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"You know, one day I'm going to teach you the difference between a rappelling harness and a sex swing," Jensen said, wrapping his hands around the straps that were holding him up. "Hint: this isn't a sex swing."
The surface sensor flashed green when Jared disabled it and Jared dropped to the ground and slapped Jensen's ass before Jensen could detach himself from the ropes. "Lies," he said with a grin. "It could totally double as a sex swing."
Jensen rolled his eyes and unclipped himself from the harness as he scanned the interior of the museum. Tall steel cabinets, like the one they were standing on, ran around the outside of the room and glass display cases were scattered throughout the hall, illuminated in the darkness by an eerie blue glow.
"We are not having sex on the job again," he muttered, ignoring the pleasant ache from where Jared had slapped his ass. "We get into the vault, get the goods, and get back out again. There is no getting off involved in this plan."
Jared just smiled as he checked the tools on his belt. "Man, I forgot how uptight you get about this stuff." He squeezed Jensen's ass and whispered, "Lighten up, Ackles."
Jensen resolutely did not think about how hot it was to have Jared whispering in his ear as he checked the room's schematic on his phone. "Okay, the deposit chute should be on the other side of that cabinet." He wound his cord around his forearm as he moved to the edge of the cabinet and tried to gauge the distance. "I can get us across and then you can- Hey!"
The shout was as quiet as he could manage - the guard wasn't due to make his pass for another seven minutes - and he pursed his lips in annoyance when Jared completed his leap across to the next cabinet and looked back at Jensen with a cocky grin. "What do you think - 8.5? 9 for the dismount?"
"You're such a jackass," Jensen said, shaking his head and getting his cord ready.
"C'mon, Ackles," Jared teased. "Put on those big-boy pants and jump already." He got down on one knee. "I'm right here to catch you."
Somewhere between irritaed and amused, Jensen wound his cord back up and stood on the edge of the cabinet. It was high, at least ten feet off the ground of the huge hall, but Jensen wasn't about to chicken out when Jared was watching him like that. Taking a deep breath, he jumped across the gap and was kind of surprised to find that he actually landed mostly on the other cabinet. He swayed, off-balance, but Jared caught him by the arm and hauled him up until they were pressed together chest-to-chest.
"Nice jump," Jared said. "Shame about the landing."
"Don't you have a job to do?" Jensen said, stepping back and folding his arms. "The only reason you're here is because I need your help getting into the vault."
"Baby, if you think that's all I can help you with, you got another thing coming," Jared drawled and Jensen elbowed him in the side. "Okay, okay, I'm on it." Pulling out his tools, he settled on his belly on the top of the cabinet and reached down over the edge to unscrew the panel in the wall. He caught the screws and cover before they fell to the ground and set them back on the cabinet before offering Jensen his hand. "Ladies first?"
Jensen flipped him off. "After you, Sasquatch. I don't wanna get trapped in a chute because you're too big to fit in the hole."
"I don't remember that being a problem in New York," Jared said with a wink before sitting up and swinging his legs over the side. "Fine, I'll go first. You can sit here and marvel at my agility."
"I'm entranced," Jensen deadpanned. "Get in the fucking shaft already."
"Yessir," Jared said and Jensen watched him push off the side of the cabinet, wriggling his way down inside the chute. To Jensen's surprise, his shoulders actually fit through and Jensen followed behind him, fitting the cover back into place as he went.
The chute was dark and tiny, lit only by the glow that made it through the grating, and Jensen eased himself down until it widened out at the bottom near the hatch to the vault itself. Jared was already on his knees working on the hatch sensors, and Jensen pressed his ear to the wall to listen for any guard presence in the main room.
"I love when vaults are in the floor," Jared murmured, his long, nimble fingers moving over the sensor controls. "It's like gravity is helping me to get in and steal things."
"Gravity's your accomplice?" Jensen asked. "Gee, glad to know I've been replaced."
"Gravity was always my accomplice," Jared said with a grin. "You're the eye-candy."
"You're such an asshole," Jensen said, keeping his ear to the wall. "Is that hatch open yet?"
Jared shrugged. "You can't rush perfection." With one sensor disabled, he turned his attention to the second one as he said, "I can't believe we're going to all this trouble to steal a fuckin' tiara. Why can't you need my help on jobs where we can steal manly shit?"
"Because I can steal manly shit on my own," Jensen said easily. "I need your insight if I'm stealing shiny diamond-covered headwear."
"It would look awesome on me," Jared agreed. "You think your princess would let me wear it?"
"She's not my princess," Jensen said. "She's a princess. And no, we hand over the tiara then we get the rest of the payment. No tiara time for you."
"Does the payment include sex?" Jared asked hopefully. "I've seen a picture of her. She's hot. Like, almost as hot as you. A threeway would totally be a good way to express her gratitude."
Jensen snorted. "She's not gonna sleep with you. One, because you're you, and two, because I think she's already hooking up with her chief of staff."
"Wait, Cortese? The hot brunette who gave us the plans?" Jared groaned. "Man, how do you find these people? I keep doing jobs for old rich dudes and you land a gig with a lesbian princess and her hotass girlfriend. Share the wealth, Ackles."
"Sucks to be you," Jensen teased. "I bet those old rich guys are really appreciativ-"
He fell silent at the sound of a noise on the other side of the wall and signaled for Jared to keep as quiet as he could while he listened to the guard pace the length of the hall.
"Is someone coming?" Jared whispered. "Should we make out?"
Jensen waited until the footsteps went away before turning around. "When has that ever worked?"
"Wichita."
"Touché," Jensen admitted, remembering Wichita all too well. "Are you in yet?"
"Maybe after I buy you dinner," Jared said, before disabling the last sensor and pulling the hatch open with a flourish. "It's all yours, baby."
Jensen grimaced as he lowered himself down into the vault. "Don't call me baby."
"Sorry, honeypie," Jared teased, dangling his legs down through the hatch as Jensen hurried to locate the box that contained the tiara, "I'll remember that for next time."
"Such a fucking jackass," Jensen said under his breath as he palmed the key he'd stolen from the vault manager earlier that week and slid it into the right box. It popped open with a pleasing metal click and Jensen removed the thin jewelry box that contained the tiara.
"You got it?" Jared asked, leaning further down into the vault. "Can I see?"
"Like a goddamn magpie," Jensen muttered but opened the box anyway to confirm it had what they wanted. The tiara glinted and sparkled in the light of the vault and Jared let out a low whistle.
"I can see why they wanted that." He grinned. "You should try it on, Ackles. All those sparkles would bring out your eyes."
"I'm a thief, not a vampire," Jensen groused, closing the box up and slipping it into the pouch attached to the back of his belt. "Get me out of here, Padalecki."
He reached up to take Jared's hand but they both froze when the noise of alarms blared through the museum.
Jensen's heart plummeted and he looked up to see the equally panicked look in Jared's eyes as he asked, hushed and angry, "What did you do?!"
"Me? You're the one in the vault with all the alarm triggers! What did you do?"
"Nothing!" Jensen hissed. "You were standing right there and watching me!" The alarm kept blaring and he held his hands out desperately. "Pull me up!"
Sheer panic kept him from focusing too much on how strong Jared was as he hauled him up out of the vault, and he stepped back quickly to let Jared fit the hatch back into place and reactivate the sensors. The alarms kept going, screeching in a regular pattern, and Jensen looked at Jared in confusion. "What did we do?"
"Shh," Jared said, grabbing hold of Jensen and pulling him over to the wall of the museum.
Over the sound of the alarm, Jensen heard the pounding of footsteps as the security guards raced through the hall and the occasional burst of static from their radios. He caught the words breach in the East wing and looked up at Jared in surprise. "There's another break-in?"
"Looks like it," Jared said quietly before smiling at Jensen. "Guess that's good news for us."
Jensen swallowed, thinking through their exit strategy. "How are we supposed to get out? My gear's still on the roof and we can't get out if the guards are in the hall."
"Have you seen how big this place is?" Jared asked. Jensen almost wanted to point out that yes, obviously he'd seen how big it was since he'd been the one planning the heist, but Jared kept talking, "They're all headed to the East wing. All we need to do is wait it out for a few minutes and we'll be home free."
The light through the grate fell across Jared's face and Jensen frowned, still feeling his heart thudding with adrenaline-fuelled panic. "What are you smiling about?"
"What, you don't like a little excitement in your work?" His hands came up to rest on Jensen's hips and his voice stayed low as he said, "You can't seriously tell me you don't get off on this, man. The pressure, the thrill, the thought of getting caught..."
"How is that a good thing? No, Jared, I don't jerk off to the thought of getting arrested and thrown in jail."
Jared grinned and tilted his head down so their noses were almost touching. "That's a shame," he said. "I bet you'd look real good in handcuffs."
His hands edged around to cup Jensen's ass and Jensen shifted as much as the cramped space would allow, finding Jared's thigh pressing between his legs. To his embarrassment, he couldn't ignore the fact that his cock was starting to get hard, either from the proximity or from the things Jared was saying, but he schooled his face into a neutral expression as he said firmly, "Hey, man, if that's what floats your boat, that's cool, but don't start projecting onto me."
Jared chuckled and leaned down closer. His breath ghosted over Jensen's jaw and Jensen stayed very very still as Jared said, "I don't think it's projecting so much as memorizing. You remember Santa Fe, don't you, Ackles?"
Jensen was grateful for the darkness when his cheeks heated at the memory but something in his body language must have given him away since Jared laughed softly. "Guess you do remember. Me, I haven't forgotten a single second of how goddamn respectable you looked in that neat little tux of yours."
He pressed a hot, wet kiss to Jensen's neck and Jensen tried not to gasp at the contact. Jared's tongue swept over his skin before his lips closed in, sucking a hicky into Jensen's neck, and Jensen shivered when he pulled back to whisper in his ear, "I remember how fuckin' pretty you looked when I fucked you in that interrogation room. You had those handcuffs on your wrists and your tux was a mess but you rode me like a fuckin' pro, baby."
"Don't call me baby," Jensen gritted out, feeling Jared's dick harden in his pants and fighting the urge to rub his own dick against Jared's offered thigh. "And Santa Fe was a mistake."
"Was Wichita a mistake too?" Jared asked, inching his way along Jensen's jaw with slow, teasing kisses. "And New York, Cairo, Istanbul, Dubai, Miami..." He trailed off when Jensen couldn't hold back his moan and caught his chin to kiss him just left of his lips, still not giving Jensen the contact he wanted. "That's a lot of mistakes for a perfectionist like you, Ackles."
Trapped inside the chute, Jensen couldn't stop himself from grinding down against Jared's thigh, letting his dick rub against Jared's own as he pushed his hips forward. "God, you're such a jackass."
Jared smiled, stroking Jensen's back in smooth movements while the noise of the alarm and the guards continued on around them. "And you're a tightass," he said. "So neat and smart and in control that sometimes you just need someone to hold you down and fuck all that tension right out of you. Get you all fucked up and messy 'til you're beggin' just to be able to let go."
Jensen bit his lip to hold back his groan as he grabbed at Jared's arms, trying to control himself. "So you're gonna do what?" he challenged. "Fuck me loose?"
Jared's lips curved in a lazy smile. "Awful nice of you to offer, Ackles," he said, rolling his hips up in a slow thrust to let his dick brush against Jensen's through their pants. "Next time we'll have to get stuck somewhere big enough for me to fuck you."
Dropping his head to rest on Jared's shoulder, Jensen failed to stifle his whine when Jared went still against him. "We can't," he said half-heartedly. "We should be watching for the guards to go past so we can get out and Jesus-"
He bit down on Jared's shoulder to stop himself from moaning as Jared moved his thigh again. His dick was painfully hard in his pants and he could feel himself trembling with a mix of adrenaline and arousal as Jared coaxed him into a rhythm. He was overheating, burning up in the close confines with the solid warmth of Jared's body pressed up against him, and he rocked his hips forward with a cry. "God, please, please..."
He nearly sobbed when Jared pulled his head up and crushed their lips together in a kiss. Jared's tongue pushed past his lips, hot and eager and skilful, and Jensen gasped into the kiss when Jared shoved him back against the wall to fuck his tongue deeper into Jensen's mouth as Jensen arched against him.
The tiara box pressed against his lower back and Jensen kissed back harder at the reminder that he was seconds away from coming in his pants while stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry from under the nose of dozens of security guards. The alarm sounded around them; the conquered vault was right below their feet; and the hapless guards were tearing past outside while Jared had his hands on Jensen like he was something else worth stealing, and Jensen writhed in his arms, wanting all Jared was giving him and more as the heat built up and up inside him.
He rode Jared's thigh, needy and shameless and so fucking close to release even as his lungs burned for oxygen. He gasped when Jared broke away to kiss his way along his jaw, and grabbed at Jared's arms to support himself as he ground down in desperation.
"That's it," Jared said with a grin. "C'mon, Ackles. Let loose for me."
"The guards," Jensen gasped, trying to be quiet. "I need-"
It was too hard to explain himself past the jumble of wants and needs filling his head, and Jensen pulled Jared's hand over his mouth as he slipped faster and faster towards the edge. Jared got the message and with Jared's hand held firmly over his mouth and Jared's body pinning him against the wall, Jensen finally let himself go.
He cried out as his release hit him, shuddering in Jared's arms and mouthing weakly at the large hand that covered his mouth as he came in his pants. He sucked in a breath through his nose when Jared followed close behind, burying his head against Jensen's neck as he got himself off against Jensen's body, and Jared dropped his hand to let them both fight to catch their breath in the close quarters of the chute.
"Y'know, you're still the only guy who's ever made me come in my pants," Jared said, lips grazing Jensen's neck, and Jensen smiled weakly.
"Wish I could say the same."
Groaning, Jared pushed himself back upright with a sigh. "One day, you're going to give me details on that and then you're going to spread your legs and look pretty while I out-awesome him."
Jensen raised his eyebrows. "Out-awesome?"
Jared smiled, sated and relaxed. "Hey, you were always the smart one. I'm always the one who gets to make shit up."
"You have your niche," Jensen said, still trying to bring himself back down to earth and deal with the fact that he'd just come in his pants. Ignoring the wetness around his dick, he asked, "Go up and check for guards?"
Jared adjusted his own pants and nodded, climbing the few feet up the chute to check the main hall. "It's clear," he said quietly,and Jensen followed him up as Jared opened the grate to head on out.
They made it up to the roof without incident and Jensen let Jared pull him down to rest against the low wall at the edge of the rooftop as they looked out at the scene below. The streets were lit up with the red and blue of police cars as they clustered around the East wing of the museum and Jensen felt Jared's hand curve around his shoulder as he said fondly, "I don't know whether to thank whoever's in there or feel bad for them."
"Be grateful we're not them?" Jensen suggested and Jared laughed.
"Trust me, I'm grateful. If I was in a jail cell and it was some other guy in that chute with you, I'd be pretty fuckin' pissed."
Jensen glanced over at him, seeing his face illuminated by flashes of color. "I ever tell you you're kinda possessive?"
"I ever tell you that you're the kind of guy who makes me wanna be possessive?" Jared said with a smile before looking back over the city with a sigh. "We should probably get out of here. They're gonna think to search that vault eventually."
"I'll take the tiara to the princess," Jensen said and smiled when Jared scowled.
"Man, you totally get all the best jobs." He smoothed down Jensen's ruffled hair and said, "And you'll wire me my cut?"
"As always," Jensen said, shifting to his feet but keeping down out of sight. "See you around?"
Jared backed off with a sigh that sounded almost wistful and sent a salute in Jensen's direction. "See you around, Ackles." He grinned at him, bright and playful even in the low glow of the city lights. "I hear there's this emerald in Moscow..."