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The buzzing of your phone was hard to ignore, and no matter how hard you tried to keep your mind off of it, all of your senses seemed to zero in on the repetitive noise.
You didn’t need to check who was calling, considering that there’s only one person who would have the nerve to call you at two in the morning. Though if you were being completely honest with yourself, you had to admit that it was partially on you for always picking up the phone despite your better judgment.
“What do you want now, Rin?”
“Is that how you answer my calls now?” When you didn’t answer, he continued on, “I just wanted to know if I could come over.”
“ No .”
“But, I miss you.”
You rolled your eyes at that line, having heard that one plenty of times before. Sarcastically, you mumbled out, “Good for you.”
“I’m outside your door.” As if to emphasize his point, you heard a quick knock on your front door and you let out an audible groan of annoyance.
You knew how this was going to go, because it always goes the same way: Rindou shows up, you fuck, and then he leaves after you fall asleep. Yet despite knowing how it was going to play out, you found yourself begrudgingly making your way to the front door to let him in.
He pushed past you the moment you opened the door and headed right for your bedroom. You closed the door and laid your head against it for a minute, still groggy after having been rudely woken up by your ex.
It’s going to end up the same way.
You shut your eyes, wishing that you were anywhere but here. As much as you still loved Rindou, you two had broken up for a reason. It had only made sense to split up when neither of you seemed to have time to be together anymore, yet somehow after the two of you split, Rindou suddenly made time to come bother you in the middle of the night.
And you continued to let it happen.
Taking a deep breath, you made your way to your bedroom, finding a now shirtless Rindou sitting at the edge of your bed, motioning for you to walk towards him. As soon as you were within arms reach of him, his hand found your wrist and yanked you towards him, causing the two of you to fall back onto the bed together. Rindou immediately buried his face into your neck and you tried to ignore how his own scent overtook your senses, that familiar smell nearly calming your conflicted heart.
“I really did miss you.”
You couldn’t exactly say you felt the same because you spent your days trying not to think about him, but you felt there was little point in saying that. So, you ran your fingers through his hair, hoping that he would accept your silence.
Laying together like this was something the two of you used to do all the time, before you both became too busy for one another.
Or too uninterested to continue the relationship.
It left a bitter taste in your mouth that it took ending things for the two of you to get back to this. You recalled asking Rindou over and over again to try to compromise with you so that the two of you could get back to seeing each other often, but he had kept making up bullshit excuses as to why he couldn’t. It didn’t take long for you to give up, just accepting that you both would be unable to see each other due to conflicting schedules.
The memories left a bitter taste in your mouth, so you decided to push them away, instead focusing on the occasional kisses Rindou pressed against your neck. He moved his hand to cup your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. With a gentle bite to your bottom lip while his other hand trailed up under your shirt, you could hear the voice in your head reminding you that this will end just like it did before if you continue to give him access to you.
Just as Rindou’s fingers grazed over your chest, an obnoxiously loud ringtone started playing, causing Rindou to groan in annoyance as he moved away from you, pulling his phone out from his pocket.
“It’s two in the morning. Why the hell are you calling me so early?”
You nearly laughed at that; leave it to Rindou to not think twice about calling you this early yet get mad when he receives the same treatment. The moment he got off that phone, you were going to throw that right back–
“Yeah, whatever. Tell Mikey I’ll be there then,” Rindou rolled his eyes at whatever the person on the other end of the line said. “I heard you the first time two times you said it.” You faintly heard the voice chattering away still when Rindou lowered the phone and ended the call.
He dragged a hand down his face while letting out a sigh, unhappy with whatever news he just received. He shoved the phone back in his pocket, before turning back to you, “It was Sanzu. Said that Mikey was–”
“Sanzu? Mikey ? You can’t be serious.” You knew that he and Sanzu knew each other, but when the hell did he and Mikey get acquainted? The same Mikey that refused to talk to you for the past year for reasons unknown.
Rindou gave you a look, obviously not understanding what you were getting at and you fought the urge to hit him upside the head with a pillow despite how satisfying you were sure it would be. Instead, you took a moment to collect your thoughts before continuing, “Hearing that my ex is hanging out with two of my closest childhood friends–who won’t even speak to me anymore, mind you–is honestly really upsetting.”
“I don’t see how that’s my fault. And we’re not ‘hanging out.’ It’s–”
“Let me guess… it's just business? The same business that you were too busy with to make time for me?” You rubbed your forehead as you were beginning to stress yourself out, mumbling out a quiet “too busy hanging with my friends.”
You moved away from Rindou, ready to bury yourself in the covers and go to bed rather than deal with the wave of emotions hitting you. Rindou grabbed the blanket from you, glaring at you as he forced your attention back to him.
“Don’t just say that shit and turn away! It’s not like I’m friends with them, but you wouldn’t get it.”
“Of course I wouldn’t get it, Rin! None of this makes sense!” Your voice came out louder than expected, surprising the both of you. “I lost my friends out of nowhere. Then I lost you because you suddenly couldn’t spare some time for me, but you have nooo issue coming over in the middle of the night now. I don’t even know why I keep letting you back in! And then I find out all of you are getting together doing whatever .” You take a moment to let yourself breathe, “So no , I don't get it.”
There was a long silence before Rindou said something that you couldn’t quite catch, either because he was too quiet or your thoughts were too loud.
“What?”
“Do you want me to just ask for you back?” When you said nothing, still processing his words, he went on, “I’m trying to show you that I still love you. I’m making time for you again, aren’t I?” He gestured to himself as if saying ‘hey, I’m right here, right now!’
“And the only time you can do that is in the middle of the night while I’m trying to go to sleep?” At that, his hands fell to his sides, unsure of how exactly to respond to that because he knew you had a point. You glanced over at the clock, realizing how much time has already passed. “I don’t want you to ask for me back, Rin. I want you to leave. Just let me sleep.”
You laid back down in your spot, back facing Rindou as you closed your eyes. You knew he was still standing there, and a part of you wondered if he would crawl into bed with you, always too stubborn to listen. But, after a moment, you heard him leave and despite you being the one to end things with him, you being the one to tell him to go, you felt a twinge of disappointment inside of you.
Maybe he’ll call again at two in the morning another day and you can pretend things are different.