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The thing Ace and Sanji argue about the most is whether or not their crews know.
They’re in the crow’s nest on the Thousand Sunny, trying to keep watch but they fail. Terribly. It’s a cold night and Sanji keeps leaning into him in the way that three marine ships could attack them at once and Ace just wouldn’t notice. Ace is twirling a piece of Sanji’s hair with his index finger when Sanji asks his question.
“They know. They definitely know.” Ace says confidently when Sanji asks him about it. Sanji merely stares at Ace, eyes wide and jaw slack as he lets the information sink in.
“What?” Sanji asks, lifting his head off Ace’s chest. “How?”
“Uh…”
It could be the time when we first met and when I called home, the only person I could talk about was you. Or it could be the time when the only food I could eat was yours. Or it could be the time when Marco found me looking at a ring in a jewelry shop and didn’t ask me if it was too soon.
Ace doesn’t know how he’s supposed to say all this. It’s too soon. Instead, Ace throws his head back and laughs, heart heavy and says, “We’re pretty obvious, Sanji. I’m sorry to break it to you.”
There’s deep-rooted conflict ingrained into Sanji’s features. When they’d first started their relationship, Sanji’s first condition was that none of his crew could ever find out about them. Sanji had a special insistence about Luffy never finding out and Ace gets it, but sometimes, it also begs the question of whether or not Sanji is embarrassed of him.
“It’s okay.” Ace says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible, but he isn’t doing a very good job of it. “I don’t think it’s that bad if people find out.”
Sanji backs away from him, leaning against the wall so he’s face-to-face with Ace. Their legs are still tangled, but Sanji tucks his hands into his pockets. “Look. It’s not that simple for me. Luffy is my captain — do you even know how bad it’ll look if he finds out that I’m sleeping with his brother?”
“Luffy wouldn’t mind.”
Sanji scoffs. He doesn’t say anything, just reaches for a cigarette kept in the flap of his pocket. Ace moves to light it for him, their eyes brushing over the flame.
“He might be okay with it,” Sanji says, voice low. “But I don’t wanna take that chance.”
Ace can live with that. He’s done a lot of things he doesn’t agree with before. Watching Teach bleed out on the battlefield — a person he knew, another one of Pops’ sons, a friend — a part of Ace was torn but he knew it had to be done. Blood for blood. Eye for an eye. That’s what maintains the balance of the world and even though Ace might not be able to accept it, it’s a necessary evil.
So, Ace nods, cradles Sanji’s face in his hands and kisses him hard enough to make him bruise.
*
Before they were even formally introduced, Ace took one look at Sanji and he turned to Luffy, words tumbling from his mouth before he could stop them. “I want him.” Ace said, wholly consumed by that innate desire.
Luffy, of course, misunderstood. Like any good captain, Luffy was consumed by rage and even though Ace was his brother — a familial relationship above all else — Luffy had grabbed Ace by the arm. He’d looked Ace in the eyes and there was no mistaking the anger, the possessiveness in his stare as he’d said, “No. Sanji is mine. He’s my cook. Mine.”
Ace had laughed, loud and bright, but there was no mistaking Luffy’s words for being anything else. Sanji was his. His. And Luffy would go through hell for whatever was his. Ace knew well enough to know that he shouldn’t interfere with that.
Sanji was different, though. Ace couldn’t stay away from him. He’s funny and he’s lively and he’s oblivious about the way Ace feels about him. He’s everything Ace has ever wanted, packed into one long-legged package. Even before Ace knew him long enough to know his last name, Ace knew he wanted Sanji. Every bit of him.
So, Ace did what he did best. He flirted. He offered to wash the dishes for Sanji. He tried to help cook, but Sanji let him into the kitchen once and promptly banned him. He lit Sanji’s cigarette and delighted in the blush that spread across his cheek, freckles alight under the flame of Ace’s body.
Ace saw that power inside Sanji and wondered how anyone could’ve had the gall to give him away. After two weeks by Sanji’s side, Ace wasn’t sure if he could ever let him go. Keeping them a secret is a small price to pay for something like that.
*
“Where are you guys headed next?” Ace asks, staring at the tiny curl on the chin of the Transponder Snail.
They’re both back on their ships, a few countries between them at this point and there’s an ache inside Ace's chest that refuses to go away. He misses Sanji, he misses Sanji and he can’t stop talking Marco’s ear off about him to the point where Marco has taken to walking out of the room whenever he sees Ace.
He doesn’t know how to express this to Sanji, though, so he doesn’t. Instead, they talk about inane things like Sanji finally getting a lock for his fridge to keep Luffy out or a new recipe and Ace tells Sanji about Pops’ declining health. Ace wants to tell Sanji he misses him, that he can’t wait to see him again, but if the wrong person overhears them, Sanji will never forgive him.
Ace swallows the words down and lets them fester inside him as he waits for Sanji’s answer.
“Dunno, I’ll have to ask Nami-san. I think we’re a few days out, though.” Sanji says, sighing into the phone. “I can’t wait to get on some land and stretch my legs.”
Ace laughs. “Now, now, Sanji, you’re a pirate. You can’t hate being on the water.”
“I don’t hate it, I just — ” It takes Sanji another second to talk again and when he does, his voice is lowered, barely high enough to be heard over the chaos of Luffy’s loud shrieks and Franky’s singing in the background. “I miss you.”
There’s a loud whistle from outside the door and with a start, Ace realizes his entire family has been listening in on his conversation with Sanji. Ace calmly puts the Snail down before he throws a bout of fire through the door, singeing the edge of Marco’s pants. Marco only walks off with a loud chuckle, before Ace shuts the door in their faces.
He jumps onto the bed, grabbing the Snail with ferocity before Sanji makes the mistake of thinking that Ace hung up on him and says the words that he’s been thinking of for a while now. “I miss you, too.”
Sanji hums. “Thought I scared you off.”
“Nothing you do could ever scare me off.” Ace answers, with as much honesty as he — a wanted, menacing pirate — can muster. “Really.”
“Mhm, you’re on dish duty next time then.”
I love you, I love you, I love you. “Okay, maybe there is one thing.” Ace replies and drowns in the honeyed sound of Sanji’s golden laughter.
*
It’s Izou’s doing, Ace is sure about that. They hear some news about the Straw Hat crew docking onto Sabaody Archipelago, a picture of Sanji almost kicking Zoro and suddenly, the Whitebeard crew also have some work at Sabaody. When Ace asks Pops about it, all he gets is a snipped, “I need to speak to Rayleigh.”
Ace is a bad pirate. He should have a lot of questions about Silvers Rayleigh, about why his father wants to talk to Gol D. Roger’s former right hand and he also heard of Rayleigh being in prison, but what Ace is most excited about is that he’s going to see Sanji. Sanji.
Ace sees Izou giving him a tiny grin over his glass of alcohol and Ace knows. Yes, this is definitely Izou’s doing.
It takes them a few weeks to get to Sabaody and when they dock, Ace is the first person off the ship. The wolf whistles and the comments — they’re all white noise to the raging silence inside Ace’s head. He can feel the flames bursting at his fingertips as he starts to walk around the island, trying to spot Sanji or Luffy or even Zoro — until it strikes him.
The marketplace.
There’s no way Sanji misses out on the fresh produce of a new island. It’s just the way that he is. Always curious, always adventurous, always looking for something new wherever he goes. No matter how much they try to dress it down, Sanji is a pirate and one thing about pirates is that they’re always looking for something different.
Ace traverses through the bubbles and pinned bounty posters outside stalls — which Ace thoroughly ignores when he sees his own — and makes his way down to the marketplace. The smell of takoyaki hits him first and Ace ignores the grumble of his own stomach.
First, he’s going to meet Sanji. The rest of it comes later.
And, he finds him as predicted. Sanji is walking out of the marketplace, bags and bags filled with interesting looking produce. There’s a cigarette stuck between his lips, eyes hazy and Ace can already hear the things that are going on in his head right now. Meat for Luffy, sandwiches for Robin, hamburgers for Franky because Sanji will never think of feeding himself before he feeds others.
Ace follows him for a few blocks. In hindsight, Ace knows how odd this might look to an outsider. But on the inside, he’s really unsure of how he’s supposed to approach Sanji first. Hey, Sanji, but my weirdly obsessive family brought this ship to an island that you’re on with some half-assed excuse, even though we agreed to keep this relationship casual and fun. I swear I’m not stalking you. Yeah, those words don’t fit the situation.
It shouldn’t be natural to feel this nervous. This is Sanji. Ace almost told him the identity of his biological father after Sanji told him about Germa and Judge and the jail cells that Judge had locked him into when Sanji was merely a child. Ace’s rage boiled inside him — even though Ace was sure that Sanji was sugarcoating things and that things were way, way worse than what Sanji was telling him.
There are things about him that Sanji knows that no one else in this world knows. Ace takes one glance at Sanji, who’s almost out of reach now and his heart tumbles under the cage of his ribs.
Ace jumps down from the building that he’s on and it must be the sound of his feet hitting the ground — though Ace’s inner romantic likes to believe that Sanji just instinctively knew that Ace was there — that makes Sanji turn on his heel. The cigarette falls from his mouth, eyes growing wide as Sanji blinks once, then twice. As if he’s struggling to make sense of Ace’s presence right here right now.
Ace tips his hat, but nothing could ever shield him from the brightness of Sanji’s face. “Hey, stranger.” Ace says, like he’s been practicing in front of his foggy bathroom mirror for a few days now. It doesn’t sound quite as charming as Ace had hoped, but Sanji’s eyes widen and he drops his bags and runs towards Ace and really, that’s all Ace has ever wanted.
“We’re in public, you know.” Ace laughs between the kisses that Sanji peppers on his face, a distinct red bleeding into Sanji’s cheeks and Ace relishes it, stashes this Sanji away into his memory for later.
“I really don’t care.” Sanji replies, and Ace beams.
Surprisingly, no one asks any questions about why Ace is in Sabaody. They’re just happy to see him. Luffy clings to Ace and invites him to dinner, Nami asks him about the family while Usopp gives him a nervous glance and a watery smile. Zoro offers him a drink which he’s never done before, but Ace isn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He accepts.
Night steadily falls and Sanji has cooked up a feast. He doesn’t even look tired, instead he’s beaming, running around refilling everyone’s glasses. The alcohol is flowing, Luffy’s laughter is loud, loud, loud, but what Ace is really focused on is his hand under the table, locked with Sanji’s. Sanji has his own gravity and Ace is caught in his orbit.
Chopper is the first one to pass out, then Zoro, then Brook. The girls help Usopp drag a passed out Luffy out of the kitchen while Franky looks like he has more energy than ever. “I want to sing a song for you two lovely people. Ah, young love is just super!” Franky says, and before Ace can even respond, Sanji has already kicked Franky out of the kitchen and shut the door in his face.
Ace moves to turn the lights down and Sanji sets the water to boil, sets out two mugs and two tea bags lie in the empty mugs. It’s chamomile tea. Marco loves chamomile tea. Ace sits across Sanji, a counter separating the two of them and Ace reaches for a tangerine. Ash tumbles from the blazing end of Sanji’s cigarette, the scent of citrus filling the air.
It’s inching closer to midnight and Ace’s brain-to-mouth filter is slipping. “Is it okay that I’m here?” He asks, without even thinking through it twice. Sanji freezes.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don’t know… I just — ” Ace finishes peeling the tangerine, toying with the pith. “I don’t know.”
Sanji doesn’t say a word for quite some time. The kettle whistles loudly and Sanji turns the stove off, pouring the boiling water into the mugs. The water takes a honeyed color and Ace’s slice of tangerine tastes bitter.
“Ace.”
Ace can’t look up from his tangerine.
“Look at me.”
Sanji’s fingers curl under Ace’s chin, but he doesn’t force Ace to meet his eyes because above all, Sanji is kind. He’s kind and he’s caring and Ace is half in love with him already. Ace looks, runs his eyes along the moonlight on the bridge of Sanji’s nose.
“I’m glad that you’re here.” Sanji enunciates and he sounds like he means every word. I love you, I love you, I love you, Ace wants to say. Instead, he nods and lets Sanji kiss him till he forgets he was worried about something in the first place.
*
Like most of Ace’s problems, even this one starts with a half-asleep Luffy at the breakfast table. Ace is merely sipping on his coffee, subtly (or maybe not so subtly) glancing at Sanji whenever he can. There are wisps of sunlight catching on Sanji’s hair, caught behind his ear. Then he notices Luffy’s eyes traveling between Ace and Sanji, and Ace quickly looks away.
Luffy takes a bite of his omelet before he asks his burning question. Nothing about Luffy’s expression changes. Not even slightly. “Sanji, are you leaving the crew?”
Sanji’s knife on the dashboard pauses and Ace feels his heart plummet.
“Luffy — ” Ace starts, voice taking a warning edge, but Sanji spins on his heel, face drained of color.
“What are you talking about?”
“I thought since… you know, you and Ace. I thought maybe you wanna leave the crew. Which is okay, Sanji, really, it’s okay . I’m not angry.”
As Ace lets Luffy’s words sink into his skin, he can’t help but turn to Sanji. This is exactly what Sanji didn’t want and the fact that it’s happening is all Ace’s fault. He never should’ve come to Sabaody.
“Sanji — ” Ace starts, but Sanji shakes his head. His fingers are now tightly gripping the counter that separates him from Luffy. His hair falls over his eyes, so all Ace can see on Sanji’s face is the shadow that covers his dark expression. Ace is bludgeoned by ugly, ravaging guilt.
“Just give us the room.” Sanji says, clearly directed towards Ace. “Please.”
Ace does as he’s asked, not wanting to cause any more problems. No. Sanji is mine. He’s my cook. Mine . Luffy’s words ring in Ace’s ears as he lets the door close on a captain and his left hand.
Ace sits by the side of the ship, watching the afternoon sun fall. The heat seeps into Ace’s skin as he listens to the chatter on Luffy’s ship. Chopper is screaming at the top of his lungs as Usopp chases him around with a stick. The kitchen door hasn’t opened in a while now. The sharp bite of sea salt tastes bitter on his tongue, the wind pricking at his skin like sharp needles.
It takes Sanji a few more hours before he appears. He still looks pink-faced as he makes his way down the stairs and Ace moves to get up but Sanji shakes his head.
“Are you okay?” Ace asks, as Sanji moves to sit in the space left next to him. Their fingers brush and even something as stupid as that makes Ace’s heart race.
Sanji’s face is blank, schooled perfectly into nonchalance. “He knows.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, it’s…” Sanji trails off, biting the inside of his cheek. “It was pretty easy to tell him. You want to know how he found out? He guessed. Luffy guessed.”
Ace watches the disturbed waves of the water as they hit the ship’s side. “Was he mad?”
Sanji chuckles, shaking his head. “He said he understands. That’s enough for me.”
Sanji reaches for Ace’s hand that rests in the space between them, lacing their fingers together. Sanji’s thumb brushes over Ace’s knuckles and he doesn’t look over his shoulder once. “You know what’s funny? When I told Luffy, I wasn’t nervous at all. He was okay with it.” Sanji pauses before he speaks again. “He was mostly mad that I let you into the kitchen at night.”
Ace laughs, loud and bright. Sanji draws his knees up to his chest. “Yeah, that sounds like Luffy, alright. He’s a lost cause.”
Sanji hums. “It just… it didn’t feel wrong. And it got me thinking… that it might be okay if we tell everyone.”
Ace’s organs lurch, his heart jumps up into his throat and he’s filled to the brim with this restless energy, pushing him to do something, anything. He glances at Sanji, only to find him already looking. Sanji’s face breaks into a contagious grin, and he grips Ace’s hand tighter, like he never intends to let go.
One step at a time.
*