Chapter Text
Kaidan leaned against the railing, looking out the window at the ships flying past the Normandy’s dock. Shepard watched him closely. She wasn’t sure what to expect. She had done her best to reassure him about Udina and the Cerberus coup attempt, but their showdown had left them both anxious. After a tense moment, he seemed to come to a decision. He nodded and turned back toward her.
“Look, Shepard. There’s another reason I’m here,” he said. He walked past her to lean against the interior wall. “Hackett offered me a position, but I’d turn it down in a second if there was a chance to join you on the Normandy again.”
“Couldn’t imagine meeting the Reapers without you,” she said with a smile.
“Thank you, Commander. And Shepard. I need you to know that I’ll never doubt you again. I’ve got your back.” He reached out a hand. Smile growing into a grin, Shepard shook it.
“Good to know. Welcome aboard, Major.”
Kaidan saluted. “Aye, aye, ma’am.” His gaze drifted out to the ships passing by again. With a quirk of his lips, he turned to walk back toward the Citadel. “I’ve got a few things to square away here. I’ll grab my things and meet you on the ship.”
“Sounds good,” she said. She turned to watch him leave. Guilt soured her stomach and she reached out to grab his arm. “Wait, Kay. There’s something we should talk about,” she said.
“I’m listening,” he replied. He turned back toward her, eyes wary.
“After everything that’s happened, you deserve to know the truth. What we had back on the SR1 was precious to me. Honestly, remembering what we had got me through the first part of the Collector mission. I know we talked about Garrus while you were in the hospital, but I didn’t tell you everything.” She paused to collect herself. When she continued, she looked him straight in the eye. “What Garrus and I had wasn’t a fling. It wasn’t battlefield lust. I fell in love with him. My time on Earth didn’t change that. And by some miracle, he felt the same. We’re still together, and we haven’t exactly been hiding it from the crew. You’re going to hear about it on the ship.”
He let his gaze drift out to the shipping lanes again. He’d had his suspicions. A person as high profile as Shepard didn’t walk hand in hand with a turian on the Citadel without the rumor mill picking up on it. He had a lot of time to think while he was healing and during the weeks afterward when he was assigned to watch over the Council. He respected Shepard. He wanted to fix their friendship and professional relationship. He definitely wanted to be on the front lines with the Normandy for this war. But ultimately, he had come to the conclusion that any romantic feelings he had for Shepard had faded to a pleasant memory. He hadn’t been sure how to explain that to her. A small smile ghosted across his face. This might turn out to be easier that he had expected. He turned back to her, shoulders relaxed. His easy posture allowed her to relax as well. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
“I’ll understand if it bothers you. If you want to change your mind about coming back to the ship,” she said.
Kaidan chuckled. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Liz. You and your turian will just have to deal with me hanging around,” he quipped. One side of her mouth twitched in what might have been a smile. Kaidan placed one hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. “Seriously, though, I’m glad. You both deserve a little happiness in all of this. And the Normandy is on the front line of this war. That’s where I want to be… where I need to be. I started this with you three years ago. I’ll be damned if I am going to be anywhere else when it ends.”
She let out a huge sigh of relief. “We’re glad to have you on board, Kaidan.”
***
Kaidan stepped through the airlock onto the Normandy. Despite the size difference of the newer ship, the basic layout of this deck was the same as the original. He knew his way to the CIC well enough that he was looking at his omnitool as he walked in. So it caught him off guard when a voice he didn’t recognize said, “Welcome back, Major Alenko.”
He looked up to see the Cerberus robot that had nearly killed him on Mars standing serenely near the cockpit, hands clasped behind its back in a mockery of parade rest. Kaidan didn’t think. He dropped his go bag to reach for his pistol, remembering at the last second that he wasn’t armed. Biotic energy flared around his other hand. He pulled it back, preparing to throw the mech into the wall.
Behind the thing, Joker struggled to stand. “Kaidan, no! Wait!”
The airlock slid open behind him. Vega said, “Shit! Hold up, Major!”
Another soldier slid in between him and the robot. He registered the dark skin, military buzz cut, and slim, muscled shoulders. But his piercing blue eyes immediately drew Kaidan’s attention. He held his hands up as if surrendering, eyes wide with fear. “Please stand down, Major. EDI’s one of us.” His voice remained calm and steady despite the tension in his shoulders. Kaidan couldn’t help but notice the man’s full lips.
“EDI? The ship’s VI?” Kaidan asked, his gaze locked to the stranger’s.
“Well, sort of. She’s actually an AI. Fully independent. Took everyone a little time to adjust, but she’s been really helpful,” the soldier said.
“Sorry we lied, Kaidan. Didn’t seem like a good idea to let the brass know during the retrofits,” Joker said. Kaidan glanced at the pilot. He was out of his chair and standing with one hand almost protectively on the mech.
“And it’s moved into this robot now?” Kaidan asked. He kept one eye on the ‘bot, but the other on the strange soldier. The man’s calm demeanor helped steady him.
“Not entirely, Major. I am still fully integrated with the Normandy. I also control this mobile platform,” the robot said. He almost blasted it anyway, regardless of the safety of Joker or the new guy.
“And Dr. Eva?” he asked instead.
“All Cerberus programming has been eradicated,” EDI said. “Including Dr. Eva.”
He glanced at Vega. “Lieutenant, you fought this thing on Mars. Do you believe that?” he asked.
“Yes, sir. Been fightin’ beside her for months. She’s good,” Vega said.
Kaidan let the dark energy fade. He lowered his hand and took a step back, letting out a shaky breath. Joker pulled EDI back into the cockpit. Vega followed to check on them. The new guy lowered his hands and stepped toward Kaidan.
“We didn’t have a chance to meet when we left Earth. I’m Flight Lieutenant Steve Cortez,” he said. He snapped off a quick salute before holding out his hand. Kaidan shook it. Cortez’s hand was callused, strong. The warmth of it felt good against Kaidan’s skin. He flushed slightly, glad the hallway was dark enough to hide it.
He cleared his throat, breaking the contact. “That was brave of you. Not everyone would get between a biotic and his target like that.”
“Yeah, well. Joker’s fond of EDI, and us pilots have to stick together,” Cortez said with a shrug.
Kaidan nodded. With the adrenaline fading, he started to feel shaky. A shot of pain behind one eye was a warning he knew better than to ignore. Between the conversation with Shepard, and the robot, the day had been an emotional roller coaster. They hadn’t even made it out of dock yet and he was already getting a migraine. This war was going to kill him. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Are you alright, Major?” Cortez asked.
“Yeah. A little too much excitement. I just need somewhere quiet to relax,” he said.
“I have an idea.” Cortez grabbed Kaidan’s go bag and beckoned him to follow.
***
They rode the elevator down to the crew deck. Kaidan leaned his head back and closed his eyes, giving Steve a chance to watch him. Standing down the biotic had been one of the most terrifying things he had ever done. But the sight of that glowing dark energy writhing over the major’s muscled shoulders and arms had stolen the pilot’s breath. He was beautiful.
He cleared his throat and turned away as the elevator doors opened. “I take it Shepard forgot to mention our mechanical friend?” he asked, leading the way to the observation lounge.
“Yep. Totally slipped her mind that I might have an issue serving with the mech that smashed my brains in,” Kaidan growled. The biotic’s low, rumbling voice sent a shiver down Steve’s spine, but he was glad the anger in it was directed elsewhere.
They stepped into the lounge and the doors slid shut behind them. The room was usually kept dim. Thick walls shut out most of the sound from outside. Steve’s favorite feature was the nearly floor to ceiling window looking out on the stars.
Kaidan sighed with relief. “This is perfect. Thank you,” he said.
“My pleasure. Is there anything else I can do for you, Major?” Steve asked.
“There’s a lot that needs arranging. But I don’t want to impose. I’m sure you have your own duties to attend to,” Kaidan said. The biotic’s smile sent a shot of heat through Steve, something he hadn’t felt since Robert died.
He took a deep breath and pulled out his friendliest smile. “Actually, no, sir. Not just at the moment. The shuttle’s loaded and repaired, and I won’t have anything else to do until our supply order arrives later today. By the way, I’m the shuttle pilot, but I’m also the ship’s procurement officer. If you need to requisition anything, just let me know.”
Kaidan looked impressed. “In that case, I need a portable terminal, two or three monitors, as many blank data pads as you can get me, and a secure extranet connection,” he said. “I guess I’ll be taking over the XO’s office.”
“Um, I’m afraid Dr. T’Soni’s claimed that room, sir. And getting her out of it may prove difficult,” Steve said.
Kaidan rubbed his head. “Oh. In that case, if you don’t think anyone will mind, I’ll set up in here.”
“You’ll have to confirm with Shepard, but I don’t think it will be a problem. Few of us have time to really enjoy this room, anyway. I’ll get what you need. Our Comm Specialist, Samantha Traynor, can set you up on the extranet,” Steve said. He saluted and moved toward the door as Kaidan dropped onto one of the couches.
“Thank you, Lieutenant,” the Major said.
“Again, my pleasure. And feel free to call me Steve,” he said. He was out the door before Kaidan could respond. Which was just as well since his skin wasn’t dark enough to hide the blush that crept up his face. Why had he said that?
***
Steve was just piling the last of the major’s requests onto a pallet when his terminal chimed. He ran over to answer it, wiping sweat from his brow. Shepard’s face appeared on his screen. “What can I do for you, Commander?” he asked.
“Hi, Steve. What are you up to that’s got you all sweaty?” she asked. It was an innocent enough question, but the gleam in her eyes told him she was teasing him. Ever since she caught him watching Vega during one of his workouts, she couldn’t leave well enough alone. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
“Just helping Major Alenko get settled in. He requested some computer equipment that we had in storage,” Steve said.
“Oh, thanks for that. I was going to find him a place to set up shop when I got back, but things just keep coming up. Where did he land?” she asked.
“The observation lounge. He said he wanted somewhere quiet. That was the first place that came to mind,” Steve replied.
“No, that’s perfect. He gets migraines, so that will be a good refuge for him.” Shepard looked at something off screen and waved at someone. “Listen, the supply shipment got delayed until tomorrow. So, you get shore leave tonight.”
“Thanks, Commander.” His eyes ticked over to the shuttle.
“I mean it, Steve. I’m going to check the logs tomorrow. I better see you leaving that ship. At least for a few hours,” she said, giving him her best big sister glare.
Steve laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yes, ma’am. I promise.”
“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said. She was hurrying off to her next meeting even before the call disconnected.
He glanced over at Vega’s station. The big man wasn’t there, but Steve was pretty sure he was still on board. Maybe they could go to dinner or hit a club later. He could use the distraction. If he went onto the Citadel alone, he would just end up at the refugee memorial wall fighting the urge to reclaim the data pad with his last recording of Robert on it. He knew Shepard had been right about letting it go. He even felt a little better since he had. But the downtimes were still hard, and the temptation to retrieve it was strong whenever they were on the Citadel.
With a sigh, Cortez activated the mass effect generator on the pallet. The whole thing lifted a few inches off the ground. He pulled it effortlessly to the elevator. While he rode back up to deck three, he tried to think of something to occupy his mind on shore leave. Biotiball? No good teams were playing. Armax Arena? That was more James’ thing, but it might be fun. Movie? Nothing good playing. A night club might be the best idea. Giving in to the beat of the music and the rhythm of the dancers would distract him. At least for a bit.
The elevator doors opened, and he pushed it all from his mind. He had work to do. For now, that was still the best way to keep himself from his grief. When he got to the lounge, Kaidan was clearing a space along one wall.
“That was fast!” he said. “I figured you’d be busy with the supplies by now.”
“Shipment was delayed. I’m all yours,” Steve replied.
Kaidan walked over and picked up the box of data pads. He let out a low chuckle. “My lucky day, then,” he said.
Steve realized what he had said and flushed again, glad the major’s back was turned. What the hell was wrong with his mouth today? One minute he was thinking about his dead husband, the next he was flirting with someone way above his station. Robert would actually have laughed at him. Steve picked up one of the screens and followed the biotic. Club, alcohol, dancing. Definitely what he needed after all this.
He forced his brain back onto safer topics. “Did you get some rest, Major?” he asked as they worked together to move everything where Kaidan wanted it.
“I did. Painkillers helped, too,” Kaidan replied.
Steve paused, remembering his conversation with Shepard. “Um, Shepard mentioned something about you getting migraines? Is that what happened?” he asked.
“Yeah. Well, the beginning of one. I think I headed off the worst of it. Migraines are no joke, and not how I wanted to spend my first day back,” Kaidan said. He started setting up his system with ease.
The Normandy’s crew had a better than average number of tech experts on board. When they had left Earth, most of the people on the ship were R&D specialists helping with the retrofits. While Steve considered himself highly skilled in technical arts, this crew made him feel average. Kaidan blew them all away. He flew through set-up, diagnostics, and software upgrades, even downloading a few programs Steve wasn’t aware existed. He had contacted Traynor while Steve was collecting the hardware and gotten all his extranet links established and tested. The whole time, he kept up a conversation on everything from the crew, to music, to the latest tech gadgets. All Steve could do was watch in awe.
Finally, the hardware was set up and the system was running smoothly. Kaidan pushed away from his terminal with a satisfied grunt. As he did, his stomach let out a growl. He gave an embarrassed laugh. “I guess it’s dinner time, then. Liz will kill me if I don’t take care of myself,” he said.
“Liz?” Steve asked.
“Shepard. Between the biotics-induced migraines and the beating I took on Mars, she worries,” Kaidan explained.
Steve wondered exactly how close the major and the commander were that Kaidan could drop her first name with such ease. But he kept the thought to himself. Instead, he said, “Yeah, she’s good like that. I’m in for a lecture tomorrow if I don’t get off the ship for a bit. Mandatory shore leave.”
“She had to make that an order?” Kaidan asked with a raised eyebrow. Steve just nodded. The major chuckled. “You fit right in with the rest of this crazy crew, then. Well, far be it from me to keep you from following orders. Come on, Lieutenant. Dinner’s on me.”
Steve felt his stomach drop.
***
They managed to snag James on the way out of the airlock, which at least let Steve relax a bit. He hadn’t reacted to anyone like this since Robert. The fact that Kaidan was a major just complicated matters. James led them to a bar near the docks that had a decent menu. Good enough that if you squinted and didn’t look real hard, you could almost call it a restaurant.
Once they had settled at a table and placed their orders, Kaidan looked at Steve. “So, Shepard was talking about me?” he asked.
“A little, yeah. She asked where you were settling in. When I told her, she mentioned it was a good place because of the migraines. Nothing big,” Steve said. He hesitated. “Um, should she not have told me that?” he asked.
“I would have preferred to let that one be known in my own time, but it’s fine,” Kaidan said.
“Oh, yeah. She said something about that when we dropped you at the hospital. Something about your biotic implant?” James added.
“Dammit, Shepard,” Kaidan mumbled. “Yeah. I have an L2 implant. I got lucky on the dice roll of crippling neurological side effects and all it does is give me migraines that can put me out of commission for days at a time. Still better than some of the others got.”
They paused while their food was delivered. When the waiter left, Steve said, “I heard about the reparations that were awarded to the L2s a couple years ago. From what it sounded like, a few of them were driven insane from it.”
“More than a few. Like I said, I got lucky. Guess I should tell Shepard about the reparations. Not sure she knows. We had a hand in getting that bill passed. It was denied the first time. A bunch of L2s kidnapped the chairman of the Reparations Committee to try to force the bill through. Shepard and I managed to talk them down and save the chairman’s life,” Kaidan said.
“Shit, Alenko. Nice work,” James said.
“Thanks. But let’s talk about something else if you don’t mind,” Kaidan said.
“What do you think of the crew?” Steve asked.
“Well, I’ve worked with Liara, Tali, and Garrus before. We were all together on the Saren mission. Joker and the doc, too. The only ones missing from our original ground crew are Wrex and Ashley,” Kaidan said.
“Yeah, we met Wrex. He’s one scary ass dude,” James said.
Kaidan chuckled. “Not once you get to know him. I thought Shepard was crazy at first, letting him on the ship. But he turned out to be a great guy, and a fantastic leader. I was… nervous when I heard about the genophage. But I’ve spoken to Wrex since, and he has a plan and the means to pull it off. I think Bacara is a good influence on him.”
“Who’s Ashley?” Steve asked.
Kaidan’s eyes clouded over and he looked away. “Ash… Ash was part of our ground crew. She died on Virmire. Please don’t ask,” he said. He took a deep breath and turned back to them. They had both been soldiers long enough to know that tone. They’d each lost people that were too hard to talk about.
“Okay, Esteban and I are o-for-two on topics. Why don’t you pick, L2?” James said. Steve held his breath and James grimaced. Kaidan raised an eyebrow at him. “I, uh, I’m not so good with names all the time. So, I use nicknames for most folks. Unless that’s too informal for you, sir.”
“Does Shepard let you use a nickname for her?” Kaidan asked.
“Yeah. Lola.”
“Lola? She lets you get away with that?” Kaidan asked. James flushed bright red and Kaidan started laughing. He laughed so hard tears streamed down his face and he couldn’t breathe. Steve let out the breath he was holding and chuckled. Finally, Kaidan got himself under control. “Fuck it. If she lets you get away with Lola, I’m done being so damn formal. Liz never did respect formality anyway. I guess L2 isn’t so bad.”
After that, James got them onto a biotiball tangent. Turns out Kaidan was a Seattle Sorcerer’s fan, like Steve, having grown up not far from their home base. They spent the next hour talking teams, strategies, lamenting the fact that the war had disrupted the normal game schedule. Before long, James spotted a group of friends.
“Well, amigos, I have a chance at a very fine end to my shore leave. I’ll leave you two to find your own way back to the ship,” he said. He started to reach for his credit chit, but Kaidan waived him off.
“My treat tonight, James. Go have a nice evening,” he said. When James had gone, Kaidan looked at Steve. “Well, what next? Stay here for another drink? Or do you have other plans?”
“I, uh. No, no plans. I usually don’t leave the ship much. If I do, I either end up watching the ship traffic near the dock or getting depressed at the memorial wall. I was thinking of hitting a night club, though,” he said.
Kaidan winced. “Night clubs and I don’t really get along. But you’re welcome to go. Don’t let me and my faulty implant stop you,” he said. Seeing Steve hesitate, he added, “Or we could hit my favorite tech store. I got a message this morning they have some new omnitool upgrades.”
He couldn’t help but smile when Steve’s face lit up. “I haven’t gotten an omni upgrade in close to a year. There’s some new software I want to check out, too. Stuff that will help with maintenance on the Kodiak.”
“Well, then, allow me to splurge some Alliance credits on making sure my crew has the best possible equipment,” Kaidan said, making it clear that any purchases were strictly professional. Just a high-ranking officer making sure his crew was outfitted for the war. Dinner had already been a very fine line, one that Kaidan might have been tempted to cross had they not found James before leaving the ship.