Chapter Text
He is standing on top of the cliff, wind breezing diffusing into his shoulder-length blonde hair.
The sun has yet to rise, and the dark but warm splash of the sky is comforting as he looks down beneath him. The waves are soaring, almost yelling at him, swallowing him whole.
His constant mutters of “why” are masked under the intense tides. He takes a deep breath, before taking a step further...
darkness consumes him as the sun begins to rise indicating a new day.
Everything was beautiful. Life was perfect for Felix. He was at the peak of his career with Stray Kids, he has a loving family back in Australia, and he has improved so much in singing and dancing. He has 7 loving members constantly there for him to feed his ceaseless need for hugs and affection.
He loved his life, loved his members he considered brothers and he loved a particular one, he loved him, a little bit too much. Not a single word could describe the love Felix bore for him. He was Felix's start as well as his end.
If he had stopped giving in to his heart, if he had stopped loving him too much if he had ended it before he fell into the inescapable hole, his life would be entirely different and he might not suffer this much. He would still be alive. Probably.
Constant giggles followed by the sound of lips smacking echoed in the last stall in the men’s bathroom at the award show they were attending at the moment.
Could they have chosen a better-secluded place to continue their heated make-out session? Yes. But they couldn’t care less as they were busy eating each other out.
“Wait—“ the shorter one halted, pushing away slightly from the taller in front of him.
“You’ll ruin my fit oh gosh Hyunjin!” Felix facepalmed, then lightly smacked the handsome smug on his beloved face.
Both of them were dolled in an expensive black suit with different adjustments and cuts with different touches of embellishments. Felix had a white-fit blazer with a slim belt wrapping his lithe waist and a nice ruffled collar shirt, all complimenting his blond mullet. while Hyunjin with his freshly dyed black hair was dressed in a similar fit but in black with a white flare shirt, accentuating his lean body and legs.
“I’m literally deep tonguing you and you’re worried about that?” Hyunjin snickered, a plan slowly forming inside his head.
“I think we have a bigger, pressing matter........down here”. He continued slowly bringing his slender fingers down to Felix's hard bulging length, almost wrapping it whole when a knock and a way too familiar authority voice interrupted them.
“Kids, yall in there?'' Chan slowly peeped in making his entrance into the men’s bathroom.
“Answer him” the taller silently mouthed while still having his palm pressed onto the smaller’s crotch.
“Y-yeah hyung, I’ll be out in a bit” Felix cursed the heavens answering his leader.
“Louder sweetheart, he can’t hear you. ”
Hyunjin whispered while slowly moving in the most excruciating way to pepper kisses along the tiny blond’s neck. Felix couldn’t help but let out a gasp as he internally swore he would kill Hwang Hyunjin, the man in front of him, the man who could leave him dumbstruck like a dumb puppy for hours, the man he swore to love and cherish for his whole life.
“Y-yeah Chan hyung, I’m having a little situation with my little bowel right here! “ Felix exclaimed while rolling his eyes so hard they might pop out of his eye socket. But Hyunjin didn’t miss the slight smirk shown on that tiny freckled face of his sunshine.
“Alright, little one! take your time in there”. Chan reassured Felix and quickly made his way out of the restroom to find his other 6 missing kids. Fine lines popped on the leader’s forehead as he rubbed his temple clearly tired and just couldn’t wait to crash his bed.
After making sure Chan had truly left, Felix let out a relieved sigh. “You’re so mean!!”.
Felix playfully landed a blow (that is not painful at all it was as light and sweet as cotton candy) on Hyunjin’s left arm that has been gripping the little’s waist for quite some time now.
“This has been fun but we probably have to continue this at home Hyunnie” Felix dragged the tall blonde’s name while playfully swaying his arm away.
“Mhmm… but I don’t want to” Hyunjin nuzzled more into the crook of the freckled’s skin between his nape and his exposed neck. Felix sighed dramatically at the taller’s antics.
“We have to! or else Chan hyung will have a whole SWAT team to search for us!! c’mon Hyunjin!!! I promise you we will pick this up once we’re home!!” Felix replied small hands cupping the tall's face while they stared intently into each other’s eyes.
Holding the tiny hand in his large ones Hyunjin finally yielded away. “Fine… but you promise me a show Lee Yongbok…. a good one.” He smirked wiggling his thick eyebrows.
“Yes, yes fine Hwang Hyunjin, now get along” Felix retorted urging the other man to get out of the stall, clearly losing his patience by a little because no matter how much he wanted to relish in Hyunjin’s love and warmth touch, he knew better than to not worry his leader or else he’d have to sit through his wrath (or a long ass lecture on how they shouldn’t be wandering around and trouble their managers yada yada).
With a heavy heart, he walked out of the bathroom after Hyunjin had gone out and flushed the toilet and washed his hands in the sink to avoid any suspicions. Not that they were any people there aside from the two.
Later that night, they spent their time in Hyunjin’s shared room after bribing Seungmin to sleep elsewhere and a thorough interrogation of an overprotective Minho.
Felix had to endure when the said cat butler asked him so many questions and in his defense, he is the dad in charge after Chan. Minho swears to his ancestor’s grave that as long as he’s breathing, not a single bad thing can touch the babies under his care which are Felix and Innie (alongside his 3 cats).
The smaller nuzzled against Hyunjin’s chest, both of them getting cozy on the taller’s soft mattress. Hyunjin had his long fingers lightly stroking the strands of the blond's hair. Felix hummed in contentment nuzzling more onto his lover’s chest slowly drifting to dreamland.
“Lix?” Hyunjin peered away from his phone to look at the younger after hearing a series of light snores coming from the said blond. A smile made its way on his face as he took in the sight of Felix sleeping soundly on his chest like a baby, so peaceful that he wished they could stay like this forever.
So much on continuing where we stopped just now at home. You owe me a show Lee Felix Yongbok. Hyunjin silently thought before drifting off to sleep, arms caging the younger.
Felix was confused. He might have mistaken all the lovely gestures the other had projected toward him. In his little head, he pictured the most tantalizing scenarios with the said lover (or at least that was what he originally thought the other was to him).
The soft cuddle after a long day of practice, the constant hugs and touches, the possessiveness that was apparent off camera and even when the camera was rolling, the warm promises whispered in each other ears unheard by others but the two of them, the many hookups post dance practices, the rising intensity whenever they make love, making he felt all safe and secured under those strong arms, the aftercare both of them gave following rough intercourses, the stolen knowing glances they shared that went dismissed by the rest of the world.
Felix had it all.
But apparently, he thought wrong. It was a gray area, filled with expectations. And Felix was foolish to think that he actually mattered.
It was the worst 8 months of Hyunjin’s life. Scratch that. It was hell. Tangled in a nasty scandal that wasn’t even true, to begin with, was torturous enough, but for his activities with the group to be halted for god knows how long, was definitely something else, and if it didn’t infuriate him enough it surely did kill a part of him.
They were in the middle of promotion with well-known brands, hell they were busy with Kingdom; another hell that could either make or break Stray Kids near and coming comeback. It was a lot to take in for the 22-year-old Hyunjin. And When touch and love-deprived Felix came into the messy affair, Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel irked simply by the presence of the younger. Not to mention that they almost jeopardized their career one night over a careless mistake both of them made.