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Kohane had a distant memory of yellow flowers.
A field of them, decorating her green lawn, embracing the sun. They were so small and delicate that Kohane couldn’t help but smile, picking up a few and bringing them to her mom.
“Mama, mama! Look what I found!” She thrust her handful of flowers up, only barely reaching her mother’s hip.
Her mother cooed at Kohane. “My, those are quite the beautiful buttercups, aren't they?”
“Butter cups?” Kohane looked at the flowers. “Does that mean I can eat them?”
“No, thats just what the flower is called,” Her mother chuckled. “People call them that because they are yellow and look sweet, just like butter.”
“Woah…” Kohane looked at the flowers in awe. “I’m going to go pick some more!”
“...Actually, Kohane,” Her mother’s voice stopped Kohane from running out the door. “If you pick the flowers up, they might get mad, right? I mean, it must hurt for them.”
“Hurt?”
“How would you feel if I started pulling you away from somewhere you liked?”
Kohane made a face, making her mother laugh again. “See? So you can play with the flowers, but don’t hurt them, okay?”
“Got it, Mama!” Kohane beamed, taking her mother’s words to heart and running back outside.
Years later, when she would be coughing as quietly as possible in a bathroom, she would remember this memory as the same yellow flowers she played with as a child tumbled out of her mouth.
At least they were gentle.
“Hm? Kohane! Whatcha lookin’ up?”
“Ah, An-chan,” Kohane greeted the taller girl, smiling nervously. “I wasn’t…I wasn’t looking up anything important.”
“Eeeeeh?” An pouted, making Kohane giggle. “You seemed pretty interested in your phone though…”
“Oh, I was?” Kohane’s laugh quickly turned nervous as she looked back at her phone. “I was just looking at flower meanings…it isn’t that important.”
“If Kohane’s doing it then it must be important!” An threw her arms out as if she was stating an irrefutable fact. “What flower meaning were ya looking up?”
And Kohane would be lying if she said the flowers in her lungs didn’t attempt to push out of her into the world while she watched An, An whose sole concentration was focused on Kohane, An whose eyes were shining like she wanted to be here with Kohane.
She closed her throat and showed An the phone, and while An was engrossed in reading the letters, she coughed quietly into her arm. She brushed the delicate petals away just as An spoke up. “I didn’t take Kohane for a flower lover!”
An’s eyes were shining with a now-mischievous twinkle as she smirked at Kohane.
Why did Kohane find that attractive?
Why did Kohane find everything An did attractive?
“...I mean,” Kohane started. “These flowers used to grow in my backyard but they don’t anymore, so i was just curious…”
Curious as to why they are growing inside me, that is.
An hummed in understanding. “So that’s how it is. If you ask me though, buttercups really suit you!”
“Eh?”
“Ooh, you know what, one day I’m gonna make Kohane a buttercup flower crown!”
“...Is that even possible?”
“Why wouldn’t it be possible?”
“I mean-”
“Ooooooi, you two,” A familiar voice drawled out. “Stop flirting and get in here, you dimwits.”
“Yeah, yeah, comin’ Akito!” An called out cheerily. “Come on, Kohane.”
Before Kohane knew it, An had taken her hand and was skipping along with her.
It’s not like Kohane didn’t already know how An’s hand felt, but this felt…special, somehow. Her hands were warm and soft, contrary to the coolness of Kohane’s own hand. Kohane felt the heat spreading across her body, concentrating on her face.
Or maybe she was just blushing.
She seemed to be doing that a lot around An anyway.
Kohane knew that the flowers blooming in her heart were for an.
She’d be an idiot not to notice. Well, she was an idiot, but that was beside the point.
An was the type of girl to catch your attention without even trying. That effortless confidence she exuded drew Kohane in like a magnet, and Kohane couldn’t find it in herself to leave.
She once again thanked the gods she was coughing up buttercups and not, say, roses, because it meant that at first the flowers barely bothered her. They were small and fragile so the most that ever came out was a soft flurry of petals.
The problem was, she coughed most often when with An. Which made sense, but that didn’t make it any less nerve wracking.
Kohane was braiding An’s hair a few days after her disease started manifesting, and soon enough, after she had started thinking about An a bit too much, she had to hide her face in her sleeve and cough up some buttercups. An had asked if she was alright, and Kohane hid the flowers and replied to An as cheerfully as she could.
She told An to wait a bit and went to the bathroom to quickly rinse the flowers, and when she returned she announced that she wanted to braid the flowers into An’s hair. An was excited at the prospect and let her.
In the end An sported a small braid adorned by sporadic yellow flowers that matched her star clips. Kohane couldn’t stop herself from taking a few pictures. One particularly good one of An winking at the camera and making a peace sign quickly found itself on its way to becoming Kohane’s new wallpaper.
And Kohane could ignore the itch in her throat if it meant spending more time with An like this.
And then she learned that Hanahaki would kill you slowly from the inside.
And suddenly it wasn’t a game anymore.
And Kohane closed her phone with a sigh, unable to do more than just stare at her blanket, covered in stray blooms and leaves.
“...Hanahaki?”
Kohane let out a rather unseemly squeak, closing her book with a slam and whirling around. “Who’s there?”
Touya stared at her.
Kohane stared at him.
“...Aoyagi-kun?”
Touya huffed quietly in what was almost a laugh. “Sorry for scaring you.”
“It's- It's no problem!” Kohane reassured, voice still assuredly higher than normal. “...Where’s Shinonome-kun?”
“He and Shiraishi are struggling with History in that corner over there.” He pointed to a far corner of the library, where Akito was on his phone and An was asleep. “Or…they were before I got up to stretch my legs.”
Kohane laughed. “That’s just like them though.”
It was weird how even though An was meters away she still looked beautiful. She still looked beautiful in her haphazard school uniform, tangled hair, and drooling on a textbook. She still held the same intensity with her eyes closed, only softer.
That was definitely not normal. She must have been blessed by god to be that captivating.
Touya cleared his throat and Kohane’s head snapped back to the other boy, apologizing quickly.
“...Do you have Hanahaki, Azusawa?”
…
Kohane.exe has stopped working.
“...If you’re wondering why I asked,” Touya spared Kohane after a few seconds of intense stuttering. “You’re reading a book where the main character gets Hanahaki. And you have a petal in your hair.”
“Wait, I do?” Kohane quickly combed a hand through her bangs. Sure enough, her hand caught on a yellow petal. “...Ah, you’re right.”
“Is it for An?”
“Eh?” Blood rushed to Kohane’s face as she registered Touya’s question. “I mean- what do you- why-”
“You were staring at her earlier.”
“I-” Kohane couldn’t have been staring at An for that long. “Even so- Just because I was staring at An-chan doesn’t mean I like her!”
Touya stared at Kohane.
Kohane stared back.
“...It…actually is An…”
The corner of Touya’s mouth quirked up. “See?”
Kohane groaned, slumping down. “Even so, what am I supposed to do about it?” She turned her head so she was facing Touya while resting on the table. “I mean, An-chan probably doesn’t even like girls that way…”
“I’m pretty sure she likes you though.”
“But how?”
“She looks at you like you hung the world for her.”
Kohane lifted her head up to gaze at An once again. “...But why would she do that? I’m not…I’m not special, I’m not talented, I’m not worth anything compared to her.”
Kohane heard a sigh and the scrape of a chair, and then Touya was sitting next to her. “...I confess, I’ve had the same thoughts you had, only for a different person.”
“Hm?” Kohane racked her brain for possible love interests for Touya, but the answer was so simple she didn’t even have to try. “...Shinonome-kun?”
“Yeah.” Touya looked down. “He saved me, you know. He saved this half-assed singer who was just going to sing and scream alone in an alleyway, and he brought me into the light. So,” He took a breath, pausing. “So when I got Hanahaki, I didn’t want to tell him.”
“Oh…wait,” The sentence registered in Kohane’s brain a second late. “Aoyagi-kun…you had Hanahaki?”
“Yeah, the last time I was sick,” Touya nodded. “I…was scared. Of being rejected. Akito was…is everything to me. But he found out, because he can always see through me, that guy,” He chuckled. “He told me to just confess to the person already because it's worth a try, right? Why die when you still have a chance? That’s disrespecting all the people who didn’t have that choice.”
“Ah…I never thought of that.” Kohane looked down at the book in thought. “...That’s what this book is about too. The girl gets Hanahaki but the guy already has a girlfriend, so she’s left to die alone.”
“Very morbid.”
“...Yeah. Also really simple. But that's also realistic I guess.”
The two fell into a comfortable silence, one reading a book and the other pulling out his phone and scrolling through.
Touya broke the silence after a bit.
“...Say, Azusawa, how long have you had Hanahaki?”
“Hm? I guess…around a week?”
“Oh, so it’s new.”
“Mhm. It hasn’t impacted my singing yet, and the flowers are buttercups so they don’t scratch my throat as much.”
“...That’s nice. I had asters.”
Kohane cringed, knowing firsthand how big those flowers could be. “...I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, it’s over.”
Kohane nodded, going back to her book. The girl was writing a note to her family and friends and was planning on committing suicide. “...When should I tell her?”
“Anytime you’re ready,” Touya answered easily. “Though it might be better to do it soon, so the Hanahaki doesn’t progress.”
“Mhm.” Kohane stood up. “Thanks, Aoyagi-kun. Wish me luck.”
“Alright- wait, you’re doing it now?” Touya turned, eyes wide. “Are you sure?”
“Better now than later, right?” Kohane tried to smile. “If I decide not to do it now, I know I’ll never do it. Plus, I’ve been trying to be more brave recently, and I can’t be brave if I can’t tell my partner about how I feel right?”
“...You have a point. If you’re ready, I say go for it.”
Kohane took one trembling hand in another, holding it tight. “...I’ll go wake her up.”
“Okay. If you need help, I’m right here.”
“Yup.”
Kohane steeled herself and started the walk to An and Akito’s table. At this point Akito had fallen asleep too, so they were resting peacefully amongst the history textbooks and notebooks. The sight was almost comedic.
Every step closer brought more flowers to Kohane’s throat.
Kohane chose to ignore them. They could wait for a few minutes.
Kohane shook An’s shoulder. “...Hey, An-chan.”
An groaned, shifting a bit. “...Five more minutes, dad.”
An amused expression made its way on Kohane’s face while butterflies erupted in her stomach, making their way to her chest. “Yeah, um, It’s me, Kohane.”
“...Kohane-chan?”
“Mhm, it’s me.” Kohane resolutely ignored the rising blush on her cheeks from the affectionate nickname. “...I have something to tell you, actually.”
“Tell me?” That caught An’s attention and she sat up, blinking away the last dregs of sleep from her eyes. “Did something happen, Kohane?”
“...Yeah?”
“Did people mess with you again? Did people tell you to get out of the library cuz you’re from Miyamiza-”
“No, nothing like that,” Kohane shook her head. “What I want to say, is, uhm…”
And that’s when the buttercups decided to make their presence known.
It started as a small tickle while Kohane was trying to find words and stuttering. Then an itch. And then Kohane started coughing.
The coughs were more painful than usual and she closed her eyes, steadying herself on the table. An was completely awake now and had instinctively put a hand on Kohane’s, eyes wide in fear.
That only made it worse, however.
What came out of her mouth were whole buttercup flowers. Stems, leaves, and petals.
Strewn all across the table.
Kohane coughed a few more times to get rid of the unbearable itch and opened her eyes. “...Ah.” Her voice came out raspy and she coughed yet again, a stray leaf flying out.
An swiveled to grab her water bottle and thrust it at the other. “Drink it.”
Kohane took the bottle gratefully and drank a few gulps. Once she had finished, she slid down to sit on the chair, legs weak.
The entire library had gone quiet, a few nosy onlookers staring at Kohane and the flowers in shock. Touya in particular was standing up, ready to help if need be. But he didn’t come, presumably because he knew this was something Kohane and An needed to sort out.
Touya was a good friend like that.
“That…does my work for me, I guess…?” She said quietly, trying to not irritate her voice (and also noticing that Akito was still asleep and probably would be waking up soon due to the commotion.)
“Does your work for you?” An shifted to hold Kohane’s shoulders. “What…Kohane, does this mean you can’t sing anymore?”
An’s amber eyes were burning with intensity, staring into Kohane’s dull ones. It was then that Kohane noticed how close the two were. There was a bead of sweat rolling down the side of An’s face, she was biting a bit on her lower lip, her hair was still tangled beyond belief from her impromptu nap, and her hands were still on Kohane’s shoulders, making her a bit dizzy from it all.
And Kohane’s always been the worst at talking.
So she decided to tell An another way.
“Mmph!”
It was a short, fleeting thing, the kiss, but Kohane honestly couldn’t muster up the courage to do much else.
Upon seeing An’s surprised face, a pink blush on her cheeks, the warm pressure gone from her shoulders as An lifted her hands, Kohane felt her own face getting hot and turned away, hiding it in her hands.
“...The person you’re pining after…is me?”
Kohane nodded from behind her hands.
She heard rustling, and suddenly warm hands were bringing her hands away from her face.
For the second time, Kohane found herself transfixed in An’s eyes.
It should be a crime to have eyes that pretty.
“...Kohane?”
Realizing that she never answered An’s question, Kohane nodded meekly.
The expression of pure joy on An’s face was enough to make Kohane’s heart burst, and all of a sudden she found herself embraced by her partner. She gasped and tried to say something, but her throat still hurt so she settled for putting her arms around An as well, burying her face in An’s shoulder.
And then she could breathe.
The vines crawling up her throat gave way and Kohane was able to take in gulps of air she didn’t realize she was being deprived of earlier.
No words were needed to know that Kohane’s feelings were reciprocated.