Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“The naked youth lay where he had fallen, face up on the table, his lips slightly parted. I gave those lips a lingering kiss.”

‘Confessions of a Mask’, Yukio Mishima  

-1-

For one last time, Hongjoong made sure everything was in order for his session. He fixed the angle of his camera and the cheap tripod he bought two weeks after starting with this. It gave a good picture of his bed, where Hongjoong usually did everything. However, he always cleaned the place from everything that could give a clue to someone that this place was, in fact, Hongjoong’s room. Not as if he was expecting someone who actually knew him in real life to find him on the website. Iit wouldn’t just be horrible and traumatic but he was also sure his whole life would end up on the spot. For that reason, he could never be careful enough. 

Taking a deep breath, he checked the hour on his cellphone. 

Still ten minutes to go. 

Tonight the apartment was nothing but for himself. Seonghwa was stuck with a night shift for at least three more hours, for what Hongjoong remembered, but even with that he had made sure of locking the door to his bedroom just as a precaution. 

Another horrible scenario would be Seonghwa entering while Hongjoong was in the middle of his session.  

Carefully and looking at himself in his video, Hongjoong sat on top of the bed and fixed his clothes. At least, he needed to be appealing. He couldn't be sure he looked pretty right now. After all, Hongjoong was more on the average side of beauty. Yet, at least he was aiming for something close to ‘sexy’ so he could gain more money. The set for tonight was a first use for him: a blue skirt matching a black crop top. When he had looked at himself in the mirror, after trying it for the first time, Hongjoong had thought that, at the minimum, it made his butt look good. 

Of course, now he was not wearing anything below. 

It was easier and faster like that. 

Considering Hongjoong didn't have enough time tonight, he will go straight to the point. Beside that, there was nothing extra, such as accessories or sex toys, just his old hand to make something good. 

It was for the better, Hongjoong didn't have the free choice to make a whole mess in the place and tomorrow he needed to wake up early to go to classes. 

After this, he thought to himself, he was going to take a shower, eat something and go to bed. 

As the last detail, Hongjoong held his black mask and put it on. The fabric made its job of covering half of his face, just showing his mouth and chin. It gave off the old-kind of vibe and Hongjoong had got it in a second-hand store by accident. When he got it, he never found a justification for having it but then it was the last piece of thing he needed to commit himself to his new job. 

He tried to keep himself composed, but Hongjoong can feel the usual nerves appearing. 

Another breath. 

He smiled and pressed the ‘live’ button. 

Just like that, Hongjoong could see how the chat was starting to get alive with messages of “this user has joined the session” . Without erasing the smile from his face, Hongjoong tilted his face and read the comments from his subscribers. 

If in his first year Hongjoong had been told he was going to become a camboy, he would have laughed and probably gotten mad at the idea. Just thinking about it gave him the shivers. 

However, two years later he was doing exactly that. 

It wasn't an easy decision. After all, Hongjoong was a shy person and had a difficult time approaching others, but the need for money was stronger than his shyness. Although he was with a scholarship, he still needed to pay for half of the rent, groceries and whatever expenses he could get. His parents sent him money, but Hongjoong felt terrible knowing about it. 

He tried finding a normal job and got the experience for two months, yet it was a challenge to balance his classes with working. Not only that, studying became more difficult and his grades started to get lower. Under such pressure, Hongjoong didn't have any other option but to quit. 

The option appeared because a video popped up when he was losing his time on YouTube. 

A girl was sharing her experience with it. She had an OnlyFans, something Hongjoong knew was really popular nowadays, and said it was difficult at first because you didn't gain a lot of money. Yet, she commented, if you worked hard you could make a lot of it and to prove it she showed all the luxury bags she owned, her clothes, and commented she could travel without a problem. Looking at that parade of richness, Hongjoong felt as if the idea of showing his body was not atrocious; then reality came to make him reconsider and he knew it was impossible. Still, as a siren song, the girl kept talking and Hongjoong stayed there until the end of the video where the girl commented what was the secret formula to gain popularity. 

It seemed as if it was important to sell something, for example, going for the sexy appeal or cute appeal, and stick to that. Also, creating a community. To do that you could create a Twitter account to sell pictures, in that way people will get to know you faster. Additionally, having a schedule; if you were to be online it was important to pick a day and hour. 

With time, your fans will expect you. 

At that moment, Hongjoong had closed the video and tried to forget it. 

Him? A camboy? Impossible. Hongjoong couldn't imagine himself showing his body and doing something in front of people. Less anything sexual. It was dangerous and it made him feel uncomfortable. He jerked off and masturbated, but he had never been with another person. So, no, there was no possibility for him. 

But here he was. 

“Hello, everyone,” he greeted with a smile. The comments kept on appearing. Knowing a lot of his viewers liked his voice, Hongjoong made sure to talk as gently and softly as he could. “I hope you’re enjoying your night. I’m so glad you’re here with me. I feel important! After all, you could be anywhere but you decided to be here… Ah, what should I do? Should I reward you?” 

‘Hello’ 

‘Goddamn, you look so sexy’

‘Show us your cock, slut’

‘ I was waiting for you, kitten. You’re the happiness of my week’ 

“Ah, you’re really too good to me. And this? This is a new set I prepared for you all, do you like it?” Hongjoong sat better on bed, trying to show his body. His abdomen was uncovered because of the crop top. He giggled when he almost lost his balance. “Uf, careful there, I’m sorry. I was so excited to show you how pretty I look that I almost fell down! I’m quite clumsy.” 

Hongjoong checked and waited for more viewers to come. 

The first time he went on live, it was awkward and uncomfortable. Hongjoong didn't plan ahead, beside not showing his face and being careful about showing his surroundings, the only tool he had was the cam of his computer and sometimes it didn't work well. He still remembered how sweaty he had ended, not out of horniness but because he was anxious about fucking everything up. Of course, although not a lot he still got some viewers. 

Hongjoong was sure he would never try again because he had made a fool of himself; not knowing what to say, what to do, and not being able to get properly horny. 

Strangely, some people liked his clumsiness.

They sent him messages saying he was cute and adorable, how they loved watching him, and they hoped to see him again. Some people were dirtier, of course, saying that they would love to be the one showing him what to do and that they would love to fuck his mouth, make him cry, and fuck his hole. 

Surely, with such a response Hongjoong decided to try again. 

And then again. 

And without knowing, he actually built a community and loyal fans. Now with his effort, Hongjoong was able to pay for the rent without a problem and get some extras such as going out to eat with his friends, buying new clothes, and he was actually able to change his computer to a better one thanks to being a camboy. Additionally, some viewers gave him things. Some of them were the ones Hongjoong himself had in his wish lists and others just because they wanted him to use them. For sure, on some occasions Hongjoong had received horrible toys he never touched again but in most cases, it was pretty normal. 

Of course, Hongjoong would never give his real address. He had another place where they could send all of that. 

Some viewers were constant enough for Hongjoong to recognize them. 

He’s here again, Hongjoong thought, as always he’s on time. 

It was the username he was used to seeing more and the one that gave him the most money. At first, it was surprising and quite uncomfortable; Hongjoong didn't know someone had the amount of money necessary to spend like that on something as mundane as a camboy. Shit, sometimes when he received the tips Hongjoong needed a moment to consider that this person was giving him an amount worth of a week of payment in a normal job. And not only that, every so often he bought him gifs such as sex toys, set of lingerie or clothes Hongjoong wanted to use. They were always with a note telling him to enjoy them and that he couldn't wait to see him using them. 

Of course, at first it had been weird for Hongjoong to accept such attention. Especially if he stopped to think that strangers out there paid him to actually fuck himself with sex toys and wear cute clothes. But now it was normal. 

‘jg_wccy00’ was the user. 

Hongjoong’s best client. 

For his comments and messages he knew it was a his . He had been present one month after Hongjoong started doing this and with the interactions they had, Hongjoong had a better idea of his likings and preferences. This person had even paid for each one of Hongjoong’s private pics and gave him more money for others where he requested Hongjoong to do certain things such as showing his ass with a plug, pose when only wearing a skirt and wear pretty dresses. 

Not the most weird thing that could happen to Hongjoong. 

Thankfully, this fan respected Hongjoong’s boundaries of no-face showing.

“Hi again to the ones who are just arriving,” he spoke sweetly, trying to find a better position to read the comments more comfortably. 

The viewers were increasing. 

Once again, the chat was full of messages of all kinds. Some of them were already telling him to show his cock, fuck himself with a dragon dildo or to do something nasty. Those comments were usual and normal, at first Hongjoong had been embarrassed and shocked by them but now he didn't bat an eye.

However, he wrote him: 

‘Hello there, baby boy. You look very pretty with that skirt and crop top. Just like a pretty doll, it makes your collarbones and neck look delicious.’ 

Under such sweet words and praise, Hongjoong felt himself blushing. He thanked in a shy whisper, not being able to look at the cam and focusing his eyes on the keyboard. 

He licked his lips and pressed himself to look up again. 

“Thank you all for being here today. I know that maybe this session will not be as exciting as others, but I have things prepared for you so,” Hongjoong giggled, “please, enjoy.” 

Now the messages were commands, people requesting Hongjoong to do different things and some of them were dirtier than the rest. With the experience he had today it was easier to read them without wishing to hide himself below the covers of his bed. Such words didn’t have more of an impact on him and maybe this was because, deep inside, he was nothing but a ‘dirty slut’ as some of them enjoyed calling him. 

It could be. 

jg_wccy00 wrote again: ‘I’m sure you will be a good boy, baby. Aren't you? The best boy out there. How lucky to have you. Showing your pretty body for everyone to see. You would do whatever I asked for, right? I want to caress your legs and kiss between your thighs, that mole I know you have there, baby. Remember? The one when you send me those beautiful pictures of you playing with the dildo I got you.” 

Oh-

Hongjoong could feel a warm feeling inside his belly and a ticklish sensation on his balls. 

This was different. 

He didn't know his expression had changed, but it seemed as his fan knew exactly what happened to him: 

‘Are you shy now? Little cute kitten. You shouldn't be shy with daddy. Daddy has already seen each part of you, doll. And now I’ll just see what’s mine. Why don’t you start by showing your cute, little cock? I’m sure the poor thing wants attention. It’s almost poking from below that thing you call a skirt. It doesn't even cover your pussy enough.’ 

Clearing his throat and as careful as he could, Hongjoong held the edge of his skirt to start lifting it. When his fingers caressed the sensitive skin of his thighs, he almost jumped. He didn't notice how cold his hands were, although his chest and body felt warm. 

His cock was half-hard already and the tip was starting to get wet with his pre-cum. Fuck, he couldn't belive he was starting to get hot by reading such messages but honestly, it was not surprise because it had happened before. Hongjoong was embarrassed to admit it but when this person referred to him with such dirty words, his body answered on its own, as if he didn't have control over it. 

He shivered, his dick exposed to the fresh air of the room. 

Hongjoong looked down, trying to find a comfortable position because he didn't want his legs to get numb this early in the session. It was quite funny how his cock moved with him; the head hitting against his belly. 

He whined and pressed his legs together. 

Now in position and more comfortable than before, the only thing Hongjoong could do was try to keep his skirt out of the way and his breath calm. He had used a lot of money to buy a microphone good enough to catch even the smallest sounds, but Hongjoong was still embarrassed of his own neediness. Actually, his viewers caught on to that detail about him (how surprising was to know that someone could notice things like that) and now they exploded that shyness of him. Once, his viewers have even requested for him to masturbate with his own videos and sounds. 

It had been demeaning enough for Hongjoong to cry while cumming. 

The chat was getting more and more comments, but Hongjoong’s eyes looked for him. 

‘Good boy. Such a pretty cock you have there, wet and messy for me. I wanna taste it, baby. I wanna taste you completely and if I could, I would fuck your tight, little boypussy with my tongue and make you cum again and again. I would allow you to fuck my mouth, just you, but your dick is so tiny that probably it wouldn't even hit the back of my throat. You’re made to be breed, doll. The only thing you are supposed to do is lay there, present yourself, open your legs and take it deep inside because your cock is useless to fuck another person.’ 

Hongjoong whined and closed his eyes, embarrassed. 

The pressure in his belly was more present than before and his cock was starting to hurt, releasing more wetness and almost aching to be touched. Hongjoong’s whole body was on fire; nipples hard against his crop top and making it difficult for him to move around without wanting to grind against his pillow. He was aching to touch his nipples and squeeze his boobs, trying to find the perfect pleasure because Hongjoong was sensitive all around his body. 

Without noticing, he whispered: 

“Daddy-” 

Mortified, he opened his eyes and looked at himself in the video. He bit his lower lip, noticing how in camera he was doing the same and for a brief moment, Hongjoong was aware of the position he was in now. His mind had gone on autopilot and without noticing, he had said a word he had never said before. Of course, Hongjoong had read about it and knew that people enjoyed calling their partners titles like that, but Hongjoong was never able to do it himself on camera. He had imagined and dreamed about it, but never tried it in front of his viewers and knowing he had done it without thinking was weird. 

The chat was going fast, some people asking him to do something more than just showing his body, and for some reason money was arriving quickly. 

Without knowing why, Hongjoong waited for him: 

‘Good boy. Calling for daddy. Come on, doll, touch your cock for daddy. Slowly.’ 

He did. 

Being careful for the skirt to not hide anything important, Hongjoong held his erection in one hand. Feeling clumsy, the only thing he did at first was touch the tip with his thumb. The burning sensation made him squeak. Without waiting to get used to his hand, Hongjoong pumped it up and down, uncovering the head of his cock and shivering at how hot he was starting to feel. His hand was getting wet thanks to his own lubrication, making the movement easier and smoother.

Hongjoong could hear the wet sounds of his cock mixed with his moans and breathing. 

‘That’s it. Good boy. Do it slower. Don’t rush.’ 

He kept the pace slow, as requested, but Hongjoong had to almost force himself to not fuck his hand like he actually wanted. He bit his lip stronger than before and took a deep breath, squeezing the base of his cock and noticing the purple head of it. 

Opening his legs more, Hongjoong positioned his feet on the bed, giving a better view of his clean balls, cock and ass. He could notice how the base of his erection was getting wetter, part of it falling down to his balls and on the crack of his butt. 

It was amazing how wet Hongjoong could get. 

“Daddy… daddy, fuck.” 

‘Good boys don't curse, doll. 

Are you that needy that you curse for daddy’s attention? Don’t do it again. Be a good boy and I’ll reward you.’  

“Sorry, daddy,” Hongjoong whispered, “I won’t curse again. ‘m sorry, didn't want to. It's just… It felt too good.” 

Hongjoong was talking to that viewer only, but he didn't care. It was the first time he felt as if his whole body was on fire and it was all because he was paying extra attention to his comments and commands. It seemed as if the only thing Hongjoong could do was wait for him to decide what he was supposed to do next and if Hongjoong tried hard enough, he could close his eyes and imagine that the hands touching him right now were not his. 

He raised his hips a little, trying to find more friction. 

“Daddy… Can I go faster, please? I want to cum.” 

His hips were moving on his own just because Hongjoong needed more, something strong enough to make him see stars. Now he regretted not having his vibrator closer to use it. It would have been the best to satisfy the burning sensation in his cock because it didn't matter how hard Hongjoong tried, he could never move his hand fast enough for a long period of time because he got too tired or overstimulated. Even when sometimes he wished for something more intense, Hongjoong’s body stopped, not allowing him to go beyond that line. 

‘Play with your nipples, doll. Play with them for me. Don’t stop touching your cock while you do that.’ 

Fuck. 

It seemed as if Hongjoong was not going to have what he wanted. 

Taking a deep breath, Hongjoong followed the instruction and with his free hand moved the crop top to show part of his chest. He went for his left nipple, caressing it with his index finger by making small circles around it. It was difficult to do it and not lose the rhythm of his other hand but he tried his best. He could notice how his nub was starting to respond to his attention and like that, he was sure his cock was getting harder than before. He could feel his hole getting tight around nothing and for a moment Hongjoong tried to think of something filling him. 

“Oh,” he exhaled, “It feels so good, daddy. Baby feels so good-” 

‘Good doll. Now, twist and squeeze your nipples. Harder. Pull at them. Pinch them with your nails until it hurts and you want to stop, but you won’t. You will keep playing with them because you’re a good boy and you follow orders. I want you to play with your nipples and believe me, whatever you do right now it would be nothing in comparison to what I wish to do to you. I would fuck your boobs and get you all sensitive.’ 

He blinked and for a second, he braced himself while trying to understand what was happening. With his doubt, his movements slowed down until stopping and in response, the comments telling him to keep going fell like rain. 

But Hongjoong’s eyes found his: 

‘Don’t make daddy mad, doll. I thought you were daddy’s good boy. Come on, hurt your little nipples. Imagine it’s my mouth on them, sucking and biting. You have such amazing boobs, baby, I bet they are so sweet and tasty. I wonder if milk is going to go out of them. I would drink while pounding deep inside you. I would breed you.’ 

Closing his eyes, Hongjoong moaned. 

He didn’t know the face of this person, but he could picture a mouth sucking his nipples and a tongue tracing circles on his areola. Fuck. Hongjoong, with his eyes still closed and imagining that scenario, wondered if it would feel as good as people commented. He had seen how some people came by only having their boobs sucked and played with. Hongjoong couldn’t say with real knowledge because in reality he had never been with another person. Nobody has ever touched his body further away from some fondle in the middle of uncoordinated make outs. 

He was still a virgin. 

Biting his lower lip, Hongjoong pulled at his nipple harder than before. His whole body shivered under the attention and his back arched automatically, trying to appease part of the pain. However, Hongjoong didn't stop. Without letting go of the nub and trying not to think too much about it, he twisted. 

It burned. 

His hand stopped. 

“It hurts! It hurts, daddy!” Hongjoong yelled, not caring about the volume of his voice. 

The surprise factor of feeling real pain while pleasuring himself made him stop, thinking about the consequences such as someone listening to him from other apartments. 

‘Ow, baby’s boobs hurt? Wouldn't you want daddy to kiss them better? Poor doll, but come on, keep on torturing them. I want your nipples sensitive and puffy. Pull harder. But don’t forget the other and also, keep fucking your hand.’ 

He did it. 

Parting his mouth open and releasing breathy sounds, Hongjoong kept on pulling at his nipple and started pinching it with his nails. He felt the itch and burn feeling, almost making him stop again , but he kept going and went with more energy than before. It was difficult holding himself from stopping everything, but Hongjoong couldn’t stop thinking about that viewer watching him right now and he wondered if he was jerking at the picture of Hongjoong doing something like this. 

Just thinking of that made his body burn more and his hole twitch, almost begging him to fill it with something. 

Without stopping fucking his hand, Hongjoong went to his other nipple and started hard with his pulling and twisting. The movements were nothing but sloppy and uncoordinated, but Hongjoong kept trying to keep his legs parted open and raised his hips to fuck his hand. It was way uncomfortable, so as fast as he could Hongjoong changed positions to kneel down on the bed and show himself to the camera. Like that, fucking his fist became easier and he kept on playing with his nipples, now flicking it in fast movements with his index. 

“Daddy… daddy… it hurts so much, daddy, please-” 

Once he had whispered that, Hongjoong noticed what he was babbling but now he didn’t care. He was sure his face was flushed under his mask and there was a burning feeling on his eyes. 

He felt warm. 

“Daddy, baby feels weird-” 

‘Is my baby aching to cum? A re y ou going to cum from torturing your nipples and fucking your useless hand? My dumb, dumb baby.’ 

“No- no, daddy.” 

‘Are you shy, now?’ 

“Not shy, not shy! I wanna cum, daddy! Baby is going to cum!” 

‘Ask for permission, slut. If you cum without me allowing it I’ll get mad and punish you. Don’t make me fucking hurt you because you’re not going to like it.’ 

Once he read the comment, Hongjoong had to force himself to stop fucking his hand because he knew there was no way he could hold himself from cumming like that. Of course, his dick started to ache and twitch. It felt hot and heavy. Trying to hold himself Hongjoong looked down at it and noticed the purple head. 

Without knowing why, he touched the hole on the tip with his thumb and his legs trembled. 

There was no way in which this viewer could actually touch him, but there was something about the idea of being punished that made his head dizzy with pleasure. Inside his head, his imagination was starting to run wild again and Hongjoong’s skin got covered in goosebumps. 

Images from videos he had seen before, sometimes to gain ideas for his own content, started appearing in his head with him as the protagonist. 

Hongjoong imagined himself being cuffed to the bed, unable to move and helpless to his captor. A big vibrator would be inside his hole at the fastest speed and moving around in circles while a mouth sucked his cock, making him cry because of the overstimulation. There was no way for him to escape all of that and this person wouldn’t care how Hongjoong kept on begging for some mercy, trembling after cuming repeatedly. His hips would rise from the bed, as he was trying to escape from that mouth, but the cuffs on his ankles wouldn’t allow him to close his legs or get further away. The person would laugh at his stupidity. To increase the punishment because of his disrespect, he would place nipples clamps on his boobs and pull at the chain connecting them. 

And, oh fuck, it didn't stop there. 

Another, wildest fantasy appeared and Hongjoong looked at himself chained to a cage or being tortured by a fucking maching, not being able to run away from the pleasure. 

Loudly, he sobbed. 

“I… I can't…” 

‘Don’t you dare stop your hand, slut. I warn you.’ 

‘Now, ask if you want to cum. Beg daddy. Open your mouth, stick your tongue out and beg daddy to cum. Say you’re a dumb little baby and your useless cock is going to cum. Do it.’ 

Oh no, it was so humiliating. 

Hongjoong had never done a face like that. He knew they were popular, but he could never do it. 

For a second there, he hesitated but kept on pumping his hand and pulling at his nipples, however the speed had slowed down. His lower belly was aching, close to exploding and he knew if he didn't get to cum in that moment, he was going to die. 

At the end, the desperation for release was bigger than his pride.

He followed the instructions. 

His face was sweating but Hongjoong parted his mouth open, noticing how much saliva had accumulated there, and looking at himself on the video he stuck  his tongue out. It looked nasty and his lips were redder than when he started the session, even puffier for what he could tell. 

Speaking turned into something difficult: 

“Plw’ dady. I wanna gum. You dum’ lil baby wanna cum!” 

‘Ow, poor and dumb baby. Look at yourself doing what I told you. So desperate for cumming that you do something like this. I want to fuck that dirty mouth of yours and suck on your tongue, baby. Come on, fuck your hand harder and cum. Cum for me. Pull at your nipples. Cum now.’ 

He did it. 

With a yell, Hongjoong came. Fighting himself, he kept pumping his hand to try and extend his orgasm as much as possible. His legs were trembling while his knees were aching; there was sweat running down his back. His whole body felt like falling down on the bed and just staying there. For a moment, his vision went to black and he needed a second to compose himself. Hongjoong moaned loudly and tried to hold his breath. Briefly, he wondered if the noises he was making were horrible. 

Once ready, Hongjoong released his now soft cock and left his nipples alone. 

His hand was dirty with the white stickiness of his cum. 

With sleepy eyes, Hongjoong made an effort. He looked at the chat and the sea of comments, but just as before he was able to find him: 

‘Cover your boobs with your cum, baby, and then lick your hand clean.’ 

As he was under a spell, Hongjoong did it. 

Slowly and making sure the croptop was not in the way, he covered his nipples and chest with the cum. Closing his eyes, he licked his lips and noticed the contrast of the cold and warmth. The feeling was weird and quite uncomfortable, but not horrible. It was more like different. He kept doing it, drawing tiny circles and noticing how in the video his chest was now shiny. 

Finally, Hongjoong guided his hand to his mouth and licked his fingers with the tip of his tongue. The first reaction at the taste was wrinkling his nose. He had never done it and he wasn’t sure he really enjoyed it. 

‘Baby doesn’t like his own taste? Picky eater. I bet you're sweet, doll. I would love to lick the cum out of your chest and fingers right now. I would suck them and also, I would lick all that cum you have between your legs and on your cock. The best taste in the world, I bet.’  

Without stopping wrinkling his nose, Hongjoong shook his head: 

“‘tastes weird.” 

‘My good boy. Poor thing. But lick it all clean, don’t let not even a drop.” 

Wanting to be good, Hongjoong kept on doing it. Deciding it was best to finish faster with that, he made use of the flat part of his tongue while licking his hand clean. One by one, he popped his fingers inside his mouth to make sure there was nothing there. He even tried to take some drops from his chest with his index, but most of it had already dried off on his skin. 

Once he finished, Hongjoong showed his hand to his audience by placing it close to the camera. 

‘Good doll. You did so well, baby.’  

There was no reason for him to smile, but Hongjoong did it anyway and for some reason, his chest felt light. There were butterflies inside his stomach and suddenly, Hongjoong was giggling like an idiot and covering his mouth with his fingers, trying to stop himself from smiling. 

He felt a bubbling feeling of happiness. 

Still smiling, he tilted his head to the side and commented that everything was great, that he was happy, just that. 

“You make me happy,” he commented without erasing the smile. He looked at the comments. “I’m quite sleepy  right now because I had to wake up early, but I really wanted to be with all of you tonight, so I’m happy. You always treat me so well,” he couldn't be sure but when he looked at the camera, he thought about that viewer. In order to gain money, Hongjoong shouldn't show favoritism, but he was thinking about him the most. “And now I’m so relaxed! I’ll sleep so well, after taking a shower, of course. Or should I sleep like this?” 

It was full of comments with yes. 

Hongjoong snorted and shook his head. 

“Maybe next time… And for the next session, I’ll ask you to send me recommendations about what you want to see. I was thinking about some toys! You can tell me what you want to see, okay? But now I think that this is all for today,” he faked a pout, trying to show some sadness. “But I promise I’ll be back on friday for our next session! Tell me your suggestions, alright? Thank you for being here. Bye-bye, take care!” 

The comments were going down fast. 

Hongjoong scrolled down while trying to read most of them and kept on mumbling some goodbyes. His eyes found him before he really noticed: 

‘Have a good week, baby. I’ll wait for you and I’ll send you a gift. You deserve it.’ 

Hongjoong finished the session and the comments stopped, but he kept on looking at the screen for more time. He watched himself and noticed part of his blushed cheeks. 

Oh, well. 

Sighing, Hongjoong sat down on the bed and stretched his legs, noticing they were feeling quite numb. His skirt was a disaster and he knew he would need to do the laundry behind Seonghwa’s back once again. Carefully, feeling how sweaty his face was, he took off his mask and tried to dry himself with the back of his hand. He licked his lips and tasted the saltiness that was there. 

This session had not been the most intense he had, Hongjoong had done crazy things such as fucking himself with a giant dildo (a big mistake because the next day he was uncomfortable the whole day) or allowing his viewers to control a vibrator, but for some reason he felt different than other times. The shame and embarrassment were slowly appearing, just as previous times, but there was another thing growing in his chest. 

He couldn't stop thinking about that person. Hongjoong had done everything he wanted and followed his instructions without a problem. He had done that before, reading comments and answering to them, but this was the first time focusing just on one viewer and he hoped this wouldn't create issues in his community, such as making him lose fans. 

However, it was great. 

It felt amazing. 

Hongjoong was ashamed to answer that he had never felt as great as now, when someone was there commanding him. It was not only about the dirty words but the pictures that kept on appearing in Hongjoong’s mind. There was something about this person, with whom Hongjoong kept on interacting along the year, that made his mind dizzy. That viewer really liked him, or at least, enjoyed his content enough to buy him things and be there for each session. Hongjoong assumed this person jacked off with his photos and videos, because there was no other reason to keep on paying on something like that if you were not going to use it. 

He couldn't stop wondering how many times this man had thought about Hongjoong before being able to send him messages like the ones he used. 

“I wonder if I’ll see it again,” he whispered, taking off his crop top and shivering at the air touching his sweaty back. 

He looked down at his chest; his nipples were really puffy and with one touch, Hongjoong checked that sore too. 

He pouted. 

Some lotion after taking a shower to clean himself off would do the trick. 

“Uh?” 

Feeling a weird feeling on the back of his head, Hongjoong turned around to look at the door, suddenly scared of Seonghwa being there. 

There was nobody. 

The door was still closed and now that Hongjoong remembered, he had locked it for the same reason, because he didn't want someone entering without Hongjoong noticing. 

He was alone in his room but Hongjoong couldn't shake the weird feeling away from his body. Carefully, he looked at the window beside his bed but just as previous times, the curtains were covering them. There was no possibility for a neighbor watching Hongjoong from another apartment. 

Slowly, he moved to sit down at the edge of the bed and stood up, hugging his body. 

Hongjoong smiled, laughing at himself. 

He had the weird feeling of someone observing him, but there was no one there. Of course, he was alone. Checking his phone, Hongjoong noticed he still had twenty minutes before Seonghwa arrived at the apartment. Enough time for him to hide the dirty clothes, put everything in order and take a shower. Actually, Hongjoong decided to start cleaning the room and once finished that, he would go to clean himself. 

He wanted nothing more but change into comfortable clothes, eat something and snuggle on his bed. 

.

Hongjoong was not having the best day today. 

“You’re not on the list,” his teacher said for the second time, after Hongjoong made a dumbfounded sound after hearing the same thing first. The man kept on checking the list of students on the website and shook his head. “Nop, you’re not here, Kim.” 

It couldn't be. 

Hongjoong had been attending that same class for the past three weeks and it was understandable the teacher didn’t remember his name or face yet, after all, Hongjoong was not the type of student who participated if he didn’t have to. Yet, there was no explanation for the situation. 

Holding the strap of his bag, Hongjoong briefly looked to the side and observed the auditorium full of students. He was starting to get self-conscious about standing there at the front, trying to speak with the teacher about the unexpected situation while understanding he was not worried about Hongjoong’s inner breakdown. 

“But that… that cannot be,” Hongjoong whispered and stepped closer, “I signed up for this class and have been attending the previous days-” 

“But I don’t have you here now, Kim,” the teacher stood up and Hongjoong gave one step back, understanding that the conversation for him was over. “I’m sorry, but you can talk about this with the secretary if you want or check your classes and see if you’re not with the other section. I need to start my lecture now.” 

Quickly, Hongjoong looked at his classmates one last time and noticed some of them were whispering. He didn't want to know what they were saying, but he could imagine that they were probably talking about him and his ridiculous situation. 

Feeling his face burning, he quickly made his way to the door and left the auditorium without looking back. The teacher started to talk about the previous class, asking if they had done the reading for today’s lesson and with a bitter feeling inside him, Hongjoong thought that he, in fact, had done the fucking reading and now it seemed as if it had been useless for him. 

He took a deep breath and not knowing what to do but deciding that the worst thing possible would be standing there like an idiot, he walked down the corridor and took out his cellphone. 

Hongjoong’s mind couldn’t understand how he was not in the list for the class. He knew that there was the possibility of changing sections or dropping out of some classes, at least for a period of time after the semester started, but Hongjoong never had the need for that. He had done his best to create a good schedule, virtually fighting the rest of his classmates to be in the lessons he wanted, and now it seemed as if there had been some kind of mistake. 

He took a deep breath, trying to calm down. 

Hongjoong could go and talk with the secretary to understand what had happened. It could be, but he didn't want to walk all the way to his faculty and stand there like an idiot while trying to explain that he didn't appear in the list. In a way, it made him embarrassed just thinking about the situation. 

But…

“Sure,” he mumbled to himself. 

Quickly, he entered the website of the university and looked for his information. Trying to be as fast as possible, Hongjoong searched for his schedule. History of Art was still there and in the same slot as his original one, but now that Hongjoong checked the teacher’s name he noticed he was in the other section. 

“What the…?” 

It was not possible. 

He never changed his section and the reason he took with teacher Lee was because Hongjoong took a course with him in his first year and he really enjoyed the teaching methodology. He was excited about having this course with him. He didn't even know the teacher of the other section. 

He couldn't understand what was happening but for now, Hongjoong didn't have any other option but to attend his class. 

After finding the new classroom Hongjoong had to face the embarrassing situation of entering thirty minutes late, and of course, the teacher was not happy with his interruption but listened to Hongjoong’s explanation. The woman was kind enough to let him pass because it was his first time there with them and Hongjoong thanked her, walking in while trying to find an empty seat. 

He was almost at the end of the room when someone called him. 

“Hey.” Hongjoong looked to his side and caught a boy smiling at him. “You can sit here if you want.” 

There was an empty seat beside him and without thinking twice, Hongjoong went to it. He left his backpack on the floor. Feeling calmer because he was not catching everyone’s attention, he could finally breathe.

“So, you’re new,” the boy beside him whispered, “I had never seen you here before.” 

“Oh, yeah, I… I don't know. I was in a different class,” Hongjoong looked back at him and shrugged, “But well, something happened and now I'm here.” 

“Ah.” 

Looking at the teacher explaining something in the front of the classroom, Hongjoong took out his tablet from his backpack. At least, he thought, he could write down some notes and not lose all the content. He was kind of lost right now, but he hated the idea of losing time. 

He was writing the date when the boy whispered again: 

“I'm Jung Wooyoung, by the way.” 

Blinking, Hongjoong stopped writing and raised his head to look at him. 

Shyly, he grinned. 

The boy- no, Wooyoung was looking at him with a pretty smile on his face. Truthfully, now that he was looking at him with more detail Hongjoong noticed he was handsome. Wooyoung was the owner of the kind of beauty you could find in someone who was an idol or an actor. 

Wooyoung had a sharp jawline and curved, big nose that gave his face a mature look. His hair was black and long. His skin had a healthy appearance so Hongjoong could assume he made sure of taking good care of it. His eyes, however, were kind of enigmatic and heavy. It became nothing but difficult for Hongjoong to look at him without averting his gaze because when he tried to look at him, shyness bloomed. Wooyoung, on the other hand, seemed like the type of person who didn't mind keeping eye contact in the first encounter. 

He also noticed Wooyoung had a mole under his eye. 

It was cute. 

“Oh, sorry, I'm…” Hongjoong whispered and looked down at his tablet. “I'm Kim Hongjoong.” 

“That's a pretty name,” Wooyoung said with a giggle. He tilted his head to look at Hongjoong’s face better. “In which year were you born?” 

Embarrassed, Hongjoong thought Wooyoung seemed like the type of student who didn't care about talking in class. Completely different from himself; Hongjoong was the type of person who would sit quietly and was almost scared to engage in a conversation longer than a ‘Can you pass me my pencil, please?’ because he was terrified of the idea of the teacher calling him out or the class being interrupted because of him. 

Also, Wooyoung was loud. 

He was whispering but it seemed as if his volume for whispering was not the normal one. 

“In 98.” 

“Oh, you’re a year older than me,” Wooyoung commented, “Can I call you hyung, then?” 

Uhm? 

Hongjoong blinked and looked at him for real. 

The smile was still present in Wooyoung’s face and it seemed as if he had never stopped observing Hongjoong. Even under his scrutiny, Wooyoung didn't seem to notice what was the problem with the whole encounter but Hongjoong was having a dilemma inside his mind. This younger boy with whom Hongjoong had never exchanged a word before this class was suddenly asking him if he could call him something as familiar as “hyung”. 

Honestly, Hongjoong wanted to reject him because they weren't friends. 

“Sure.” 

“Cool,” Wooyoung chuckled and looked closer to what Hongjoong was writing, but beside the title and date the whole page was pretty empty. Hongjoong thought the boy was finally going to get the hint and stop talking to him, but it seemed as if he didn't care: “By the way, I really love your clothes. It’s a great style. Looks super good on you, where did you get it?” 

Fuck. 

Hongjoong’s heart started beating faster and shyly, he clenched his fists and looked down at his clothes. He cleaned unexist dust out of his jeans. 

“I…” he whispered and for a moment he thought about lying because Wooyoung seemed like a chaebol. It could be just a prejudice, but the watch he was wearing on his wrist and the model of the IPhone beside his computer gave Hongjoong enough clues to know that, at least, the boy had more money than Hongjoong. “It's second-hand, just… from a store I found when walking around.” 

He was sure Wooyoung was going to laugh, but instead he just hummed. 

“That's nice! I love it. You look super cute on it.” 

Hongjoong could feel the sweat on his chest and the blush on his cheeks. He wanted to cover himself, but the only reaction he had was smiling. 

He couldn’t say that his outfit for the day was the prettiest out there but it was comfortable and cute. As he commented to Wooyoung, he got his jersey from a store he found while walking around the streets without a care in the world and he fell in love at the moment. It was adorable, honestly, white and decorated with black and yellow straps. The black jeans were the same ones he had been wearing the previous day and it combined perfectly. 

The perfect outfit for being the whole day at university. 

“I, uhm, thanks.” 

“So, do you like looking for clothes like that?” 

Hongjoong nodded. 

“Yeah.” He played with the ring on his left thumb and noticed that now he was smiling. He searched for Wooyoung’s eyes but as before, ended up averting his quickly. “I like thrifting. I think… I don’t know, it’s cheaper and you know, fast-fashion is an issue because of exploitation and the environment.” 

He closed his mouth and nodded. Shit, he didn't want to overshare and look like an idiot. He didn't know Wooyoung and in Hongjoong’s experience, once you started commenting about the social and environmental issues people started labeling you as a plague. 

“Oh, I see,” Wooyoung commented with a gentle tone, “You know? I think you’re right. I thought about that before, but never knew where to buy clothes or, well, at the end it’s easier to just go to your usual shops inside the shopping centres. But I would like doing that thrifting you were talking about. Perhaps you could give me some tips on where to find clothes as cute as this one.” 

Hongjoong giggled and moved on his seat. 

“Sure.” 

“Jung, do you mind answering the question I just made?” 

The teacher’s voice made Hongjoong lookup with wide eyes and press his lips closed. He felt like a deer caught in front of a car. At his side, Wooyoung didn't seem worried about being called out. The boy kept on smiling and nodding at what the teacher said and then, as if he didn't have a problem, he answered the question. 

Hongjoong blinked, surprised, but the teacher just shrugged and told him to not talk in class. 

Wooyoung winked at him and chuckled.

Hongjoong looked back at his tablet, now blocked because he didn't touch it, amazed. 

He didn't even know what the teacher had been saying for the past minutes. Wow, Wooyoung looked like a bad student but maybe Hongjoong had a wrong idea about him and he was smart. 

.

After the class, Hongjoong went to speak with the faculty’s secretary but there was nothing they could do. It seemed that, in fact, it was Hongjoong himself the one who changed his section (how? Hongjoong didn't know because he had never done something like that, yet the activity was made from his own account) and there was no way to change him again because there was a limit of times you could do something like that. 

So, Hongjoong didn’t have any other option but to accept what happened. 

He hated it and wanted to cry out in frustration, but he knew there was no point in continuing to fight. The only thing he could do was nod and go away to keep going on with his day. 

Yet, he couldn’t stop thinking about the situation because it didn't make any sense. There was no way Hongjoong himself had changed his class. He didn't even enter his account the day before and after doing his live and cleaning, he went to take a shower and ate dinner with Seonghwa. And after that, he went to bed earlier than usual. 

Nothing more, nothing less. 

“Maybe it was a mistake on the website,” Seonghwa said, “It happens sometimes. I don't know, maybe there was a bug in the system.” 

They were sitting together in the cafeteria and although Hongjoong had paid for the whole lunch, now that he was facing the tray full of rice, sausages, rice cake and soup he didn't feel hungry anymore. 

In front of Hongjoong, Seonghwa looked at him with a concerned expression and called for his attention. 

“Hey, it's not that bad, okay? It's not the end of the world.” 

“Yeah, I know, but…” Yeah, sure. It wasn't the end of the world and Hongjoong assumed that the teacher he knew wasn't bad or horrible, but he was still wondering how the hell something like that happened. “I don't know. I just don't understand.”

“Who understands technology?” Seonghwa giggled and Hongjoong forced a smile, grateful that his friend was trying so hard to cheer him up. “Besides, you told me you talked with someone, right?” 

“Ah, yeah,” Hongjoong nodded, “Jung Wooyoung.” 

Seonghwa whispered an ‘oh’ and giggled again, mumbling something about how little the world was. Dumbfounded, Hongjoong raised one eyebrow and asked him if he knew Wooyoung from somewhere. 

“He’s Yeosang’s friend,” he answered quickly without erasing his smile. “I think they have known each other for a long time or something. He’s a good guy, can be loud but really funny. I haven't talked to him a lot because he’s always busy but the times we have met he has always been chill and nice.” 

“Ah,” Hongjoong nodded. 

Well, loud was something Hongjoong could agree on. 

The whole class the boy had talked to Hongjoong non-stop and sometimes Hongjoong thought about asking him politely to shut up for a second. However, at the end Wooyoung had told him he could give him the notes from the previous lessons, so Hongjoong could catch up and see if there was a difference in the content with his other class. 

Hongjoong had been confused by such a friendly gesture and without knowing what to do, told Wooyoung that he didn't want to bother him.

The boy said it wasn't a bother. 

Then he told him he would see him again. 

And that was that. 

“Well, yeah,” Hongjoong smiled a little, “He was really nice.” 

.

Two weeks passed like that. 

Hongjoong decided to forget about the whole fiasco with his class and just do his best in the new one. It wasn't such a big change, anyways, the teacher was polite and did her job well. Hongjoong enjoyed her way of explaining and she was really nice with Hongjoong, especially when after the lesson he got close to ask specific questions about certain topics of the class. Also, he got used to Wooyoung’s presence. 

It seemed as after that first encounter the boy made sure of always sitting beside Hongjoong. 

At first, Hongjoong was not sure about it because Wooyoung had this habit of talking and it made Hongjoong lose his focus, but after Hongjoong had said that to him and asked in the best way possible to not distract him in the class the younger one had stopped. With a smile he had said: 

“No problem, hyung! I get it!” 

After that, Hongjoong got used to having Wooyoung beside him and Seonghwa was right when he said the boy was funny. 

It was quite endearing, actually. 

When they could, they talked, or it was mostly Wooyoung sharing anecdotes and Hongjoong listening to him. But Wooyoung also asked him things and when he did, Hongjoong noticed he was really respectful and heard him in silence as if Hongjoong was telling the most interesting thing in the world and not just a boring part of his life. 

They weren't friends, but Hongjoong considered him a classmate and they exchanged numbers to talk about studies. 

Hongjoong’s lives went well during that time. Nothing out of the ordinary. He sold more private pics and some videos, and gained enough money for the rent and also, to go out with his friends one night. A simple dinner, but it was worth it. Another night Hongjoong did a session that involved a squirting dildo, something he had never used before but he found quite interesting because it squirted inside him a lube Hongjoong used. 

Of course, his viewers loved the image of Hongjoong’s hole pouring out lube that looked like real cum. 

jg_wccy00 loved it so much that he paid Hongjoong for a private video using it and specifically asked for him to ‘fill himself a lot’. Hongjoong wasn't sure what a lot could mean, but he decided to do his best and there was a moment Hongjoong’s legs were sore after riding the fake dick for thirty whole minutes and a puddle of wetness formed on the floor of his bedroom, but he kept on going. Hongjoong couldn’t know why and he decided he didn’t want to think too much about it, but he kept and kept riding that dildo and filling himself to the point it could be considered disgusting. The dildo was completely soaked and in some moments it slipped out of his hole. When that happened Hongjoong didn't have any other option but to fetch it with his hand and keep it in place. 

The video ended up being forty minutes long and Hongjoong came twice. 

Finally before saying his goodbye, Hongjoong showed his butt to the camera by lowering his chest to the floor and raising his hips. He had parted his buttcheeks with his hands, noticing how much time it took him to get a good grip because of the lube, but then the camera caught a great angle of his stretched hole pouring the lube. 

“Was baby a good boy, daddy?” 

Hongjoong couldn't know what made him say that, but he used that title again when he got close to the camera to stop the video. 

He blew a kiss, giggled at his own feeling of embarrassment after doing that, and said: “Bye-bye, daddy.” 

Hongjoong thought it was a good video, even when as always he couldn't watch it completely because he was too shy and ashamed. 

However, the weird occurrences didn’t stop with the fiasco related to the class. 

.

“What?” 

“I’m gonna move out,” Seonghwa said the same thing as the first time but it seemed like Hongjoong’s brain was not working properly. “I’m… I’m gonna live with Yeosang, I mean! It’s not because I don't wanna be with you anymore but he has been asking me to live together. Actually, he had hinted it in the past but I never answered. Now, he asked directly and…” Seonghwa said. “I think it would be good for us. I’m serious with him.” 

Hongjoong blinked and tried to focus on what was happening, but there was white noise inside his head. Suddenly, he needed to look at the wall of their living room to understand this moment was real. It was actually happening. 

At the other side of the table, Seonghwa shifted and it seemed as if he was wondering if he should try to hold Hongjoong’s hand or let him be. 

The second one was his option. 

“It's not because of you, Hongjoong-ah, I swear.” 

“I…” he blinked and tried to look at his friend. Trying his best, he forced a smile on his face but Hongjoong felt tense and probably it looked more like a grimace. However, he didn't want Seonghwa to have that guilty expression on his face. “I'm just surprised and, I don't know, I… I understand but… how long have you been thinking about this?” 

“He asked me last week,” Seonghwa answered, “and of course I wanted to tell you but I didn't have the opportunity until tonight.” 

Hongjoong nodded, but it felt like a mechanical movement. 

He was starting to panic a bit but he needed to keep his cool. Under the table, he squeezed his bare knee and buried his nails in his skin, hoping the pain could keep him calm. 

It was not the end of the world, but it felt like it. 

“When are you moving?” His voice was a whisper and Hongjoong cringed at how vulnerable he sounded. 

It wasn't like he was an abandoned dog at the side of the road, but it quite felt like it. Honestly, Hongjoong knew he didn't have the right to feel bad about this; Seonghwa and Yeosang had been dating for a while and it was normal for them to want to live together. Hell, Hongjoong couldn't even blame Yeosang for asking Seonghwa about this. He should have congratulated him by having the courage to actually take the next step. Yet, here he was once again being selfish and suffering a mental breakdown. 

Hongjoong had been living with Seonghwa for a while and he was comfortable with that. Seonghwa was not only a great roommate, but also a friend and Hongjoong felt safe having him there with him. Also, there was no way in hell Hongjoong could pay for the whole place on his own. 

If Seonghwa moved out, Hongjoong would be forced to find another person. 

Just the idea of that made him want to throw up. 

“Next week or the week after that, probably.” Seonghwa looked down and gulped. Again, it looked as if he was feeling guilty for his decision and hell, Hongjoong couldn't stand that. He should be happy for his friend and make Seonghwa erase that look right now. “I… I'm not sure yet. Yeosang said he found good places and they are not far away from here! We just need to decide, sign the papers and it would be ready, and-” 

“It's fine, Seonghwa, it's fine. Just…” 

Hongjoong forced the smile but this time he tried to be more natural. 

He couldn't. 

He sniffled and stood up, finding it was too difficult to sit still. Not knowing what more to do, Hongjoong walked around the small space of the open living room and went to the tiny balcony to open the window. It was spring so there was not a lot of heat, but Hongjoong felt like he was suffocating himself inside the crowded space. 

He took a breath and looked back at Seonghwa, who had turned around on his seat to follow him. 

Hongjoong walked back to stand closer to him. 

“I'm surprised and… I'm happy for you, seriously, this is…” Hongjoong coughed. Then, he giggled but it was more of a nervous laugh. “This is a big step and I’m really happy for you and- And I’m sorry. I'm acting like a dickhead, it’s just… I don't know what I'm gonna do.” The statement was said in a sad tone and it seemed as if that was the cue for Seonghwa to stand up and reach him. Suddenly, his hands were on his shoulders, not hugging but holding him. “I cannot pay the whole rent by myself so I need to find another person, and… I cannot think of anybody and I’ll need to post an announcement or something and do interviews. And, god, what happens if it turns out to be a weirdo?” 

“Hey, Hongjoong-ah, hey, look at me,” Seonghwa pulled him closer and bent down for their faces to be inches apart. “Breath, okay. I need you to breathe. I know this sounds stupid and hard, but I need you to breath for me, okay? Let's do it together. Breath in… and now out, come on, again.” 

Hongjoong did. 

He filled his lungs with air and then, exhaled and tried to calm himself. Looking at Seonghwa’s eyes and the concern in them, Hongjoong understood why Yeosang had asked to live with him after all those years of relationship. It was his boyfriend, after all, and the same way Seonghwa was head over heels for Yeosang, the younger boy was totally whipped for him. 

It was normal. 

Ultimately, Seonghwa was not only handsome but also caring and gentle. He was the whole package of boyfriend material and Hongjoong was ashamed to admit that the apartment worked because Seonghwa made sure of cleaning, cooking, doing the laundry and the groceries. Of course, Hongjoong helped as much as he could but he needed to acknowledge he was lazy. He didn't mind having empty bowls of ramen laying around the place if he was not feeling like cleaning them. Seonghwa was not like that. Seonghwa was the type of person who used Sundays to clean the whole place and was so into it that he actually went to the lady at the other side of the hallway to ask for her vacuum. 

Seonghwa was now trying to prevent Hongjoong from suffering a panic attack.

He should be ashamed of keeping this boy for himself only when he had a boyfriend who wanted to be with him too. 

Of course, there were nights when Yeosang stayed there and spent the night with Seonghwa, but Hongjoong knew it was not the same. He tried not to bother them, but he knew there was no way the situation they were living could compare to having your own apartment. 

“I'm fine- ‘m sorry. I'm fine.” Hongjoong tried to count inside his head. It was not the end of the world. This was just a situation and it had a solution. “I'm an idiot for… r-reaction like this when I should be saying how happy I am for you and-” 

“Joong-ah, please, don't worry, okay? Calm down and we can talk about it.” 

It took him ten long minutes to finally calm down and Seonghwa kept by his side the whole time. At the end, they sat together on the floor with their backs resting against the sofa and listening to the noise of the city and the ones coming from the other apartments. 

The topic was touched again. 

“I'm sorry. I'm really happy for you, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong mumbled. “It's just that I started thinking about rent and my mind went into panic mode. I’ll need to find someone new and it was terrifying for a second but… I'm an adult and your friend, so I’m not going to be the one being an obstacle in your relationship.” 

“You don't have to do it alone. I’ll help you.” His friend smiled and patted his knee gently. “And, well, I talked about this with Yeosang because I knew you were going to get worried about the rent. He told me his friend… the one that it's in the same class as you is thinking about moving out and now is searching for a place, so… that's a good option. You know him already and he is nice. What about him? I’m sure he would say yes.” 

Hongjoong bit his lower lip. 

Sharing a place with Wooyoung? No way. 

Hongjoong enjoyed talking with him in class, but he didn't trust him to ask him such a thing. Not only because Wooyoung seemed popular and with enough money to pay for a better place than the rathole where they were living, but also Hongjoong was panicking just thinking about Wooyoung knowing his secret. 

No. 

There was no way Hongjoong could allow that. 

But he knew he still needed to find someone. 

“I…” Hongjoong cleared his throat. “I’ll think about it.” 

.

Closing his eyes, Hongjoong arched his back and opened his mouth, releasing a loud moan that echoed not only inside his room, but probably in the whole apartment. 

His wrist was hurting and his arm was feeling numb, but he took a deep breath and counted to five inside his head to calm himself. His whole body was burning and the sweat was running down his back, but at least Hongjoong didn't have the uncomfortable feeling of the clothes getting stuck to his body. No. This time he was completely naked on top of his bed. 

He couldn't know how much time he had been doing this, but it felt like an eternity. 

“Ah! Ah! It's stretching me!” 

For a moment, Hongjoong planted his feet on the surface but then raised his legs again, trying to show his hole being filled with the anal beds he was trusting in. He had been doing it slowly, just getting used to the smaller one first and after almost fifteen minutes he was finally able to go with the biggest one. To prepare himself, Hongjoong had used tons of lubrication and now he was feeling sticky and wet, but he didn't mind. 

It wasn't as like now he needed to care about being loud or making the place dirty. 

He trusted the beads again until he reached the bottom of the toy. Hongjoong could feel his walls squeezing the silicone toy and with just one movement of his hand, he felt each bead caressing him inside. It was amazing and overwhelming, but because it was a request for a viewer Hongjoong was doing his best to not do a boring job on pleasuring himself. He had never used anal beads before, simplyly because he was quite scared of the bigger one, but now he understood how pleasurable they could be. 

His hand was getting tired, though. 

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Hongjoong whimpered and huffed, keeping the balance of his body to show himself well. “It 's so good. I feel so full and ah- it’s stretching me open and… Oh my god, I can… I c-can feel the other one inside too and it's touching, oh, oh, the smaller one is touching me! The tip- ah!” 

Hongjoong’s body trembled and his hips raised. 

On top of his abdomen, his cock jumped and released more wetness. It made Hongjoong press his whole back on the bed and arch his back, pressing his feet on the mattres while trying to decide if he wanted to keep on fucking his hole or try to play with his cock. The pleasure was making him go crazy and he was losing his resolution by the second. When he started the live show, he said he was going to challenge himself and hold himself from cuming for at least one hour. 

Of course, everyone had agreed about how fantastic the idea was. 

‘Yeah! FUCK YEA! Edge urself’ 

‘Hold urself from coming, slut, and then come until you pass out.’

‘I wanna see you cry because you want to cum, kitten’

‘ONe hour, ha! U like cumming too much. I bet you’re not going to last ten minutes, slave, but I wanna see u try it’ 

‘Play with ur hole now! fuck urself and slap ur cock!’ 

Surely, Hongjoong knew it was not going to be easy and before he started to thrust the toy inside him, he agreed on that part: 

“You know me so well… I know I’m not going to be able to hold it just by myself, but I wanna be a good boy for all of you and do my best. We can play together for longer like that, don’t we? So… I got this too! Do you remember it? I used it once but didn’t like it, so I never touched it again but now I wanted to give it another shoot! Aren't you proud of me?” 

Yeah, everyone was so fucking proud of him. 

Hongjoong secured the cockring on his soft dick and then started his foreplay. He caressed his abdomen, legs and nipples, also the tip of his cock and then fingered himself to stretch his hole enough for the toy. It took him five minutes because he actually prepared himself before doing the session (it helped him save time), but it was great to build the mood with his audience. 

Now he was kind of regretting his choice with the cockring. 

“I can't! I can't! Please, please, oh fuck, please, fuck me-” Hongjoong wailed and tossed on the bed, not stopping the movement of his hand. As if a supernatural force was controlling his body, Hongjoong took the toy out leaving only the smaller bead inside and then thrusted back in with one quick motion. It hit right against his prostate, making him see stars and creating a tension in his abdomen. “Ah! Ah, fuck! I wanna cum! Please, fuck, I wanna cum so bad. I cannot do it. ‘m sorry, I’m sorry! I cannot do it! I wanna cum, please let  me cum!” 

He couldn't see the comments and knew there was nobody there who could actually take the cockring out of him. Hongjoong needed to do it himself. It was the only option he had, but he wanted to keep on pushing himself. He assumed that his viewers were having a blast. 

They enjoyed seeing him suffer and cry. 

“I wanna take it off! I cannot do it! It's stretching me so much and- f-fuck! I wanna cum! My cock hurts!” 

Hongjoong felt the tears on his eyes; mixing with the sweat under his mask. He took a deep breath and tried his best, but his hand was also getting tired. He moved around, enough for him to look at his purple cock that seemed to twitch. The tension in his abdomen was horrible and it was aching even when trying to breathe. Hongjoong felt as if his body was trying to push something out from his cock, but was unable to and the pressure was accumulating by the second. 

“I wanna cum!” He yelled to nobody. To his viewers. 

Laying on bed Hongjoong was alone to decide what to do next, but his hand kept on pumping the toy inside his hole. He made circles with it, stretching it more and touching different places inside himself. It made him go crazy. 

“I w-wanna cum. It hurts so m-much,” Hongjoong sobbed, looking at the ceiling and thrusting his hips up as if he wanted to create friction against his cock with the air. “I wanna cum, please, please let me cum. I wanna cum so bad- i-it hurts so, so much, ah, ah, ah. Ugh, I wanna cum, daddy, please.” 

Hongjoong’s mind was in a trance and the word slipped out of his mouth without knowing. 

Hongjoong was alone but if he closed his eyes he was sure he could imagine someone there with him. The person (him) would just look, probably standing on the corner or sitting on Hongjoong’s desk, just observing his suffering and how Hongjoong tortured himself with a silly, plastic toy and a cockring. He would snort when Hongjoong started begging and shook his head because they made a deal. Hongjoong said he was going to hold his release for one hour. 

An hour has not passed, silly boy. 

“I don't care! I don't care, please, daddy. ‘m sorry, I made a mistake! I cannot do it!” Hongjoong kept on sobbing, hand not stopping and cock close to exploding. “I feel like I'm gonna die if I don’t cum! I-It hurts so, so much! Please fuck me! Oh, oh, pleeeease, just let me cum! Can I take the ring off? I need to take it off, please!” 

If you take it off and cum now, daddy’s going to get mad. You will get punished, doll, and I’ll make it hurt much more than what you’re feeling now. I’ll make you cry for mercy. 

“Please, daddy, jus’ wanna cum!” 

Hongjoong pressed his right cheek on the bed, the mask feeling uncomfortable with the position but he didn't care. He twisted the toy inside his body, imagining it was another person holding it there and making it go deeper and deeper, finding the perfect angle to hit Hongjoong right in the perfect place. The toy went slower, but deeper and stronger, making Hongjoong mewl with each hit inside him. The stupid cockring felt like an evil device that wouldn’t allow Hongjoong to slip away. 

He could imagine a mocking laugh. 

You cry so pretty, doll, I wanna listen to your begs and whimpers some more. Don't cum. You’re not going to take that ring off until I say so. You’ll cum when I say so. 

“I can't! I can't hold it! I cannot do it! Oh, oh, fuck!” Hongjoong opened his eyes to the ceiling of his room. 

Hongjoong’s back arched when he pushed the toy deep inside himself one last time. His toes curled because of the pleasure that felt like an electric shock going from his head to his feet. Hongjoong released a breathless sound, something more animalistic than before, and he could feel his cock burning in the same way his abdomen was doing it. The pressure was pushing against the tip of his hole, oozing something to cum out but not totally. It was an uncomfortable ache that made Hongjoong shudder and whimper, tossing on the bed and finally releasing the toy while allowing his body to hit the bed completely. 

The shivers didn't go away. They kept there for some seconds and the feeling was still present on Hongjoong’s cock, which kept on twitching. 

“Ah, ah, a-ah…” 

Hongjoong swallowed down and tried to calm his breathing. 

His hand was hurting like hell and his fingers felt cold. The only thing he could do was just lay there, waiting for the feeling to go away, but in the end it never did. Hongjoong noticed that the burning was still present in his stomach and his cock was rock-hard. Nothing had come out of it, even when for a moment Hongjoong felt as if he had exploded. 

The feeling was strong enough to make it difficult for him to move. 

“Ah… I… It h-hurts,” he kept on whining, trying to toss around and sit down to look at the camera. His arms didn't have the strength to support him and he fell down twice before finally being able to half-sit. “I… I didn't c-cum… I swear… The ring didn't l-let me, but ah… it hurts so much, so much. I wanna cum so bad. I want someone to fuck me, please, my hole is so empty and my hand is so tired-” 

He was dizzy and tired, but Hongjoong’s eyes read the comments. 

‘That was SO HOT’ 

‘Give me ur address, I’ll fuck u right now, baby’

‘Shit, I wanna fuck u so bad right now! I wanna make u scream some more and fill that hole of yours!’

‘U had a dry orgasm hahaha’ 

“My cock is still h-hard,” Hongjoong whispered and tried to sit down on the bed to show his sensitive cock. While doing that, the toy shifted inside him too. He hissed. “Can you see it? It’s a-angry and red and… I wanna…” 

‘Don’t cum yet, slut!!’

‘Give us another dry orgasm’  

Hongjoong sniffed and took the base of the toy again, biting his lip. He didn't think too much and started pushing it again. 

.

After taking the keys from the table and sitting down at the entry to tie his shoes, Hongjoong hummed while trying to ignore the soreness on his legs, ass and right arm. It was normal for him to feel like that at least five out of the seven days of the week, but he never thought that today was going to be one of them. 

But well, his session lasted longer than expected and Hongjoong was proud of himself for keeping the cockring on him for the whole hour. 

It cost him another (painful) dry orgasm, but the payment was good. Money was money at the end of the day and now that Hongjoong was living on his own until who knows when, he needed to be prepared for everything. There was the possibility that Hongjoong would need to pay the whole rent by himself at the end of the month. 

He stood up and left the apartment, feeling the beep of the lock behind him. 

Hiding his hands inside the pockets of his green hoodie, Hongjoong walked in the direction of the elevator. He took a peek at the park in front of his building complex, noticing that some of his neighbors were walking their dogs. Sure. Almost ten at night, it was the usual hour for dog owners to walk their furry children after being the whole day at work. 

Hongjoong pressed the first floor. 

Now that he was thinking about it with a cold head, Hongjoong needed to keep his volume down. Perhaps he didn't have the fear of Seonghwa listening to him, but Hongjoong didn't want his neighbors to listen either. Especially the old ladies that were constantly gossiping around. Hongjoong would be mortified if they knocked on his door to talk about that. 

The walk to the closest minimarket was not long, but Hongjoong was more tired than usual because not only had he had a busy day but he always felt sleepy after cumming. However, he was starving and he should be ashamed to admit he hadn't eaten anything since midday. After taking a shower and cleaning himself, Hongjoong was ready to eat whatever he could find in his kitchen but sadly, couldn't find anything good enough. 

There were some vegetables that looked close to death. If not even in his best days Hongjoong would have lettuce, he was not going to risk himself by eating a suspicious one. 

He didn't have cereal or rice, neither snacks, and that couldn't do. 

“Good night!” The girl behind the counter greeted him. 

Hongjoong bowed in response. 

As quick as he could, he looked for some ramyeon and tasty snacks. Something that would work for today and at least, tomorrow. 

He went to pay and took out his card while waiting for the girl to check everything. 

“Uh?”

Hongjoong turned around and looked outside through the windows. The store was located on a corner and the first thing you could see was the house on the other side. Considering this was a quite cheap and old neighborhood, the illumination was not the best. For that reason, Hongjoong tried to focus his eyes and kept on looking around, but the street was empty, not even a car passing by and not even a person walking around. 

Strange.

Although not the best place, Hongjoong had never felt unsafe there. 

“It would be 35,015 won, sir,” the girl’s voice took him out of his concentration. Hongjoong looked back at her and nodded, showing her his card and doing all the process without thinking. There was a tug on his chest and goosebumps on his neck. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, sorry, I just…” Hongjoong smiled and nodded, receiving his bag with the products. 

The girl seemed younger than Hongjoong, probably nineteen and for what Hongjoong could say, she was alone in the night shift. He didn't know how much she had to stay there, but he assumed it wouldn't be the best idea to scare her or make her feel paranoid. However, it also didn't feel right with him not telling her something was off just now. 

Hongjoong had the sudden feeling that someone was watching him. 

“I just thought I saw someone on the other corner,” he tried to laugh. The girl smiled but tilted her head, clearly confused by his reaction. “But I think I just imagined it, so, yeah. Uhm, have a good night. Thank you.”

“Oh, you too! Thanks for buying here.” 

Hongjoong held the bag strong and once outside, he looked at the street again. He checked one side and then the other one, but nothing. Everything was clear. The only thing Hongjoong could see was the parked cars at the side, but even the movement was almost non-existent. 

Probably, it was just his imagination. 

He needed to chill. 

Biting his lip, Hongjoong started to walk in the direction of his building and to calm himself, he hummed a melody. Well, he was really starving. He could feel his stomach growling and Hongjoong was feeling happy because he got his favorite ramyeon. It had been a while since he had the opportunity to eat it because, for some reason, it was always out of stock. It seemed as if it was the most popular one. And, he also got that sweet snack he had been craving the whole week. 

Crack. 

Hongjoong stopped on his track. 

Frozen on his spot, Hongjoong shivered and regretted wearing shorts and not his baggy pants. His heart was beating faster and his mind was getting tangled. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, giving another step and then the next one, finally being able to walk again. Yet, Hongjoong could see his vision was starting to get black and it was difficult for him to concentrate on anything but the heavy weight on his back. 

It was his imagination, just his imagination. It could be a cat. 

Pat, pat, pat. 

It was not his imagination. 

Those were steps. Someone was walking behind him. 

Hongjoong’s heart throbbed and he clenched his hand on the plastic bag. Trying to not be obvious, he walked faster than before and ignored the pain on his lower body. His breathing was becoming erratic and shit, shit, Hongjoong needed to calm down. He couldn't have a panic attack here on the street. The sounds were getting closer and they seemed stronger than before. Whoever was behind him quicked their steps at the same time Hongjoong did it. But wait, wait a second, it could be just a random person walking home too. It could be. There was the possibility. 

Lost in his thoughts, Hongjoong almost fell down when his shoe hit a rock. 

He was able to keep himself standing, but now he felt the presence closer to him. 

Calm down, calm down. 

Hongjoong gave one step to his right, trying to free the way for the person to pass him but it didn't happen. It was getting closer and Hongjoong had the feeling it was aiming at him. 

His next reaction was walking faster and trying to create another gap, however in the moment he started jogging he knew this person wanted to hurt him because the steps increased. It couldn't be! The stranger was actually following him. Hongjoong’s mind was running and the adrenaline was increasing. He tried to hold himself together and with an impulse, started running but just as the previous mimicked actions, the stranger ran behind him too. It made Hongjoong want to cry, not understanding what the hell was happening. The only thing he could do was concentrate on running faster. He needed to get to his building and be safe. But fuck, his legs were getting tired and the street was inclined. 

What the heck did this stranger want? Rob him? 

Oh no, Hongjoong was scared. He was so fucking scared. 

He needed to run faster. He needed to-

“Stop there.” 

“Agh!” Hongjoong squeaked. 

A heavy arm curled around his neck, forcing him to stop and bend down, almost making him fall down to the floor if it wasn't for the body that stopped him. Hongjoong felt the air getting stuck on his throat and his eyes got filled with tears. The bag fell from his hand and automatically, he tried to release the hold on him by pushing the arm away from his body. 

It was a man. 

The stranger forced Hongjoong back without caring about his struggle. He was obliged to walk backwards, his back constantly colliding with the chest of the man. The arm around his neck made it difficult to breathe and now Hongjoong was holding on the stranger’s bicep, trying to release some of the pressure because he was scared of being choked to death. 

“No, no, no-”

“Sssh, keep quiet, boy,” the man whispered against his ear. “Or I'm gonna hurt you for real.” 

Hongjoong sobbed. “Ple-please… please, no…” 

He couldn't do anything more but mumbling desperates ‘ no, no, no’ over and over again. He tried to look above his head and noticed the man was guiding him to a dark alley. 

Hongjoong panicked more and trembled, trying to plant his feet on the ground but the man didn't care. He was stronger than Hongjoong and didn't have an issue in dragging him around. Hongjoong didn't know what to do. His whole body was shaking but he knew that if he didn't do something right now, he was going to be hurted or worse. 

Suddenly, he remembered that day Bumjoong had taught him one of the self-defense attacks he had learned in the military service. In full desperation, Hongjoong tried to step on his attacker’s feet and hit him with his elbow, but the man seemed to understand what Hongjoong wanted to do before he could actually do it because the arm around his neck disappeared. Yet, he didn't have the opportunity to celebrate that because Hongjoong’s hands were held against his back in a painful grip. 

He was already crying when his chest hit the cold wall of the alley. 

His attacker almost twisted the grip on his wrists and Hongjoong cried more, fearing he was going to get his hands broken just like that. The man stepped closer to him, almost pressing his body against Hongjoong and making him suffocate. 

“Did you try to hit me, boy?” 

“‘m sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” Hongjoong babbled. The hold increased and he yelled in pain. His face was pressed against the concrete and something was cutting on his cheek. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please don't hurt me, please, please. I h-have… You can take my wallet, my cell phone, I…” Hongjoong’s mind was in blank. He didn't have anything more to offer. “You can take my wallet! I’ll give you the passwords t-to my c-cards! Please, please, let me go.” 

“Not gonna do, boy,” his attacker laughed and Hongjoong felt his breath against his air. “We’re not in a hurry. We can do much more. You tried to hit me before, huh? I should return the favor. Pick one: left or right?” 

Hongjoong yelped when the pressure on his wrists increased. 

He was going to break them. 

“No, no, no, no! Please! S-Stop!” 

“If you're a leftie, you should pick right. Do it quickly or I’ll do it for you.”

“No, please, please, I'm sorry!”

He closed his eyes, fully crying and feeling the pressure on his whole body. Hongjoong was sure he was hearing the crack of something snapping and then, like a miracle, the noise of quick steps getting closer. 

“Hey! Stop that, now!” 

Hongjoong didn't open his eyes but finally, the pressure and hold of his attacker disappeared and he felt as if he could finally breathe. Shocked as he was, the only thing he did was placing his hands in front of him and using the wall as a support to not fall down. He turned around and looked at a new incomer pushing his attacker away. It seemed as if they were fighting and because of the lack of lightning, Hongjoong couldn't be sure but someone was hitting the other. 

One of them ran away. 

Hongjoong’s savior was standing some meters away from him, breathing, and the only thing he could do was look at his back. 

The person cursed and for a moment, Hongjoong was sure the voice sounded familiar. Then, he turned around to get closer to him and Hongjoong knew why. 

It was Wooyoung. 

“Hey, hey, hyung,” Wooyoung called him and held him by his arms. At that moment, Hongjoong noticed how strong the trembling of his body was and how cold he felt. The only thing he could do was looking at Wooyoung’s face, thinking that he was so fucking grateful the boy was standing there in front of him. “Are you okay? Hyung, I… Please, I… You’re fine, hyung, he went away. You’re safe. I’m sorry I didn't get here earlier and-”

Hongjoong tried to speak. 

The only sound that came out was an ugly wail. 

Wooyoung’s image got foggy at the same time the tears started to fall down again, stronger this time. He didn't have control of his own body, shaking until it ached. Hongjoong’s arms were aching and also, his wrists were burning. But he felt Wooyoung’s hands on him, holding him and Hongjoong had never been so grateful of seeing someone in his whole life. 

He was so scared he could still feel it in his bones. 

“Wo… Wuh- ” 

“Oh, no, no, please, it's fine, hyung.” The boy hugged him, passing his arms around his body and Hongjoong just allowed him, pressing himself against the other like a dead weight. He kept on crying. “It's fine. I'm sorry. I'm here. I'm sorry, hyung, you’re fine now. I’ll protect you. You’re safe. Please, please, don’t cry. I’m here. I’m not leaving you, hyung.” 

Hongjoong felt his hands clenching Wooyoung’s shirt, desperate to actually have him with him and terrified of the mere thought of Wooyoung disappearing. His mind was still shaken, not being able to grasp into his new reality and the only thing he could think was how much his body ached and how scared he had been, and how he wanted to cry until his throat ached. Like that, he couldn't care any less about hugging Wooyoung like that. 

He was his savior. 

.

Still shaking, Hongjoong sat down on his couch. Beside him, Wooyoung whispered a gentle “that’s fine. It’s alright” and Hongjoong could only nod. He was still crying, but at least the intensity had decreased since he started; his eyes were starting to ache and his nose was completely puffy. The only way for him to breathe was by opening his mouth and each time he tried to do it, sobs would leave. 

Hugging himself, feeling his face burning and wrists aching, Hongjoong followed Wooyoung walking around his apartment as if he was looking for something. The boy was mumbling under his breath, but as quite shocked as he was Hongjoong was unable to understand him. 

Wooyoung was kind enough to walk him all the way to his building and once there, Hongjoong couldn't let him go. He had clenched Wooyoung’s jacket with a deathly grip, breaking down into more sobs once he understood Wooyoung was going to leave him but thankfully, the other seemed to understand and just smiled to him, passing one arm around his middle to press him closer to his side and telling him he wouldn't leave him. It helped Hongjoong to get calmer and like that, he guided Wooyoung to his apartment with the only aim of feeling secure and having some rest. 

“I'm sorry to bother you, hyung, but you have some bruises.” Wooyoung got closer to him. He was holding the paper towels Seonghwa was always buying to cook or clean. “I couldn't find any tissues, but you can use this to blow your nose.”

Ashamed, Hongjoong received the paper and sniffed. 

He was looking at his hands, not thinking about anything at all when Wooyoung spoke again: 

“Do you have a botequim, hyung?” 

“Ba… Bathroom…” 

Luckily, Wooyoung didn't need more information. 

Hongjoong observed how he walked to the bathroom and at first, it seemed as if he was opening doors to know which room was which. Still not working properly, Hongjoong’s mind took some seconds to remember he had a session before going out and he didn't remember cleaning everything inside his room. He didn't need to because Seonghwa was not there anymore. 

He shifted on his seat, panicking at the idea of Wooyoung discovering his things because embarrassment was suddenly stronger than pain and fear, but before he could stand up Wooyoung came back with the small box between his hands. 

Hongjoong gulped down. 

“Here. I’ll disinfect your wounds and put a bandage on them. You only have small cuts in your hands and one in your cheek, but they look more superficial.” Wooyoung said after kneeling on the floor in front of Hongjoong. The height difference made Wooyoung’s head be at his chest level. “I’ll be careful. I actually had cleaned wounds worse than these ones before. I’ve a little brother, you see, and sometimes he falls down while playing.” 

The only thing Hongjoong could do was look at the way Wooyoung opened the box, taking cotton and alcohol out. When Wooyoung asked him for his hands, Hongjoong followed his instruction and a grimace appeared on his face when he felt the burning of the disinfectant. 

With Wooyoung’s presence, Hongjoong was starting to feel calmer. 

The boy sat down beside him to clean the cut on his cheek. Like that, Wooyoung’s face ended up close to Hongjoong’s and he couldn't stop himself from thinking once again how gorgeous the other was. 

“It's not big, hyung, someone could think you did this to yourself while shaving.” Wooyoung whispered, his breath hitting Hongjoong’s cheek and ear. It made him avert his eyes and look to the wall to think about something different. “But there will be a bruise tomorrow…” Wooyoung tsked his tongue. “What a dickhead. I should have hit him in the face to make him pay. How did he dare to scare and hit such a pretty boy like you? Asshole. We should go and report him in the police station. Scum like him shouldn't walk around freely…” 

Wooyoung was still talking but Hongjoong couldn't listen to him anymore. 

Wooyoung was holding his chin to keep him still and Hongjoong couldn't know if it was because of his presence or the fact that Wooyoung himself had a special aura, but he had stopped crying. Now, his eyes were just aching and feeling puffy, but the tears had stopped. A headache was coming, he knew it, but Hongjoong didn't mind listening to Wooyoung’s voice.

The boy had saved him. 

He didn't know how or for what reason Wooyoung was in his neighborhood but Hongjoong didn't care. The younger one had appeared in the exact moment and he was so fucking grateful he didn't know how to repay him. Hongjoong felt his chest contracting and an euphoric feeling blooming inside him. Although his body was still aching, Hongjoong could only concentrate on the mole under Wooyoung’s eye and the one in his lower lip. 

Suddenly, Wooyoung’s voice stopped. 

Hongjoong was kissing him. 

As if he was under a spell, Hongjoong had pressed himself closer until his lips touched against Wooyoung’s. The other didn't react at first and Hongjoong didn't care because he himself couldn't understand his own actions. That euphoric feeling was the only thing making him move right now and there was something pulling him towards Wooyoung. It wasn't only the fact he was there with him right now and he had appeared in the exact moment, but since the first meeting they had Wooyoung had done nothing but flirt with Hongjoong. He knew it. At first Hongjoong had tried to turn a blind eye to that but he was not an idiot, and neither was he really blind. 

In their first encounter Hongjoong admitted Wooyoung was handsome and that aesthetic beauty made him shy while sitting beside him. 

Hongjoong had not been ignorant to Wooyoung’s charisma and attractiveness. 

The boy’s comments and approaches weren't helping in his process of keeping his head out of such thoughts of desirability because, after all, Hongjoong was sure he was not looking for a relationship. Especially not now, at least, because there was no way he could hide something as crucial as the fact he was selling his body to hundreds of people who paid him to fuck himself on cam. 

But now that control has snapped. 

Hongjoong opened his mouth and shyly, licked at Wooyoung’s lower lip and especially the part where he was sure his mole was. His body was not his and it didn't want to follow the instructions from his mind. Hongjoong’s mouth kept on kissing Wooyoung’s lower lip until he could suck it gently. 

With Wooyoung’s lack of response Hongjoong went back to reality. 

He stopped and pushed himself away, suddenly ashamed. 

“I…” He didn't want to look at Wooyoung’s face but at the same time he couldn't look away. The boy was quiet and his gaze was intimidating, something that made Hongjoong want to crawl down and hide himself. “I'm s-sorry… I don't know what I'm doing…. I t-think I lost my mind and I'm so sorry, Wooyoung-ah, oh my god. I don't know what I'm an idiot and I'm-”

“Hyung.” 

Wooyoung’s voice was low and deep. It had the effect of making Hongjoong close his mouth in an instant. 

The expression on Wooyoung's face hadn’t changed, nor had he moved. It seemed as if his whole body went rigid. Hongjoong wanted to look away because his eyes were pinning him down and the tears were close to appear. He acted like an idiot, stupid, and probably Wooyoung was disgusted with him because what if Wooyoung had not been flirting with him but just being nice? What if Hongjoong’s sick mind had imagined the whole thing because he craved love and contact? 

“I'm s-sorry…” 

“Hyung.” Once again, that deep tone and Wooyoung finally move. It wasn't to push Hongjoong away. Contrary to that, he cupped the side of his face that was not bruised and touched his lower lip with his thumb. It made Hongjoong want to melt. “Do you really wanna kiss me?” 

There was no way for Hongjoong to lie. 

Wooyoung didn't look away from him and Hongjoong found himself unable to look at anything else but Wooyoung. Suddenly, it was like the boy was the only thing he could admire; his presence was overwhelming and the space in his tiny apartment felt suffocating. Hongjoong couldn't understand how attraction could be this strong but whatever it was, it was pulling him toward Wooyoung with strength, without allowing him to break free. 

Shyly, he nodded. 

Wooyoung pressed his thumb on his lip and Hongjoong had the idea, an imagination, of sucking and licking the digit. 

“God, you're delicious.” Wooyoung whispered and probably Hongjoong was able to understand him because of how close they were. If he pushed a little closer, they would be kissing again. In reality, the only thing keeping him from kissing Wooyoung was the boy himself. He seemed to have more self control. “Believe me, hyung, if I could I would lay you down on this couch and kiss you until your lips ached.” 

Then do it, Hongjoong wanted to say but the only thing he did was licking his dry lips and by accident, he touched Wooyoung’s thumb. 

The boy’s eyes got darker. 

Hongjoong understood the thing hiding in Wooyoung’s eyes was desire. 

“But you're injured and had a bad night.” He whispered and caressed his skin with his thumb. Slightly and relaxing under the touch, Hongjoong felt himself closing his eyes. “I don't wanna take advantage of your state and I don't think this is the right moment to do this. But believe me, from my part I would kiss you like crazy if I could.” 

“You can…” 

“Not gonna do, pretty, sorry.” Wooyoung’s voice was like silk. Hongjoong melted some more with that praise. “We should talk tomorrow. If you want, of course, if you don't… I'm not pressuring you.” 

The rational part of Hongjoong’s brain understood what Wooyoung was saying and knew he was right. He couldn't understand his own actions. He should feel ashamed of doing what he did and even now he couldn’t even know why he went and kissed Wooyoung. It was an impulse that came out of nowhere but if he was honest, Hongjoong didn't regret it. 

He could only nod. 

“I'm sorry,” he whispered again, “you’re right.” 

“Don't be sorry, hyung.”

“Would you…” Finally, Hongjoong found it impossible to look at the other. “Would you stay with me tonight, please? I… I don't wanna be alone.” 

“Of course, hyung.” 

When Wooyoung moved on the couch to find a more comfortable position, Hongjoong just allowed himself to press his head on his shoulder and didn't push Wooyoung when the boy passed one arm around his shoulders. 

He fell asleep like that. 

(Once upon a time, Hongjoong saw a documentary about the wild with Seonghwa. Both of them were bored and too lazy to find something more interesting so they ended up watching different animals being hunted down. It was grotesque and for a brief moment, Hongjoong thought about going vegetarian after watching the poor things being eaten half alive. 

How cruel nature could be. 

“It isn't cruel, Joong-ah.” Seonghwa had said with a shrug, filing his nails. “Animals aren’t cruel. For them, it’s just instinct. Cruelty and wrongness come from humans.” 

“It’s disgusting and sad.” 

Hongjoong could still remember one that, until today, made his stomach flip in an uncomfortable way. 

A rabbit being killed by a fox. 

Hongjoong remembered because he had seen the images of the rabbit peacefully eating grass and vegetables in nature, when suddenly the camera had pointed to a fox stalking at it from a distance. The narrator had commented about how the little rabbit, unknowingly, was already the prey of a predator and couldn't know because it was too busy about the prize before its eyes. Rabbits were shy and careful creatures, but primal urges could do such things to the most cautious of the animals. 

Watching that, Hongjoong felt the urge of yelling at the rabbit to run away because for him it had been obvious the fox was getting closer. 

Runrunrunrunrunrun- The rabbit noticed once it was too late…

DANGERDANGERDANGERFUCKINGDANGER

Hongjoong had whined and commented something about that being horrible, and Seonghwa had decided it was the moment to change the channel.) 

Hongjoong didn't need to look for a roommate anymore. 

One week after the incident Wooyoung moved in with him and contrary to what he initially thought, Hongjoong didn't feel uncomfortable with the idea. While looking at Wooyoung carrying some boxes with his personal belongings inside the apartment, Hongjoong could only feel a sudden excitement making him get all bubbly. 

It could be because since that night, something had been going on between them. 

Not that night. No. Showing how he actually had more self control and maturity than Hongjoong himself, that night Wooyoung did nothing but cuddle him on the couch. Hongjoong was surprised at himself about the fact he was actually able to fall asleep against someone who perhaps was not a stranger, but was not a friend-friend either. However, in a way he felt safe and less alone, especially after Hongjoong had been terrified of staying the whole night in his apartment without another person because he was still jumpy about what happened. 

He had a good rest. 

When he woke up, Hongjoong noticed he was laying on top of Wooyoung with a blanket covering both of them and he had been using his chest as his personal pillow. He couldn't remember lying down, but Hongjoong assumed Wooyoung had changed the position to something more comfortable. Although he had tried to be as slow and quiet as possible, it seemed it was enough to wake Wooyoung up. 

Hongjoong had been ashamed and mumbled an apology. 

Wooyoung had just smiled, parted some bangs out of his forehead and said it was nothing. 

The younger one took a shower and in the meantime, Hongjoong cleaned his room as fast as possible from whatever could be suspicious (he wasn't thinking about bringing Wooyoung to his room, but it was a precaution) and checked the rest of the apartment. Because Wooyoung was similar in height to Hongjoong he could give him clean clothes for him to wear. Then Hongjoong had also gone to the bathroom to take a shower and make himself more presentable. At that moment when he looked at the mirror he saw how the side of his cheek that had been pressed on the wall looked worse. 

It was not only an ugly purplish-blue tone, but also it was quite swollen and it hurt when Hongjoong tried to make certain gestures such as smiling wide. Added to that, his wrists were hurting like a bitch and Hongjoong briefly thought if it was necessary for him to see a doctor. 

When Hongjoong was ready he noticed Wooyoung had prepared breakfast for both of them. Such detail had made Hongjoong blink in surprise, getting more shy than before because of the attention. Wooyoung was being nothing but sweet to him. 

“Hyung,” Wooyoung called while Hongjoong had been trying to pick the rice with his spoon. “We should go to the police station to fill out a report. This can’t stay like that.” 

“I suppose.”

“I can accompany you if you're afraid of going alone.”

Hongjoong had giggled at that. 

“I don't want to annoy you anymore, Wooyoung-ah, I already made you stay the whole night with me when,” he licked his lips, “you had more interesting things to do. I'm sorry for using your whole night for nothing.”

“It wasn't nothing, hyung,” Wooyoung growled. 

Hongjoong felt shivers running down his spine and his body tensing after listening to that. Suddenly. feeling quite shocked, he had looked at Wooyoung and noticed the boy was looking at him with a serious expression: his jaw was tense and eyes not moving away from him, the fingers of the hand clenching his spoon were white. 

All that time, Wooyoung had been nothing but full of smiles and cheerful tones so when Hongjoong noticed how serious he was he didn't know how to react. 

He gulped down and averted his eyes. 

“I… I'm sorry,” Wooyoung whispered and his hand was gently caressing the back of his. Hongjoong blinked a few times and just then he noticed the tears falling from his eyes. Before he could react, Wooyoung was at his side, hugging him. Hongjoong’s head ended up pressed against his chest, listening to his quick heartbeat. “I'm sorry, hyung, I didn't want to snap at you like that. Fuck, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, pretty, please, don't cry anymore. I'm sorry.”

“ U-ugh …” 

He was unable to stop the tears from falling down.

The only thing Hongjoong could do was press against Wooyoung’s body and feel him. 

“Ssssh, I'm sorry, pretty. I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you,” Wooyoung had caressed his hair and massaged his scalp. “I just didn't want you to believe that it bothers me being with you. It's not like that, hyung. I thought I made it pretty clear since the first moment I saw you in class that I just want to be close to you all the time. I… shit, I think it’s not fair to tell you this after what you had to live yesterday… doesn't feel like the right moment but, yeah, it's not a bother. If I could, I would cuddle with you the whole day today too.” 

Hongjoong tried to sniff to avoid the snot from running down because it was too embarrassing thinking about making a disaster in Wooyoung’s expensive clothes. At the same time, he cleaned his face with the sleeves of the hoodie he was wearing. But it seemed like Wooyoung knew what he needed because he took some napkins from the table and pressed them to Hongjoong’s nose, cleaning the mess. 

It made him feel embarrassed and self conscious, but Hongjoong was so tired he just allowed it to happen. 

“I… I don't even know what you were doing here,” in the neighborhood. “B-But you stayed the whole night and probably you had somewhere to go a-and…”

“Sssssh, hyung, no, don't worry.” Wooyoung kept on cleaning his tears and Hongjoong tried to calm himself. “I was just looking for some apartments because I need to move somewhere new. That’s  all. I do it at that hour because well, I'm busy the whole day with university and other stuff. There was nothing else for me to do. You didn't ruin anything and besides, it was not your fault, hyung. You were scared and in shock, of course I was going to stay with you. I wouldn't leave you alone like that.” 

Hongjoong’s body shook with the strength of his sobs but after listening to Wooyoung’s words he was feeling calmer. 

He looked at Wooyoung’s face and without really thinking, blurted out: 

“Live with me.” The sentence sounded pitiful and Wooyoung’s face was a poem, but Hongjoong tried again: “I… I'm looking for a roommate and w-we know each other already, and…” 

There was no way for Hongjoong to explain how terrified he was of being alone in the apartment and also, how now he had actually kissed Wooyoung and faced the attraction he tried to avoid from the first class, there was no way for him to stop thinking about it. 

“Sure.”

And that was it. 

After eating breakfast, Wooyoung had gone with him to the police station and then, kept by his side when Hongjoong called Seonghwa to tell him the news about the moving. 

Today, Hongjoong was now smiling at a happy Wooyoung who had finally brought the last box inside his new room. Of course, because he didn't want to be a swindler Hongjoong mentioned all the disadvantages the apartment and his new room had. Such as not being super big, the walls were not soundproof (this could be an issue because his room and Wooyoung’s were beside the other), sometimes they didn't have hot water in the morning and in the winter, the place could be really cold. 

“Oh, I don't mind, hyung! I find this place perfect for me,” Wooyoung chirped and laid himself on the naked mattress. Hongjoong looked at him from the frame door. “Besides, you didn't say anything about the biggest advantage of this place: you.” 

Hongjoong snorted and covered his mouth with his hand, embarrassed. 

“By the way, what are all of those boxes?” He decided to change the topic and ask the question running inside his mind. “They seem pretty big and heavy.”

“Oh, those?” Wooyoung sat down and pointed to the boxes beside the empty desk. “My computer. It's like my son at this point, so I had to take him with me everywhere.”

“A desktop computer?” Hongjoong raised one eyebrow, finally stepping inside to get closer to the boxes. Now that he looked at it closer, one of them said ‘screen’ and the other ‘tower’. He went from one to another, but because they were closed he couldn't see how it looked. When he tried to push one of them he noticed that, in fact, it was pretty heavy. “That's vintage. So, are you a gamer? I always heard and thought that gamers were the only ones still using these types of computers.” 

“You could say that.” Wooyoung was sitting at the edge of the mattress and looking at him with a mischievous smile. 

In that position, because he was wearing a sleeveless shirt Hongjoong had a great vision of his muscles. 

He needed to avert his eyes to keep himself calm. 

They hadn't kissed since the night of the incident, but god, Hongjoong wanted to. 

“I'm quite a big fan of technology. That 's all. And you still need them to work properly in other things such as designing or photography.” 

“O-Oh, sure.” 

There were more boxes around but Hongjoong was now feeling too shy to ask him about them. Besides, he didn't want to be nosey. 

For a few seconds, neither of them spoke. 

“Hyung.”

“Uhm?” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

Hongjoong looked up so fast his neck ached. 

He found Wooyoung was still looking at him and although he was not smiling as before, his expression was relaxed. He couldn't hold himself from looking at Wooyoung’s mouth and that mole on the lower lip. He felt himself gulping down the saliva that had accumulated and then understood he needed to answer, but he couldn't find his voice. 

Hongjoong nodded. 

Gently, Wooyoung patted the spot beside him. 

Trying to remain calm, Hongjoong stood up and shyly sat beside Wooyoung. The only thing he could do was look at his hands on top of his legs, not knowing where to touch and how to do it. When they kissed it was because of Hongjoong and his impulsivity, but now that they were in a different situation and it was the middle of the day, Hongjoong couldn't face him. 

It didn't matter. 

Careful of his still bruised side, Wooyoung held his face and got closer to him. Hongjoong tried to count the seconds inside his head but before he could get to four Wooyoung’s mouth was on top of his and just as that night, it felt amazing. However, now Hongjoong felt more awkward because he didn't know what to do or how to move himself, so he kept his hands still on his lap and closed his eyes, feeling Wooyoung’s soft lips against his. 

He whimpered softly when he felt something wet touching his lower lip. It was impossible for him to hold his own moan when Wooyoung sucked it, as if he had decided to make out with just one part of Hongjoong’s mouth. That attention was enough to make something tingle inside his pants and Hongjoong pressed his legs together, unconsciously trying to create some friction while his brain kept its complete focus on Wooyoung’s mouth biting his lip and pulling at it. Suddenly, Wooyoung’s body pressed closer to him and Hongjoong needed to place one hand on the mattress to not fall down. Wooyoung’s presence was intoxicating and it seemed as if the younger one wanted to devour his mouth. 

Wooyoung separated from him just enough to hold his chin and make Hongjoong part his mouth open. 

When Wooyoung’s hot tongue entered his mouth, another moan left him and Hongjoong pulled away, breaking the contact. He noticed how a thread of saliva was connecting their mouths. It broke down when Wooyoung licked his lips clean and Hongjoong had to close his eyes at the sight, too overwhelmed by Wooyoung’s gaze on him. 

It was powerful and…

Hungry. 

“I… I'm sorry-” Hongjoong whispered, noticing how his legs were shaking and he still had his thighs pressed together. “It took me by surprise a-and…” 

“Do you want to stop?” 

“No! I…” He shook his head. “I l-like it, it's just… I don't…” God, it was so embarrassing to say it. He looked away, to the wall and then the open door. He knew Wooyoung was still looking at him and when the boy tapped him on the cheek to catch his attention, Hongjoong knew there was no way he could avoid saying it: “I don't know how to k-kiss… I mean, I know, but it has been a while and my kisses were just like… silly touches and… yeah…”

He was so embarrassed he wanted to disappear. 

Wooyoung kept looking at him; face a mask of motionlessness as if he was thinking deeply about what Hongjoong said. He kept on caressing his healthy cheek and although a gentle smile appeared, Hongjoong couldn't stop looking at how big his pupils were. 

“Damn, hyung, you're so precious.” Wooyoung bit his lower lip and with his thumb caressed Hongjoong’s lip. It made something burn in Hongjoong’s belly and for a moment he was terrified of doing something stupid such as sucking Wooyoung’s finger. “I swear it's unfair. I wanna eat you right now. My pretty hyung is embarrassed and shy when he shouldn't feel like that.”

“Please, don't say it like that-” 

It was mortifying and Hongjoong was sure his face was red. 

“Ow, hyung is more embarrassed? Adorable.” Wooyoung cooed and finally let go of his face. Part of Hongjoong was glad but another one missed the touch the moment it went away. “You don't have to be embarrassed. You're so cute… I… Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with not knowing. I’ll teach you.”

Hongjoong’s mind went dizzy after hearing that last part. 

He blinked and before he could ask something, Wooyoung moved on the mattress until he was sitting with his back against the wall. Hongjoong didn't understand the reason for doing that until Wooyoung patted his lap with both hands and in that moment, Hongjoong was sure his face went from red to angry red. 

Hongjoong opened his eyes wide and covered his mouth with his hand. 

“Wh-what?” 

“Sit on my lap, hyung, it's more comfortable.” Wooyoung tilted his head and by doing that, his neck and collarbones were in full display for Hongjoong. Not only that, he could see how sharp his jawline looked and he needed a second to compose himself. Yet, Hongjoong couldn't stop from imagining running his fingers along those edges and lick them. “I swear we’re not going to do anything you don't want to.” 

For a moment, Hongjoong tried to find the consequence of this action but then he decided he didn't care about that. 

Carefully, he went to position himself on top of Wooyoung’s lap with each one of his legs straggling him. It was weird and when Hongjoong sat down fully on his thighs, he felt his belly burning and cock twitching again because the position was not super sexual, but there was something inside the room that made Hongjoong’s mind feel as if it was full of fog. 

Wooyoung gave him half a smile. 

“Sit closer, hyung,” for a moment, Wooyoung’s hands held his thighs close to his ass and in one movement, he pulled Hongjoong closer until their chests were pressed. Hongjoong felt Wooyoung’s bulge close to his and it made him release a soft noise. “That's better. You can support yourself on my shoulders. It will be more comfortable.” 

He did. 

Like that, the kissing session started again. 

Hongjoong did just as Wooyoung had told him. When he needed to open his mouth, he did and when Wooyoung told him to tilt his head to the side or try to touch his tongue, Hongjoong did. It was weird but at the same time, it felt great. Hongjoong was full of holding himself on Wooyoung’s shoulders and trying to keep himself together, but his breathing was erratic and in a moment he was sure some of the drool was falling down the side of his chin. 

When Hongjoong’s tongue touched Wooyoung’s it made his head explode. 

He couldn't understand how something as simple as kissing could feel this good. Hongjoong had done different things in front of the camera and he had shown his body to people just for money. He didn't care now. He was used to it and there was some type of pleasure in knowing that people actually paid for looking at him fuck himself with toys or his hand, but now Hongjoong was feeling out of himself just because of Wooyoung’s mouth. 

Hongjoong felt addicted and drunk. 

He couldn't know how much time passed, but Hongjoong noticed how he started to get more comfortable with the technique. The coordination also improved. The room was filled with wet noises mixed with Hongjoong’s own pants and moans. Wooyoung’s hands were holding him by the waist, but Hongjoong wished he would touch and caress his back and ass, grab his flesh and make him moan louder. Suddenly, he wanted Wooyoung to press him against his bulge and make him grind against him. 

Hongjoong wanted to grind down but he held himself together. 

They parted away to breathe. 

Wooyoung’s lips were red and puffy. 

“Aren't you an insatiable little thing, hyung?” he whispered and Hongjoong couldn't find himself to feel self conscious about it. He pouted, looking at Wooyoung’s mouth and thinking he wanted to kiss him again. “You're going to kill me here. Look at you, I think you lied to me. You said you didn't know how to kiss but you are the one taking the lead now.”

“I didn't… I…”

“I'm not complaining, pretty, I'm in heaven right now,” Wooyoung chuckled and slowly, left a trail of kisses down Hongjoong’s neck and as an automatic reaction, Hongjoong bent his head back. “You don't know… You don't know all the things I wanna do to you, hyung. All the ways I wanna have you and all the things I wanna show you… Make you feel good.” 

Looking at the ceiling and enjoying the tenderness of Wooyoung’s kisses, Hongjoong felt bold enough to answer: 

“Do them.” 

Everything, he wanted to say, everything you say. I want you. 

“I will, but not now,” Wooyoung kissed his shoulder and bit his collarbones. “Patience, dear.”