Work Text:
D is for...
Prince Viktor Idinarohk inspired a certain image to most people. King of Corpses. Serpent of Shackles and Decay. Mad Prince. This was, after all, a man who thought the best way to fight an artificially intelligent army of rouge military drones was with an army of robot girls implanted with the neural patterns of dead soldiers. His other bright idea was the CICADA—the bane of every female handler and pilot, a skintight piece of telepathy-enhancing nanowear that somehow covered everything and nothing at once.
Prince Viktor was, in short, a weirdo. Or eccentric, to use a more dignified turn of phrase.
"..."
Shin and Lena were completely speechless when arrived at the L'Amour for their double-date with Vika and Lerche. Man and Sirin were patiently waiting for them at the swanky restaurant, apparently a favorite of former nobles whenever they felt the urge to indulge in Celene cusine.
"Ah. Good Evening, Colonel Milize and Captain Nouzen. I do hope you find this resturant pleasing to your sensibilities." Vika uttered, in a practiced tone that deliberately exuded a formal aristocratic sense of hospitality. His manner of speaking also seemed to suggest that, in his eyes, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
"Hello, Sir Reaper! Lady Bloody Reina! I think it's absolutely great that you're with us for our double-date—" Lerche had no sense of volume at all. She yammered with all the delicacy of a bull in an Orienta shop. Even more judging eyes turned to their table.
Then, Vika proceeded to hold up her head and pinch her artificial cheeks.
"Woman! Can't you see that we're at an establishment where propriety is expected! I may be an unusual human being by the standards of most—but even I know when and how to act. We are representing the United Kingdom and as my future consort, you are expected to act your station!"
"Woman! You called me a woman! Consort! You called me your consort! Never have I been so happy in my entire—"
Vika raised up her head and pinched even harder. Apparently, Lerche's "civillian configuration" came with pain sensors.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Truly, my shame knows no bounds!"
Shin wondered, at that moment, if Fido would grow up and end up like Lerche. Then again, was Fido a boy or a girl? Did Fido even identity with any gender? Hmm. Thus, Shin came to forget the reason he was speechless in the first place. His mind moved on to more pressing concerns. Did robot puberty exist? Was there a guide to helping your robot dog-cum-brother traverse the tricky road of relationships? Should I watch out for Zelene? Hmm.
Indeed, Shinei Nouzen was a man who knew his priorities.
Meanwhile, Lena did not forget. She just couldn't ignore it at all. Does Vika really not know why so many of us are all staring at him and Lerche? Besides Lerche's...enthusiasm.
"Vika."
"Yes, Colonel Milize."
"You do realize that Lerche is a head."
Vika did not flinch. He was unmoved. "Yes. Lerche is a head."
Lena sighed. Deeply. "You brought Lerche as a head."
The King of Corpses raised his eyebrows, as if uncertain of what Lena meant. "And?"
"You don't see...how...odd it is...that you brought Lerche as just a head to our double-date?"
Vika was silent for a few long seconds. Then, the Fifth Prince of the United Kingdom of Roa Garcia finally replied. His tone was curt, almost cold. But those who closely knew the Prince—such as those who fought alongside him—could catch the slight, almost imperceptible hint of embarassment in his voice.
"I find it cute."
Lena blinked.
"Cute?"
"Yes. Cute."
Silently, Vika blessed whatever gods out there that Shin was busy engaging in some sort of esoteric machine communication with Lerche. That at least kept his annoying Songbird occupied—and distracted from providing him further embarassment.
"Pi?" Shin asked the Sirin, who put on a thoughtful expression in response.
"Pi!" Lerche uttered the one-syllable response with an adamant seriousness that seemed unusual on the ditzy robot. Or cyborg. No one was really sure which was the correct term.
Shin nodded, as a puzzle had been answered. Thanking Lerche, Shin solemnly replied.
"Pi."
"Pi." Lerche replied, gesturing for Vika to shake her head as if she were nodding.
Lena continued, ignoring the surreal sight of a man shaking his robot-lover's head in order to give said head the appearance of nodding. "Why?" There was a part of her that wondered why she bothered asking. This was Vika, after all. Prince Zafar even handed them a book on how to "deal" with him. Curiosity though, got the better of Vladilena Milize.
"'Date' has 'D' as its first letter..."
"Yes...? And...?"
"'Decapitation also has 'D' as its first letter...isn't the funny? Right? D...for dates. D...for decapitation." Vika chuckled. It was an odd chuckle—the sort one felt could be heard in a supervillain's lair. When paired with a rather unsettling line of reasoning, Lena could not supress the involuntary chills that ran through her spine.
"Huh..." Lena considered herself a quick thinker, but she grasped at that moment that there was a reason why geniuses often gained the reputation of eccentrics. What made sense to Vika didn't exactly make sense to anyone else. Everyone around them, on the other hand, was calling the waiters for their check. Nobles of the Old Empire were well-aware of the infamous legends that surrounded Roa Garcia's mad geniuses.
Meanwhile, Lerche smiled at Shin.
"Pi."
Shin had a grin as well.
"Pi."
...
"I hope you don't find it odd that I like holding you like this, Lerche."
"No, I don't find it odd at all Your High—Vika. But if you don't mind me asking...why do you enjoy holding my head like this?"
For once, the Serpent of Shackles and Decay sounded completely earnest, shorn of any trickery.
"I just find your smile adorable, my songbird. And I can't get enough of it."