Work Text:
Bad news
Everyone has covid except me
shit fr??
Yeeeeah so we’re not throwing
Where we goin then?
Okay, I know it’s kinda weird but a hot bi chick I’m tryna get with in my class said she’s going to Touch Tank
Never heard of it
FR???
Don’t look it up
Just trust me
But it’s themed, so you have to wear a costume
????
K
Pregame @ yy and hendery’s
See you there
“Why aren’t we just going to fucking D Sig?”
“Cause we’re not fucking freshman.”
“But still, a-”
“Shhh, Mark doesn’t know!”
“What?” Mark asks, setting down his beer on the porch banister.
Yangyang and Jeno turn to him. “Nothing, man,” Jeno says, eyeing Yangyang.
“I’m not gonna say shit,” Yangyang defends.
Mark shakes his head. “Y’all are being weirder than usual.”
Hendery walks outside, holding shots for all of them. “Drink up, I’m not paying $16 for a fucking cocktail.”
“Oh, so it’s a bougie bar,” Mark figures. “So what?”
“Yeah, so what?” Yangyang mocks.
Jeno takes a shot from Hendery. “Just fucking drink.”
Mark grabs his shot glass. They slam them down on the pong table together, and knock them back.
Hendery growls. “I’ll pour another round.”
“Damn, this place is popular,” Mark says in line, looking back at the people behind them. They’re all dressed incredibly well for a costume party in March. They’ve really committed, chains and harnesses and lingerie and latex surrounding him.
“Yeah, I don’t know how you never heard about it, man,” Jeno says.
Yangyang giggles. “Mark is sheltered.”
“Am not,” Mark scoffs.
“No, Daddy sheltered you,” Hendery argues, arm landing on Jeno’s shoulder. “He locked you away in his frat for so long.”
Jeno swats Hendery’s hand away. “Daddy didn’t do anything. Mark just actually focuses on school, unlike you.”
“Also, I’m older than Jeno,” Mark defends.
“That has nothing to do with him being your Daddy,” Yangyang scolds.
Mark is going to ask what does make Jeno his Daddy when he realizes they’re at the front of the line. He gets his ID out of his wallet. “Cover is 10,” The bouncer tells him.
“Oh, shit, cover?” Mark asks. “I didn’t bring cash.”
“I’ve got you, Mark,” Jeno says, handing the bouncer a $20.
“Thanks, bro.”
Yangyang snorts. “Daddy strikes again.”
They’re ushered inside.
Mark struggles to get oriented, he’s feeling so dissociated from the booze. Red lights are flashing into his eyes, and people are already packing in. He feels tousled in the crowd as Yangyang and Hendery immediately make a break for the dance floor.
“I’m gonna find my friend,” Jeno shouts in his ear. “You’ll be okay?”
Mark nods, hoping he doesn’t look too intimidated. He must put on a convincing act because Jeno trusts him to the lovingly dangerous hands of Yangyang and Hendery.
Mark looks around as they guide him. Okay, there’s the bar. Here’s the dance floor.
It’s different, from the frat or other clubs he’s been to where most people stand around or just do a little synchronized jumping. People here are really committing.
Hendery and Yangyang join in effortlessly. Mark awkwardly nods his head along. He doesn’t even recognize the music. It sounds like remixed pop songs, but nothing from the radio.
Hendery hits his shoulder. “Loosen up, Mark!”
Mark starts laughing. He isn’t really sure why. Loosen up. Okay.
He gets into the song, starts jumping along with Yangyang and Hendery, and vaguely moves his arm to the beat. He just feels awkward. He didn’t drink enough.
“Hey, where’s the bathroom?” He asks.
“Downstairs, I think,” Yangyang responds, pointing. “Don’t get lost.”
Mark does get lost. Because you have to go downstairs, and then there’s another set of stairs. Which confuses him. But finally he finds the bathrooms, the doors thrown open as people move in and out and loiter at the mirrors. He walks into the men’s room, which is busy with people, most guys, but some girls, and some people Mark thinks aren’t really either.
This place has no rules, He thinks.
He goes quickly, and fights his way to a sink. He tries to keep his eyes cast down, avoiding looking at anyone.
When he walks out, he sees lights flashing down the hall. There’s a whole second club down here. It’s less crowded, the music quieter and groovier. A survey of the crowd reveals what this area is mostly used for, as people stand together making out or eyeing each other like they would like to be making out. He’s about to turn around, when he sees her.
He knows from being forced to watch it by an ex-girlfriend that the plaid yellow mini skirt and matching blazer is a reference to Cher, from Clueless. Alicia Silverstone is hot, of course, but she doesn’t really compare to this. This girl’s skirt is just barely long enough to cover her butt, stopping right at the top of her slim thighs where white socks are pulled up to.
But it’s not even really those things that catch Mark’s attention.
It’s more how she’s dancing. Eyes closed, mouth upturned in a smirk. She moves her arms up to run through her short blonde hair. Mark secretly has a thing for girls with short hair. If Jeno saw him staring right now, he would probably say, “Not again. Remember what happened last time?” and Mark would ignore him.
Because, God. The way she rolls her body to the music is so… loosened up. And her hips are… Moving back against some guy standing behind her, holding a hand on her waist. Mark looks up at his face. He’s a handsome guy, but his eyes are roaming everywhere around the room. If Mark had a girl like this in his arms, he wouldn’t be looking anywhere else.
He can’t look anywhere else. He feels himself pulled. He sits down at the small bar, unable to do anything but watch her neck turn up in some kind of ecstasy.
The guy with her whispers something in her ear. She stops dancing, nods. The guy walks away, probably to the bathroom. She walks away, too, sitting down at the other end of the bar, pulling out her phone.
“Can I get you something?” The bartender asks.
Mark turns away from the girl to him. “Um. Could you, uh, send that girl a drink from me? Whatever she wants.”
He’ll show this girl how she deserves to be treated. His friends might think he’s a fucking loser, but there’s a reason his body count is the highest between them.
The bartender turns to look at the girl as Mark nods his head towards her. He looks confused for a second, but then nods.
He walks over to the girl, points to Mark. He smiles to her.
When the bartender finishes her order, he sets a receipt in front of Mark. $16. Damn. They weren’t exaggerating. He sets his card down.
The bartender cashes him out, and places the finished cocktail in front of the girl. Mark stands.
She comes over, holding the drink. She leans on the bar beside Mark.
“Hey, baby,” Mark says.
“Thanks for the drink,” The stranger replies, in a voice light, but deeper than Mark is expecting.
Mark’s eyes widen. He leans in. Oh. Ohhhh. Shit.
“What are you even supposed to be?” The boy asks, looking Mark up and down like he’s trying to figure him out as much as Mark is trying to figure out him.
Okay, in Mark’s defense, he is definitely a pretty boy. Like, his features are soft in the way girl’s are. And he’s wearing makeup, so what was Mark supposed to think?
Mark clears his throat. “Um. My friends and I are off duty Avengers.”
The boy looks at Mark’s jeans and sweatshirt and glasses. “Yeah. Very creative, Peter Parker.”
Mark self consciously puts his hands in his pockets. “It’s just because my friend Yangyang wanted to be Ironman.”
“Yangyang? Liu?”
“Yeah, you know him?”
“We went to highschool together, but I haven’t seen him in years.”
Mark laughs. “Small world. I'm sure he’s still the same guy you knew.”
“What’s your name?” The stranger asks, putting his hand on Mark’s waist.
Mark looks down. He thinks of backing away, or telling the guy this was just a misunderstanding.
But wouldn’t it be rude to say to a dude you thought he was a chick?
“I’m Mark.”
“Mark? I’m Renjun.”
“Renjun,” Mark repeats. “That’s a really pr-“ He cuts himself off. He was about to say what he says to girls. That’s a really pretty name for a really pretty girl.
Mark shakes his head. How much did he drink?
“What?” Renjun asks.
“Oh, nothing,” Mark deflects. “Just like-“ He shakes his head.
“You look like a dog when you do that.”
Renjun reaches up, petting Mark’s hair. Mark notices how small his hands are.
“Good boy,” Renjun praises.
Mark inhales sharply. He’s feeling a little queasy. In a way that, like, feels kind of good. But also kind of confusing. He needs to stop thinking of Renjun as a girl.
“Oh. Did you like that?” Renjun asks, holding Mark’s chin.
Mark almost nods on reflex, but then he forces himself to back up. “Look, bro-“
“Bro?” Renjun drops his hand, and throws his head back, laughing.
“Dude, I’m sorry, but this is a misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding? You sent me a drink!”
“Yeah, when I thought you were a girl!”
“You- What?”
“I’m sorry,” Mark rambles, “You’re just really pretty, man, so I thought you were a chick. I’m sorry if that’s, like, homophobic of me or something.”
Renjun eyes Mark. “You came to a gay club to buy girls drinks?”
“Gay club?” Mark asks.
“Yeah, bro, this is a gay club.”
Mark looks around. “That actually makes a lot more sense.”
“I thought it was weird Yangyang Liu was hanging out at a gay club.”
Mark rubs his eye with hand. “God, this is embarrassing.”
“No,” Renjun disagrees. “It’s actually very entertaining. So, this is a gay club. The people who come here are mostly homosexual, which means they like people of the same gender. Maybe you’ve heard of Brokeback Mountain or Ellen or-“
“Oh, shhh,” Mark interrupts, grabbing Renjun’s very condescending hand. “I get it.”
Renjun is laughing at Mark’s expense.
“I can’t believe you thought I was a girl,” Renjun is saying. “Am I really that pretty?”
“Yes,” Mark says, looking down at his eyes. He feels nervous, still. Like he’s still trying to get over the idea that this is someone he’s trying to impress. “But you know that, don’t you?”
Renjun smirks. “I mean, it’s not like beauty is something accidental. I do have to try to appeal to what people want, and that requires a bit of self awareness of what works. I know if I wear a little makeup and bat my eyes and show off my stomach, more people will ask for my number.”
Mark leans against the bar. “Isn’t that a little exhausting?”
“Well, we can’t all get by wearing hoodies and skateboarding.”
“How do you know I skateboard?”
“I can just tell. Sometimes it’s exhausting. But it’s also fun.”
“I think that makes sense.”
“What’s most fun,” Renjun says dreamily. “Is figuring out what someone specifically wants from me. Like, formulating a version of myself just for them. It’s like acting, but for sex.”
“Maybe I’ve been too lazy.”
“No, you’ve just been straight.”
“Except, I think I know what you mean,” Mark considers. “Like, I’m not the same person around my friends as I am my parents. And I’m not the same person with my friends as I am with, like, girls. Or you.”
“You’re not being yourself around me?”
“No. I think I’m being more myself.”
“Why?”
“Because, I have nothing to lose with you. I already embarrassed myself. We’re not going to hook up. You don’t expect me to be anyone.”
Renjun pouts. “I preferred when you were calling me baby.”
“Sorry, baby.”
“You know, sometimes I hook up with straight guys and they just pretend I’m a girl.”
Mark tries not to think about it. It’s not like it’s easy, though. What does Renjun do to pretend to be a girl? Does he, like, change how he talks? Or… reacts?
“One time a girl pretended I was a girl,” Mark shares, trying to change the subject and bring up a sexual experience so horrible it is bound to make him stop thinking about sex altogether.
Renjun laughs. “Really?”
“Yeah. We scissored. It was weird.”
Renjun tilts his head. “Did you feel girly?”
“Isn’t that sexist?”
“Not if you think being girly is empowering, which I do.”
“I don’t think I did. I just felt like my girlfriend was probably a lesbian.”
“Was she?”
“Yes. Why do you feel empowered by being girly?”
Renjun sits down at the stool of the bar. Mark sits, too. They turn towards each other, knees touching. “It’s, like, I spent my whole life being told to be masculine. To be a man. It’s nice to just be as feminine as I want. I mean, masculinity and femininity are constructed, but you know what I mean.”
“Part of deconstructing labels is redefining who uses them and what they look like for people individually.”
Renjun is taken aback. “Where’d that come from?”
“I took a Women and Gender Studies class.”
“That’s a red flag, Mark.”
“You remember my name?”
“Do you remember mine?”
“Renjun?”
“Yeah.”
“I remember because I’ve never heard that name before. It’s pretty.”
“You almost said that when I told you, too.”
“Actually, I almost said it’s a pretty name for a pretty boy.”
“Interesting.”
“I’m straight, though.”
“I know. I know.” Renjun looks pensively at him.
“What?”
“I just want to know what it would look like if we were switched.”
“Huh?”
Renjun places a hand on his knee. “Like, if the tall, jock, fuckboy dressed pretty and queer, and if I showed up in a sweatshirt. Would we still pull?”
“You would. You’re, like, model attractive, bro.”
“Oh, Mark, you’re so sweet, bro.”
“That is interesting, though. I’ve never thought about what I would look like if I dressed like you. I think I’d look stupid.”
“No way. You’d look nice… Pretty.”
“Disagree.”
Renjun leans in. “Do you want to get out of here?”
Mark shakes his head. “Bro, I really am straight.”
“Ohmygod, not to fuck! I want to dress you up. Like a little doll.”
“Can I make you look like a tall, jock, fuckboy?”
“I don’t think you can make me taller, but you can make me fuck, boy.”
“Renjun.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Ohmygod, you’re blushing. Cute.”
“It’s not blushing, I’m embarrassed for you.”
“Will you still come back to my apartment?”
“To be your doll? Sure.”
“I’m gonna make you so pretty, Mark.”
“You can try.”
They agree to meet at the front door in no more than ten minutes, once they’ve said goodbye to their friends.
“You’re leaving a gay club with a man?” Jeno shouts over the music, one of the only women into men grinding her ass up against him.
“Yeah, but not in a gay way! I’m just seeing his apartment!”
“Jesus Christ, man.”
“He’s a friend of Yangyang’s!”
“Is that the new ‘friend of Ellen’?”
“No, he knows Yangyang.”
“I bet he also knows how to turn straight boys for the night.”
“It’s not a hookup, Jen, seriously!”
The girl in his arms turns around to look at Mark. “Dude, you guys are definitely going to fuck!” She cackles.
Mark rolls his eyes. “I like women!”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t also like men! Look at me!” She kisses Jeno for emphasis. Too much emphasis. Mark walks away.
He finds Renjun by the door, looking at his phone.
“How far of a walk is it?” He asks. It’s nice to not have to shout at him, even if his hearing is still messed up from the music.
Renjun starts leading the way, turning right when they get outside. “Only ten minutes.”
“Are those shoes comfortable?”
Renjun looks down at his platform Mary Jane’s. “Why? Do you want to give me a piggyback ride?”
“Not anymore.”
“They’re comfortable.”
Mark unhooks his baseball cap from the loop on his shorts, and puts it on. “They’re cool.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re cool. What do you study? Art?”
“Film.”
“I’m a grad student. English.”
Renjun sighs. “Too bad. Now we can’t get married. Since we’ll both be unemployed.”
“That’s the only thing stopping us from getting married?”
“It’s the only issue I see.”
“Wow, same. Absolutely nothing else is keeping us apart.”
“Can you imagine if I was your wife? Like, Don’t Worry Darling style?”
“What’s Don’t Worry Darling?”
“No! Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Maybe you are straight.”
“Maybe?”
“Okay, Don’t Worry Darling was the blockbuster film of 2022. It was directed by Olivia Wilde, who also did Booksmart, did you see Booksmart?”
“No?”
“Okay, well, it slayed, basically, so everyone was so excited for her follow up. Basically, she casts Florence Pugh, you know her right? You have to. Yelena in Black Widow.”
“Oh, she’s hot.”
“Yes, extremely. And she’s a star. But, Olivia also casts Shia Labouff. And Florence gives Wilde an ultimatum: her or Shia because Shia is a piece of shit.”
“Okay?”
“Anyway, later it’s revealed Olivia sent these super embarrassing messages begging Shia to stay on. ‘Shia, Shia, Shia.’ But, ultimately, Olivia brought in Harry fucking Styles to replace him. And this is where it gets really crazy.”
“Uh oh.”
“Olivia starts hooking up with Harry, even though she’s, like, barely divorced. And Florence is good friends with Jason Sudekis, so she’s upset. And then, Olivia starts dropping the ball director-wise because she’s so busy fucking Harry Styles and making him salad dressing. So, apparently, Florence steps in and basically directs herself. Okay, so all this is coming out, and Florence isn’t promoting the movie at all. And then, there’s the Venice premiere, where Harry Styles maybe spits on Chris Pine, and makes out with Nick Kroll instead of his girlfriend.”
“Oh, I love Nick Kroll.”
“Everyone loves Nick Kroll. Anyway, the movie is kind of a flop because it’s messy and Harry is, like, bad bad at acting. But Miss Flo is a star.”
“Got it.”
“Do you? Because there’s a test later.”
“You’ve already started mastering this masculinity thing. You just mansplained something to me.”
Renjun scoffs. “It’s not mansplaining if the other person doesn’t know anything about it. It’s educating. Mansplaining is when a man talks down to someone like they don’t know what something is, even though they clearly understand- Oh. Oh, I’m doing it right now.”
“Yeah. But I’m proud of you.”
Renjun preens. “Okay, now you need to, like, use gay slang.”
“Gay slang?”
“Say… ‘slay queen’.”
“No. No way.”
“Say it.”
“Slay. Queen.”
“You sound like you want to kill the queen.”
“Rest in peace, Lizzy.”
“Rest in misery, Lizzy.”
“She did kill Princess Di.”
Renjun grabs his arm. “You’re getting it, Mark.”
“You know, I never considered you being a murderer,” Mark thinks suddenly, looking at Renjun’s hand holding his bicep.
“Why would I be a murderer? You hit on me!”
“You invited me over!”
“Do you want me to kill you?”
“No!”
Renjun raises an eyebrow.
“No, Renjun. Please don’t kill me.”
“No promises,” Renjun says cheerily.
“Oh,” Mark remembers. “Who was that guy?”
“What guy?” Renjun asks.
“The guy you were dancing with? The lame one.”
Renjun cackles. “The lame one? What, were you jealous?”
“No.”
“Well, good. That’s just Jungwoo.”
“Just Jungwoo?”
“Just Jungwoo.”
“Okay, so?”
“No, he’s not my boyfriend, Mark, jeez.”
Mark raises his hands in defense. “Sorry, you looked comfortable together.”
“Comfortable? You sound like my dad.”
“You must have, like, a super hot dad.”
“I’ll give you his number. You were jealous.”
“What?”
“Watching Jungwoo and I.”
“Okay. Sure.”
Renjun puts his hand back on Mark’s arm. “Well, don’t worry. He’s just my friend. We were just dancing down there to scout. He had to go to the bathroom, and then we were going to go back upstairs. But then some loser sent me a drink, so I texted him to stay away.”
Mark turns to look at Renjun. “You didn’t want him to interrupt us?”
“Whatever.”
“You must not have thought I was that much of a loser.”
“No, I thought you were super hot. And then you opened your mouth.”
“Sorry, baby.”
He watches Renjun bite his lip, his fingers jitter to the bottom of his skirt to make sure it’s pulled down.
It earns him a smirk. “Well, you don’t hate everything I say, baby.”
Renjun’s cheeks turn pink. “So stupid.”
Seeing Renjun get shy makes Mark feel a little weird. He’s just surprised, is all, that even someone as bold as Renjun can get all flustered. It’s kind of cute. Like, for a guy.
“My place is just up here,” Renjun says, pointing, still avoiding eye contact even as Mark stares at him.
Renjun lights some candles collected on his windowsill.
“So, you don’t have any roommates?” Mark asks.
Renjun shakes his head. “I’m selling my soul for this room.”
“It’s really nice.”
It is really nice. Mark doesn’t know many people with studio apartments. He lives in a closet sized Graduate student dorm across the hall from an international student named Jaemin, who is so quiet it unsettles him.
His walls are blank except for a Pulp Fiction poster, which he’s been thinking of taking down because every girl he has over makes fun of it.
Renjun’s apartment is decorated in plants that hang from baskets. He has a yellow LED sign that reads, ‘shine on’ that casts the room in a golden glow. There’s a disco ball hanging from the ceiling.
Mark points to it. “Your landlord is okay with this?”
Renjun shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t ask questions.”
“You’re definitely gonna lose your deposit on this place, man.”
“It’s totally worth it though.”
Mark chuckles. “Okay.”
“Can I put on some music?” Renjun asks, walking to the corner where he has a record player set up.
“Of course.”
Renjun grabs a vinyl, and places it on the record player. Mark immediately recognizes the song.
“Oh, I love Frank Ocean.”
Renjun turns to him, and snorts. “Yeah, I bet you do.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
He watches Renjun’s eyes close. He dances to the music for a second, alone in the middle of his living room. His white tee shirt rides up when he lifts his arms, showing more of his stomach. Even as he dances like a girl at the club, he’s graceful.
“Isn’t it time to make you a bro?” Mark asks.
Renjun stops dancing. “No, I get to go first. So I can be like your big sister dressing you up for the first time.”
“That’s weird.”
“Why? Because you’re into me, so you don’t want me to be your sister?”
Mark feels himself smile even as he rolls his eyes. “You’re so strange, dude.”
Renjun walks over to his closet. “I actually don’t own any skirts except this one, but luckily my girlfriend left one over the last time she stayed. It stretches.”
“Oh,” Mark responds.
Renjun throws a skirt onto the bed. “Put that on. And… this shirt.”
Mark walks across the apartment. “Oh, man,” He says, looking down at the girl’s clothes. The shirt is a black crop top that’s bedazzled to say, ‘ANGEL’. “I don’t know.”
“Come on,” Renjun says. “It’s about self exploration. And it’s just me. Remember? Nothing to lose?”
Mark looks up at him. “You won’t tell anyone about this?”
“No. Unless it’s, like, really funny.”
“Renjun.”
“No, I won’t. Really.”
Mark pulls off his sweatshirt and tee. He pulls the crop top on, struggling to stretch it over his shoulders. “I’m gonna stretch this out, by the way.”
“I really don’t mind,” Renjun says in an impressed voice.
Mark looks back at him. “Stop objectifying me already.”
“I want you to have the full female experience,” Renjun whines.
Mark reaches for the fly of his jeans. “Look away.”
Renjun snorts. “Seriously?”
“I guess not.”
Mark takes his jeans off quickly, conscious that Renjun is probably (definitely) checking out his butt. And seeing his Spider-Man underwear. He pulls the skirt on up over his hips. It does stretch, and it has a slit, so his legs fit. He almost laughs, looking down and seeing his hairy legs coming out of a skirt. He’s worn costume skirts before as a joke, but never something made to be sexy like this.
He puts his baseball cap back on, like it'll protect him somehow.
“How’s this?” Mark asks, turning around. He knows he must look ridiculous.
Renjun’s eyes widen. “Oh, wow. Wow. Sorry, Xiaoting, you’re never getting that skirt back.”
“It’s good?” Mark asks, surprised.
“Yeah, you look really pretty. Let me do your makeup. Sit down.”
Mark sits down on the bed. He goes to spread his legs, but his skirt rides up. He pulls it down, and holds his knees together. The slit in the skirt reveals the bottom of his Spider-Man briefs, which is just such a sexy touch.
Renjun sits down with a makeup case. He crosses his legs, facing Mark.
“Let’s take this off,” He says, taking off Mark’s baseball cap for him, and throwing it across the room. “Wow, much better.”
Renjun reaches into his makeup case.
“Only a little bit,” Mark tells him.
“I only have a little bit,” Renjun says. “And I want to do a subtle look, nothing wild. Look at me.”
Mark turns his head to Renjun, who dabs his fingers under Mark’s eyes, his upper lip, and his nose. “This is concealer.”
He grabs a makeup sponge, and dumps foundation on it. “This should be close to your shade.”
Mark closes his eyes as Renjun dabs concealer onto his skin.
“I’ve been told I don’t need foundation,” Mark says.
“By who? A liar?”
“My ex-girlfriend.”
“The one who definitely wasn’t a lesbian?”
Mark groans. “Just make me pretty.”
“Here’s some blush… highlight… Oh, wow. You already look great.”
“Can I see?”
“Let me do your eyes first. What color?”
He holds out an eyeshadow pallet. Mark looks at the different colors, trying to imagine them on his own eyes. He can’t. He just can’t imagine himself wearing makeup like this. But he wants to. He wants to know himself better, the way Renjun seems to know who he is.
He points to a gold, which seems safe. “Is that good?”
“Yeah, that’s a pretty shade.”
Renjun balances his hand on Mark’s knee, leaning in. Mark leans in on instinct, his eyes watching Renjun’s lips as he smirks.
“Close your eyes, Mark.”
Mark listens. Renjun brushes eyeshadow onto his lids.
Mark opens his eyes wide when he’s done, to ask if it looks nice with them.
“Aww, puppy dog eyes,” Renjun says affectionately, brushing his cheek. “You’re pretty like this, Mark.”
“I don’t feel pretty,” Mark admits. “I feel self conscious.”
Renjun squeezes his knee. “Don’t. Here. Some mascara,” Renjun says. He holds up the wand. “Blink.”
Mark blinks, the wand brushes against his lashes.
“Almost done,” Renjun says. “Just some lip gloss. This ones good. Just hold your mouth open like this.” He demonstrates. Mark copies.
He applies the lip gloss, and smiles. “Want to see?”
Mark rubs his lips together. It’s uncomfortably sticky, and his skin feels itchy, and every time he blinks his eyelashes stick together. He has no idea why anyone would choose to do this everyday.
“Yeah, show me the damage.”
Renjun flips around a hand mirror to him. Mark grabs it, bringing it close to him to see.
He giggles. “I look stupid.”
“Mark,” Renjun scolds, hitting his shoulder. “Don’t think about what others would say. Do you like it?”
Mark shrugs. “No? I mean, sorry, it’s fun, but like… It doesn’t make me feel like myself.”
Renjun nods understandably.
“Still,” Mark says. “For a guy, I’m kind of a hot girl, right?”
Renjun smiles. He grabs Mark’s ear, and rubs it with his thumb. “You’re a really hot girl, Mark.”
“I feel like you find me more cute like this,” Mark argues.
“You just look so shy,” Renjun explains. “It’s really cute, Mark.”
Mark covers his face with his hand. “Okay.”
“Can I take a picture of you?” Renjun asks.
“Just for you?”
“Just for us.”
Mark feels a sudden wave of affection for the other boy, both of them sitting on his bed in skirts. They’ve known each other for what? An hour? And he feels closer to him than people he’s known for years.
It’s kind of what his girlfriend explained to him about girls when she told him she was seeing one. “It’s easy between us,” She said. “Do you know how much we get judged by men just for being girls? Between us, we don’t have to worry about that. It makes me feel safer, and understood.”
Renjun takes a photo of him on his phone, and Mark feels safe and understood.
“Your turn,” Mark says when Renjun sets his phone down.
Renjun face plants into his bed. “Do I have to?”
“Yes!” Mark stresses. “Look at me! You have to follow through.”
“Fine, fine. You want to look through my closet? I might not have exactly what you need.”
“I can manage.”
Mark stands up. He pulls his skirt down. These things really are a nuisance.
He looks through Renjun’s closet, most of which is way too stylish to pass as straight. Finally, he finds a pair of khakis. “Perfect. Do you have a plain white button up?”
“Yeah. In the drawer.”
Mark finds the shirt. “Put this on. And-“ He walks across the room, grabbing his discarded baseball cap. He throws it to Renjun, who drops it.
“God,” Renjun says. “I’m gonna look like such a douche.”
“Can’t wait. Time to change, bro.”
Renjun rolls his eyes. He takes off his blazer. Mark almost looks away, but he doesn’t want Renjun to make fun of him. So he tries to just sit casually in the desk chair Renjun has, and only watch out of the corner of his eye.
Renjun takes his shirt off. He’s not particularly muscular, but he still has a nice body. Slim, like a girl’s. His waist is, like, nice.
He puts on the white button up, and reaches down to slide off his skirt. He takes off his socks, too.
Mark finally has to look away as he bends down.
Renjun catches him immediately. “Aww, feeling shy, Markie?”
“Whatever.”
“I’m fully clothed. You can look.”
Renjun spreads out his arms. The loose fitting khakis and the oversized shirt together make him look like a freshman rushing. He has the baseball cap on forwards.
“Dude, come on,” Mark scolds, standing, and walking to him. He flips his baseball cap around backwards. “That’s how you have to do it.”
“Oh, thanks, dude.”
“Hey, I’m not a dude. I’m a pretty girl,” Mark whines. “Please stick to your own roleplay idea, man.”
“Roleplay?” Renjun asks with a smirk.
“Whatever. Here, put these on,” Mark directs, grabbing a pair of sunglasses from Renjun’s bedside table. Renjun slides them on. “Hell yeah.”
Renjun turns to the full length mirror. “I look like a fucking loser.”
Mark stands beside him, looking at them together. “It’s perfect.”
“Because you’re less sexually attracted to me and therefore less confused?”
Mark feels himself pale. “No. Definitely not.”
Renjun smiles, pleased. “So you’re still incredibly sexually attracted to me like this. Hot.”
“You’re so confident,” Mark points out.
Renjun shrugs. “Not really.”
“You seem really confident.”
“Look, being gay is like being on a reality TV show, but it’s a dating show, and a fashion competition, and Survivor, and a comedy all at once. You’re being, like, constantly surveillanced by an audience deciding to vote you off or not. You have to be confident, and funny, and attractive. Or you’re, like, not even valid.”
Mark raises his eyebrows. “Jesus. I wouldn’t last a day.”
“But, you’ve lasted, what, 23 years?”
“Renjun.”
“Sorry. I’m kidding. I am.” Renjun looks at him sincerely.
Mark almost feels disappointed, worried Renjun will stop joking around with him thinking he’ll get offended.
But then Renjun smirks, and pulls Mark in front of the mirror with him. “Besides, look at us. We’re totally giving straight couple right now.”
“I get the straight part, but I’m not sure about ‘couple’.”
“Please,” Renjun says. He points at Mark in the mirror. “She wants him-“ He points to his own reflection, “-so bad.”
“Really? I think he wants her.”
“Duh, he’s a dude, he’s horny. But she’s just playing hard to get.”
“Of course a dude would assume a girl that doesn’t want to sleep with him is just playing hard to get.”
Renjun rolls his eyes. “Jeez, being a straight guy is hard work. Can we just be a gay couple?”
“What kind of gay couple is this?” Mark asks, laughing and pointing to the mirror.
“Well, how we’re dressed now, I would probably top.”
“What?”
“Bottoming is feminized,” Renjun explains. “Boys that dress like pretty girls want to be treated like pretty girls.”
“But you were dressed like a pretty girl earlier.”
Renjun smirks. “What can I say? I’m not like other girls.”
“You like to top?”
“I like everything.” Renjun smiles cutely, sweetly.
Mark sits back down on Renjun’s bed, and looks down at his lap, covered by the skirt. “I’ve actually always kind of wondered.”
“What?” Renjun asks, standing above him with his arms crossed.
“You know, what it feels like. To.” He mimes it with his hands.
Renjun’s eyes widen. “You mean, you’ve never done it yourself? Or had a girlfriend slip a finger or toy up there?”
“No.”
“Woah.”
“Does it really feel like shitting?”
Renjun narrows his eyes at him. “Dude, I am not explaining to you what it feels like. If you want to know so bad, why don’t you try it?”
“How would I try it?” Mark asks. “I am not sticking my finger up my ass.”
“Well,” Renjun starts, biting his lip, and looking up through his lashes. “I could help you.”
Mark laughs. But then he stops. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Renjun says. “It won’t really be sex. I’ll just… demonstrate.”
Mark leans back on his arms. “So, like, you would… top me? And it wouldn’t really be sex?”
“Yeah. You can even pretend to be a girl, and I’m a dude, so it’ll be like what you’re used to. Except. Your hole.”
“I am curious,” Mark says. He clicks his tongue.
“Come on,” Renjun encourages. “This might be your only chance at not-gay not-sex gay sex.”
Mark shakes his head in disbelief at what he’s about to say, “Okay. Do it. Do me.”
Renjun blinks. “For real?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. Woah. Okay.” Renjun looks around the apartment, caught off guard. “Um, okay. Go to the bathroom and make sure you’re clean down there. I’ll get stuff around out here.”
“Okay,” Mark says. “Thank you.”
“No problem?” Renjun responds questioningly, eyeing Mark as he walks across his room into the bathroom.
Mark lays back down on the bed.
“So,” Renjun ventures, standing over him. “You just wanna do missionary?”
“Please,” Mark says.
“Huh,” Renjun breathes out. “This is like straight sex.”
“Not sex,” Mark counters. “Penetration.”
“Okay. Penetration. You took your makeup off.”
“It was hot. Like, warm.”
Renjun noticeably has lost the baseball cap and glasses already, too. “I know what you mean. Okay. I’m going to take off my pants now.”
“Woah, sexy.”
Renjun rolls his eyes, undoing the button of his khakis. He pulls them down, along with his underwear.
Mark stares.
“Wow,” He says. “It’s so, sorry, pretty… and pink. And hairless.”
“Ohmygod. Please stop talking about my dick like it’s a vagina.”
“I’m sorry. It’s kind of the vagina of penises.”
Renjun flips him off.
“Do I need to do something to help you get hard?” Mark asks. “Dude, I’ve never touched someone else’s penis.”
“Can you stop saying penis? This isn’t science class.”
“Dick is so vulgar, though.”
“Then don’t call it anything,” Renjun groans.
Mark chuckles. “Alright. Fine. Stick it in.”
Renjun’s eyes widen in alarm. “Stick it in? You think you can just stick it in?”
“Yeah, I can take it,” Mark promises.
“You cannot. You need lube. And to go slow. You haven’t prepped, but I’m pretty small so you should be okay.” Renjun looks down at him, catching him as he bites his lip. “Ohmygod. Do you like me calling myself small?”
“No? Why would I like that?”
“I’m so tiny and fragile, and you’re so big and strong. Look, your hand could wrap around my entire dick.”
“Stop it,” Mark pleads.
“We’re having sex, Mark. You should get turned on by stuff.”
Mark scoffs. “We’re not having sex, remember? And that’s such a macho thing to be turned on by. Shouldn’t I want you to be the strong, manly one?”
“Size has nothing to do with how manly you are, thank you, but yeah, you’re right. I’m treating you too much like a dude still.”
“Come on, treat me like a girl.”
"Um, okay. How's this?" Renjun reaches up, and grabs a fistful of Mark’s hair, yanking his face towards his. “Are you gonna be a good girl for me?” He asks, in a voice that sounds nothing like his own.
“Woah,” Mark responds. “That’s good.”
Renjun tugs, eyes glaring. “Tell me, Mark. Tell me you’ll be a good girl.”
Mark's stomach turns. “I’ll be a good girl.”
“Good.”
Renjun lets go of his hair. He straddles his thighs, pushing his skirt up to around his waist.
“Oh,” Renjun admires. “You’re already hard. Can I touch you?”
“Mhm.”
Renjun paws his dick over his Spider-Man underwear.
Mark tries not to squirm.
Renjun reaches his fingers to the waistband of Mark’s underwear, and yanks it down. Mark bends his knees to help him get it all the way off.
“So obedient,” Renjun praises. “I could get you off with my hand, but that’s boring. A girl can do that for you. Let me show you what a guy can do.”
Renjun forces his legs to spread, forces his knees to bend. He grabs a condom from next to him, putting it on. He grabs lube, and adds a generous amount onto himself. He lines himself up to Mark with his dick, and then places his tip against Mark. Mark feels him tease his entrance, rubbing against it, threatening to break in.
“Woah,” Mark says. “This is crazy.”
“I’m going to start pushing in. It might be uncomfortable at first.”
“Just do it,” Mark practically begs. “I promise I can take it.”
“Oh, yeah? You promise?”
“Dude, I think I can handle it.”
But when Renjun starts entering him, it’s more uncomfortable than he’s expecting. Luckily, Renjun doesn’t listen to him, and is slow.
As he gets deeper, Mark feels stretched open. "Relax," Renjun whispers, and Mark forces himself to relax his muscles, and Renjun slides easier back.
“How does that feel?” Renjun asks.
He can’t really compare the feeling to anything. He’s not sure what he’s feeling.
“Um,” Mark hesitates. “Well, I’m not gonna say it feels bad.”
“Does it feel good?”
“Um.”
“Here, I’ll move a bit.”
“Woah, fuck, stop, stop.”
Renjun immediately stops, and goes to pull out. Mark panics, and grabs his hips to keep him inside. “I didn’t mean to pull out!”
“Well, you said stop! What am I supposed to think?”
Mark groans. “Not stop-stop. Just. One second.”
Truthfully, Mark’s mind is kind of being blown right now, and he needs a second to process how fucking insane this is. “Okay,” He says, once he feels calmed down. “Go ahead.”
Renjun goes ahead.
“Yo,” Mark starts, but Renjun is cutting him off immediately, “Hey, no babygirl of mine is going to say ‘yo’ when I’m inside of her.”
“Okay. Sorry.” He’s finding it harder and harder to speak anyway. “But you need to talk like a fuckboy.”
Renjun laughs, and then says to him, “Shut up and take it, babygirl.”
“Fuck,” Mark slips out.
Renjun cackles. “Actually? That works for you?”
“Stay in character,” Mark laughs out. He grips the sheets below him.
“Moan like a girl,” Renjun demands.
Mark feels himself smile. He thinks of the porn he’s watched. “Oh, fuck,” He moans. “Fuck me!”
“No, no,” Renjun reprimands. “It’s more like, ‘Oh, yes! Fuck! Fuck me! Harder!’”
Mark could almost finish from hearing Renjun moan like that, and the way he unconsciously starts to fuck Mark harder as he begs for it, but he pulls himself together. He smacks Renjun’s thigh. “Stop trying to outshine my role.”
“Sorry, I’m just so good at it.”
“Well, thank you for the notes. I’ll try it. Fuck. Yeah. Like that.”
“You’re doing so good, baby,” Renjun replies. “Really. You’re taking me so well, Mark.”
“Oh, fuck.”
“So perfect, princess.”
Mark opens his eyes. “Princess?”
Renjun reaches up, and puts a hand loosely on Mark’s throat. “Critique me after I’m done fucking you, please.”
Mark’s mouth widens as Renjun’s fingers press into his neck. He moans without force, and says shakily, “I don’t think I’m going to be able to talk coherently about this.”
“Don’t worry, angel. Just enjoy it.”
“Okay. Oh, God.”
“Do you want me to go faster? Slower? Tell me how you want it, Markie.”
“I can’t-fuck-okay, faster. Harder, whatever, I just really need to cum now.”
“Aw,” Renjun purrs. “Here, this helps.” Renjun wraps his hand around Mark’s dick.
“Woah,” Mark says.
“Yeah, I know right,” Renjun says. “It’s fucking awesome.”
“Holy shit,” Mark responds as Renjun begins to jack him off as he still moves his hips back and forth, fucking Mark with increasing force. “I’m close.”
“You don’t need my permission to cum,” Renjun says. “I mean, unless you want it.”
Mark can’t even respond his head is so fucked.
Renjun twists his hand on his dick, pushes in and holds in Mark’s ass, looks him in the eyes, and says, “Cum.”
Mark feels like he’s falling. He’s probably come over a thousand times in his life, but this feeling is completely new.
He tries to catch his breath again. His fingers shake as he raises them to Renjun’s cheek, to thank him somehow without being able to use words.
Renjun goes to pull out, still hard.
“Wait,” Mark sighs. “You can… you can finish.”
“It’s okay, Mark,” Renjun promises. “You did enough.”
Mark still feels disappointed when Renjun slips out of him. He grabs the towel at the end of the bed, and wipes off Mark’s stomach for him.
“No,” Mark vocalizes. “I mean, let me help you finish, too.”
“How?” Renjun asks.
Mark sits up. He opens and closes his mouth. He has no idea how to get another guy off. It can’t be that different from himself, right?
“Have you ever wondered what sucking dick is like?” Renjun asks, bluntly, taking off his condom and dropping it in the wastebasket by his bed.
Mark tilts his head. He looks down at Renjun’s dick. Wonders what it would be like in his mouth. “Sure.”
“I wish I could demonstrate, but-“ Renjun points to Mark’s flaccid penis. “Actually, here, give me your hand.”
Mark reaches his hand out. Renjun grabs it with his. He folds Mark’s pinky, thumb, and ring finger down. He brings the pointer and middle finger to his lips.
Mark snorts. “Are you about to give my hand a blowjob? L-O-L, is that a handjob?”
“Shh,” Renjun says before opening his mouth, and guiding Mark’s fingers inside.
He talks around them. “So, it’s good to kind of tease the head a bit, like-“ He licks softly at the tips of Mark’s fingers.
His tongue is crazy soft. It feels like getting licked by a cat. Mark’s stomach tenses.
“And then you slowly need to take it deeper.”
“How do you not choke?” Mark asks, impressed as his knuckles slide into Renjun’s mouth.
“Well,” Renjun mumbles, his mouth full. He takes Mark’s fingers out to talk, spit dragging from his lip. “Some people are just naturally blessed and gifted, like me, or you need to train yourself not to gag. It’s also, you know, the partner's job to make sure they’re staying in control and not choking you. Unless you’re into that.”
“Right,” Mark says, dazed as Renjun’s mouth opens again. He places his fingers back on Renjun’s tongue.
Drool runs down the side of his mouth. Mark moves his fingers deep, wiping his thumb against Renjun’s mouth.
“Okay,” Mark says. “So you’re inside my mouth. Now what do I do?”
Renjun grabs his wrist, and guides his fingers in and out of his mouth. His tongue licks down between them, and he sucks them in. His mouth is so tiny, his cheeks brush against Mark’s fingers, and he’s basically deepthroating when Mark gets to his bottom knuckles.
He looks up at Mark through his eyelashes.
“Oh, shit,” Mark says.
“Hmm?” Renjun asks.
“Just keep going,” Mark begs. “You look so pretty like that.”
Renjun’s mouth tightens on his fingers as he smiles.
He does look pretty, even as his spit makes vulgar, wet noises against his fingers.
Mark has watched girls give him blowjobs, and yeah, he likes it. But this isn’t even a real blowjob. This isn’t even a real girl.
Still.
“Shit, Renjun,” He says softly.
Mark holds his fingers down against Renjun’s tongue, and then runs them back until he can feel the curve of it down into his throat, and his fingers are bending to go deeper, and Mark pushes down on Renjun’s tongue, and he finally gags.
He pulls Mark’s hand out of his mouth, coughing. “Jesus, Mark! What the fuck was that?”
“Sorry,” Mark panics. “Sorry, I just wanted…”
“To make me choke?”
Mark shrugs.
“Well,” Renjun says. “Now you have to show me what you learned.”
Renjun grabs Mark’s shoulders, and changes their position so he can lean back on the headboard, and Mark is left sitting on his knees in front of him.
He wipes his palms against his thighs.
“Sorry, I’m nervous,” Mark admits. “This feels like if I had to shoot hoops with Steph Curry or something. Steph Curry is a really good basketball player.”
“I know who Steph Curry is, Mark!” Renjun groans and rolls his eyes. “You do not have to be at my level, trust me, I know that’s unrealistic. Just do your best.”
Mark nods. “Okay. So, I’m gonna go for it.”
“Go for it, baby,” Renjun sighs. He reaches his hands into Mark’s hair, brushing it back out of his forehead, and then helping him guide his mouth down to his cock, which is still so perfect and pink.
First. Lick him like a cat. He takes Renjun’s head into his mouth. Ohmygod. Another man’s penis is in my mouth right now.
He experiments with it, guiding it into his mouth, and back out again. He’s just licking it up and down. His mouth fills with drool.
He backs up for a second to look back up at Renjun, who is biting his lip.
“Is it supposed to taste good to me?” Mark asks.
“Not necessarily,” Renjun says, in a pinched voice. “It’s okay if it doesn’t.”
“No, it tastes good to me.”
“Oh. Well, I’m very clean.”
“It tastes better than girls.”
He watches Renjun put a hand over his eyes, his other hand tightening in Mark’s hair. “Okay, Mark. Please, please just suck my dick.”
That’s an easy enough direction to follow. He takes Renjun back in his mouth, and closes his lips around him. He tries actually sucking, softly at first.
He hears Renjun make a high pitched noise above him. He likes it. It encourages Mark, each little sound from Renjun, and the fact that he can taste his precum, and his hand getting tighter and tighter in his hair as if he needs something to hold onto.
Mark understands now. What it means to put effort into something, and care about what someone thinks.
It’s too soon when Renjun whines, “Mark. I’m gonna cum.”
Mark feels Renjun try to pull back out of his mouth, but he forces his hips to stay in place.
“Mark, you don’t want me to cum in your mouth. Do you?” Renjun asks in alarm, “Do you?!”
Mark keeps going, no plan to stop and let Renjun cum anywhere else but down his throat.
Renjun groans at this realization, and then Mark’s mouth is filling with him, and he swallows him down.
That tastes good, too.
“Holy fuck, Mark,” Renjun is saying. “Ohmygod.”
Mark pulls his mouth off Renjun’s dick, wipes his chin, and sits up to look at Renjun who is staring at him in shock.
“What the fuck?” Renjun says.
Mark shrugs. “I liked it.”
It’s probably not the best sign that he likes going down on a guy as much as he likes going down on girls. Maybe even more.
He would do that again. If Renjun wanted him to. He would maybe do anything Renjun wanted him to do right now.
Renjun shakes his head in disbelief. “You really never did anything with a guy before today?”
“Nope.”
“Wow, you’re a natural.”
Mark smiles. Back to the teasing. He’s happy about that. Happy Renjun can still make fun of him even after he’s been inside of him.
“I’ll go get you some water,” Renjun offers.
Mark grabs his wrist. “Wait, no. I’m okay. Just stay here with me. For a little bit.”
Renjun sits back down beside Mark. “Stay with you?”
Mark holds Renjun’s thigh. “Come on, I just sucked your dick. Cuddle with me, dude.”
“Oh, you are weird,” Renjun says, put off. He stands, and grabs his underwear and the white shirt from the floor.
“Please,” Mark begs.
“I just want to be comfortable,” Renjun explains. “I’m getting us water, too.”
Renjun walks to his small kitchen, getting them water from the tap.
Mark gets out of bed. “Can I take this skirt off now?”
“Do what you want,” Renjun calls back.
Mark admits he doesn’t hate the skirt as much as he thought he would. But being in his underwear and a sweatshirt still sounds better.
He gets back into Renjun’s bed once he’s redressed.
Renjun is taking a long drink from a large glass jar as he comes back to bed. He passes it to Mark.
Mark is surprised by how thirsty he is. He drinks the rest of the water. It’s so cold.
“I told you,” Renjun scolds, brushing some of his hair out of his eyes for him. “You need to rehydrate.”
Mark sets the jar on Renjun’s bedside table. “Yeah, you’re taking good care of me.”
“Of course,” Renjun says. “I have to take care of my princess.”
Mark smacks his arm. “I don’t like princess.”
“Really? You seem to have no issue with babygirl, though.”
Mark knows he’s blushing. Renjun laughs, and cups his cheek again.
“Lay down,” Mark asks, opening his arms to Renjun.
He hesitates for a second. “I usually make hookups leave,” He explains.
“Good thing we didn’t hookup,” Mark says. “We just had an educational experience, is all.”
“Do you always cuddle with your teachers?” Renjun asks.
“Sure, if I’m in bed with them.”
Renjun laughs, and finally accepts his place in Mark’s arms.
This is not a first for Mark. He and Jeno cuddle maybe too much when they’re drunk. But usually they just kind of drunkenly collapse on top of each other, or Jeno holds him.
He’s holding Renjun, and he’s surprised by how well Renjun fits in his arms, how nicely his head fits against his chest.
Mark runs his fingers through Renjun’s hair, trying to get the tangles out of the blonde.
“I hope you know,” Renjun mumbles. “That next time, you’re fucking me.”
Mark coughs, caught off guard. “Next time?”
Renjun scoffs. “Oh, please, Mark.”
He suddenly feels too tired to argue. He suddenly can’t come up with an argument for why they shouldn’t do this again.
He thinks of entering Renjun. Feeling Renjun around him. Being inside of him.
“Yeah, sure,” Mark decides. “I guess I could be into that.”
Renjun reaches up a hand, squeezing his ear. “You know, I’m very fond of you, babygirl.”
“I think I’m kind of fond of you, too, dude.”