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Dear Marco,
I'm not really sure what to say. I feel kind of stupid for doing this. Armin said it might help though, so I'm gonna try it out. I miss you. I've cried every night. I don't sleep very well and when I do sleep, I have nightmares. All of them about you. About you dying every possible way. I know you don't want to hear about this. I know you probably want me to tell you that everything is okay. I can't though... I won't lie to you even if you're not here anymore.
I've decided to join the Survey Corps. To hell with the king and even to hell with keeping myself safe in the inner walls. I'm not going to sit all comfy while our other friends die out there. I'm not going to let your death mean nothing. I'm going to fight. I'm going to kill. Most of all, I'm going to survive. I don't want to. The walls know how bad I just want to end it all now. I can't though. I won't.
There are thing I wanted to tell you. Things I actually just came to terms with. I had... well I still do. I have feelings for you... I guess I always have, but never realized it. When you died though, only then did I realize how much I love you. How much I just wanted to hold you close and kiss you. I know I sound like a sap, but it's true.
I should probably go to bed now. It's getting late and I need the rest for tomorrow.
Your friend,
Jean