Archive of Our Own

Wait, what?

Chan can feel his heart rate pick up as he peels his eyes open (whoof, he's dehydrated) and is immediately confronted with the angelic features of another young man- a little younger than himself, he thinks, if not by much. When he tries to wriggle away, though, both all his muscles protesting in unison and the man's arm reaching out to flop over him keep him very still. The man- alpha, echoes his hindbrain, alpha safe good need alpha- grumbles and tugs him closer again, and Chan is powerless to resist. Not that he really wants to, once the alpha plays his fingers over Chan's neck and he becomes very, very aware of the fact that there's really no going back, now.

Chan is bound. He's gone through his heat cycle, just as promised, and the alpha in bed with him claimed him. Among the dull soreness of his whole body is a sharper sensation of pain in his shoulder where he's been bitten to seal it. Through the fog of confused memory, he does remember a deep, calm voice talking him through it. He's pretty sure it's attached to this alpha.

This alpha, who is snuffling now as he wakes, his nose wrinkled, shadows revealing the faintest little sunspots on his cheeks. Artificial ship-light leaves every long-term occupant pale as bone, but they did have shore leave a few months back, before-

Before.

Chan stays still and quiet, a little apprehensive and a little ashamed at his own helplessness. He knows the post-heat care brochure they gave him backwards and forwards, but nothing compares to actually being nearly immobile and dependent on another human being.

Thankfully, the alpha just smiles when he opens his eyes to see Chan already awake. "Hey, baby," he says, and yeah, that voice. Even without the alpha intonation, it makes Chan melt, sending dizzying sparks up his spine. His body remembers, if nothing else, remembers being stretched open wider than he could ever have conceived of and filled until he was satisfied. Remembers this alpha's hands on his hips, treating him like he was precious and special and important.

Chan licks his dry lips with his dry tongue. He's not quite sure what he should do, what he should say. "...Alpha?" he tries, because he's pretty sure that's correct at least.

"Yeah, baby, alpha's here." His voice has to be that rough and lovely from sleep, Chan can't take it otherwise. "You feeling okay? I think hurting woke me up, though I'm not sure if it was mine or yours."

Yeah, okay, that tracks. Chan blinks. He doesn't really have a reason to lie, even if he doesn't even remember his alpha's name. Why can't he remember?

"Mine, maybe," he says absently, searching through memories of this last chaotic week to make sure he really has no idea what his assigned alpha's name is. Nothing. Just fuzzy, frenetic preparation, and then fuzzy, frenetic heat. "I, uh. Hurts."

"I'm sorry," says the alpha, expression softening. "Do you think you'll be okay if I get you some water and pain meds? I can give you a massage too, I know you worked so hard."

This feels so much like an odd fever dream, after the clinical treatment and low-level distress he's been living with for the past month after he got the Letter. He's naked in bed with someone who cares about his comfort, who wants him to feel okay, offers to give him a damn massage and praises him for...well. Something he didn't have a choice in, something he's come to terms with, but something he never wanted in the first place. His eyes feel hot, but gods, he's so parched he doesn't know if he could cry if he wanted to. "Yeah," he says, throat clicking, because his alpha is clearly waiting for a response. "Please. 'M thirsty."

"Of course, baby," his alpha says, kisses his forehead and shifts up to move away, and gods, it does something to him. He's flooded with a foreign feeling of love, first, which is strange enough, and then a double-whammy of pure panic when his alpha is no longer touching him. A humiliating sound comes from his throat, something strangled and terrible, and Chan shoves himself upright despite the pain because his instincts are screaming that his alpha is going to leave him and never come back, leave him and his pups-

The movement jostles his stomach and hips, and he's suddenly very aware of what hurts most. One grasping hand falls on his startled alpha's arm, which is good, because if he has to endure that pain of separation on top of the pain of being so utterly raw and bloated he might die. He squeezes his eyes shut, feels two hot tears run down his cheeks, tries to breathe through the sensation of stretched between his legs that makes him want to cry and vomit. He's collapsed half on his side, shaking, and hates himself for how he can't move. It hurts.

"Oh, baby. My silly omega." A shudder runs through him, but his alpha's voice is the most soothing thing he's ever heard. It quickly transitions to the most soothing thing he's ever felt, because he keeps talking as he moves Chan like a ragdoll, strong hands coaxing him to lay against a pile of pillows, hips elevated and spread, but Chan is so far beyond humiliation at this point he doesn't care. "Just like this for a second, okay? Then I'll take you with me to get what you need." That foreign sensation of emotion comes again, too, sweet bubbles of affection popping up in his chest.

"Okay," he rasps once he has the breath for it. The alpha beams at him, affection intensifying, and, oh. That's what that is. That's the bond, that's what his alpha's feeling when he looks at him. His alpha who is safe-mine-Felix, engraved on the bond like his own name of beautiful-mine-Chan.

Oh boy.

His hips jump involuntarily when his alpha- Felix- touches. He whines, and Felix soothes his free hand through his hair. It feels good, so Chan lets himself subside, endures how Felix pokes and prods gently at his exposed cunt and the object stuffed within. One nudge is hard enough to shift the thing oddly, and he whimpers, but Felix just sends approval-praise, and Chan can do anything if he gets to feel that again, like real sun rays on his skin the couple times he's been on-planet.

"Good boy," Felix says eventually, melting Chan further, oh gods, is this what his alpha's pride is going to feel like forever? He could get used to this. "I know it hurts, but you don't seem to be torn anywhere and you're a normal size for the first morning post-breeding. Just let me take care of you. I promise you're in good hands."

"Okay," he breathes. What else is he going to say? The pain has faded back to a low-level ache, and as long as Felix doesn't start to leave him behind, he'll be fine. Probably. He even feels a little sleepy again, though he doesn't want to fall asleep again until he gets some water. Gods, he's so thirsty. "Water?"

"Of course, darling." Felix presses a kiss to his forehead, making Chan flush bright to the tips of his ears, and wow, he's so careful when he slides his hands under Chan's ass to pick him up like a child on his hip. The position takes a little shifting to get comfortable, with his belly pressed into Felix's, but it lets Chan touch as much as he wants and doesn't put too much pressure on his sore groin, so he buries his face into Felix's neck as he walks and breathes in the scent there, sweet for an alpha, with undertones of dragonsblood and other spice. It's interesting. Felix is interesting. Despite how he feels about all this, Chan thinks it's not quite as bad as it could be.

Felix just keeps being tooth-achingly sweet in the kitchen, adapting to having one hand to work with fairly easily and without a word of complaint, though Chan knows he's heavy and that he's only gotten heavier on the diet they've been feeding him. Either way, soon Chan has a glass of water he's capable of gripping with his shaky hands, and he chugs it down, then another. He must have lost a lot of fluids in sweat and slick and come, because he drains the glass halfway once more before pushing it away. His stomach is a little uncomfortable and too-full with the sudden shock, but now, suddenly, Chan is hungry, too. Did he eat at all, in that terrible heat-fog? Who knows. He's starving.

Felix coos and kisses his ear, and Chan shivers when he whispers, "It's okay, just pace yourself, baby. Don't make yourself sick." Now that his throat doesn't feel like gluey sandpaper all over, Chan shakes his head, opens his mouth, and hesitates. Felix has thus far been kind to him, if...detached from the reality of the situation. How far can he push, what can he ask for, before Felix becomes just another person assigned to make sure the breeder functions as it should? He's heard how Doctor Park talks about him, behind closed doors. He knows that he's not a person, anymore.

The smell of rich spice floods his nose, and before Chan knows it he's bent his neck. Felix is growling a little, settled back against the counter with one hand around Chan's waist and the other gripped tight high on his shoulder, just touching the inflamed bite mark so he shudders, unnamed fear and guilt pressing up into his throat. He's done something to make his alpha angry, he's sorry, he didn't mean to-

"That man," Felix snarls. His angry pheromones are thick around them, so dense Chan could choke. "That man hurt you."

"Alpha," Chan manages, garbled. "You're hurting me." It's true. Felix's grip has tightened until Chan can feel the fingertip bruises forming and he's crushed so close to Felix that his belly feels like it's going to burst. The disconnected distress of Doctor Park's clinical touch reminding him he's property is entirely gone now, and it's replaced by warring sensations of pain and insidious pleasure that his alpha is touching him, growling over him. It makes his head spin, how terrible-wonderful it feels.

"Channie," Felix says lowly. He buries his face in Chan's hair, taking long, deep gulps of scent. "Mine."

"Yours." What else can he say? He rode this alpha's dick, begged for it, and was bitched on it. The Corps may own his body, but Felix owns his soul. "Yours, please-"

Felix sinks his teeth into the bite again, and Chan shrieks as the pain-pleasure turns white-hot. Sensation rips through him- his cunt is spasming- he remembers flashes of this, yes, being stretched wide while his abdomen ripples and wet heat fills him and fills him and fills him-

He's starting to drown under the sheer weight of the sense-memory when he hears a voice in his head, clear, calm, smooth. Baby, come back, it says. You're not in heat anymore. I've got you.

It takes a moment, but like shoving through mud Chan realizes, oh. He's on the floor, with his alpha kneeling and holding him, and talking in his head. His alpha's teeth are fixed in his shoulder and neck, and he's talking right into Chan's head.

Overwhelm and exhaustion and terrified confusion crash into him like a wave, and his breath grows short. He can't move, frozen by fear and his alpha's strength, or he would crumple into a ball as the panic attack hits.

And still, Felix's deep, buttery-smooth voice in the back of his head where something is now irrevocably changed, where Chan's need for his alpha lives. You're okay, you're mine, I won't let them hurt you anymore, he says, but Chan's adrenaline just spikes at the intrusion and he shouts, struggling like he hasn't since his first procedure. He can't breathe, though, so his battering fists are weak and Felix just ignores them.

All of it melts away like snow under summer sun when Felix grips at the nape of his neck with his claws, and Chan's head goes pleasantly empty, just the barest sensation of discomfort rising when Felix heaves him up bridal-style. He sighs and lolls his head over to rest against Felix's chest. There are hot tears on his face that he can't remember shedding, and he blinks them away. His chest is heaving, though it's starting to slow. The only thing that's important right now is his alpha, being closer to him, giving him what he wants.

There's a wet, slick sound as Felix draws his teeth out of Chan, then the metallic taste of blood when he kisses him. "Shh," he says when he withdraws, eyes soft, though his scruffing hold doesn't soften from its iron grip. "I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. Is this better? Do you feel better?"

"Yes, alpha," Chan slurs. He feels good. His hurts are reduced, somehow, under the thick, heavy fog of alpha alpha alpha. Even his monstrously sore hips and core just feel this side of warm.

"Good boy. I'm still worried about you, though, so I'm going to ask someone to come and help while you rest, okay?" Felix is so good to him. His alpha cares about him. But the idea of someone coming here, into his territory, seeing his alpha and him in the space that's theirs? Chan loathes it. He pouts, even when Felix frowns at him and shakes him a little. "Hey-"

"No," Chan whines, shoving his face with uncoordinated muscles into his alpha. "Not- not in the den. 'S ours."

"Chan." Felix doesn't shake him again, but his voice is firm. "At least just someone to bring us some food so I don't have to try and cook while carrying you. You can't stand up, baby, you're not well."

"Alpha," Chan says helplessly. "Don't leave me?" He hates the idea of Felix letting go of him even more than before. He thinks he might just wither away with the pups inside him if he was abandoned now.

"Of course." Felix presses a gentle kiss to his cheek. "I'm not gonna leave you behind."

~

Felix doesn't let go of Chan's neck for nearly the next full hour. Chan just floats through it, as Felix finds a terminal to send a message for help, then takes him back to bed and smothers him into the blankets while footsteps come and go. Only when whoever-it-is is long gone and Chan is half-dozing does Felix pry his claws away and let the fog lift.

"Channie," he says lowly. "Channie, are you with me?"

Chan blinks slowly. Mm, that's his alpha. He's tired, though. He doesn't want to wake up.

"Chaaaannie." Felix says in a high-pitched voice. "Aren't you hungry? Don't you want to get something to eat? I had them bring your favorite."

...He is hungry. But he's so drained. He doesn't feel well. He feels sick to his stomach, even, with miserable fear. He needs to be sure his alpha isn't upset with him, and he needs to be good.

"Mmm." He wraps his arms around Felix and presents his neck in appeasement. "...'s okay?"

Felix laughs under his breath. "Yes, everything's okay, silly. You're okay. Here, let me-"

He starts busily scenting up and down Chan's throat, and Chan just has to sigh and relax into it. And then Felix reaches down between his legs and runs a finger from the hood of his clit to his hole, and Chan is once again aware of the stretch of the thing in him.

"Will it make you feel better if we get a smaller plug in you, baby? Your pretty cunt took this one so well, but you're getting smaller just like you should be."

"...Please?" Chan makes a face, wriggles a little. It's not even arousal that rises in his groin as Felix strokes him, it's the thought of relief for some of his pain that makes him obediently spread his legs to expose his hole.

"Good boy." Felix kisses him, giggling when Chan chases his lips, but he keeps one hand on Chan's abdomen while he rolls over to reach for the toy chest. "Just like that. Tell me if it hurts, okay?"

It does hurt. Chan's inner walls are dry and inflamed and even after Felix deflates the knot on the plug it has to peel away from every point of contact. Chan bites his tongue though while Felix wiggles and eases it out, because he wants to be good, he wants this to go quick and easy.

And then it's out, and Chan gasps, because he feels so empty. He clenches down hard, but it doesn't help, he needs something in him. Felix hums softly, and then there's something deliciously cool prodding at his hole. With a yelp, he relaxes, and three of Felix's fingers slip inside, coated with cold lube that soothes the inflammation inside. It feels amazing. The fingers rub around, spreading the feeling and prodding at the spongy place that feels even better so that he starts producing a little slick of his own to ease the glide.

After a couple minutes of the teasing torture, though, the fingers withdraw and Felix slips a plug only a little bigger than they'd been inside. "There you go," he murmurs, pressing kisses all over Chan's face to hear him squeak. "You did so well, I'm very proud of you, my sweet omega."

Chan preens despite the flush that creeps up his ears and down his shoulders. He's a sweet omega. He's a good boy. Tentatively, he reaches out, not quite sure how the mind-link works, but he leans into that presence in the back of his head and thinks, ...Felix?

Felix's face breaks into a blinding smile. Yes, that's me. That's just right.

~

Later, when Chan is feeling much better, fed and no longer aching from being stretched within an inch of his life, Felix really does give him a massage. He takes a tub of faintly sweet-scented oil from somewhere, lays Chan down on a soft towel, and rubs it in all over, until Chan's skin is shimmery-soft and he's aching with need between his legs. The thought of anything else than the solid plug in his sore cunt isn't great, but his alpha's touch is so hot, both from how warm his hands are and from the endless craving for more even after his heat. Chan might like a good orgasm.

He's in an odd bent-over position, supporting himself on his forearms so Felix can press his thumbs into Chan's lower back where he's cramping a little still from his womb's fullness, when Felix presses a soft kiss to his shoulderblade and slides his hands down to prod at his ass. Chan gasps, eyes wide, but Felix just kisses him again a little lower down while still prodding at the clenched hole. He's never been touched there before. He's not sure he likes it.

Then there's teeth, not piercing the skin but just pressing a red mark into the skin over his spine. Chan whimpers involuntarily. Felix's voice is a low rumble when he says, "Getting wet for me? Want me to fill you up even more?"

No. No, he doesn't. Chan instinctively scrabbles at the ground, pushing himself up, but Felix grabs the globes of his ass in his strong hands and spreads them to expose him. "Getting on all fours for me? You wanna present just like you should? Good boy."

"I'm not a bitch," Chan snaps, finding his voice suddenly. Felix's presence behind him, over him, is solid and heavy, but Chan's the most clearheaded he's been in a week, even with how aroused he is. "I'm not. Don't treat me like one."

"In the eyes of the law, you are." Felix says, very evenly. He grabs Chan by the waist, making him squeak, and manhandles him around so they're face-to-face. Felix's expression is stone, his lips pressed into a flat line, and Chan can't read him even with the bond, because they may be alpha and omega but they're strangers. He shrinks and shivers when Felix opens his mouth again and growls, showing his fangs. "You're mine. I bitched you and that's how you'll be until you're released from service and you can mate me properly or let the bond dissolve. Until then, I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm not going to let anyone else hurt you, but you listen to me."

Chan crumbles. Distantly, he's aware that this is what he was most afraid of, but for now he just feels like he's in freefall, eyes locked on his alpha's as the command reverberates and writes itself into his bones and blood. His mouth is suddenly dry again.

"Yes, alpha," he says, and Felix shakes his head and gathers Chan into his arms.

"I'm sorry, baby," he croons, rocking them back and forth softly. "I didn't mean to, I just don't want you to get hurt because you disobeyed me, okay? I need to know that you'll be good."

"I'll be good," Chan whispers. "I'm sorry." He's cold and numb all over, like someone's doused him in ice water. Even Felix doesn't make it feel better. The sharp reminder of Chan's place takes away any comfort he might have had in Felix's protection. Touch crawls, like the ghost of the thousand hands that touched him during his heat, the thousand people who got to have a go at the new ship's whore. They'll breed him again, next year, and the next, and the next, until Chan is done and this unique torture is over.

"I want to go to bed," he says into Felix's shoulder where his face is pressed. "Can we, alpha?" The title burns on his tongue, but it feels inevitable.

Felix sighs in Chan's ear, but he picks them up again willingly enough. "Of course. Hold on tight, baby."

Felix pins him in bed again without saying anything more, just dimming the light before laying them down oh-so-carefully. His grip is gentle. He doesn't make a move for Chan's neck while he arranges himself on top of him.

Chan still takes a long time to get back to sleep.