Chapter Text
^
What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?
With your hair falling into place like dominoes
My mind turns your life into folklore
I can't dare to dream about you anymore.
^
“Mr. Blake, I see we are making our visits a weekly ritual,” Principle Diyoza says as Bellamy steps into her office, a skinny student he’d never seen before running from the office as soon as he steps in. He is used to the other students running the other way when he approaches.
“Only so we can have these wonderful moments together,” he smirks and she rolls her eyes. He has a way of charming his way out of trouble - it always works for him.
“Heard you scared a kid into peeing himself, exposed yourself in the cafeteria, set the janitor’s room on fire,” she sighs throwing the clipboard she was reading from on her desk as she flickers her hard stare at him “And it’s only 10am, that must be a new record for you,” she cocks her head to the side exasperated.
He lets out a small chuckle. Every day at least five crazy things are made up about him and lucky for him principle Diyoza knows most of it is bullshit. “I didn’t do any of those things”
She raises an incredulous brow at him,, crossing her arms across her chest “Any of them?” She always looks so intimidating in her power suits and high pony.
He scoffs rolling his eyes. “The kid peeing himself wasn’t my fault, I just sat next to him on the bleachers.”
“Watching the cheerleaders practice?” she asks accusatory with a playful tone. “Don’t smirk Mr. Blake.”
“I wasn’t watching them practice,” he tries to bite back a smirk as he runs a hand through his curls that are definitely due for a haircut. “Some were watching me, though. Not that I blame them some girls have a thing for dangerous guys.”
Truth be told, he didn't know that the cheerleaders would be practicing today otherwise he would have found another place to read his book, anything to avoid his ex who happens to be cheerleader captain.
“How long are you going to play this character?” the playfulness in her tone has dissipated and that catches him off guard. Honestly Bellamy expected to be hated by the principal. He is sent here more than any other student but for some reason she sees right through the bullshit. She also happens to know a few things that go on in his personal life, and he guesses that is the reason she cuts him a break.
He sighs, trying to seem unaffected. “Play what character?” He is only met with a knowing stare.
“That will be all Mr. Blake” she says exasperatedly.
He nods, leaving the office.
Bellamy decided to play into the character that was enforced on him. He isn’t the school’s heartthrob - no, that would be Ryker, no brains only hair as one of his only two friends Raven would call him. The girls and boys at Arkadia high do swoon over Bellamy though, because they want to be part of his dangerous life not because they actually like him. He’s good looking - even he knows that, and that is why the jocks are intimidated by him.
He is the guy that never smiles, and has a million rumors following him that he doesn’t shut down. Why would he? People stay out of his way and he likes that. He shoves his extra books in his locker when he feels a hand clap on his shoulder “Is that a new shade of black you’ve got over there” Miller teases and Bellamy rolls his eyes. He slams the locker shut and leans on it.
Miller is with another guy Bellamy has never seen before. He is a tall, black guy, clearly a new student. “Yes I call this one Devil black,” he smirks.
“You’re not funny,” Miller sighs, shaking his head. “It wouldn’t kill you to put on another color.” He turns to the new guy. “Gabriel, this is my best friend Bellamy Blake, get used to only ever seeing him in Black. I’m talking black shirt, black jeans…”
“Sometimes black cargo pants - I make them look good.” Bellamy smirks with a wink.
“Like I said… you’re not funny. Black cargo pants and black boots and the black hair makes him look like he is in some biker gang especially when he throws on his black jacket.”
Gabriel's eyes run over Bellamy's body slowly the side of his lip curling up “You look good in black.” Gabriel says, sultry, clearly checking him out.
Bellamy turns to Miller with a raised brow. “Okay then, I’m done here.” Bellamy makes an attempt to leave but Miller stops him. It’s not like he is uncomfortable that a guy was flirting with him. He has dated a guy before - well more of a friend with benefits. Dax wasn’t a relationship guy either. It’s simply that Bellamy doesn’t date. He tried that during the summer and the pieces of his broken heart are still scattered on his driveway where his ex broke up with him.
Speaking of, a wave of blond curls catches his peripheral vision. She walks past him with Ryker’s arm around her shoulder. She’s in her short red and black plaid skirt, black top, ankle boots that draw attention to her beautiful legs and as much as he knows how much she hates him he can’t help but stare.
She stands up on her tiptoes kissing Ryker and he wants to hit a fucking wall. Midway through her kiss she opens her eyes looking at Bellamy over Ryker’s shoulder, taunting him.
He wishes it didn’t get under his skin but it does. Of course she got back together with Ryker, the perfect prince and princess of Acadia high.
Bellamy isn’t particularly sure how or where he expected to fit in. Bellamy was never one for fitting in. He guessed they would be just them, nothing much had to change. He didn’t want to be lifted to her famous stature and he didn’t want to drag her down to his he just wanted them to remain the same.
Even with what went down between them over summer break he can’t refocus his mind to see anything else but her.
He was stupid enough to fall in love with someone that’s unattainable. Bellamy Blake fell in love. That's something that had his friends and little sister laughing - and with Clarke of all people, so he couldn’t help but laugh at himself.
They come from different worlds. She’s rich and looks like a Disney princess, wavy blond hair and big clear blue eyes, and he is the stoic brooding working
class boy from the other side of the tracks.
When he found her in the waiting room that night, vulnerable and broken he didn’t expect that it would lead to him falling in love with her. They found solace in each other and when they were together they felt inevitable but it was just a summer breeze. It all came crashing down. That’s what was actually inevitable.
Ryker's hand slides to Clarke's waist and Bellamy feels his blood turning to ice, he grits his teeth and feels Miller's hand on his arm "let's go" Miller says and they walk away.
Bellamy heads to Jaha's class while Miller escorts Gabriel to Diyoza's office.
***
“So that’s it? You’re not going to tell me his name?” Josie whines as she adds some blush to her cheeks, studying herself in the mirror, clearly in love with what she sees. She glances over at Clarke who is running her fingers through her blond curls making them bigger.
“So you can look him up? No thanks,” she retorts, adding a final coat of lip gloss.
Clarke knows that if she tells Josie the truth, she won’t exactly approve. It’s not that Clarke's ashamed of Bellamy like he accused her of. What is there to be ashamed of? Bellamy is beautiful, he is the boy with constellations in his eyes.
The architecture of his face is enthralling, the perfectly dusted freckles on his tanned skin, his thick dark hair that refuses to be tamed, the cut of his body. She can still feel his deep, rough voice trembling through her body and most of all he is the kindest person she’s ever met. He defines heart of gold and it’s a shame he never lets a lot of people see the Bellamy that she spent nearly three months with, but he is also the boy that broke her. All that’s left is a broken heart from their time together so there is no need to rope other people in.
It’s true that they don’t run in the same circles. He is the dangerous guy who commands attention, attention that he doesn't want - she knows this. But Clarke is the school’s princess, she has the looks and the money so her popularity was guaranteed. That comes with its on cons like everyone thinking you’re shallow and dumb.
Or like some guy taking advantage of you when you’re at your most vulnerable just to prove a point that he can get you in his bed and humiliate you and that’s exactly what Bellamy Blake did even though he denies it and turns it on her that she’s just ashamed he isn’t some rich boy and didn’t want to be seen with him. She hates him, so no, she’s not going to tell anyone about him. Her only friend that knows about her relationship with Bellamy and how much he stomped all over her heart is Murphy
“You had a summer fling, I would like to know who it’s with.” Josie rolls her eyes “Can you blame me?”
Clarke puts on her best plastic smile “Someday Jo.”
She huffs “Fine, Cillian wants to talk before class. I’ll wait for you outside,” Jo says, blowing air kisses as she exists the bathroom.
Clarke takes a much-needed breath as she studies herself in the mirror, swallowing the lump in her throat. This past summer is riddled in soul-crushing memories and Bellamy is one of them. She thought he was the net under the ledge but just when she thought that she was safe he yanked it from under her and she fell, crumpling to the ground.
One of the stall doors open and Clarke immediately takes her sponge dabbing under eyes, masking her scars with the perfect face. Her face drops when she sees who exits the stall with her judging eyes sending daggers at her through the mirror. Raven has always hated Clarke. Since the first grade, she’s spat in Clarke’s face about how she thinks things just come easy to her and it was a given that she wouldn’t approve of Clarke dating Bellamy and she didn’t - and of course she blames the break up on her.
“You didn’t even tell your friends you were dating him…” she says, accusatory, venom clear in her voice. “Typical.” She walks over to the sink still staring at Clarke through the mirror with such disgust it makes Clarke’s blood boil.
“I’m not in the mood Raven, save whatever self-righteous bullshit speech you have planned for someone who gives a shit.” Clarke retorts, picking her bag back off the sink island, turning to face Raven who seems unwavering.
“He deserved better and this just proves it.”
Clarke scoffs at the nerve the brunette has making it seem like everything that happened was her fault. “He betrayed me.”
“He told you he didn’t do it,” she bites, “besides - it’s not like your reputation took a real hit, here you are still running the school.”
Clarke takes slow intimidating steps towards Raven. Blood hot ready for the kill “And that just irks at your soul doesn’t it? That all it did was generate a series of rumors but I’m still standing? What is it Raven, did you love Bellamy but it fucks with your brain that he chose me?... just like Finn.” Clarke says venomous and she knows it’s a little harsh but Raven finds a reason to belittle her every chance she gets. So why not fight back with just as much animosity?.
Clarke is still trying to put herself back together after coming undone and the last thing she needs is one of Bellamy’s best friends blaming everything on her.
Raven purses her lips, chest heaving. She looks like a deer caught in headlights and Clarke wonders if she’s on to something. But before she can read the emotion in Raven’s eyes she glances away from Clarke as she bites the inside of her cheeks. “He is just my friend I care about him,” she says, clearing her voice, flicking her gaze back at Clarke. “Unlike you,” she bites out, swallowing hard, her eyes murderous.
Clarke takes a step back. “I loved him so much…but he broke my heart. It has nothing to do with him not being rich.” Clarke says, her voice wavering. She can see Raven thinking of a comeback but she can’t deal with another cat fight so she turns and walks out the bathroom.
***
The bell sweeps through the school, Bellamy settles in at the back of the class, Miller who’s seated in front of him turns in his chair to face Bellamy. “Are you okay dude?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he says coldly, not looking up from his book.
“Really?”
“I’m fine”
“It must…”
“I said I’m fine…Miller.” Clarke is the last person he wants to talk about and if he could help it, she’s the last person he’d be thinking about. “Where’s your new boyfriend?” Bellamy sets his book on his desk, Miller rolls his eyes forcing Bellamy to let out a light chuckle. “Didn’t go so well?”
“No he’s a nice guy, but he totally checked you out and I don’t think he is interested in me at all.”
“That’s not true, trust me. Are you into him?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, figure it out before the vultures get to him.”
His heart clenches in his chest as soon as Clarke saunters into the class room with her usual clique following behind. He forces himself to look away before she catches him staring again.
“Right. We are meeting Raven for lunch. Don’t bail, you know how she gets.”
“I won’t.”
“I hope you’re all ready to be productive now that you are back.” Jaha’s deep, stoic voice cuts through the class room and everyone falls silent. “Before we get to anything else, I am going to assign you a project, and to make sure there is no slacking off it will be fifty percent of your grade in my class.”
As expected an outburst of murmurs litter the room, Jaha is known for his hard assignments. Bellamy is big on history - it’s his favorite subject so reading and then writing an essay has never been a problem for him. He spares Clarke another glance. She’s talking it over with Josephine whose desk is next to hers.
“Calm down everyone,” Jaha says, leaning against his desk, “I feel like this is a very easy assignment.”
“Yeah right” Murphy scoffs in front of the class eliciting a few laughs some of the students.
“Don’t worry John, even you can’t fail this class,” he teases. “You’re smart when you put your mind to it John so do just that. Arkadia is small but there is so much history here, that is why…” he says, walking around his table retrieving a notebook from his desk drawer and pen from his pocket, “I have here a list. I’ve paired you in twos. You will choose four historical locations in Arkadia, go there, experience it and then write about it. But be creative. I don’t just want the essay, I want a visual of the places you visit, I want passion and initiative so, let’s see who we have here.”
Gaia raises her hand, in the middle row. She’s kind of a history buff from the little Bellamy knows so he guesses she’s not about to complain. “Yes, Gaia?”
“Can we change partners?”
“No you may not. In fact I have chosen the most unlikely of people and paired them together. I want this to be an experience,” he says enthusiastically.
Miller is paired with Murphy which he obviously complains about, Gaia is paired with Monty which she seems pleased with, Harper is paired with Emori and Bellamy zones out for a few seconds so he feels like he just misheard Jaha.
“Mr. Blake and Ms. Griffin” he says simply and goes ahead to pair other people. Bellamy fights the urge to glance Clarke’s way. He wants to punch a fucking wall. He tries to seem like he isn’t affected by the fact that he has to be around his ex, talk to her, work with her, especially since she seems to be repulsed by the idea of being seen with him. Maybe if he told Jaha he would reassign them, or probably not.
He thinks they are an unlikely pairing - well, they are, but they dated for months. He has fucked her right in this class, that may be grounds for reassignment. When he finally wills himself to look at Clarke, she's already staring at him..
****
During lunch Bellamy just wants to skip the rest of the school day and leave this fucking place. Raven is seated across from him on the bench. She is hyper focused on the radio or what used to be a radio but now is some kind of robot on the table. He is on the last sentence of Stephen King’s The night shift when Miller claps his shoulder and settles next to him. Miller flickers his gaze from the book to the bag and lunch Miller throws on the table. “You won’t believe what happened today.” Miller says with so much amusement in his voice it makes Bellamy feel sick. He didn’t tell Raven about being paired with Clarke because he knows she’s going to warn him about her,
“Miller” Bellamy grunts throwing the book on the table, he runs a hand through his hair shooting his best friend a scolding glare.
Miller waves him off. “You didn’t tell her?”
“Tell me what?” Raven asks, less than interested, her eyes still focused on the robot, as she carefully put two wires together and then zap. “Damn it!” she yells.
“What, your little friend doesn’t want to cooperate, Reyes?” Miller teases with a laugh. If it were anyone else, they would probably be on the ground right now with Raven’s foot on their neck but it’s Miller. He wouldn’t be him if he didn’t tease any of them.
Raven huffs, shooting daggers at her project. “I just need it to work perfectly.”
“It will, I know you’re worried about Eligius but you’re gonna get it in,” Bellamy says reassuringly. “You’ll probably be running the damn place one day.”
Raven smiles at that like she always does at his compliments. “Stop it.” she bites her bottom lip, staring at him through her lashes. “Thanks,” she sighs. “Now what’s this big news that I must hear?” she chuckles.
“In Jaha’s Class, we were paired for projects and you won’t believe who got paired with this one right here,” Miller says amusingly, nudging Bellamy’s side with his elbow.
“Gaia, the other annoying history nerd?” Raven chuckles.
“I wish,” Bellamy mutters under his breath. He is cutting his gaze between Miller and Raven. Miller raises his brow at Raven like she should know the obvious person he is referring to and it doesn’t take her long to get it as she crosses her arms across her chest, glaring at him.
“No way, the princess?” Raven asks so disgusted it makes Bellamy feel dirty.
Bellamy shifts uncomfortably in his seat; his blood is bubbling over her annoyance. “Please let’s not make a big deal out of this.”
“She’s your secret popular ex who broke your heart.” Miller whispers, leaning into him a little.
“People break up, it’s not the end of the fucking world,” Bellamy says exasperatedly, picking up his book and pretending to read in hopes that they might just drop the subject.
They don’t.
“Yeah but not everyone keeps their boyfriend a secret just because they think they are beneath them,” Raven reminds him. “Do you know that she didn’t even tell her friends you dated? That’s how much she’s ashamed of you. I heard her talking in the bathroom today.”
Bellamy would be lying if he said that it doesn’t hurt but he should be used to it by now. He has grown up his whole life with people that come from Clarke’s world looking down on him, his family, his friends.
Silence settles among the three. “You know you are just as popular as her and hotter than Ryker, right?” Miller cuts through the silence with an upbeat tone, trying so hard to be the friend that makes everything better.
Bellamy shifts his weight to face Miller, who is stuffing chips in his mouth. “Are you kidding? I’m not in the same league as them.” He glances at Raven who just shrugs and focuses her attention back on Miller, He focuses on Miller again. “I’m feared, there is a difference.”
Miller swallows. “I mean, yeah you are but if you just scowled less, threw on a blue or…” he sighs heavily, “or any other color really you’d be up there. And you’re amazing at basketball and football. You could have been on any of the school teams like coach Pike suggested to you a million times. You would be the IT guy in school.”
“He owns a truck.” Raven reminds them with a Scoff like owning a truck automatically makes you poor. He knows what she means though, his peers like Ryker and Clarke drive some of the most expensive cars out there.
“Hey, I thought you liked my truck.” Bellamy lifts a questioning brow at his friend who rolls her eyes with a little blush creeping in her cheeks.
“I do, it’s a great truck. My point is Ryker and the princess own cars that could buy both our houses combined Bellamy. You joining the basketball team and becoming captain with all the attention on you still wouldn't have made you one of them” she Raven says her face hardened. Bellamy knows the history with Clarke and Raven, and her experience with the rich in general.
Bellamy doesn’t protest. He knows she’s right. He saved up for two years just so he could afford the truck he got. He was sick and tired of his red Toyota that broke down every few miles so he made sure to get a great truck.
“That’s my point, even without the money and all the crazy stories that follow you, which I agree attracts some people. Still, girls and guys wanna fuck you.”
"He doesn't have trouble in that department" Raven reminds lowly.
“Okay enough of that,” Bellamy chuckles at the ludicrous conversation.
Miller throws his hands up in surrender then his face falls when he looks behind Bellamy and a smirk appears on his lips.
Bellamy already knows who is behind him. He closes his eyes for a second to gather himself then he turns in his seat.
“Clarke,” he says nonchalantly as he faces her.
She adjusts her Prada bag, tucking a hair behind her ear. He can tell she’s avoiding Ravens glare. “Can we talk?”
Raven scoffs. “Aren’t you scared your worm for brains crew will see you with him?”
“I wasn’t talking to you Raven. Why don’t you just play with your little toys while the grownups talk?” she says icily. She sneers at Clarke, then back to Bellamy. “Somewhere that isn’t here,” Clarke says, turning, her hair swaying dramatically as she walks away.
Raven scoffs rolling her eyes, Bellamy smiles apologetically at Raven, picking his bag and swinging it across his chest before following behind Clarke.
~~~~
Clarke has to remind herself that she can’t falter, not in front of Bellamy. This is the man that has a hold on her heart and has crawled his way under her skin no matter how much she has tried to shake him off.
He’s staring at her expectantly, leaning against a wall, hands shoved in his pocket. “I know what you’re going to say,” he says nonchalantly.
Clarke bites her bottom lips, crossing her arms against her chest defensively. “And what is that?”
“That this is strictly about the project.”
“Yeah… So...”
“And let me guess, you tried to change partners already?”
“No,” she lies.
He scoffs. “Fine. Just so you know I don’t want this anymore than you do.”
There is a beat of silence.
“God…” she taunts, shaking her head in incredulity. “You’re such an asshole.”
Bellamy leans off the wall taking a step towards her, his face hardened. “I’m the asshole?” he asks, dazed. “I’m an asshole for letting you know that I’m not ecstatic about spending time with you princess? Not everyone wants to bow at your fucking feet like you think,” he bites. He is so close she can feel his breath on her skin and she hates that her body still responds to him the way it’s doing. It craves his touch, his lips on hers.
“I believe you…” tsk “You already got what you wanted from me, I’m one of the girls foolish enough to end up in your bed and be left with nothing but regrets. Let’s just get the project over and done with.”
Something flashes in his eyes, hurt? What does he have to be hurt about?
“I’ll be at Sinclair’s garage after school, I leave around seven. Come any time before that and we can figure out…” he sighs, “all the details,” he says and walks away.
Clarke finally feels like she can breath once Bellamy is gone.
Clarke is used to faking a lot of things, like being on all the time, and faking that she's fine when she isn't but one thing she's finding impossible to fake is that she is no longer in love with Bellamy or that what he did to her didn't break whatever was left inside of her.
∆
