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Published:
2023-06-13
Updated:
2023-06-28
Words:
9,331
Chapters:
6/?
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119
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11,698

SPIDER CHAT I GUESS!!!

Chapter 6

Summary:

Pippi long stockings

Holy shit my phone had an aneurysm, it’s three in the morning like oh my fucking god. What’s so important that child basher had to write a fucking paragraph?

 

Peter’s Poochie

I am no child basher

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Ohana mean’s family ‼️‼️‼️‼️

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

@ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s Poochie @ Peter’s 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Peter’s Poochie

Te golpearé la cabeza tan lejos en el suelo que nunca, nunca, NUNCA vuelve a subir. Luego te romperé el cuello hasta que se broches de presión. Te aplastaré el cráneo en polvo y lo esparciré al viento, y quizás baile en la parte superior del cadáver sin cabeza en el medio de la calle. Hijo de puta te buscaré otra persona importante amar te tendré otro niño y robarlos de ti. Luego venderé de manera ilegal todas tus posesiones y destruirá tu hogar con mis garras culo enormes. Espero que te golpee un autobús, cabrón.

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Holy shit my phone had an aneurysm, it’s three in the morning like oh my fucking god. What’s so important that child basher had to write a fucking paragraph?

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

I am no child basher

 

 

Pippi long stockings

quid dicit puer turpior?

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

What??? That’s not even Spanish???

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Point proven 🫤

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

What do you mean point proven, you didn’t prove shit.

 

 

AI CHICK(Miguel’s local annoyance)

He proven a point lollllll, you’re just slow as fuck 😗😗😗 . You even learnt this language, Boss.

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Fucking imagine not being able to read Latin 😭

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

 

I am not a child basher.

 

 

Ganke

Babes you broke five of Miles ribs, and last time I checked he was 15 soooooo

Maybe you won’t win this one??

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

I am on the verge of throwing myself off a cliff

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Mamì would just pull her Chancla and beat yo ass at the funeral reception. She literally wouldn’t care about the rotting smell because she knows that you could kill yourself in a cooler way.

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

I can’t win 😐

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

I think that’s the point

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Also @Rizz Touch your grammar when you use Spanish needs some work.

 

 

Rizz Touch

You know what can I call you Tìo?

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Oooooooo I’d be HONOURED, let’s go get empanadas!!! I can teach you everything there is to know about using grammar and the stupid prefixes.

 

 

Rizz Touch

Miguel I fire you as Spanish Tutor, Tìo Gabriel is my new tutor.

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

qué coño

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Hey I want empanadas too, Mamì’s working a double shift and it’s boring as fuck.

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Yeah you can come too, unfortunately I can’t take any more kids though because I have $15 dollars left in my account 😭😭

 

 

Ganke

We had rich dudes that died in a submarine accident and I hacked their account for research purposes. Surely I could come and eat too.

 

 

Rizz Touch

BITCH U GOT AN AP PHYSICS ASSIGNMENT DUE IN 24 MINUTES

 

 

Ganke

Oh fuck I only wrote the first sentence.

 

 

Rizz Touch

YOU FUCKING DUMB HOEEEE

 

 

Ganke

Estoy bien I guess

 

 

Rizz Touch

Nahhhh I hope you fail

 

 

Ganke

I hope you get an anxiety attack and then realise it’s your spider senses.

 

 

Rizz Touch

I hope you’re in the room with me when it happens

 

 

Ganke

I hope you fail your next Spanish test

 

 

Rizz Touch

STOP WISHING DEATH UPON ME 💀💀💀

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Or Ganke could come, and I can give him a copy of a finished assignment that my A.I. assistant just wrote.

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

You can’t just do that Gabriel. They gotta learn themselves.

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Tell your dead daughter from another dimension that next time you go into another alternate universe with her in there.

 

 

AI CHICK(Miguel’s local annoyance)

I think you made him cry 😭😭😭

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Tell him I know his search history

 

 

AI CHICK(Miguel’s local annoyance)

🫡🫡

 

 

AI CHICK(Miguel’s local annoyance)

He wants to know your location btw

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Tell him I’ll post it online, all the screenshots and everything if he even lays a finger on me.

 

 

AI CHICK(Miguel’s local annoyance)

Lmaooooooo he says he’ll do anything for you not to do that, like bitch had a whole personality change in 5 seconds 😫

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Man I did not know I had THAT much power

 

 

 

Ganke

If only I could apply that to Miles

 

 

Rizz Touch

I will literally ban you from coming to any of Mamì’s dinners

 

 

Ganke

You wouldn’t she loves me too much anyway

 

 

Rizz Touch

Don’t test me ☺️

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Just opened Tik Tok and there’s this one Spot edit that has Britney Spears music and

 

THE COMMENTS 😭😭😭😭

 

 

Ganke

Omg share Pookie!!!

 

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Just… these comments are not PG

 

 

Ganke

SHAARREEEE

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

I am mildly concerned for you Ganke

 

 

Ganke

Shhhhhh these are gonna be good

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Ay dios mío, you are gonna give a heart attack one day. I feel it in my bones.

 

 

Ganke

I made a teacher indirectly die once during an exam, get in line you’re not the first.

 

 

Rizz Touch

He heightened to the concentration of cyanide in the teachers apple by exposing it to a sealed container filled with concentrated cyanide gas. This idiot swapped the apples around in the teachers' lounge during a break.

 

That pinche coño is SIX FOOT UNDER BECAUSE YOU PURPOSELY KILLED HIM THAT IS NOT INDIRECT 😭😭😭

 

 

Ganke

We all make mistakes

 

 

Hobbyist (anarchy)

I salute you, wrecking the constraints of the enslaved education system.

 

 

Ganke

See this is why Hobie’s my favourite, you should take notes.

 

 

Pippi long stockings

You were complaining about him literally yesterday when he got electrocuted 💀

 

 

Ganke

Everyone should be more like Hobie 👍👍👍

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Anyhow these are the concerning comments

“Where did my clothes go oh no”

 

“it's canon(I got the spot pregnant)”

 

“I JUST KNOW HE KNOWS "THE SPOT" ☺️

 

They all need help 💀💀 , the wtf has my FYP been smoking????

 

 

Rizz Touch

You’re saying PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SIMPING OVER THE GUY THAT ALMOSY KILLED MY DAD???

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

That’s the guy that has no face right?

 

 

Rizz Touch

Yeppers

 

42 wtf is your fyp filled with???

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Basically Spiderverse stuff from Earth 0, we’re essentially just a movie to them tbh.

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

How did you get social media from Eath 0, it’s incapable of interacting with other universe’s?

 

 

Rizz Touch

YOU’RE SAYING THIS SHIT WAS A MOVIE, I GOT CLAWED BY MIGUEL, OUTED BY A SOCIETY OF PEOPLE JUST LIKE ME. MY UNCLE DIED, MY DIMENSION’S PETER DIED AND ITS A MOVIE 😀 ????

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Two movies 👍👍👍 , they’re making a third one and I was a cliffhanger.

 

 

Rizz Touch

Fuuuccckkkk

 

 

Ganke

Ha you have horrible luck man

 

 

Rizz Touch

This has to be bullshit

 

 

Pippi long stockings

No I pirated them, they were decent.

 

 

Rizz Touch

Decent? My life is hella good, what do you mean?????

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Honestly, you’re a goody two shoes

 

 

Rizz Touch

Am not!

 

 

Pippi long stockings

You are

 

 

Rizz Touch

Maybe I have more morals???

 

 

Pork on your fork?

Where can I get the movies a little more legally?

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

I know an Earth variant that sells them at cheap prices

 

 

Pork on your fork?

Oooo?

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

It’s Earth-1218

 

 

Pork on your fork?

Cool, now I just gotta steal a Gizmo 😗

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

Pig if you steal one of the Gizmos I will slow cook your intestines

 

 

Hobbyist (anarchy)

I‘ll tell your Mum that you’re threatening innocent people again

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

Please don’t

 

 

Hobbyist (anarchy)

I‘ll consider it

 

 

Ganke

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLBoJgwv/

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Ganke when Gabriel gets us to go eat, I will snap your neck

 

 

Ganke

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLBo8KsT/

 

 

Pippi long stockings

STOP GIVING TIK TOK LINKS 😀

 

Ganke

No

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLBoaEFr/

 

 

Pippi long stockings

GABRIEL I WOUKD FOR REAL APPRECIATE IF YOU PICKED ME UP RN

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

If you snap his neck you can’t eat out, I am really broke at the moment. Also I just picked up Miles and Ganke from the dorms.

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Hurry plss, my Uncle just had a whole bunch of edibles, bitch in-hailed them quicker that my Dad got shot 7 times. Last time he did that he couldn’t stop talking about how Miguel and Peter were totally fucking. The guy saw them for FIVE SECONDS LIKE HOW TF DOES HE GET THAT FROM A SINGLE INTERACTION????

 

 

Rizz Touch

Seven times 💀

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

I am not fucking Peter. That is an outrageous claim he’s married.

 

 

Rizz Touch

Actually, he got divorced for the second time in a row. And there’s 10 videos of proof that you kiss him.

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

@Dad Parker tell him we’re not fucking

 

 

Dad Parker

I just put Mayday to sleep, now she’s awake and tying to steal my phone again.

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

Pls tell them we aren’t fucking

 

 

Dad Parker

We totally aren’t fucking and I totally don’t have scratch marks running down my back that make it really uncomfortable for me to move around more than five centimetres.

 

 

AI CHICK(Miguel’s local annoyance)

He’s very convincing idk guys 🤷‍♀️

 

 

Pippi long stockings

MIGUELS A DICKRIDER (BIG SURPRISE EPIC SPOILERSSSSSS) 😱😱😱

 

 

Rizz Touch

DICK RIDER MIGUEL FERNANDO O’HARA

 

 

Peter’s Poochie

How do you know my full name?

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

LMAOOOOOO HOW DOES HE KNOW YOUR FULL NAME WIWJAJWIQQJNSJSOWK

 

 

Ganke changed Peter’s Poochie name to Lil’FruitSalad69

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

No

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

You gotta admit it is pretty funny

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

No

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Not even a little funny Miggs

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

No

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

Is no the only word in your vocabulary?

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

Yes

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

NO I MEAN NO

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

I’m not convinced at all

 

 

Ganke

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSLSJVLbd/

 

 

Pippi long stockings

IMMA PUT YOU IN A FUCKING CHOKEHOLD AND THROW YOU OFF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

 

 

Ganke

This wasn’t even the best though 😫

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

 

 

AI CHICK(Miguel’s local annoyance)

He’s so bbg in that Fortnight skin jawkkwqkqk

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

Where did you find this?

 

 

Ganke

Earth 0 Tik Tok idk what to tell you man

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

I am taking both Earth 42 Miles and your phones until I can figure out what anomaly is controlling this Tick Tock.

 

 

Ganke

Bitch you can take it from my cold dead body

 

 

Dad Parker

It’s Tik Tok also you’re sleeping on the door mat next time you come over if you don’t help me get Mayday to sleep right now.

 

 

Hobbyist (anarchy)

NAH THE DOORMAT IS WILD BRUV

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69

The state of the Multiverse depends handing up the phones

 

 

Pippi long stockings

Each time you say the state of the Multiverse 5 million puppies die

 

 

Eyebrows ✨✨

100% proven fact

 

 

Dad Parker

Miguel come help put your daughter to bed or I’ll hook up with your brother

 

 

Hobbyist (anarchy)

NAH THAT IS PROPER CHEEKY

 

 

Pippi long stockings

@Lil’FruitSalad69 ✨✨ can you buy me a edible’s?

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69 ✨✨

No, I might have to buy some for myself.

 

 

Hobbyist (anarchy)

Drugs are bad for you Mr. O’Hara.

 

 

Lil’FruitSalad69 ✨✨

Shut the fuck up Hobie

 

 

Hobbyist (anarchy)

What u gunna run at me on four of dem legs or something?

Notes:

I did research for the swear words lol, also the paragraph at the beginning, was so hard to translate properly. Miguel’s threateningness needed to work properly lol. I did research on some phrasing so it flowed better in general. Again feel free to correct anything because I do not study Spanish.

 

Chancla is flip flop btw

I think this is the most wild chapter I’ve posted thus far 😭