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A/N: This was inspired by a post about asking Stone to pin himself to the wall face-forward. Somehow it morphed into this scene I did not really expect and is not what I intended, so. Sorry?
The alarm for the outer building door beeped when Stone came in for work. Robotnik wasn’t worried; it happened every few weeks or so. Probably just had too many keys in his pocket, or a different phone.
But then Stone set off the second alarm too, the one in the elevator. That was a little more significant; the sensors there were better and could usually filter out the metal incidentals people would wear or carry. Robotnik still didn’t worry though; it was probably just an umbrella or something.
He glanced up when Stone entered the lab, to confirm. But-. Hm. Stone’s hands were empty.
“Morning, Doctor!” And his smile was a little forced.
Hm. “You’re late and I’m freezing,” Robotnik snapped, and surreptitiously keyed some commands into his glove. Scan pulse. Scan for threat. “Give me a coat.”
Stone gripped the closet door handle, and, bam, they had a pulse reading.
It was high.
Oh fuck. Unscareable, unflappable Agent Stone was nervous. Something was wrong.
He watched carefully as Stone turned to reach into the closet, and saw that his jacket bulged oddly above the waist. There was something in the inside pocket, something bulky.
The lab agreed. His glove pulsed three times - the signal for threat, and security robots woke up.
“Here you go, Doctor,” Stone was saying, coming close, holding a coat out.
Contain, he keyed into his glove.
Immediately two little drones zipped through the air and took up position in front of him – guns out to present a threat, panels unfolding to form a shield. “Do not move,” they chirped, loud and firm and cheery. “Do not move. Do not move.”
Stone wasn’t fazed. “Uh... Doctor?” he said, smiling a little – and not moving. “Are you testing some-”
“Quiet,” he barked. For all he knew the threat could be voice-activated. “Get against the wall. Now.”
“Okay, okay.” Now Stone finally started to sound worried. He opened his hands – dropping the coat on the floor – and spread them, and backed up into a wall. “Doctor-”
“Not a word. Or they’ll fire.” He keyed them to maximum readiness.
Stone looked down at the red dot on his chest. He swallowed. His eyes were wide. He spread his hands further. Then he cocked his head like: why?
“Turn around. Face the wall and hold still.” When Stone obeyed, hands braced up high and head bowed, Robotnik stepped up close behind and reached both arms around to find out what the object was.
Stone let out a shuddering breath and thumped his forehead softly against the wall as his jacket was opened. Resignation that he was caught?
“Well what did you expect?” Robotnik hissed, hateful, as his hand closed around something hard and metallic in the inside pocket. “You think you’re the first to try?”
It was some kind of canister. A bomb maybe? No, explosives would have set off a lot more alarms than this. He drew the thing out carefully and it was hardly bigger than a soda can, plain and smooth, seamed in the middle where you were supposed to pull it open. Not too heavy. Not pressurized. Hm.
He was curious, sure, but that was what interrogation was for. Opening it himself was just stupid and he would exercise the five minutes of patience he needed to be safe.
He called for a robot to Contain, and set the canister safely in its belly with one hand. The other stayed on the back of Stone’s neck to keep him still; the security robots were on high alert and if the man moved an inch off the wall they would shoot him full of holes.
“Let’s make sure there are no other little surprises, hm?” He’d done enough with concealed weapons to know where to look. Calves and forearms, armpits, pockets, waist and groin. (Stone was compliant – even stepped his feet apart, and didn’t resist the hands intruding roughly into his clothes.).
Nothing unusual, nothing metal. Nothing that pinged any sensors.
When he felt sure Stone didn’t have any more weapons physically on his person, he updated his orders.
“They’ll shoot you if you come close to me,” he said. “But you can turn around and talk now. So go ahead: tell me how bad you needed the money.” Sneering now. “What is it – mommy’s getting evicted? Nephew has cancer? Go ahead, tell me what your excuse is. I know it’s money, you didn’t do it for principle; my enemies are wrong and stupid and you know it. Go ahead,” he insisted, when Stone still didn’t answer. “Turn around and tell me why.”
Stone turned around slowly, hands still raised. “Why is because it’s your birthday,” he said through grit teeth.
“What?”
“Today is your birthday,” Stone repeated. “So I brought you a birthday present. And okay, it’s mechanical, I should have realized it would set off the lab security, I’m sorry. But that’s all it is. I promise. Open it up, Doctor. You’ll see.”
He glanced over at the containment robot. Either this was a clever ploy to get him to handle a dangerous object, or Stone actually had…?
“You were nervous,” he accused, because he still couldn’t bring himself to believe. “When you walked in. I took your pulse, and you were nervous.”
Stone jerked. “You took-...?” He shook his head. “I was worried you’d get mad at me for wasting your time with something silly,” he explained. He laughed a little. “I was nervous because I thought you weren’t going to like it, and I was probably going to get yelled at. I... did not anticipate almost getting shot.”
Robotnik swallowed. Now that the sense of danger had passed he felt lightheaded and his skin was crawling. He wanted to be alone. He could still see where the red dots had been and he did not like it at all.
Stand down, he commanded the robots. Threat resolved.
He keyed open the containment chamber and stared at the canister.
Stone followed his eyes. “It’s because of how we always have to run to the incinerator, when they send us something classified. I thought you might-. I mean, yeah. Anyway. I’m, uh. I’m going to go run to the bathroom a minute, okay?”
As soon as he was gone Robotnik took the canister – the present? – and opened it.
Inside was a mechanical device. As soon as he started handling it it took over and unfolded itself: became a saucer the size of a salad plate, with a little figure, a person made of gears and wire, standing in the center. A toy? An... art piece?
No – on second glance the head was clearly functional. The jaws would move. They were full of tiny sharp teeth-... which gleamed from under a little handlebar mustache.
Hm. He took in the little man’s little wire hairstyle, and the hem of his little wire coat. “You’re me,” he whispered to him, childishly gleeful about it. “Hey there, handsome.”
When they send us something classified…
Ah. He took a sheet of paper and poked the corner against the figure’s mouth.
It whirred to life, the teeth gnashing and grinding, sucking the paper in. “Whoa!”
The little man was a tiny crosscut shredder, capable of properly destroying government documents by devouring them and ripping them to bits. Totally satisfyingly.
He did leave a mess though. Robotnik frowned about that... except then the figure vibrated, and glowed, and with a loud bang the shreds in the dish were suddenly incinerated to ash.
He chuckled – the little man was fantastic. He looked around quick for another piece of paper to feed him, and then saw that Stone had returned and was standing at his shoulder. He froze.
“Hi.” he said, awkward. Couldn’t quite move his gaze off of Stone’s lapel. What did you say? Sorry I thought you were an assassin and searched your underpants?
“Hi,” Stone said back, and the tone made him look up immediately in surprise, because it sounded like…
Yes: Stone was smiling. Beaming, even. “You like it, Doctor? I made it.”
“Yeah I figured; they don’t sell mini paper-eating geniuses at Sharper Image,” he shot back immediately. Then he winced. What did you say? “I mean-... um. You know I’m going to feed him people’s fingers.”
“Please - of course I thought of that,” Stone said. “There are sensors. He might get a bite or two in, but he’ll stop.”
Robotnik pouted. “You never let me have any fun.”
The little man was adorable. He wanted to feed him a dozen more pages, and find him a place of honor somewhere eye-level in the lab.
He knew though, he knew there was more he was supposed to articulate. He thought fast but everything he came up with was either trite or unsayable. Finally, when it was almost too long a silence and they almost had to give up, he burst out in desperation: “I like him! Very much.”
Somehow, Stone’s smile got even brighter.
Against all odds he’d got it right. Plain and true was right. Go on. “And, no one ever gives me birthday presents, so it’s-. Unusual. Special.” It means a lot, other people would surely say, but not him, because he wouldn’t be able to suppress an eyeroll.
Still, Stone was clearly over the moon.
“And I’m sorry I almost shot you,” he finished, then winced because while that was certainly as plain and true as the rest, unlike the rest it was really not the right thing to say.
But Stone didn’t dim. “No worries, Doctor.” He didn’t sound upset. “I’m really glad you like him. Happy birthday.”
The End.
Okay, so this is definitely not where I thought this was going. Hope you enjoyed? Let me know what you think.