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Era looked around, making sure no eyes were on her before descending the flight of stairs she’d found while exploring the castle. The little elf found it odd to think that the humans around would have had difficulty seeing in the darkness. It was a perk of being elven, the better night vision.
A smile tugged at her face as she stepped into the larger space, crouching to the ground. She reached into the large bag she’d brought with her, pulling out her tinderbox and striking the flint piece against the steel. Sparks landed on the charcloth inside and she blew against it, going through the process of shedding light on her surroundings. Numerous old candles and torches were around the room, but she only lit enough to get allow herself to find the right door.
Such an old lock, she thought to herself, pulling the right picks from her belt. It was awkward to wear her armor around Skyhold, but she did it anyways for these adventures. The fortress was hers now and she’d do with it as she pleased. If it meant breaking in to find treasures, then she would do it.
The elf let out a little cheer as the door gave. She put the picks back and stood, going through the door. There was enough light added to her already decent vision for her to be able to tell she’d finally found what had been someone’s personal library.
After lighting candles, she tugged out the branch she’d gotten from a tree in the garden. Skyhold was covered in cobwebs, and Era hated anything that even looked spider related. She swiped the branch around the desk in the center, pulling down as many as she could in order to get to the shelves safely. There was so much dust in the air that for a moment she wished she was a mage so she could set a controlled fire to burn the unnecessary things away. That thought was quickly discarded. Being a mage was not something Era would have done well with. She felt much safer with her blades.
The elf let her fingertips run across the leather bound spines of the book, the imprinted and pressed titles bringing a smile to her face. She’d not grown up with many books, most of her knowledge coming from her Clan-mates and the Keeper. The thirst for knowledge left her bothering all of them to the point where almost left her when they started moving again.
Things had changed greatly since then.
“Having fun?” a voice from behind said. Era jumped at the sound, clutching the book she’d pulled tightly to her chest.
She turned on her heel, eyes narrowing at the voice’s owner. “Solas,” she growled, glaring at him.
He smiled slightly and walked into the room. “Forgive me, I never intended to startle you.”
“Well you succeeded,” she griped, setting the book down on the desk. Sighing, she relaxed and leaned against it. “What are you doing here?”
“I was coming through the main hall when I saw you turn into a door that didn’t lead to your quarters. So I followed you to see where you were going,” he said, sheepishly pulling at his sleeve. “My curiosity got the better of me, and I apologize.”
Era’s expression softened. “It’s alright, Solas.”
“If I may ask…” he started, stepping forward to the desk and opening the large book lying across it, “…why is our Inquisitor sneaking around her own keep?”
She sighed. “Because if I don’t, then questions are asked. I’ve so little privacy nowadays. I’ll take as many moments away from it all as I can find.”
Solas nodded. “In that case, I’ll leave you to your freedom…”
“No!” Era reached out, grabbing his arm as he started. Her cheeks flushed when she finally realized what she’d done, but she didn’t let go of his arm. “I… I don’t mind having you around. Please, um… Please stay.”
He met her gaze and smiled, pulling his arm from her grasp and stepping towards her a few inches. Era was the first to start things, just like when they’d first kissed in the dream. She closed the distance between them and kissed him, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her flush against him. The two kissed several times before pulling away, meeting each other’s gaze. The smile Solas reserved for his vhenan made hers even brighter.
“I, uh…” she started, regaining her composure. She tucked a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail behind her ear and turned towards the books. “I honestly came here in search of an appropriate distraction. There have been… reports concerning my clan.”
Solas held onto Era’s hand when he saw her expression fall. He didn’t care much for the Dalish and their misplaced traditions, but they were her family and he cared for her. “Vhenan?“ Era looked away, her gaze falling to the floor. "Has something happened?”
"Bandits attacked them,” she started, remembering the report Josephine had shown her. Era started to shake, a mixture of sadness and depression starting to overcome her. “Fucking shems.”
It wasn’t often that Era swore, and even less often that she used the negative term for humans. Era hadn’t any human friends before everything started, in fact she hadn’t cared for them at all. But from what she’d told him she’d used the term sparingly even then. Now that she had grown close to Dorian and even Cassandra, the word fell from her lips even less often.
Solas held her hand gently as she continued.
“Almost all of my clan is gone now,” she choked out, breath catching in her throat. “Our Keeper and everything we fought to preserve. Gone. My mother and father, dead.” Era reached up with her free hand and quickly palmed at her face, refusing to let any tears stain her cheeks. “It doesn’t even seem worth it anymore. Why try? Both our Keeper and First are gone. There aren’t enough for them to even be considered a clan. I… I don’t understand. Why did this happen?”
Solas cradled her cheeks in his hands and kissed her forehead. Era choked out a sob.
“Fenedhis,” she swore, leaning into her love. Era pressed her face into his chest, Solas wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. “I feel so guilty.”
“This is not your fault,” Solas insisted.
“But if I hadn’t been at the conclave then I’d still be with them,” she argued, looking up at him with her emerald orbs. Tears rimmed her eyes, her breathing choppy. “I could have protected them. They could have survived….”
“If you weren’t at the conclave, none of us would be here,” he said, hardening his tone. “It’s likely Corypheus would have gained what he seeks, and none of us would be here. You stopped him before he could do that. We both saw those memories.”
Era was no longer looking at him, her gaze lowered again as she sniffled. She palmed at her face again, wiping away tears. It was weakness in her eyes, but the pain in her chest lingered nevertheless.
Solas rubbed her back soothingly as she grew weak, letting her cry into his chest as she choked on sobs.
“It’s not fair,” she breathed. “The Dalish have their faults, but we try. We do what we can. We have something worth preserving, but there are so few of us left that… I don’t see the point anymore.”
He remained quiet, afraid his opinions on the matter would only make things worse. But she had a point. There was some truth to the tales Keepers told their clans, the traditions they practiced often misplaced but not without some meaning.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her hands making fists as she gripped his tunic.
Solas kissed the top of her head, holding her close as though he could take away her troubles by doing so.
“You’ve done nothing that needs apologizing for,” he assured her.
Era swallowed, her eyes stinging and her throat tight as she held back. She hated it all, her rage and sadness mingling to create an emotion she’d never felt before then. It was something similar to how she’d felt after Haven, but it was more personal. Her old home with the aravels and her clan. She thought to return once she was no longer needed, but things had changed. She had nothing to return to. Her name meant so little now. Another Dalish clan would sympathize with the survivors, they’d take their name now.
She was the last Lavellan.
Era clung desperately to Solas as the thought came to her, the realization that he was all she had left personally. She had no family, no clan.
But at least she still had her heart. She still had Solas’s arms around her, and the steady sound of his heartbeat allowed her to relax as she rested her head against his chest.
“Ar lath ma,” she said carefully.
Solas rubbed her back gently. He wouldn’t let her go now. He couldn’t. “Ar lath ma, vhenan.”