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“Illumi, let’s have a child.” Hisoka whispered into his husband’s ear sensually.
Illumi turned his head slightly and eyed him in annoyance.
“Hisoka, are you aware you are no longer asleep?” Hisoka had woken up from a nap to find Illumi cooking in the kitchen of their Yorkshin apartment. It was a quiet rainy day; the young couple had no particular plans for the day so Hisoka had treated himself to what he would call a “well deserved nap”.
Hisoka laughed at his husband's comment and wrapped his hands around Illumi’s waist as he rested his chin on the man’s right shoulder.
“Did you dream about us having children?” Illumi asked out of mild curiosity.
“Not at all, it was just the first thing that came to mind when I saw you.”
That was not true. The first thing Hisoka thought about was bending Illumi over the stove and fucking him but ultimately decided against it when he noticed the hot pan over the stove which would undoubtedly be used against him if Hisoka accosted Illumi like that.
“Hisoka, neither of us has the means of carrying a child” Illumi deadpanned.
He was quiet for a moment. Hisoka observed him. He knew it was a topic Illumi would disregard because in his mind it wasn’t even worth thinking about but he also knew as an assassin it was drilled into him from a young age to think about every possible outcome which meant Illumi might give it some real thought for a bit.
“Besides,” Illumi opened his mouth to speak again and Hisoka grinned, knowing he’d caught him. “If I were to have a child, I cannot imagine Father being remotely happy.”
Hisoka looked at him quizzically, waiting for an explanation.
“Killua is heir,” Illumi stated with pride. “But if I was to have a child, as eldest son of my family, my child would also be eligible to be heir. I imagine Father would make me swear the child will never want the Zoldyck heir title as soon as the child is born.”
Hisoka looked at him mildly confused and Illumi knew why.
“I swore off wanting to be heir as soon as Killu was born but my hypothetical child has made no such vows. There would be a conflict of interest.” Illumi explained.
Hisoka nuzzled into Illumi’s neck as he laughed.
“So, you’re telling me your father should have neutered you?” Hisoka’s laughter died down after he saw Illumi’s had grip the pan handle a little too tightly but it didn’t ruin his amused attitude.
“I am not an animal to be neutered, Hisoka.”
“Oh, really now? Don’t you want to give little Killua a little nephew or niece?” Hisoka was grinning again.
Illumi turned slightly to meet Hisoka’s eyes. It was impolite to speak to a person but not look at them.
“Killu likes children, why would I provide something that would be a clear distraction to him?” Illumi questioned his husband as if what he had stated was an obvious conclusion.
Illumi sighed quietly. “I think it’s something he gets from Grandfather. Grandfather has always been beside himself with joy when a Zoldyck child has been born.” The raven-haired man explained. Hisoka made a noise of acknowledgement at his statement.
Hisoka liked listening to Illumi talk about his family. Both of them knew why, of course. Hisoka was an orphan who knew nothing about his parents and the potential family he may have. Illumi on the other hand was forced to memorise millennia of Zoldyck family history when he was young and as a result at times, he would offer that knowledge to his new husband.
Hisoka watched Illumi cook for a while as his fingers caressed Illumi’s waist softly until eventually Illumi relaxed into it.
Hisoka grinned suddenly. Wide and manic and Illumi felt it more than he saw it.
“We could ask Alluka-” Hisoka doubted he could finish the sentence either way as he was on the verge of bursting out with laughter but Illumi’s bloodlust filled the kitchen so quickly, his movements so lightning fast that Hisoka noticed only how Illumi’s pale hand had gripped his jaw sideways, covering his mouth, and was holding on with so much force that if those slender fingers of his flexed even slightly they would without a doubt break Hisoka’s jaw.
“ We will ask Alluka no such thing. You especially.” Illumi knew Hisoka was likely jesting but asking such a thing out of Alluka would result in very serious casualties.
Illumi let go of his lover and turned around as soon as the other man began making sounds of mild arousal at the prospect of getting his jaw broken. Hisoka knew this wasn’t the end of the conversation. Illumi was thinking again. Alluka was the only creature even remotely capable of granting a wish like that.
Illumi sighed and continued:
“I suppose Alluka could be able to fulfil a request like that, however, the means of doing so would likely be a mystery and the price would be outrageous. Not to mention that it could potentially harm both of us.”
Hisoka hummed in Illumi’s ear.
“I think it will be a girl.” Hisoka declared.
Illumi turned away from the pan and to Hisoka again looking so nonplussed Hisoka had to stifle a laugh. He wasn’t sure if Illumi was aware of his facial expression but Hisoka had come to know that expression as Illumi’s profound non-verbal disagreement.
“I do not understand why you think we would have a girl.” Illumi blinked. “My family is notorious for having male children.”
Hisoka laughed in earnest. He brushed Illumi’s hair away from his face as he spoke:
“She’ll have your beautiful hair but my eyes. She will be a horrible child and when she goes to kindergarten all the nannies won't know how to get her to behave. And when she starts going to school, she will be top of her class and when she comes home every day from school you can teach her how to throw needles and I will show her how easy it is to slit a man's throat with a playing card.” Hisoka finished and watched Illumi very carefully.
Illumi’s hands were busy with their food but his black eyes stared blankly at the backsplash of their kitchen, likely thinking about the impossible little girl Hisoka had just described.
Hisoka watched him with trepidation. There were very few times Hisoka would see cracks in Illumi Zoldycks mental psyche. Cracks in which the Zoldyck family morals hadn't fully sunk in, cracks which neither Silva, nor Kikyou had managed to completely seep into and corrupt. Hisoka would very, very rarely get to them and when he did, he made the most of it. This was one such occasion.
Illumi was never brought up to be heir and as such was never even given the opportunity to think about children of his own. Hisoka knew Illumi didn’t want children but to think about the possibility of it? Especially children of their own. It hadn't crossed Illumi’s mind so that’s why Hisoka watched him.
Would Illumi become angry with him? Would he simply disregard the notion? Both were likely but Hisoka didn’t know the answer. He waited. He didn’t know what Illumi was thinking and the exciting thing was whether or not he would grace him with an answer or whether Hisoka would get punched in the face.
Illumi removed the pan from the stove completely and turned to face Hisoka. Hisoka’s hands never let go of Illumi’s waist. Hisoka could feel Illumi’s bloodlust faintly. It wasn’t particularly malicious but it was there. Illumi’s hands grabbed Hisoka’s face and lowered it, Hisoka kneeled instinctively and in awe of the situation. Had he angered Illumi?
“Hisoka,” Illumi’s words were ice. “Do you want to have children with me?”
Hisoka smirked and closed his eyes, easing into Illumi’s hold, enjoying the feeling of those soft but deadly hands cupping his face. A moment later he moved Illumi’s left hand to his lips with his own. He kissed Illumi’s hand gently.
“No, I do not.” It was simple admission. Hisoka was done mentally testing Illumi for the day.
Hisoka got up and as he did, pressed Illumi’s body against his own and kissed him deeply. “I will shower and we will have dinner.” He eyed the food, said thank you and walked to their bedroom.
Fifteen minutes later Hisoka was back and Illumi had set the table perfectly. He’d even lit some candles for them.
Dinner passed in silence until Hisoka spoke.
“You know, Illumi, God forbid we do have children. The authorities would take them away.” Hisoka finished the discussion with one last jest and mild laughter. Their eyes met and the look of profound disagreement was back on Illumi’s face, this time even more serious.
Hisoka smirked. They both knew what that look meant.
On the very miniscule chance that him and Hisoka were to have a child, nobody, nobody would take their child away from them.