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“What do you mean you more or less got your driving license ?” You asked Touka.
“Well, er, the teacher was a ghoul and a customer of :re, so...he kinda gave it to me for free, b-but I know how to drive ! I studied !” She stuttered, intensely looking at the road.
When Hide and her started going out a week ago, she decided to buy human food for him but the problem was that she totally didn't know anything about it, what to buy and how to cook either. Which lead to her asking you for help and you excitingly agreeing. Really, you couldn't be happier that your two best friends were dating, you and Shuu were ready to do anything to make them marry and then you could all happily have a couple party and all that stuff. Plus, with how wealthy the Tsukiyama family was, you could get quality meat and blood and...Wait, Hide wasn't a ghoul. You'd have to get him food too but whatever, it wasn't the time to think about it yet, you were already in the parking lot.
“Oh, la racaille.” Shuu added. He was sitting on the backseat of the car and since that last one was a bit small, he had to bend over a little because of how tall he was.
“Kaneki,” Touka continued, “I'd like you to tell your shitty husband I don't know shit about french.”
“How rude of you, Kirishim-”
“Why did he tag along anyway ?!” Touka cut him. “Who would need him while doing groceries !”
“He can reach the products that are placed too high for me.” You proudly answered, Shuu snorted.
“Also, Kirishima-san, look at the road, you can park on the right.”
She mumbled something about purple hair and she proceeded to really, really slowly parking the car. In fact, everything was going so fast the drivers behind began to yell. You actually wondered if it was her first time parking a car. You finally asked :
“How many cars did you park in the past ?”
Silence.
“...None.” She whispered.
“Predictable.” Shuu said, waving at the drivers to go away, which changed nothing.
“A bit more to the left.” You told her, trying not to laugh because of the silliness of what was happening.
She stared at you, a bit pissed off because of how little you try not mocking her, and finally parked the car. But when you thought the nightmare was over, you heard a huge “CLANG” in front of the car.
“Like a glove.”
“Shut the fuck up gourmet of my ass.”
“Kirishima-san ! How dare you insult me on our wedding anniversary !”
“Your wedding was in june. We're in mars.” She tried not to let her anger explodes.
“Every day's our day.” You cut.
“GET OUT ME CAR”
Shuu and you did as told, and she got out as well to see the damages. Both her car and the one she hit had the same injuries the fronts of the vehicles were horrifying. After considering it, you turned back to her and asked :
“Exactly how many times did you drive a car ?”
“Well, I don't usually use it. :Re is really near from where I live and I buy the usual stuff like toothpaste in the little shop next door...” She stared back at the damages and sighed. “Now, what am I supposed to do ? I don't have the money to...”
“Don't worry, little princess !” Shuu almost yelled. He then put a paper with his phone number and a “Désolé” written on it under the windshield wipers of the other car. “I'll pay for it, it's not a problem.” Of course it wasn't, you were nearly billionaires now.
“I don't like this.” She considered. “I owe you money now.”
“It's...not really a problem to us.” You both tried not to laugh. “You could even ask us for money if you really needed to.” You nodded in agreement.
“No, thanks, whatever.” She showed you her back and started walking toward the entrance of the huge supermarket before you. “Also, stop holding hands, you make me look like I'm single.”
Ah, well then, Shuu and you were indeed holding hands, none of you even noticed. And her opinion wasn't going to change it.
“Ah ! A proletarians' supermarket ! Incredible !” Shuu loudly exclaimed.
You knew he was joking and you giggled a little, but it was his very first time going into such a normal store. He always went to very luxurious shops and you had to admit you got used to it as well. Touka was walking in front of you, like she didn't know who you were at all. You glared at all the little shops and remembered how much people were leading a normal life. How boring, you thought and surprised yourself. You looked at Shuu who happened to be way more excited than he should but you couldn't blame him.
You finally entered the main store and you were surprised by how much people were here.Touka had to awkwardly walk back at you two and asked where you should head to first.
“Well, Hide loves burgers, so I guess if you want to start cooking by making just a snack you can make a hamburger. You could buy him some bread as well as the food you'll put in it, unless it's too much work for you.”
“Of course it's not !..I'm not lazy asses like you rich people.”
“The Tsukiyama family worked really hard for decades to be this wealthy !” Shuu cut, looking ridiculously offended. You weren't going to tell him but she was right : it's been a while the family didn't have to do a thing, they had enough money for a lifetime and way more.
“Whatever.” She stared back at you then immediately blushed and looked away. “I actually...thought about making something special for him tonight, but I don't know what.”
Adorable. But since she never cooked human food, was she able to make a whole dinner ?
“Are you sure you're ready for cooking such meals ?”
“Well...”
“I can buy you some recipe books if you need.” Shuu added. “Though, you should begin with something simple to make, like meat, perhaps ? You're used to it, right ?”
“...Yeah, I guess you're right.” Touka reluctantly answered. “Let's go the meat aisle, then.”
Walking through that crowd was painful and Shuu was visibly bothered by it, but it couldn't be helped. You three almost got lost since none of you ever went in this supermarket, so you had to rely on signs and you got the wrong aisles so many times you had to ask employees. Why was this proletarians' – like Shuu would say – supermarket so huge ?! After minutes of walking, you finally found the El Dorado : the aisle you were searching for.
“So, erm...” Touka glared at the meats' labels one by one. Chicken, cows and many other from a bunch of different countries. She looked back at you. “...Which one tastes better ?”
That was when you lost your smile and realized : you forgot every. Single. Thing. About human food. Touka had brought you here only for you to help her since you used to be human and therefore eats human food. If you didn't remember it quickly, you'd make a fool of yourself and make your presence pointless as well. You considered the labels, like you knew what you were doing but you were screaming internally. But just when you were about to snap and tell her you were freaking useless, she told you :
“We lost the purple dick.”
“What ?”
“Your husband vanished.”
She kept looking at the labels like it didn't matter. She was right, you looked everywhere around you but not a single purple hair could be seen. You probably lost him while searching for the meat aisle but still, he was 1,80 meter tall for god's sake. You sighed and typed his cellphone number into yours. You expected him to immediately answer but instead you heard his phone ringing in your pocket.
“What the. What the fuck. Why would he put his phone into your pocket ?” Touka asked, startled.
“...It's a thing between us. We usually put our stuff into each others' pockets.” You looked away, a bit blushing by the absurdity of it. You thought it was a couple thing but in the end you were just both weird. “I'm gonna search for him ! Wait here !”
“Wait, what meat do I choose ?!”
“I know it's not chicken !” You screamed a bit, already running.
You were secretly glad Shuu got lost. Like this, you could avoid Touka's questions and showing how stupid you were. Though, you had to find your lover, now. Where could he possibly be ? And with this crowd that was blocking everything you ended up walking awfully slowly but at least you had time to think about where he could have gone. Knowing him, you were pretty sure that in the end he didn't get lost but went to another aisle more interesting to him. But which one ? The flowers one, maybe ? He always loved flowers, since ghouls can't eat human food a few of them grow to enjoy the flowers' scent and he was part of them. Tired of looking up to the signs hanging from the ceiling, you asked an employee – who happened to be the same from earlier. God dammit, you probably looked like an idiot.
“You lost your friends ?” They laughed.
“Kind of...Where's the flowers aisle ?”
“The flowers aisle ? It's on the opposite side of the supermarket.”
Nice. Great. Good. You had to walk the whole way now. You promised to yourself you'll reprimand Shuu when you'll find him, even though you were pretty sure you'd end up quickly forgiving him since you can't resist the look he has whenever he thinks he did something right when he wasn't. You sighed for what felt the hundredth time and you started trampling on the floor again. Two old people happened to be walking in front of you so things went even slower.
After thirty minutes or so, you finally arrived at the flowers aisle only to find no one. Absolutely no one. You just wanted to sit down for a minute at this point, dear lord you were so done. You cried out Shuu's name twice to see if he was around, examining the crowd in case he responded, but nothing happened. When suddenly, your phone vibrated in your pocket. You unlocked it and stared at the screen, seeing that an unknown number was calling you. You didn't feel like talking to what was probably a false number but just in case, you answered.
“Hello ?..”
“Ah, Ken ! It's Shuu. I wanted to text you but I think my phone is in your pocket.”
You were so relieved to hear his voice you would have hugged him if he was there.
“It is.” You sighed. “Where are you ? Where are you calling from ?”
“Some gentle lady is lending me her cellphone. I'm actually in the cheese aisle, I'll be waiting for you here. I must hang up, you'll be alright, mon amour ? I'm truly sorry.”
“I-It's okay, I'll be there in a few minutes.”
“Okay, see you right away then.”
He then hanged up and you felt alive again. You had so many questions though, the cheese aisle ? Seriously ? Why ? You guessed he was searching for food as well, but he could have just followed Touka and you. But anyway, you had to find him now. Which means walking through the whole supermarket again. Urgh.
This time you didn't bother walking through the crowd again but instead you slalomed between aisles, avoiding the most people you could. You entered the “food” part. Walking fast. You saw the sign for the cheese aisle. Walking faster. You should have done this from the start because it took less than 30 minutes this time. Hooray.
And you finally see him for a change. He's showing you his back, expecting to see you coming from the other side where most people were walking. Taking a deep breathe, tired of it all, you walked toward him and can't help but smile when you saw his surprised yet relieved expression. Before you could ask why this specific aisle, he told you with a grin :
“And for us...What is the cheese ?”
You stayed speechless. So that was why he chose that aisle. God dammit. You were so done you just let yourself laugh, and so did Shuu. Arm-in-arm, you looked at him to ask a question but in the end you had none.
“I'm truly sorry for getting lost. I tried finding a good cheese by the way, but I forgot everything about human food. I'm not the gourmet I used to be.” He laughed to himself. “Anyway, where's Kirishima-san ? Shouldn't she be with you ?”
Oh dear. You forgot about Touka.
“I asked her to wait for me in the meat aisle but knowing her she probably moved on...I'm gonna text her.”
“Wait, I wanted to know, it took you a lot of time to get here. Where were you ?” Shuu asked, concerned.
“...In the flowers aisle. I thought you were here for some reasons.” You sounded so dumb you mentally slapped yourself.
“The flowers aisle ?! Why would have I been there ? You know I only buy quality flowers !” He dramatically said then burst out laughing, and so did you.
Your phone vibrated, Touka texted you :
Touka : im done with groceries
Touka : thx for your help I really appreciated it
Touka : nerd
Shuu, who was reading it as well, giggled a bit.
“Well at least she didn't get lost. Wanna buy some books ?”
You sighed. In the end, you didn't do anything today. You were pretty useless, wandering around and helplessly searching for your husband. You let Shuu lead you to the books aisle and started quietly considering what book to buy.
“Fifty shades sounds great.” Shuu finally said.
“WHAT”
“I'm kidding ! I'll never give money to that abuse-promoting trash, the author doesn't know anything about bondage.”
“We only buy quality novels.” You proudly added.
Your phone vibrated again, Touka was probably waiting for you.
Touka : im leaving
“She's leaving.”
“Who ?”
“Touka.”
“Well, we'll call our driver.”
Kaneki : Go on, we'll call our personal driver.
Touka : you rich people and your goddamn rich stuff
Kaneki : Be careful on the road !
Touka : kNOCK IT OFF
In the end, Shuu and you ended up flipping through Fifty Shades, mocking how badly written it was for a good 15 minutes. The evening, you heard from Hide that Touka burnt some food but it was still pretty good. He seemed really glad Touka cared about him as much as he cared about her and you couldn't stop being excited for them, it was like seeing your favorite fictional couple becoming official. Shuu and you ended up spending the whole night watching some old romance show, laughing and comparing the main couple to Hide and Touka. You may have been useless the whole day, it was still one hell of a nice day. After all, you two had the privilege to see how well Touka can drive a car.