Archive of Our Own

Kohane stirred, turning over onto her side to hide from the light coming into her room. Her head was booming, clattering in her skull as she turned to her left side.

But... the light became brighter.

She hissed as she sat up in her bed. Except, it wasn’t her bed.

Even with a clouded mind and no glasses, Kohane could tell this wasn’t her room. It was too bright and interesting, it was also a cluttered mess.

She fished around for her glasses, tapping every surface in hopes of finding them, before wearing them and confirming her thoughts.

This definitely wasn’t her room nor accommodation with Minori and Shiho. Fuck.

Where was she? Who’s bed was she in? And who’s clothes was she wearing?

Kohane got out of the bed and walked to the door, it wasn’t locked so she wasn’t kidnapped. Well, it was highly likely she wasn’t.

She poked her head out of the door, watching carefully, listening for something. Anything. All that she heard was silence, and her own breathing as she looked back into the room to try to find her own clothes.

“Oh, hello?” A voice questioned as Kohane walked into the hallway coming face to face with a chest. She slowly craned her head up to look at the blue haired man who gave no facial expression or inclination to the situation. He seemed confused though but then a flash of recognition appeared in his eyes.

“You’re Azusawa, the biology student, right?”

“Erm, yes,” she whispered, playing with the shorts of the borrowed pyjamas. Her heart was thumping rapidly.

“How did you end up here Azusawa?”

“Oh, erm,” she stuttered, pushing up her glasses as she took a step back from the man. He wasn’t imposing, nor intimidating, Kohane was just a nervous wreck.

“My friend invited us- I mean, me as to erm, celebrate the end of finals,” she continued slowly. Her face flushing red as the man looked at her.

“Ah, I’ll let An know you’re awake now, you can go stay in-“ he was cut off as Kohane grasped the door handle, pushed back on the door and slipped into the room.

Her hands were shaking. They were insanely clammy too as she felt her heart beating, every minute awake, clarity was seeping in. Oh God.

What had she done? She felt like she was unable to breathe as she continued to think about it, as she tried to steel herself and keep herself strong in the room.

“Ah, you’re awake!” someone exclaimed bursting into the room as Kohane held onto the side of the wall. She attempted a smile but it fell flat when compared to the girl in front of her.

But everything looked bad in front of Shirashi An. The natural talent of the school. Her father was famous in the school but also in the music shop Minori frequented with her girlfriend (?, Kohane -admittedly- had no clue what they were). The Shirashi’s were natural talent in the music industry, and An was no exception. She was a standout with how she sang and presented herself in the school halls, her voice bouncing off every wall.

Kohane, if she had the time, would stop in one of the less busy corridors and took as little space as she possibly could, and listen. She admired An and her outgoing personality, she appreciated it a lot in comparison to engineering student Kamishiro Rui and theatre student Tenma Tsukasa. She was loud, outgoing, kind -apparently- and very pretty.

Kohane was going to die. Whether from her nerves sorrow or from gay panic as she came face to face with someone who was practically her celebrity crush, she was unsure. All she knew was the fact she would die.

“Are you okay? Do you feel better? Oh, what am I saying, you got absolutely hammered last night. I brought some painkillers and water to take them,” she rambled, getting insanely close to Kohane’s face. Frowning intensely as Kohane’s eyes widened with each step she took to get closer. She passed her the bottle and tablets and Kohane took them, her hand shaking around the bottle.

“You’re a biology student right?” An asked, making conversation as Kohane stood there awkwardly. She nodded. “That sounds so draining. No wonder you can’t handle your liquor,” she teased good naturedly as Kohane flushed bright red.

“I’m sorry,” she said, her gaze on the floor as she fiddled with her pyjamas.

“It’s fine, I mean, you made these parties fun,” An continued.

Kohane blinked.

“I made these parties fun?” she asked as An nodded.

“I’ve never seen someone absolutely demolish Akito in beer pong before and someone who can make Mizuki sweat in card games? You made this party unforgettable!” she raved, “Although, I think you drank yourself to death there.” An laughed as she walked to her wardrobe, clothes falling out as she pulled open the door, she turned back and smiled sheepishly at Kohane as she rummaged through for something.

“Your clothes from last night are in a bag downstairs but I’m not giving them to you since they’re absolutely covered in alcohol and vomit,” An explained as she fished out some clean clothes she had never worn.

She frowned as she looked back to the unsure girl, her own outfits didn’t suit her but it was that or the vomit dress. So, she sucked it up, picked up a black skirt with a square pattern with a checked pink pocket and chains attached. She rummaged to find a belt (because Kohane was definitely smaller than her), tights and obviously a top. She settled on a black crop top with a pink cropped jumper to place over it and pink and black trainers. She smiled and handed the girl the clothes, “You can put these on, just come down the stairs when you’re done,” she smiled as Kohane nodded.

“Thank you An.”

“You’re welcome. Oh, also, your phone is in Akito’s room on charge. I’ll give that to you when you come down,” she remembered, opening the door to yell out something Kohane didn’t comprehend before she smiled and closed the door behind her.

Kohane was alone now with clothes from crush? The person she admired? Whatever An was to her, she was holding them and Kohane wanted to die.

She shook her head, no, by now Shiho and Minori were probably worried to death. As well as, her schedule. Oh God. She was meant to revise for six hours today, to learn all about the cerebrum, that was an area were she was really weak on, but now that might have to change if she didn’t figure out how to put on these stupid trainer’s.

Kohane’s heart hammered as she finished getting changed. She couldn’t check herself but that was fine, she was more focused on getting her phone and getting out.

She didn’t race down the stairs, that would be rude, but she didn’t hesitate even if she wanted to. Even if her brain told her to, told her to overthink everything, she would do that later. When she had her phone and she was able to begin to revise.

“Shinonome!” she heard a female voice grit out, “Why you bastard! No fucking wonder your sister hates you you fucking carrot bastard!” she yelled, aggressively getting more angry as Kohane, slowly drew closer to the sound.

“Why are you shouting? It’s only eleven o’clock,” a man grumbled.

“Are you serious! You mother fucking bastard I’ll kill you,” An threatened as Kohane stood in the doorway watching their fight. An brandishing a butter knife in Akito’s direction, she knew who Shinonome Akito was by association to An.

“Would you really kill me in front of your guest?” Akito asked cruelly as An turned to look behind her and spotted Kohane awkwardly watching the scene.

She stood up, sending a vicious glare to Akito before she smiled so softly to Kohane. She took a glance up and down on her before smirking, “You look good like this.”

Kohane blushed bright red as An laughed and Akito grumbled. He would say he had grown used to her style of flirting, the girls who would fawn over her but watching he flirt with Kohane made him feel ill. He just wanted to eat his ramen in peace and recover from his hangover why did he have to suffer like this?

An spun around and send him a cruel smile, a teasing one as they were like family especially since Ken did consider to adopt him at one point. That didn’t happen because An cried so much everyone thought a dog had died and because as bad as the Shinonome household was, he still loved his mother and sister though he denied it.

“Ah here’s your dress and here is your phone,” she offered to Kohane before wrapping her arm around her shoulders as she led her to the door. “Do you have friends where you live to let you back in? I couldn’t find your keys in the dress pocket.”

“Ah, erm, Minori should be in right now,” Kohane replied, her voice abnormally high.

An laughed as she opened the door, “Well, stay safe Azusawa! I hope to see you again soon!”

Kohane nodded, biting her lip as she walked out onto Vivid Street, the bright colours of the street irritating her and causing her headache to be worse. The music travelling the streets from up and coming artists, the clapping of people watching them in awe, the stamping of feet to amp up a crowd. Everything was so loud.

So Kohane kept her head low even if she didn’t know where she was going exactly, but she had her phone and google maps. Kohane would make it.

-

“Kohane where were you!” Minori cried as Kohane walked through the door of their flat, Shiho was behind her and the one who let her in graciously. “Are you okay?”

“Perfectly,” Kohane replied walking over to the washing machine in the tiny kitchen, throwing her clothes in. Gagging at the smell of them, how no one had thrown up or judged her on Vivid Street was beyond her. Even Shiho scrunched her nose as she sat on the couch in the living room, picking up her bass guitar she had left out for this purpose.

“You’re wearing that and you want us to believe you’re okay?” Shiho asked, strumming the guitar softly.

“Well, I mean,” she stumbled. She was more confident  with Shiho and Minori than other people, but at times when she was interrogated and questioned she clammed up. Nearly frozen in place.

“Shiho, be nice, I mean she finally got to relax last night,” Minori justified. Shiho couldn’t refute that thought and shook her head.

“Yeah, because someone encouraged her to drink more than she could handle then fucked off with her girlfriend after I had already left because Ichika needed me,” she reminded harshly, a sense of finality as Kohane stood there.

She didn’t need them to fight.

She didn’t want that, she hated when they fought. Even if it was over milk (though Kohane was firmly correct in her belief that almond and soy milk were the best kinds of milk).

“I didn’t mean to! I thought you were there!” Minori protested.

“Well, you should’ve thought harder-“

“You are so cruel Shiho-“

“I’m blunt. Not cruel. It is not up to me to baby you Minori!”

“Oh really? Really because-“

“Both of you,” Kohane said, as loud as she could muster and the two of them stopped. Kohane seemed resigned and stressed, “Look, we made a mistake last night. All of us. Me the most but I don’t need you two to fight over me like this. Look, I just want to study, I need to know about the cerebrum.”

They both sighed as Kohane went to make a coffee for herself, opening the fridge before closing it to look at them suspiciously. “Although, next time you two are worried about me as I stay in Shirashi An’s house, do not drink my almond milk.”

Shiho looked away from Kohane’s gaze as she finished the cartoon for her coffee and Minori snorted to herself. Kohane could only shake her head fondly, sometimes she wondered what would happen if she was never there but that made her sad because some days she wasn’t there. She preferred the solitude, but that was fine. Kohane didn’t need anything else.

#

Once Shirashi An had spotted Azusawa Kohane, she could not stop noticing her around. She was often alone An had realised, racing from the library to lecture halls to the labs.

She had only learnt her name curtesy of Mizuki who knew everyone and everything in their university. They instantly knew who An was talking about when she mentioned long hair, glasses, dusty blonde hair, they knew.

They had only knew of her though, she kept to herself, seemed quite shy and nervous around people and rarely left the library or her flat to do anything so hearing she was at a party was intriguing.

But, neither An or Kohane’s schedule’s coincided. When An had class Kohane was in the library and when An was free, Kohane had class and An was not someone who would spend more time than necessary on university grounds. Even if she wanted to speak to Kohane, to ask her if she was well and any better from the party.

But two weeks had passed and everyone had forgotten it seemingly. All excited for Tsukasa’s party as stupid as it was. Most student’s drank and went out a bit, but never was there really parties, only pubs that looked at them sceptically before ushering them in as An would demand for a beer.

“You seem so distracted lately,” Mizuki stated as they tapped away on their phone, messaging their online friends and Ena, their girlfriend.

“I am not,” she countered drinking her iced Americano  and tapping her fingers around the cup. She had a melody stuck in her head but it was incomplete, it was missing something and lyrics but they would come at the end.

“Sure you aren’t and it has nothing at all to do with the cute girl who was in your bed the other week,” they mused teasingly typing frantically on their phone.

“Why did you make that sound so sexual?”

“You were the one who called me up at three in the morning going ‘Mizuki I’m about to die. I have a girl in my bed.’” they reminded, tapping An’s forehead.

The blue haired girl frowned at the notion, “But wouldn’t you panic when it’s no one you’ve seen before and they could barely stand?”

“Even in my drunken rambles, I would never go into depth how cute I found them.”

“You want to lie in that bed?” Rui asked, joining them from behind, ruffling Mizuki’s hair as they scrunched their nose up. When he let go they promptly pulled their phone up and looked into their camera at themselves, fixing the out of place strands and making sure their makeup was still fine.

Dramatic.

“I have no clue what you mean Rui,” they insisted as Rui stole some of An’s drink.

“Sure you don’t Mizu, anyway, are you two going to Tsukasa’s tonight?” he asked walking with them off of campus.

“Yeah, Ena was invited by him so I have to go, plus, I haven’t gotten drunk in a bit,” Mizuki answered.

“You haven’t gotten drunk in a bit?” both An and Rui asked simultaneously. Mizuki nodded.

“Media studies hasn’t gotten that bad in a while plus fashion design is simple,” they shrugged. “Plus, my neighbours are very entertaining at seven o’clock.”

“Seven!” Rui exclaimed whilst Mizuki nodded.

“Well yeah, one of them is a biology student so the other two as music student’s decide to sleep early for her. But because of that, they argue about milk every so often, very funny. Ena and I will stop watching TV to laugh at it,” Mizuki explained as Rui grew perplexed.

“Why hasn’t Tsukasa told me this?”

“Because your boyfriend is never in our flat, he’s always in yours he doesn’t know Minori, Shiho and Kohane like I d-“

“Kohane?” An asked upon hearing the girl's name.

“Wait cute girl who did not belong on Vivid Street?” Rui asked for clarification as Mizuki smiled.

“Yes that one. How did you think I knew so much about them? I attend once a week on average.”

“They were your neighbour and you never told me! Akiyama Mizuki! Don’t you dare run away from me! You bitch I hope you twist your fucking ankle!” An screeched, running after them as they ran to their bus stop.

Rui laughed as he carried their coffees, both of them lashing their coffees into his hands as they ran. They were as childish as ever. Never growing up, but love changed everyone, didn’t it?

#

Kohane sighed as she was left alone, Shiho was with Saki and the rest of her group and Minori was with them at the same party. They tried forcing her to go but holding those red cups of death and getting dressed up again was daunting, she was lucky An was there the first time and she didn’t want to tempt fate.

Plus, she needed to revise still. The cerebrum was hard as it was the largest part of the brain.

It was fascinating but very boring and tedious to learn the function of and the nerves. She could do it, she knew she could, it was like learning the heart and all it’s functions which (according to Minori) she could recite in her sleep. It was just, the information wasn’t sticking or being absorbed.

She groaned loudly as she heard laughing in the hallway of the accommodation, shrieks and giggles and booming voices.

Her head was spinning.

She had half a mind to go out there and interrupt them, asking them to be quiet. But she couldn’t. For Kohane would always be shy and unnoticeable, she didn’t matter ever if at all and that was fine.

She liked her life this way with her, her snake, books and the impossible cerebrum.

The hypothalamus, the part of the brain that controlled a lot. Not as much as the cerebrum which was split into two parts -hemispheres- that were then split into lobes. The lobes each had their own name and function and were either one of the two types of tissue, grey or white.

Kohane could go into more detail about that, but she was distracting herself from the next section of the forebrain she had to learn. And by learn, she meant truly read over books until her eyes cried the paragraphs she had tried to absorb. If you cut her open, her blood had to formulate those paragraphs as grim as it was.

She didn’t need to study the thalamus so that was a simple make sure she digested the information enough, which she did. The limbic system was the easiest part of the cerebrum to her. That made sense. The rest....

Well, that was the past admittedly. Now she understood it more or less. She was still patchy on areas, but she wasn’t Asahina Mafuyu. She didn’t need to know it like the back of her hand and be perfect, she just needed it to be excellent and not very excellent.

“Ah, Azusawa,” Toya greeted as he walked past her table in the corner of the library, pushing a cart of books.

She squeaked slightly before pushing her glasses up, “Ah, hello Aoyagi. Am I in your way?”

“No, not at all, I just wanted to say hello,” Toya reasoned, leaving the cart near Kohane’s table as he picked up a few books and began to shelve them correctly.

She nodded as she went back to work, her fingers typing on her laptop frantically as she scoured the internet. Even going so far as to read English websites with the basic English she knew just to gauge what in the hell the hypothalamus was.

Every result was just saying, “the hypothalamus produces happy hormones.” She knew that, Kohane was smart enough to comprehend that but she didn’t understand the depth of it. She didn’t get the deeper sense of it.

She was a scientist at heart, she wanted to know more. She wanted the science of love she guessed. If the hypothalamus was key in love to people, then what and how did it do it.

She understood the words on their own but together, everything was a mess.

She groaned accidentally, resting her head on the table as Toya looked over in concern. Frowning as he noticed the frown on Kohane’s face as she went back to typing intensely before jotting something down, seemingly copying the screen word for word onto her page as fast she could in pure and utter desperation.

He wanted to help.

He didn’t though, because Toya was an over thinker and thought to go over and close her laptop would be rude. Plus, he didn’t know her well. No one did. She was a shy nervous wreck who would rather let the world swallow her whole than fight back.

How could Toya help that?

The answer was simple, he couldn’t. So, he finished arranging his books and walked away, ignoring Kohane and her frantic desperation to understand the hypothalamus.

She had to do it. She had to.

-

Kohane felt drained by the time she had entered her accommodation building, much less her room. She could barely walk around the shop since she needed more milk, Minori wanted more butter to allow her to bake alongside other baking ingredients and Shiho only wanted more energy drinks.

Kohane was barely stood up straight, she seemed drunk, constantly stumbling around. But she wasn’t, she was fine, just a little tired and weighed down with her fifth patch of rough notes and energy drinks.

That was all.

Kohane was not tired from anything else, not in the slightest, no one could even tell and-

“Oh, Azusawa,” someone called out as she was waiting for the lift, attempting to stand straight.

She didn’t recognise the voice, it was a bit rough around the edges but seemingly they knew her. Or at least knew of her.

She tried to turn around but couldn’t, so she allowed the person to draw near, their heels clicking as they did so. “Are you okay Azusawa?” they asked, holding her arm as they tried to spin her to face them.

“I’m... okay Shinonome,” she answered, her voice devoid of nervousness. Just laced with pure exhaustion. Ena frowned, scrutinising the girl intensely.

“You don’t seem it,” she countered, looking at the bags near Kohane’s feet. “Are these yours?”

Kohane nodded and bent down to pick them up, “My apologises. I forgot they would be in the way,” she apologised, her heart hammering as her eyes grew blurry.

“Oh, no, it’s not that,” Ena stated, picking up the last few as the lift reached the bottom. Stepping in once Rui and Saki had stepped out, carrying two of Kohane’s bags which she failed to notice, attempting to bend down and pick them up.

She clearly was not okay.

“Azusawa, I took your bags, come on in,” Ena guided, holding open the door as Kohane walked to the sound of her voice, smiling softly.

Kohane entered and rested her head against the wall, missing Ena who sent a quick text to Mizuki asking for help with something. And by something, she meant Kohane but she made it vague so Mizuki made it their utmost priority and left whatever they were doing to meet her by the lift.

The lift came to a stop and Kohane walked out, nearly tripping up and barrelling into An who was on her way. She squeaked again as An steadied her, her heart hammering.

“Where’s Amia?” Ena asked, taking Kohane’s bags she had as An smiled to Kohane and wrestled the others out of her grip. Fussing over her much to Kohane’s dismay.

“Oh, they were stuck in a call with work so sent me over,” An explained as Kohane flushed bright red and jumped back. Her eyes pinging open and clarity seeping in.

God.

How cliché was this?

 Of all cliché scenarios for Kohane to wind up in, and trust she had thought about this a lot as a child, to do the stereotypical walking into someone and having them stabilise you was among the lowest on her list. She hated that idea and thought, it repulsed her instantly.

An cocked her head to the side, a frown appearing as Ena shrugged it off. Kohane was weird. She heard her arguments with her housemates often enough, though she was quiet, sometimes she was loud when they were arguing over something idiotic.

 “Is this the...?”

“Yes,” Ena answered walking ahead of them. “Azusawa looked a little out of it and I just wanted to help.”

“I’m fine Shinonome,” Kohane tried to reassure, her voice shaking as she turned to face Ena. “I can get into my apartment now.”

Ena hummed.

“You definitely can with An and I’s help,” she insisted walking to Kohane’s flat and placing the bags on the floor carefully. An nodded next to her, swiping the bag closest to her that Kohane was loosening her grip on.

She flushed red in embarrassment.

She wanted to die.

She wanted to disappear from their scrutiny as she wandered over, struggling with her head down and the cloudiness of work coming back in, fiddling with her keys.

She got the key in and twisted, pushing the door open as she dropped the first bag into the hall way, turning around to take the other bags- which were in An’s hands. Of course they were.

She smiled to Ena, “Thank you Shinonome. I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to help me. It won’t happen again.” She apologised as she vaguely realised she felt the beginnings of guilt rise in her chest.

Ena frowned, “It was no problem, you get some rest Azusawa.”

Kohane nodded as An walked past, squeezing her shoulder with a soft smile. “It was nice seeing you again Kohane,” she smiled, “If you ever need to relax again. You know where to go.”

Kohane laughed, slightly, it was half hearted and empty as she felt absolutely weighed down. She closed the door behind the two as they began to engage in a conversation and her head began to swell.

She had to organise the shopping but she couldn’t. She physically felt faint.

Maybe. Sleep would be good. Just thirty minutes to give her eyes a rest. And that’s what she did, as she struggled to reach her bedroom and collapsed on top of her blankets.

Her mind going so empty she didn’t freak out at what An had said. Unlike An who seemed fascinated by their interaction and Kohane’s flat. So much so, Ena had to call Akito over to drag her home once she had drank a beer, unable to hold back her admiration for Kohane.

That was all it was. She was pretty, fun, could beat Akito at beer pong and smart. Pure admiration was all she felt for her. Or so An claimed.

-

An was drinking again, she was always drinking as drunk An seemingly became more poetic when it came to writing lyrics and composing. She was also more fun, able to brush aside her fears of everyone leaving her because no one did. Akito and Toya always had a hand on her arm, made sure she was in their sights whilst Mizuki clung to Ena drunkenly but always played a game if extreme Marco Polo with her when separated.

But tonight, tonight she was drinking for different reasons. She didn’t want to be fun nor did she want to become more poetic, for once An wanted to forget.

She ran her hand through her hair as she cradled the red cup in her hand, her head feeling lighter in the minute.

She hated music.

In this moment at least. She hated the feeling of failing something she had natural talent in. Although, she found it hard to express what she wanted in words and right now she was absolutely tongue tied. Every time she tried to speak recently, her words got caught in her throat.

“Okay, I think you’ve had enough,” Akito stated pulling the cup away and drinking the drink. Frowning at the taste of the beer, he hated it.

“Bastard,” she slurred, leaning on the railing of one of the Tenma’s house balcony.

She looked up to the stars, the sky was so large and she was so little and insignificant. Nothing in a sea of darkness. The world was bigger than what she saw yet it affected her so much this small scope of nothingness.

“Let’s get you home,” Akito continued, touching her shoulder as An slumped onto his side. Her eyes going out of focus. “Fucking hell you’re wasted.”

She nodded. “What can I say, beer tastes nice.”

“So this has nothing to do with your music project?” Akito asked as he navigated their way through the bodies and to the door outside.

An grumbled in response as they walked past the beer pong table and grabbed Toya from the competition, yelling over the music as An started to nod off next to Akito. Her head was swimming underwater.

She was good at holding her liquor normally, but not tonight. Not in the slightest so she let her eyes close and her body sway to the music as Akito and Toya argued. Largely over who was more irresponsible for how An had turned out, although the real winners of that competition were Mizuki and herself. She decided her and Mizuki should pregame the event and Mizuki supplied the alcohol.

Soon, she started to close her eyes and let sleep consume her. Drunk An wasn’t hyperactive like she normally was, she wasn’t aggressive, she was red faced and sleepy. Two minutes from falling asleep on the floor and having Tsukasa drag her body up the stairs... again.

“Ah,” a girl squeaked as An fell into them in her dazed stupor, Akito grabbing her quickly as she tried to open her eyes. The voice seemed familiar but when everyone sounded as if they were underwater, when didn’t it?

“I’m sorry Shirashi,” the voice apologised with a high pitched lilt as they bent their head and looked up to her.

“It’s my fault,” she slurred as Akito started to drag her away. Toya staying behind to apologise, as always when An got hammered.

But it was fine. She’d sleep the hangover off and go back to being a star at music and she’d never need to know she bumped into Azusawa Kohane.

-

Kohane felt drained, very drained as she went with Shiho to a café in Vivid Street. They went together because Shiho was performing with her band at a specific live bar and invited both her and Minori to see them, but because of Shiho’s musical passion, she wanted to practice in the street and be a street performer with her bass guitar and Kohane wanted a change of scenery.

So, they went to Vivid Street in broad daylight and Kohane was currently sat in a café called ‘Weekend Garage’ where she drank some wonderful coffee and ate some good pancakes. It was a nice atmosphere filled with people who appreciated music and fell head over heels for the owner, Ken.

Apparently, he was a big musician, but Kohane didn’t know about that. Nor did she care as she was finally getting the hang of the hypothalamus and its functions.

“Ah, Azusawa!” someone yelled, rushing over to her, smiling brightly as Kohane looked up from her laptop to see An.

They needed to stop meeting like this. Actually, they needed to stop meeting at all.

“Erm, Shirashi,” she answered still typing on her laptop, pushing up her glasses with a soft smile.

“I’ve never seen you around here,” she smiled trying to continue the conversation as Kohane continued to drink the coffee and type, a lot.

“Ah, it’s my first time,” Kohane reasoned.

“Really? Well then let me- Oh hi Mrs Kawataba, how’s your husband? Oh that’s great, okay, bye now!” she smiled speaking to the customers who gushed over her. Kohane watched in awe and had to bite back her laughter.

“You seem popular here,” Kohane stated as An tipped her head back and laughed.

Gorgeous.

“Well, that’s because my dad owns the place,” she began as Kohane’s eyes widened. “Plus, Vivid Street loves to treat it’s ‘princess’ well.”

Kohane blinked repeatedly as An looked her. Observing the way when she was shocked her eyes would widen and her lashed fluttered, but then her face would morph into confusion with a cute scrunched up nose and lips in a straight line.

She was cute. Adorable even.

“Did you really not know?” An asked softly, smiling to her dad to let him know she’d be there soon. Thankfully, it was a quiet day as there was some new artists doing street performances.

“No,” Kohane replied slowly, shaking out of her trance of placing two and two together. “But, I guess, it makes sense why you’re a musical prodigy. Or so I’ve heard.” She blushed profusely as An smiled, she loved toying with Kohane. Not in a cruel way, the girl was just shy and a nervous wreck. If she acted as if she weren’t a stuttering mess she’d get red fast. Plus, she needed to repay her after falling into her the other night drunkenly. It was why she had to do extra shifts as Akito had ratted her out to her dad.

“Have you never seen me sing? And it’s your first time here...” she smiled brightly getting out her seat, “You need the full ‘Weekend Garage’ experience. Think of it as my apology for the other night.”

Kohane blinked, “You don’t have to apologise.” She stuttered her face turning a deeper shade of red as she hid her face away from An. “I thought it was fair after I made you carry my bags into my flat because I was just a little sleepy.”

An guffawed and pushed Kohane’s shoulder lightly. “It was nothing, anyone would help anyone who was two seconds from collapsing. There’s no need to feel indebted to me. But for me, I haven’t apologised to you for falling into you when drunk and I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, truly,” Kohane proclaimed strongly.

This was the first time An had heard Kohane seem strong in her speech. She constantly spoke in a soft voice that wavered every three every syllables or so, where she would pause constantly considering her words. She wasn’t upset at it, instead she found it cute and endearing.

However, as much as she liked the shy blushing mess of Kohane. She liked the determined and strong willed Kohane, the one she was seeing right now. Brown eyes ignited with anger and determination but then it faded away and she went back to the timid, endearing Kohane.

An shook her head and sighed, “I will not allow it to finish like this. It is not fine and I need to make it up to you.”

“Think of it as were even, I took your clothes and stayed in your bed the other day,” she mumbled shyly as An tutted.

“That was me being a good person, anyone would do it. But, no one would bump into a girl as pretty as you when drunk and not apologise. Besides, if I didn’t my dad and my own conscience would kill me.” She reasoned, playing with her hair and jacket and smiling softly at her with a pleading look in her eyes.

Kohane sighed as she realised she was getting no where, both with Shirashi An and her revision. Reluctantly she closed her laptop and sighed, giving into An’s persistence and her brain’s reluctance in learning about the hypothalamus. And for making An feel bad.

An smiled brightly, and Kohane would do whatever she could to keep it like that. It was absolutely mesmerising.

She skipped away brightly, waving to the customer’s and smiling to everyone. Stopping for a conversation before pointing towards Kohane as everyone looked at her, laughed and patted An’s shoulder telling her to hurry on and to the stage.

She was captivating. She had a natural aura of star power surrounding her as she walked, she made everyone yearn to see her more and more. She was powerful in her walk and her smile and her words, Kohane was jealous.

She wanted to be like that. To exude power, to make everyone stop and look at you in a good way. But Kohane didn’t want people to witness her, that was too nerve wracking when she thought on it more. An was admirable, that was why she wanted it, but Kohane wouldn’t be able to cope if she were her.

Not at all.

She reached the microphone at the front, smiling as began to tap the microphone with her fingers, her feet tapping to the beat of the song.

“Hanpa nara K.O~~” she sang as everyone turned to watch her, she was breath-taking. ¹

Kohane already knew this from the glances of An she had gotten from far away, from up above, seeing the teal dot and a crowd formulate around her. Seeing the way her friends made her special and the performance just that. A performance.

An was an ideal singer and Kohane’s heart hammered as she unplugged the microphone from the stand and sauntered over to her. The crowd watching her every move, even Ken had stopped working to watch his daughter as An bent down and Kohane got a whiff of her rose perfume as she flashed the biggest smile.

God. If An smiled like that constantly, she could replace the sun Kohane thought. And her perfume was addicting and the way she smiled and winked at her, her heart was about to explode. Especially as she could see every detail of An’s face.

But it got worse when the music stopped being an instrumental and she grabbed Kohane’s hand, pulling her up singing, “odoridase odoridase kodoku wa sakkin man’in orei.”

Dance, dance. Sanitise the loneliness. It’s a full house, thank you.

She spun her around as she continued on the song, giving Kohane a taste of something before she walked away and interacted with everyone else.

Some people were addicted to cocaine, others pain, some to the thrill of gambling but Azusawa Kohane was already addicted to Shirashi An. Addicted to the way she smiled so brightly, and sometimes when she was overwhelmed gummily, to the way she sang and dance and made everyone included. Kohane (when An had dragged her up) wanted to die, but soon An was making this small café into a live bar. Everyone was dancing, even as the song was winding down, her energy was infectious. Kohane couldn’t help but move along to the beat in her seat, to sing so softly.

Kohane also loved her big amber eyes, they were like beautiful topazes stuck to her kind and adorable face. Always glittering and a light with something whether it was love, passion, energy, excitement or determination. They were utterly captivating.

Same for her long hair that was blue but seemed grey at times as well as her bright and large smile. Whatever it was about An, Kohane adored each piece of her individually. They were separate entities to create this perfect person who made Kohane’s heart clench and hammer, skipping a few beats as her pulse rose.

She wasn’t an idiot and she didn’t need a mirror to look at her eyes. She could already tell. This was the moment where Kohane had realised she had fallen for An’s charms. It was no longer a fleeting crush, a crush of admiration those awful platonic crushes. This was a proper crush, a moment of ‘Oh shit.’

But she was glad she was always a nervous wreck because as An continued, Kohane’s heart race spiked multiple times as she smiled to her and winked in her direction. She looked away and would blame it on her natural anxiety with people, her natural nerves when it was really all because of her huge, glaring and pitiful crush on An.

She was absolutely fucked.

-

An smiled as she walked next to Kohane and her friend to the live bar. She paid no mind to who exactly Hinomori Shiho was, she was more focused on staying in Kohane’s presence longer. She didn’t have time after she finished her set singing because then customers started to pile in and she had to work with her dad.

But she spoke to Kohane when it began to die down, sat with her on her break as the girl tried very hard to avoid eye contact. Every time their eyes connected, Kohane would stop breathing and look away, going back to her laptop which had been taken out whilst An was feeding everyone.

It was cute.

That was the best way to describe Kohane, adorable, small, pocket sized Kohane.

An needed to open a thesaurus to find other ways to call her cute because cute was too basic for Kohane. It was too small of a scope to capture her. But An was never one for expressing herself with words, to her actions spoke louder than words as cliché as that was. She preferred to show her love through actions so calling Kohane cute would have to suffice.

“How did your revision go? You didn’t overwork yourself, right?” the grey haired girl asked, she made it seem casual when it really wasn’t. An could tell it was a reminder in a twisted way.

“Oh, erm, good. And no I didn’t, the café was too lively to turn off to constantly,” Kohane explained stumbling over her words. “I mean it was good for revision, it wasn’t bad, but because it wasn’t always submerged in silent I couldn’t constantly revise.”

Shiho hummed, “And that’s good. That’s perfectly alright.”

Kohane frowned, and pulled her hair out of the two ponytails it was in before tossing it over her shoulder and allowing it to cascade down her back. She pushed Shiho lightly before sighing, “You and I know it isn’t.”

Shiho scoffed, “You need to not work yourself into the ground. Not after the other night nor last year. You need to take care of yourself.”

“I do,” Kohane protested softly as they entered the live bar. She winced at the loud noise but continued onwards, looking back to An who was observing the ordeal quietly. Making notes on Kohane mentally. She wanted to be her friend, she was intrigued by her. And she wanted to hear her sing because An had seen her sing along to ‘bring it on’ and ‘alter ego.’

“This is, loud....” Kohane stated nervously as Shiho frowned and squeezed her shoulder.

“You don’t have to be-“

“I want to support you and Saki-chan,” she justified even if she felt uncomfortable with the space and how enclosed everything was.

An frowned and so did Shiho before An smiled and walked to Kohane. “You can stay with me near the back, I’m not performing tonight,” she stated as Kohane turned around, turned red and nodded.

An turned to Shiho, as if she was asking for permission. She frowned before reluctantly removing her hand from Kohane’s shoulder, and allowing An to hold her hand. Lightly, slipping into place in a way that felt right. Kohane looked away as she waved Shiho goodbye, mumbling a good luck and giving her a beaming smile.

Shiho walked away, easily weaving her way through the crowd and backstage. An held Kohane’s hand, she was a fish out of water here. An obvious target for those who weren’t the nicest, at least An was here and Akito and Toya would be one of the first to perform.

She lead Kohane over to a corner, the lights shining on them as everyone grabbed drinks and began dancing to the generic music. Kohane seemed tense, ready to run at any moment, though it was impossible with how many people there were.

She frowned as she watched Kohane shiver, pulling up her cardigan as she huddled closer to An, pushing her glasses up.

“Have you ever been to a live bar?” An questioned. Throwing her arm over Kohane’s shoulder, bringing her closer as Kohane shook her head.

“I’m not... fond of crowds and loud noises,” Kohane replied hesitantly as everyone grew louder when the music reached a beat drop.

“You’re a good friend then,” An stated simply as Kohane looked away. “I wouldn’t force myself to attend somewhere I hate, twice.”

“Three times,” Kohane correctly softly. “But, I need to grow.”

An laughed softly, tucking a loose piece of Kohane’s hair back behind her ear. “You’re an angel. I wish I was like you.”

They laughed slightly before silence fell. Everything around them was so loud, it was bound to give them a headache the next day. An could feel one forming, but it was white noise to her. Non existent.

Her brain acknowledged the bounding of the feet, the rave beginning, but her ears couldn’t. It blanked it out. She was focused on standing with Kohane who was anxiously playing with her skirt, rolling the fabric in her fingers.

“You-“ Kohane began before falling silent, looking away. The words dying in her throat as An looked to her expectantly. She hummed and moved her head to Kohane as encouragement to continue speaking. She cleared her throat.

“You said you’re not performing tonight so do you usually perform? Here at least because obviously you do since- never mind,” she rambled, her nerves getting the best of her.

“I rarely perform here,” An began slowly. “Sometimes, I join Akito and Toya on stage, most of the time I’m alone but whenever I perform its a big deal. I don’t like to perform because it seems as if I’m using dad, uncle Taiga and aunt Nagi’s legacy. I want to be Shirashi An, not the daughter of Shirashi Ken. So, I never perform. Plus, I’m still waiting on my partner.”

“Partner?”

“People rarely perform here alone, I can list everyone who performs alone on one hand,” she mentioned off handily. Smiling at the people who walked past.

Kohane nodded along. “Your family must be very important to Vivid Street.”

“They are,” An said. “When I first started out, I was succeeding a lot because of their legacy but everything else now is because of my talent alone. I mean, dad still supports me to this day, he lets me perform in the café and do street performances. He let me form some sort of agreement with akitoya too, but that’s him being a good day instead of me using his fame.” She reasoned as the crowd began to die down when the presenter walked on stage and began to announce the acts.

First was EVER which was a good introduction, not bad but not excellent so An wasn’t really announced. Followed up by BAD DOGS and An could feel the excitement in the room, tension growing massively as everyone prepared themselves for Akito and Toya Especially as they were performing a new song, one An greatly enjoyed. Then there were a few other people, the middle was filled with new comers and some important people before Arata would close off.

“Who are your friends?” An asked as EVER came onto stage, she was never enthralled by their performances.

“Leo/need,” Kohane replied happily. “They’ve been a group since high school, apparently.”

“Oh, so you’re not old friends with Shiho?”

“No, we’re friends because we dorm together,” Kohane stated. “She’s nice.”

An smiled softly, “I’m glad.”

Silence fell over them, and the rest of the venue as Akito and Toya walked on stage. “Aoyagi?” Kohane breathed, entranced as the music began. The thunder of the song was powerful and captivating as An watched proud.²

One day, and she knew it deep down, that they would surpass ‘Rad Weekend’ if they continued the way they were. They were natural on stage even if they lacked some things, such as Akito singing skills and Toya’s rapping.

“kikasete yo heart beat,” An sang along as the boys were performing their hearts out. It was like she was watching a movie and was witnessing the final song with how proud they were, how powerful they seemed. And she was the mentor, looking on proudly and softly as the song came to a close and she heard a soft piano mark the end.

And she truly was proud, she knew the old Toya would’ve frozen and been harsh towards her had she suggested it at the beginning. Had she suggested implementing a piece of classical music into his street music work. But he didn’t now, now he accepted it, somewhat. He was still traumatised but unlike Akito and An he was healing.

It was bittersweet.

An smiled as she heard the roars of the crowd, this was nothing like the thrill of ‘Rad Weekend’ or the noise of it. It wasn’t anything close to the community formed, yet it was good. It was better than she expected, the crowd was hyped and a little tipsy, but they were excitable and engaging.

She loved it.

She unwrapped Kohane from her and began to jump up and down excitedly, directing Toya and Akito to where they were as she tried to get a better look at the crowd. The lights were everything she wanted and the people here was more than normal.

She was lost in the moment.

And then, people who were unable to capture the crowd came and An felt the energy being absorbed out of her and she stopped the jumping in happiness and let Kohane go near her again. Attach their hands as Akito, on his own, sauntered over.

He raised a brow at Kohane, before ignoring her presence and stood on the other side of An, two beers in hand. He offered one to her, which she took graciously and sipped a little bit of it before smiling slightly.

“You did good, but I could’ve done better,” she teased, clinking their beer bottles laughing to herself. “Especially at the drink choices because I thought you hated beer.”

“I hate the beer you drink,” he replied before slapping her arm. “You also could not have done better than Toya and I.”

“Just Toya? I’m surprised you didn’t call him your ‘beloved partner,’” she drawled, bringing Kohane closer, effectively putting her arm around her shoulder letting Kohane indulge herself in An’s rose perfume.

He shook his head and drank more of the ‘disgusting’ beer. “When you find a partner, you’ll know what its like Shirashi.”

“I’m going to take that as a challenge,” she countered, smiling cruelly before taking a deep drink of beer. “Where’s Toya?”

“He spotted a family friend backstage, wanted to speak to her,” Akito explained leaning against the wall behind them. “Why’s this one here?” he asked gesturing to Kohane with his beer bottle.

Kohane flushed under An’s arm at Akito’s less than welcoming question.

“Her friend’s performing here for the first time,” An answered for her as Kohane looked away and messed with cardigan.

“And how’d you wind up with her? I don’t remember you two exchanging numbers in her drunken haze.”

“She was at the café and I needed to apologise for the other night.”

“For giving her clothes and a bed?” Akito asked suspiciously as Toya walked over, four beers in hand.

“What are you two fighting over now? Oh, Azusawa, how are you? How’s your revision going?” Toya asked, placing the open beer bottles on the side next to Akito, this weird little wall ledge Kohane had failed to notice.

“Oh, its great, thank you Aoyagi-kun,” Kohane replied as Toya gestured a beer bottle in her direction and she shook her head. He smiled slightly before giving it to An -who had finished her beer- which she accepted graciously.

“I’m glad, it seemed very difficult,” he pointed out as Kohane nodded.

“The brain is a difficult thing to learn Aoyagi-kun,” she countered softly. “The hypothalamus is no different to anything else in the brain.”

“Big word,” An mumbled as Toya laughed. “How was your meeting with your friend?”

“Oh, it was good. Saki-san is still as energetic as ever, though I find them being here a bit off putting,” Toya replied as he watched the girls get on stage and get ready. “But I shouldn’t doubt them.”

“Why not?” Akito asked. He was always so defensive An noted, always so scared of new comers. Quick to question someone’s supposed talent or dismiss someone who didn’t fit his view point.

“Saki-san’s mother was a pianist,” Toya mentioned wistfully. “Plus, the grey haired girl is Hinomori Shizuku’s little sist-“

“The untalented one?” Akito asked as Kohane frowned next to An, staying silent whilst An rolled her eyes.

“She isn’t untalented,” An defended. “But her strongest suit isn’t singing, she was a made performer. Hence why drama is a natural choice for her, she is best with people and making people happy.”

“Okay, but that doesn’t make her talented when she sings-“

“I mean, she could be worse. Trust me on that,” An stated before Toya started to shush them since the brown haired one began to tap her drumsticks together and the black haired one began to sing.

She was powerful, a strong vocalist An realised. A different voice for the live bar to the point Akito was quiet and although her voice was prominent, the other members stuck out equally.

“The girl with grey hair is good,” Akito murmured. “Who’s that?”

“Hinomori Shiho,” Kohane replied softly as the other two shrugged. Akito looked to her and nodded as the song grew in power, the black haired girls voice becoming more pronounced.

“And that one is?” Toya asked Kohane politely, nodding to the girl in her black hat and blue guitar.

“Hoshino Ichika. The drummer is Mochizuki Honami and the keyboardist is Tenma Saki,” Kohane explained to Toya as the other two grew engrossed in the performance.

It wasn’t a strong song oddly enough, soft, but became strong when Ichika wanted it to be. When it needed to be. It was hooking.

They were so hooked they barely noticed Kohane singing along to the song softly. But Toya did, he heard her sing, “Kikoete iru nee,” alongside Ichika. An did too in the back of her mind but she wasn’t lucid to put it together that that was Kohane. ³

Until she turned to face Kohane and she was singing the chorus perfectly, her voice was soft like she expected but so unique. She was hooked. She was drunk.

Not from the beers, but on Kohane’s singing. She was perfect. An had never felt so sure on someone she had wanted to be her partner though many had tried such as Haruka. But she rejected them all, they never felt right. They were good and it hurt to reject talented people, but here she knew she had made the right choices in the past.

Just listening to Kohane sing along to the bridge, the vocal point, the part that even had Akito nodding his head appreciatively. Hearing Kohane sing that in a way that gave the talent on stage justice, she knew Kohane was her partner and would be her partner one way or another.

Although she didn’t know it at the time, although she wouldn’t admit it to herself. This was when Shirashi An had started to develop a crush on Kohane, no longer was she mildly intrigued by her. No longer did she desire to know about her because she was interesting and she wanted to know why she just felt that she had to.

No.

Shirashi An had been following fates whims and she was glad as the song came to an end and she heard Kohane’s soft voice fade out near enough perfectly. She wasn’t the best singer, but she could be. And An started to plan, lost in thought as Akito talked with Kohane (as nicely as he could muster) to ask if they had other songs and the like.

She was so lost in thought she failed to notice Toya’s knowing gleam as she held Kohane’s hand just a bit firmer causing her eyes to widen and her heart to race.

Shirashi An just wanted to get drunk on Kohane’s voice somehow, someway.

-

All good things must come to an end An supposed as she walked out with Akito, Toya, Kohane and Leo/Need. Each one of the Leo/Need girls buzzing with excitement, yet saying nothing as they looked to Kohane expectantly.

Interesting.

She was drunk now, but more lucid than either Toya and Akito from how they were stumbling.

The air was hot as they walked out onto the bright streets, she loved that about Vivid Street. When most places fell asleep, it was still as lively as ever. Shop owners were still selling, there were less street performers but that was because everyone tried getting into live houses or bars, depending on their age.

“You were good,” Toya stated as they moved away from the door, smiling at Saki proudly.

The blonde was a bundle of energy, she was infectious to be around, and made their little corner of the room lighter when tension grew between Akito and An. She also made Kohane laugh which An appreciated.

She remembered hearing this laughter at the first (eventful) party but was unable to pin point it as Kohane clammed up every time she laughed. An was about to make it her personal life mission to allow Kohane to be comfortable enough to laugh wherever.

Shiho was someone who seemed like Akito, brooding, passionate about music but caring over their friends deep down. This was shown with how she fussed over Saki constantly, more than Ichika and Toya but not as much as Honami. But that was fine, because she fussed about Kohane too who stayed under An’s arm before they went off to talk together.

Ichika was wonderful to talk to because of her natural talent and flare, something An admired and Honami was sweet and kind. Those two seemed more inclined to keep to themselves than talk to the others.

“Truly, a breath of fresh air,” An added, holding up Akito with Toya’s help. “You have great talent,” she said specifically to Ichika. “Sing in the streets here, all of you. Vivid Street needs something new.”

Ichika smiled softly, “I’ll think about it.”

Then an uncomfortable silence fell over the group until Honami yawned, “I guess this is good-bye,” Saki stated beaming at An and the two boys.

They all nodded as Kohane gave An a small wave as everyone else just nodded and turned around.

This was were An often hated the drunk her. Her impulsiveness was annoying but in this moment she agreed with her drunk, one track mind. She grasped Kohane’s hand, softly she didn’t want to harm her causing the girl to stop in her tracks.

Her hair at the front had started to fall forward and from behind her ear from the heat of the live bar and the jumping An had subjected her too during good performances. She tucked the blonde strands behind her ear before smiling softly, “I would like to see you again. Come to the café more often please.”

Kohane blinked as An held her hand like the slightest bit of pressure could make her break, maybe that was true emotionally but not physically. Yet, she appreciated the way An treated her as if she was the most precious thing to her. “I’ll think about it. Vivid Streets a bit of a hassle.”

“Then, can I have your number? And we can meet up wherever is easier for you, I enjoyed your presence today.”

You made Vivid Street truly vivid in a special way. You made my day. You made it unique. You made me happy. You’ve given me a reason to continue with music and be outgoing.

Kohane sighed softly, “Can I have your phone to put it in then?”

And An was unable to contain the pure exhilaration she felt as she passed her mobile to Kohane who swiftly added her number as Leo/Need were waiting for her. She passed it back to An, smiling softly before practically turning her back and running away as soon as An let her hand go.

She was offended though, she knew Kohane was a nervous person and this was progress in her mind. Her words were clearer whenever she spoke to An now.

A win. So An went home that night giddy and not from the beer in her body, coursing through her veins. As soon as she had started to walk home, she texted Kohane and was eagerly awaiting her response. Her musical talent and inclination thriving.

An was glad to have found her partner even if Kohane didn’t know it yet.

Kohane had overcomplicated the hypothalamus. Okay maybe it did contain three different regions each with their own functions plus multiple hormones that were produced.  She was content with it. Very content with going into excruciating depth on oxytocin, she was very content with labelling diagrams.

Kohane could do. She really had just over complicated the whole thing.

Well, the first part of it.

When looked deeper into it, which she had to, she realised she’d underestimated the hypothalamus and the hormones it produces.

Kohane frowned as she drank coffee in Weekend Garage, working at the bar intensely as she began to write an essay. The prompt was vague, similar to a song Minori blasted incessantly.

“Why have you got a frown?” An asked, standing in front of her at the bar, a soft smile on her face.

They had spoken a lot more than Kohane would like because she never had a chance to recover whenever An brought her close to death. She enjoyed her time with An, she thoroughly looked forward to it and craved her attention. She wanted An to look at her as if she was special, she never did. She wanted to be more than friends, than colleagues but Kohane was still the nervous wreck and would rather die than confess.

“Just my essay topic,” she answered going to take another mouthful of coffee from her cup.

An laughed as Kohane didn’t grasp anything due to her cleaning the cup next to her. It was so melodic. So perfect.

“What’s the topic?”

“Hormones and the biology of love. It borders more on psychology at this point, however...”

“You want to do it? Such a romantic, I feel like your future boyfriend would be very lucky to have you,” An muttered though Kohane heard something lying in her tone. But she said nothing as Kohane brought her a new cup of coffee.

“What if I don’t want a boyfriend?” Kohane asked, boldly for her. Turning away and typing furiously after the words had just spilled out.

An smiled to herself and began to stare at Kohane intently, “So there’s someone you like?”

Kohane blushed even more, “What do you mean by that? No. Never.” She stuttered terribly her heart hammering as she looked up, An just a hair length away from her face. Looking into her eyes deeply, observing every part of her.

“You’re a terrible liar,” she clucked.

“I’m not lying,” she protested as she began to draft her essay. Noting down the important hormones she needed to know and where they were produced from and how they worked.

An tapped the table, “God. You’re so mean. You’re my best friend, and you cannot be honest with me.” She teased relentlessly, looking if anyone she knew was there before she sat on the counter, her back to Kohane as looked down at her.

“And to think, I was going to ask you to be my singing partner-“

“You were what?” A female voice asked, it wasn’t Kohane who had just frozen. It was more mature, older and stern.

“Get off the table,” she scolded lightly as she came into view, a man following behind her whilst An smiled as if she could crack. It was the most dazzling smile Kohane had witnessed, it was officially her favourite thing.

“Auntie Nagi! Uncle Taiga!” she exclaimed jumping off the table and bounding right into them.

The two smiled as An gave each of them a tight hug. A very tight hug, as if she was scared they would disappear should she let go.

“Jesus Christ,” she huffed, returning the hug earnestly, ruffling An’s hair. It was a cute sight. One Kohane felt she was intruding on.

“Look at how grown you are now,” Taiga smiled, pulling her into an one armed hug. “Though...”

“Please don’t tell dad,” she begged, “I was just speaking with my friend.”

“You mean, your potential future singing partner,” Nagi corrected smiling over at Kohane who just froze up in fear. She held her hand out as she walked over to Kohane, “I’m An’s aunt Nagi.”

“It’s nice to meet you Nagi, I’m Azusawa Kohane,” she muttered, looking at the floor and away from Nagi.

“You have your work cut out if you want her to be your partner,” Nagi stated. It wasn’t cruel, it was blunt. Factual.

“Okay, and we’ll do it together. So long as Kohane agrees of course,” An defended, her will was strong. This wasn’t a random whim. An was determined and it was not a passing thought.

But Kohane seemed unmoved by An’s determination, instead focusing on her essay that was becoming more of a psychology essay than a biology one. Tapping away at the keys absentmindedly as conversation grew around her.

“And do you agree?” Taiga asked Kohane who looked up from her computer, gulped and looked away.

“I don’t think I’m good enough to stand on a stage with An. That’s for someone with talent. Besides, I don’t have any dreams really to do with music,” Kohane justified.

“Then what are your dreams?” Nagi asked, interested in the blonde.

Kohane frowned and shrugged lightly, she never thought about the future. When she did her heart clenched, her gut twisted and she felt unable to breathe. She didn’t know what they were.

“To graduate,” she answered simply. There was nothing more for Kohane.

Maybe supporting An and Shiho and Minori was a dream of hers. That was a good possibility. But that meant nothing if they didn’t want her in their lives so she never wanted to dwell on the idea. She was just going to live in the moment and not care about the future.

“Small goals,” Nagi stated as she peered at Kohane’s laptop. “Psychology?”

“Biology,” An corrected as Taiga hummed, pleased with the fact. “She’s very smart, since the start of university Kohane has always been mentioned alongside other smart people such as Asahina Mafuyu. There’s not a day since I’ve known her when she hasn’t revised.”

“And how long is that?”

“Three months and five days,” An stated with full confidence.

“I’m very concerned with how you know that Shirashi,” Akito stated as he and Toya entered the café. “Ah, Nagi, Taiga,” he greeted politely, his voice less deadpan and rude.

The two adults laughed as they pulled the boys into hugs each, smiling proudly at them. Taiga ruffling Akito’s hair fondly and Nagi fussing over Toya immensely. An started to laugh besides Kohane as she took a seat at the barstool. It was dead still, well in this section at least, she could sit with Kohane and rest.

“Why are you concerned with Shirashi knowing that? You know she likes Azusawa more than us,” Toya continued absentmindedly as An flushed red. This in turn led to Nagi and Taiga observing the two closely and their interactions.

“I mean that much is obvious if she wants Kohane to be her singing partner,” Nagi added on causing the two boys to jump in shock.

“You want her to be your partner?!”

“Azusawa? As your partner?!” they both exclaimed simultaneously, Akito looking Kohane up and down as she shifted in her seat from the intensity of his gaze whilst Toya watched her warily and shrugged.

“Why? You have a problem with that Shinonome?” An asked defensively, standing up and getting close to Akito’s face.

“I thought you wanted to do an event better than Rad Weekend, yet...” he trailed off looking at Kohane who had closed her laptop, her hands fidgeting as she debated whether holding An back or not.

“And, if she agrees, Kohane and I can do it. I don’t know why you’re all so pressed over me possibly finding my partner who hasn’t actually agreed to this yet!” An yelled back as Kohane gripped her hand and stood up behind her, leaning on her back.

“You’re embarrassing-“

“I’m embarrassing! Me! Are you for fucking real? I’ll fucking-“

“Enough,” Toya snapped, coming between the two, pulling Akito back as Kohane gently tugged An back. Nagi and Taiga sighing deeply as the whole café fell silent causing Ken to rush over, a headache pre-emptively forming.

“Nagi you deal with-“

“I got it,” the woman sighed as Ken and Nagi led An away from Akito with Kohane following like a lost puppy.

-

Kohane sighed as she sat in the park with An, it was late now, the sun had set and the girl was still angry and seething. None of the adults had been able to diffuse the situation, instead each one made it worse and Kohane didn’t know when or how Akito and An had stormed off, going their own way. But the two had causing Toya and her to race after their own partner respectively.

Well.

They weren’t partner’s, her and An, yet at least. She had been thinking about it and seeing the way An was passionate about it, she just had to prove her right. She felt guilty for this fight, though all the adults had reassured her as she packed up that this was normal, meaning she had to fix it.

But she was going to tell An just yet, not as she held a can of spray paint and was speaking to Mizuki fast. Not angrily, her temper had died down but it was a silent rage.

“Okay, I get it- No. I know he’s your brother-in-law but Mizu- Come on~~~ just for tonight- Because I’ll kill him and your girlfriend will have to attend her brother’s funeral and you wouldn’t like that.” She argued down the phone, fixing the star clips as Kohane was still typing.

She might have accidentally changed her essay prompt because of this. She was undecided admittedly as she continued to tap away at the keys, An was just a background sound to her.

She enjoyed today despite the anger. An had taken her to new place’s on Vivid Street and given her more backstory on her dad and the others as they visited CD shops and more. She loved it even if An’s smile was less happy as she sighed every so often and turned away from people who were giving her the opportunity to sing. So unlike her.

“I’m sorry about today. And the fact that I sprung the fact I want you to be my singing partner, I wanted to ask you differently admittedly. Let you sing with me and then ask you, but well, the universe had different plans,” she apologised, sitting on the stairs next to Kohane, taking her hand off her laptop. Holding it and rubbing her thumb over the skin staring straight into Kohane’s eyes.

“I also wanted to introduce you to Aunt Nagi and Uncle Taiga differently,” she continued on a sombre note. Her voice no longer containing that happy value Kohane loved, that she was addicted to.

“You don’t have to apologise, I should apologise for making you and Shinonome fight,” Kohane rebutted closing her laptop as it began to die from not being near a charger for a long time.

“We always fight Akito and I,” An stated. “Done it since high school and since he wanted to be better than dad. It’s usually friendly though because when I’m in trouble, he drops everything to help me. Don’t take it too seriously. We just both need time to cool off.”

“Are you getting that time?”

“I’ll stay with dad for the night, my room above the café is still there. I just can’t work late or drink, but I need to cut back on that anyway,” she shrugged softly, still playing with Kohane’s hand. “We should get you home. You’ve been hard at work all day, besides, Shiho is probably worried about you-“

“She won’t mind, she’s not my mum. Shiho’s just used to doting over people I guess,” Kohane shrugged. “Besides I wanted to talk to you about being... partners and what that would entail.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I know I don’t. But I want to know before I make a decision, because I cannot shove aside my education for this and I don’t want to be...”

“Uncomfortable? I gathered that. Hence why I was going to wait, a long time honestly, before I asked you,” An sighed. “The best thing to be would be to try and sing together. A duet of some sort because I heard you sing when we were watching Shiho and friends, you have such a beautiful voice and I think we would work well together. But practice and confirmation never hurts.” She justified, pulling Kohane up slowly and carefully.

“Where can we do that? I’m not a singer much...”

“The café. I need to speak to dad anyway and I doubt either Aunt Nagi or Uncle Taiga would refuse to drop you off. Unless you really don’t want to do this-“

“It’s fine. I’m... okay,” Kohane reassured though it was half assed. She wasn’t perfectly fine with it but there was no crowd, just An and her musically inclined family.

Her heart clenched in fear at the thought, but she had already agreed and couldn’t yank her hand out of An’s grip with her happy face as she moved with vigour. Excitedly waving ‘hello’ to everyone, her teal jacket flying with the speed she was going as her hair hit Kohane repeatedly in the face.

No.

Kohane could not ruin or pass up this opportunity.

An opened the door to the café, no one was there. It was quiet and dark and the stage was calling her. God. An truly was born to be a star with the way she naturally gravitated to the microphone and the stage. With the way she picked up a custom microphone and passed Kohane a plain one, from how she went to the song stand and looked to Kohane.

“What song do you want to sing? We can’t do a Leo/Need song because I don’t know them like that nor do I have the instrumentals but we have some vocaloid songs. If you like them that is,” An rambled, her excitement visible and fuck did Kohane love it. She wanted to waltz over and cradle her cheek and kiss her, but she couldn’t largely because they weren’t together and because Kohane was scared.

She could feel her limbs shaking.

“Do you- Do you have ‘Drop Pop Candy’ there?” She asked listing the first song she thought of at the top of her head.

An nodded as she found the karaoke version, “You know the lyrics?”

“Enough.”

An smiled surely as she walked to Kohane and adjusted her glasses. Kohane flushed again and turned away as the music began and grew louder. She began to sing, away from An and her intrigued stare.

But An never let her get too far before she threw her arm over Kohane’s shoulder and brought her back, before leaning over her other shoulder and smiling at her. Her lips so close to Kohane’s cheek she wanted to scream and die.

She didn’t though and stayed strong, well as strong as she could muster. Releasing herself from An’s hold and walking away from the girl who pouted and laughed at her reactions, smiling so wide that Kohane thought she had become the Cheshire cat. A wonderful and dangerous grin.

But, looking back, Kohane thought it to be all knowing with how her and An sang the next part together. Their voices in total and utter harmony even when far away, even when Kohane had looked away from An’s grin crumbling under the weight of how much Kohane wanted to kiss her. They were in complete and utter sync during the song.

And Kohane wanted to savour the moment, she was still hesitant. She knew she’d have to practice a lot. That she’d have to get better to even be able to stand on a stage with An, both with her nerves and her singing. But she wanted to. Craved to be stood next to An singing songs, maybe it was covers like this or songs An had written herself, Kohane wasn’t fussed on the details. She just wanted. No. Needed this moment to never end and stay forever and ever and ever until she grew so drunk on it she ruined her lungs and brain and died. Even then, she would never forget it. Not in the slightest.

And that bliss was perfect for them, for the two of them failed to notice the three adults watching them carefully. With Nagi giving Taiga money as they had made a bet on whether or not An was correct in her choice of partner. Taiga had won saying she was because seeing An be free and without drinking and enjoying to sing again was the most satisfying moment of Ken’s life as he watched their partner work.

-

Kohane near enough collapsed by the end of the song, breathing heavily as An just stared at her as if she was the most precious and wondrous person in her life. It was a shame that she was doing that as Kohane felt like she was about to die.

Her lungs felt like they were on fire, consuming her from the inside out whilst her heart hammered. They weren’t even doing much exercise, just dancing around the café together, maybe jumping occasionally but Kohane was beat. Her legs were shaking as An came over, booping her nose and teasing her lightly.

“You’re cute, do you know that?” An asked so close to Kohane’s face she momentarily stopped breathing.

An frowned before backing away, “Do you have asthma or something? Lung issues?”

“No! No. No,” Kohane breathed, it was the loudest she had heard her voice go in a while and she winced at the sound. “I just. I haven’t done much exercise since university, most of my time is spent revising and such. So, I just need to get my breath back momentarily and then I’ll be right as rain,” she wheezed out.

“If you’re going to be my partner we need to fix that, I can’t have you dying on me, you’re my most precious friend,” An reasoned as Kohane shook her head.

“What about Akito or Toya or Minori’s girlfriend?” Kohane asked, trying to take the pressure and weight of the words off her mind. Trying to make An see clearly and realise the intensity of what she was saying nonchalantly.

“Minori’s girlfriend?”

“The short, wavy, blue haired one-“

“Haruka? They’re dating? No way!” An exclaimed as went around the store making Kohane a cup of hot chocolate.

“I think at least. Minori keeps coming back to the flat all giddy about her and attends parties with her, though she isn’t fond of them,” Kohane explained as An walked back to the table she was now sat at (properly) with two cups of hot chocolate.

“Minori or Haruka?”

“Haruka. I think it’s because it improves relations that Minori manages to drag her to them,” Kohane explained sipping the drink happily.

She liked this.

She loved it actually.

She loved sitting across from An, so close yet so far and talking about mindless gossip and absolute nonsense. They had done that a few times whenever An needed a break from school and Kohane had no one in her flat. Most often, they talked about school but Kohane had heard some good things about An’s friends and vice-versa.

Such as, Kohane had helped Ichika in the arrangement for Ryuusei no pulse. Or how An had modelled for one of Mizuki’s outfits and it became university gossip as everyone thought An had eloped. She hadn’t as An never fell in love before, or so she claimed.

“How is your essay going?” An asked filling the comfortable silence with something.

That was something Kohane had noticed, An was not content with silence. Ever. She loathed it even if she never admitted it. She always had to have some sound or at least be active in her mind and not just doing absolutely nothing facing a friend.

“Don’t even get me started,” Kohane sighed. “I’ll fine tune my idea’s more tomorrow though. I think I want to change it.”

An raised a brow, “You? My cute little Kohane who has all of her school work planned meticulously, never making a mistake in the planning of how she would achieve what she wanted? You want to fine tune and change your idea? Who are you and what have you done to my Kohane?”

“Your Kohane?” she countered her heart skipping a beat at the idea of being An’s. It was a nice feeling.

“Mine!” An confirmed with vigour. There was no doubt in her mind about Kohane. She was certain and when An was certain, it was probably true. And by probably, it would become true.

“You’re like a child,” Kohane stated absent-mindedly before her eyes widened and she bit her lip as it had dawned on her what she had said.

An huffed indignantly and flicked Kohane’s hand that was just resting in the middle of the table reaching for something.

“A child? Really? You’ve met Akito and you call me a child?”

“Yes.”

“Kohane! You’re my partner though, my favourite person. You cannot be serious about this!”

“But I am-“

“I swear to God-“

-

Kohane woke up the next day with cheeks that were in absolute pain and to a wonderful message from An detailing how she wanted Kohane to have a great sleep. Then An’s random thoughts she would forward onto Akito in the morning after they had both cooled down, Kohane’s messages were just used as ‘easy and convenient storage’.

She smiled to herself, texted An good morning and began to work on breakfast. Shiho had a late night as her and Ichika were writing a new song and it was more complex than anything they had done before and Shiho being the perfectionist she was needed to perfect it. And, for once, Minori was not a party but instead had been studying as she had a test today. Although, she was likely to oversleep it knowing her bad luck.

Kohane had a lot of time last night, during her haze of giddiness to think. Shockingly, she had less time in her life to think of herself outside of work nowadays, this was a much needed thing. She thought about her essay for a large chunk of the time, debating what topics she could do. She was still continuing with the hypothalamus and it’s many emotional hormones in the end. But it would focus less on love, although that was the most interesting part of the hypothalamus.

She also spent her time deciding on whether or not to be An’s partner. It wouldn’t fit with her current schedule, but she could change that if she chugged ten gallons of coffee a week. That was feasible. But, she would have to fix her nerves something Kohane would rather die than do.

Singing with An was only possible as she had the biggest crush on her known to man. If An wasn’t, well, An then Kohane would’ve never sang with her and enjoyed her time.

God.

Enjoyment. She had felt that in a long time either.

She frowned to herself as she flipped the pancakes she had made, plating them up for herself before she walked to wake Minori off. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

-

An sighed as she walked into the house, the lights were on so they were both awake. She knew it as she had texted Toya letting him know about her return, she hadn’t let Akito know directly. She never wanted to anger him more after they had fought.

“Morning,” Akito grumbled as she entered the kitchen. He looked at her once before looking away. “Toya made you food.”

She nodded before looking to Akito. “Are we just going to pretend-“

“No... I’m sorry for being an asshole about Azusawa, if you want her to be your partner knock yourself dead,” he apologised although it sounded rehearsed. Very rehearsed.

“I appreciate it, and I’m sorry for getting angry at you over it. I know you’re just looking out for me and my dream with your big ego,” she teased good naturedly before she became serious. “But I’m not the only person you need to apologise to. You know that, right?”

Akito looked up from his phone and straight at An who was staring him down. “What’s so special about her? Everyone will eat her alive.”

An rolled her eyes, “You’re just blinded by your need to succeed and ego. She’s very special.”

“She’s just a future doctor, do you think she can spare the time to, what would be in her mind, childish dreams?”

“Did you think Toya with his strict dad would find the time to meet up with you? Did you think dad would practically take you both in and treat you both as if you two were his own? Or did you take the risk because you just knew deep down you had to?”

“Fair enough, but are you giving up on hosting an event better than Rad Weekend.”

“Never,” An answered quickly and strongly. “I promised dad I’d do it someday. And I will, even if... even if Kohane isn’t on the journey with me like I want her to be. I’ll do it myself if I have to.”

Akito looked at her before standing up, he had class today if she remembered right. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, like the brother he was before sighing heavily.

“Just, for the love of God An, don’t hurt yourself with this girl,” he warned, not even waiting for a response before he walked away. Picking up his gym bag and leaving An alone with her thoughts.

He was wrong and An knew that because she knew she was more likely to hurt Kohane in this journey than the other way around. But she appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.

#

Kohane was hesitant as she stood outside of Shizuku’s room, Minori in toe, bouncing excitedly as Kohane wanted to be sick. She was absolutely scared but she knew she had to do it, even if An disagreed.

Akito was right, everyone would eat her up alive. She needed the old Kohane gone and Shizuku might help her, as well as Shiho. She needed to be brave.

Kohane and An were backstage, this was a momentous occasion. An had never announced she had a partner, preferring to keep Kohane secret even though all of Vivid Street had an inclination that they were something. Many thought of them as lovers much to Kohane’s delight, others as good friends.

You couldn’t win everything in life she supposed.

This was her first live bar, her first event. Singing in the café with An in private didn’t count. Nor did singing in front of Shiho and Minori. They weren’t crowds of hundreds of unnamed faces with unnamed personalities who would judge her very quickly if she fucked up because she was stood next to the star herself.

An seemed fine though, she didn’t seem hesitant. Just running through the song multiple times, practicing the basic dance they had (which was only basic much to An’s disappointment as their tri-weekly gym sessions did not make Kohane fit as fast as she wanted) and smiling at the staff the whole while.

Whilst Kohane stayed in a corner, her voice hoarse, her hands shaking and everyone judged her. No one glanced over her like they did with An, no one became mesmerised with her like they did with An. She was insignificant.

An undeserving little ant.

“Breathe,” An had stated, walking over to Kohane, hand on her shoulder smiling down beautifully. Dragging Kohane from her thoughts and back to this moment. Back to An right now.

“There she is, my Kohane,” she beamed causing Kohane to smile. Only a little. “We’re going to smash this.” She declared confidently causing people to scoff as they found Kohane.

“And you two better had,” Akito interrupted, coming off the stage and squeezing An’s shoulder.

“There’s a lot of people out there,” Toya agreed finishing Akito’s train of thought for the girls. An seemed undetermined though, her will was resolute as ever.

“That’s nothing,” she brushed aside as Kohane fell ill. She wanted to double down and be sick.

“Really? Because she doesn’t look too good,” Akito pointed out, gesturing to Kohane.

“She’ll be fine. Right, Kohane?” An insisted as Kohane tried to nod her head. The words she wanted to speak were being trapped by her throat.

“Everyone is going to eat her alive,” Akito stated not even looking at her by this point. “You best know what you’re doing. Whether its your dream or...”

“I’ll prove it to you I can have both things Shinonome, I can achieve my dream with Kohane by my side. Just you watch,” An promised as the director raced around asking for the Vivids to be ready as they were up next.

Akito could only sigh before grumbling to Toya who smiled at them both kindly, his subtle way of wishing them luck before pulling Akito out of the area for artists and into the sea of people.

And Kohane could feel her nerves get worse. Everyone here looked cool, like they could fit in. She seemed like a nervous rabbit that An had kidnapped and held at gun point to do this. She wasn’t anything like them and she realised it when her and An had entered. Their hands splitting apart and the crowd roared for An yet fell absolutely silent as she entered.

They were judging her, not so subtly. Everyone was focused on her and not An and her star power, not An and the way she commanded a crowd. For once, Shirashi An was not subjected to the eyes of everyone on Vivid Street.

It was Kohane.

The music seemed to quiet for once, it seemed so empty and Kohane felt alone as she had to start the song. The pressure to capture the audience fell onto her.

The outsider.

The new meat with the soft cute voice.

And so she sang, she was quiet. A whisper in the howling wind, unable to be heard as An began her part, flashing a look of confusion to Kohane.

Kohane didn’t give up though even if she knew her entrance was lackluster and that she was contributing to what the people knew about her. To their thoughts and their right predictions.

Fuck.

She could do this in the café, in front of Leo/Need, in front of Minori’s friends. She had done it in front of Toya accidentally once, why when she needed to be brave most could Kohane not do the song.

Forward was an easy song, one of An’s easiest as Kohane still wasn’t the best with singing. Though she was improving according to Ken and Nagi when they had stumbled on them practicing alone, a gleam in their eyes as they watched the two.

But, Kohane couldn’t see the improvement. All she felt was a crashing wave of failure and disappointment and she loathed it.

She couldn’t breathe. But she pressed forward, she had to with everyone watching.

She had to when An needed her. She couldn’t leave An to save the show because she was pathetic Azusawa Kohane, not fit for this life. She had to fight for An because if An fought for her, she had to pay it back in kind. That she was sure of.

So Kohane finished the song with An, her voice had become louder and stronger. She saw a few approving nods, though they were far and few between. But she knew she had failed with how Akito scoffed to Toya in the back and how everyone back stage judged her.

For once, the live bar was silent and as much as Kohane hated noise. She hated this silence even more.

-

Kohane had blinked and something had escalated with Akito and An. They were fighting terribly over her and she just sat on the street crying.

They were too loud and it was too much.

She had known she was a disappointment, she didn’t need An to deny it. To pretend Kohane was the best performer ever and everyone else was delusional, no, she needed An to accept it and she wouldn’t. She just couldn’t and it was killing Kohane.

She had tried her hardest, that she could say with full sincerity. But her hardest wasn’t enough, she was dragging An down and away from her dreams of being better than her dad. Better than her family. For making a name as Shirashi An, not Shirashi An the daughter of Shirashi Ken. An was destined to be a star.

Her whole motif was stars and what was Kohane? A girl with no dreams who never studied music properly and focused on biology instead. They were incompatible. Their aspirations were conflicting interests and she couldn’t watch An burn herself over it, burn her bridges with Akito as the fight grew sour. Grew colder.

She could no longer see the sibling love they possessed for one another, it was pure venom and disappointment on both sides whilst Toya had tried to stop the situation from escalating, looking to Kohane who just cried. She couldn’t help it. She didn’t know what to do and the guilt was immense.

God.

She wished she had never went to that party and met Shirashi An otherwise she would’ve been at home revising herself to death and she much preferred that option that whatever this was. Than destroying what was a family it seemed.

And so she ran, her adrenaline kicked in as her chest felt heavy and she ran. Hearing another scoff from Akito as the fighting became louder as she tried to find her way back to her flat, tears clattering against the pavement on her way.

-

Kohane didn’t move from the floor as Minori had instantly suggested a sleepover upon seeing her tear stained face.

She was immobile. Just staring at the ceiling as the other two argued over movies. By this point, she would’ve been the mediator. Sorted them out but Kohane felt drained. She couldn’t do that. She just felt dead.

She had failed An.

That was what hurt the most admittedly. She had failed An entirely. She couldn’t even look at the messages she had sent, opting to have Shiho mute her  before she drove herself insane.

Shiho frowned looking at the sad, mopping mess she was. Feeling pity for her before sitting on the floor beside her.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked simply, no coddling or beating around the bush the way Minori did. If Shiho knew there was something wrong with her friends, she discovered it. She would not rest until it was sorted out, she was impulsive in that sense.

“I performed with An tonight,” Kohane began, her lip wobbling as she was about to start sobbing again. “I thought it would be fine. But then, we got backstage and I felt sick with nerves and fear and it only got worse and- Oh God Shiho it was humiliating. I’ve ruined An’s chances at surpassing her dad, no one will take her seriously now.”

Minori sighed, her eyes welling as she felt Kohane’s overwhelming sadness. The pure and utter sympathy she felt for her whilst Shiho scoffed and slapped her arm. “Are you serious Kohane? You’re beating yourself up over a hypothetical,” Shiho declared. “Where has your scientist mind gone?”

“It disappeared when I realised I had a crush on her and I’d do whatever for her,” she cried. “Fuck. I might’ve ruined her family relationship with Akito. I’ve ruined her chance at being better than her dad. I’ve fucked up.”

“Love is so disgusting,” Shiho grumbled before flicking her and yanking her to a sitting position. “Get yourself together. You fucked up once, so what. Clearly An wants you around if she’s still texting you-“

“And Haruka asking her to ask me how you are,” Minori interrupted much to Shiho’s annoyance.

“See? She doesn’t feel like you fucked up. She still wants to be with you, to sing with you, to go on stage with you. To make her dreams come true,” Shiho emphasised as Minori nodded.

“Haruka agrees. Since Rad Weekend happened, An had been enthralled with the idea apparently. It became her sole goal and dream, something she never shared with anyone,” Minori continued, reading Haruka’s texts and interpreting them. “Everyone wanted to be An’s partner, even in this university, it was just that Mizuki, Akito and Toya had made everyone give up because it was never going to happen.”

“Until you,” Shiho finished, wiping away Kohane’s tears. “Until An decided that one of the smartest students in the school would be her partner for some God forsaken reason.”

“Especially after she decided to go to a party, get drunk and had to sleep in her bed,” Minori continued earning a half assed laugh from Kohane.

She was fond of An. She loved her. She was fond of their memories but scared of the failure, scared of the people.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Shiho muttered shaking her head. “But, I think An would be proud of you for getting on that stage. The blushing, quiet and shy mess you were in comparison to who you are now? You’ve grown and she’s behind it.”

“And not my research on the hypothalamus-“ Kohane tried to joke as both girls groaned.

“This is why we stopped having sleepovers often,” Minori groaned as she realised they would have to listen to Kohane mumble about different hormones and their effects.

“That made everyone suicidal,” Shiho deadpanned but there was a ghost of a smile on her face, a twinge of happiness in her eyes as she held onto Kohane. “Regardless, if you’re passionate about this for An. Don’t give up. You can’t give up.” And Minori nodded along whilst Kohane felt unburdened.

She couldn’t speak to An. Not now. Not ever. Well not ever, she knew she’d find her way back to her. But right now she wanted to forget about her as she figured herself out as she figured out her dream.

Though she had realised it when she had drifted to sleep, Minori clinging to her and Shiho snoring on the couch. Only then did she figure it out.

-

Kohane shouldn’t be here. She knew she shouldn’t be here, but she had to be. She had to take the risk.

It had been three weeks since she had began to ignore An. But that would end today. It had to end today. She was killing herself with her workload because she didn’t have An as something to fill up the time and she missed her.

She knew she would since that fateful evening and that dream. That haunting dream.

She had to wake up and face the music. Face the reality she had made and delaying that was futile. The more she delayed it, the more likely Kohane was to run away.

And she couldn’t do that now. She had made too many changes to herself to allow for that.

So she swung open the door, smelling the coffee she had grown used to. She felt at home as she heard An sing at the front, but it sounded empty. As if An was doing it because she had to and not because she wanted to like she always did want to. It was hollow and empty.

She flashed a half smile to Ken who blinked as he looked at her. She didn’t look that different now, did she?

He smiled back at her though, removing the twist in her gut as she walked to the counter. He didn’t seem upset. He didn’t seem angry, he seemed as nice and as understanding as ever.

“Kohane,” he greeted, smiling at her as he watched her closely. Her smile became more free as she heard the lack of hostility in his voice. “The usual?”

“Yes please,” she replied, getting her card out to pay for the coffee.

“How are you doing kid?” He asked, as the coffee granules were brewing and Kohane was stood there, trying to hide from An’s view.

“I’m good Mr Shirashi.”

“Call me Ken Kohane.”

“I don’t deserve that,” she mumbled looking at An before looking away.

Ken tutted, “You came back for her. Pushed yourself out of your comfort zone for her, and you don’t deserve my kindness?”

Kohane nodded as Ken shook his head finishing off her coffee. “You know, she waited for you a lot right. Kept begging Toya to know if you were in the library every time he entered,” Ken stated looking at An who seemed very down. “She’ll welcome you back with open arms. Trust me.”

“Mr Shirashi, I... I failed her.”

He shook his head, “You made her so proud. She was chattering to Nagi and Taiga about you constantly with every bit of improvement you made. She was proud of the fact you agreed to get into the live bar knowing how much you had on your plate. Unlike the rest of them, they’re all music students. This works for them but you’re a scientist and you did something for her in your own time dedicated to revising.”

Kohane blushed and looked away, looking info the coffee before sighing as An was finishing her act. He nudged her over the counter and directed his head to her. “She’s on break, go into the backroom and you’ll catch her,” he directed as everyone clapped for An who was polite and smiled to everyone but it wasn’t the smile Kohane fell in love with them.

She took a deep breathe in, she wanted to, no, she needed to do it. She smiled to Ken and tried to follow after An sneakily but she was never good at that. An always knew and she realised this when the door had closed and An was already facing her, tears welling and Kohane was left confused.

-

An couldn’t breathe. It was as if she was seeing a ghost, but it wasn’t the same Kohane that had ran away. She was different.

She had lost the glasses, opting for contact lenses instead. Her hair was short now much to An’s dismay and her style had changed. She was now wearing a cap and a baseball jacket over a crop top and a denim skirt with a belt.

She was gorgeous as ever.

She had changed so much, yet so little. She was still hesitant to close the gap and An wanted her to. An wanted her to try it and finish the space between them. She didn’t like to chase, she never had and when she had she had fallen irreversibly and she didn’t want to.

Well she did, An knew in every life she would fall in love with Kohane again without a shadow of a doubt. They were connected they had to be as An didn’t know when her solo dream suddenly had to be with Kohane and no one else. She couldn’t avoid not being with her eternally and-

She was distracted from her thoughts by Kohane flinging herself at her, uncomposed. Unlike her, yet An could tell it was her. It was an action from Kohane herself showing her sincerity about the whole situation.

“I missed you,” she breathed before pulling away not even allowing An to bask in her hold. She playing with her hands as she looked to An, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry about messing up the other night, I’m sorry about now. And I’m sorry for running because I thought I ruined your dream. Your dream that was so strong I don’t know when it became my dream.”

“I want to be with you, as your partner forever and as something more if you’ll have me. But even if you won’t, I want to get on that stage and make fans to the point that everyone adores us and we put on the best event people will have ever seen. Your dream is mine and I’ll try my hardest to fulfil it because I love you Shirashi An.”

“I’ve always had a crush on you but it was one of admiration, my brain was producing so many hormone I was unable to tell the difference entirely. And then you helped me out and then we talked and at one point I kept looking at your lips and wishing we’d kiss. That we would close the gap and I mean it truly. I adore you truly and, I doubt you’ll have me back more but-“

And An couldn’t stop herself, she reached forward and cupped Kohane’s face leaned down and kissed her passionately.

An was drunk and high and disoriented as she felt Kohane reciprocate. She might’ve been dreaming. She had to be. But yet she could smell Kohane’s orange perfume, she could feel her hands around her neck, her feet on her own as she boosted herself up.

How was this real? An had to be dreaming but she wasn’t when Kohane had pulled away, both of them gasping for air as An stroked Kohane’s cheek adoringly.

She didn’t need to say a word.

Silence was all they needed and for once, An adored it. She usually hated it but in this moment she loved it, she loved Kohane hugging her as if she was scared she would disappear but An wouldn’t. She couldn’t.

And in this moment, they knew collectively that they would achieve their dream together somehow between juggling school and juggling life they would do it. But the Vivids would not fail. They would succeed and everyone would forget Rad Weekend.