Chapter Text
"Jungkook-ah, come here quick!"
Jin’s voice boomed through the house and Jungkook jerked up in surprise, his pen flying out of his hands and rolling under the fridge. He scraped the chair back and got on his knees, trying to check–and of course, it had rolled all the way in the back, where Jungkook couldn’t reach. Of course.
Fucking Jin, that was his good pen! He got up in a huff, wiping his hands on his pants, abandoning his math homework and stomping over to the front door, ready to smack his brother.
He didn’t get to do it as often with Jin away at university most of the time, and it was messing with his personal equilibrium. Time to restore balance.
"What the fuck, hyung, you scared the shit—oh."
Jin was not alone. In fact, not only he wasn’t alone, but he was with the prettiest boy Jungkook had ever seen. His voice died in his throat instantly, and he felt the urge to flatten himself to the wall, hands fidgeting immediately.
This must be—
"Jimin-ah," Jin said with a bright smile and his hands on the boy’s shoulders, "let me introduce you to my brother! Jungkook-ah, I’ve told you all about Jimin. He’ll be staying over this weekend, isn’t that great?"
"Yeah," Jungkook managed to get out as he stepped forward towards them. Jimin was hanging his jacket next to Jin’s on the hooks by the door. He turned his head towards Jungkook and gave him a little smile, and Jungkook got his first proper look.
Honey blond hair falling over his eyes, nose flushed a little red from the cold…he was an angel.
"Wow," Jungkook muttered under his breath.
"Sorry?’ Jimin asked, frowning a little.
Jungkook’s eyes widened as he realised what he said. "How—how are you, I said," he muttered. ‘Did you have a good trip? Hyung always complains of, um, traffic and stuff, so–"
"I took the train," Jimin said, cutting him off. Jungkook was both grateful and mortified.
"No traffic then," he muttered. Damn it, that was a joke. Why couldn’t he make it sound like one?
"No…" Jimin said, trailing off, confused, looking at Jin like he didn’t know what to make of Jungkook.
Great. He must be wondering why his best friend didn’t tell him his only brother was a total fucking idiot.
"So, where’s mom, baby brother?" He ruffled Jungkook’s hair and Jungkook stepped out of his reach, annoyance clouding his features instantly. Isn’t it enough to embarrass himself, Jin has to contribute too? He never called him baby brother anymore, why now?
He tried to flatten his hair again blindly. "Grocery shopping." He pulled his sweater sleeves over his hands, crossing them across his chest. "Wanted to cook something special for, um..." He waved his hand vaguely in Jimin’s direction, unable to meet his eyes.
"Jimin," Jimin offered, after a second.
"I know!" Jungkook was quick to reassure. "I know your name, Jimin-ssi, I’m sorry. Hyung talks about you all the time."
Jimin didn’t look very convinced, but he nodded with a tight smile and turned to Jin, his voice softening immediately. "I hope you told your mother she didn’t need to make anything special for me, hyung. I don’t want to be an imposition, I didn’t even plan to—"
Jin shushes Jimin and puts an arm around his shoulders, leading him away. "None of that, Jimin-ah. My mother would be offended to hear you’d think I’d be forcing her into being hospitable—"
Their voices faced it as they walked away and just like that, Jungkook was dismissed.
✨
Dinner was the most tense hour of Jungkook’s life. Every time Jimin’s pretty brown eyes landed on him, he felt his stomach tighten, a little jolt going through him. He was squeezing his glass so hard he was imagining it breaking in his hand and bleeding all over mom’s kimchi. That might be the only way this encounter could get any more embarrassing.
He didn’t talk much, but he listened. He knew a bit about Jimin already, just because of how much Jin talked about him. He knew Jimin was a few years younger than Jin, just two years older than Jungkook; the story about how Jimin moved into the empty room in Jin’s apartment, he’d heard about that too.
Some of it was new to him, like the gentle sound of Jimin’s voice as he said how desperate he’d been for a place to stay, how lucky he’d gotten with Jin.
He complimented their mom’s cooking, earning himself a sweet smile. He laughed at their dad’s jokes (another new thing: Jimin had the cutest laugh in the whole world), and he teased Jin like they’d been friends for years.
He ignored Jungkook pretty much completely. It stung a little, but Jungkook couldn't really blame him. That's how it usually went.
"You know, Jimin-ah, our Jungkookie also wants to try out for your university," his mother said with pride, pointing at him with her chopsticks, redirecting the attention of the entire table to Jungkook, who had just stuffed way too big a bite of rice into his mouth.
"Is that so?" Jimin said, politely. Jungkook flushed pink as Jimin’s eyes found his, and willed himself not to choke on the stupid rice. He nodded, bite going down successfully.
"Wouldn’t that be nice, if he had you both to take care of him?"
Jungkook winced inwardly. His whole family was out to embarrass him today. Couldn't his mom see how little Jimin cared about all this? It was crystal clear to Jungkook. He felt the urge to lean in and apologise on his mom's behalf.
Jimin smiled a frozen, disinterested little smile. Yep, Jungkook knew it. "We would do our best, of course," he said, dutifully.
He didn’t look at Jungkook the rest of the meal.
✨
The next morning, Jungkook woke up determined.
It had taken him a while to fall asleep the previous night, thoughts flying to Jimin sleeping right on the other side of the wall. Not in a creepy way, just...he seemed really nice. Of course, he'd probably have been even nicer if Jungkook had managed to be normal, instead of acting like the very picture of a dork little brother.
And it's not like he wasn't a dork. But he was also very, very stubborn.
Jimin didn’t seem to like him very much. That was fine. Jungkook didn’t make the best first impression. So what?
Jin would never be friends with someone rude and mean. He might give Jungkook shit every moment of his life, but that was just brother stuff—Jungkook trusted him, and he wanted Jin’s friends to be his friends, too.
The fact that Jimin was the prettiest person Jungkook had ever seen was just…extra motivation.
He got up, jumping in place, boxing with the air. He could overcome this stupid shyness and make himself seem like a nice, normal, well-adjusted boy.
Guy. Well-adjusted guy.
He swung his door open, slapping his cheeks to pump himself up, and found himself face to face with Jimin.
He had just been stepping out of Jin’s room, sleepy, but fully dressed. Jungkook took in his tousled hair and puffy cheeks with utter endearment. He was so cute. How did Jin never mention just how fucking cute Jimin was?
"Um, hey." Jimin seemed to hover, uncertain about how to react to Jungkook.
That snapped Jungkook out of his cuteness-induced trance. "Jimin-ssi! Good morning," he said, with a little bow, regretting it instantly. A bow? A bow?
Jimin looked at him with raised eyebrows, taking him in. Jungkook must have looked a vision in his threadbare T-shirt, shorts and, god, naruto slippers.
Jimin, to his utter mortification, pointed at them. "Those are interesting."
Was he mocking Jungkook? Granted, it’s not every day you see slippers in the shape of Naruto’s head, but.
He should have really changed before he left his room.
"They’re custom made," Jungkook muttered.
Jimin nodded, pursing his lips. God, it’s so awkward. Jimin had to be feeling the crushing awkwardness too, right?
"How old are you, again?"
Jungkook avoided his eyes, arms crossed over his chest. "Eighteen."
"I see," Jimin said. Was that a little smile? Definitely mocking him.
Jungkook nodded, eyes still averted, cheeks burning with embarrassment. He pushed past Jimin quickly to move towards the bathroom, feeling like he was running away.
Before he closed the door behind him, Jimin spoke.
"Hey," he said, and Jungkook froze in response. He peeked back at him through the corner of his eye, not turning fully. "Hyung is fine."
Jungkook nodded, feeling even younger, somehow, before he escaped by closing the door between them.
So much for correcting that first impression.
✨
Sunday evening rolled around to find Jungkook trapped in movie night with Jimin and Seokjin.
He tried to get out of it—he didn't need another embarrassing encounter with Jimin to add to the every growing list—but Jin was adamant. We promised we’d watch this together, Jungkook-ah, he’d said. Since when do we go back on our word in this household? Does our honour mean nothing to you? Do you want me to tell dad you’re betraying the very values—
Jungkook agreed just to shut him up. Sometimes that was the only way to deal with his brother. So, here Jungkook was, huddled in the armchair, legs pulled up, a small pillow in his arms to squeeze to stop from fidgeting too badly.
He had really wanted to see this movie, but it was doomed from the start, because Jimin was sitting on the side of the couch closest to Jungkook.
Jimin was extremely reactive, laughing at the jokes with his whole body and leaning over into Jin as he giggled. He jumped when there were loud crashes, got misty-eyed at the emotional scenes.
Jungkook couldn’t take his eyes off him. He hoped it wasn’t too obvious.
When he shushed Jin’s groan as the couple were about to kiss and took it in with stars in his eyes, Jungkook’s stomach sank.
He turned to his little hug pillow, laying his forehead against it for a moment.
Jungkook was only human, and only gay, and only nursing an embarrassing crush on his brother’s best friend.
Fucking Jin.
✨
He could be calm about this. Okay, he had a crush. It’s not like he never had crushes before.
"Not on real people, you haven’t," Yoongi said.
Jungkook groaned over his caramel macchiato. "Hyung, please."
"I’m just stating facts here, Jungkook-ah. Anime characters do not count. Your english teacher from last year does not count. The girl you met at camp at twelve does not count. This is your first big boy crush," Yoongi announced, shrugging and taking a sip of his americano. He radiated quiet satisfaction at his own argument. Jungkook wanted to stomp on his foot.
"God, that’s so embarrassing," Jungkook said, pressing his cheek on the table and immediately regretting it—it was sticky. Who knows when they last cleaned that?
Yoongi rolled his eyes. "What’s so special about this guy anyway? How do you know he couldn’t like you back?"
Jungkook blinked, trying to rub his cheek clean with as much dignity as possible. "Did you not hear my story?" At Yoongi’s shrug, he continued. "The crushing awkwardness? The ignoring me all weekend long? The slippers?"
"Those were a perfect gift, for his information."
"When you gave them to me and I told you I would run back into a burning building to save them—"
"He wishes he could give a gift like that," Yoongi murmured.
"—I meant it, but some people don’t get that kind of thing, and they just think it’s..." he trails off, picking at a spot on the table with his finger, "lame, or something."
"Why do you even want a guy like that?"
Jungkook huffs. "Because, hyung, I sometimes like to think I’m more than my naruto slippers? Shocking, I know."
Yoongi smirks. "I’m just saying, Jungkook-ah. If he thinks your interests are lame, then—"
Jungkook shakes his head.
After a moment, Yoongi sighs. "So, can I meet this guy somehow?"
Jungkook smiled, hopeful. "Really?"
"If he’s got you all up in a twist like this, then yeah, I want to know what we’re dealing with."
Jungkook was already scrolling through his phone. "Here!" He shoved the phone in Yoongi’s face. "He’s a dancer, and their studio has an event next week. Hyung’s going, and he told me too, because they want as many people as they can—"
"Well, they can count us in."
✨
Jungkook took a breath, fidgeting with his earrings as they sat in the little theatre seats. They were too small for his tall legs, his knees bumping a little awkwardly against the seat in front, but it didn’t matter.
He was a man on a mission.
Mission have your first normal human interaction with Jimin.
He might never have a chance with Jimin, but they could still turn out to be friends. Or at least, he could be something more to Jimin than just his friend’s weird little loser brother.
With Yoongi there, he felt safer, more solid on his feet, and he’d chosen to be here, not been ambushed in his own home and lost his favourite pen in the process.
He could live with being friends. Jungkook had no illusions he deserved to be with someone like Jimin. He was still in high school, for one, drowning in homework and university applications while Jimin did cool things, like perform a solo stage in front of a whole theatre. But friends? That felt attainable.
His heart beat a bit faster in anticipation. He’d get to see him dance. Just the videos from rehearsals on the studio’s instagram page had his jaw on the floor. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like live, with costumes and atmosphere.
"Quit fidgeting, or that good lady’s gonna whack you with her purse."
"Can you blame me? Did they build these seats for babies?"
Yoongi smirked, settling in comfortably. "Serves you right for being so tall."
"Whatever, tiny," Jungkook said, as the lights dimmed. He smacked Yoongi’s hand. "Shut up!"
"I didn’t say—"
"Sssh!"
Jimin was captivating.
Jungkook’s whole body shivered as he saw him on that stage, dancing like the music flowed through him, like it felt as natural as breathing. Other dancers came before and after, but Jimin. Jimin.
Having a normal human interaction with him seemed harder now, suddenly. How could he, when Jimin had gone so far beyond human on that stage?
Focus, Jungkook, he told himself as they waited for Jimin and his friend Hoseok to come out of backstage. Jin, Yoongi and Jimin’s friend Taehyung were making idle chit chat, while Jungkook considered his predicament.
It would be rude to say nothing, right? He performed, so he has to at least say congratulations. But he can’t just say that. He’d have to mention something he liked about the performance, to prove he was really paying attention. He—
"Jimin-ah!"
Jungkook’s head snapped up just in time to see Taehyung leap into Jimin’s arms to hug him tightly. Jimin was still wearing his stage make up, looking delicate and pretty, but he was in jeans and a big shirt, tiny black cross body bag on. His rings were back on, too. Jungkook was glad. He liked his rings.
Jimin received Taehyung’s hug casually, like it was normal for them to leap at each other like this.
"Hey, guys. Thank you all so much for coming." His pretty face was softened in a gentle smile, eyes going over everyone, even Jungkook. His heart pounded at the contact, no matter how brief.
Everyone started throwing compliments around then, and Jimin preened under the praise. Hoseok received his fair share too, but Jimin...Jungkook needed to let him know how good he had been.
He just needed to say congratulations, at least, but he was stuck. His mouth wouldn’t open. It felt like his whole body had seized up, somehow.
Disappointment and frustration flowed through him. Just open your mouth and say something, anything, even just a well done, or nice show, anything is better than nothing—
But then Hoseok’s stomach growled loudly, and the moment was over. Everyone started talking about where to go eat, and once everything was decided, started walking, falling easily into step with each other.
All except for Jungkook, who spent the whole way there beating himself up.
Jungkook was still tongue-tied and solemn in the middle of all their loud, laughing conversation. He stuck out like a sore thumb, he felt like everyone could tell. It seemed like since he hadn’t been able to say congratulations, he couldn’t get any other words out, either.
"You alright there?" Jimin’s voice broke him out of his spiral. Jungkook looked up at him with wide eyes. "Were we so boring we put you in a catatonic state?"
Jungkook flushed with panic. He couldn’t let Jimin think something like that. Being addressed directly rattled something in him and he found himself able to talk again."No, no! It’s—you were—"
"Ah, Jimin-ah, don’t mind him!" Jin said from next to him, putting an arm around Jungkook. "Modern dance isn’t his type of deal, is it, Jungkook-ah?"
"Well, no, not normally—but, you were—"
"Why’d you come then?"
Now Jungkook just felt terrible. "Hyung told me about it, and I wanted to—"
"Yah, Jungkook-ah, like I dragged you here!"
"Hyung, when you said you’d get people to come to our performance whatever it took, I didn’t think you’d drag them kicking and screaming," Jimin said, laughing.
The laughter rang so awful in Jungkook’s ears.
"It must have been really boring for you, huh?" Jimin looked at Jungkook again, and Jungkook wanted to scream. "You were squirming in your seat the whole time, I could see you from backstage whenever I looked at the audience."
The rest of the restaurant might as well have fallen away then, as far as Jungkook was concerned. Why couldn’t he just talk?
He wanted everyone’s eyes off him right now. He wanted to take Jimin’s hand and squeeze, tell him…god, anything . Any tiny compliment. Any full, sure-sounding sentence.
Anything, something, come on, just say something—
"It’s…it’s not like that," he managed, so quietly, fingers tight around his useless chopsticks. He’d never finish this food now. His stomach was in knots.
Yoongi’s hand came on his knee, squeezing it. He didn't even look at Jungkook, eating his meal like he wasn't even listening to the conversation. Jungkook took a breath.
"I thought you were incredible." A little louder now, but still soft. He couldn’t have spoken louder if he had tried. "Jimin-hyung, I—I’ve never seen anyone move like you do, and I thought it—it looked like magic." He felt breathless, winded.
Jimin was looking back at him, considering, like he didn’t quite believe him, like he thought Jungkook was just saying it to get him off his back.
No pretty blush or coy smiles for Jungkook like there had been for the others’ nice words. He could see Jungkook’s flushed cheeks, his trembling hands, couldn’t he? It made Jungkook want to bolt, feeling like he’d laid his heart out all over the table.
Why had he said magic? Wasn't that too much? God, he made it worse. He made it worse with his stuttering and his clumsy compliments, and now everyone would know how he felt about Jimin, and Jimin and Hoseok and their dancers friends would laugh at him—
"Thanks," Jimin said, finally. Jungkook couldn’t tell if he believed him.
Jungkook wanted to say more, to convince him, but he’d already gone back to the conversation he’d been having before, nudged back into it by Hoseok. It’s not like Jungkook was doing well with words tonight, anyway.
He breathed out shakily. Yoongi squeezed his knee one more time. Jungkook looked at him with pleading eyes.
Five minutes and a quick excuse later, they were out the door. Jungkook let his hyung sling an arm over his shoulders and press him to his side as they made their way back to the car.
"So, mission report?" Yoongi said, as they sat down and put their seatbelts on.
Jungkook let his head fall back onto the seat. "Failed."
"It wasn’t that bad, Kook."
Jungkook laughed, feeling tears prickling at the back of his eyes. "Were you at a different table?"
"He just misunderstood you, and you corrected him. They were just joking around, anyway."
"Hyung, I—" he groaned in frustration, pressing his palms against his eyes. "I just wanted one normal conversation. One. I know he’s never going to like me, okay, it’s like, why would he? I can barely string two words together in a table filled with nice people, people that I know, even, and he just performed in front of a whole theatre! It took me two hours earlier to choose an outfit just so I could come be silent and weird the whole time. Freaking out over the simplest fucking things." He scoffed. "Classic, huh."
He let his eyes drop closed, but his body was alert, leg bouncing up and down.
Yoongi wordlessly reached out and took Jungkook’s hand in his. Jungkook clung back, letting the tight squeeze of their hands distract him from the ugly swirl of feelings inside his chest.
At least he hadn’t cried in front of them, he thought, as a tear slipped out now, quiet and pathetic.