Work Text:
Dell made a huge breakfast for the team the next morning. The hotcakes were done, a huge batch of scrambled eggs and cheese were on the table, and plenty of toast, popups, coffee, butter and jam. He had plenty of sausage set out on the table and there was some fruit, but the only one that ate that seemed to be the Sniper.
And only apples. Maybe a banana if he felt like it.
The corners of the tablecloth were at 90 degrees. The plates were warmed and spotless, had a heck of a shine. The Engineer stood back, and dusted off his apron, beaming. What a mighty fine spread he had made for the team!
Jane Doe strode in.
“ATTENTION!” Jane yelled. Dell stared back at him.
“Yes, Jane? What can I do you for?”
“I need sausage. Plenty of meat for a hard day of work!” Jane stated. Dell stared at him, blushing.
“Or are you waiting to see how my cookies crumble, Private?”
The engineer rushed to get the man what he wanted. He looked down as he swept past, piling a plate of food for his boyfriend.
The boots were muddy.
There were muddy boot prints everywhere.
“DAGNABBIT TO HELL!” shouted Dell. “YA GOT MUD ALL OVER MY NICE CLEAN MESS!”
“Hue hue hue,” giggled Jane. “What you said was completely silly!”
“What-!” Dell was flabbergasted.
Jane didn’t even pay any attention to Dell. He strode to the other side of the table.
“I want to have one of those popups. And these hot cakes are finger lickin’good!”
Dell’s jaw worked as he got redder and redder. Did that man say what he thought he said or was he really that clueless?
“Uh, Jane, uhm…”Dell said. He was flustered, aggravated, and hot and bothered all at the same time.
“Yes, Private?” Jane held up a plate of hot buns, and was pouring honey all over them. It ran down the buns, off the edge of the plate, and onto the floor. With the mud, this was going to be a messy mess indeed.
“Would’ya, I mean, try to keep this mess clean? Ya know, the rest of the team is coming, and the sausages are all stirred up-“
“Nonsense! There is clearly bacon on the table as well!” Jane picked up the plate with sausages in it. He held up two. “"Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?" He was grinning.
“Tarnation, Jane! Git the heck outta my kitchen!!”
“Can you let me lick the honey off those buns?”
“Oh my god.” Dell slapped himself. Jane poured himself a coffee. He looked at the table again and saw that Dell had put out the hazelnut creamer. Jane made a face.
“I need cream in my mug!” Dell removed his hand to look at Jane. No, he wasn’t kidding around with Dell, the man was a serious as a stroke. “There’s some right there!” Dell pointed at it.
“Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. This coffee is good to the last drop!” Jane sucked it down. “Tastes as good as it smells…”
The Engineer was completely red in the face. He pointed a gloved hand at the door.
Solly put the plate down and strode to the door, shoulders hunched over and clumping mud.
After he left, the rustled Engineer sped around the table, cleaning up the mess. The last thing he picked up was Jane’s breakfast.
“Aww, hell,” he muttered. ‘It’d be a shame’ta waste this good food,”
Dell took the plate to Jane’s room, where he was greeted quite happily, and I bet you all know what happened next ;)