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Self-Loathing

Summary:

Hitch is a lamia, and as such, there are many elements of her body that are just naturally very dangerous. Sometimes, her fear of harming the one she loves most really brings her to her lowest.

Notes:

This is my day 6 story for the HilowWeek 2022! Sorry it's incredibly late, I was busy with work and self-esteem issues.
The prompt was simple this time, just being "AU". So I decided to do something with one of my good friend's AUs, in which the cast of Attack on Titan are various species of fantasy monsters! Specifically for this story, it focuses on Hitch, as a lamia, and Marlowe, as a lizardman.
I hope I did good both making an enjoyable story, and utilizing the AU to make something unique.

Enjoy! And as always, be sure to tell me if you have any advice or complaints!

Work Text:

The visage she saw in the mirror gazed back at her, copying her worried expression almost as if it were mocking her fears. She opened her mouth, staring at her elongated fangs with a look of utter disdain. Placing a slender, clawed finger against its tip, she winced as she instantly felt it prick her flesh. Small droplets of yellow venom fell from the pointed tooth, landing with a quiet plip into the sink. Tears welled in her eyes as she gripped the edge of the sink, angry with herself. Or rather, angry at her body.

“Damnit, damnit, damnit…” she sobbed, burying her head in her arms. Sometimes, she wished she was never born as a lamia. A series of knocks on her door snapped her out of her depressive stupor. A worried gasp escaped her mouth and she quickly grabbed at a towel to clean off her tear-stained face. She double-checked to make sure every trace of sorrow was gone from her face, then went to answer the door.

“Hitch…”

Oh no, no, no, no, not him, not right now. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to hide her emotions around him. Why did he have to come now?

“Hitch, I know something is bothering you. Please, talk to me,” he begged, worry bleeding into every word. She wanted to turn him away, to isolate herself, a punishment she felt she deserved. The idea of hurting him like that, however, kept the words buried in her chest. She already felt like a physical burden, she couldn't stomach the thought of being a mental one as well. Hesitantly, she stepped–or rather, slithered–aside to let her boyfriend in.

Marlowe stepped inside, his clawed feet thumping against the wooden floor, and took a seat on her bed, inviting her to sit beside him. Reluctantly, she did so, immediately finding his arm wrapped around her to hold her close, his scales feeling so warm against her body. A part of her hated it, feeling that she didn’t deserve such comfort, yet another part of her wished the moment would never end. Once again, Marlowe asked what was eating at her, and the lamia couldn’t hold in her feelings any longer.

“I’m a danger to you…”

“What? Hitch what are you talking about?”

“I’m a burden!” she cried, tears welling in her eyes. “My venom is poisonous, my coils could crush the average person with ease, and my teeth alone are capable of piercing through flesh!” Her body shook and she gripped the sheets of her bed with clenched fists. “Every part of me is a danger… what if I accidentally hurt you? Poisoned you while we kissed, crushed you while we slept together?” Tears fell from her eyes, and Marlowe reached out to wipe them away. “I-I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you… yet my body is nothing but a living weapon…” She sniffled and tried pulling away from him. “You deserve someone better… someone safer…”

“Hitch, stop. You’re not thinking straight,” he retorted, pulling her into a tight hug. “You forget that I’m not exactly the weakest lizard around,” he joked, trying to lighten her mood. It didn’t seem to have much of an effect on her.

“T-That doesn’t mean I couldn’t hurt you!”

“Hitch, you don’t need to worry. Your venom doesn’t even have an effect on me, at least not a major one. And my scales are tougher than they look, so you don’t have to act like I’m a porcelain doll just waiting to shatter beneath you.” He placed his hand to her face, stroking a thumb along the arid yellow scales that made up part of her cheeks. “Besides, if being hurt is the risk I face by being with you,” he kissed her on the forehead, smiling warmly as she blushed, “then so be it.”

“B-But-”

“No buts. You have nothing to worry about, Hitch. I promise.” Hitch sat in silence for a moment, before her expression slowly turned up. She leaned her head against Marlowe’s shoulder, wrapping her arms around him.

“Thank you, Marlowe. I love you so much.”

He didn’t say anything in response. Instead, he just leaned down, and planted a soft kiss on Hitch’s lips, grinning as her cheeks flushed pink and her forked-tongue slid out of her mouth with a pleased, snake-like purr. He hated seeing her as upset as she was. She looked so much better with a nice, happy smile on her face.

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