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Zhuzhi-lang is only a child when he first learns about the dangerous nature of humans.
He's small, barely the length of the forearms he so covets, and with the help of adrenaline and slippery scales he is able to slither out of the thick grasping fingers that attempt to pull him from the water.
But in his brief glimpse of the world above the waves, he sees the unforgiving sun glint off the loops of iridescent pearls his would-be captor wears around their neck with pride. Dozens upon dozens of precious gems. Precious tears.
Zhuzhi-lang does not have the ability to cry but he knows what happens when other merfolk shed tears. The pearls that drip from wet lashes have an unmistakable sheen that can’t be imitated by other means.
If Zhuzhi-lang had been captured, what might the humans have done to him after realizing he has no tears to give them?
Nothing good, surely.
Zhuzhi-lang returns to the deep with a new fear in his heart, swearing that he’ll never rise so close to the surface again.
This is, of course, before he meets Tianlang-jun.
“I’ll never understand your trepidation towards humans. I love them. They have a unique charm that our kind lacks,” Tianlang-jun says as he runs the pads of his fingers along the teeth of a wooden comb inlaid with jade. “And they invent such pretty objects.”
Zhuzhi-lang keeps quiet. Junshang only thinks such things because he’s never known the darker side of humans. Or, well, he knows exactly what they’re capable of but the horrors don’t frighten him. If anything, he’s more intrigued by the various atrocities they often commit.
He’s also incredibly biased.
“What does trepidation mean?” Luo Binghe asks as he kicks his legs into the ocean. Black scales appear and disappear on his skin wherever the water touches him.
Tianlang-jun tosses his comb up first, then lifts himself onto the pier to sit with his son. They don’t look much alike. Xiao-Binghe takes after Su Xiyan in appearance. The only things he’s inherited from his father are pointed ears easily hidden by unruly dark hair and eyes that are of such a deep red color that they’re almost black. Not to mention the ability to grow gills and a tail when fully submerged in water. But he’s still just a child; there may be more abilities that have yet to show.
“It means your cousin is scared—”
“Wary,” Zhuzhi-lang interjects softly.
“—and he doesn’t like humans,” Tianlang-jun finishes.
“Oh.” Luo Binghe frowns. “Does Zhu-ge not like me, then?”
Zhuzhi-lang is quick to shake his head from where it just barely peeks above the water. “Of course I like you.”
Tianlang-jun pats Luo Binghe’s head. “The human part of you is good, baobao. Zhuzhi-lang is just shy. It took him ages to warm up to your mother.”
Zhuzhi-lang can’t argue with this. Su Xiyan still makes him a little anxious but now it’s less about her status as a human cultivator and more about the deadpan way she teases him. Junshang and his wife truly are made for each other.
“Speaking of my beautiful wife…” Tianlang-jun glances at the empty beach behind them. “Where is Xiyan?”
“Secluded cultivation. I think she’s trying to avoid her new disciple,” Luo Binghe says matter-of-factly.
“Your mother doesn’t take disciples.”
Luo Binghe shrugs. It's an elegant movement, very reminiscent of his father. “She took this one.”
“Then they must be a unique talent. I hope she brings this mysterious new student the next time she–”
Zhuzhi-lang pops his head below the water, muffling the continuing conversation above. He cannot think of anything worse than some strange human intruding on their family… Ah, no. On Junshang’s family. Zhuzhi-lang is not included.
But still.
He will have to be more careful the next time he breaches the surface. Just in case Su Xiyan has decided to bring whoever this human is. It doesn’t hurt to be cautious. And someone certainly has to be because Tianlang-jun is anything but.
With a splash, Luo Binghe joins Zhuzhi-lang under the water. His hair floats around him in silky waves as he paddles in place, waiting until his legs gradually merge to become a glistening tail; black scales interspersed with swirling red. He smiles and his teeth are sharper than they were a mere moment before.
“Is Zhu-ge leaving? We haven’t even played yet.”
“No, I…” Zhuzhi-lang pauses his explanation, tilting his head. “Wouldn’t you rather play with your father?”
“But you swim faster.”
“Only a little.” Zhuzhi-lang attempts a shrug, but he doesn’t quite have shoulders so it’s more of a wiggle. He can’t complain; it’s taken him many years to gain a form with the ability to do this much. And others seem to understand the gesture well enough. “Binghe is fast too. I’m not sure I’ll give you the challenge you seem to desire. But if you truly wish to play…”
Luo Binghe’s eyes are wide, innocent and pleading. Zhuzhi-lang is far from immune to such an expression.
“...you’ll have to catch me first,” Zhuzhi-lang says mildly before he slithers off, quick as a whip.
Luo Binghe laughs and speeds after him.
Ever since Luo Binghe left the ocean in favor of learning to cultivate like his mother, it’s been difficult for the merfolk side of his family to see him. Huan Hua Palace is not close by; the nearest body of water is the Luo River, only known to them because of the disastrous circumstances surrounding Luo Binghe’s birth.
But that’s another story.
It takes no time at all for Luo Binghe to catch up to Zhuzhi-lang. The child slides past him, flipping around to grin expectantly. He continues to swim backwards and Zhuzhi-lang curls his tail around Luo Binghe’s waist to keep him from going any further.
“Careful,” Zhuzhi-lang chides. “Always look where you’re going.”
Luo Binghe raises an eyebrow. “There’s nothing but water behind me.”
“But one day there might be more.” And as much as Zhuzhi-lang wishes he could always be around to protect him, it simply isn’t feasible.
Luo Binghe attempts to squirm free from Zhuzhi-lang’s tail. He pouts when this proves too strenuous a feat. “Baba was right. Zhu-ge worries too much.”
“I… No, I don’t.” Zhuzhi-lang blinks. No matter how many years he’s had eyelids—and the ability to close them—it’s still somewhat of a novelty. He does it a couple more times as he takes in the fact that Tianlang-jun talks about him. “I worry an appropriate amount.”
Luo Binghe gives him a flat, disbelieving look. Zhuzhi-lang sighs in his heart. This child is far too much like his father.
Zhuzhi-lang slowly unfurls his tail, using the tip to boop Luo Binghe on the nose as he pulls away. “A deal is a deal. What does Binghe wish to play?”
Luo Binghe perks up immediately. “Hide-and-seek!”
“All right, just don’t go too—”
Luo Binghe has already shot off to find a hiding place.
Zhuzhi-lang sighs, “Far.”
No matter. Zhuzhi-lang is used to dealing with Tianlang-jun’s stubborn willfulness. He has no issues handling Luo Binghe’s similar disposition. He closes his eyes and begins to count.
Junshang, his wife, and their child are everything to Zhuzhi-lang. He loves them as he will never love anything else. He will do his best to protect them. Always.
Even if that means cheating at hide-and-seek.
He’s been tracking Luo Binghe since the moment the child left. His sensitive ears amplify all sound, whether he likes it or not, and he knows exactly which way Luo Binghe went.
Zhuzhi-lang smiles to himself, still counting, as he begins to slither in that direction.
He is content to move slowly while he follows the faint sounds and shifting flow of the water around him. But soon enough, he reaches the spot where Luo Binghe has…
Popped halfway out of the water?!
He seems to be talking to someone; Zhuzhi-lang shrinks back by instinct.
This area is not too far from the shore, though they are quite a ways away from where they left Tianlang-jun. And Tianlang-jun doesn’t have the ability to walk on land.
Su Xiyan has secluded herself for the time being and is unlikely to be here. So then who could Luo Binghe be conversing with?
Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t get close—wary as he is of strangers—but he does gather the courage to sneak a tiny peek above the waves. He makes sure not to show too much of himself, only the very little needed to see what’s happening.
And what he sees is…well…it's a boy.
Slightly older than Luo Binghe, with long dark hair tied back at the nape of his neck.
A human.
“–and then I remembered Shizun said I might find you here,” the human says, removing a small cloth-wrapped package from his sleeve. “I'm not sure why she entrusted it to me first but I found this in my room with a note saying you would know how to deliver it.”
“It must be for my dad. You can just toss it to me.” Luo Binghe holds out his hands.
The human's brow pinches. “But won't it get wet?”
“It’s fine if it does.”
“All right, but…” The human pauses, his gaze shifting to meet Zhuzhi-lang’s bright yellow eyes. He reaches for the sword at his hip.
Zhuzhi-lang-lang gasps, quickly sinking beneath the waves. His tail begins to curl around Luo Binghe in an effort to drag him back down to safety but Luo Binghe ducks his head underwater.
“Zhu-ge, it’s okay! That’s Gongyi Xiao, my mom’s new disciple. He’s harmless.”
Zhuzhi-lang knows better than anyone that no human is harmless. He stays down below while Luo Binghe accepts the gift, bidding Gongyi Xiao farewell. And the rapid beat of his heart has still declined to slow by the time they make their way back to Tianlang-jun’s side.
Zhuzhi-lang does not grow more comfortable around Gongyi Xiao as time goes on.
In fact, he makes certain never to let the human see him at all. It’s not difficult to do; Gongyi Xiao hardly ever comes around. Only to deliver a message to Tianlang-jun here or there, sometimes following at Su Xiyan’s heels.
It seems he knows Su Xiyan’s family isn’t human but he is probably unaware of their royal status. The more powerful a merfolk family is, the more humans desire to use them to enhance their cultivation. It’s one of the reasons Zhuzhi-lang was so hesitant about Tianlang-jun and Su Xiyan’s relationship all those years ago.
Tianlang-jun and Luo Binghe can call Zhuzhi-lang overly cautious as much as they like but he doesn’t trust this human one bit. And he refuses to give Gongyi Xiao the chance to draw his sword on him again.
At least not before Zhuzhi-lang has cultivated a body with fingers. As it is, he’s begun to form stump-like protrusions where arms should be. A few more years and he’ll definitely have more of a means to defend himself.
Venom is fine but it requires one to get up close. Zhuzhi-lang would rather not. He doesn’t like the way people—merfolk and humans alike—tend to look at him. Like he’s…a monster or something.
He left too quickly before to see if Gongyi Xiao’s eyes held such a look but Zhuzhi-lang assumes this boy is no different from the others.
Why should he be?
Tianlang-jun nearly overturns Su Xiyan’s thin boat as he pushes up to kiss her. It tilts dangerously but Su Xiyan doesn’t seem to mind, calmly keeping her balance where she kneels at the edge. One of her hands is braced against the boat and the other cups the back of his neck.
Zhuzhi-lang watches from the water as Luo Binghe hardly stumbles from his place next to her, years of training keep him standing steady. He’s tall now, lean-muscled and strong, cutting a handsome figure in Huan Hua Palace’s white disciple robes.
No longer a child.
He shares a look with Zhuzhi-lang, torn between embarrassment and affection. “We’re going to be late.”
Su Xiyan gives Tianlang-jun one last little peck before pulling away, standing up as the boat rights itself. The tips of her ears are pink but her expression is otherwise calm. Tianlang-jun flops back into the ocean, flipping his fins happily.
“As if they would start the Immortal Alliance Conference without the winner,” he says.
Luo Binghe stands straighter, preening under the attention. “I haven’t won yet.”
“Don’t allow ego to get in the way of your skill,” Su Xiyan says mildly. A lock of hair has slipped out of his high ponytail; she casually tucks it behind his ear. “Though I can’t imagine you won’t do well.”
“Good luck.” Zhuzhi-lang smiles, a hint of his fangs poke past his lips. “I’m sure Binghe will take first place.”
Tianlang-jun waves a flippant hand. “He’s my son, of course he will.”
“Unless Gongyi-shidi can finally best me.” Luo Binghe’s dark eyes glint with hidden amusement. “It’s not impossible.”
Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t like to be reminded of the human but his curiosity gets the better of him. “He’s not as strong as you are?”
“It isn’t his strength that’s lacking.” Luo Binghe tilts his head consideringly. “He’s just very…”
“Straightforward,” Su Xiyan suggests.
“Mn. He’s skilled but easy to predict. Unwilling to do anything he deems dishonorable during a fight, even if he might lose.”
Zhuzhi-lang turns this over in his mind, unsure what to think. It’s difficult for him to imagine Gongyi Xiao as honorable. Surely there is something more to this boy under the surface. Humans tend to be like that.
Su Xiyan and Luo Binghe soon set off; they can no longer dawdle if they wish to be on time. Zhuzhi-lang inclines his head in farewell, unable to wave like Tianlang-jun.
He hopes Luo Binghe wins.
Zhuzhi-lang should have seen this coming.
He has grown too complacent, too comfortable. He’s been expecting Luo Binghe to stop by after the Immortal Alliance Conference to fill him and Tianlang-jun in on his victory, so he’s stayed close to the surface.
The area of the sea they frequent has been calm for so many years. He has no reason to believe that should change. It is because of this that Zhuzhi-lang is caught completely unawares by the humans and their net. He’s too big to slip away and before he knows it, he’s been dragged from the water and into an unfamiliar boat.
The sun is so bright up here, nearly blinding. His eyes close instinctively but it doesn’t do much to filter out the light. He forces them open again to glare up at the blurry figures above him. Their voices are loud and grating on his sensitive ears. Not for the first time, he wishes desperately to have hands to cover them with.
The net he’s been trapped in is made of some sort of metal, not rope. It emits a strange heat and the instant it touches his skin, he begins to feel faint. He fights to keep conscious but the mystery material he’s ensnared with seems to be winning the battle.
Patches of his scales have been scraped off by the force used to pull him onto the boat; he presses himself down, purposefully aggravating the wounds. The pain jolts him from his woozy daze and he thrashes, slapping his tail against the deck and anything else within reach.
He must hit one of the humans because he hears: “Someone knock that thing out! We don’t need it alive, we just need–”
A glare that isn’t from the sun whips past him. The human cuts off with a strange gurgle and slumps to the deck.
He hears the other humans shout at each other before the sharp, grating sound of swords leaving scabbards hits his ears. He winces, disoriented further by the rising cacophony.
Before his ears have stopped ringing, the deep thud of multiple heavy bodies hits the deck in quick succession.
There is sudden, blissful silence. Broken only by faraway bird cries and the ever-present ocean waves.
And then…soft, slow footsteps.
Zhuzhi-lang blinks up to see a young man approaching. Tall and handsome. With dark eyes and hair tied back at the nape of his neck.
The years have treated him well. Zhuzhi-lang almost doesn’t recognize him.
Almost.
Gongyi Xiao’s sword is in his hand and Zhuzhi-lang's embarrassment at being unable to escape a simple net nearly outweighs the heart-stopping jolt of fear. He makes one last desperate attempt to struggle free from the metal cords; they dig painfully into the areas where scales have been scraped away.
"Hold still," Gongyi Xiao says as he crouches down. He slides one hand under a section of the interwoven cords, soft skin brushes against Zhuzhi-lang's tail.
Zhuzhi-lang flinches back from the oddly gentle touch. He opens his mouth wide and hisses, showcasing a dense array of sharp white teeth. His fangs poke out from the rest, longer and thinner. His mouth aches as venom begins to fill them.
"I'm sorry!" Gongyi Xiao lets go, taking a halting step back. "Did I hurt you?"
Zhuzhi-lang goes abruptly still. Why does Gongyi Xiao care if he's hurt or not? In his experience, humans—especially cultivators—are typically the ones inflicting pain on those of his kind.
“Don't come any closer.” Zhuzhi-lang manages to keep his voice level. “I’m venomous.”
Gongyi Xiao frowns. “I only wish to free you. That will be difficult to do if you bite me.”
“I do not require your help.”
“Forgive my impudence but that doesn’t seem to be true.” Gongyi Xiao gives a helpless little shrug. “And Da-shixiong would be upset if I just left you here. He and Shizun care about you greatly.”
“You…” It takes Zhuzhi-lang a moment to fight through the fog threatening to overtake his brain. “...You know who I am?”
“Of course. Zhuzhi-lang, right?” A hesitant smile lifts the corners of Gongyi Xiao’s lips. There is not the expected fear or disgust in his eyes, only a worried uncertainty.
And in the face of such an open and honest expression, Zhuzhi-lang wants nothing more than to curl up at the bottom of the ocean. He is not used to being looked at like this, and certainly not by someone so…so…
Gongyi Xiao is beautiful. And Zhuzhi-lang has never felt comfortable around beautiful things. He becomes too aware of his own imperfections—his scales and his lack of limbs and his scars.
Venom slowly drips from Zhuzhi-lang’s fangs, spilling down his chin. He must make for a sorry sight. Things like him are not meant to be looked upon in the light of day.
The wooden deck is cool against his face—a contrast to the metal still sapping his strength—and Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t know when he slumped to lie against the floor but his body feels hot and he thinks it might be okay to never move again.
“Zhuzhi-lang?” Gongyi Xiao is closer now, kneeling at his side. His hand is once more under the cords; he anxiously presses the back of it to Zhuzhi-lang’s scaled cheek, then clicks his tongue. “You’re burning up.”
Zhuzhi-lang watches with heavy-lidded eyes, feeling oddly detached, as Gongyi Xiao carefully slides his sword out. He has just enough presence of mind to notice how pretty Gongyi Xiao’s fingers are.
And then everything goes black.
It’s night when Zhuzhi-lang wakes up.
He lies on his back in an unfamiliar room with something soft beneath him. A single lamp is lit, casting a mellow glow onto dry furniture. There’s no water and no sun. No humans and no net.
Zhuzhi-lang gingerly turns his pounding head to try and ascertain where exactly he is and stops cold at the sight before him.
It turns out there is one human.
Gongyi Xiao lies beside him, face relaxed in sleep. He seems gentle like this. Harmless, Zhuzhi-lang’s brain supplies in a voice that sounds suspiciously like Luo Binghe. Zhuzhi-lang allows the thought to soak in as his eyes trace over Gongyi Xiao’s features. Sliding from strong brows to the slight bump at the bridge of his nose, glancing over high cheekbones and down to the bitten pink of his lips.
His skin looks soft. The stumps that will one day be Zhuzhi-lang’s arms twitch. If only he had fingers…
Gongyi Xiao’s long eyelashes tremble minutely against his cheeks and Zhuzhi-lang goes completely still. Dark eyes blink open to meet glowing yellow ones.
And then Gongyi Xiao sits upright so fast that Zhuzhi-lang startles, shifting back against the pallet below. His skin feels tender where it drags over cloth. Not quite painful but something close.
“Forgive me.” Gongyi Xiao cups his hands respectfully. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep but the past few days have been harrowing. How are you feeling? Still warm?” He touches Zhuzhi-lang’s forehead without waiting for an answer. “I’ll get you another compress.”
“It…it’s all right.” Zhuzhi-lang’s voice is hoarse. He isn’t sure what a compress is and he’s a little taken aback by how nice Gongyi Xiao’s hand feels. “You saved me. Thank you. I am in your debt.”
“Think nothing of it. You were in need and I helped.” Gongyi Xiao is already on his feet, dipping a small piece of white cloth into a nearby bowl. He wrings it out before carefully placing it across Zhuzhi-lang’s forehead.
The cool relief is instant against heated skin and Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t know how he’ll ever repay this man if he keeps heaping kindness onto undeserved kindness.
“It may have been nothing to you,” Zhuzhi-lang says slowly. “But not many would do what you did for someone like me, and I believe a drop of kindness should be repaid by a flood.”
The light in Gongyi Xiao’s eyes dims somewhat. “Zhuzhi-lang may not feel so magnanimous once I tell him why I was around to help in the first place.”
A pang of familiar anxiety shoots through Zhuzhi-lang. He stays silent as Gongyi Xiao continues, “Something unexpected happened at the Immortal Alliance Conference. A master from another sect has—I don’t quite know how to put this—run off with your cousin. Shizun is searching for them now.”
Zhuzhi-lang must have misheard. “Binghe has…what?”
“We don’t exactly know what happened. There were some strangely strong aquatic beasts that appeared out of nowhere so Elder Shen from Cang Qiong Mountain went down to help. The next thing we knew, both of them were gone and in their place was a large crack in the ground. Shizun jumped in after them.”
Zhuzhi-lang attempts to push himself up but moving without the aid of water is strange. His body doesn’t want to listen to his orders. “But he’s alive?”
“Oh, almost certainly! I doubt anything so small as falling into an abyss could critically harm Da-shixiong. And Shizun said she would definitely find him.”
An abyss??!! Zhuzhi-lang opens his mouth but speech evades him. He has never felt more helpless than he does now. At least when Tianlang-jun made his trek towards the Luo River decades ago, Zhuzhi-lang had been at his side! He has no idea where Luo Binghe is now or what terrors he’s experiencing.
Zhuzhi-lang swallows; his throat is as dry as everything else in this strange human room. “I have to tell Junshang.”
He tries once more to sit up, curling his tail to achieve some sort of leverage, but Gongyi Xiao presses a careful palm to the bare skin of his shoulder. Zhuzhi-lang shivers at the touch.
“It’s the middle of the night and you still have a fever. Rest. We’ll go tomorrow.”
“No. We will go now. I’ll heal better in water.” Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t know if this is true but his first priority is Tianlang-jun. No matter how helpful Gongyi Xiao has been, Junshang will always come first.
Gongyi Xiao rubs the back of his neck, looking torn. “I can try and get a tub brought to the room. Will that work?”
“No,” Zhuzhi-lang lies. “It has to be the sea and I cannot make it there on my own. I promise that I will devote myself to repaying you after this so if Gongyi Xiao would lower himself to come to my aid once more, I would be–”
“Lower myself?” Gongyi Xiao appears genuinely puzzled. “There’s no need for that sort of talk. If it’s that important to you then of course I’ll help. Just give me a moment to fetch the wheelbarrow.”
“Thank you, I–” Zhuzhi-lang blinks. “The what.”
“How do you think I snuck you in here? You’re too conspicuous. I covered you with a blanket and wheeled you in.”
“...”
Gongyi Xiao walks over to the edge of the room and uncovers an oddly shaped box on wheels. Zhuzhi-lang has never seen anything like it. He watches warily as Gongyi Xiao wheels it closer.
The only warning Zhuzhi-lang has for what comes next is Gongyi Xiao’s brief: “Pardon me.”
And then lean arms slide beneath him, lifting him up and depositing him into the wheelbarrow. He is only aloft for an instant but for some reason his heart has picked up speed and will not slow; it pounds against his ribs so vigorously that he worries Gongyi Xiao will be able to hear it.
The compress slips from his forehead and Gongyi Xiao casually fixes it back in place before grabbing a blanket and covering Zhuzhi-lang’s coiled tail.
“Shouldn’t um…” Zhuzhi-lang hesitates. Every place that Gongyi Xiao’s fingers have touched feels strange, keeping the fading impression of soft skin against scales. It’s distracting. “Shouldn’t my face be hidden as well?”
“Oh. Yes.” Gongyi Xiao’s shoulders droop. “A shame, but I suppose you’re right.”
The disappointment in Gongyi Xiao’s voice confuses Zhuzhi-lang. Perhaps this fever is worse than he thought. He seems to be hallucinating…
He keeps his gaze on Gongyi Xiao as the young man lifts the blanket over his head.
The look in those eyes really isn't like any he’s ever seen before. At least, not directed at him. Zhuzhi-lang pushes the thought to the back of his mind. There are more pressing matters to deal with.
Luo Binghe and Su Xiyan do not come home in a week, nor a month, nor a year.
And the ocean starts to feel bigger and emptier as the shifting seasons keep the wheel of time turning.
“They’ll be home soon,” Tianlang-jun likes to say with certainty. He has complete faith in his wife and is sure that she and their son are alive.
Zhuzhi-lang chooses to agree with him, mainly because the only other option is too dismal to consider. His lord’s boundless optimism is, for once, something that Zhuzhi-lang actively encourages. Without the ability to travel on land, there is simply nothing else for them to do.
Well…other than entertain their new semi-permanent guest, of course.
Of all the problems that have arisen from Luo Binghe’s disappearance, one of the strangest is Gongyi Xiao’s sudden insistence on visiting the sea at least twice a week.
Zhuzhi-lang is not used to spending so much time near the surface and after his experience with the humans and their net, he’s even less comfortable than he was before. But if Gongyi Xiao is there…he can’t not go.
He’s limited in the ways he can show his gratitude.
“Is this for me?” Gongyi Xiao has only just taken a seat at the edge of the pier. He picks up a smooth purple stone, turning it over in his beautiful hands.
Zhuzhi-lang slinks further beneath the waves. He's spent a lot of time searching for the perfect rock, and has been excited to give it to Gongyi Xiao, but a creeping shyness has suddenly taken hold of him.
Gongyi Xiao smiles, wide and a little crooked, the corners of his eyes crinkling. His teeth are blunt like Su Xiyan’s and Zhuzhi-lang wonders how humans manage to eat anything. They must have to chew for a while.
“Thank you.” Gongyi Xiao slips it into the pouch at his waist. “I’ll treasure it.”
Zhuzhi-lang knows it isn’t the sun high above them that makes the tips of his pointed ears flush. He gains the courage to poke the rest of his head out of the water to respond, “You like it?”
“Mmhm! I like each one you’ve given me. I keep them by my bed.”
A shivery, pleased feeling fills Zhuzhi-lang’s chest.
“Oh, that reminds me!” Gongyi Xiao reaches back into his pouch. “I brought something for you too.”
“For me?”
“I hope it didn’t get squished but I wanted it to be a surprise. Just give me a…ah! Here you go.” In Gongyi Xiao’s outstretched hand is a flower. It’s rounded and ruffled like the fins of certain fish, many overlapping petals fade delicately from pink to white. It’s unlike any of the flora Zhuzhi-lang has seen before.
It’s terribly nice that Gongyi Xiao has gone to the unnecessary trouble of procuring this gift for him. He wants nothing more than to accept it. He thinks, longingly, that it must be soft to touch.
“Thank you. But I um…” Zhuzhi-lang averts his eyes and lifts his not-quite arms out of the water for a brief moment. “I’ll have to ask Gongyi Xiao to keep it safe for me for the time being.”
“Oh!” Gongyi Xiao has the grace to look embarrassed. “I didn’t think about it. My apologies.” He scoots closer, somehow managing to keep from falling into the ocean. “I can weave it into your hair if you’d like.”
Zhuzhi-lang’s body moves faster than his brain. He nods enthusiastically and swims to be right beside Gongyi Xiao. It is only after he’s been boxed in by firm legs and Gongyi Xiao’s fingers have started to comb through his hair that Zhuzhi-lang realizes the position they’re in.
It’s a little um…intimate.
Zhuzhi-lang hopes the scales on his cheeks help cover the rising blush. He holds perfectly still as Gongyi Xiao’s deft hands do as promised. Probably by accident, the pad of Gongyi Xiao’s thumb brushes against Zhuzhi-lang’s cheek as he pulls away.
“All done.” Gongyi Xiao clears his throat. “It compliments you well.”
It’s kind of him to say but Zhuzhi-lang is certain that cannot be true.
He knows what he looks like.
“Zhuzhi-lang.” Tianlang-jun raises a single, tapered brow. “Where did you get a peony? They don’t grow near here.”
Is that what it’s called? Zhuzhi-lang attempts to look at the flower in his hair but it’s just out of sight. “It was a gift.”
“Oh?” Tianlang-jun cups his chin thoughtfully. There’s a playful glint in his eyes. “From whom?”
“Junshang knows who. Please don’t tease me.”
“I would never! Frankly, I’m wounded that you would even suggest such a thing.” Tianlang-jun makes a big show of clutching his heart but his smile grows bigger. “Just let me know when to get your dowry ready.”
Zhuzhi-lang attempts to cover his face, absolutely mortified. Tianlang-jun just laughs.
It has been two years since Su Xiyan went after Luo Binghe. And Gongyi Xiao has begun to borrow her boat.
The low, continuous thrum of worry still sits beneath everything Zhuzhi-lang does but at least he no longer has to venture so close to shore. He feels comfortable enough to let the top half of his body rest above the water.
“May I ask you something?” Gongyi Xiao sits cross-legged, polishing his sword. Zhuzhi-lang isn’t sure when he stopped being afraid of the weapon but it doesn’t seem threatening at all now.
Zhuzhi-lang nods. “Of course.”
“Why don’t you ever leave the water?”
“It’s…” Zhuzhi-lang bites his lip, trying to figure out the best words to use. “...unwise. Creatures like myself are not exactly welcome on land.” I’m barely welcome in the sea.
Gongyi Xiao tilts his head consideringly. “But you could if you wanted to, right? You were okay when I brought you to that inn.”
“Well, yes. Actually I… When I was much younger I traversed the shadows of your human cities to reach the Luo River.”
“Really?” Gongyi Xiao perks up, placing his sword aside. He leans closer to the edge of the boat; Zhuzhi-lang subconsciously mimics him.
“Mn. It was an unpleasant trip.”
“I suppose you wouldn’t want to leave again, then.”
“Not unless I had to. Why do you ask?” Zhuzhi-lang’s arm-like protrusions have grown longer. He now has the ability to cross them like humans do. So he does, pushing up slightly to rest them on the boat.
Gongyi Xiao is quick to say, “No reason.”
He stands abruptly, and with the jostling of the boat and the way Zhuzhi-lang leans against the side… Gongyi Xiao loses his balance and slips into the water.
Zhuzhi-lang is so startled that it takes him a moment too long to realize that Gongyi Xiao seems to be floundering, unable to float. He immediately curls his tail around Gongyi Xiao and brings him to the surface, intending to help the poor human back onto the boat. But Gongyi Xiao clutches at Zhuzhi-lang’s back, breathing heavily.
Those wonderful fingers are touching his bare skin and Zhuzhi-lang has to fight to keep his voice level. “Can you not swim?”
Gongyi Xiao shakes his head. Strands of wet hair cling to his face, framing his cheeks. He coughs, “There’s been no need to learn.”
“I would say this is a pretty good reason.”
“I agree.” Gongyi Xiao lets out a heavy breath, resting his head against Zhuzhi-lang’s shoulder.
“I wish I could teach you but…” Zhuzhi-lang swallows. He can feel Gongyi Xiao’s heartbeat. It’s fast. “I admit to a lack of knowledge when it comes to humans and what you do with your legs.”
Gongyi Xiao laughs, a breathy thing with almost no sound. Zhuzhi-lang can feel the puff of air on his neck.
“I’ll ask Shizun to teach me when she returns,” Gongyi Xiao says.
“What will you do until then?”
“Zhuzhi-lang can just keep saving me, can’t he?”
“I…um…yes.” The fluttering feeling is back to tear apart Zhuzhi-lang’s chest from the inside. “As many times as you need.”
Zhuzhi-lang has grown…content with the feelings he holds for Gongyi Xiao. He doesn’t expect anything to come of it and he doesn’t need Gongyi Xiao to ever find out. But it’s nice to know that he’s capable of having such feelings in the first place.
He had assumed for so many years that things like him were incapable of holding romantic affection towards another.
It truly does make him happy to be proven wrong.
“Xiyan!” Tianlang-jun holds out his arms just as Su Xiyan jumps into the sea. They embrace tightly, pressed so close together that it seems nothing would be able to separate them. He cradles the back of her head, speaking softly against her cheek, “I knew you would come home.”
Her familiar near-smile lifts the corners of her lips. “I couldn’t leave Zhuzhi-lang to deal with you all by himself.”
Luo Binghe still stands at the shore. The dark circles under his eyes are like bruises, stark against wan skin. His gaze is far away but eventually he focuses on Zhuzhi-lang, floating next to his parents.
“I placed first in the Immortal Alliance Conference,” he says. “Just like Zhu-ge said I would.”
Tianlang-jun pulls away from Su Xiyan slightly to give Luo Binghe an incredulous look. “Of course you did and we’re all very proud of you, but if you don't come down here and hug your poor father then I may just lose my mind!” He beckons with one arm and the cold front Luo Binghe has been holding onto crumbles.
He rushes into the water and allows Tianlang-jun to pull him close. Zhuzhi-lang is content to watch on the sidelines but Su Xiyan grabs his arm and forces him in. She’s just as strong as he remembered.
Big shining tears drip from Luo Binghe’s cheeks, solidifying into pearls as they reach his chin. Zhuzhi-lang curls his tail around Luo Binghe’s back in wordless comfort.
They stay like this for a long time. Until Luo Binghe’s breathing has evened out and the sun has begun to set. Only then, do Su Xiyan and Luo Binghe begin to fill them in on the three years spent in the abyss.
And on a human named Shen Qingqiu.
It turns out that falling in love with humans might run in the family.
Zhuzhi-lang decides to include himself. Just this once.
Zhuzhi-lang is fine when Gongyi Xiao removes his outer robe. It’s when the inner shift is taken off to reveal the toned chest beneath that Zhuzhi-lang discovers exactly how dry a mouth can get.
Very.
“Shizun has been teaching me how to swim.” Gongyi Xiao grins, hands on his hips. “I can join you in the water now without fear of drowning.”
“I would never let you drown.”
“Thank goodness! Because I may have been exaggerating my skill.” Gongyi Xiao begins to wade into the ocean.
It’s a good thing he’s left his pants on because Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t know if his heart could handle any other option. As it is…the pants are white, leaving little to the imagination. He purposefully keeps his eyes on Gongyi Xiao’s face.
“I can’t fathom swimming with legs,” Zhuzhi-lang says. “I’m impressed you learned even a little so quickly.”
“My cultivation base helps.” Gongyi Xiao is up to his waist now; the water sloshes against his stomach.
The roof of Zhuzhi-lang's mouth aches and he realizes with an abrupt and debilitating shame that he's begun to produce venom. His body must be reacting to… something. How embarrassing. Zhuzhi-lang ignores the instinct to sink beneath the waves and instead stays absolutely still, waiting for Gongyi Xiao to slowly paddle over to him.
“It's actually not that difficult.” Gongyi Xiao swims in place once he’s made his way to Zhuzhi-lang’s side. “I kind of like it.”
Worried about opening his mouth, Zhuzhi-lang simply nods encouragingly. The venom hasn’t left his fangs yet but it very well could!
“Are you all right?” Gongyi Xiao furrows his brow and clasps a firm hand to Zhuzhi-lang’s shoulder.
“Mn.” Zhuzhi-lang raises a limb to try and cover his mouth but his fangs are too long. “Forgive me. I’m listening to you but I’m um…” Ah, he can’t bring himself to say it. Better to just keep his lips closed and hope for the best.
Before Zhuzhi-lang can snap his mouth shut, the soft pad of Gongyi Xiao’s finger presses against the tip of one needle-like fang.
Zhuzhi-lang’s breath catches. Their faces are so close that if Zhuzhi-lang were a lesser man—or perhaps a greater one—he could easily lean forward just slightly to push their lips together.
“Oh!” Gongyi Xiao pulls his hand back with a splash, cheeks flushed. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s all right.” Do it again. Touch me again. “Gongyi Xiao is allowed to be curious. But please do remember I’m venomous…”
“Yes, sorry, you’re just so—uh, sorry.”
Zhuzhi-lang curls his tail under the water. He almost asks ‘ I’m so what?’ but thinks better of it.
The answer would doubtless be something better left unheard.
It has finally happened.
Once thought to be an unattainable dream…
Zhuzhi-lang splays his fingers in front of his face and he is certain that if he had the ability to cry, tears would be streaming down his face at this moment.
He slowly folds those ten slender digits against his palms, reveling in the feeling.
He hopes Gongyi Xiao will bring him another flower.
He wants to take it with own hands.
The moon is full and bright when Gongyi Xiao next visits. Plenty of light for Zhuzhi-lang to see the naked surprise on his face.
Gongyi Xiao blinks, mouth falling open. “You have hands.”
“So do you,” Zhuzhi-lang says as he uses the new appendages to lift himself onto the boat. Su Xiyan has thankfully continued to allow its usage.
Awe fills Gongyi Xiao’s voice. “And you’re coming out of the water.”
Zhuzhi-lang grows bashful, instantly regretting this small bout of courage. But then Gongyi Xiao’s hands are under his arms to help him up and Zhuzhi-lang is starting to think this might have been a good idea after all.
“You have seen me out of the ocean before,” Zhuzhi-lang gently reminds him.
“But those circumstances were different! It wasn’t of your own volition.”
“That matters?” Zhuzhi-lang tilts his head, coiling his tail beneath him. His scales glisten in the moonlight.
“It does to me.” Gongyi Xiao kneels next to him. He absentmindedly strokes his palm along Zhuzhi-lang’s tail.
“Oh.” Zhuzhi-lang’s new fingers clench into fists. He doesn’t say anything else, unwilling to startle Gongyi Xiao into removing his hand.
They are both silent for a long moment, alone together beneath the clear night sky. Zhuzhi-lang loves the way pale light shines on Gongyi Xiao’s dark hair. He could reach out and touch now, if he wanted. He has the ability to.
He shouldn’t.
Gongyi Xiao’s hand stills, resting near the place where scales begin to thin and patchy skin takes over. He meets Zhuzhi-lang’s eyes.
“Beautiful,” Gongyi Xiao says, voice hushed.
Zhuzhi-lang’s stomach jumps. “Um. What is?”
It is like the world pauses, holding still for the beat between their eyes meeting and when Gongyi Xiao smiles. “You.”
And there is something about his expression—open, honest, sincere—that causes an odd warmth behind Zhuzhi-lang’s eyes, itchy and unfamiliar. “Please don’t tease me.”
“I’m not.” Gongyi Xiao appears confused by the insinuation. “I wouldn’t tease you about something like this.”
“But I’m…” It feels like something is caught in Zhuzhi-lang’s throat. He swallows around the bizarre lump and digs his nails into his palms. “You haven’t seen my original form.”
Gongyi Xiao’s brow pinches. “What does that have to do with this? You’re good-looking now but I’ve always thought you were pretty.”
“I’m not. I’ve never been anything other than…ugly.”
“Well, that can’t be right.”
"It is. You’re–" Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t understand why his voice cracks, he’s just stating the truth. It’s nothing bad. Just a fact. “You’re kind to say such things but I know what I look like. You don’t have to–”
He cuts off with a slight gasp as Gongyi Xiao presses soft, slightly dry lips against his. The kiss is brief, hesitant yet firm. Zhuzhi-lang is too shocked to close his eyes and fully give himself over to the feeling but when Gongyi Xiao pulls back, he instinctively chases after him.
Zhuzhi-lang has never been kissed before.
It’s different than he thought it would be. Better than he imagined.
He wants to do it again.
“Zhuzhi-lang.” Gongyi Xiao cups his cheek. “I really do think you’re beautiful.”
“I’m not dreaming, am I?”
“I hope not,” Gongyi Xiao says, sliding a thumb beneath Zhuzhi-lang’s left eye to brush away…the beginnings of a pearl? It falls to the wood below with a soft ping.
Zhuzhi-lang watches it roll. He blinks, not quite understanding what’s going on until another pearl falls from his face.
He’s…
“Sorry.” Zhuzhi-lang’s voice is strange, thicker than usual. “I’ve never, I don’t know what’s…this has never happened before.”
He tries to wipe his tears but they continue to fall. Dozens of little pearls.
Gongyi Xiao smiles somewhat helplessly. “Was the kiss that bad?”
“No! No, it was good,” Zhuzhi-lang assures. “I want to try again but I don’t–” His breath hitches. He’s seen Luo Binghe cry many times but nothing has prepared him for the feeling. It’s shaky and hot and he can’t control his breathing. “I don’t know how to make this stop.”
“You don’t have to.” Gongyi Xiao wipes another liquid pearl as it drips from Zhuzhi-lang’s dark lashes. He presses a careful kiss to Zhuzhi-lang’s cheek and Zhuzhi-lang turns his head to clumsily capture those lips with his own.
Gongyi Xiao makes a surprised noise but doesn’t object as Zhuzhi-lang pulls him closer, coiling his tail around him. The surroundings blur until there are only hands and teeth and tongues and pearls.
Zhuzhi-lang doesn’t know how long they stay like this but eventually the pearls begin to slow. Gongyi Xiao’s eyes are still closed when they break apart. And Zhuzhi-lang once again gets to witness the slow fluttering of long eyelashes against his cheeks before the stunning dark irises are revealed.
He knows what the look in those eyes means now.
How could he have ever thought anything else?
There are pearls caught in Gongyi Xiao’s robes; Zhuzhi-lang picks one out with the fingers he still hasn’t quite gotten used to. He clears his throat. “Will you keep these by your bed too?”
Gongyi Xiao smiles—wide and a little bit crooked—and Zhuzhi-lang knows that should this human ask, he would cry as many pearls as there are stars. Until Gongyi Xiao is veritably dripping with precious gems.
But he also knows that Gongyi Xiao will never ask.
For Zhuzhi-lang to be fully content, even with the knowledge that Gongyi Xiao holds such power over him…
Humans truly are such dangerous creatures.