Chapter Text
“Unnie, just tell her how you feel.”
Sooyoung stills for a second, but her hands and feet don’t stop moving to the music’s rhythm. She’s currently dancing to her own choreography of a famous hip-hop song while Jungeun sits with her legs sprawled on the floor, leaning back onto her hands.
She keeps her eyes on herself in the wide mirror, not sparing the other girl a glimpse. “Who?”
Jungeun rolls her eyes. “Jinsol unnie.”
At this, Sooyoung completely stops and runs her hand through her medium-length hair. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She looks past herself in the mirror and glances across the back of the practice room, catching sight of Jinsol just as she throws her head back and laughs at something Yerim says to her.
Then, Jinsol just happens to look over her direction and meet Sooyoung’s gaze through the mirror for a brief second. She smiles and gives her a little wave.
Sooyoung returns the wave, swallows, and slowly looks back at Jungeun, who’s watching her with raised eyebrows.
“Anyone with eyes and common sense can tell you have a crush on her.”
“I don’t have a crush on her,” Sooyoung says, and it’s true.
She had a crush on Jinsol for the first hour that she knew her, back when they were trainees and Sooyoung found out they were of the same age.
She had a crush on Jinsol back when she heard the girl sing for the first time and when the then blonde was telling her how she loves to build Legos and Gundams on their living room couch.
Ever since then, she’s been falling in love with her.
Completely different.
“You have my blessing, you know.”
Sooyoung snorts, crouches down, and sits beside Jungeun. “What are you, her mom?”
“No,” she playfully punches the older woman’s shoulder, “but I’m like her little sister.”
“I can see that,” Sooyoung smiles, before hugging her knees together to her chest. “Well, if that’s all, I gotta get back to practicing.”
“She is single, you know, has been for a very long time,” Jungeun adds. “In case you didn’t know.”
“I know.”
“Know what?”
Sooyoung jumps. “Jinsol!”
Jinsol smiles. “Sooyoung!”
“I’m going to go over there to do something, unnie,” Jungeun points.
“No, Jungeun–” Sooyoung calls after her, but she’s already gone, mouthing tell her over her shoulder as she heads out the door.
“What do you know?” Jinsol prompts again.
“Nothing,” Sooyoung says. “Nothing at all.”
“Oh, okay.” A pause. “What are you currently working on?”
Jinsol smells like summer and fruity fabric softener. She’s standing too close. Sooyoung is light-headed.
“New choreo,” she blurts.
“Awesome,” Jinsol says happily. “Do you have something for me?”
Sooyoung makes a loud throat-clearing noise as if she can clear out all the impure thoughts in her brain.
“I don’t have anything for you,” she says.
Not a single feeling.
“Oh,” Jinsol says, and she sounds hurt. “That’s okay. You’re… busy.”
What Sooyoung wants to say is that she’ll always make time for Jinsol.
“Um, I gotta get back to it,” she says instead. “I’ll talk to you later?”
“Right. Of course.” Jinsol backs away from her. “Sorry for bothering you.”
What Sooyoung wants to say is that Jinsol couldn’t bother her even if she tried.
She gives her a half-assed smile instead. “No worries.”
She continues to dance, and through the mirror, she can see Jinsol throwing glances at her from the back of the room for the rest of the day.
++
Later that day, she buys Jinsol dinner and a tub of ice cream (“I have something for you”) to make up for earlier, and Jungeun gives her a knowing look. Sooyoung flips her off behind Jinsol’s back.
++
After their online concert, Jinsol is wiping tears with the back of her hands, and Sooyoung almost tells her.
Because looking at Jinsol with so much emotion in her eyes is making her want to spill her own feelings out.
But then Jinsol throws her arms around her waist and hugs Sooyoung tight, and Sooyoung loses all rational thoughts as she can only hold the girl gently.
She hopes Jinsol doesn’t hear how fast her heart is beating.
++
A few days later, she and Haseul are in the bathroom where they’re waiting to perform their first comeback stage. Sooyoung is sitting up on the counter between the sinks, and Haseul is leaning towards the mirror, reapplying her lipstick.
“You love her, don’t you?”
“Who?”
“Jung Jinsol.”
Sooyoung swings her legs and examines the paper towel dispenser. “I love all of you.”
“That’s really sweet, but not what I meant.” Haseul caps her lipstick and turns to look at Sooyoung. “Why don’t you just go for it? Ask her out?”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Why not?” Sooyoung repeats. “Come on, Seul. It’s Jinsol.” She motions with her hands. Need she really say more?
“Yeah? So?”
“I just can’t, okay? I missed my shot. I should’ve asked her out way back then. Now all this time has passed and it would just be weird.”
Haseul claps her on the shoulder. “Sooyoung, I mean this with love, but you do weird stuff all the time. And Jinsol does too. Both of you are really weird, now that I think about it.”
Sooyoung chuckles and hops off the counter. “Come on, I think our manager’s busting her veins looking for us right now.”
++
In the waiting room, just after their first win, Sooyoung gives a speech about family and love, and she looks at Jinsol when she says the word.
For now, that’s enough.
Perhaps one day she’ll tell her for real.