Chapter Text
Squall smiled at Rinoa as she stood at the door of her Balamb Garden guest room, reluctant to say goodnight. In the ballroom, the party was still going strong, and occasional notes of laughter or music drifted up to them. Rinoa glanced down the hall when a couple of SeeD cadets stumbled into view, leaning on each other and singing loudly despite being in the residential hall. She laughed and looked back at Squall to see him watching the cadets with mild disapproval. Before he turned back to face her again, she leaned forward and kissed his cheek sweetly, startling him.
“Goodnight,” she said, smiling at him. Squall’s features softened and he gave her a chaste kiss, lingering a moment before pulling away.
“Goodnight.”
Rinoa let her door slide shut and Squall turned to walk down the hall, shaking his head at the cadets as they clapped him on the back and tried to goad him into joining them for an after-party. He turned down the hall to the SeeD wing, heading to his private quarters. He hadn’t seen his own bed in weeks and it felt strange returning. Almost like a dream. He stood in front of his room and paused, frowning, struggling to remember the code to his door while distracted by that thought - a dream…? He rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes. A ringing began to build in his ears, soft but distinct.
“No…” Squall mumbled, a flash of panic hitting him as he recognized the sensation and staggered, but there was no fighting it. There never was. He reached a hand out to try to steady himself against the wall, but collapsed before he could even touch the surface, losing consciousness.
--
When he opened his eyes again, Squall recognized the ceiling. D-District Prison. His private cell. He lifted his hand and recognized it as his own, pulling off his black glove to see his Griever ring, just to be sure. He groaned and rolled to his side burying his face in his hands, feeling his familiar scar, just in case he wasn’t absolutely positive he was in his own body already.
Ellone? He reached out with his mind, desperately searching for Sis as he had in the past. No, he corrected. The future? He felt a shudder of panic wash through him. Where was he? If this was a dream, why was he in his own body? Ellone had only ever sent him to others’ bodies, Laguna’s or in that one instance Rinoa's. Had she managed to send him back to his own past? Why? Why?!
He heard footsteps and froze, trying to remember back to this moment. The ice spear, the torture. Seifer was coming. Squall sat up and yanked his glove back on, rising to his feet with the intention of rushing Seifer as soon as the door opened, but his legs buckled and his knees hit the metal floor with a hard bang just a second before the door flew open and Seifer looked in at him with alarm in his eyes.
Seifer glanced behind him quickly, then stepped into the cell and shut the door before hurrying to kneel in front of Squall.
“You’re awake,” Seifer said, relieved. Squall jerked away from the hand reaching for his shoulder and coughed, glaring up at the blond.
“What are you doing?” Squall managed to get out in a haggard breath. Why was breathing so difficult? Why was he so weak?
“Getting you out of here,” Seifer said, reaching forward again to help Squall stand up as Squall went into another fit of coughing, unable to bat Seifer away this time. A cool sensation moved under Squall’s skin as Seifer muttered a Cure spell over him, and some of Squall’s thoughts cleared through the panic and anger, though the confusion only grew.
“Out? That’s not what you’re supposed to do…”
“Yeah, well, fuck what I’m supposed to do. Can you walk?” Seifer asked, letting go of Squall briefly to walk away, crack the door open, and peek out. He glanced back and shut the door again as Squall stumbled against the far wall.
“Wh-what’s wrong with me?” Squall asked, feeling ill. None of this was going the way it was supposed to. Why had Ellone sent him here? Where was she? Why wasn’t she reaching out to him?
“Edea’s ice lance fucked you up good, that’s what’s wrong with you,” Seifer said, stepping toward Squall again. He paused as Squall brows pinched together in confusion.
Squall looked down at his chest and his eyes widened in horror. His jacket was severely torn, a hole shredded just below his right collarbone. In frantic realization that that wound shouldn’t exist in the future he belonged in, he jerked his jacket off, ignoring Seifer’s warning of “hey!” and revealing the blood-stained white shirt beneath it. His breathing shallowed and he touched the gouged skin through his shirt, pulling his hand back to find the fingertips of his gloves slicked with his blood. His hand was shaking hard and he looked up at Seifer as he slid down the wall, the whites of his eyes showing.
“What is this?” Squall asked, almost begging for Seifer to tell him there was nothing there. “Wh-what-?”
“Hey, hey!” Seifer knelt in front of him, carefully bracing his hand against Squall’s left shoulder to keep him upright. “Hey, look at me!”
Squall was holding both of his hands in front of him, staring at them in a daze as he went into shock. His thoughts began to spiral and he felt like he might be sick as possibilities swelled. He was still trapped in Time Compression. He was never found by Rinoa. He never made it back with the others. He had gotten lost in the wrong time and was in an alternate timeline. Or what if...it had all been...a dream to begin with?
“Squall! Get a hold of yourself!” Seifer barked, grabbing hold of Squall’s jaw to force the brunet to look up at him.
“S-Seifer?”
“That’s right, calm down. I’m going to get you out of here.”
“You’re supposed to be torturing me…” Squall said, almost pleading for Seifer to follow the way things were supposed to go. He’d go through the whole thing again if it meant he could just get back to the party in the Garden after Ultimecia was defeated. Back to Selphie, Irvine, Zell, Quistis. Back to Rinoa.
“Torturing you?” Seifer’s lip curled up in disgust. “You think I would torture you?”
“You’re the Sorceress’s knight…”
“I’m not taking the act far enough to torture you,” Seifer growled. “Come on, get up, we don’t have much time.”
“Act?”
“Come on, Squall, you can have a mental breakdown when we’re on a train back to Balamb.” Seifer slipped his shoulder under Squall’s left arm and heaved Squall to his feet. “Hyne, you’re heavier than you look.”
“But-”
“Squall!” Seifer snapped, trying to keep his voice low, glaring directly into Squall’s face, their proximity close with Seifer helping him. “Aren’t you a SeeD?”
Squall stared at Seifer and then realized Seifer was waiting for his answer. He nodded slightly.
“Then fucking act like it. Listen, I get that you’re in shock and my Cures aren’t cutting it for that wound, but you need to get your shit together so we can get out of here alive. I don’t care what you think should be happening or what kind of nightmares you were having while you were out. What is happening is that I’m going to drag your ass back to Balamb so that neither of us die here. Can you please fucking focus and act like the SeeD you are?”
Squall swallowed and blinked, clenching his jaw as he tried to clear his thoughts.
“Did you hear me?” Seifer jostled him a bit and Squall nodded in annoyance, the pain in his right side flaring up. “Since when are you such a fucking chicken-wuss?”
“I’m-”
“What?” Seifer goaded, knowing that he had to get Squall under control before they left and the brunet had a panic attack while surrounded by guards. “You’re acting like a goddamn coward who’s never been through a day of training in his life.”
“That’s-”
“I had more respect for you than that. Guess you’re just deadweight who can’t even save himself?”
Squall glared furiously at Seifer, their faces still so close that Seifer could see every flicker of emotion in Squall’s eyes, and he saw the exact moment when the fury replaced the fear.
Squall felt white hot anger blossom at Seifer’s words, pushing out the panic. This fucking asshole had caused him so much grief and now he was accusing him of being a pathetic burden? Fine. The future would have to wait. It was obvious Squall wasn’t going to wake up and Ellone wasn’t reaching out to him. He was completely alone in this...except for Seifer, who literally had his back at this moment, his arm and hand steady behind his shoulders.
Squall shifted away from Seifer with a scowl on his face, trying to stand on his own. Seifer smirked when Squall wavered but kept his balance, then slowly reached down to swipe his jacket from the bed where he had thrown it in his panic.
“That’s better,” Seifer said as Squall righted without staggering and stiffly pulled the jacket back on.
“Where are the others?” Squall asked, trying to remember what exactly had happened here before he blacked out from Edea’s attack. They were on assignment to kill her. They had failed and fought Seifer before challenging Edea herself. He pushed away the memory of Rinoa reaching down to catch him as he fell to what probably should have been his death.
“You were the only one Edea captured. Quistis arrived just as you fell and set Ifrit off to rain hell down on the float and cover the others’ retreat, on her order. I’m assuming they’ve all made it back to Balamb Garden.”
“How long have I been out?” Squall asked, nearing the door to listen for any noises outside.
“It’s been a day” Seifer said. “ And I don’t think they hold rescue missions for corpses, so don’t expect one. You looked pretty dead when you landed. Then the Galbadian soldiers pounced on you.”
“But I’m not, right?” Squall asked, his resolve wavering suddenly at the sickening realization that if the past several months of his life had been a dream, this could be a dream too.
“Not what?” Seifer asked, frowning as Squall’s face paled. “Dead? Are you fucking kidding?”
“I could be…” Squall said, his voice tight. “I should be, right?”
“Who the fuck cares if you are?” Seifer snapped, causing Squall to blink and pull back slightly when Seifer approached him. “Dead, alive, it doesn’t matter. You’re here, so deal with it.”
Squall stared at Seifer tensely for a moment, absorbing that. Then he nodded tightly, believing it because he could see that Seifer believed it. “Right.”
“Right. You ready now, or do you need some more cuddles?” Seifer said, smirking when Squall scowled. “Good. Do you trust me?”
“No,” Squall said bluntly, glaring flatly at Seifer. Seifer huffed a laugh.
“Turn around,” Seifer said and Squall complied without question, even when Seifer snapped a handcuff around one wrist, then the other, binding his arms behind his back, causing the wound in his right shoulder to flare up. Squall hissed in pain and shot Seifer a nasty look, only to be met with a cocky smirk from Seifer and a bounce of his eyebrows. “Play your part well.”
Seifer threw the door open and shoved Squall’s head forward roughly, causing the brunet to stagger out into the hall. Squall almost landed on his knees, but Seifer caught him by the back of his jacket and jostled him down the right hallway.
“Let’s go, you pathetic piece of shit,” Seifer said, relishing in his power over Squall. Squall let out a grunt of pain. “The Sorceress wants to see you.”
A Galbadian soldier passed, headed in the other direction, but seemed to only take a mild interest in the Sorceress’s lapdog leading around the new prisoner. Seifer pushed Squall along his way, guiding him painfully down a series of halls and turns, then across catwalks and stairs, until finally Squall recognized the entrance in the distance.
Seifer redirected them momentarily to go into an empty cell. He undid Squall’s handcuffs, took a silent moment to look at Squall’s wound and cast a quiet Cure spell over it, easing some of the damage he did, then knelt next to a cot to pull out Squall’s gunblade.
“How’d you save it?” Squall asked, unbuckling his belts to slide the gunblade sheath on before rebuckling. He looked up to see Seifer thoughtfully watching him adjust his belts and settle his gunblade where it belonged. Seifer met his eyes when he was done and shrugged.
“Edea didn’t care about it so I took it for my collection. Are you going to be able to use it if we need to?”
“Don’t you trust me?” Squall asked dryly, throwing Seifer’s question back at him. Seifer grinned.
“With my life, so don’t let me down.”
Squall’s eyebrows went up in surprise at Seifer’s confession. Briefly he remembered, so long ago and yet also only days ago, when they had all believed Seifer was dead, and how much he hated that conversation, everyone talking like he was already gone, talking as if he were wiped out of their lives so easily and instantaneously. And he remembered how angrily he had stormed out, knowing they could be talking about him that way someday. He realized they could be talking about him like that now and he clenched his jaw.
If he was truly back in time now, they knew nothing of the future he had experienced. They weren’t friends at this point in time. They were nothing but mercenaries working together. His life didn’t matter to them, just like Seifer’s life had never mattered to them. They were both just tragic stories to the others. Fuck ups that didn’t fit in.
But damn that all to hell. His life mattered to him. Hell, Seifer’s life mattered to him. Even in his...future? dream?...he had never been able to kill Seifer, even knowing that Seifer was working for the enemy, responsible for so much fighting, aiding in so much death against his own Garden. Squall had never even thought of killing Seifer himself. They were the same, he and Seifer. Mirrors of each other, two edges of the same blade. He could no sooner accept Seifer’s death than he could his own.
“I won’t,” Squall answered seriously, and his tone made Seifer pause a moment longer. They held each other’s gazes and Squall felt some of the tension loosen from his shoulders, as if his body was readying for a battle knowing that he had his partner to rely on. Seifer seemed to see this and gave Squall a half smile. Not a smirk, but an understanding. They both drew their swords.
“What do we do when we’re out the entrance?” Squall asked, checking the bullets in his revolver. Seifer did the same, his expression pleasantly amused through his routine check, almost excited, and it was slightly contagious, though Squall didn’t let the buzz of adrenaline show in his features.
“There’s a cave south of here. It’s a fucking maze when you get inside, but I’ve spent the last day you’ve been sleeping your ass off mapping it out while Edea was handling politics. We’ll head straight there and lose any tails we have in the darkness. If we get separated in there, follow the balanced stone markers I’ve left.”
Squall snorted a laugh and smirked at Seifer in disbelief, shocking the blond with the easy expression.
“What?” Seifer asked, baffled by this easy side of him.
“You should have made SeeD,” Squall said and shook his head, turning for the door and missing Seifer’s sobering expression and the flicker of appreciation for the compliment. Seifer inhaled deeply a moment and joined Squall at the door, nodding to the brunet as Squall nodded back at him. They lifted their weapons and followed one another out and down the hall, letting adrenaline fill their veins as they signaled to each other, kept a lookout, and then met the enemy head on when shouts of recognition at the jailbreak rang out.
--
Twice, enemy soldiers separated them in the caves, leaving Squall and Seifer to fend for themselves individually, with Squall at a very distinct disadvantage with his wounded shoulder, which had torn open and was soaking blood into his shirt and jacket. Still, he let his instincts and training lead him, doing what had to be done because that was the only thing to be done. He fucking wasn’t going to die in some desert cave in a non-dream that shouldn’t even be happening. As he cut down Galbadian soldiers, he found the markers and understood where to go, and twice he found Seifer again in the midst of his own battles.
They fought what must have been two dozen soldiers, then finally the only sounds in the caves were their own ragged breathing. They staggered along for a while until illumination from the distance warned them that the exit was near. They decided to take a moment in the shadowy light to recuperate before potentially walking out to an ambush.
Squall fell back against a rough stone wall, sweat pouring down his temples as the adrenaline from the fights slipped away. He squinted down at his chest, then dropped his head back against the wall gently, peering over at Seifer, who had a variety of blood spatters across his gray coat. A moment’s study revealed most of the blood must have come from their enemies, though he had earned a couple of slashes across his arms that were seeping red.
After a quick Cure on himself, Seifer approached Squall in the dim light and gently pulled back the edge of the leather coat to inspect the wound. Squall closed his eyes as Seifer hissed.
“That’s going to slow us down,” Seifer said, shaking his head and looking up to see Squall peering at him through half-lidded eyes, breathing hard.
“It won’t,” Squall said.
“Yeah? You ready to go right now then?” Seifer asked, annoyed at Squall’s empty promise. But before he could say anything else, Squall shoved away from the wall and adjusted the grip of his gunblade in his hand. Seifer stepped back naturally to give Squall space.
“Let’s go.”
Seifer pressed his lips in a thin line and the two men stared each other down. Then Seifer shrugged and walked to the other side of the tunnel and dropped to sit on his ass.
“Well, I’m not ready yet. Give me a minute to take a break,” Seifer said carelessly, leaning his gunblade against the wall. Squall wavered on his feet, annoyed by such an obvious tactic. But then Seifer pulled a flask from a pocket hidden inside his trenchcoat and lifted it up to Squall.
“What is it?” Squall asked, hesitating. He didn’t need a stiff drink right now, he needed-
“Water,” Seifer said. “Sit down.”
Squall staggered to drop down next to Seifer, taking the offered flask to swallow two deep gulps, cutting himself off before he could finish the whole thing even though that’s all he wanted to do in that moment. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was until then. He held the flask out to Seifer who took a sip himself and then passed it back.
“Finish it. It’s not like you were hooked up to an IV while you were out,” Seifer said.
“Thanks,” Squall said, sighing, and finished off the flask. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes again. Then opened them quickly when he heard a ripping sound. He looked over to see Seifer tearing the bottom of his trench coat off in long strips, leaning forward to cut through a few difficult threads with his teeth. Squall watched in confusion until Seifer turned toward him.
“Let me see that wound.”
“What?”
“I couldn’t get supplies in D-District. They’re under strict guard to make sure the prisoners don’t con the soldiers into trading for them, and people would have noticed if you were wearing bandages made from my coat. I didn’t think to do this before we left and I should have.”
“I’m fine,” Squall muttered, but when Seifer gestured for him to take off his coat, he complied. Not bothering to try to pull his shirt over his head, Seifer grabbed the hem of Squall’s no-longer-white shirt and ripped the filthy rags up to the collar. Squall shifted to pull his arms out of the sleeves and tossed it to the side.
“How’s the back?” Squall asked, leaning forward for Seifer to get a better look.
“...”
“That bad?”
“Yeah…” Seifer said. “I’ve been trying to Cure you over the past day when I wasn’t in here planning, but your body just needs time. Honestly, I’m surprised you can breathe.”
“It’s not easy,” Squall admitted, then let his head hang forward when Seifer cast yet another Cure over him, the muscles in his back relaxing slightly. He jolted when Seifer cast a gentle spell of Water over his back, then grunted in pain as the water continued to run over his raw skin and wash away the caked blood.
Seifer shifted to kneel in front of Squall. He folded a strip of his trench coat and placed the cloth firmly against Squall’s back, pressing hard to try to stop some of the bleeding. Shuddering waves of pain shook Squall’s battered frame, but he kept his teeth clenched and remained quiet, not wanting to alert any searching soldiers of where they were.
“Sit up,” Seifer commanded quietly and pushed gently on Squall’s uninjured shoulder to help him straighten. His other hand remained holding the bandage against Squall’s back. Squall shook hard beneath the touch, his eyes closed tight and his breath coming out harshly through his teeth. Seifer cast another tiny Water spell on the front of the wound, then packed another folded cloth against it to stem the fresh blood. At the pressure, Squall fell forward again, his head dropping against Seifer’s shoulder. His hands clenched the front of Seifer’s coat and he struggled to breath, trying not to cough or cry out, both of which his body was begging him to do.
“That’s it,” Seifer murmured reassuringly, his head bowed against Squall’s. “That’s the worst of it. You’re okay. Slow down. I’ve got you.”
Something in Squall snapped at that and he pulled Seifer closer, almost embracing him as he tried to get his breathing under control. He felt Seifer’s deep breath setting an example.
“Slower, just relax. Inhale, exhale,” Seifer said, breathing as he instructed. Squall’s body fought his attempt to control himself and he shivered hard, but he focused on Seifer’s breathing and tried his damnedest to mimic it. Eventually the pain from the bandages pressed into his wounds numbed slightly and Squall regained his breath, though it was still uneven.
“You’re okay, okay?” Seifer asked when he felt Squall was in control again.
Squall nodded against his shoulder and slowly tried to sit up. Seifer helped him straighten again and Squall only let go of his coat when he was fully upright.
“You good?” Seifer asked, just to be sure, peering at Squall cautiously. Squall nodded again and lifted his left arm to run a shaky hand through his damp hair.
“S-sorry,” Squall said, his voice hoarse. He kept his eyes on Seifer’s choker, unable to look up at the blond. He was being so pathetic and he hated himself for it. For a brief moment, he felt a wave of bitterness toward the future he remembered - it had been the fucking hardest series of missions, and yet he felt like they had only made him soft.
Seifer didn’t respond to his apology. Instead, he wrapped a third strip of cloth across Squall’s chest and around his back, tying it off so that the band held both folded wads in place. Squall winced, but managed to keep hold of himself this time. Seifer pulled a few more strips from his trench coat, layering the bands around Squall’s chest and shoulder until he was as bandaged the best he could be in the circumstances.
“It's not the most sanitary, but that’ll at least keep you from losing too much more blood. Hopefully,” Seifer said, inspecting his work. He stood up, pocketing his flask again, and held out a hand to Squall who took it and pulled himself up with Seifer’s help.
Squall shrugged his black jacket back on, not wanting to be completely bare chested if they faced another fight, and picked up his gunblade, which he had unconsciously left on the ground beside him.
“Thanks,” Squall said, shifting his shoulder to loosen it a little. The pain was still hot in his chest and back.
“We’ve gotta keep moving,” Seifer said.
“Sorry,” Squall said again, understanding that he had in fact slowed them down and wasted so much time. He finally looked up when he felt Seifer staring at him and saw the blond giving him an impatient look of annoyance at all of the apologies. Squall instinctively scowled and moved to fold his arms without thinking, only to wince and drop them when the movement pulled at his injury.
They set off down the tunnel for the exit, needing to take several more twists and turns before they finally reached the glaring sight of daylight, the sun hanging halfway to the horizon in the west. No guards were to be seen.
“Guess they don’t know about this exit,” Seifer said, frowning back at the cave. He opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off by a sharp sudden explosion far in the distance, close to D-District prison, right where the secret entrance to the cave would have been. The explosion caused a gentle quake beneath their feet and they heard a collapse of rocks in the hillside they had come out of. They both looked at each other with grim expressions.
“Let’s go. We’ve got a lot of walking ahead of us and that damn prison is not far away enough yet,” Seifer said. They sheathed their gunblades and headed off away from the prison at a pace much faster than Squall should have been moving, but he kept up with Seifer without a complaint, determined not to slow them down again.
--
They walked for the entire night, and every time Seifer asked if Squall wanted to rest to sleep, Squall walked past him and led the way for several miles. By the time Winhill appeared as a smudge in the distance, Squall was barely staggering along and Seifer was starting to show signs of exhaustion. It was well past morning the next day when they finally made it to the edge of the town, and Seifer had to catch Squall from collapsing next to a flower shop.
“Almost there,” Seifer said through gritted teeth as he hefted Squall up on his back, much like Squall had once done for Rinoa while she was unconscious. Squall scowled and tried to keep the blond from carrying him like a child, but gave up when Seifer jostled him hard. And against all of his struggles to stay awake, he fell asleep before they made it to the bridge.