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It all started when she was six, scraped knees and missing teeth with a personality a little too large for someone so small. She was fierce and scared of nothing, never backing down from anyone or anything that many others would deem too intimidating to face. Joyce Horowitz, however, looked it right in the eye, the facade of something scary crumbling into nothingness in mere seconds. This was a personality that would carry her through life, but it wasn’t always the easiest to keep ahold of.
It was easy to become an independent individual when you never really had anyone on your side to begin with. Absent parents meant you had to do everything on your own. This never seemed to bother Joyce much until her tenth birthday, a day that was meant to be important because you only enter the double digits once. Mary Ellen Morales turned the big one zero a week earlier, returning to school the next day to gush about her party, all the presents she received, and how much her parents did for her. They went to the aquarium. Joyce loved the aquarium. She returned home that evening to tell her parents all about it, how she would love to have a party, too. Her father gave her the okay, but little did she know it was simply to get her to be quiet. A few more comments were made here and there after that, most being brushed off or completely ignored, but Joyce held onto the belief that she, too, was worthy of a party. Why wouldn’t she be? Her birthday was important, too.
The big day arrived, a grin that made her cheeks hurt spreading across her face the moment she got out of bed. There would be a surprise. She felt it in her bones. Why else would her parents seem so uninterested? They had to have something planned and just didn’t want it to be ruined. There was no other possibility about it to cross her mind, so bare feet padded down the hallway quickly, the excitement of what was in store making her feel like she was floating.
Then suddenly it all hit her at once. There was nothing for her in the room. No presents, no cake, no decorations. Not even her parents were around. She was alone and remained that way for the entire day, her mother and father returning right as it was time for her to go to bed. Still, she held onto that hope. Her father held a brown paper bag in his grasp, what the girl thought might be a possible gift. As soon as it caught her eye, she jumped from her seat and rushed over, needy hands immediately reaching out and asking to see what was inside. He handed it over and without hesitation she reached in, only to pull out a half eaten slice of chocolate cheesecake. It wasn’t meant for her.
She returned to her room soon after, neither parent wishing her a happy birthday or showing any signs of care that she was now a year older. The big ten zero really wasn’t all that it was cracked out to be after all.
—
At fourteen she got her first boyfriend. It was casual, just a boy she had met in third period. He was her chemistry partner, but she had fallen hard. Finally someone was giving her attention that didn’t need to be begged for. The first few weeks were incredible. They spent almost every day together, studying, taking walks, holding hands, and sneaking quick kisses when they thought nobody else was looking. They agreed to take it slow, not wanting to rush either into something they weren’t ready for. This decision was made the same day he asked her out after he walked her home from school and to her, it had felt genuine.
She kept up on her end of the deal, not yet ready to take things further than a few lingering kisses. What they had was comfortable. It made her feel safe. But just as on her tenth birthday, the idea she had held onto for so long was nothing more than a delusion.
He tried to take her virginity four weeks after they started dating in an open field, where they had planned to have a picnic together. It was meant to be romantic, but just as everything else that had happened in her life prior that was meant to be positive, it turned out too good to be true.
She had barely been able to shove him off of her, coming a little too close to receiving something she absolutely did not want. To say he was pissed was an understatement. He abandoned her right then and there, leaving her to pick up the pieces that he had destroyed. When she returned to school the following day, everyone called her a slut.
That fire that once ignited brightly inside of her was starting to dim. The list of worries and fears that once didn’t exist now grew more and more each day. What remained was who she had in her corner: only herself.
—
A few friendships formed as she continued with high school, one being with popular girl Karen, the cheerleader that everyone desired. It was a bit laughable, being a nobody and forming a relationship with someone who all the boys fawned over. Joyce always wondered what it would be like to receive that much attention from others. What it would be like to not be ignored, but being independent was a good thing. She told herself she didn’t need anyone.
There were a few more boyfriends here and there, all of them being presented as bad boys that didn’t have a care in the world. She found out the hard way each time that their lack of care was genuine, always ending up back to being alone and heartbroken.
Senior year, at the age of seventeen, she met Lonnie Byers. He was sweet, charismatic, and he actually held the door open for her instead of leaving her to do it herself. It was early on when she decided that this was the man she wanted to be with forever.
Things with Lonnie started off good. Amazing, even. He took care of her, which was something that nobody else had ever done. Sure, they had their occasional arguments, but that was normal. As long as she didn’t say or do anything to stress him out, things would remain as they should’ve been.
Tip toeing around him became increasingly more difficult the further into their relationship, but she loved him and he loved her. Relationships weren’t meant to be easy and even if she had wanted to call it quits, the surprise that came soon after graduation made that impossible. They were becoming a family and you didn’t turn your back on family.
The first time Lonnie became physical was when she was five months. Her second trimester hit her the hardest, leaving her exhausted and depressed. All she wanted to do was sleep. The house was empty, her now husband off at work. Taking a little nap didn’t seem like a big deal, until what was meant to be an hour turned into more.
She woke up to the bedroom door swinging open, smacking the wall behind it with so much force, she was surprised it didn’t break. He questioned her as to why there was no dinner. The house was a mess, he claimed, but she had cleaned it just the day before. Her reasonings for why she had laid down and endless apologies meant nothing. He called her lazy and when she tried to come towards him to say she was sorry for what felt like the hundredth time, he pushed her. Hard. Before she knew it, she was on the ground, tears streaming down her face as she tried to process what had happened. That only seemed to make him more angry. He stormed out and there she was again, broken and alone.
—
Joyce’s main priority became her children. Her second born was another surprise but one she loved dearly. Nothing mattered to her more than those boys, but taking care of them in the way they deserved proved to be a difficult task. There was no support, something she had grown used to, but it made it hard to give them what they needed.
Lonnie didn’t want her to work. Not because he cared, but because he had this idea that she was meant to be the typical housewife, tending to the children and keeping the place nice and tidy for her husband. Whatever he said went, but his paycheck wasn’t helping to keep their boys fed and clothed. Most of that money she never saw, a large chunk of it going towards his addiction to drinking and gambling. Not working wasn’t an option for her anymore, so she got a job at Melvald's stocking shelves.
The family she dreamed of having one day was falling apart, nothing she did being enough to keep it together. The same as her parents, the man she married and the father of her children was absent. The times he was around consisted of drunken arguments and flying fists, leaving her bruised and torn from the inside out.
A divorce came much too late, when both of her sons were already old enough to form an understanding on what was going on with mommy and daddy. The final straw was when he tried to put his hands on their oldest.
Jonathan entered the room during one of their many fights, Lonnie’s strong hands gripping tightly onto her shoulders as he shook her so hard it made her feel dizzy.
A new flame had formed inside of her, but one she didn’t wish to have. One fueled by only anger and hatred. For once in her life she had begged to be left alone.
That strong-will was passed onto her first born, the visual of his father handling his mother as if she was some sort of toy that could be cast aside like nothing caused him to become irate. He jumped in without hesitation and without a solid plan in place, something that he had also gotten from her. Unluckily for them, life wasn’t very forgiving.
Lonnie had finally let go then, leaving Joyce to stumble back, arms sore from the pressure that was placed upon them. He was done with her for now, but only so he was able to turn his frustrations onto a much smaller and more innocent individual. He lifted his hand to strike Jonathan without a second thought, but those motherly reflexes were quick enough to pull him away before contact could be made.
Unlike herself, her children were never going to know what it felt like to be ignored. They had support and for that reason alone, she worked up enough courage to leave Lonnie for good.
—
The love she received from her children was more than enough. All she could ever want had come from them. Attention, affection, appreciation. It was genuine and not unrequited, yet she still felt it was undeserved.
To make ends meet, double shifts occurred often. She would wake at the crack of dawn and return home in the middle of the night, working herself ragged to ensure her children had all they could ever want and need, and more. Their tenth birthday would be special. Their interests and hobbies would be supported. They were taught to be independent not because they had nobody else, but because she wanted their strength and determination to remain. Whatever happened, she would be in their corner.
When Jonathan presented the idea of looking for a job to assist his mother with the bills, she immediately refused. He still had plenty of his youth left to enjoy and she didn’t want another year of it stolen from him just because she had again failed to give him what he deserved. She hated the thought, but he was persistent, yet another trait she had passed on, and the same as she had been with everything else her children had their minds set on, she learned to be supportive.
Now with two of the three members of the family working, her youngest spending his free time at the home that belonged to the friend she still sometimes wished she could be, keeping up with the craziness that was their lives was never easy.
As soon as Jonathan had landed himself a job, Joyce asked for his schedule. Sharing their hours with one another had become a weekly occurrence to ensure that Will would never be left alone.
—
On November 6th of 1983, Joyce Byers went to work like it was any other day. Thoughts of her children filled her mind often during the slow moments at the general store, helping to keep her sane and in good enough spirits to engage with the not so pleasant individuals of the town. She was working late again, but she knew that Jonathan would be there to welcome his younger brother back into their quiet home. With that in mind, she carried on with her shift, counting down the hours until she could return to the two people who never made her feel alone.
The next morning started off no different from the rest, a panicked Joyce scurrying to locate her missing car keys so that she wouldn’t be late for her early shift yet again. Jonathan was making breakfast, another task he had picked up on doing that she insisted wasn’t necessary, when she said her goodbyes. Will was not at the table, causing her to delay the process of leaving for another moment longer as she made her way down the hallway to his bedroom. That was where what ended up being the worst day of her life began.
Joyce had been frantic, completely abandoning the idea of getting to work to instead head over to the police station where she waited for over an hour until her old friend, Jim Hopper, decided to show.
Her determination to get to the bottom of what happened was blurred into insanity early on, nobody wanting to listen and take her concerns seriously. It started with Hopper, then his employees, the entire town, her own friend and then finally, her own child. Yet again she had no one in her corner, but whatever delusions people thought she possessed, she was not going to give up on Will.
That once peaceful home that belonged to her and her two boys became a wreck, lights strewn everywhere, random tools and weapons sat in her living room, a giant hole in the wall… All to get to the bottom of where Will had gone.
When Hopper came to her with the news that a body had been found, she felt sick to her stomach. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. Her boy was alive and he needed to be saved.
Lonnie returned, offering her the same familiar comfort he once had many years ago. He had been the last person on Earth she thought would be there for her and soon enough, she had realized again it was always too good to be true.
He came to her when she was vulnerable, hoping to use her like he had so many times before but she didn’t need him. She never needed him and once again, he was kicked out the door.
Having a funeral for a child is one of the most devastating things anyone could go through, but while most mourned the loss of their own, Joyce mourned the loss of no longer having anyone on her side. She knew the body being buried did not belong to Will. It wasn’t shock. It wasn’t delusion. It was simply not her son.
It had been a long week until Joyce was finally reunited with Will, but the relief of him being alive was short lived when the signs that something was wrong remained. He was home, but he wasn’t safe. Being a mother and taking care of her children was her top priority but even then, she felt that she wasn’t succeeding.
—
During the few years of trying to desperately search for a sense of normality, she found herself in her first relationship since her divorce with Bob Newby. Bob was kind, always going out of the way to make Joyce feel loved. He cared about her children and was respectful, never talking down to anyone or doing anything to make another feel unsafe. Most important of all, he was simple. He wasn’t hard to figure out, never leaving Joyce unsure of where he stood. He was communicative and receptive, but she didn’t love him. At least, not in the way that she should’ve.
The idea of Bob was what she loved the most. She cared for him deeply and was grateful for all he had done, for both her and her children, but she wasn’t in love. She didn’t know how to be.
One thing she was sure of when it came to this new blossoming relationship was that she wanted Bob around. Whether they remained a couple or not, the idea of losing him was too much for her to bear. She couldn’t lose another person. His care was genuine and she held onto that for as long as she could.
It was hard to dislike Bob, his heart of gold making even the rudest of people feel sorry for being cruel. He was there for everyone, so it didn’t surprise Joyce all that much when he offered her his assistance. It was accepted, but not without some hesitation. Getting too involved was dangerous and the last thing she wanted was to put yet another person in harms way.
He jumped in easily, doing whatever he could to remain there for her and her children, even when the truth of what had been going on with Will had been revealed. Most would’ve turned the other way and never looked back, but not Bob.
Oh, how Joyce wished Bob hadn’t been so kind. For once in her life she wished for the opposite. Wished that the relationship she was in had been like the others, where the care was one sided and the man didn’t hesitate to leave her in the dust. But he wasn’t like the others and while it had been what she once liked the most about him, it was the same reason he was taken away from her much too soon.
His death was on her. The memories of watching him be stripped out of her grasp replayed in her mind each time she closed her eyes. Another innocent person ruined, and it was all because of her.
—
The grief that came with losing yet another person clung onto her tightly, but the ability to freely express the emotions that went along with it never seemed to come. As she did with most of her feelings, she dealt with it alone. There was never a moment of peace. Not for her and not for any of those she held close.
Her friendship with Hopper, an old friend from high school that never really paid much attention to her in the beginning, had become something she depended on. There was no one else she trusted more than she did him. The way she felt for him, while confusing and mind boggling, was electric. Absolutely nothing about it had made sense, but one thing she knew for sure was that she never wanted to let him go.
Though just as everything else in her life, anything that she held too close always seemed to fade away.
They were a team. He was the person she went to for everything. The only friend she had that seemed to care about her in the same way she did them, but the care that was given to her, again, turned out to be a lot more than she deserved.
He was a hero. The one who, once like her, wasn’t afraid to dive into a dangerous situation headfirst, not a worry in the world about what would happen to him. Unlike her parents, high school lovers and friends, her ex husband, and every other shitty person who weaseled their way into her life, he made it a priority to keep her safe. And he did, but not without causing her to be stranded once again. Alone, confused, hurt, afraid. Every negative emotion hit her all at once, but she couldn’t deal with it. Not right now. Not ever, whether she wanted to or not. She had responsibilities. They had kids. She needed to be strong, no matter how badly she didn’t want to hold on any longer.
Pretending to be happy was a task she had succeeded in doing for more than half of her life, the smile that barely reached her eyes being believable enough to even those who cared enough to pay attention.
If it hadn’t been for her children, her two sons and now adopted daughter, she was sure she would’ve given up a long time ago. Some days she still wished she had, but she continued on, that fire within continuing to glow, no matter how badly it begged to be put out.
—
Eight long months passed, her family adjusting to the new life she had worked tirelessly to give to them. It was far from perfect, but anything was better than the life they had in Hawkins. She had a new job, they had a home that was nicely decorated and free of any memories that nobody wished to think of, no creatures or bad people to battle… Everything seemed to be okay.
The last thing she had expected to interrupt her new life in Lenora was a letter that had come from the ghost of the man she had spent the past eight months willing to do anything for to bring back to life. Anything to bring him back to her and their family.
That small sliver of hope that he was alive was something she held onto since the moment he disappeared in front of her eyes. Maybe she really was crazy for thinking it could be true, but the same as he never did to her, she wasn’t giving up on him.
A plan had been set into motion before she was ever able to wrap her mind around what was going on and without any hesitance, she was on her way to bring back the person she had realized she wanted to spend the rest of her days with. Nothing in her life had ever made sense, but things became a little clearer with him by her side. That was something she was sure of.
—
The joy that came with being reunited with someone you thought you had lost forever was a feeling that could never be overshadowed, even with the dangers that never seemed to stop coming her way. Their family was back together again and Joyce had never felt happier than she did in that very moment, standing with the most important people in her life.
But just as it always did when she was finally happy, life threw another trick her way. Hand in hand with the man who made her feel on top of the world, she watched as that same world began to crumble down around her.