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“There you are,” Shane said as he reached the hammock where Ilya was lounging. “Wasn’t expecting to find you out here so early.”
Ilya turned and took in the sight of a still sleep rumpled Shane. He'd thrown on some shorts and Ilya's tank top – which was too big on him in the most adorable way. His hair was up in a hasty bun, and he still had the crease of his pillow on his left cheek. He looked absolutely perfect.
Ilya stretched out an arm, wiggling his fingers to entice his husband to come closer. Shane chuckled and took his hand, pulling it up to kiss his knuckles.
“Anya wanted to go out,” Ilya explained just as their dog came running back towards the hammock with a bright pink ball in her mouth. She dropped the ball in Ilya’s hand and crouched low on her front legs, tail wagging furiously, waiting for Ilya to throw the ball. Which he did, much to her delight.
“You’re playing fetch from the hammock,” Shane couldn’t help but point out. “You’re getting lazy, old man.”
Ilya scoffed at Shane’s remark, making him grin broadly. “She was up very early, and I was still tired. And what about you? Is what, noon now?”
“It’s only 8:30.”
“You are usually up before me. Who is lazy now?”
“You kept me up past my bedtime.” And there was that grin again. Ilya couldn’t even say it wasn’t true, it was part of the reason he was tired himself.
“Was worth it,” he added with a smile of his own as Anya returned with her ball. “Go see Shane, I’ve been doing this forever.”
Anya didn’t even hesitate, squeezing under the hammock to reach Shane, dropping the ball at his feet. Shane had to let go of Ilya’s hand to have a chance at a decent throw with his right arm. Since he wasn’t lying down, he managed to get it much further than Ilya had.
“Show off,” Ilya couldn’t resist but say. “Shoulder okay?”
“Yeah, it’s better actually.” Shane was stretching out his arm and doing circles to loosen it up. A rough hit during the playoffs still bothered him, and Ilya couldn’t help being a bit concerned. Neither of them bounced back from injuries quite as quickly anymore. “I thought for sure she’d sleep this morning after the kids ran her ragged all week.”
“She did sleep all afternoon yesterday,” Ilya pointed out.
It had been true, once the Pikes had packed up and left after brunch the previous morning, Anya had grabbed her plushie hockey stick, gone to her doggie bed and had been dead to the world until dinner time. She’d eaten and went down to the firepit with them where she slept on a chair until it was time for bed. Ilya had tried to convince her to go for a walk and she hadn’t even moved.
Ilya couldn’t really complain about Anya being so low maintenance. Hayden and his family had been with them at the cottage for almost 5 days, having driven up with Shane and Ilya after the Ottawa hockey camp had ended. Ilya hadn’t been able to convince Shane to do anything more than kiss during their visit, and he'd taken advantage of their alone time the moment they’d left. And that night too, as per their very late bedtime.
He would have liked to sleep in this morning, though.
“She slept a whole weekend after Chiron was here,” Shane recalled the time when they dog-sat for Troy and Harris when they went on a trip.
Ilya frowned. “You do not think her and Chiron-“
“No. Can we not think about that?”
Ilya shrugged. “She could do worse than Chiron.”
“Pretty sure a few people said that about you when they found out about us.” Ilya tried to poke Shane, but he just dodged the attack, walking towards where Anya was coming back at hyper speed. “Last one, then we rest for a bit,” he told her when she was close enough, scratching her ears, making Ilya smile.
Ilya had no doubt Shane would be the parent who enforced all the rules someday. Even with Hayden’s kids, he had been far better at saying no to extra popsicles and treats than Ilya had been. Jackie had teased Ilya that he would understand someday, when it was his own kids, but judging by how Hayden was having trouble saying no to them too, Ilya wasn’t so sure. Hayden had defended himself by saying he felt guilty for not being around during hockey season, so it was harder to say no to them. Shane had once told Ilya he was soft with the people he loved most, and he’d been so right. Ilya knew he wouldn’t be able to resist any of their future kids, and he’d become the biggest pushover.
“I really thought she’d have been more chill today,” Shane added before turning back to Ilya, his voice pulling Ilya out of his thoughts. “What’s up? You’re looking way too thoughtful for barely 9 am.”
Ilya shook his head, not quite sure how to put his thoughts to words. “It is very quiet without the kids here. I didn’t think I’d miss it.”
Shane’s expression softened like it always did when any hint of their future came up. Almost like he couldn’t believe it would happen, that any of it had happened even. Ilya often felt the same, if he was being honest. It still felt surreal that he got to have Shane, fully and completely, and the world knew about them and they weren’t retired. Their plans had gone to shit, and yet they had thriving careers still, and they were happy. The hockey world hadn’t imploded. There were shaky moments, sure, but he was beyond thankful he got to enjoy everything he wanted, and it didn’t involve sacrificing anything else in their life.
“Not that I ever want four kids,” Shane clarified with a laugh that Ilya echoed with a resounding no. “That is way too much, but I miss them too.”
“Come here.” Ilya opened his arms and Shane shook his head in response.
“We’re going to fall out.”
“We will not, come on.” Ilya stabilized the hammock with one foot on the ground and Shane awkwardly managed to get in, lying chest to chest with Ilya, legs and arms tangled and wrapped together. “Relax. I will not let you fall. Promise.”
Ilya felt Shane’s body slowly relax against his and he couldn’t resist kissing his forehead.
They swayed quietly for a while, Anya finally resting on the ground next to them. Ilya could have fallen asleep right there, with Shane wrapped in his arms, drawing patterns and lines on each other’s skin.
“We don’t have to wait, you know,” Shane said quietly enough that Ilya almost missed it, caught in that space between wakefulness and sleep.
“Wait for what?”
“Kids.” Shane kissed Ilya’s shoulder. “I want a family with you.”
“I do too, but we cannot do this while we both still play hockey.”
“I know, it wouldn’t make sense to do it now. If we decided to adopt it could take a long time for it to happen, right?”
Ilya agreed. “It could also happen quickly and then what would we do?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Shane was quiet, letting his thumb trace random shapes on Ilya’s waist. Ilya knew he was trying to find a solution to somehow make it work.
“It isn’t bad to talk about and see what we want,” Ilya suggested. “Lots of kinds of adoptions, yes?”
“Yeah, we’d have options to look at for sure,” Shane replied like he already knew the answer.
“You’ve already looked at this, haven’t you,” Ilya teased him.
“No, I haven’t researched it or anything. I’ve just been thinking about it. With Bood having his second soon, and you playing with Arthur and Amber in the pool this week… it’s been on my mind for a while.”
“Me too.”
“Everything else has gone better than we expected. And I know it’s not the same as just people knowing we’re together. This would completely change our day to day lives. But it’s hard not to think of when I see everyone else from the team with their families. How it could be nice. Having our own kid. Our own little family. And I don’t even mind if they’re a bit older too if we do adopt. I love seeing you with everyone’s babies, but I don’t mind. I just want a family with you. Maybe- I dunno, maybe we can even look at adopting from Russia?” Ilya let out a long breath, and Shane shifted to look at him. “We don’t have to, it was just something that crossed my mind-“
“Is not that,” Ilya reassured him quietly, squeezing his arm and kissing his forehead again resting their heads together. “When Zane told us about the baby, I had my appointment with my therapist later that day. Was telling her it is frustrating sometimes. How hard it can be for us, you know? Was just venting a bit, not upset really. And when I mentioned adoption, I said something like that. About adopting from Russia. Would be nice, giving someone a good life here with us. She was telling me they do not let couples like us adopt.”
“What?” Shane breathed out incredulously.
Ilya sighed sadly. “I know. Is not surprising, I guess. They do not allow any countries where it is okay for us to get married. Like, no one from Canada can adopt from Russia, because anyone can marry who they want here.”
“That’s terrible. Ilya, I’m so sorry.”
“It is fine. Just shows I made the correct decision to leave. Who knows, maybe it changes someday in the future. If not, there are lots of places we can adopt from.” Shane hummed in agreement, but he sounded far away and sad, probably much like Ilya had felt when Galina had told him the same thing months ago. Shane finally let out a sigh and hugged Ilya a bit tighter. “It doesn’t have to be adoption, right,” Ilya said, reminding himself as much as asking.
“No. We could always have our own with a surrogate.”
Ilya smiled widely. “That is what Rose offered, yes? The night we all got very drunk when she visited last summer. I said I could sleep with her to save all the medical stuff.”
Shane hid his face in Ilya’s neck at that reminder. Ilya kissed his head and laughed. “Please do not ever remind me of that conversation, ever again,” Shane laughed. “I don’t think I could take her up on that though.”
“Can’t imagine me and her in bed?”
“I’m not sharing you, no. But. She can’t sit still, so our unborn child would be jetting across the world all the time. She’d probably give birth on a plane somewhere and we’d miss it.”
“True. Besides, our DNA together? That kid would be far too beautiful. The world is not ready.”
Shane propped himself up looking affronted at Ilya’s suggestion, making the hammock wobble precariously. Ilya held him a little tighter as he bit back a smile. “What if it was my DNA, huh? I’m not ugly.”
“No, you are not,” Ilya replied much more fondly than he expected. When the hammock settled, he moved one hand to Shane’s cheek, rubbing his thumb over Shane’s freckles. “If you think I am soft with Hayden’s kids… I don’t think I could ever say no if our kids looked like you. Would be too much.”
Shane opened his mouth to answer but instead leaned in and kissed Ilya. “I love you,” Shane whispered against his lips, brushing their noses together. “You’re going to be such an amazing dad someday, Ilya. I can’t fucking wait.”
Ilya wasn’t sure he could reply without his voice giving away the swell of emotions running through him, so he returned Shane’s kiss instead. “We could maybe meet with someone, when we go back to Ottawa? See what all the options are,” Ilya suggested when his emotions had settled.
“That would be nice, yeah.” Ilya kissed Shane again, pulling him close, deepening the kiss until Shane let out a happy groan that attracted Anya’s attention. “Couldn’t you give us 5 minutes,” Shane asked her playfully when she barked at them.
“She is probably hungry. We should go get breakfast.”
“Sure, but how do we get out of this thing?”
“Are we stuck here all day then?” Ilya looked down at Anya. “You will have to chase a duck or something for food. Maybe a squirrel.”
“Don’t say that,” Shane chuckled as Anya started running around, looking for squirrels.
Ilya sat himself up, one leg swinging out awkwardly on either side of the hammock to stabilize it while Shane manoeuvred himself off the hammock without falling. He followed Shane, grabbing his hand and calling Anya back to the cottage with the promise of food.
Neither of them knew how the future would unfold, other than knowing the best laid plans didn’t go as expected more often than not. But Ilya had no doubt that they’d get their family, sooner or later. And no matter when they got their family to expand, it would be fine with Shane at his side.