Chapter Text
It was the warmest day in the long, dreary winter. It could've been at most just one degree higher, and it still mattered. Cars sped down the road, honking occasionally, filling the street with noise. The clatter of bus engines followed, with a few using their squeaky brakes to pick up waiting passengers. Many people walked and crossed one another—some walking with more haste, making use of the milder weather. Tracy listened to the faint laughter she heard for just mere seconds, but it lingered in her mind for a bit longer. She wanted to know what brought the laughter, wishing she were that person.
"Tracy, is this nice?"
Tracy redirected her focus on Cam, who was holding up a colourful knitted sweater that looked thrifted even if its tag stated "NEWLY HAND-CRAFTED." Her eyes crinkled as she examined it. “Ummm. Well. It's—"
Cam held the sweater closer to her chest, aligning one of the sleeves with her arm. "I think it's rather fitting; could spruce up my wardrobe a bit."
Tracy looked at the garment further, recalling the eight other shirts in Cam's wardrobe that looked just like it. "Maybe you should find something else," she suggested, grabbing the hanger and hanging the sweater back on the rod.
"You haven't even found something for yourself, Tracy." The two begin to walk; Cam wrapped her arm around Tracy's, pulling them closer together. "You know, the whole idea was to get more clothes that will fit you as you grow. And then, of course, to see Carly." She shot a knowing look at Tracy, who was still staring straight ahead. "Don't tell me you are still manifesting that you'll have a cryptic pregnancy. I believe the first symptom is being unaware of it, and the second is that you were just complaining yesterday about not fitting into your favorite pair of jeans." Tracy shook her head, a slight smile fading away quickly. Cam leaned closer, and she said, almost like a whisper, "What's wrong, love?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"No, there is a problem. Remember I've always said there won't be a solution until you let out the problem?" Tracy nodded, turning her head away to flick her hair to the side. Cam stopped between a rack, hiding them from the bustling street. "Now," she gently tuckedTracy's hair behind her ear, turning Tracy's eyes to meet her, "what is it so we can solve it?" Tracy still couldn't say. Cam looked her into the eyes, an undeniable weakness for Tracy. "Let me think...is it Si? Or, Carly? Are you scared, darling?" Cam so softly cupped Tracy's face in her hands.
Tracy shook her head and said, "No. Maybe...but it's not that" and pushed her lips in to swallow whatever words she had left.
"What is it then?" Cam studied Tracy's face for an answer. "I know Mike's coming to visit soon." Cam saw Tracy's eyebrows flutter. "Is it Mike? It is, isn't it?"
Tracy let out a sigh and felt Cam's hand reach for her.
"When is he coming?"
"Next week," Tracy said flatly. There was silence. Cam was fidgeting with Tracy's cold fingers. Tracy scanned the passerby, trying not to catch hay fever. She looked down, then after a while, looked back up to Cam. "Oh Cam,...what am I supposed to say to him," she voiced softly, her tone broken.
"You tell him the truth. And you of all people should know that Mike takes the truth well."
"But he expected so much from me."
"You believe I don't? And I still do. Tracy," Cam cradled her face again. "This is not a setback. You still have so much more of your life to achieve. Right?" Tracy nodded her head continuously, blinking to stop her tears. Cam began to dap at her eyes. "Right, you are going to make it. No matter if I have to sell a million books to support you and this baby."
Tracy broke out into a little laugh before sniffing. "Thank you, Cam."
"I mean it. Fix yourself up before we head in. I wouldn't want you to look tense in front of Carly." With the help of Cam, Tracy wiped her running mascara away. Some of it stained the cuffs of Cam's jacket, but she continued to smear away the black marks on Tracy's face. She linked back to Tracy's hand, kissed it, and they both stepped into the cafe.
Carly, in a long pink trench coat, sat with her mutton-covered hands on her crossed legs. Her purse hung on the back of the chair as she tapped at her buttons on her phone. The chime of the bell hanging above the door caught her attention. "I thought you two weren't coming for the half hour I sat here."
"Apologies! We took the longer route to dodge traffic," Cam replied, taking a chair at the table.
Carly adjusted herself over to make room and said, "No need to fib. I'm sure you are always on your time, considering being a writer and all."
"Well, I'm sure you're the same way, considering you are a neglectful mother and all," Tracy said, imitating Carly's tone.
"When will you stop with the insults?"
"When you do first."
Cam put her hands in front, "Okay, enough. Carly, we’re truly sorry for being late. We hope that doesn't ruin our outing, if anything else." Cam looked over at Tracy with an authoritative stare at the last statement.
"Well, we still have some time. But I do want to know what this is about."
Tracy and Cam exchanged glances. If it weren't cold outside, Tracy would've been drenched with sweat. Cam chimed in quickly, "I'm rather starved. Haven't had breakfast this morning. Have you gotten the chance to look over the menu here?"
Carly recommended a few things for the three to try. When their tea and food arrived, they engaged in small talk. Tracy knew it wouldn't last forever; It wasn't until the tea went cold that she finally initiated the conversation. She popped a sugar cube in her mouth, just for extra willpower, and said she'd speak once it dissolved.
"Carly," she said, swallowing the last particle."I wanted to talk to you about something..."
Carly replied, "Yes? It must be quite big news."
Tracy glanced at Cam. In that moment, Cam saw the curly-headed, cherry-faced girl she had longed to adopt, sinking into a chair. She recalled the many school visits prompted by Tracy's behavior, but she never made Tracy feel like a burden. Now, after ten years, she had to do it again. She nodded her head in assurance, and with a blink of an eye, small Tracy was gone.
"I'm..." she let out some air, "I'm going to have a baby."
Carly shot up her seat, causing the table to shake violently, "What?! When? For- for how long?" For the first time in nearly a lifetime, Tracy had Carly flustered.
"Almost three months."
"Three months?!" Carly's voice heightened. "Three months and-and you're telling me this NOW?! In a TEA SHOP?!" The cafe went silent as people turned their heads at the scene. "And you knew about this?!" She said, pointing to Cam.
"Well, yes, I—"
Carly interrupted, "Who's the father? Si?!"
"Of course it's Si, Carly, who else would it be?"
"Oh, I don't know, a prince, schoolteacher, that bloke," she pointed at a random man sitting across the way, whose eyes nearly popped out of his head, "anyone else for heaven’s sakes!"
“Do not shame Tracy! You don’t have the best taste in men either,” Cam said. Both Carly and Tracy were taken aback. It was an insult mainly aimed at Carly, but Tracy didn’t expect Cam to consider Si as a “bad-tasting” man. Then again, Cam had been against her and Si moving in together when the decision came up.
“W-Well yours is more lacking. And should I say you don’t have taste in men at all!” Carly retorted.
“What’s wrong with that?” blurted Cam.
Carly fell silent. She took a napkin from her purse, wiping her eyes. “I can’t believe this.” Tracy looked down at her fidgeting fingers while Cam caressed her back. Carly began sniffling, “You’re going to have a baby, and I was the last person you told.” Cam and Tracy both lifted their heads slowly.
“You’re upset about that?” Tracy said.
“For heaven’s sake, Tracy, of course I’m upset, that’s my grandchild!” Carly said back, scrubbing the tissue across her nose.
“It wasn’t meant like that. Plus you aren’t—”
“I missed so much already. I could’ve been there for her first ultrasound, heartbeat, or movement.”
“I wasn’t even there for any of those,” Cam muttered under her breath, trying to stifle a laugh clogged in her throat.
“It’s not funny, Camila Lawson!” Carly desperately held Tracy’s hands on the table. “Tracy,” she said with furrowed eyebrows, “Promise you won’t let me miss any more of her milestones.”
Tracy moved back, unconsciously snatching her hands away from Carly, “Wait, you keep saying ‘her.’ You don’t even know what it is.”
“Oh, so it’s a boy then?”
“No! I don’t know!”
Cam placed her hand on Tracy’s arm, “Wait, Tracy. Carly, does this mean you want to be involved in this child’s life?” Carly drew out a dramatic “yes.” Cam gracefully joined Carly’s hand with Tracy’s, “For us to do this the right way, we need to help with no harsh judgement, and, Tracy, ask for help without expecting harsh judgement. Now, I believe there is still a lot of resentment between you two. That has to stop, and it can if you really try.”
Tracy bit her lip, “So, you don’t think it’s daft that I’m keeping the baby?”
“No, I truly think the father is daft, but I would never want you to get rid of your baby, my grandchild.”
“Mine too,” exclaimed Cam.
“Right,” Carly said, forcing a smile at Cam. “You know, Tracy,” Carly drew in, “I was around your age when I had you.” She smirked.
Tracy nodded, “I know.”
“I may have had a few…slip-ups, but I still loved you deeply. And no matter your age, you will love her as deep as the core of this earth as well.”
“The baby,” Tracy reiterated.
“Yes, the baby. Whatever sex the baby may be.” Tracy began to chuckle, and Carly soon followed.
The sun drew down, and the wind blew harder as noon slipped away. Tracy closed Cam’s car door and began walking with her to her flat. “What about how we chose somewhere private so she wouldn’t kick up a fuss, but still did?” Tracy and Cam scuffled loudly, arm to arm.
“I’m sure everyone thought she was mad!” They laughed some more.
“What about that bloke in the corner who got dragged into it?! He nearly wet himself!”
“Right, never take her out if you have shocking news. You weren’t wrong thinking she was an actress when you were little.”
“Oh, Cam, I don’t know now. I think that was a bit of an overreaction. I do know that I am going to be the one who nearly wets myself like that bloke if we don’t get up these stairs soon.”
“Tracy?” came a man’s voice in the distance. Tracy and Cam turned to see Mike getting out of his car. “Tracy!” the man called, waving his arms around in excitement.