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The room is dim, only really lit by the silver viewing screen in the corner, which softly blares music and displays chunks of scenes from the romcom, the fourth hideously boring troll romcom Dave had been forced to sit through. So hideously boring that he had fallen asleep halfway into it, and shortly, so had Karkat.
The troll groggily blinks himself awake, wincing.
“Agh, you know you’re cutting off the circulation to my fucking leg clinging on to it like some kind of exotic treebeast or something...move over a little bit.”
Eyes still closed, Dave softly smirks, pulling Karkat closer.
“Come on, dude. I’m exercisin’ my skills as an eucalyptus chewin’ badass right now, you can’t just make me move out of my natural habitat during my process of self discovery.”
“Wow, look at that, valleys upon valleys of empty ass vinyl to your right, on which you could place your ugly butt, rather than numbing my legs and keeping it on me….eugh, I’m serious, I can’t feel my lower half.” He droned on.
“Meh,” Dave shrugged, straightening his shades, which had been knocked askew in his sleep. “You’re a better conversational partner than the couch.”
He struggled to move the taller boy off of him, but to no avail.
“Great, it’s such a comfort that you rank me above a piece of fabric.”
“A cushion. And you’re welcome.” He grinned. “You’re warmer, man. More aggressive. I can’t get that kind of grade A personality from the tundra of icy plastic over there.”
“I won’t be warm for much longer if you keep strangling me with the vicious reptiles you call your legs. Give it fifteen minutes and my body will be nothing but a cold, dead husk. Say goodbye to your conversational partner, he was killed by a pair of limbs in lame red pajamas.”
“Woah, woah, woah, don’t diss the magic pajamas. In fact, that’s probably the reason you’re so tense all the time. Your ass has never experienced the fleecy goodness of the god pj’s.”
“Gee, thanks for reminding me. Strider, just move over” He scowled.
“And once again, you’re welcome. Look, lets just do this…”
Dave got off, moving to his side and pulling Karkat close, his legs hooking around him again.
He makes an uncertain noise. “Uhm...I feel like I’m gonna fall off.”
“Nonsense, Karks, look, I come with a built in seatbelt.” He put his arm around him, securing him with a clicking sound of his teeth.
“I could do without the stupid nicknames for once. I mean, what is so linguistically appealing about my fucking name that everyone feels the need to say it in another godawful way. Just say ‘Karkat’, I wouldn’t think it would be that difficult, but apparently it is, considering almost every maggot eating numbskull I’ve ever been forced to deal with has a different quirky name that is not my name for me.” He blathered on.
“Which reminds me, Terezi has been phasing out of the shadows in all sorts of places lately, cackling ‘butt toucher’ in her terrifying screech that makes her sound like she’s been chugging a bulge for--anyways, maybe you should possibly inform her that I DID NOT TOUCH YOUR DISGRACEFUL DISEASE RIDDEN ASS?!”
Dave raised a hand to his ear, dramatically holding out for a few seconds of pretending like he was trying to get his ears to work again before responding.
“Hey, don’t kid yourself, if you want some of the plush rump that is perfectly fine by me. Nothin’ to be ashamed of.” He notices that the TV is still on and flicks it off with the remote that is sitting on the arm rest.
“I was grabbing for the remote!”
“OR, maybe you were grabbing for a sweet piece of the Strider tush.”
He grits his teeth, glaring at the human.
“Look, the point is, if you say anything to anyone about me one more time, I will shove the entire sorry population of can town up your asshole!”
“See?” He jabbed at his side. “You totally do want to do things to my ass. But this is top notch material here, so I guess I don’t blame you. I mean, baby got back.”
“Did you not have hyperbole on your planet? Strider, I don’t want to touch your ass. I don’t want to touch anything within ten feet of you.”
“Vantas, I think you do. We’re cuddling, aren’t we?”
“No,” He buries his face in Daves’ chest. “You fell asleep on me. Actually, would it kill you to stay awake for one romcom?”
“Right...dude, I sat through at least three of them, each more sappy and strangely violent than the last.” He yawned. “I get it, theres’ the hatefuck one an’ then the three way one and the friendship one an’ then the kind of normal one.”
He was making no effort to contain his Texan drawl at this point.
“That is the crudest analysis of troll romance I have ever heard, my gasps of offense are implied. Do I need to draw this out for you again in detail?”
“No, nonono. Do not draw anymore grids, or charts, or anything along the lines of ridiculous interlocking shapes. You remember the penis ouija? Well, the phallic spirits are pissed the fuck off, dude. I would suggest you lay off the writing utensils for at least a month, lest you accidentally draw some likeness of a diagram. They’re testy little bastards, don’t provoke them or you will be neck deep in supernatural cock before you know it.”
“Oh, fuck off.” He groaned.
“No way, I don’t have the energy to move yet, I’m still tired. Speaking of which, I’m going back to sleep.”
He gave another loud yawn, wrapping his arms around Karkat, but not before throwing his cape around them both.
“Wait..” said Karkat.
“Mhm?” Dave looked up, quirking an eyebrow.
“Just, um…” He chewed his lip, going silent.
“You want me to get the mack goin’ with you or somethin? This wouldn’t be the first time, chill dude.” He laughed quietly.
“The other times were different.” He squirmed uncomfortably.
“Heh...come here.”
He pulled Karkat against him and gently his lips against his, and finally pressing them together, melting them both into a soft kiss.
They continue like this for a long time, letting quiet noises escape into the dark, tiny moans, shuffling as they trace eachothers bodies with nimble fingers. Karkats arms slip around Dave, he shivers. Dave moves the cape more tightly around them.
Eventually it is Karkat who breaks the kiss, and nestles his face into the crook of the others neck.
“You ready to sleep now?” Dave chuckles, rubbing the grub scars at his side gingerly.
He sighs, closing his eyes again and mumbling into him.
“God fucking dammit, Dave.”