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As much as he tried to hold it back, there was no doubt in his mind about how beautiful she was.
He bided his time, years before he knew he had to do. It’s as if he never left her side, he would always find a reason, some convoluted excuse one after the other, to be near her, to see her laugh and love life. In a way, he admired how oblivious she was, whether it be from denial, or if she genuinely believed family was stronger than tradition, he couldn't say, but he knew well enough to know she was smarter than she let on.
Guilt constantly took hold of him when he lingered his stare, always looking when she wasn’t. Although the same can be said for many nobles, eyes were always on her permanently, the beloved middle sister, King Endrin’s brightest and most charismatic child. He’d be lying if he said jealousy didn't run through him when their father put her above both of them. As much as Trian seethed with a growing hatred, Bhelen’s love for her ran deep, deeper than it should. He could never bring himself to feel animosity towards her, which made it harder and harder to watch Trian's slow descent into jealous malice.
He respected her, he looked up to her, he wanted her. He hated himself for it.
He cannot pinpoint when it started, perhaps it was when they were children, when she would read to him and they slept in the same bed, perhaps it was in their teen years where she began to learn how to fight, watching her every move as she flawlessly swayed with her dexterity, practically dancing when dodged, bringing her sword down hard, easily besting him in combat, or perhaps it was when he watched her use her charm on the nobles to twist things into HIS favor at the expense of her own. She could talk her way out of anything, she could easily ruin lives if she wanted too, but not Reha, she was selfless, she was passionate,
She was a fool.
And she got him bad. This was not the first time he had made plans to inebriate her so he could touch her with no consequences, and not the first time he had acted upon them. That's all he did, was touch her, and the more times he did it, the further he'd go. The first time he had done it wasn't even intentional, he had taken her back to her rooms after drinking as per usual, she told him to turn around while she put on her nightgown, went to bed, and thanked him, falling asleep nearly right after. When he went to put the blanket over her, her gown had ridden up, revealing the bare skin of her legs and thighs to him. Those legs, Ancestors preserve him, his body immediately reacted and his head felt heavy as desire set in. It took what seemed like hours for him to finally get the courage to feel her skin on his fingertips, grasping at one of her thighs with one hand and admiring the squish of them before moving her gown all the way up from her bottom half. It didn't take long for him to be fully hard, struggling to keep composure. He shamefully hung his head down over her, using his free hand to pull his erection out, roughly stroking as he continued gripping at her soft thighs while finishing himself off.
There was a time when she woke up, and he was lucky he hadn't began to pleasure himself when it happened, and even though he had a hand full of excuses he had recited over and over should this happen, it still scared him half to death. She says she didn't remember that night, but he knew she was lying. He always knew when she was lying, she was terrible at it and he could see right through it when it came to to him. She was so much better at doing it to anyone else but him, something the deceptive coward he was to his core also admired about her.
That's when he started spiking her drinks. Maybe it was innocent at first. Maybe he lied to himself, it was for her insomnia, she had a rough day she needed help sleeping anyway, what he was doing wasn't so bad, all he did he did for her.
--
When they were children, they would always be exploring the diamond quarter, or, more specifically, she would, and she would lead him to the hidden rooms lost to time attached to tunnels that were man made, that she was sure had been abandoned and forgotten long before they were born. She spent a lot of time there, it made her feel rebellious, and it gave her much needed privacy that she had been deprived of most of her days. Some of his favorite childhood memories were sitting in those rooms with her, he could speak to her for hours and she'd always find something else to say to keep the conversation going. He could never. It was always such a comfort to him, speaking to her. It was their secret, their special place. They continued this into adulthood, though his stops became less and less frequent, or more or so, they just never caught each other at the right times. He began to grow his own fondness for having actual privacy, especially when he became Trian's second, constantly overshadowing him and having him under his boot.
He pressed the stone, and indent momentarily sinking into the rest of the wall, revealing the hidden away door, and began to make his way to their hiding place. He stopped dead in his tracks half way to it when he heard noise. Animosity began to bubble in his blood as he registered what was happening in seconds, fire in his footsteps as he forced his body to move towards the room, a crack in the door gave him full view of the actions at hand. She was bent over the table, ass up, Gorim behind her, relentlessly taking her from behind. She had a hand over her mouth with muffled cries, the table she was clinging onto for dear life was slamming against the wall with each thrust.
Of course she's letting her second fuck her. His breath hitched in his throat and he breathed in deep through his nose, then shakily from his mouth. Of course she's letting Gorim take her virginity. He was furious. He was livid. If there was anything Bhelen hated the most, it was his plans falling through the cracks out of his control. He was selfish for her, he wanted all of her, he wanted her first.
He had to stop himself.
He had to have self control, he had to deescalate the uncontrollable rage that ran through him like a wildfire.
He walked away.
--
Drinking had been an activity they partook in regularly, and they had a tab on Tapsters Tavern that would make the richest man in the Diamond Quarter look broke. She wasn't competitive per say, but when someone challenges her to drinking, she won't take it sitting down. Reha could handle her alcohol better than most, but even the most tolerant person falls eventually, and around eleven drinks later she was gone . She was slumped on their table, her body heavy as she was unable to properly move without gravity doing it's job, it was like her limbs were pudding. Bhelen had been the one to initiate the challenge to her, purposely not drinking much himself, but still continued egging her on, which proceeded further when a patron saw she was 'winning' and added in his coin to the pile as well. She won, of course she did.
There were times in the past something like this happened, but this night definitely took the cake, the owner of the bar acknowledging the situation as well,
"You seriously let her drink that much without stopping her? Aren't you supposed to keep her safe, or something?" They asked judgmentally, earning a defensive grunt, but then defeated sigh from Gorim;
"I tried, she was determined." Gorim had to begrudgingly hold his tongue as he watched her brother hype her up, knowing his place even if his concern grew more and more with each drink she gulped down. His instinct grew suspicious at Bhelen’s actions, but it was out of his hands and the best thing for him to do now was make sure she didn't accidentally crack her skull on the side of any furniture or get hurt some other way.
"My lady Aeducan, perhaps it is best we take you back to your rooms." he said, rubbing a hand on her back while she was still slumped over on the table. Not much of a response came from her, but he could tell she was agreeing from her tone and half words that came out of her mouth.
"The walk of shame amongst the commoners will surely be a sight to behold," joked Bhelen before they scooped her up and made their way out of the tavern. He wished she was sober enough see the looks on peoples faces, she'd have a ball.
They swung her open, and both Bhelen and Gorim had her by the arms, dragging her to her sofa on the far right of the room; she immediately sprawled out, her arm and leg falling over the side, almost taking her entire body with it. She could not control her movements and her limbs were heavy.
“You really must stop challenging her to drink, she always ends up winning and we are stuck with cleaning the aftermaths.” stated Gorim as he was squatted down in front of the edge of the couch, making sure she didn't actually fall off. It was a miracle she hadn't thrown up yet, she downed drinks like she was dying from thirst.
"Leave, Gorim, I can handle it from here." His words dripped with hostility which made Gorim's eyes widen for a second, his tone sounded personal.
"I- very well-" he stuttered, Reha clumsily sat up, putting both her hands on his chest, "Go get some rest Gorim, Bhelen will take care of me.." her words were slurred and her tone was very confused sounding. Her head also fell on his chest where her hands were, gravity hitting her brain but also in some kind of half hearted attempt at a hug. He rose to his feet, grabbing her hands and pushed her gently back onto the couch. "Very well my lady, if you need anything, you know where to find me." She looked at him, eyes half lidded, goofy smile plastered on her face,
"Goodniiiight, my love..." she sang out in a cutesy tone, rendering him petrified. She began to go in for a kiss, an action he immediately stopped in its tracks by quickly pulling away, nearly taking her with him. He could feel the air of the room instantly get heavy, and even though his back was turned to her brother, Gorim could feel his eyes piercing him like poisoned daggers.
Not a single word was said, and he didn't dare make eye contact as he power walked out of her rooms, Bhelen directly on his heels, holding the door open and standing in the doorway when he was out, "Gorim," he began, "Y-Yes… Your Highness...?" He didn’t dare turn around to look at him;
"There is nowhere in Orzammar you can hide from me. I suggest you stay in your place before someone reminds you where it is."
Gorim's blood ran cold, a stark contrast to how Bhelen's blood was boiling to his core. He slammed the door, startling his sister who squeaked in surprise. He quickly and unnoticeably clicked her door lock into place, making his way back over to his intoxicated older sibling.
"What was that?" She asked, her eyes were shut and one of her arms was covering them, the other one dangling limp off the couch with one of her legs dangerously close to the edge about to follow suit. "Gorim-" he began to say, she cut him off by deliriously speaking, "Gorim is the best. I couldn't ask for a better second." Jealousy is a bad look on him, thank the ancestors she couldn't see the look on his face.
"Gorim is only with you because of his duty," he bitterly retorted, "He was trained to be your second since birth, this is nothing more than a job to him." She moved her arm from her eyes, and stared at him, eyes widened.
"H-he wouldn't-" he cut her off, "Dearest Sister, do you know, no matter what happens, who will be the only one who will remain at your side? Gorim? Trian?"
"Bhelen… what..." She asked in a confused tone, with audible hurt in it, as she tried wrapping her intoxicated mind around why he was angry. He inhaled and looked away, in an attempt to calm himself down, he had to calm down, put the façade back on. "I'm sorry, Reha, you ... know how I get when I drink." She sighed out in agreement to him, as he knew she would.
"...Yeah." They sat in silence before she spoke up, "Definitely not Trian." She joked, making him crack a smile. "We're both shit outta luck when he becomes king. Can you picture it?" They both chuckled, calming the air a bit. "At least you're not like him when you drink..." she murmured, a pang of painful guilt hitting him as his heart ached for her, "I would never hurt you like that, Reha."
"Good... I'd have to kick your ass too... you couldn't take me." she joked smiling at the ceiling.
"Ouch, wound my pride some more why don't you." they laughed again, until silence between them filled the room again. He had no idea how long he was sat back on the chair in front of her couch, just gazing at her, taking her in.
"Bhelen..." she whispered, breaking the silence, turning her head towards him and beaming across to him with endearment. "Have I ever told you how proud I am of you? " He raised his brows in confusion,
"I... no, I suppose you haven't, not… recently anyway," He started, but then softened his expression as she continued, "You're just... I… There's a reason you're my favorite brother, you've always been so good to me.” she slurred out badly, he could barely understand what she was saying, even so, he fully understood and he hated when she did this, when she was so sickenly sweet, he hated how his mind and body began to betray him when even the littlest words of praise for him came from her.
“You are loved, Bhelen…” he chuckled, to take the mood off of his rising temperature and racing thoughts,
“And you are drunk, Reha.” he said with playful sarcasm, making them both laugh, and they continued to do so until it got awkward, painfully awkward for him as his mind raced from the pieces beginning to fall into place.
“I’m serious! You deserve more, I wish I could… give you… more.” she hummed out slowly, losing her voice near the end, that was her, his sweet, dearest, big sister, always wanting to do more than she had to for him . It didn’t go unnoticed by him how close she was to passing out,
“You’ve given me more than enough, dearest sister. Let’s get you into bed, you’re looking worse for wear, I'm afraid.” Bhelen grabbed her from the side and put her arm over his shoulder and dragged her towards bed, but as he did so, she nearly collapsed, the dizziness hitting her hard.
“Wow I am … a lot worse than I thought.. Haha.. You’re right..” he picked her up bridal style, and treaded over to her bed, gently laying her down. She looked up at him, smiling with fondness in her eyes, ancestors, those eyes shook him to his core. “Goodnight, Reha..” he said in a whisper, weakness setting into him as he brushed stray lock of hair from her face.
“Wait-” a reply he knew was going to come from her, something he knew he’d manipulated her into; “Can you stay here with me...? Until I fall asleep?”
“Of course, sister..” he smiled down at her with the same fondness, lingering there for a second before walking around her bed, climbing into it to lay beside her, not even a few moments later she turns around to face him and pulls him to his side, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest, snuggling up against him. It took a minute for them both to get situated but when they did it felt … perfect. His mind drifted to when they were children and would do the same thing, he always felt so safe in her arms, especially after their mother died.
Unfortunately for him, his current situation did everything but relax him, his heart racing and the adrenaline of things playing out exactly like he wanted coming to fruition. He was lucky in his own way, that she was too drunk to realize how fast his heart was racing, and how his hands were ever so slightly shaking.
They stayed like that for a good while, resting his chin above her head, combing her long beautiful hair with his fingers. She began to lazily trace circles in his back, and it was then where he knew there was no going back from this.
He slowly moved her away from him, hand on her shoulder backing up a bit, laying his head on the pillow under him, her doing the same. There was a small distance between them, and they were face to face. Her eyes were closed, and she was slightly smiling, the euphoria of the alcohol in her system ever evident as she moved her hand and placed it over his own on her shoulder.
“Reha,” he whispered silently, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against hers.
"Hm…?"
“I love you…” he moved his other hand to her face, brushing her hair out of the way again and caressing her cheek, "I love you.." she repeated, rubbing a thumb over his knuckles. He gazed at her, for what seemed like an eternity, he tried to still his rushing heart as he moved towards her, subconsciously pushing what he wanted to do off by leaning in and kissing her forehead. He stayed there for a few minutes, staring past her, his brain focusing on random objects in her room until he built himself up enough and hitched his breathing, moving down as he ever so slowly leaned into her and gently met his lips with hers, closing his eyes and exhaling out of his nose to relief his anxiety.
And she didn’t fight it. Ancestors, she didn’t fight it.
Perhaps it was the alcohol, but everything felt like it was going in slow motion. She lazily moved her hand to the back of his neck, and pushed her body against him, his whole body twitched as she accidentally brushed her knee against the uncomfortable growing hardness in his pants. It was passionate, slow and intimate, and they began touching eachother wherever their hands found themselves. He moved her slightly, so she was laying on her back, with him on the side, they broke the kiss, touching foreheads, their mouths hovering over one another, as he started massaging her breasts, pushing her shirt up to reveal them. There was something so disgustingly primal that instilled into him when he saw their mother's necklace she never took off rest between her bare exposed chest. They were both beginning to breathe heavily, her letting out small breathy moans with every little touch, head thrown back onto her pillow. It wasn’t long till he moved his hand down her stomach and began stroking her over her skirt, causing her to gasp and grab his wrist to stop him.
“Let me touch you, I want you to feel it..” Her grip loosened, but she still clung onto his wrist as he slowly dragged his hand up and down the fabric above her the sensitive area, “I want… to feel it…” she slurred out silently, breathing in sharply as his rubbing got quicker.
"You want it…? " He whispered slightly muffled into the side of her face,
"Yes, brother…"
He's never felt like this before. No woman he will ever sleep with will make him feel the raw emotion he felt when his sister told him she wanted him.
Her skirt was easily pushed up as well, and his breath hitched at seeing her bare legs, it didn't matter how many times he'd seen them, they drove him wild to the core. He stroked and admired her thighs for a minute before he brought his hand up to spit on his fingers, he slipped under her breeches and dipped his finger between her heat, rubbing up and down until he found her clit. She gasped and instinctively opened her legs further, when he began gently rubbing circles into it. She moved her hand from his wrist, quickly putting it on his chest where she gripped his shirt in desperation. Bhelen kissed her once again, it was wanting and more intense than the first, her breaking it occasionally to gasp, that was followed with them touching tongues as he rubbed faster, causing her to frantically grab onto him with both hands, shifting where she grabbed every few seconds. He saw how close she was getting and went quicker, and she reacted immediately, beginning to get more vocal and her legs starting to lock, he kissed her, and trailed down to her jaw, then her neck as the wave of pleasure hit her, grabbing him as tightly as possible as she twisted to the side and buried her face in her pillow, closing her legs on his hand, letting out half moan half scream, his name on her lips.
She was shaking and breathing hard, her hands still remained tightly gripped onto his shirt, he was kissing her neck while she came down, and savored the noise that came out of her mouth as he slipped a finger inside, furrowing his brows inhaling in the scent of her hair when he felt how tight she was. His own arousal was beginning to make his movements desperate and his brain clouded, and he was nowhere near as gentle as he was with her clit, pumping his finger in and out of her harder each time. She couldn’t contain her cries, she shifted her body slightly back to the side, wrapping her arms around him, burying her face into his chest again to muffle them, scratching down his back as she did so. He added another finger and quickened his pace, the shameful noises of her muffled cries, his heavy breathing, and the wetness of him fucking her with his hand echoing off the stone walls. He grabbed a fist full of her hair, pulling her face from his chest, forcing her to face him,
“You want to give me more, Reha? ” he gasped out frantically, her eyes were tightly closed, brows knitted together and mouth slightly open, gasping as his fingers hit her inside, “Look at me, sister.” she quickly met his eyes, tears falling down as he continued relentlessly, “You want to give me all of you? ”
“Bhelen -- Yes -- Please, I’m yours -- Take it...” she expelled in broken words, saying the first things that came to her mind, completely lost in pleasure.
He removed his fingers, frantically using both hands to pull down his pants to release his erection, and completely removing both her skirt and breeches right after. He climbed on top of her, and her legs instinctively wrapped around him, he grinded against her for a good minute while firmly grabbing at her breasts, kissing her hard and heavy, but pretty quickly gave up on any other forms of foreplay when he broke the kiss and looked down at her, chest heaving, face flushed with sweat on her brow, fully exposed to him and begging for him to take it further. He felt animalistic and disgusting, he felt like a monster.
He positioned his hand down to meet his tip at her entrance, and rested his forehead against hers, she moved her hands to the sides of his face as they stared into each others eyes, he slowly pushed himself inside her, granting a sharp hiss of pain from her, and gasp coming from him as the wave of pleasure consumed his body.
“Shhhh, big sister…” she wrapped his arms around his neck, and he planted small kisses on her face as he pushed himself fully into her, shuddering as he did so. Her hands moved once again to his back where she dug her nails in, letting out a painful grunt.
“You’re so good… You’re so good for me, Reha… Breathe, my beloved…” she did as she was told, shakily breathing in deep and shakily exhaling, when he started gently moving, she cried out when he fully entered again and nudged her spot. “ Fuck… ” he sighed out, quickening his pace a bit. She buried her face in his neck, until him hitting harder into her made her scream.
“Bhelen -- Little brother … Ancestors -- ! ” He began whispering inaudible praise into her ear as he further lost control, his mind blurred from the mixed feeling of her tightness and the visual he has of her under him, she was inconsolable and beginning to get louder, and he pushed her away from him, putting a hand over her mouth, somewhat roughly pushing her head into the pillow, hastily going at her harder.
“Do be quiet, sister, do you want Gorim to come back and see you taking my cock? Making you mine? ” His voice was cracking and breathless; she grabbed his arm with both her hands, digging her nails there as well, eyes tightly shut with visible tears streaming out. “You’re so fucking pretty when you cry… Ancestors -- You’re so beautiful…” he didn’t notice how she was getting less and less vocal, too lost in her.
It was downright embarrassing how close he was to finishing, in such a short amount of time, the wonderful noises she was making just for him made it so much more difficult for him to last longer. It was his turn to get vocal the closer he got, and it easily overpowered the dwindling noises that were coming from her, loudly grunting through his clenched jaw. He forced himself to pull out of her, and hovered over her on his knees, head hanging low, one hand on the mattress beside her keeping balance, and the other furiously finishing himself off. He let out a final long desperate grunt as he came on her, hitting her stomach and chest, joining his free arm on the other side of her to keep steady, breath heavy as he came down.
When he regained his composure a few minutes later and sat up from hovering over her, the shame and regret set in immediately. She had gone unconscious, when he wasn't sure, which hit him with guilt even harder. He grabbed her discarded skirt and cleaned her off to the best of his ability, slipping her breeches back on and fixing her shirt, covering her up with her blanket. He stared at her like that for a while, silently in his own mind, thoughts consumed by disgrace towards himself and sorrow for his sister who he just forced the most deplorable act you can do as a brother onto.
He left her room. He didn't sleep that night, or the night after.
And of course, in true Aeducan fashion, it was never spoken of, never brought up.
Everything's perfect. It has to be.