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Noya loved the Karasuno school uniforms. No really, he did.
They were black and sleek-looking with a gakuran instead of a blazer, super cool and stylish, the girls’ uniforms only adding to the pot with their sheer cuteness, especially on his precious Kiyoko-san. Whenever Noya told people the main reason he chose Karasuno over any other school in the prefecture, they looked at him as if he was a lunatic but come on!
Now, as cool as they were, the uniforms had a downside to them. One major design flaw-
“Out of my waaay!”
Students hurried to step aside as an agitated Noya toppled through the door of the boy’s bathroom. Most of them knew better than to ask what was going on this time. Without further ado, Noya turned on his heel and dashed down the hallway, not quite as fast as lightning with how his wobbly legs struggled to support his weight. Not fast enough, his brain reminded him by sending a few more violent pangs to his abdomen, forcing him to stop and jam his hands between his thighs with a groan. Stupid uniforms, he thought, betraying his usual enthusiasm about their design. Stupid uniforms and their stupid fucking belts.
Said belt was all too eager to dig into his overfull bladder right at this moment and neither bending over nor bouncing on the spot helped him deal with the agonizing pressure. It only made it worse. Fine, maybe he had a bit too much coffee during break and that water bottle during science class. And the bubble tea. And the glass of juice he had downed at breakfast. And that extra can of soda from the vending machine after the math exam he sadly f-
Oh fuck, how was all of that still inside of him?
Though, at the moment, deciding to be grateful for his body’s abilities instead of questioning them seemed like the better choice. He could think about that later when he wasn’t feeling like there was a raging storm in his bladder, holy shit-
Halfway to his destination, he’d gone from sprinting to jogging to stiff-legged walking until his gait could’ve only been described as a pathetic shuffle. With all the strength he had left, Noya tore open the door of class 1.2, almost ripping it off its hinges in a blind panic.
“Ryuu!” His cracked voice echoed through the room, a few students looking at him with shock and confusion plastered onto their faces. Among them, his best friend and partner in crime leaped up from his desk, their eyes meeting from all the way across the room.
“Noya-san!” Ryu made his way over to him without hesitating, instantly scanning him for injuries. He must’ve looked hurt for real with how he was leaning against the doorframe, clutching his groin with a pained expression, shaking from how ungodly bad he had to take a leak, and oh no, was that an actual leak he’d felt just now? No no, that couldn’t be!
“Did someone mess with you in class?” Ryu’s eyes darkened and he brought his fists up to crack his knuckles. “Tell me his name and I’m gonna punch that fucker into oblivion.”
“No time for talking!”, Noya pressed out between clenched teeth and grabbed Ryu’s wrist with the hand he didn’t need to pinch himself shut, not commenting on Ryu’s endearing offer to avenge him, “I’m about to flood this whole freaking hallway in a second!”
“You’re about to what?”
Fortunately, Ryu was more of a doer than a thinker, which worked in Noya’s favor. He didn’t have to go to great lengths to explain what had made him have to pee so badly when he usually had no issue holding it for a long time. Why he needed Ryu’s help and why he hadn’t been able to get his belt off and why he couldn’t just tear down his zipper because the stupid belt was sitting right on top of the button he needed to undo and- shit shit shit!
“God, Ryu, you have no idea how bad I have to go, I’m seriously dying!”, he voiced his panic and frustration as they arrived back in the boy’s room, the sign of the empty stalls and urinals tormenting him more than all the water sprinklers in the world could. He gave the belt one more sharp tug, hoping that maybe now that he had his friend with him the curse would be lifted and he could finally pee, and oh how great would that feel! Just let it all-
“Agh!” Tears sprung to his eyes as he wiggled in place, both hands flying between his legs again but that wasn’t enough to stop the spurts dampening his boxers. For a millisecond he considered feeling ashamed of how unmanly he was acting, fidgeting like a three-year-old and nearly crying, but he brushed it aside. There was no time to feel sorry for himself.
“Sheesh!”, Ryu looked around the room before shrugging and stepping at Noya’s side, “It’s the belt again, isn’t it? I’m sorry but what the fuck have you done to that thing this time?”
“I don’t knoow!”, Noya almost wailed, hips jerking from side to side as the muscles in his abdomen kept contracting, almost as if his bladder was a dish sponge being squeezed, over and over again. Yeah, maybe he had pulled it a bit too tight this morning. He wasn’t too small or too skinny, they made those pants too baggy! On another note, he would’ve preferred drowning in his oversized school pants and looking like a loser as opposed to pissing his pants in front of a perfectly fine urinal and looking like even more of a loser.
“Hey, we better take care of this in a stall, okay?” Ryu broke his chain of misplaced self-deprecating thoughts, fearful eyes shifting to the door that was still closed but wouldn't be for long, “I don’t want people to barge in all willy-nilly and get the wrong idea.”
“Don’t care as long as I can piss!” Noya shook his head to underline his statement and didn’t fight back as Ryu nudged him towards the nearest stall with a long-suffering sigh.
The door locked with a satisfying click, making Noya whine with need, relief so near but yet so far out of reach. “Hurry!”, he breathed, his chest aching and tight with anxiety he hadn’t felt in a long long time. “Just do that thing you did the last time.” Granted, the last time he’d been mildly uncomfortable, not panicking and near delirious from desperation, but...Ryu had fixed it. Ryu was good at fixing things. He would never, never let him down.
“Okay, I know this is asking a lot but you absolutely need to stop squirming.” Noya cringed at his order. “And you need to move your hands. Both of them.” Noya cringed at that even harder, the mere thought of giving up his only safety net against the incoming disaster was too much. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t let go. He needed to keep pinching and squeezing with all of his might, do everything in his power to not pee all over himself and the floor tiles. Ryu was asking the impossible. And yet, what freaking choice did he have?
“You have ten seconds.” He yanked his hands back before he could change his mind, holding his breath and clenching every muscle in his body. It hurt. He was shivering with the strain, teeth sinking into his lower lip that he kept gnawing on to feel something other than the excessive throbbing of his bladder. Three seconds in. Seven seconds left. He closed his eyes to not have to look at the toilet anymore, feeling Ryu’s hands around his waist nestling with the buckle of his misbehaving belt. Easy, he could do this. Just hold on-
Nine seconds over. One second left. Oh no. Noya’s eyes flew open against his will, dread pooling in his gut as he took in the fact that nothing had changed. At all. His belt was still in place, his pants zipped up. The toilet was still tormenting him, enticing him with the promise of sweet sweet relief, and to his horror, his already worn-out muscles started to slacken.
“Ahh, Ryu! I-I don’t want to rush you but if you don’t hurry the fuck up I’m gonna piss on myself and all over your hands! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” At this, Ryu made a panicky sound, still doing whatever he was doing but with his actions getting more uncoordinated and repetitive. He was trying his best, obviously, he always did, but this time, it wasn't enough.
“Look, I’m sorry Noya-san, but this isn’t working.” His words made Noya’s heart skip a beat and his world turn monochrome, “I’m gonna go get pliers from Kinoshita. That dude has a whole tool kit in his school desk. Just wait here for ten minutes and we’ll get this d-”
“No!” Once again, Noya grabbed onto the sleeve of Ryu’s gakuran, voice heavy with sobs and whines that had fought his way up to his throat. His death grip on his groin returned but this time, there was nothing to gain from it. Nothing. No relief or illusion of security. He couldn’t wait for ten minutes when even ten seconds had pushed him to his limits. “Don’t leave! Please, I’m so close to- Please, please I need it so bad, don’t leave me here!”
And now he was straight-up begging. How much lower could he sink?
“Look, I know you have to go but I swear I’ll go as fast as I-”
“Ryu, I can't hold it!”
There it was.
At this point, the bathroom had filled with students washing their hands or peeing in the urinals or whatever, the noises, the freaking noises were all the same to him. The torturous trickling of water, the splashing, and pouring, and gushing and hissing, the tiny, almost shy sighs of relief-
“Noya-san, are you- are you seriously about to-”
Oh, for fuck’s sake-
With a rabid cry, Noya broke free from Ryu’s grasp, hands back on his belt as his muscles gave in without warning. He couldn’t hold it. He really couldn’t. He was about to piss himself in a bathroom stall right in front of his best friend. Warmth flooded the entire front of his boxers, a messy trickle running down his thigh, his stream picking up in pace and turning into a geyser-
And then with another click, the belt fell loose, button coming undone with it.
How Noya had managed to tear down his zipper with his shaky fingers bordered on a miracle, a lucky shot that happened once a lifetime and never again but oh, it was so worth it.
“Yeesss!”, he breathed out with a strangled, almost maniacal laugh, pure unfiltered happiness flooding all of his senses as he unleashed a tsunami into the bowl, “I got it! Ryu, I got it! I fucking got it! Take that, you stupid belt!” His shoulders shook from how much he was laughing and panting, almost messing up his aim as he rejoiced like a child getting the best birthday present in history. How ironic was it, that he’d ended up not even needing Ryu’s help?
“Ahh, that feels good!” The laughter turned into groans, eyes glazing over and filling with fresh tears, the old ones leaving wet streaks down his face. “This is- I-I can’t believe it.”
“Could you tone it down a little? You’re being awfully loud.” That sounded like an odd suggestion coming from his buddy who was just as prone to being scolded by Daichi-san for yelling as he was. Noya’s head whipped around, one hand propped up on the wall so he wouldn’t fall should his knees give up on him. Ryu was leaning against the door with not much space between them, arms crossed as he looked anywhere but at him and- was he blushing?
“I got it,” Noya repeated, a wide, toothy grin splitting his cheeks, the pleasure of relief making him giddy and woozy and shutting off even more sections of his brain. “I won.”
“Yeah, by solving a problem you created yourself.” Ryu rolled his eyes but didn’t sound angry. There was even a certain rough, very Ryu-like fondness in his voice. Noya beamed at him in response. His day had started awful with his alarm clock going off an hour too late, a failed math test his teacher would chew him out for, then suffering indescribable agony and almost pissing himself in front of a toilet- and...now he got to experience so much bliss and satisfaction at once. Did it really come as a surprise that he couldn’t stop smiling?
“I can’t believe there’s still something in there,” Ryu said in awe after they’ve been more or less forced to huddle in the same stall, the hissing and splashing of Noya’s release the most prominent noise in the small space, “Didn’t that hurt? How did you not explode yet?”
At this, Noya shot him a prideful, sluggish grin, still riding on the high of his relief but now much more drained, both physically and mentally. “Bladder of steel I guess.” He shrugged which turned into a delightful, full-body shiver that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Well, the hair that wasn’t already standing up with the aid of large amounts of hair gel.
“So…did you drink more than usual, or how did that happen? You aren’t sick or anything, right?”
“Nah, just too many drinks. Let’s see. One big cup of coffee, a water bottle, bubble tea, a glass of juice at home, a can of melon soda-” he counted all the beverages, stopping as he remembered how Hinata had once outright admitted he avoided that particular soda brand because it made him “run to the bathroom every five minutes”. He chuckled to himself, quietly this time. His throat hurt from all the yelling and he didn’t want to risk losing his voice. After all, he had plenty of yelling to do at volleyball practice this afternoon.
“Wow.” Now Ryu sounded even more impressed and a little scared. “You’re defying the laws of physics.”
“I know. That’s kind of my thing, isn’t it?”
____
“Thanks for helping me, buddy. I owe you big time,” Noya said as he left the stall, feeling floaty-light and heavy at the same time. So what if his underwear was as soaked as a mop after cleaning the gym floor? That’s why he kept a spare pair in his locker room. After all, he had the tendency to tear up his clothes a lot whenever he engaged in physical activities.
“But I didn’t do anything? You ripped that thing off on your own.” Ryu gave him a puzzled look, prompting Noya to let out a roaring laugh and playfully punch his shoulder.
“It’s the spirit that matters.” He followed up his words with another one of Sugawara’s special moves, then a hip bump and a slap on the back. Ryu winced but said nothing. He winced even more when they spotted a familiar face at one of the sinks they were walking towards. The guy, blonde, bespectacled and lanky turned his head to shoot them a sharp glare.
“Oh, hey! Tsukki! What’s up?” Noya didn’t hesitate to wave to his fourth-favorite kohai, ignoring the scandalized look he ended up receiving. “You won’t believe what just-”
“I don’t want to know,” he spat out the words like rotten milk, face twisting and flushing a deep shade of red, “I don’t care what stuff you guys are into so please be so kind and leave me out of it.” He shuddered as he wiped his dripping hands on a paper towel, not sparing the duo a single glance. The sound of a door slamming shut indicated his final departure.
“I told you you were being too loud.” Ryu side-eyed him before heading to the sink their younger teammate had been using a moment ago to wash his own hands. “I think you have- er, ruined his innocence.”
“Ah well, it was worth it,” Noya said, skipping over to the very same sink. It felt right after where they came from, even if Ryu hadn’t peed in the stall with him. “Dude needs to stop being so uptight and loosen up a little. Nothing wrong with taking a leak with your bro.”
“Hah, I’m not sure he’d agree with that. Urinals are one thing but the same stall? That is kind of strange.”
“Aww, come on!” Noya waved him off with his soapy hand, a few suds landing on Ryu's sleeve. “I bet he and Tadashi did the same thing when they were kids. You know, before Tsukki got all grumpy and stuff.”
“Pretty sure he’s always been grumpy,” Ryu replied with an amused grin, “I can’t imagine him being into sword fighting and all the stuff I did with my friends in grade school.”
“His loss then.” Noya shrugged, chuckling. “He doesn’t know how to have a good time.”
“No offense,” Ryu started, still sounding in awe, “But two minutes ago you were crying because you were about to piss your pants. How can you be so...so chill after that?”
“Ah, right.” Noya’s cheeks heated up the slightest bit, stomach tying into a knot. Having it spelled out to him made the whole situation feel strangely real, not as if the whole dilemma had happened to a stranger he was detached from. Fair enough, that hadn’t been his proudest moment and most people would probably be more embarrassed than he was. Then again, aside from his underwear being all waterlogged, what was the big deal?
“I guess that was kind of lame, but hey, we’ve all done lame things before. As long as we don’t get all hung up on it, who cares? It’s not that important.” It sounded like a mere phrase to make himself feel better, but no, it wasn’t. That one time Asahi had dropped his food tray in the school’s cafeteria, Noya had also found his agonizing about it much more uncool than his moment of clumsiness, one that most people had forgotten about the next day.
“It's amazing how you can do all that and still be cooler than me or any other guy I know.”
“You’re cool too, Ryu,” Noya countered with fervor. “For being there for me and putting up with all of my bullshit. I think that’s a pretty cool thing on its own.” Now it was Ryu’s fist that collided with his shoulder, a hearty laugh filling the room soon joined by another one.
They left the bathroom joined at the hip, still smiling, cracking jokes, and reminiscing about all the embarrassing things their peers had done in the past. Things that were equally as, or more embarrassing than what Noya had done. They talked about how Hinata had called his English teacher “mom” twice, how Kageyama had gotten his arm stuck in a vending machine, how Tsukki had forgotten his glasses on his forehead and walked into a glass door...things that happened but no one talked about anymore. Because they didn’t matter.
With that, the rest of the lingering awkwardness between the two friends vanished as if it had never existed in the first place. Life was too short to get upset over a little pee or a few tears.