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For one night they had everything. For those few hours, the world was theirs as hands were placed on appropriate waists and personal spaces were invaded with welcoming smiles. It was a night where nothing seemed to matter because people were dancing, the music was blasting and the lights were flashing- so why not lean into the energy of a high school prom?
Ever since middle school, Anne spent hours daydreaming about what prom would be like. Ideally, she saw herself going with Sasha and Marcy- no exceptions. Except one was rumored to like a new girl every week and the other moved away a few years prior. So maybe she couldn’t get what she always wanted, but going with her new friend group didn’t sound bad either. These people were nice, funny, and caring- though nothing like Sasha and Marcy.
Regardless, she went dress shopping with her mom weeks before the set date. She talked about it with friends and even heard murmurs of who was going with who in their grade. And a part of her didn’t want to hear Sasha’s name unless it was to say she’d be going alone. She knew she should be happy if Sasha did find someone to go with, but if she didn’t, Anne wouldn’t complain. Besides, Anne was going with friends only so it’d keep things even if Sasha did too. Whatever “even” meant to her.
The day of, the group chat was bursting with her friends being excited about prom, and as much as she wanted to join in with the joy, she couldn’t help but dwell on how this was supposed to be going. Sasha and Marcy should be here in the room with her. They could all be doing each other’s makeup and laughing about silly whatevers. Sasha should be yelling at Marcy for not sitting still while doing her eyeliner and Marcy should be helping Anne zip up her dress. They should all be gawking at each other over the outfits they chose. Yet, Anne stood in her room with a buzzing phone, herself and Domino.
“You miss them too right? It’s not just me?” Anne whispered, leaning down to pet the cat she knew would never leave her side. Figuratively at least, because Domino stretched and went to lay on a stray shirt Marcy had left on the floor of her closet that Anne never had the heart to pick up. She sighed and collected her things to head out. One of her friends was supposed to pick her up in a few minutes, so Anne said quick goodbyes to her parents and almost avoided their usual lectures. It mostly consisted of basic rules she’s heard a million times before.
Luckily for her, a few honks outside and the cheer of her friends were enough of a call to have her rushing out the front door. She met her friends with a cheery smile and joined them in the car. The music was already blasting and everyone seemed so happy and she felt weird not being able to relate as much. Surely prom had to be more fun than this, but maybe she just has her expectations set too high- she’s not even at the venue yet.
Each friend hopped out the car one by one once it’s parked. A closer friend of the group takes Anne’s hand and drags her inside and Anne has to do everything in her power to ignore how much she didn’t like it. Maybe she was just worried her friend would accidentally ruin the carefully assorted set of bracelets and rings she had on. Yeah, that was it.
She hoped things would get better from there as she continued her quest of finding enjoyment in the one event so many people considered “the biggest part of high school.” But even when they made their way into the venue and her entire grade was there chatting below the music, she didn’t feel anything different.
“Anne! Come on! Let’s take a pic at the booth before everyone else hogs it!” A friend yelled, dragging her across the venue with a few other friends in tow. Anne didn’t want to go, but she mentally cursed at herself for being such a Debby downer and followed with a forced smile. It didn’t go as bad as she thought it’d be, it was fun even. Her friends made her laugh with silly faces and absurd fails of which were all captured from within the booth they crammed into.
Things were starting to look up after that. She stayed close to her friend, the one that looked more than determined to hold her hand as much as possible throughout the night. Anne got used to it and eventually just considered it a way to not lose each other. They got punch and a few snacks, even found themselves dancing in the middle of everyone else until their feet started to ache.
“Alright, I’m gonna go get us some more punch, I’ll be right back Anne!” Her friend bounced off the seats they had found to rest at and ran off into the crowd- leaving Anne alone to watch everyone live their lives. She liked this though, watching, it’s what her future job would be anyways so might as well start training early.
And it was okay for a while. She saw a few couples sneak off as if no one would notice. She saw people she knew were in relationships kiss people she also knew were not their partners. But it’s not like she could do much, so she just laid back and kept to herself as the music served her company.
At least that’s how it was until two girls she’s sure were part of Sasha’s friend group sat nearby. They mostly talked about hair and makeup for a while but then Sasha’s name popped up and Anne couldn’t help but tune in.
“Oh yeah I know! Did you see her outfit? Oh my gosh, I’d kill to see my partner in that. Do you know if she brought anyone?” The first girl spoke, and that was enough to make Anne lean in closer without even noticing.
“I saw! Ugh the red velvet style is sooo fitting! But I’m not sure. I think if Sasha brought someone we would’ve heard about it by now, right?” The second girl replied. If Anne wasn’t intrigued yet, she surely was now. What was Sasha wearing and did she or did she not bring someone with her? These were questions everyone dwelled on regarding their childhood best friend who they sort of stopped talking to as much… right?
“I’m back! Ugh the line was so long, but I got you some punch and I was wondering if you wanted to go dance… just the two of us this time. I heard the others sort of just ran off with their partners-“ Her friend plopped herself down beside Anne, shoulders touching, and leaned into her as she spoke. But Anne’s lack of attention didn’t go unnoticed. “Anne? You okay?”
“Y-yeah! I’m listening, sorry. It’s just hard over the music, ya know?” She let out a nervous laugh and scratched the back of her neck before finding the strength to look back at her friend.
“Ok… so how about that dance? I heard we got some slower songs coming up. It might be better than jumping up and down for a few minutes straight…” Her friend stood and extended a hand out for her to take. So, innocent as ever, Anne took it and let herself be led back to the dance floor. But the whole time, she’s scanning the room for that familiar blonde hair she’s known all her life. She also stayed on the lookout for anyone in a red dress just to make sure she covered all her bases. Then suddenly, she found exactly what she was looking for, blonde hair, beauty mark and scar, all tied together by the eyes of someone clearly not having a good time- Sasha. She couldn’t lose sight of her so as Anne was about to excuse herself, her friend slowly wrapped an arm around her waist and everything derailed after that.
Sasha
Right off the bat, Sasha was having an awful time. She didn’t want to be here and she didn’t even know why she came in the first place. Maybe it was all the years she spent being the popular girl at school that made things like this necessary to show up at, but she really wished she didn’t. Her friends, as fun as they could be at times, were also rowdy and annoying if left unchecked. And she stopped being the checker ever since Amphibia, so it all just became a game of keeping her feelings controlled.
From the moment she parked her car and entered the venue, her sight was on one thing only- Anne. She heard Anne would be here from her friends as they passed down the hall but none of them mentioned her going to prom with anyone in particular. So of course Sasha had to go to prom and make sure everything went well. Even if she and Anne didn’t even interact that night, it still made her feel better to know she’d be there if Anne needed her. So she went and now she’s standing in the crowd doing nothing but holding a cup in one hand and her hopes in the other.
She scanned the room for exits and threats like she did everywhere she went; it was a parting gift from Amphibia. But she was also in search of Anne, again, in case she needed anything. And once she finally found the brown curly hair she remembers pulling leaves out of, an independent smile stretched across her face. At least until she found another girl pulling Anne around with hands intertwined and the clearest love struck eyes Sasha had ever seen on anyone other than Marcy or Anne. It was so obvious. So much so that Sasha had no doubts Anne saw it too… they had to be dating. How did Sasha not hear about this?
Even through the rising ache in her heart, she kept watching as Anne’s friend so obviously gushed over her. Her friend was smiling, fixing Anne’s hair, brushing her shoulders, holding hands- the whole nine yards. The only thing that made Sasha look away was the sudden waist grab. That was her threshold- feeling too many emotions to process at once and turning away to prevent a pileup.
A distraction. That’s what Sasha needed. She ran off to some other part of the venue and found the snacks- trying each and every one no matter how good or bad they looked. But then that got boring, so she ran off to find her friends as they almost broke the photo booth. At this point she just wanted to forget about what she saw and the implications it brought. Anne wasn’t hers, hadn't been for a while, and she had every right to see other people. Sasha knew this and agreed, but why did it still hurt this much?
Anne
“Woah, dude that’s… I thought we were just having fun,” Anne said as she flinched and pulled her friend’s hands from her waist.
“We were, but I thought it was clear I was flirting. I mean, all our friends came with their partners and we have been side by side the whole night…”
“Flirting? No, I was just going along with you because we’re friends,” Anne felt bad for how this was turning out, but she knew how to keep her boundaries now more than ever and she wouldn’t make herself do something she didn’t want to do just to make someone else happy.
“Geez, Anne. I guess they’re right,” Her friend slouched her shoulders and rolled her eyes before crossing her arms.
“Right about what?”
“You! I mean, you’re so closed off. No one can get near you. I’ve had the biggest crush on you for months and you didn’t even notice. Countless other people had blatant crushes on you too and you didn’t notice those either. Everyone just sort of assumes you’re untouchable or something. It’s weird.”
Awful. This night was really awful and Anne was right about wanting to stay home. But her parents would only be able to come pick her up in a few hours and she didn’t want to worry them, so her best choice was to just pull through- even if she felt a huge lump forming in her throat. Don’t cry. Don’t.
“Look I’m sorry I’m just not looking to date anyone… Why is that so bad? And I still like you as a friend!”
“Whatever Anne, I tried, okay? But I can’t promise anyone else will,” With that, her friend walked off and Anne felt like disappearing into some random corner of the venue until there were only crickets. If it wasn’t bad enough that she felt awful about what just happened, her tears were starting to ruin her make-up and then everyone would know there was “drama”. Next thing she’d know, the whole grade would be talking about it and making up rumors that’d only blow this whole thing out of proportion.
In hopes of avoiding that, she lowered her head and tried to navigate the crowd until reaching some kind of private sector of the venue. She got pretty far, bumping into people’s shoulders here and there until she just full on slammed into someone- drink spilling on both their outfits. Great.
“Sorry, I’m so sorry-“ Anne was already rambling an apology when she looked up at last and found those familiar eyes looking right back at her. At first there were furrowed brows but upon realizing who had bumped into her, their face softened.
“Anne?” Sasha whispered. She was more confused than anything, but then she saw the stream of mascara running down Anne’s cheeks, any confusion was overshadowed by worry. “What happened?”
“D- don’t worry about it. I’ll pay for your suit. Tell your mom it was me, okay?” She tried to walk away but Sasha held onto her wrist with little to no force and spun her back around. It didn’t matter how long it’s been since they last spoke, Sasha couldn’t let her leave like this on her own.
“Come here,” Without struggling, Sasha led Anne through the leftover crowd until the music faded and they sat outside by the inner courtyard of the venue. It was a beautiful garden, even in the darkness of the night. “It’s quieter here… I figured it’d help.”
Anne remained silent- sitting on a nearby bench and tucking her knees into her chest. Sasha just leaned on the stone half wall that separated her from the plants and waited for some indication on what to do next. She thought maybe Anne just needed some time to collect herself.
In terms of speaking, having Anne with her head turned away wouldn’t work, but for now it did. It allowed Sasha to really look at her without fear of judgment. Anne’s blue dress complimented every possible aspect of her being, even sparkling in the moonlight without looking obnoxious or tacky. Anne’s hair was up in a loose pony tail- gently sparkling like her dress along with a singular blue flower hair pin Marcy had sent in the mail.
“You can leave if you want to. I’ll be fine,” Anne finally spoke, though her words were muffled as her face remained tucked into her knees. “I’m sure your friends are gonna be looking for you and I don’t want to keep you from them.”
“I could fall through the ceiling and they wouldn’t notice. I think it’ll be fine,” Sasha replied, swatting a nearby leaf that hung by her face. She crossed her arms after as Anne looked up at her to seem more put together than she really was.
“Hhm, good friends then,” At least Anne chuckled and slowly let her legs down to a regular sitting position. Still, Anne kept a hand by her own arm as the awkwardness retained its weight in her heart.
“Eh, they keep me from getting bored. Didn’t really expect anything else from high school. What about your friend group? Any better?”
“It was… I’m not sure anymore. Not after tonight at least,” Anne turned away again, feeling her chest tighten just like before.
“Does any of this have to do with that girl you were with? What’s her name? Kayla?” Sasha figured she probably shouldn’t have asked, and she was right because Anne turned back and smirked at her. It was a clear indicator to Anne that Sasha had been watching her during the night, but to Sasha’s luck, she didn’t mention it- only turned back around and stared at the garden.
“It’s Makayla…” Anne had a fond smile as she spoke the name, but it died down when the last syllable disappeared, “but sort of. I guess she had a crush on me and I didn’t see it. I don’t really want to talk about it though, if that’s okay…”
“Yeah that’s fine. Just had to make sure I didn’t have to kill anyone-“
“Sash.”
Anne’s interruption was familiar. It’s partially the reason they’ve been falling out. Sasha always tried to be in the front lines of Anne’s life, and since Amphibia, a lot changed. They changed. Anne didn’t seem to like the over protectiveness anymore, especially not when Sasha resorted to violence, no matter how much of a joke it was. Maybe it had something to do with the memories of all the times Sasha protected her back in Amphibia or the guilty feeling she’d get whenever Sasha got yet another scar because of her. Generally, being around Sasha just made it harder to move on and forget- even if it wasn’t Sasha’s fault in the slightest bit.
“Sorry. I just meant I wanted to know if you’d be okay on your own,” Sasha tightened the grip around her own arms, crossing them even tighter. The pressure was nice in moments like this but it didn’t entirely help with how heavy the air got- again.
“I’ve been fine.”
“Ok well, how shitty has it been?” As she sat on the bench beside Anne, Sasha ignored the implications of Anne’s words to keep things light. With a response like that, Sasha could tell Anne hadn’t been as alright as she’d been leading on.
“What? High school or prom? Because both have not been what I thought they’d be,” Anne sighed and leaned her back onto the bench, subconsciously leaning towards Sasha just the slightest bit. They could see the moon perfectly from this position, thinking- rather- hoping this one would stay in space as it should.
“Both works. I agree though, I don’t think either of us really considered spending our high school years without Marcy so now it’s just… all disappointing,” Her voice sounded more melancholy than Anne remembered it sounding, but then again, she hardly heard Sasha’s voice at all as of recently.
“Ya know, I always thought of us meeting at my house to get ready. Marcy would probably be more focused on a game launching at midnight than actual prom and we’d be late because you couldn’t land on an outfit...” Anne felt a faint smile on her own face, one that quickly left when she remembered this was all an ideal of what they couldn’t have.
“Hah, probably. You think she’d let me do her make-up even after I accidentally stabbed her eye that one time?” Sasha chuckled and looked over at Anne, realizing her dress was still wet from the punch she dropped when being rammed into. Naturally, Sasha pulled out her handkerchief and wiped the side of Anne’s dress dry. In turn, Anne flinched and looked right back at her.
“What are you doing?” Anne seemed uncharacteristically serious and part of it caught Sasha off guard. She still had moments where she forgot they’re not thirteen anymore and lost some of that casual intimacy they used to have. Even if it hurt to realize, she respected Anne’s boundaries and pulled away- merely offering up her handkerchief in case Anne wanted to dry it off herself.
“I was just cleaning the punch. The dress looks too nice to be stained and wet,” Sasha replied, managing to compliment the dress rather than Anne as she originally intended. She watched the walls Anne built between them lower again and her face softened- it almost seemed like she felt guilty.
“I’d worry more about your suit, that looks expensive…”
“Oh it is. But my mom also bought three more so I don’t think she’d really mind if this one came back a little scuffed. So come on, just take the handkerchief.”
Anne was bound to decline but the smile Sasha gave her made it impossible to do so. She missed this, Sasha and her unique way of getting under Anne’s skin in the best ways possible. It made life exciting and Anne appreciated how they both contrast and complement each other.
“Fine, but only because I don’t want to smell like fruit punch all night.”
“There you go! I knew you couldn’t resist my charm,” Sasha bumped her shoulder against Anne’s and handed over the fabric, watching Anne smile as she wiped the juice away. She knew her face was hot and probably visibly red, but the night helped mask her vulnerability and she allowed herself to watch Anne under the stars. She could live in this moment forever.
Anne handed the fabric back with a thank you, leaning back on the bench with a low sigh. She wanted to go home, sure, but leaving this position right now sounded like a waste. She hardly got to spend time alone with Sasha anymore so might as well do it now. One thing that hadn’t changed though, was Sasha’s need for something to do.
After anxiously tapping her feet, Sasha patted her own knees and stood up- extending a hand out to Anne. One of which was taken without question or hesitation even if Anne had no idea of what Sasha had planned. A part of her trusted Sasha enough to lead them towards something good while another part just didn’t want to be away from her again. Not yet.
“So, where are we going?” Anne asked as they first began walking, looking down at their hands intertwined with a smile. It felt good this time and she didn’t understand why it felt wrong with her other friend earlier that night. Regardless, she accepted how it made her heart flutter and refused to remove her hand or mention the act at all.
“I looked up the blueprints to this place before getting here and there should be a way up to the roof-“
“You looked up the blueprint? Geez how much have you been talking to Marcy over the phone? That’s some Wu habits right there,” Anne tugged at her hand and signaled for Sasha to stop and turn around without needing a single word. She was showing off a crooked smile at Sasha and watched as her friend admired it before replying.
“Yeah I looked up the blueprint in case of an emergency. And also because I knew this thing would be a bust the moment I heard we couldn’t bring people from other schools.”
“Oh. Did you… were you going to bring someone?” Anne lowered her gaze and looked at the grass beside the stone path they stood on, hoping the disappointment wouldn’t betray her through her voice. Why was she even disappointed?
“No, not really. But the county next to ours usually throws really good parties and I bet if they came to our prom, it’d be a lot more fun. Don’t worry though, I only have eyes for you,” Sasha now stood beside Anne and put an arm around her shoulder, dramatically drawing out the last sentence to tease her.
“Ugh get off! You really haven’t changed,” Anne giggled as she freed herself from Sasha’s hold, feeling surprisingly bubbly after the interaction and regretting not letting Sasha stay around her. She was slowly coming to the realization that with Sasha, proximity didn’t feel suffocating- it was rejuvenating.
“Hey! I’ve changed! I don’t get into fights anymore,” Sasha crossed her arms and tapped her feet but couldn’t help but smile at Anne as she kept up the quiet giggles. Then Anne’s brows furrowed as if she challenged her statement. “Fine, I don’t get into as many fights. But you have to admit some of these people are unbearable.”
Sasha extended her hand out for the second time that night and Anne took it without hesitation once again. They kept walking down the garden path as the moon watched the two giggle and bump into each other beneath its light. When one wasn’t looking, the other would steal a peak and it became a light hearted game of affection twister. Surely if the moon could really understand what was going on, it’d roll its eyes at two best friends so hopelessly in love with each other.
At some point they discarded the roof idea and sat down on the grass for a while. They talked about prom, the food, the people, how they prepared for it- just anything to pass the time. But Sasha heard one of her favorite songs start playing inside and she reconsidered going back into the chaos. She loved having this moment with Anne, and it’s been going so good that she might as well see how lucky she can get.
She stood up without warning and Anne stopped talking to watch her brush herself off. Sasha grabbed both of Anne’s hands and lifted her up, keeping one hand intertwined as she tried dragging Anne back inside.
“Where are we going weirdo?” Anne snorted, holding onto her dress as she ran and repressed bubbly giggles.
“I love this song!” Was all Sasha replied with, along with a quick turn of the head so Anne could see her smile. And for a moment it all slowed down for Anne- taking in every second she could as Sasha’s hair flew with the wind and her smile remained reserved just for her. Sasha’s eyes were still as appealing as they were all those years ago and her heart filled with warmth. Even if she didn’t want to go back inside, she followed Sasha. She could spend the rest of the night following her if it meant never having to say goodbye.
Sasha plowed her way through the crowd while making sure Anne was still behind her. And once they reached the center of the dance floor, She pulled Anne close-laughing at how ridiculous this whole thing was. One day you’re fighting off an army and the other you’re a regular teenager at prom with a stupid crush on your childhood best friend. Whatever happened that night, before or after, wouldn’t matter as long as she focused on the time she got to spend with Anne.
“Did you ever learn how to dance?!” Anne yelled, leaning in closer so she could be heard through the music.
“Nope!” Sasha yelled in return, smile poignant and hands sweaty as she held Anne’s own and shook it. Their palms pressed together and it felt like a puzzle finally put together. She jumped side to side in the stupidest way, letting her hair become a mess in the process. And maybe she’d care if Anne wasn’t laughing at her with the brightest expression she’s seen in a while. Anne jumped with her too, both careless for how silly they must have looked- it’s not like anyone was paying attention anyways.
That’s how they stayed until the song ended and Sasha winded down from the excitement. She panted and couldn’t help the fixed look she had on Anne, especially since Anne stared back- being the first time they actually looked each other in the eye for longer than five seconds. But it turned from excitement and weariness, to a longing feeling. It would be so easy to lean in and kiss each other. So easy.
“I- I have to go to the bathroom. Wait here?” Anne said, breaking their moment with a face tainted red. Either from the physical exertion or the thoughts she was trying to ignore. Sasha nodded and watched her weave her way through the crowd while doing the opposite of ignoring her thoughts. She knew how much she liked Anne and gave up trying to repress it after Amphibia. So she let herself watch Anne through the crowd with nothing but adoration. The mere thought of Anne choosing to come back to her had her stomach fluttering with the warmest feeling.
—
Excited and eager to get back to Sasha, Anne rushed into the bathroom and rushed right back out. Except she bumped into someone right outside the door and instead of letting her move past, this person stayed in the way. So Anne apologized assuming that’s what the person wanted. Yet still, the person wouldn’t move and Anne finally turned her gaze away from where Sasha should be and at the girl in front of her.
“Is she the reason you’re so closed off all the time?” Makayla spoke, letting down her previously crossed arms- slight hint of jealousy, hurt and acceptance in her voice.
Anne stammered for a reply, completely caught off guard by the inquisition. She couldn’t reply with anything but a stuttering and confusing mess.
“Look, I get it. She’s pretty and she clearly has a thing for you so just- stop pretending ok? It might save some people the heartbreak,” Her friend finally turned away and let her through, but this time Anne didn’t have any strength to move her legs. It was a lot to take in, especially from someone who wasn’t there in Amphibia. Someone who had no idea what it was like to look Sasha in the eye and say goodbye while fearing it’d be the last time. But it turns out that just about anyone could see what the two so blatantly felt for the other.
So after taking a moment to think, Anne looked back at the crowd and found Sasha waving at her. Maybe she should have taken a couple more minutes to think. Maybe she should have walked back to Sasha at a normal pace and maybe she should have just danced like before with nothing else in her mind. But the moment she was in front of Sasha again, laughing and dancing as if the world outside this venue dissipated, she simply didn’t think. Maybe her friend had a point. Stop pretending.
“I really like your dress by the way! It totally suits you!” Sasha yelled, letting a hand brush over Anne’s shoulder like she’d been dusting it off. Though her eyes scanned the entire dress up and down which gave Anne the opportunity to examine her as well.
“Well look at you! Now that’s a suit!”
Sasha laughed and failed to hide her blush, but Anne was looking for it so her odds were completely unbalanced.
“I’m really happy we’re here together…” Anne said, loud enough to be heard yet mellow to make sure her genuine gratitude was heard.
“Yeah, I’m happy about it too. I really missed you,” Sasha replied, honing all her attention on Anne.
Anne repeated that last part in her head over and over until it sounded wrong. She missed Sasha too, so much, and she felt bad for how they’ve been talking and hanging out less. But Anne knew a part of it was healthy and neither of them would continue to grow if they didn’t expand beyond themselves. It wasn’t easy though and she still wished she could have more.
“I really missed you too…” She slowly removed her hands from Sasha’s own and slid them up her forearm. Anne could tell Sasha was catching onto the moment, the heavy pull like that of a magnet between their hearts. There was a fear that Anne had, one which imagined Sasha trying to make the first move. She didn’t fear it because of what would come out of the scenario, but she was scared that if they went down that route, Anne wouldn’t have the strength to allow it to happen. So instead, Anne jumped the gun and leaned in- not leaving any room to back down.
“Stop pretending” she repeated in her head as her hands tightened around Sasha’s forearms before letting them find their way up to her cheeks. The same scared cheek Anne used to hold back during a war- belonging to one of the two people she’s loved for as long as she could remember. Sasha caught on almost immediately, looking into Anne’s eyes so intently that Anne thought she had turned to stone. Though her body still moved and before she knew it, her lips crashed into Sasha’s own.
She heard Sasha let out a surprised gasp before sighing into it; she almost giggled from how the air tickled her face. But she was too lost in the warmth pooling in her stomach to care. All her focus was placed on what mattered: the gentle hands that held onto her waist, the subtle way they stepped close into each other’s space and the reassuring pressure against her own lips as Sasha kissed her back.
After a moment, Anne leaned away and looked up at Sasha as both eyes fluttered open. She smiled and felt her heart start racing all over again when Sasha smiled back. No words were exchanged, nothing except the exasperated breaths muted by the music and the silent agreement to lean back in and do it again as if that was their only purpose in the world.
God did it feel like another world they’d entered. Falling back deep into another kiss, Sasha placed her own hand over Anne’s as it’s warm touch started to burn through her skin. But after a moment Sasha felt the cold air between them and knew it was the distance, so she let go and allowed her hands to land back against Anne’s waist and gently pull her on. With hands freed, Anne let them come up to Sasha’s hair and kept her from leaving. For however long it lasted, they didn’t let go- just kissed and kissed until air became the only thing between them and this moment. Even after that, they ignored everything they knew was right and wrong to kiss again. Anything to feel that again.
But there was a moment when it hit them, and Anne looked down to let their foreheads connect. They kissed. That was now a fact. Not only that, but they kissed multiple times. Thankfully no one around seemed to care as none of them paid much attention, but Anne cared. This was purely out of impulse, a poorly crafted plan designed by a rushed and positively overwhelmed mind. But this had real consequences, many of which could really leave a dent in their already sensitive friendship. At least that’s how she saw it.
“Sash… I-“ Anne couldn’t even figure out what to say but it was clear by her expression alone that she wasn’t as joyful about this as Sasha was.
“What’s wrong, was it bad- did I hurt you?“ Sasha still had her hands by Anne’s waist, which Anne had hardly paid much attention to until now. It didn’t feel wrong like it did with her friend, in fact, it felt too good. And if she didn’t let herself go she was scared she’d never leave this moment- forever lost to the touch of someone she couldn’t let herself have.
Anne screwed her eyes shut and shook her head hard before letting herself go from Sasha’s hold and disappearing into the crowd. Sasha did her best to follow, but Anne was smaller and faster. In a matter of seconds, everything she had ever wanted was lost with the wind.
--
Minutes later, Anne found herself sitting outside by the grass again. The same place she had been sitting with Sasha before they went back inside and ruined everything. She ruined everything, at least whatever they had left anyways. She didn’t even care about her makeup at this point- letting the tears come until she felt her phone buzz.
She pulled it out of her dress pocket and saw Marcy had been calling her. Assuming Sasha had sent Marcy to talk to her, Anne declined the call and threw her phone down on the grass. But then a text lit up her screen, “dude I want to show you my Minecraft house :(”
Anne giggled and wiped her tears away before picking up the phone again. She called Marcy back on facetime and watched as her friend remembered she was at prom.
“Oh my gosh! Anne! I forgot your prom was today! You look so pretty!” Marcy screamed over the phone. All she could see was Marcy’s forehead as she leaned in for a better look.
“Thanks Marbles. You said you wanted to show me your Minecraft house?”
“Yeah but that can wait, go have fun! Wait-“ Marcy leaned into the screen again and frowned, “is your prom outside?”
“Uh… no not really. But the venue has a garden and I’m just getting some fresh air,” Anne hoped that’d be the end of that, but they’ve been friends for years and Marcy could feel something was up. That’s when she noticed the faint stream of mascara Anne had tried to wipe away.
“What happened?” Marcy’s voice was calm yet stern, releasing a certain comfort Anne didn’t know she was needing.
Anne slouched her shoulders and her mask dropped, “I don’t even know where to start Marbles… I wish you were here.”
She brought her phone up to her forehead and closed her eyes. This was as close as they’d get.
“Me too… but I heard Sasha is going. Did you two plan on meeting up?” Aside from feeling helpless from a few thousand miles away, Marcy still did her best to help cheer Anne up. Whatever happened, they could talk about later, but she hoped to at least get Anne back on her feet.
At that same moment, Anne caught sight of Sasha stepping outside in search of her. “Y-yeah. We met up…”
“Oh good! I’m sure she’ll make you feel better for me-“ Even as Marcy spoke, Anne couldn’t help but keep looking as Sasha finally saw her on the grass. She was walking up to her and Anne was running out of time to once again avoid this confrontation.
“Marbles I gotta go… b-but I’ll call you when I’m home? Okay? Bye!”
The urgency in Anne’s voice and expression was concerning but there wasn’t much Marcy could do. She could tell Anne would hang up anyways. “Oh okay, Bye! I hope you feel better!”
Anne waved through the phone and hung up right before Sasha reached the end of the path- refusing to step onto the grass.
Sasha stood there like a dog left on the highway. She fiddled with her hands and kept her gaze lowered before finding the courage to speak, “why did you run off? Did I do something?”
The grass Anne nervously ripped from the ground snapped and the sound brought her consciousness back. Anne sighed and patted the patch of grass beside her, which Sasha sat on with only some minor hesitation. Even after she sat, Sasha waited and waited for Anne to say something, but she was silent. It was agonizing, “I’m not expecting anything, Anne. Not a date, not another kiss… I just-“
She paused and took a moment to think if she’d really want to say this now. She’s kept these feelings bottled up for so long though, there’s no way she’d be able to keep it to herself after tonight. As scary as it was, Sasha exhaled and looked up at the sky before finding her voice, “I like you. A lot. And it’s okay if you don’t like me back, but I feel like I’m partially owed an answer here. Just a ‘no, I don’t like you back’ would work.”
Unsurprising, Anne groaned to herself and tensed up her shoulders before sighing and easing up again. She turned to Sasha and met her with apologetic and sympathetic eyes. Right as Sasha was about to speak again, Anne shook her head and looked straight towards the garden.
“It’s not a no, Sash. It’s not simple like that,” Anne finally managed to say, finding solace in the way the garden statues were decorated with the moonlight- almost made it seem like they were in a fantasy world.
Silence fell for a while after that. So much happened in such a short amount of time that it made big things like this even harder to process.
“If it’s not a no… then is it a yes?” Sasha inquired, looking at Anne for some kind of body language to read. Though all she could scramble together was Anne closing her eyes the same way people did right before announcing bad news- it was an awful thing to experience really. She knew this wouldn’t end well and there was enough time to dwell on it until Anne finally replied.
“It’s not a yes either. I mean, it is, but I don’t… I don’t think I want this. Not now.”
“Oh.” It stung, but at least Sasha knew where Anne stood and it was partially a relief.
“Listen, I like you. More than I really want to admit, but we hardly even talk as much as we used to-“
“Then we could talk more. I tried hanging out with you more but you didn’t seem interested sometimes so I just.. stopped,” Sasha confessed, interrupting Anne with slight desperation to salvage this. They weren’t even dating, yet it all felt like a break up. But if the problem was just them falling out, Sasha figured she could fix it. No problem, right?
“I haven’t hung out with anyone at all, Sash. It wasn’t just you. I’ve been studying and getting ready for college…” Anne seemed to be avoiding her main point- finally finding it when she looked down and saw Sasha’s hand right beside hers on the grass. “I mean, us? Dating? Do you really see that working out for longer than a week?”
“Yes! I do. Because I like you so much, Anne, more than I know how to handle. A-and we survived Amphibia, our friendship survived all of that. We came out stronger than how we came into that world. I think if we made that work, we could make this work too,” Sasha let her desperation die down to give Anne some time to catch up. She looked down at the grass and recounted a memory she has been thinking of since they lived it.
“Remember back in the castle right before we went to save Marcy? And I was having a hard time forgiving her so you… you held my hand and you told me to look at what you and I had now. I don’t really know what you meant back then but I would now if you let us have this. I mean, you said it yourself! We have something, right?”
“Had. Sash. We had something. And then we saved Amphibia and said goodbye to everyone we loved. Marcy moved and we started high school… It’s not like how it used to be,” Anne hated the loss of life in Sasha’s eye. It felt like slowly dragging a sword out of her gut and not caring for how the blood dirtied both their hands.
“You can’t do that. You can’t keep trying to tell yourself that. I mean, you kissed me. I didn’t even plan on doing that but you did. Did it just mean nothing to you?”
“Of course it meant everything to me!”
“Then why are you still acting like it didn’t! Is it that bad to love me?” Sasha’s voice was breaking and Anne realized just how hurt and vulnerable Sasha was. She was truly putting herself on the table and giving Anne the scalpel with teary eyes. Her heart was in her hands.
“Because it’s terrifying! Loving you isn’t the problem, it’s actually the easiest thing to do and I’ve been doing it since the day we met. But I love you too much to lose you and I’m scared that if we do this, then everything we tried so hard to keep just… vanishes. What if we aren’t meant to date and have a horrible break up where neither of us can even look at the other. And Marcy! She’ll get caught up in the middle of it. Do you wanna risk losing what we have with her too?”
“I know it’s scary. When you were teleported back to earth and I stayed in Amphibia I had to accept that I lost you and Marcy. But somehow you came back, lost your shoe again and somehow ended up with leaves in your hair. I don’t know how but you always bounce back and I think we can too,” Sasha found the strength to look up at Anne and admire the sincere look of consideration Anne was giving her, “So no matter how much of a ‘risk’ you think it is, I’m willing to bet on us. I know we can make it work. Besides, I literally saw you vanish into thin air and then come back like nothing happened. Because of that, I think the universe might be on our side.”
Of course the universe was on their side. Anne had met the universe and spoken to it like some casual friend. But with everything that’s been revealed in the past five minutes, Anne needed a better breather, so she turned away and paid more attention to the building’s architecture. It wasn’t just about college or the possibility of messing up. That would always be an obstacle no matter what. But in the grand scheme of things, it was about Marcy as well. The same things Anne felt for Sasha, she felt for Marcy, and it felt unfair getting together without giving her an equal chance.
“What about Marcy?” Anne asked, finally looking back at Sasha.
“What about Marcy?”
Regret. She immediately regretted bringing this up especially since Sasha replied with a tone that almost sounded annoyed. In hindsight it was really just Sasha’s surprise of having Marcy be brought up in a moment like this that made her come off more intolerant than she really was. And because of that, Anne had started to lose her hope.
“Ugh I don’t know Sash! Saving the world felt easier than this,” She flopped back onto the grass and accepted the possibility of the ground consuming her. At least then she wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore. Her hands were placed over her face as she blew air straight out of her lungs- until Sasha twisted around to look at her with a look of newfound knowledge.
See, Sasha had put the pieces together. Not like they were hard to connect in the first place, she just never really considered it a fathomable thought until now.
“Do you like her too?” Sasha asked. Anne would have been more terrified by the answer if Sasha didn’t sound like the dilemma was something she understood too. So Anne nodded and grumbled something into her hands. She heard Sasha let out a low chuckle before she felt the calloused hands cover her own and remove them from over her face. Anne let it happen with little rebellion, giving Sasha the attention she wanted. “I like her too. But I haven’t told her… it’s too..”
“Complicated?” Anne finished her sentence and sat back up with Sasha. After the initial fire of their conversation, she felt like they were finally reaching the real problem and it felt nice to know it wasn’t a lack of love that kept them apart. This they could learn to handle.
“Yeah, complicated. I wasn’t going to tell you I liked you, not when things have been kinda weird but… after you kissed me I thought there was a chance. I don’t know,” Sasha looked down at her hands and let out a complacent smile. “Do you think maybe in the future, if things are better and we get Marcy back, we could try again?”
Understanding, Anne leaned against Sasha and let her head rest on her shoulders. She slowly slipped one of her hands into Sasha’s own and squeezed it. Yes. A million times yes. “I’d love to try again someday.”
As bittersweet as this was, she appreciated the chance they were giving themselves. Sure it still hurt to know they couldn’t have what they wanted yet, but at least their bridges weren’t being burned. Sasha squeezed their hands together and leaned her head over Anne’s, “I hope college treats you well, by the way. Don’t let those asshole professors get under your skin, Boonchuy.”
“Hm, I won’t. And you better not get into some petty fight and lose your scholarships over it, okay?” Anne poked her side and allowed the tension to slowly roll off their backs. For now they could just pretend that everything was fine.
“You think too highly of me,” Sasha replied playfully, poking Anne in return and feeling her friend snuggle closer to her instead of reciprocating the tease. “but I promise to try and be a good role model.”
After that, there was a comfortable silence as the two looked over the garden. Aside from everything that happened, the world kept turning. Everyone inside still danced and sang to horrendous pop music while the moon still shined overhead. In a way it was comforting to know things would always keep moving, even if it was scary to know they could fall and get left behind. Even then, sitting here together with hearts open for the other to see felt like they were keeping up.
They’d have to get up eventually though, a thought they both dreaded.
“Anne?” Sasha whispered, nudging her head down just a bit to look at their hands still intertwined. Anne replied with a hum and it was enough indication that she was listening. “I know we both agreed to wait and try again later. But, do you think a goodbye kiss is too weird?”
At that, Anne lifted her head and gave her a curious smile, “a ‘goodbye kiss?’ Really, Waybright?”
Sasha thought she messed up at first but when Anne giggled, she felt air come into her lungs with a bit more ease again.
“Y-yeah. Like a promise that says ‘Goodbye for now but I’ll meet you again when things are better” you know? We don’t have to if you don’t want to… it was really just a silly suggestion,” Sasha felt her hand be let go of and thought that’d be a hard “no.” It was a big promise to make at eighteen, especially with their friendship already being at the edge of a cliff. But she figured they’d either fall off or find a way back to safety, and this time, Sasha wasn’t going to be the one to let go.
But surprisingly, Anne looked around before settling her eyes back on Sasha- nodding and sitting on her knees with anticipation. Unsure if that was a clear yes or a no, Sasha just looked back at her until Anne made the first move again. She was leaning forward and something in Sasha’s heart caused her to put a hand between them and keep Anne at a distance, “Wait-“
The sudden urgency in Sasha’s voice startled Anne and she flinched, looking over her to find what was wrong.
“Can I kiss you this time? You started the first one so I think it’s only fair I give it back.”
Anne nodded but Sasha asked for her verbal confirmation, to which she gave as well. That was enough for Sasha to nervously shake her hands in the air before sitting on her knees and eyeing Anne in the moonlight. Mentally, Sasha was guiding herself through every step. Her hands were placed by Anne’s cheeks and she had to scoot closer for better leverage, all of which felt like it took way longer than it actually did. Time did seem to slow when one of the loves of your lives is patiently waiting for a kiss.
“Ok… so can I?” Sasha asked one more time, face close enough to feel the way Anne exhaled as she nodded.
“Just one,” Anne replied, smiling and letting a hand trail over to Sasha’s leg for support leaning forward. She enjoyed seeing how red Sasha’s face could get and she already knew she’d miss this once it was over.
“Just one,” Sasha echoed before closing her eyes and slowly leaning in- finally committing to the act. She could feel Anne warm up to it the moment their lips met and that’s when she decided she didn’t want to ever let go. She made sure to enjoy every second and every detail of the moment- how Anne scooted closer until their knees touched, or how Anne lingered the first time Sasha tried to pull away. It had been just a test anyways, to see if Anne really wanted to let go, but since she didn’t, Sasha just let it go on for as long as their lungs could handle.
A burst of sudden sound startled the two apart and they both turned to where the disturbance came from. One of the chaperones had been opening the big doors that led outside to collect all the students since the night was coming to an end. It led them to end their moment faster and less gentler than they wanted to, but neither wanted to be yelled at.
“Come on, I’ll drive you home,” Standing up first, Sasha helped Anne get back on her feet. She could still feel the smear of lipstick on her own face, most certainly from Anne, and looked over at her to see if it really did smear. And it did, causing her to laugh as they quietly walked back to the main area.
“What are you laughing at?” Anne gently pushed Sasha to the side before looking at her own dress to see if she got any grass on it.
“Your lipstick got all messed up, dude.”
“Oh I wonder why,” She shoved Sasha again but didn’t resist it when Sasha wiped her face clean with the sleeve of her suit. They really didn’t have any regard for their outfits anymore- grass stained, wet and forever marked with the night’s events. Anne thanked Sasha for the help and the two walked the rest of the way to Sasha’s car in silence.
Anne knew Sasha just recently got a new car but she hadn’t gotten the chance to see it yet. Now that she sat in the passenger seat with the top down, she wondered why she hadn't hung out with Sasha in this thing sooner. The silence throughout most of the drive reminded her why though. It’s not that they were on bad terms, obviously, but with everything going on in their lives it became easy to leave messages on read and calls unanswered. Now, there was nothing to leave on read except words lost in the night.
Neither of them saw this rift forming but when they did, it was already too late. Different friend groups, busy schedules and dry conversations didn’t help either, but they still said hi whenever passing through the hallway. They always acknowledged each other’s presence with joy and familiarity, besides, it was still them. The same people who’ve had each other’s backs since elementary school. There was no chance they’d ever be apart for good.
“Tell your parents hi for me, will ya?” Sasha said, parking in front of Anne’s house without her even noticing.
“Come in and say hi to them yourself, I miss having you over,” is what Anne wanted to reply with. But instead she smiled and nodded to acknowledge the request. Even then, she didn’t get out of the car- couldn’t bring herself to end this yet.
Sasha noticed her hesitation and understood it far too well. It made her heart ache but when Anne made the decision to stay apart, she agreed and she’d respect it until Anne said she was ready. So even if Anne had a hard time with this unspoken contract, Sasha did her part and helped Anne through it. “Why don’t I walk you up to your door?”
With a lowered head, Anne nodded again and heard as Sasha exited the car before opening the passenger door. She hoped Sasha would extend her hand out again so Anne could take it, but she didn’t and the two had to walk up the pathway hoping the other would say something. Neither of them wanted to say goodbye even if it wasn’t the same type of goodbye they gave Marcy when she moved out. They’d still be in the same state, probably even the same city, but this goodbye was for their friendship as they knew it. Not an end to it, but a break- accepting it’s hit a dry patch.
“Well uh, this is you…” Sasha put her hands in her pockets and raised her shoulders awkwardly considering she couldn’t be the one to just open Anne’s door for her. Not when Anne is the one with the key.
“Right. Listen I know… I know I said I didn’t want to date yet, and I’m not going back on that but, that promise. The one about finding each other in the future, do you really think we can keep that?”
A moment of silence passed before Sasha looked down at her shoes and shrugged, “I don’t know. I mean, I want to say yes. But we also made a promise to go to prom together, all three of us, and here we are. So really, I can only hope we do.”
“Well, if that promise falls through, I promise to not forget you. Kinda hard to do that even if I wanted to but… that’s a promise I know I can keep.”
“Same here, Boonchuy,” Sasha did her best not to let her tears spill over right then and there. She’s been holding it together since their talk on the grass and she didn’t know how much longer she could keep this up. To her luck, Anne did her best to smile and lunged forward for a tight hug.
“I’ll try harder to keep in touch, okay?” Anne’s voice was mumbled as she dug her face into Sasha’s neck- trying to find solace in a place she’d forbidden herself already.
Feeling her walls crumble faster, Sasha couldn’t reply with anything but a nod and a tighter hold around Anne. They were all they had left from the past. Marcy moved, Amphibia was unreachable, school would be over soon, and all they’d have left without each other are scars and memories. Still, it felt like this was the only path to go down no matter how bittersweet it felt.
Eventually Anne had to let go and head inside after having given Sasha a few extra thank you’s and a painfully sincere smile that showed just how much this hurt inside. Sasha couldn’t do anything but watch her disappear into the house she’s slept over at so many nights. She stood there on Anne's porch for a good while before accepting the goodbye and heading back to her car where she finally broke down.
They both cried a lot that night. After each removed their outfits and carefully put them away to keep the past from eroding the memories held by each thread of their clothing. They clutched to their blankets like it’d keep them tethered together no matter how much time pulled them apart- without a care in the world for what they really wanted. This was life, It was real and painful but what else could they do rather than go with the motion of the universe? They’ve managed to find each other in a whole ‘nother world and that’s what kept their hope alive, even after months rolled around and life kept moving. Even after failed relationships and real life hardships made them hopeless, that promise kept them looking up.
And every night, when the moon gained its superiority over the sun, they looked up at the sky and knew they’d be looking at the same set of constellations. They could have been so great, but it wasn’t time yet and they knew that. Maybe there’d never be a “right time” but who were they to judge the waves of life?
Even after that night, month after month passed and their promises began to weaken. It no longer felt like they’d ever find the “Better” days where they could finally meet once more and try everything again. It felt like each day they’d forget the other’s laughter and what it felt like to feel each other’s heart beat during a hug.
At least until Anne saw Sasha walk into the aquarium years later. Marcy was with her and for a moment, her heart knew this was it. When they went out for drinks and Anne opened her presents, she knew they were the real gift. And towards the end of the day, they all went to Sasha’s place to catch up. Then the day after that, they caught up again and again until it was no longer “catching up.”
Another year rolled by and it was clear that they made it. Holding her wives’ hands now was enough evidence for Anne to know they kept their promise.