Chapter Text
Nicky flipped on the switch in the living room, and scanned the open space before him.
The Al-Kaysani residence was as familiar as his own, and Nicky stepped into the foyer to close the heavy door behind him. He was mindful of the one tile with the thin crack that peaked out from the divider of the worn wood floors, hung his light jacket on the plastic knobs he helped hang five years earlier, and lowered his bag onto the cushioned bench nearby.
For the next six weeks, their home - which he had spent numerous holidays and vacations in for over two decades - would be his home, though he tried not to look so miserable about it.
It wasn’t like he didn’t like it, in fact, he loved their home better than his own most days. But without anyone there, the warmth of the place was missing, and Nicky sighed as he reached for his overnight bag.
It was sheer luck that his lease would be running out just as Zara and Yunis would be leaving on an extended trip for Tunis in the summer, and when he had shared the news with them, they saw it as an answer to their prayers to have Nicky watch the place for them - if he wanted to that was. Nicky wasn’t so sure at first, their generosity was something he had struggled with before, but the truth was he could use the money saved from not having to pay rent for almost two months. And since it was a mutually beneficial option for all parties involved, Nicky assured himself it was okay to accept their offer, and maybe he could assuage some of that guilt by working on a few house projects along the way.
Ibrahim had passed away long before Nicky had had a chance to meet him, and the house had slowly fallen into disrepair ever since - not majorly, but in small ways, and not looking any different than it had three decades earlier. Nicky had always found small projects to do when he had stayed for extended visits over the years - a fresh coat of paint on a door, or installing new cabinet doors, simple weekend projects. But if he was here for six weeks, he figured he might as well do something more grand.
At the end of the day, Nicky needed to keep busy, and though he had more than enough vacation time saved up for his remote work, he still only planned on taking the last two weeks off for his stay. That would give him enough time to patter around the empty place and figure out what needed the most immediate attention, though as he climbed upstairs, he imagined he’d tighten the bolts on the rickety stair railing first thing in the morning.
He wasn’t sure if it would be considered pathetic, or endearing, but Nicky somehow found his way back to this place no matter how far he had traveled over the years. He had even lived a whole state over for one miserable year, before returning to the area, quite grateful that his best friend didn’t mind loaning him his room for two weeks while Nicky went apartment hunting.
At the time Yunis had given him a cheeky grin when he declared he’d stay in Joe’s room, ‘my brother wouldn’t beat me up over it, Mama would kick his butt if he dared.’ - but it felt like a strange sort of missed opportunity all those years ago.
For Nicky desperately wanted to sleep in Joe’s bed one day.
Just once. Just to see how it felt. Just to tell himself it was no different than any other bed in the world.
For if he had, maybe Nicky could have finally accepted that - when it came to Joe - he had built up so much in his head. That bed would likely be anything but the euphoric feeling he’d half expected. Maybe it would have not one, but two, springs that would poke him throughout the night. Or the decades old frame would crack if he rolled too fast on top of it. Maybe it wouldn’t smell like that after shave Joe has worn ever since Nicky turned fifteen, and that he still couldn’t get a whiff on in passing without thinking about him.
‘Maybe it would be heavenly,’ his double crossing heart tightened in his chest.
And Nicky continued down the hall, ignoring Yunis’ bedroom which he had been so kind to tidy up and put fresh sheets on, and stood in front of the cracked open door of Joe’s room. Zara claimed it was to keep the air from going stale within, but Nicky sometimes wondered if she simply hoped to see her first born son peeking his head out in the morning like he did when he still lived at home - his hair a mess of unruly curls as he groggily begged for ‘ten more minutes.’
Strange how much Nicky could recall even the minute details of such trivial things.
But maybe it was easy to do since he’d been in love with the guy since he was eight years old.
Of course, that was with an eight year old kind of love, where he stared up at a barely taller, gangly eleven year old, Joe and thought he was as beautiful as a sunrise.
Or when he was twelve, and Joe was fifteen, and Nicky absolutely, one hundred percent knew it wasn’t just a phase and he was definitely in love with his best friend’s older brother.
Or at fifteen, when Joe shared he was going to go to college out of state to become a teacher and Nicky had to excuse himself to cry in the bathroom upstairs -
Nicky closed his eyes for a moment, reminding himself he wasn’t that person anymore, wasn’t the kid Joe was kind to - but that’s because Joe is kind to everyone - but certainly never saw him as anything but the guy Yunis still enjoyed his company of. And really, if it weren’t for Joe’s presence at every major holiday and birthday, if Nicky didn’t still see him twice, sometimes three times a year - and if Joe could just stop being so damn charming, Nicky convinced himself he’d be able to get over him properly.
It wasn’t like he was waiting around for the guy to notice him or anything either.
He had ended his most recent lease because his last boyfriend moved out half a year ago and it simply no longer made sense for him to keep a place that big just for himself. Nicky dated, plenty some years, and he could go weeks without thinking about Joe if he really tried.
And then Zara would mention something Joe said on their last call, or Yunis would tag him in a pic that would appear on Nicky’s dash, and that same warm feeling would burrow its way into his heart all over again.
It wasn’t like Nicky had romanticized him, he knew the man could be messier than he was - had no problem letting the laundry pile up, or track dirt in the house - and as learned as he was as professor, his favorite shows were practically mindless things that went in one ear, and out the other. Nicky didn’t have any false impressions that he was somehow perfect, just that deep down he knew that Joe was perfect for him.
But even if he could help Joe get over the obstacle of dating his younger brother’s best friend, and all the complexities of family dynamics that that would entail (considering Zara had joked at least twice a year that Nicky was her ‘third child’ ), one fairly big issue remained: Joe wasn’t gay.
So - it was pointless.
And Nicky had spent over two decades trying to move past it in every way he could think of.
Yet as he stood at Joe’s door, with neither Zara, nor Yunis home, Nicky did something he had never dared hope could actually happen. He stepped inside, turned on the light, and saw the clean sheets folded at the bottom of his otherwise bare mattress in case Joe decided to come home.
Nicky nibbled on his bottom lip, wondered if he should really go through with it, but no one had to know. He could just do it this once, get it out of his system, and then just as easily refold the sheets exactly how Zara preferred them.
It was kind of ridiculous how wide his grin was as he got himself ready in the hallway bathroom, brushing his teeth and changing into a loose tank with some thin pajama bottoms, but just knowing he’d finally do it put a smile on his face. He set up the bed, huffed as he stretched for the final corner, placed his bag on the floor by his feet . . . and sank down onto the softest mattress he had ever lain on.
No way was the mattress as old as Nicky had assumed, and he wondered if Joe had recently replaced it during one of the rare weekend visits Zara had managed to rope into him once every couple of years. Nicky didn’t even have to adjust as he rolled onto his side, the foam top contorting around his shape, encasing him in a soft embrace that cooled his skin. Even the pillows were well cushioned, and Nicky practically hummed as he closed his eyes, and pulled the blanket over him.
Just one night, he lied to himself, and closed his eyes.
‘Home sweet home,’ Joe chuckled to himself in the dark as he fumbled for the hide away key.
Had he simply told anyone he was coming home for the summer, he would have been greeted by his mother’s tears, and his brother’s warm hugs, but it was meant as a surprise for them - and it would have been a good one if his plane hadn’t been late.
The original plan was for him to be there by dinner - ring the bell, sport his best grin as his mother squealed in delight when she opened the door, and tell them all about his new job. He had kept some space between his family and himself when it came to this job hunt, because Joe knew he was unable to keep a secret when asked directly what was going on, he had the worst poker face. So he lied by omission, telling himself he was sparing their feelings in case the job offer didn’t come through after all, when really he just didn’t want to admit out loud how much he was looking for something different, something closer to home -
His new job started in two months, and between a hefty severance package, and a month to month lease that ended the week before - Joe knew his family wouldn’t mind at all if he took a much deserved, and much needed vacation in his childhood home.
He had worked hard to get to this point in his life, and as patient as they were about his hectic schedule, Joe knew there was some weight behind their teasing about his inability to come home more often. And the truth was, he didn’t disagree, he loved his family. He genuinely hadn’t intended to be as busy as he was for so many years, and Joe felt his lack of visits as much as they did. So though some people might not understand why a grown man wanted to move back into the area with their family, and he’d heard enough horror stories from some of his students to know it wasn’t always so simple, but for Joe - their family had lost his father when he was nine, and going through grief like that together had linked them in a way. Plus, he just genuinely loved them, too.
Joe knew that neither would mind if he woke them up this late at night - well, technically morning, but he felt downright mischievous as he quietly rolled his suitcase into the front closet. He’d tiptoe through the place, set an alarm for the morning before anyone else woke up, and make everyone a hearty breakfast. Joe could already imagine him sitting at the dining room table, as if he hadn’t just appeared out of nowhere, and acting like his unexpected appearance was the most natural thing in the world.
But first, he’d allow himself some much deserved rest after spending the majority of his day at two airports.
Joe meandered past the closed doors of their bedrooms, grateful that his puttering around downstairs had been as silent as he had hoped, and headed towards the end of the hall to his old one.
His mother really was one of the kindest people he knew - always prepared with a fresh set of sheets, and up to stock toiletries bag - as if he would ever expect such a thing. He was grateful to even have a room still that hadn’t been converted into something she could have use for. But tonight, when his legs were tired, and his eyes bleary from traveling, he appreciated it in a deeper sense.
Opening the door to his room, he left the light off, guided enough by sense memory as well as the slithers of moonlight that cascaded over the old carpeting to make his way to his bed and drop the smaller bag in the middle, to pick up the sheets at the end -
Instead, someone groaned and Joe may or may not have let out a high pitched screech as he snapped back at the sound.
He fumbled his way to the lamp on the nightstand, but whoever was in his bed was quicker, and having managed to grab it before he could - now shined it in his face.
‘What the Hell?’ Nicky gripped the handle of the lamp tighter, his eyes still adjusting to the sudden burst of light, as his heart beat furiously at whoever the heck was standing over him.
Of course the moment he realized it was none other than Joe - squinting behind a hand he was holding close to his face - and seemingly just as confused as he was, Nicky haphazardly returned the lamp to the night stand as he tried to find the words to apologize, “Joe -”
“Nicky?” Joe slowly lowered his hand and blinked down at him, “Wha-”
“I’m house sitting,” he blurted out, practically ready to bolt out of the room, but even having spent as many vacations together as they had in the past, Nicky preferred to change before leaving a bedroom so he was fairly certain that Joe’s long look up and down his tank was new. Or he really was that sleep deprived, and was seeing things that simply weren’t there. In a way, it would be nice if this embarrassing moment turned out to be a dream.
“Wh-” Joe laughed, the warm kind that rolled right over Nicky’s tense shoulders, “But why are you in my bed?”
Nicky tended to take the pull out couch, sometimes a fold out in Yunis’ room, but they were both fully aware that this was not the norm, and Joe had every right to question why.
Nicky just couldn’t admit it out loud. So he ignored it all together, mumbled his apologies, and pushed the blanket off of his legs to swing them over the edge of the bed, “I can sleep in Yunis’.”
“No no,” Joe smiled, as if he really had no idea how much that beautiful smile made Nicky’s heart ache for things he could not have, and already began to pick up his bag from beside him, “I can tonight, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Joe,” Nicky almost reached over, just to stop him from trying to give up his own bed so easily, but thought better of it and let his hand fall back, “Really, it’s fine, I’m sorry, I just obviously wasn’t expecting you to come home for a visit, Zara hadn’t mentioned it.”
“Oh,” Joe smirked - the cheeky kind that made Nicky want to bite the inside of his cheek just to avoid the feelings it did to him, “It was a surprise for them.” And then, as if it was the most casual thing in the world to say, as if it didn’t set up every internal alarm in his body, Joe winked , “Actually I’m home for the summer.”
Nicky was grateful for the low lighting, certain that at least some of his face was partially obscured, which hopefully aided in hiding the shock in his face. But there was no way he could hide the surprise in his voice, not when it wavered a bit as he tried to explain why he was even there, “I should go then, I’m sure you can watch your own house just fine, and I - “
“What?” Joe chuckled, as if the suggestion was ludicrous, “Nicky you’re just as welcome here as I am.”
‘Stop being so charming dammit,’ Nicky wanted to grumble, his traitorous heart roaring inside of his chest and pumping out the repetitive message of ‘just tell him the truth.’ His shoulders sagged and he knew he had to say something before Joe dared to ask him why he had gone silent. A talker like him tended to assume silence meant more than it did sometimes. In this case that was true, but certainly not as often as Joe seemed to think. Nicky needed to get ahead of this -
“So how long are they gone for?” Joe asked, tipping his head in that lovely way he did, “I mean, if they’re coming back tomorrow, I could just go with my original plan of - “
“The next six weeks,” Nicky interrupted, not on purpose, but because he didn’t know if he could really sit there and let Joe ramble all cheerfully over plans that wouldn’t be possible.
His eyes widened for a moment, then his smile got bigger, “Well, I fucked that up.”
The corner of Nicky’s mouth twitched, both because of the fact that Joe rolled with things like no one he had ever come across anywhere else, but also because hearing him say the word ‘fuck’ tended to go straight to his cock. Not that Joe was aware of either of those things, simply swung his bag over his shoulder, and shrugged, “I’ll call them, and maybe they’ll head back -”
“They went to Tunis,” Nicky shared, feeling terribly sorry for being the bearer of the news, “I’m sorry, Joe.”
“Oh you didn’t cause it silly,” Joe’s smile reached all the way to his eyes, and Nicky had to grip the blanket harder under his direct stare, “I should have just told them I was coming home.”
Then he began to turn, as if that was that - as if he would just head down the hall and Nicky was supposed to still sleep in his bed, which just seemed like a downright ridiculous scenario at this point, “Joe, really - I can head -”
Joe waved his hand, “No really, stay. Yunis told me about you being in between places, and this place is big enough for us both, stay as long as you’d like.” And Nicky didn’t know how to reply to that, his mind swirling with the words as he tried to process it as quickly as he was receiving it. It didn’t help when Joe paused at his door, and looked back at him from over his shoulder, still grinning as he was completely unbothered by anything, “But I would like my room back by tomorrow night please.”
Nicky could only nod, and even after Joe closed the door behind him, he sat there for almost half an hour mulling over what it would mean to live with Joe - just Joe, for six weeks.
Joe had settled in Yunis’ bed easily enough.
Obviously he had never expected this turn of events, and with the time zone difference, didn’t mind calling his mother on video chat since he knew she’d be up anyways. It rang exactly twice before the screen filled with a vision of clear blue skies, before she appeared in the frame, looking as lovely as ever, “Hi Mama.”
“Hi Yusuf,” she beamed, as cheerful as ever.
Yusuf paired a raised eyebrow with a sly grin, “So - I heard you went to Tunis.”
“Sorry my love, I knew you had hoped to go with us two years ago - “
“Oh no, I’m glad you went,” he quickly shared, not wanting her to worry she had caused him offense somehow, “And I’m glad Yunis is with you.”
She let out a dry huff of a laugh, “I’m not that old that I need a travel companion.”
“Of course not,” he smiled, “I just wanted to call to let you know I came home for the summer.”
“You what? ” she exclaimed, her body practically jostling in her chair, “Yusuf Al-Kaysani are you serious?”
Joe flipped the camera for a moment so he could show the dimly lit area of his surroundings, “Yup, meant to surprise you - “
“Oh no,” Zara pouted, Joe getting his flair for expressive dramatics from her, “I cannot believe I’m here and you’re there!”
“Same,” he shrugged, finding it far funnier than she did, though he restrained himself from the hearty laugh he felt bubbling up his throat, “When are you hoping to be back?”
“We just got here two days ago, and plan to be back in six weeks,” she gave him an observant stare, one filled with hope and worry all at once, “Will you still be there?”
“Yup, but I’ll tell you more about that once you’re here - “
“Wait, why are you in my room?” Yunis appeared in the frame, a faux look of shock on his face.
“Hi Yunis - “ Joe waved.
“Hi Yusuf,” Yunis greeted him, before he playfully narrowed his eyes, “Why are you in my room?”
“Well, I didn’t get here till like twenty minutes ago and might have gone into my room only to find Nicky sleeping in it,” he had been rubbing the back of his neck, hoping that all didn’t sound as awkward as he felt. He had played it coy with the man, but he was still awfully distracted by the whole encounter.
“Awkward,” Yunis laughed, “I bet you gave him a nosebleed.”
“He was fine,” Joe dismissed the idea that he’d have any impact on Nicky - he was like a brick wall in almost every way, “He did try to suggest he could leave -”
“I hope you invited him to stay after all Yusuf,” Zara was quick to chime in, looking genuinely concerned he might not have.
“Of course,” Joe assured, “We’ll play musical chairs - room edition tomorrow, and he can hang out in here.”
Zara looked relieved, and sat back further back in the iron chair of the café they were at, “Good, he deserves a place to rest in between things.”
“Agreed,” Joe replied, and they fell into several more minutes of casual conversation after that. About the travels they both had had, and running in terminals, and weight restrictions of bags - yet Joe must have nodded off at some point, because he heard Yunis calling his name louder than he had before, and blinked them open in surprise, “Sorry.”
“Go get some sleep brother,” Yunis smiled, “And we’ll chat later.”
“Later,” Joe repeated, a round of ‘I love you’s’ spoken before he finally hung up and sank down into the bedding beneath him.
He turned onto his side, staring at the wall between himself and Nicky, wishing it wasn’t there - wishing he would have made some excuse as to why it made all the sense in the world for them to lay in that bed together.
Joe drew his knees closer, a familiar ache in the pit of his stomach as he turned away, hoping it would help. But he knew from experience it wouldn’t.
How was he ever going to make it six whole weeks?