Work Text:
Tsukasa set down his pencil.
A half-drawn sketch of Rui stared back at him. The person in question was about to visit; he’d arrive in three minutes, at exactly 5:00 PM, because he was punctual like that. And Tsukasa was trying to draw him something for appreciation. It’s not like he could do anything else, and making the commute to the hospital every day couldn’t have been easy.
Saki also visited every day, but she tended to drop by in the morning before school. She knew Tsukasa would be awake anyway, and seeing her usually lightened Tsukasa’s mood.
Emu tried to visit once every couple days, and Nene dropped by once a week holding an armful of chocolates as an apology. They were both- no, all of them were so busy, and yet they were forced to make time to visit Tsukasa. Not that he hated it; on the contrary, their visits were the only flavor in his otherwise dull hospital life.
But he was causing them trouble and he wasn’t even doing anything except stare out the window, read a few lines of a book, try to draw, sleep, wake up, and eat.
Rinse and repeat.
The soft sliding of the door brought Tsukasa out of his head, and he turned to greet Rui. The director entered, a roll of paper in his hand, hair thoroughly mussed (most likely from the wind blowing outside). He wore a light purple cardigan that looked like it had seen better days and some gray slacks.
Tsukasa didn’t feel like smiling, but the sight of Rui never failed to brighten his day.
“Rui! Hello to my humble abode!”
Tsukasa’s throat wasn’t in the best of condition from all the coughing, but he was grateful he could still speak.
Then again, it did hurt.
Hacking up flowers did that to you.
“Hello to you too, Tsukasa-kun,” Rui answered, smiling easily. However, Tsukasa noticed the slight tenseness between his eyebrows.
Was Tsukasa not acting normal?
Rui held up the roll of paper. “I brought a new manuscript.”
“Manuscript?”
“Mhm, Nene wrote it. Its a musical about forbidden love, or so I’ve been told. She wants you to play the lead character so she told me to give this to you.”
“A-ah.” Tsukasa took the manuscript, opening it. A weight settled in his chest, and it was harder to keep up his smile. “...This looks really good.”
“I know,” Rui smirked, perching on a chair by the bedside. “You want to try reading a few lines? Get in character and all that.”
Tsukasa laughed nervously at that, trying to keep his smile up, but Rui’s grin immediately dropped. “...Tsukasa-kun?”
Tsukasa stopped laughing, taking a breath. He gripped the fabric of the hospital blanket. “...The doctor…said that I won’t be able to leave the hospital.”
He heard a sharp inhale, but otherwise he kept his gaze transfixed on the half-finished drawing on his lap. He hadn’t even finished the face, and yet he had spent a half hour to detailing the eyes. They stared at him, concerned, even through the paper.
“...How long?”
Tsukasa didn’t say anything for a few seconds before forcing it from his throat. “...They say I might not survive the week.”
He lifted his head, turning to Rui and smiling widely to ignore the buildup of heat behind his eyes. “So you see, Nene’s gonna have to find a new male lead. You know what, what if you did it Rui?”
“Tsuka-”
“You’re certainly handsome enough, and you’re better at acting than me too.”
“Tsu-”
“Plus, you and Nene’ve known each other for so long you guy’d have instant chemistry! So-”
Tsukasa didn’t even get to finish the word before fire erupted in his throat.
He doubled over with a harsh cough, followed by more. The coughs were wet and choked, and Tsukasa bent over the side of the bed to frantically push the flowers out of his throat into the trashcan strategically placed there.
Black roses tumbled out of his mouth, drenched in blood so dark red it blended in with the petals. The petals fell in clumps, the blood holding them together. Thorns scratched Tsukasa’s throat and mouth, and a few stray tears escaped.
He barely registered the panicked voice in his head or the warmth on his back, but he was grateful for them nonetheless.
But it was also humiliating. Even though Rui had seen him like this countless times, it still stung.
At last, the final petals dropped into the can and Tsukasa heaved a big breath. And then another. It wasn’t long before he felt flowers closing his throat, but they weren’t fighting to escape for now.
“Tsukasa-kun?”
“I’m okay,” Tsukasa tried reassuring Rui, but his wrecked voice and the blood on his chin could never have convinced anybody.
Predictably, Rui frowned. “Hold on, I’ll grab a tissue.”
His voice was shaking. Almost imperceptibly, but it was.
He left Tsukasa’s vicinity to go to the counter and grab a tissue. Tsukasa, reminded of his drawing and the manuscript by the weight on his lap, put them on the bedside table.
Rui returned with the tissue and gently wiped Tsukasa’s face. The tissue came back red.
Tsukasa hated how this was a regular occurrence.
Rui glanced at the drawing before throwing out the tissue. “Did you draw that, Tsukasa-kun?”
“...Yeah, I-” A cough escaped Tsukasa’s worn throat, as if warning him to stop speaking lest he have another episode. He could feel the tears he was trying to hold back start to escape, and it didn’t escape Rui’s notice either because the next thing he knew, Rui was embracing him.
Rui held Tsukasa lightly, but firmly, and Tsukasa buried his face into that cardigan, the tears finally starting to escape. He would have apologized if he could, but all he could to was hug Rui tightly.
And to make matters worse, he heard Rui’s breath shuddering the way it did when he was trying not to cry
Tsukasa was making Rui cry.
And he could only apologize in his mind.
Apologize for being such a burden. For being too much of a coward to tell Rui that he loved him. For being able to die for Rui. For making Rui sad.
He didn’t want Rui to cry.
Because the time he spent with Rui was the happiest in his life.
And he thought, if he died then, in Rui’s arms, he wouldn’t mind terribly. He wouldn’t mind at all.
Not even a minute later, Rui was being forced out of the room by frantic doctors and nurses, trying to force Tsukasa’s heart to beat again.
But Rui knew Tsukasa was already gone.
And he let his tears fall at last.