Chapter Text
KIYOOMI
Kiyoomi’s first thought when he opens his eyes is, Where am I?
The smell of rubbing alcohol floods his nose, and his head immediately starts ringing when his eyes open fully and he’s assaulted with the white lights and white walls and why is everything white?
Where was he? How did he get here? What was going on?
“Ah, Sakusa-san, I see you’re awake!”
Kiyoomi turns his head and sees a man with a kind face wearing a white coat step into the room, clipboard under his arm. “I’m Dr. Nakahara. I know you must be a little confused right now. We’re going to do some examinations, and then I’m going to ask you a few questions. Is that alright?”
He nods, and the doctor waves a nurse over to do some medical stuff that Kiyoomi most definitely doesn’t know the specifics of. Then, Dr. Nakahara begins asking him what seems like basic questions, such as “Do you know where you are?”, “Do you know who you are?”, and “Do you know why you’re here?”, which he answers “no, yes, and no” to. Once the examination is over, the doctor writes down a few things on his clipboard and then smiles softly at Kiyoomi.
“So, I’d like to break it to you straight right now that you were in a car accident, Sakusa-san,” the doctor starts. “And you seem to be suffering from some degree of amnesia right now, most likely because of the head injury you suffered. You also have a few broken bones, as well as lacerations on your arms and one on your face.”
Kiyoomi sucks in a harsh breath. “So, how long do I have to stay here?”
“Well, not long, hopefully,” the doctor rifles through his papers. “Looks like the thing that will impede you the most is your amnesia, and it looks like even that should go away once you acclimate yourself to daily life again. I’m going to go examine these results a bit more, and then come back to you with a more specific diagnosis. In the meantime, would you like to see the person who brought you in? He looked mighty worried.”
Something itches at Kiyoomi’s brain, and a flash of light yellow crosses behind his eyes. Maybe it’s a fragment of a memory set to return soon? Either way, seeing someone he knows might help in his memory recovery process, so he nods.
Dr. Nakahara steps outside and waves someone in. As soon as the person enters the room, Kiyoomi’s chest feels lighter and his eyes widen. He recognizes this person - how could he not?
“Omi, I see you’ve finally woken u-”
“‘Tsumu!” Kiyoomi interrupts, lips already curving into a smile. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“Uh, ya are?” the man, Atsumu, steps closer to the bed. He does so cautiously, as if approaching a scared and possibly dangerous animal. Kiyoomi huffs impatiently. “Why?”
“You’re such a dummy, sometimes,” Kiyoomi laughs. The guy is a jokester! “How could I not be glad when my own boyfriend visits me in the hospital?”
“Ohhhh shit.”
+++
ATSUMU
Let’s rewind a little bit.
Miya Atsumu is a student at Chuo University, majoring in political science and minoring in musical theory, because he’s diverse like that. In addition, he’s the setter of the university’s first-string volleyball team. He has friends that he enjoys hanging out with a lot, like Bokuto Koutarou and Hinata Shoyo, who’re both also on the volleyball team.
He also has enemies, like Sakusa Kiyoomi. Unluckily, the guy also plays with Atsumu.
So, he’s a bit shocked when said enemy latches onto him like a freaking octopus the moment he approaches his hospital bed. Atsumu’s powerless to do anything except awkwardly pat Sakusa on the back and let the guy smush his face into Atsumu’s collarbone. Yeah, he’s uncomfortable, but he’s not cruel enough to hurt the injured!
“Atsuu,” Atsumu literally stops breathing. Like, his chest stops moving and everything. “When can I go home? With you?”
Atsumu looks beseechingly at the doctor. He makes sure that he’s using his puppy eyes so that the guy is persuaded into talking. Looks like it worked, because the doctor consults his documents and then smiles. “Good news, Sakusa-san, Miya-san, it looks like you’ll be cleared in a week and a half. We’ll send you home with some medication and a recommendation for physical therapy, along with bi-weekly checkups for the head injury, but everything should heal accordingly and you’ll be back to normal in no time. Do you have any other questions?”
Sakusa shakes his head. Atsumu nods.
“You may ask me anything you want, Miya-san,” the doctor says, then looks at his watch. “However, it seems that it’s time for Sakusa-san’s medication dose, so if you could follow me outside, we can talk there.”
Atsumu nearly jumps off the bed and does a victory dance around the room. He was already going to ask the doctor if they could speak privately, since he was going to address the fact that this guy was not his boyfriend. Now, though, he has an excuse to do just that without explaining himself to the cuddly blob that is Sakusa Kiyoomi. Even though he was literally just told by a medical professional that they had to leave the room, the guy’s looking at him as he leaves like he just betrayed him, drama movie-style. If it was literally anybody else, Atsumu might’ve even thought that those wide eyes were a little adorable.
Alas, it isn’t anybody else, it’s his mortal enemy. So, no, those wide eyes are not even a little cute. Nope.
“‘Tsumu, you’re coming back soon, right?”
Atsumu grits his teeth into what he hopes is the illusion of a comforting smile, and turns around. “Of course, honey. I’ll come right back.” Where the hell did that pet name come from?
He’s probably going to have to wash his mouth out with soap later after referring to Sakusa as his “honey”, but for now it seems to have done the job as the other man rolls onto his back, seemingly content, as the nurses inject some type of medication into his IV.
“Follow me,” the doctor waves a hand as he walks out of the room.
He follows him down a hallway, until they reach a waiting area with a bunch of chairs and less people. The doctor invites him to sit down, and he does. Atsumu waits for the other man to take a seat as well. Then, he calmly begins to express his worries.
“Doctor-san, somethin’s really fuckin’ wrong ‘cause the person in there is actually not my boyfriend he is actually the freakin’ worst we hated each other before the accident please tell me there is somethin’ ya can do to solve this problem ‘cause I reallycan’ttakeitanymoreohmygod -”
See? Calm.
Before he can continue, though, the doctor stops him with a raised hand. “I already know what was going on as soon as you stepped in the room, Miya-san. I understand your concerns.” He reaches back and pulls out a pamphlet from his jacket, handing it to Atsumu. The front of it reads, “So You’re Dealing With Fake Memories During Amnesia. That Sucks. What To Do Next.”
“Fake memories? That’s what this is?”
“Yes, in more simple terms,” the doctor - now that Atsumu knows what’s going on, he remembers that the guy’s name is Nakahara - starts. “What’s basically happening is that Sakusa-san’s brain has, for lack of better words, latched onto you as a response to such turbulent trauma. The accident, I take it, was brutal. He was lucky to have survived, nevertheless gotten off with such light injury.”
Atsumu doesn’t disagree there. The car accident, which had happened just a few hours earlier, was haunting and something that no one, even his worst enemy, should have suffered through. What made it even worse was that it wasn’t even Sakusa’s fault, in this case.
The fact that Atsumu had even been close to the scene at the time of the incident was pure luck. He’d been shopping for groceries for the week, and had seen Sakusa’s car drive up to the crosswalk he was about to pass through. He recognized it because it had the university’s volleyball team’s logo with Sakusa’s number in the middle pasted right on the passenger window, not because Atsumu cared enough to notice the small details of the guy’s life. Right as the light had turned green, Sakusa’s car was the first one to drive forward; he must’ve been in a rush to do something.
That’s when the disaster happened.
Since Sakusa’s car was in the right-most lane and he was the first one to bolt after the green-light, he was the one that got hit the worst. A speeding driver from the right lanes had run a red light, and in doing so crashed straight into the right side of Sakusa’s car. Later, Atsumu would find out that the other driver had also been speeding - eighty miles per hour in a forty-five mile per hour zone. When it’d occurred, Atsumu had thought the scene was playing in slow-motion; it felt so unreal. In fact, he didn’t even register what was happening until a small piece of glass flew from the debris and cut the skin above his right cheek-bone.
If Sakusa had been the only one in the road, he might not have suffered so much injury. The force of the offender’s car had pushed Sakusa’s car into the other cars that were driving in the lanes next to him, which meant that he’d taken hits on both sides of his car. When the collisions ceased, Atsumu ran to the rubble and pulled the other man out. He was unconscious, pulse so light that it was nearly non-existent. Then, he’d called 911 and waited with Sakusa in his arms until the paramedics came.
To their credit, the other driver did come out and tried to assess Sakusa’s health, along with the other victims.
But that didn’t mean Atsumu had been any less angry. He’d smelled the alcohol on their breath, recognized their recklessness in driving. With conviction, he’d hoped that this person got booked for driving under the influence and speeding, and even started calculating what evidence could help that case in his mind. There was no pity where the law was involved.
Did Atsumu nearly panic when the paramedics took Sakusa out of his arms? Yes.
Did that change how much animosity he harbored towards the other guy? No.
Anyone would be panicked if they saw someone they knew and encountered everyday and was on the same sports team as them all bloodied up and going into an ambulance. Even though Atsumu thought that Sakusa shouldn’t have had to go through all that, it didn’t change the fact that they didn’t like each other at all.
Well. He guesses now it’s only Atsumu that doesn’t like Sakusa. Sakusa seems to like Atsumu a little too much.
Dr. Nakahara gently pries the pamphlet from Atsumu’s hand, which he recognizes is now crumpled in some places where he’d gripped it so hard while reliving the crash, and opens it to the first page, which read “Basic Information”. “I know you’re capable of reading this on your own, but I want to explain a little bit what’s happening and what you can do, if that’s alright with you.” Atsumu nods. “Alright.”
“Basically, the accident caused so much trauma to Sakusa-san’s brain that it immediately latched onto the most recognizable thing as a sense of comfort, in order to assure the rest of his body that everything’s alright, even though it isn’t. You’re the last person he saw before going into unconsciousness -”
“Wait, he was already unconscious when I scooped him outta that wreck. He didn’t see me, then.”
“From my reports, it seems that there was a short period of time that he actually was conscious directly after he was harmed,” Dr. Nakahara looks up. “That means that he most likely saw you coming towards him and the wreckage.”
Atsumu blinks. The doctor continues. “In addition, you see each other everyday in university, you knew each other in high school, and you’re the first person he saw when he woke up. All that causes the brain to find you as a source of reliability and something trustworthy.”
“But we literally hated each other before this even happened. How could his brain still find me trustworthy when it usually wants to slap me in the face?”
Dr. Nakahara laughs, continuing: “The brain is a funny thing. It can create false memories extremely easily. Usually the cause is to fill in missing blanks with what it believes to be right, which is it’s own way of trying to cure it’s own amnesia. Now, what motivates that is even funnier. It can be a number of things, but the most common is repressed emotion.”
What? Repressed emotion?
“Many people say that repressed emotions are what a person truly feels, and what can’t go away no matter what people tell them. So, of course, when the brain forgets all, it most certainly doesn’t remember fake emotions. It remembers one’s true emotions, and then forges the new memories based on those.”
“So, Omi - sorry, Sakusa-san - made up the fact that I’m his boyfriend...from his true feelin’s?”
“It seems that that’s the most likely cause,” Dr. Nakahara hums. “That’s mostly what I wanted to explain to you, since this information can help you navigate the situation...delicately. The rest will be up to you to find out from this pamphlet and any additional research you decide to do.”
“Wow…” Atsumu can’t believe this. “Thank ya so much, Dr. Nakahara, for explainin’ all this..I feel like I understand it all better now!”
He stands up and bows quickly, before leaving in the direction of Sakusa’s room. In the background, he can hear the doctor’s chuckling. Thanks to him, though, Atsumu has a plan now.
That repressed emotion thing? Atsumu knows exactly what caused it. Two words, in fact.
Sexual. Tension. That was the only possibility.
For some background: he and Sakusa were notorious for their conflicts and animosity towards each other, both on campus and on the volleyball team. Even though they had different minors, with Sakusa in biochemistry, they battled for the top spot constantly in their shared major, and fought over what was the best strategy for their next match almost every time they talked about it. Outside of their shared organizations, their personalities clashed so hard that they couldn’t rest their bickering even for a second.
It usually went something like this:
“Ya know, I think that angel hair pasta is actually pretty good ‘cause -”
“Of course, you would think that.”
“Huh? The hell does that mean?”
Silence ensues.
“I ASKED YA A QUESTION YA PRICKLY MOTHERFUCKER!”
Or:
“Fine, fine, ‘m sorry.”
“Finally, Miya, you’ve come to your senses -”
“Sorry for draggin’ deez nuts on yer face!”
“See? This is the reason why I threw that water bottle at your face the other day, because your stupid mouth never stops fucking running you are an imbecile what the actual -”
You know, something like that.
There are literally no positive emotions that they could have towards each other. Except what Atsumu just mentioned: physical attraction.
Even with all the arguments going on, Atsumu was still a raging, seeing bisexual that could easily tell that Sakusa Kiyoomi is one attractive motherfucker, ugly personality and all. And from the way that the guy’s eyes track down to Atsumu’s thighs or mouth once in a while, he’d say that they share the same sentiment about each other. So, Atsumu’s reasoning is that Sakusa’s brain was so damn horny for him that it’d concocted a world where Atsumu was Sakusa’s, in every manner. The trust that came from their spiker-setter relationship on the court probably supplemented the fake emotional connection that his brain made; otherwise, the fake memories would’ve probably just been of them being friends with benefits.
That made Atsumu think about relationship stuff, which led to them thinking about the fact that his conclusion meant that Sakusa had definitely thought of them in more...compromising positions before. He’s appalled to discover that he isn’t as repulsed by that idea as he should be.
So, back to his plan. First, a disclaimer. Atsumu is in no means a heartbreaker or a shitty person, contrary to popular belief. No matter how much he wants this stupid false memory thing to end, he won’t be breaking new-Sakusa’s heart in order to do it. Plus, new-Sakusa isn’t old Sakusa, even though he might have the same personality towards everything except Atsumu. He was nicer, more compliant, and less likely to literally bite Atsumu in the leg when they tussled.
Yes, that has happened. Yes, Atsumu had to go to the university infirmary. The guy has really sharp canines, and that’s scary.
Which meant that Atsumu had to be careful about this. This is where his experience as Sakusa’s arch-nemesis came in handy - he knew all of this guy’s pet peeves, triggers (not the mentally debilitating ones, just the annoying ones), and do-nots. In fact, he’s pretty sure that after their sixth argument, he’d started keeping a list of them somewhere in his apartment. He’d have to find that when he got home.
Basically, he’d incorporate each of those into their everyday relationship until Kiyoomi got sick of him and wanted to end the relationship on his own terms. He’d act like a bad boyfriend in all the ways that wouldn’t break the other’s heart. That way, no one got emotionally damaged, they’d return to their regular relationship as enemies, and Atsumu could stop being put through this torture. He has to remember - old-Sakusa would probably faint if he knew this was happening. Technically, he’s doing a favor for both of them, especially when Sakusa gets his memories back and remembers whatever’s going on now. Atsumu thinks that his plan is quite brilliant, if he does say so himself. Mentally, he pats himself on the back.
Physically, he forces himself to step inside the hospital room that houses his now-boyfriend. Sakusa is still dozing, but at the sound of Atsumu’s footsteps, he opens his eyes blearily.
“Atsu, is that you?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” Atsumu replies, walking over to take a seat next to the hospital bed. “How’re ya feelin’?”
“Mm, better now that you’re here.”
“Good, good. I’m glad. What kinda boyfriend would I be if I couldn’t make ya feel better?”