Work Text:
If you built yourself a myth
You'd know just what to give
What comes after this
Momentary bliss
The consequence
Of what you do to me
Help me to name it
Help me to name it
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Obi-Wan had felt the emergency deep in his bones.
Padmé was pregnant - it didn’t take any remarkable intelligence to realize that she was ready to give birth - and there was an energy flowing through the air that screamed at Obi-Wan to hurry and get her somewhere safe. At most, the pregnancy could have only been about seven or eight months, and while Padmé did not appear to be in labour while he held her, it was undoubtedly the baby inside that was creating such a fuss in the Force.
“Just hold on,” he whispered to his friend as the ship sailed towards space.
Babies, plural, and Obi-wan couldn’t believe it. There was barely any time to think as he had rushed the senator to the medical facility and let the droids tend to her. But Padmé was dying, and there was an unpleasant thrum in the Force when the droids helped induce the birthing process.
But Obi-Wan kept strong and soothed Padmé as she fought through her labour. She squeezed his hand and cried, and her suffering rippled in the air around the room, and Obi-Wan wished more than anything that he knew how to comfort beyond his presence. He pushed her sweaty hair from her face and whispered praises, knowing that was what Anakin would do.
It was then that the sound of crying filled the room, and suddenly the droid thrust a baby in his arms. Delicate and pink and fresh, it was the baby of his friends, his family.
“Luke,” she whispered, and Obi-Wan looked back at the child.
It felt wrong to hold something so small and pure, while he himself still smelled of fire and ash and sweat, his robes burned and his body aching from a fight that was not yet hours old. The threat of tears stung behind his eyes and he breathed deeply as Padmé pushed again. Obi-wan had always known she was strong, but in this moment, he was certain there was nothing Padmé couldn’t have done.
It was hard to register what the droid told him as it showed the second child, a little girl, so small and precious, and the Jedi leaned forward to speak.
“It’s a girl,” he said gently.
“Leia.”
Luke and Leia. He echoed their names in his head over and over and over like prayer, and because he was making a promise, an oath, that he would love them unconditionally and see to their safety until his last day.
When Padmé took her last breath, Obi-Wan felt her leave, and he stood silent for several minutes, holding the squirming bundle in his arms as he watched her relaxed features. Exhaustion seeped through the Jedi’s spirit and he felt truly defeated for the first time in many, many years. Padmé, of course, didn’t deserve any of the wrongs she had faced. She had done nothing but love and support and lead those around her with a strong heart and a kind warmth that attracted friends and family. Anakin was no fool for falling in love with her, and Obi-Wan knew with every part of his being that she would have been a perfect mother.
As a last goodbye, he leaned down and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead, and wished her all that was good in her soul’s journey to whatever laid beyond.
Droids filled the room to cover her body and Obi-Wan was tasked with holding both children, if only for a few minutes before Bail entered and took Luke, his eyes glassy and a little red as he glanced between the babies and the sheet now covering the senator.
“Master Yoda wishes to speak to us.”
Somebody had whisked the twins away while a meeting took place between Bail, Yoda, and Obi-Wan himself, and there was a long conversation about the Jedi’s termination and the clone army’s involvement, and something about chips and a Sith plot, but Obi-Wan couldn’t stop thinking about the children, how they had looked in his arms as he cradled them close to his ash covered tunic. An instant connection flew between them, and never before had the man felt such an ache to father children himself. Of course, the Order had been his one calling all his life, and marriage was frowned upon and children of your own was unheard of, and Obi-Wan certainly had his hands full from a young age training Anakin, but the way the babies had felt in his arms was undeniably right, and the Jedi wished more than everything that he could raise the two himself, but on that thought, it was agreed that the twins were to be split up and hidden.
It was a mild assurance of Leia’s security, knowing that Bail and Breha would take on the role of her parents, and Obi-Wan had yearned for Master Yoda to tell him that he could take Luke, but insisted instead that he be brought to Tatooine to the last of Anakin’s family.
Travels would take place the day after, and it was only in the late evening that Obi-Wan finally had a moment to himself to process. He stood at the foot of the two bassinets housing the twins, and watched their sleeping forms breathing quietly in the low light. The droids would watch the babies overnight, but Obi-Wan couldn’t help but feel that if they cried or wailed, the cold skin of a droid would not soothe them back to sleep. So Obi-Wan pulled up a small steel case and sat next to them, and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. He wouldn’t let himself think too hard about Anakin now, because he simply couldn’t spare the energy to acknowledge what had happened during the last day, the loss and the grievance of everyone held dear to the Jedi, gone in an instant. The disturbance of death still echoed in the Force, and left a large empty feeling where Obi-Wan could usually feel the warmth and signature of his friends and associates. Eyelids heavy, it was difficult to ward off sleep, and the redhead drifted into light slumber, the reverberations of passing still wafting though his mind.
It was with a start that Obi-Wan woke again a few hours later, to the sounds of horrible crying. His hand had instinctively reached for the saber hanging from his belt, but there was no threat, only the sobs from the crib next to him. Standing, the Jedi leaned over to see Luke still fast asleep, but Leia kicked furiously at the blanket she was wrapped in, her tiny fingers clenching at nothing as her red face scrunched with cries.
A droid hovered nearby, but Obi-Wan quickly waved it away, scooping up the baby himself instead.
“They were fed while you rested.” The droid offered, resuming its post near the doorway.
“Hello,” he whispered to the baby, who squirmed and whimpered in his arms. She blinked through tears and cried again, and Obi-Wan bounced her gently, cradling her close to his heart. Humming came naturally as he tried to soothe her distress, thinking of old songs that the Padawans heard at the youngest of ages. Obi-Wan had never had much experience with the near-toddler-ages, when most children were brought to be trained, as he had acquired Anakin as a Padawan when he was quite a bit older than the regular, but clearly, whatever Obi-Wan was doing helped, as Leia’s loud cries softened to gentle hiccups and whimpers. He smiled and gently stroked away tear streaks with his thumb.
“Yes, that’s it. You’re quite alright, you’ll be alright.” Her eyes were wide open, staring up at him, and he clenched his jaw and thought of how he may never see her again after this night. The tears came quickly then, for the first time since all that had happened, and Obi-Wan sat once again on the crate, holding Leia close to him as his body raked with silent sobs.
This surprisingly did not jolt Leia into crying again, but Obi-Wan clutched her and held his head to hers. “I’m sorry,” he said to no one in particular, for he was sorry for everything - the losses and the secrets and the grief, and because Luke and Leia would grow up with no knowledge of each other, he was sorry for all his friends - Mace and Cody and Kit and Plo and Ahsoka and the list went on, and because he failed Padmé, who would never grow old and watch her children thrive, and he was sorry for Anakin, who he had failed and beaten and left, because there was nothing else he could’ve done. Obi-Wan cried until he was certain there were no tears left in his body, and Leia was fast asleep in his arms.
And when the Jedi fell asleep once more, tears dried on his cheeks and in his beard, he held Anakin and Padmé’s daughter in one arm, securly against his body, and his other hand reached inside the crib, resting against their son.
When the morning rose, Bail came for Leia. She fussed as Obi-Wan bid her a last goodbye before handing her over to the senator, who looked exhausted but had a spark of joy in his eyes as he wrapped gentle hands around his new daughter. If there were any man the Jedi knew who could be trusted with such a task, it was Bail Organa.
“May the Force be with you.” The senator bowed his head, and Obi-Wan watched them go, his spirit breaking just a little more. But Leia would be safe and loved and grow up well, and there was still Luke.
The boy was quieter than his sister, and had barely cried since the birth. His eyes were closed when Obi-Wan scooped him into his chest, and left for his flight to the desert planet of Tatooine.
It was hard to put the boy down after picking him up, and Obi-Wan had spent the entirety of hyperspace pacing with Luke in the crook of his elbow. He tried feeding him, which was messy and difficult to begin as Luke had not wanted to latch to the bottle, but eventually they got it and Obi-Wan found he enjoyed watching the baby making funny faces as he slurped the formula eagerly. If Anakin had been there, he might have made a joke to tease his Master, like, "He drinks like you after a council meeting.” Because those were the jokes they shared, but Anakin was not there, and Obi-Wan would never hear one of his quips again.
After they landed on the planet, it was a few hours ride on an eopie from the landing strip, and it was better to reach the Lars’ before sundown, as a camp would be a terrible place to attempt to have Luke spend the night. The twin suns were already beginning their descent to the horizon, and to avoid the dusty sands, Obi-Wan wrapped the baby under his cloak, using one hand to steady Luke and the other to control the eopie’s reins.
With them were small bags with a few materials, like clothes and books, but it would be a barren life in the desert for the rest of the Jedi’s life - a sacrifice he would make to see the Skywalker twins’ safety.
Obi-Wan couldn’t help humming quiet songs under his breath as he had the night before to Leia, and gently soothed Luke when he cried and stopped to feed him twice, before the suns were kissing the ridges in the distance and the sky danced with shades of orange and pink, and just ahead was the moisture farm.
It came naturally to the redhead to look around for where he could watch the house from a distance, and there were some small, rocky hills some ways away, where with scopes, Obi-Wan would certainly be able to watch the child.
When the eopie dropped to its knees and Obi-Wan climbed off, he suddenly realized that if he spoke, he would cry, so it was a wordless farewell as he pulled Luke from his robe, revealing the white, blanketed bundle to Beru, who smiled kindly as she took the baby. A semblance of understanding shot between them in brief eye contact, and without a word, she turned on her heel and left.
And the mountain did prove to be a place that Obi-Wan frequented, where he watched Luke grow and learned first to crawl and then walk, often coming outside with his aunt while she went about her tasks. His hair grew quickly into a sandy blonde mop, and if Obi-Wan squinted, it was like Anakin was there again, just a child and full of potential. The sun and the grief grayed the Jedi quickly, and he grew lonely and sad in his solitude, but every day, he walked up to the ridge with his scopes and watched to get a glimpse of the child. Sometimes he camped up there at night, when he felt a disturbance in the Force. There were times when he could hear Luke crying, for hours, inconsolable, and his whole body ached to go and soothe the pain and sadness away, but Owen and Beru loved him as their own, and always cared for him, and taught him well as he grew to read and write and tinker with gadgets and small droids.
Obi-Wan never had children of his own, and Luke and Leia would not know the lengths he went to for their protection nor how much he cared for them, and he wished dearly he had more time with them, but years later, when the twins were at long last reunited and Obi-Wan took his final breath, he knew he had kept his promise - he had loved them unconditionally and seen to their safety until his last day.
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You can't keep hangin' on
To all that's dead and gone
If you built yourself a myth
You'd know just what to give
Do you lie?
Oh, let the ashes fly
Help me to name it
Help me to name it