Work Text:
what hurts the most
what hurts the most is when;
i could not say that i love you,
even though my lips are tingling,
my hands are throbbing,
to touch,
to feel,
you,
all of you,
i could not.
they say it is a sin,
you are a sin to me,
what should i do?
i was born a sinner,
but because of you,
i need to be pure,
i need to be holy,
i need to let you go,
even when my heart says no.
what hurts the most is when;
i could not look into your eyes,
and see that beautiful spark,
a distant twinkle that took my breath away,
a shine
so bright,
so blinding,
so you,
god.
you are beautiful,
in my wake,
in my dreams,
you are beautiful.
what should i do?
i could not have you,
but i want to,
i want to,
fuck, i want you,
desperately, hopelessly
is it too much to ask?
what hurts the most is when;
distance separates us from moving forward,
outsiders shove us from meeting halfway,
there is a fragile line between us,
but none of us dares to cross.
i love you with my eyes closed,
this infatuation blinds me,
help,
help!
icouldnotbreathe
i could not see,
i could not see anyone else but you,
you,
you are the only thing in my mind,
in my heart,
there is only you,
before, after, forever,
always- you.
and it hurts the most when;
we are both in this together,
but i could not even hold your hands,
i could not be by your side,
i could not exist in front of you,
we will never be,
we can not be.
you told me once,
i ignored you twice,
i was afraid,
that you would escape,
slipping away from my grasp,
withering with the summer breeze,
to see you smiling,
but i was not the reason,
behind those flowers blooming,
from your dimpled cheeks.
it hurts the most when;
i love you so much,
but love is not enough,
to bind us together,
to make us, us,
to put a smile on your face,
to hold you in my arms,
to incite the butterflies in your stomach,
when all i ever did was
making you cry.
crimson paints your face,
as you spit those words to my face,
i hate you,
but do you?
because
i do not.
it hurts the most when;
i want to be with you,
watch the stars unravel in your eyes,
sunshine kindling in your smile,
taste the sundown from your lips,
the warmth radiating from your skin,
laughter bubbling from your chest,
lazy mornings with you,
five minutes more,
wake up, asshole!
we will laugh about it,
since you let me through,
happy, sated, free,
free!
free!
free!
like a beautiful bird,
you have never gotten to be.
it hurts the most because;
i could not,
we- could not,
we- could never be.