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One of your favorite ways to relax with Chan and Minho was to just be near them. This usually involved kneeling or sitting beside them while they worked, or just being in the same room and helping them. There were plenty of times Minho let you unwind with him while you helped him cook, fetching ingredients while he gave you kisses and praises in between. Chan liked to let you sit with him while he wrapped up emails and smaller work things on Thursdays or Fridays, petting your hair or holding your hand before the three of you could relax for the weekend.
Today, you felt the need to relax and be checked in on more than usual, and they were both fine with that when you told them. You’d participated in many scenes with them blindfolded, but usually your relaxing time didn’t involve it. You were a bit more stressed than usual today and thought it might help, asking Chan to put it on you before you sat on the floor next to him. He was working on the couch while Minho sat next to you on the floor as well, loving it when the three of you got to just sit and be.
The color system of safewords was one of the first things Chan and Minho explained to you before you did anything remotely involved with dominance. Green for ‘keep going’, yellow for ‘stop and check in’, and red for ‘full stop’. Boundaries and limits were something they stressed early on, never wanting you to think you couldn’t speak freely or say when something upset you. Whether it was as simple as sitting with them or an unexplored dynamic you were experimenting with, they wanted you to know you could always say how you felt.
It was just the three of you – Chan on the couch, and Minho and you on the floor, your backs to the same couch – breathing in sync. You three had changed into loungewear after getting home from work, knowing you weren’t going to have to go out and could just chill at home. The television was playing a music channel softly, and you could hear the typing of both their keyboards as they worked. They only ever worked on things that could be stopped instantly when you needed to relax like this, not wanting to be distracted if something were to go wrong with anyone involved. It also helped that you had a schedule of doing this, making it easier to plan around and anticipate changes if needed, but also gave the three of you something small to look forward to at the end of a stressful week.
It was about five minutes before the anxious feeling in your chest expanding, feeling less like a buzz and more like a sting. The initial buzz seemed like the edges of subspace to you, but the more it grew, the more apparent it was that you were not floating like usual. You tried focusing on your breathing, on both Chan’s and Minho’s breathing, but it didn’t help as much as it usually did. You weren’t touching either of them, but you desperately needed a grounding touch about right about now, and didn’t know how to ask for it. The anxious sting multiplied throughout your body, making it harder to breathe and concentrate on relaxing at all.
It took a few seconds to realize someone was calling your name, and you blinked behind the blindfold, both wanting it to disappear and afraid it would make things worse somehow. The voice became clearer the more you focused on it, bringing you back to the present.
“Hey, sweetheart. Can you give me a color?” Chan’s voice drifted into your ears, sounding almost muffled. You felt a bit floaty, but this time it was more unclear, without that warm feeling surrounding you like usual. Neither of them were touching you still, and it was both comforting (knowing they wouldn’t touch you when you were obviously upset) and upsetting (because you deeply wanted to be hugged and kissed and snuggled right now).
“Hmm…? Color?” you asked, scrunching your face in concentration.
“Yeah, baby, can we have your color?” Minho replied, his voice right beside you.
“…yellow?” you asked more than said.
“That’s okay, honey, thank you for telling us,” Chan praised, making you feel surer of your words.
“Why don’t we take a second to check in, hmm? Anything hurt, and can you hear us okay?”
You took stock of Minho’s words, thinking it over for a second. “I feel… less floaty… Like a little anxious if that makes sense? I can hear you fine, but I couldn’t earlier.”
“It’s okay to feel that way. Do you want me to take your blindfold off? I think it’s not helping that you can’t see us, sweetheart,” Chan suggested, easily recognizing what you didn’t in the moment.
You nodded, almost near tears at how much the anxiety in your chest loosened at the suggestion. You felt careful fingers untie the blindfold and you had to blink a bit to regain your eyesight. It was evening, so the sun had already set, but the soft colorful lighting around the living room and kitchen area gave you something to focus on.
You turned to see Minho looking at you, having set his laptop aside. “Hi, honey. How are we feeling?”
Your voice sounded shaky when you asked, “Can I have a hug? Please?”
“Of course, honey. All you have to do is ask.” You were instantly wrapped in Minho’s arms, one hand petting your back while the other hand cradled your head gently. He sat there petting you while you focused on your breathing a bit more. You heard Chan move and yanked your face out of Minho’s neck, worried you had upset them somehow. You knew they’d never get upset at you for pausing a scene, but in your head, you felt shaky and scared.
Chan saw your expression and kneeled down between you and the couch, gently taking one of your hands and laying it on his chest so you could feel his heartbeat. It worked like a charm, with your hand scrunching up his hoodie as you closed your eyes and felt yourself relax minutely each second.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Chan said softly. “I was just going to get you some water, is that okay? I won’t leave if you don’t want me to. And Min won’t leave either. We’ve got you, we’re all safe.”
It made you feel a bit better knowing he wasn’t going to leave. “T-that’s fine. Didn’t want you to be upset with me,” you replied tucking your head back into Minho’s neck.
“Don’t worry, I’m not upset. I’ll just be a second, promise,” Chan said. He quickly left to go to the connected kitchen.
Minho continue to pet you and whisper calming phrases to you softly. He told you how good it was for you to tell them how you felt, how proud they were for you checking in, how you could never disappoint them or upset them for needing a break. It made you snuggle further into his embrace.
Chan came back after a minute, some water bottles and small fruit cups in his hand. “I knew you’d want us to eat too, so I just got us all some snacks and water,” he explained, blushing a bit.
“Correct. You two should always have more snacks,” you encouraged, moving to grab your fruit cup without leaving Minho’s side too much. He could tell you wanted to stay close and moved an arm around your shoulders, pulling Chan down to sit with you both on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. The three of you ate and drank for a few minutes, which did wonders for your breathing. Minho got up at some point to grab some extra blankets from the hall, yelling behind him that if you two don’t finish those fruit cups I’ll shove you in the fridge with the remaining ones. You had already seen him try to stuff Changbin in a dishwasher last week and weren’t taking any chances. Chan wasn’t either, as he ate the rest of his fruit so quickly, he started coughing.
You laughed and were rubbing his back as he finished his coughing fit, Minho dropping back down between you two with more blankets than anticipated. “Aww, I see you both headed my warnings. Good,” he said, kissing Chan’s head with a sly grin and cuddling up next to you.
“Thanks,” Chan said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Anyways, back to what we were doing,” Minho said, glancing at you, his eyes going soft. “Are you feeling better? Do you know what went wrong?”
“Yeah… I think it was just the stress of the week, and the blindfold, and not being able to touch you. It just made me feel alone a bit, and I didn’t expect to feel like that,” you explained, taking some sips of water as they both took in what you said.
“That makes sense. It was a lot to deal, especially feeling like you were on your own. We can make sure that you know we’re near next time you want to get floaty?” Chan asked, leaning on the other side of Minho.
“I’d like that, yeah. Is it okay if we just snuggle for the rest of the night? Maybe watch one of those movies that Felix suggested in the group chat?” you asked, mirroring Chan and snuggling further into Minho. He seemed to be pleased at this development, somehow pulling you both closer.
“Excellent idea! But I’m picking, cause we’re all about to fall asleep anyways and you two will not give me some bad comedy that will keep me up again,” Minho concluded, grinning. He picked up the remote to turn on the television as you and Chan tried to, very poorly, defend your tastes in movies and shows. Minho just rolled his eyes and picked one of the first movies he could find, shushing the both of you when the intro started.
The three of you extended the couch into a makeshift lounge area after a bit, full of blankets and various snacks Chan eventually got up to get when his stomach growled again. It got late enough that the three of you heated up some leftovers and snacked on anything and everything in the apartment before deciding to just fall asleep there. You’d eventually get up tomorrow and get to clean and relax and do whatever you wanted, as it was a rare free weekend that the three of you had with Friday mostly free too. But for now, you were just going to relax into Minho’s chest across from Chan, all three of you falling asleep well before the end of the movie, just happy to be with each other.