Chapter Text
peter parker moments that give me life
Description-
some of yall don't pay enough attention to Stark industries events and it shows. Tony Stark’s personal intern is at so many interviews and just radiates the most gen z vibes???
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“Who's your favourite avenger Pete?” Tony says from across a kid with fluffy brown hair and a black jacket over a white button-up. Text across the bottom screen advertises the news brand with the words “Flipping around the interview”.
‘Pete’ inhales to answer, shuffling around in his chair before sitting up straighter and shooting a smile at Tony Stark.
“I’ve always looked up to Bruce Banner. We have a picture of him at my school actually, and he's really smart.”
Tony nods and agrees. “Oh yeah, he's great. Any other smart avengers you maybe look up to?”
Peter snaps his fingers before pointing at Tony Stark with a smile. “Pepper Potts is really smart! I don't know if she's really an avenger but she has that suit and runs an entire company.”
“Yep yep. And if you had to pick one more avenger? Anyone maybe whose name starts with a T and has good tech perhaps?”
Peter smiles, looking into the camera. “Oh, you mean T’Challa? His suit is insanely high tech!”
“Okay let's move on so-”
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“I'm serious, try and make me laugh.” The same boy and Tony Stark are sitting side by side with the Stark expo convention happening behind them.
Tony Stark raises an eyebrow at the camera and then turns it on the boy. They sit in silence for no more than a second before the kid bursts out laughing and falls out of his chair.
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“I know that Tony Stark, who you’ve worked on a lot of things with,-” The interviewer gets cut off with the cheers from what seems to be a live studio audience. “You have his phone number which is a pretty cool thing?”
The guy trails off looking for more information which Peter readily gives.
“I do, yeah. I do have his phone number. He facetimed me at 2 in the morning. I didn't even check to see who it was, and was all like ‘ugh’ and hung up and then I woke up the next morning to see that I had a call from him. And he saved himself in my phone as The Godfather.”
The studio turns into half cheers, half aww’s, and half laughter.
“So I woke up and saw it and panicked. I was all like ‘oh my god I’m so sorry I ghosted you!’ over text to which he didn't reply for ages cause there was a time difference with him in Alaska.”
The audience cheers which seems to surprise Peter but he continues.
“But it was the most stressful 9 hours of my life where I thought my relationship with Tony was over and he hated me.”
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“It takes a lot to shake me. Like- I'm a little more thick-skinned when it comes to… being scared by things.” Peter says next to Tony yet again. There's no context for the question, and there's a cut where Peter seems to be answering another question.
-
“-playing music in the-”
Tony jolts towards Peter with a small ‘Bah!’ and watches with a smile as Peter shrieks as he puts the arm closest to Tony up in defence and draws his fist back in less than half a second. He realises pretty quickly what happened though and lets out a small laugh that's very quickly overpowered by everyone else as Peter deflates off his chair.
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“So this wasn't too long after the first event I came to, but I was at Stark tower in the labs and there's this area where people chill and I saw a technician watching one of my interviews. And I turned to one of my friends there and commented on how weird that was cause it was my first one and it only got recognition because Tony was there.”
The interviewer nodded along and Peter continued a bit faster.
“But then all the sudden I hear a thump and someone is on the ground next to me, and she hadn't been looking too well last I saw her so I run over and tap her shoulder asking if she's okay and at no response, I’m turning her over and asking the AI in the room for vitals and the med team we have on-site. And I look up to the technician that was watching the video and he's just looking from me to the video and back again trying to recognise if it's me or not and there's a lady passed out on the floor!”
A few laughs echo across the room and Peter just looks at the interviewees and audience in bewilderment. “He just must've been thinking “Damn this kid is everywhere!” and I was trying to find this woman's pulse and I didn't know how to do that so I was screaming “SHE HAS NO PULSE oh no yes she is fine. I just don't know how to do that.”
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“What does shield stand for?”
“Oh shit.” Peter seems to blurt out before recovering. “Uh. it's like- Security…”
“No.”
“Safebound…”
“No.”
“Sword? No. uh, silent? Secret?”
“No and no. Should I give you a hint?”
“Gimme the first word.”
“Strategic.”
“Oh yeah yeah yeah, so it’s Strategic Homeland-”
There's an abrupt silence before Peter’s eyes widen and he starts whispering to himself “oh the E what's the E-”
“The I?”
Peter's face lights up before falling again and he gets a shoulder pat in comfort.
“I before E except after C right so the I has to be… Intelligence.”
“No.”
“In…” Peter trails off and the interviewer takes pity on the boy and continues it.
“...ter…”
“Interaction, Intergalactic. Intervention!”
“Yep, that's it.”
“Okay okay good. So it’s Secret Homeward Intervention-”
“No!” The interviewer breaks out laughing along with people behind the camera and Peter just stares at his hands in horror.
“Mr Stark is going to kill me.”
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“So what's next for Stark Tech then?” the interviewer asks and Peter’s eyes light up at this question as Tony’s turn panicked.
“AH, SPOILERS.” Tony Stark yells, putting his hand over Peter's mouth. There's a second of silence where now Tony is just relieved and Peter's eyes are wide open and slightly crossed looking down at Tony's hand.
Tony yells suddenly and starts petting Peter's shoulder yelling about getting him some germ x and that Peter was a disgusting teenager while Peter sits there smugly.
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Peter is holding a puppy in both his hands and smiles at the audience before starting to speak what could either be improv, true or scripted.
“This is my friend J Bone-ah Jameson. A veteran’s journalist and a really old fashioned newshound. He can sniff out just about any story as long as it's located on another dogs butt.”
He's holding another one and pouts softly at the cuteness of this dachshund before starting.
“This is Peter Barker. He may look like an ordinary Dachshund but actually, he gained superpowers after being bitten one day by a genetically enhanced terrier. That's right. He's a dog that gained the powers of a different dog and that's why his superhero name is Dog Dog.”
Peter is handed a final puppy that has a big black eyepatch covering one eye. The crowd aww again and Peter smiles.
“I'm sure you can guess who this is. This is Nick Furry.”
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The s scoreboard in the background giving both Peter and Tony a score of zero. Tony Stark picks up a card before scoffing. “I have no idea what this is. Is it a movie?”
Tony turns the card around to the camera and Peter leans forward to see it too. ‘El Pacino’ is written on it. Peter looks to the camera crew just as curious.
“I don't know what that is either.”
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The scoreboard is still 0-0 and Peter pulls a card this time before groaning.
“I have no idea how to do this one without getting on the floor.”
Tonys eyes visibly widen and Peter keeps frowning at the card which helpful text on the screen shows the views that the card reads “dolphin”
Peter gives what sounds like three high laughs and nothing like the chortling or whistles of a dolphin. Peter cuts himself off and puts his hands in his face as Tony's eyes seem to widen even further and he scoots his chair back.
“What the-”
Peter raises his hands and makes what sounds like the scroll wheel on a mouse without context but when you know it’s,a dolphin, you can hear the poor imitation of clicking noises. Tony doesn't know this is a dolphin however and is torn between laughing, running, or just plain concern.
“I used to freak my uncle out when I was younger when I made that noise and twist my neck a bit.”
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The scoreboard now shows Peter with a score of 1 and Tony with a score of 3. Peter seems to have drawn the card “Chewbacca”. Peter lets out a guttural scream and Tony only sighs before answering correctly.
“He does this every star wars marathon he forces me into.”
-
Peter's face twists up as he looks at the card that has the word crow on it. Peter is now up to two points, but Tony is up to 4 also. Peter makes a noise that sounds like a dinosaur, and Tony incorrectly guesses a velociraptor. Peter shakes his head and then makes chicken wings while making the same sound.
Tony breaks down laughing. “Keep doing that, I'll get it eventually.”
The next cuts are just that before Tony holds up his hand. “Okay okay. Is it a velociraptor?”
Peter shoots him a deadpan look and flaps his wings even more “yeah cause that's what-”
“Alright alright calm down. Ostrich?”
“No.”
Peter doesn't give anything else and Tony lets out a squawk of his own as he's thinking about it and the camera focuses on his snap and point as he tells Tony that it was more accurate than what Peter was trying to do.
“Bird?” Tony hedges out.
“Obviously.”
Tony makes a face and cuts the kid off. “Well, not real-”
“Shut up. Little wings. Smaller bird.”
“Crow?”
-
“Oh hello-” Peter starts in an awful imitation of a Scottish accent. “Children. Nice to meet you.”
“Mrs Doubfire?”
The score ends on three for Peter and 7 for Tony.
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A very red Peter is holing a pair of ironman boxers up.
“This should be your thumbnail.”
Tony’s laughter can be heard in the background.
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“We know what you would do with superpowers.” Tony muses out. The white background that previously showed angle wings and a halo turn into devil horns and wings.
“Listen just because that one time I said id rob a bank-”
“Who admits to that in the first place kid?” Tony sounds bewildered, but not at the fact that it’s something Peter would do in the first place.
“That's because I don't have superpowers,” Peter says like it’s the most obvious thing.
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They seem to be setting up for an interview, a lady getting in place across from Peter.
“I love WatchMojo,” Peter mumbles out a bit, clearly not thinking this would make the final cut for the video. The WatchMojo logo appears in the corner.
“No!” The lady says with a smile as if in disbelief.
“I'm always watching the ‘top ten things’ videos. The intro is constantly in my head.”
“That's me!” the lady smiles finally sitting down. Peter has a look of disbelief.
“No way! You narrate it? Can you do it for me please?”
From the background and in captions, Tony Stark says “he’s using the Puppy eyes, you have no escape.”
“Oh gosh, I’ve never done this in person.” The lady says, before going all in. “welcome to WatchMojo-”
“No WAY DUDE! OH MY GOD!” Peter starts bouncing in his chair and waving his hands around.”
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“I want to set up my own dumpling shop.”
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“So are you next in line for taking over the company? There been some word about you and another boy named Harley filling the spots of Mr and Mrs Stark.”
Peter starts backing away off-camera.
“I think Captain America is robbing a bank I need to go stop him.
“I- what? Why would he be robbing a bank?”
“He’s-... poor. Thank you for having me!”
Comments :
Bethany
Not even going to lie, but when Tony scared Peter, he scared me too lol…
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Caroline
He’s precious, smart, and funny?
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Queen JaeHee
Thank god this went viral we may have never known about this kid otherwise.
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