Chapter Text
Hirofumi has been a private devil hunter for a bit over two years now, and the job never gets less weird. He does more low-profile bodyguarding than he does devil hunts - a teenager with a good contract makes a great companion for rich kids, the sons and daughters of politicians or celebrities. He doesn’t draw attention the way an adult in a suit does, and his charges are usually a little bit less put out at being put with him than some kind of strange man. Especially the girls.
Before Denji, his longest contract had lasted three weeks. He’d been put with the daughter of a presidential candidate - Rokuro Mika - during the leadup to the election. Her father’d been leading the incumbent by two points and the risk of the family being targeted to force him to drop out had been high.
Rokuro-san is fine. She’s going to college now, Hirofumi thinks. Her father dropped dead of a stroke the morning of the vote. Given Makima’s contract with the president - the president still in power - it’s not too hard to connect the dots.
The contract Kishibe-sensei approached him with for Denji? Indefinite.
It’s the first time he’s ever worked with someone he’s already worked with. It’s… a little awkward. The first job hadn’t even been about Denji, not really. He’d gotten the bare bones from Makima - a sheet of paper, not even double sided - with Denji’s biography, plus a thick manila file on what he should know about Santa Claus.
But Denji had still been involved. Hirofumi wasn’t supposed to just let him die for Santa Claus, so there’d been some kind of… protective detail implied in the contract. Somewhere. But whatever the hell it is that Denji is, he’s infinitely more capable of keeping himself alive than any human bodyguard could do for him. Hirofumi had thought him kind of an asshole. In a funny way, not in a holy fuck when will this job be over? Kind of way. He had driven Kusakabe nuts. It was hilarious.
The contract he’s on now is a bit different.
“I don’t need you to keep him alive or any of that shit,” Kishibe-sensei had told him. They had been sitting on a bench in a dog park, Denji corralling seven full-grown dogs (Huskies, even, which are the worst dogs. Utter drama queens) a cat on a tether, and a little girl in a black dress that gave Yoshida a bad feeling.
Talking in public like this would have been a death sentence, were Makima alive. But she’s not. And the person who killed her is walking her dogs.
“At this point, if something’s going to kill that kid I wish it luck and look forward to the mess he makes of it on the way out,” Kishibe-sensei said, tapping a cigarette out of his carton, “Unfortunately, that only applies to violent threats.”
It didn’t exactly need to be spelled out. Whatever - whoever, Hirofumi supposes that’s more accurate since Denji’s not a thing - whoever Denji is, he has no idea how to figure out when someone’s trying to take advantage of him.
Hence, the contract.
It’s more like glorified babysitting than bodyguarding. Denji needs someone to keep an eye out for him, and prevent him from fucking himself over by falling for a girl that may or may not be a semi-devil Russian assassin.
It’s one of the best jobs Hirofumi’s gotten. He gets paid every month out of Kishibe’s personal account, he’s still going to school, the risk of death is relatively low, and he gets days off whenever Denji’s busy with Kishibe or wants a day to hang out with his creepy kid. It’s like being a part of the public hunter’s union, without the mandated assignments to take on devils the civilian sector has passed on.
(Denji handles that himself quite neatly. The lunatic.)
Hirofumi did have to transfer schools. Denji’s going to the biggest school in the entire Tokyo metropolitan area, which means Hirofumi is going with him. Not a huge deal, even if it is a bit of a pain in the ass. And it does mean he has to spend time with Denji and his seven dogs (huskies!!) and his weird kid that Hirofumi is pretty sure isn’t related to him.
Makima gave him a single-page biography. Kishibe-sensei doesn’t give him anything. Whatever - Hirofumi’s a threat-detector, not a buddy. He already knows the important stuff - Denji can turn into a chainsaw fiend, he will eat almost anything resembling food, and he’s not so good with people.
‘Not so good with people’ is what tends to cause problems.
Denji had not been pleased with Hirofumi getting assigned to watch over him. Hirofumi would call him a ladies man, but he’s really not great at talking to girls either. Denji is less of a people person and more a dog that’s been kicked in the ribs one too many times - whatever it is Makima did to him made him skittish and snappy, but the distrust of men runs a little deeper than that.
Hirofumi tries not to read into it. His job is to watch out for threats, not to protect Denji from his own crazy. Their working relationship stabilized about three days in when Denji realized Hirofumi wasn’t going to tell him to do things, and now they pretty much ignore each other aside from the weekday ritual of walking too and from school together or running the occasional errand.
“Which is,” Denji says every single time, “Totally unnecessary. I don’t want to walk to school with a guy.”
“We can talk about it again when you get a girlfriend,” Hirofumi says every single time just because it’s the only thing that prevents an argument. Hirofumi thinks Denji likes the when -and then tries not to read into that, too.
‘Not so good with people’ means they’ve been at the school for a couple of weeks now, and Denji has no leads on friends (he chatters about different pretty girls on the walk home every day, and never about actually talking to them) but is starting to build up a rivalry with his teachers. He’s in tutoring, so going to class is more about social skills than assignments. Teachers don’t like having special-ed kids in their classes, and Denji is… well, Denji is Denji about it.
‘Not so good with people’ also means that when Hirofumi does see people talking to Denji, he needs to keep a close eye on it. Usually it’s something like Kuroda-san needing a pencil or Watanabe-san letting Denji know there was an old receipt stuck to his shoe. Not a big deal. Probably not the lead-in to some grand, masterful plot to enslave Chainsaw Man. And if it is… well, they’ll talk to him again.
Other times it’s walking in on that Mitaka-san talking to Denji, with that strange golden glint in her eyes that she did not have in the devil hunters club, the line of scars on her cheek and across her nose well-healed and yet not always present.
Shit.
Hirofumi hasn’t told Denji about Mitaka-san yet. She’s a first-year, so the risk of them interacting between classes was low, and Hirofumi’s usually with Denji on the way into and out of school. Telling Denji hey btw there’s a girl that may or may not be trying to kill you would probably be the fastest way to get them to meet, since Denji would go looking like the absolute nutcase he is.
She took him up on his devil hunter’s club tip. She asked him about Chainsaw Man, and then took him up on the devil hunters club tip. Anyone willing to believe that Chainsaw Man would be in a club like that is either lovestruck or desperate for leads.
Given she immediately asked him to be her boyfriend, Hirofumi isn’t exactly leaning towards lovestruck.
And now she’s talking to Denji.
I’m gonna ask Kishibe-sensei for a raise, Hirofumi thinks, walking over to the two as quickly as he can without seeming suspicious.
“Hey boy,” says Mitaka-san, leaning in. Did she already ask Denji about Chainsaw Man? Hopefully he still had enough blood left in his upstairs brain to remember to lie.
Hirofumi winces at what comes next -
“Shall I make you my boyfriend?” she asks him
Unfortunately, this is a terrible thing to ask Denji, because Denji has rock-bottom standards and Mitaka-san is objectively very pretty. Big eyes, nice black hair, decent shoulders. She swings wildly between anxious wreck and domineering woman, which definitely adds to the bad vibe Hirofumi’s getting off her. Since Denji was into Makima, domineering is probably the best/worst way to approach him.
Fuck.
Hirofumi doesn’t have a second to think, needs to fix this before Denji can open his stupid mouth and - what? Accidentally pledge loyalty to another devil of Control? Get into a murder-romance with a hybrid spy? Somehow end up in a perfectly normal relationship that he’s probably going to tell Hirofumi all about, ew. There’s no good answer here.
Hirofumi has no good answer for what comes next.
“There you are,” Hirofumi says, getting much, much closer to Denji than is strictly polite, way closer than he’d usually risk. He keeps his voice soft, pitched a bit lower than usual, ignoring the look of extreme confusion Denji gives him. C’mon. Work with me here. “I was looking for you. We’re late for woodworking.”
“Dude,” says Denji, scowling. But he doesn’t step back (or kick Hirofumi in the groin the way he did the last man Hirofumi saw loom over him like this) so Hirofumi’s going to count it as playing along. “Miyake-sensei’s, like, always late. We’re good.”
Hirofumi blinks. Says, “Maybe I wanted to walk with you,” all earnest and soft, and then before Denji can ruin it by squawking in disgust or something obvious, Hirofumi grabs his wrist too hard and squeezes in a silent command to be quiet. He looks at Mitaka-san, at the weird scars on her face, and asks, “Do you mind if I steal him?”
She does not look upset, or flushed red with embarrassment, or shy around Hirofumi like she was in the devil hunter’s meeting, shy the way a normal girl would be after getting so soundly rejected by a guy.
“By all means,” is why she says, flat and emotionless, “I was done with him, anyway.”
“Wha -” Denji squawks. Hirofumi squeezes tighter, until he feels the bones of Denji’s wrist grind together.
“Later, then,” Hirofumi says, “Come on, Denji.”
Miracle of all miracles, Denji waits until they’ve turned a corner - and pulls Hirofumi by his belt into the men’s restroom, hauling him off the ground and shouldering the swinging door open so he can slam Hirofumi into the tile.
Ow.
“What the hell, man?” Denji’s brow is crushed in, his blue eyes almost black with irritation, lip curled to show his sharp teeth. It’s a good face. If Hirofumi were, say, an ordinary teenage girl looking for a normal boyfriend, the face would scare him off.
But he’s not, so it doesn’t.
“That girl was totally into me,” Denji tells him, pressing his knuckles hard into Hirofumi’s sternum. Why’d you have to come and -”
“She did the same thing to me,” Hirofumi tells him, reaching up and yanking pointedly at Denji’s wrist again. “You’re going to break my ribs.”
“Maybe I want to break your ribs.” Denji tells him, nostrils flaring. “So she likes boys, I really think you’re being too much of a prude about this.”
Denji, you absolute doorknob.
“Look,” says Hirofumi. Don’t break Denji’s hands - Kishibe-sensei won’t fire you, but he will laugh and that’s worse. “This isn’t a good place to talk. Let’s -”
“Like hell it isn’t,” Denji interrupts. “You know I’m -” he breaks off when someone flushes, the creaky old stall door swinging open.
Fukui-san walks out, rubbing at his nose, and freezes when he sees them, staring wide-eyed at Denji pinning Hirofumi to the wall, Hirofumi standing there and letting him.
Hirofumi smiles. It is not a nice smile. “Wash your hands.” he says.
Fukui-san swallows.
Hirofumi turns back to Denji. “Later,” says Hirofumi, “I promise. On the walk home. Let’s go to woodworking for now, okay?”
Denji’s eyes thin. But, very slowly, the weight comes of Hirofumi’s chest. Hirofumi strangles the urge to suck in a deep breath and cough, reaching up to rub at the ache of a building bruise on his sternum the moment Denji scoffs and lets go, turning away and stretching at the back of his scalp.
“Fine,” Denji says. Hirofumi doesn’t close his eyes and sigh in relief, but that’s only because Fukui-san is trying to pretend that Hirofumi and Denji aren’t blocking the door and he wants to be hanging out in the bathroom for… whatever reason. Hirofumi would prefer it if Fukui-san were afraid of him.
“Fine,” Denji says again, pointing an accusatory finger at Hirofumi, “But if your explanation sucks I’m not gonna make you lunch anymore.”
Hirofumi winces. Ouch. What’d he do to deserve that? Except for fuckup Denji’s perceived love life.
…The explanation is the answer, of course.
---
The afternoon passes uneventfully. Most uneventfully. They’re still going through safety procedures in woodworking, so Hirofumi doesn’t need to worry about Denji getting his hands on any other kind of saw just yet. There’s a very brief period of excitement where Denji gets in trouble for eating during math-3 again and has to go run laps outside, but that’s pretty normal for Shimamura-sensei’s class.
Aside from that, the day passes without incident. Right up until it’s time to walk home.
Their lockers are right next to each other, since they transferred in midway through the year together- on the wrong floor for the second-year classes and irritatingly close to the gym locker rooms. Still, it’s convenient since they don’t have last period together, makes it easy to meet up for the walk home.
They shove their books into their lockers, Denji reaching out and stealing the bento from Hirofumi’s unzipped backpack without asking and shoving it in his own. Anticipation on Denji looks a lot like aggression.
Then they leave.
“You -”
“Wait until we’re further from the school.”
Denji makes it about two blocks. Good enough.
“Dude!” Denji says, kicking Hirofumi in the ankle. “Seriously, what the fuck.”
Hirofumi sighs, tipping his head back. This job is great. The charge is funny. But also, actually leading him around is like trying to herd a cat into a river. “Okay, hear me out - I think Mitaka-san is possessed by a devil.”
It’s not obvious, exactly, but the disappearing scar, the colour changing eyes - those aren’t human traits. The fact that Mitaka-san is so shy and anxious in the devil hunter’s club - a girl can’t even stand to look Hirofumi in the face after rejection shouldn’t be able to ask boys out so aggressively. It’s not normal behaviour.
“She asked you about Chainsaw Man, right?” Hirofumi asks, raising a brow. Denji nods - of course he nods. What else would they talk about? “What did you say?”
Denji shrugs. “I said they guy sounded like a real dick. Anyone running around hacking up random devils is probably on the yakuza payroll.”
Hirofumi frowns. Denji grins.
“Yakuza?” Hirofumi asks. “He wears the public safety uniform.” He - they’re talking about Denji in the third person now. Wonderful.
“Katana Dude was yakuza. It could be true,” says Denji. “She seemed to think I was an idiot, though.”
There’s that, at least.
“Wait, wait, wait.” says Denji, screwing up his nose. “You joined the devil hunters club? Kishibe-sensei told me not to do that.”
“You’re not a very subtle person,” Hirofumi tells him, “And I’m only doing it to investigate Mitaka-san. Especially now that she’s talked to you.”
“I can be subtle,” says Denji.
“Denji. You turn into a chainsaw monster and eviscerate devils for fun.”
“Yeah, and I do it subtly.”
“You’ve been on federal news every day for weeks.”
“Yeah, but not my face,” Denji huffs. “Obviously. Or Mitaka wouldn’t be looking for me.”
Hirofumi will give him that.
“I’ll join too,” says Denji, nodding firmly. “I can fold it into my patrolling.”
“No,” says Hirofumi immediately.
“Wha - hey, fuck you man, don’t tell me what to do.”
“I’m no- I am a little bit,” Hirofumi admits, which takes a little bit of the fight out of Denji right away, thank fuck. “You’ll just get assigned to some random twosome if you do that,” he explains, Denji frowning in consideration, “You can tag along with me.”
Denji sighs, but in the face of a practical explanation, has no choice but to agree. Mostly. There’s always a question with him, these days. “Won’t your teammates be put out that you’re bringing a friend?”
Hirofumi clears his throat. “Well,” he says, “Not if I tell them we’re dating.”
Some other things Hirofumi’s figured out about Denji -
It only takes a few minutes to learn Denji likes women, and not much longer to figure out Denji doesn’t like men. His family was killed, Hirofumi knows - that devil hunter with the top-knot who was so hilariously sensible next to Denji and the two-horned blood fiend. Hirofumi doesn’t know the details, but they’re not here, and Denji’s been saddled with the creepiest kid known to man, so it didn't take him too long to connect the dots - the family was killed. Kishibe-sensei gave him a new one to keep Denji happy.
Little manipulative, but whatever. Nobody involved in the mess this Chainsaw business has made is kind or nice or compassionate. Maybe good - Hirofumi is pretty sure Kishibe-sensei is good. But definitely not moral.
Denji doesn’t like it when Hirofumi tells him he doesn’t need to know something, even when it’s as stupid as Hirofumi not telling him what book he’s reading. He doesn’t like loud noises or locked doors. He doesn’t eat meat. Hirofumi mentioned it to Kishibe-sensei a few days into the job, noted down Kishibe-sensei’s wince, and didn’t ask. With Denji, anything and everything can be a mine waiting to go off.
Denji likes it when people explain things to him. Putting together clues and context cues takes him forever. He likes clear deadlines, knowing when he’s going to get an answer or get to leave whatever it is they’re doing. He also, for the most part, calms down really fast if you actually explain something, even if you’ve managed to seriously piss him off.
So. Before Denji breaks his pelvis by kicking Hirofumi in the groin, Hirofumi says “I’m not asking you out, you lunatic!”
“Fuck you,” Denji snaps. “I’m not into guys!”
“Yeah, I got that,” says Hirofumi, taking a cautious step back, “Just shut up and listen to me for a second.”
“Why!?”
“Because, fucker, I’m on your side here!”
Denji pauses.
“Mitaka-san thinking she has one of my secrets might get her to open up to me,” Hirofumi tells him. “Especially if she thinks I’m not just an asshole who turned her down for no reason.”
“Ah!” says Denji, leaping to conclusions. “You want to go out with her!”
Hirofumi does not roll his eyes. It’s a shame scaring the shit out of Denji will compromise his ability to guard the idiot.
“If I wanted to go out with her,” Hirofumi explains, enunciating the words very carefully, “I would have said so when she asked me out, asshole.”
“Then!” Denji says, “You changed your mind!”
“No.” says Hirofumi.
“Yes!”
“No.” Hirofumi sighs. “Okay. Listen. You and I pretending to date solves a lot of problems here. Mitaka-san will take advantage of it. It’ll explain why we spend a lot of time together, it -”
“-Will totally kill my chances at getting a girlfriend,” Denji says.
True. Fortunately, Hirofumi has an answer for that.
“Think of it like practice for the next school,” Hirofumi tells him, “We both know Kishibe-sensei’s going to move you the moment he thinks anyone’s even kind of suspicious about Chainsaw Man. This way you might not be so hopeless.”
“I’m not hopeless,” Denji says immediately. “And who says I need practice! I’ve been on dates.”
“With…” Hirofumi raises a brow.
Denji frowns. Frowns more. “Reze,” he admits. “But that totally counts.”
“Sure,” says Hirofumi. Why not? The Russian hybrid assassin was probably a better intro to romance than Makima. “Well, I’m not going to try to kill you two dates in, so - probably. Probably. I’m probably not going to kill you two dates in.”
“Nice save.”
“Shut up. You can survive being decapitated, I reserve my right to take your head off.” says Hirofumi. “It’s easier to fit you into a bag and book it that way.”
“Uh, you need my chest if you want to revive me,” says Denji, “‘Cause a my ripcord.”
“Right.” but the head needs to come, too, for identification reasons. Hirofumi does not say that bit out loud. “Whatever. The thing is - Mitaka-san is asking people out, so the obvious solution is being unavailable. We date, whatever. It doesn’t need to be super obvious, since being gay isn’t really…” Hirofumi frowns.
“I’m not gay,” says Denji.
“I’m more thinking about the legality,” says Hirofumi. “It’s not illegal, but being closeted would be expected in public. Keep it to devil hunter club... I don’t think Yuko-san will mind, she’s like. Weirdly friendly. And Mitaka-san will probably take advantage of having a vulnerability, if she’s really possessed.”
Denji blinks.
“Do you know what being closeted is?” Hirofumi asks.
“No,” says Denji, frowning.
“It just means keeping your relationship to yourself,” says Hirofumi. Kinda, sorta. It’ll work for now.
“Okay,” says Denji, “But also, I’m not fucking gay.”
Hirofumi sighs. “Relax,” he says. “There’s not a gay test you need to pass. Nobody will care if you’re terrible at being a boyfriend.”
Denji’s more offended at the implication that he’d be bad at being gay than about Hirofumi proposing a relationship. Of course he is. That totally makes sense. Whatever, Hirofumi’s happy to take advantage of Denji’s tendency to get hung up on weird things when it works in his favour.
Denji splutters in offense. “Excuse you,” he says. “I’d be an amazing boyfriend, thank you. The best. I can cook. I know how to unhook a bra. I’ve got dogs. Everyone loves dogs.”
“You’ve got huskies,” says Hirofumi. “Objectively the worst dog.”
“You don’t like dogs!?”
Hirofumi frowns. “I like dogs,” he says, “When I see one. I don’t want to have to train one.” Especially not a huskie.
“Good, they’re my dogs, you keep your weird ideas away from them.” Denji blows a heavy breath out his nose and pushes his lip out. “I don’t want to go out with a guy.”
But he’s calming down. Good sign. More frustrated and annoyed than angry. For all Denji’s weird about everything, ever, all his hangups seem to come from bad memories and not bigotry.
Hirofumi decides to sweeten the pot. “Girls like it when guys have dated guys,” he says, even though it’s sorta… way more complicated than that, “Because then you know how annoying men are and will treat her better.”
Denji perks up at that. “Really?”
Well, no because there’s this thing called ‘people don’t like bisexuals’ but - “Yes. Definitely.” says Hirofumi, nodding firmly. “Like I said. I’m on your side. We’ll deal with Mitaka-san and by the time we move schools you’ll be,” he coughs lightly. “A bona fide Casanova. For sure.”
The urge to laugh makes it really hard to keep his face straight. At least Denji seems less put out. Maybe a little confused -
“Casanova is from an old American film,” Hirofumi says.
“Oh.” says Denji. “I haven’t seen that one yet.”
“I can bring you my sister’s disk tomorrow,” Hirofumi says. “So? Yes? Want to be fake boyfriends who fight devils together?”
“Ugh, fine,” says Denji. Ah-ha. There we go. “But only for the girls.”
“And not your impending death or dismemberment.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Denji says with a shrug, already apparently moving past his bad temper. Hirofumi has no idea how Denji’s mood works and somehow he doubts he will figure it out. “Fine. Fuck you. I’m going to be the best gay boyfriend ever.”
“Right,” says Hirofumi, not taking him seriously at all. “Great. Sounds fun. Ready to go home?”
“No, I need to hit up the grocery,” says Denji. “We’re out of paneer.”
Grocery shopping with Denji is always an adventure. Hirofumi mentally adds preventing him and the sample employees from throttling each other over free fish to his monthly invoice. “Does this mean you’re still going to make me lunch?”
Denji scoffs. “I’m going to make you the most annoying lunch you’ve ever seen, asshole.”
“Great.” says Hirofumi. How… can food be annoying? He supposes he will find out tomorrow. Maybe he should bring money for the cafeteria just in case. “Alright. To the grocery. You want to pick up the kid?”
“Nayuta’s with her aunt,” Denji tells him. “Hey, you liked the dal, right? Or was it too spicy? Nayuta wouldn’t eat it.”
“I thought it was fine. Little kids don’t usually like spicy things, though.” An aunt? That’s the first Hirofumi has heard of any other relative. “You could put cream in it to cut the spice?”
“I could.”
Hirofumi leaves an extra few centimeters between them as they walk to the grocery. He’s invaded Denji’s personal space enough today, he thinks.
Besides, there’s plans to be made - without any real affection, and with someone like Denji, acting like a couple is going to be… interesting. And, more importantly Hirofumi is going to have to report all this to Kishibe-sensei.
Maybe he should have just let Denji fuck himself over with Mitaka-san.
Too late now.
---
He finds out what an annoying lunch is at seven in the morning, when Denji hands him a bento box wrapped in pink cloth. The cloth has runs of a shiny gold thread through the weave, making it very eye catching.
“Oh, wow,” he says, holding it up to the lights. He had to come into the apartment today, even though he likes to leave Denji his private space, because standing in the halls risks the dogs running out like a pack of nutcases and shedding all over the carpet. “Why?”
“‘Cause pink is a gay colour.” Denji tells him. He’s tying Nayuta’s shoes for her, his hair still a cloud of slowly drying fluff. Must have woken up late. “I don’t have any with hearts.”
“Thank the kami for that,” says Hirofumi, tucking the bento into his bag. “You know the only people we need to tell are Mitaka-san and Yuko-san?”
“Fuck you, I said I was gonna be a good boyfriend.” Denji glares at him, finishing the bows. “Okay. Just wait here with Yoshida for a second, I’m gonna grab your bag.”
“Okay,” says Nayuta, kicking her feet and studying her shoelaces with an eerie amount of concentration for a little girl. One of the huskies clacks his teeth, tracking the dangling ends of the laces like he’s going to try to take the shoe right off her foot.
“Daycare?” Yoshida asks.
“Yep!” says Denji, disappearing into the cluttered apartment, reappearing with a purple backpack with cartoon dogs on it. Only some of them are huskies. “Trying to get her ready for real school in the spring.”
“School,” Nayuta repeats.
“And this time she’s not going to bite the sensei and get kicked out the same day, right kiddo?”
Nayuta nods solemnly. Hirofumi does Not trust her an inch.
“Where’s the drop-off?” he asks.
“It’s on the way.” Denji says, handing Nayuta the bag. She stares at him unblinking, until Denji pulls her onto his back, holding both their school bags in one hand. “By the, uh. The thing. The place where the goldfish devil was.”
“Oh that daycare,” says Hirofumi, who does not remember it at all. “You ready?”
“Yep,” says Denji.
“Without your tie?”
Denji looks down, and then scowls. “The school uniform doesn’t have a tie!”
They leave a couple of minutes late, a chorus of mournful howls following them all the way down the block. Denji must have left one of the windows open again.
They drop Nayuta off, which makes them even later, since the intake lady wants Denji to do a bunch of paperwork right then and there. They do not do the paperwork, because they don’t have time for it, but it still takes a few minutes to gently cajole the lady into backing off. The fact that Denji tells Nayuta ‘not to bite anyone unless they really deserve it’ is… unhelpful. Still, Hirofumi perseveres. It’s a good thing, Hirofumi thinks, that he’s been a bodyguard for so long. It can be hard to nail the right balance of ‘pretty young man’ and ‘pants-shittingly terrifying devil hunter’ that charms people into doing what he wants without them calling the cops.
Not that Hirofumi couldn’t deal with the cops. But. Best to be avoided.
By the time they make it to school, it’s halfway through first period and there’s really no reason to go. They slip through the halls as quietly as possible in the hopes of avoiding a truancy detention.
Skipping first gives Hirofumi a little time for his plan. Second period they have separately. Hirofumi is in biology-1 instead of general science-3 like Denji is.
“I’m gonna hang out in the library till then,” says Denji, “Iori-sensei loves me, she won’t snitch.”
“Iori-sensei only likes you because you bring her snacks.”
“It works on everyone,” says Denji, with great satisfaction. “You coming?”
“Nah,” says Hirofumi, “I need to spring a trap.”
Denji shrugs. “‘Kay. See you in third, then.”
“Yeah, sounds good.”
Hirofumi doesn’t head for the second year science hallways. He goes to the second floor instead, where the first years have their core classes, and waits for Mitaka-san’s class to end. She’d told Yuko-san she was with Tanaka-sensei’s class, if Hirofumi is remembering rightly (and he is, because Tanaka-sensei died just a few days ago. Suspicious? In the context of everything else, Hirofumi would say Mitaka-san’s homeroom teacher biting it meets the criteria).
She’s the last out of the class, waiting until the hallway crush has died down to limp out of the room. Her face is clean, her eyes are dark - back to being a shrinking damsel, huh? Hirofumi smiles and raises his hand to catch her eye, tipping his head like walk with me?
She doesn’t want to, but walks over to him anyway. “Yoshida-san,” she says, “Aren’t you going to be late for class?”
“Maybe a little.” Hirofumi says. “I’ll walk you to next period. What do you have?”
“Uhm. Science-dash-2?”
Hirofumi doesn’t know where the firstie science hallway is, and lets Mitaka-san lead.
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Hirofumi says, walking with Mitaka-san through the rapidly emptying halls. The late bell will ring in a second. “If you have a minute?”
She doesn’t, but she probably doesn’t care about school either, if she’s hunting Chainsaw Man. “Sure,” Mitaka-san says. “About the club?”
“About Denji,” says Hirofumi. They slow almost to a stop. “I wanted to apologize for cutting in on you two.”
Mitaka-san does not seem particularly invested in the apology. She blinks up at him, says “That’s fine. I, uh.” stops. Doesn’t start up again, her eyes going kind of blurry and unfocussed, looking to the left of Hirofumi’s chest. Behind him, he thinks.
Hirofumi politely pretends to ignore it. “Denji says I can be a bit rude,” he does not smile as he says it, because he doesn’t think he can pull of ‘lightly conspiratorial’ without veering directly into ‘oh shit oh fuck’. “I didn’t want to leave the wrong impression, especially since we’re devil hunter buddies.”
Ha ha.
“Denji’s your friend, right?” Mitaka-san asks, a shadow of something on her face. “The blond boy?”
“Yes,” says Hirofumi. “Well. A bit more than friends…”
He lets the implication hang until Mitaka-san’s eyes widen in understanding. “Aah,” she says. “Oh. Well - that’s. Good!”
“I figure it’s fine to tell you, since we’re in club together,” Hirofumi says, “It doesn’t bother you?”
“No! No, it doesn’t bother me,” she says shaking her head. “Uhm. I’m - I’m sorry about before. Asking you out. I wouldn’t’ve done that if I weren’t - well. If I knew.”
“That’s okay,” says Hirofumi. ‘If I weren’t’ what? What was supposed to be tacked on to the end there? “We’re pretty quiet about it, since…”
“Yeah.” says Mitaka-san. Her eyes are clear and fixed on his face, but every so often her gaze flickers to the left of his chest again. What is she looking at? “Thanks for… telling me, Yoshida-san. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
“I’d appreciate that.” Now Yoshida smiles, one of the nicer, friendlier smiles he uses for new clients. “You’re a good friend, Mitaka-san.”
Mitaka-san blinks. She mouths the word friend, like she’s never heard it before.
Aww. It’d be cute, if Yoshida weren’t mostly sure she’s just a dressed up corpse being used for murder.
“I’ll see you in club later,” Hirofumi tells her. “You should get to class before your sensei gives you detention.”
Mitaka-san jerks. “Right!” she says, “Oh, and Abe-sensei is such a dick.”
Hirofumi laughs.
Good. Excellent, even. Denji is on board, Mitaka-san took Hirofumi at his word. It’s always good when a plan actually goes to plan. Now he just needs to get through the school day, and through devil hunter club (ew), and through his debrief with Kishibe-sensei in the evening.
Kishibe-sensei is going to either laugh when he hears about Hirofumi’s solution, or he’s going to start drinking heavily. They’re both entertaining in their own way, when Hirofumi upsets Kishibe-sensei on purpose. Not too many things take the old hunter by surprise, but Hirofumi thinks he might just manage it.
Really, who’d look at possible gruesome murder and go, i know what can solve this - holding hands! It’s genius. It’s hilarious. It’s going to be a huge pain in the ass.
At least Denji’s okay to spend time with. Decent to look at. There’s worse people to be stuck with.
…Alright. Time for Biology-1. He can worry about Kishibe-sensei firing him for this later. Or worse, approving.