Chapter Text
I would never fall in love again
Until I found her
I said: I would never fall
Unless it's you I fall into
I was lost within the darkness
But then I found her
I found you
— Stephen Sanchez, until I found you.
It is now 3 months after the night of the firefighter ball, although that was not the main event of that day for Maya and Carina. That day they decided that they would try IVF to conceive a child together. After a few failed insemination tries and the rough patch their relationship had been through. It was a very important day for the both of them, they decided to start their lives together.
The weeks following were filled with a lot of practicing baby making, a lot of research about IVF and searching for the right doctor. With Carina being a doctor she knew a lot about the subject and she was happy to explain everything to her wife, although she thinks Maya has done more research then anyone and can easily teach a class about it.
—
The blonde firefighter woke up in the middle of the night without the feeling of her wife next to her. She knew exactly what was going on, the past 8 days they had been doing hormonal injections to stimulate Carina’s ovary’s. With two more injections to go there was finally coming an end to these bad cramps and nausea her wife has been having every day.
Maya gets out of bed and follows the source of light to their living room, where she finds her wife sitting up straight in the sofa with a blanket and a glass of water.
Carina startels as she was sitting with her eyes closed to reduce her nausea when her wife’s gentle arms come around her neck.
‘How are you feeling my love?’ Maya whispered in her wife’s ear, with a voice still husky from the deep sleep she just awoken from.
Carina tries to keep in the tears that are prickling at her eyes, she is feeling like a hormonal mess, everything can make her cry these days that combined with bad cramps and nausea is getting heavy on the doctor. Although her wife has been nothing but supportive during the injections.
‘Have been better’ Carina answers and turns her head to Maya to give her a hardly there smile.
The blonde gives her doctor another peck against her cheek and makes her way to the kitchen to get a heating pad and some medicine. Handing the medicine to here wife ‘there you go love, can I take you to bed?’
Carina answers with a short nod, not in the mood to speak much. Both women find themselves back in bed after a quick bathroom stop.
Carina is struggling to find a comfortable position to sleep in but fails at every attempt. Maya senses this so she takes the heating pad and spoons her wife from behind pressing the pad to her lower belly.
Finally getting a sense of comfort Carina relaxes and leans in to her wife’s touch. Maya presses a kiss to the back of her wife’s neck and whispers ‘goodnight beautiful’ and they both fall asleep.
—
Maya was called away in the early morning to a five alarm fire, so Carina was alone in the appartement getting her second last hormonal injection ready.
This morning had been especially hard for her. She woke up having to directly run to the toilet to empty her stomach then getting a call from Jo telling her patient from earlier that week had lost her baby to an unforeseen complication. On top of everything her wife wasn’t here to give her the injection.
The previous injections were combined with words of assurance, love and the most gentle kisses to her abdomen that was completely bruised.
Maya entered the appartement after 5 hours of fighting a horrible appartement fire.
She was able to immediately track her wife’s whereabouts by the loud sounds echoing from the kitchen.
Carina was preparing breakfast but apparently everything was against her today. After one burned batch of pancakes and worst of all a ruined moka pot of espresso. She dropped the plate of eggs as her wife entered the appartement, filling the appartement with a string of Italian curse words.
Maya immediately sensed the mood in the appartement after laying her eyes on her wife for the first time this morning. It wasn’t the first time they had gone through the hormonal injections but this time their doctor had prescribed an other medicine that was stronger because of Carina’s age and the other attempts having failed.
Maya made sure she was there in every step of the way supporting her wife, making sure she did not make the same mistake as a few months prior. Not that there were never arguments, short answers or discussions but they battled their way through it.
Maya immediately strides over to her wife ‘let me help clean this up, just sit down and enjoy breakfast.’
‘No bambina, I wanted to make you breakfast you just worked so hard and I can’t even do that.’ Carina said with a defeated look on her face.
Maya takes the broken pieces of the plate out of her wife’s hand not wanting her to cut herself ‘it’s fine babe I can do it, just sit down please.’
Carina sighs loud, suddenly her patience gone ‘No Maya I can do it, LET ME’ with her last two words she pulls the shards out of Maya’s hands.
Maya usually was very patient with her wife’s hormonal swings but she also could lose her temper from time to time. This being one of those moments ‘Carina, please don’t start this now’ Maya says in a louder voice, only now noticing her hand is bleeding from the shards.
Carina replies immediately without thinking ‘oh I’m sorry me being turkey basterd for the sake of our family is an inconvenience to you.’
With that Carina storms out to their bedroom with slamming door but not without getting a reply from Maya: ‘you are not the only one who can have a hard day you know?’
After taking a few deep breaths Maya cleans out the cut in her hand and puts a bandage around it, knowing for sure her wife will have a closer look at it later.
She cleans the kitchen and cuts up some fruit and yoghurt for her and Carina and starts eating breakfast while browsing on her computer for their possible sperm donor. They had started making a list with donors they liked most, making the choice later on easier.
Maya is so focused on her laptop that she doesn’t hear her wife entering the kitchen again until she hears a soft ‘hi’ coming from her partner.
She looks up, looking into tear stained eyes and answers ‘there is breakfast for you in the fridge’.
Maya was answered with ‘thank you bambina’ and a heartfelt smile on Carina’s face.
They sat across from each other, Carina eating, both of them exchanging short glances across the table. The air in the kitchen was thick, both of them not knowing where to begin.
It could be like that with them, one minute shouting at one another, the next being soft and apologetic in each others presence.
Suddenly Carina’s eyes go wide noticing the bandage around Maya’s hand ‘oh bambina I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you’ getting tears in her eyes.
Maya looks at her hand and answers quickly trying to sooth her wife ‘my love, it’s fine, it’s just a cut.’
Carina gives her wife a soft smile and says ‘I’m sorry about earlier, please tell me about your day.’
Maya immediately thinks back about the five alarm fire and about the twins that they where not able to save, she wanted nothing more then to say ‘it’s fine’ but if there is anything she learned the past few months is that talking helps. Although she didn’t want to put anymore suffering on to her wife she shares ‘we could not safe a couple of twins that was still on the top floor of the building this morning.’
Carina’s face dropped ‘Jo called this morning saying we lost the baby I delivered earlier this week.’
Maya stood up from the table and went to where Carina was sitting, she knelt down and whispered ‘I’m sorry love’.
Carina made a spin on her chair so she was facing her wife and her hands where on her knees. The doctor put a hand on Maya’s face ‘me too bambina’.
A comfortable silence fell over them until Maya asked ‘how are you feeling today?’ while putting a hand on her wife’s stomach where she knows there is bruising.
‘This morning I was feeling very nauseous but luckily that passed, so just some cramping and my boobs are so sensitive.’
Maya nodded and gently lifted her wife’s shirt that showed her bruised abdomen, wishing she could take away the pain but instead she pressed some gentle wet kisses to the place. Hearing appreciative noises coming from her wife she continued doing so while strongly holding on to Carina’s waist.
After giving the blotched place the proper amount of attention the firefighter decides to climb up, very gently kissing her wife’s covered breasts.
Continuing to a neck she can never pass by without putting her nose in the crook of the doctors neck, the smell so intoxicating she could pass out.
Finally reaching her wife’s plumb lips who’s she kisses with such joy and is answered with the same ferocity. Maya is overwhelmed by her wife and whispers against her lips ‘I’m so proud of you’.
—
The next morning Carina woke up once again feeling bad, so glad the last hormonal shot was today. She was suddenly very much aware that they still had to choose the sperm donor because the egg retrieval was coming very close now.
Carina is a women who is very good in stressful situation, her job requirers her to on a daily basis. So she has no idea where the sudden panic comes from, is it the hormones?, or just the realization she could be pregnant in a few days? She had no idea but before she knows it she is waking up her wife with a sudden urgency ‘Maya, Maya’ she says while shaking her shoulders.
Maya startels awake, not knowing what is happening ‘oh my god are you okay Carina?’ Maya scans her wife top to bottom scanning for any injuries but does not find any.
Carina explains her sudden panic and ushers her wife to get up and help her find sperm donors immediately. When Maya calms down from the harsh wake up she is able to calm Carina down and convince her to first give her the hormonal shot and take a shower because they both have the day off and have plenty of time to choose the right donor.
Carina very much prefers her wife doing the injections then doing it alone. Because first off all she can look away and she gets kisses from her wife afterwards.
Today being the last one (the last one for good she hopes) makes it a difficult one, she is so full of hormones and her abdomen is so full of bruises Maya has difficulty finding the right spot. When Maya found a good spot and had given plenty of kisses to her wife’s abdomen they find themselves in the shower.
They haven’t had sex since the hormonal injections began 10 days ago. For them as a couple that was a long time not to have sex, because usually if their schedules allowed it they usually had sex every other day.
They tried it the first day of the shots but quickly stopped because Carina’s abdominal crapping began and she had some vaginal bleeding.
So being in the shower together had Maya on edge, of course she would never complain, she was willing to give Carina all the time in the world to make it also feel good for her. But still she couldn’t stop her hands from wandering off.
After washing the doctors hair she applied a generous amount of body wash on her hands and started with washing her wife’s arms, armpits, neck and back where she added a quick massage that was very much appreciated.
Maya continued with her wife’s breast gently running over them and avoiding her nipples because she knew how sensitive they were. She couldn’t help but think about all the times she got to play with them and have them in her mouth, her wife’s wet, red and swollen nipples after just having sucked them probably one of her favorite sights.
She continued downwards to her wife’s thighs, avoiding her abdomen, giving a few kissed to her wife’s mound and making sure all the soap was of her hands she gently washed through her wives folds. She quickly noticed some blood on her finger and looked up to her wife worried who immediately replied ‘it’s normal’.
Content Maya finished washing her wife and couldn’t help but wonder if her wife wanted to continue her ministrations.
‘Sorry bambina, i’m feeling so bloated but I can help you if you want.’
Maya immediately spotted the guilt on her wife’s face and regretted her question ‘no, love it’s fine I can wait.’
After they ate lunch they sat down on the couch together to chose their sperm donor. After a lot of back and forth and of course a lot of laughter the wife’s decided on their donor.
Ready for the next part of the process the egg retrieval and then the replacement of the fertilized egg. Both wife’s were ready for the next part of their story, to continue their lives together, whatever up and downs may come their way.