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A young thing named Wyoming lived in Pinkbunny Land. One day, him and his best friend Rhino were walking through a forest in search of liberation. That was when they heard it. A distant shriek.
"I'm Iguana Greg!"
They turned to each other in horror.
"What was that?" Rhinos' long black hair stuck up straight. They waited in that same spot for nearly an hour before they heard the sinful screech again.
"I'm Iguana Greg!"
That was the last straw for Wyoming. He marched through the forest to find the creature that had been relentlessly tormenting them. Rhino trailed closely behind, his hair blowing in the wind. "What do you think it is?" Rhino asked with a glimmer.
Wyoming turned to look back at him, "My guess? An iguana"
Rhino began to fan himself with his hand, clearly distraught. Eventually, they came upon a large tree, and sitting right there on its branch, was an iguana wearing a tutu.
"Well, hello my little cookie crumbs" The reptile purred. Wyoming shielded Rhino with his hand.
"Stay back Rhino! What do you want iguana?"
"Just to ask you a question"
Rhino and Wyoming shared a look. Gathering up his courage, Rhino screamed, "Then ask it, I say!"
Iguana Greg smiled. "I'm Iguana Greg!!!"
"That wasn't a question!" said Wyoming, but iguana Greg ignored him.
"I love you. I'm gonna bite you."
"What? Huh, forget it." Wyoming was about to walk off when he heard Iguana Greg ask a question.
“Do you want to go to a slumber party with 28 iguanas?”
The question seemed weird to Wyoming. 28 iguanas? A slumber party with any more than 27 iguanas was unheard of. This seemed like a very dangerous situation. Wyoming led Rhino away from Iguana Greg. As they walked off, they could still hear his chant in the background.
"I'm Iguana Greg!"
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Soon, they approached a large hole in the ground. A stout man crawled out looking tip top.
"Well, howdy hi there! Nice of you to visit my home! What are you two looking for eh? See, you might've heard of me. Scalpel McGee! Secret candy salesman by day and private prisoner by night!"
Wyoming stepped forward, "We don't want anything you can give us."
Scalpel raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure about that? How would you like to come to my potluck!"
Wyoming had to admit; he did love a good potluck.
"Okay fine! We’ll come in!"
Scalpel smiled and led them into his offensive decorated family bed.
Rhino looked around and cringed, "Those sheets are truly in poor taste." Wyoming snickered and nodded.
Scalpel urged them to sit down, “Please, tell me your names.”
Wyoming grimaced at him, continuing to stand, “Well, I'm Wyoming and this is Rhino” He gestured in Rhino's direction.
All in all, Wyoming was having a terrible time. The food was no good, and at one point Scalpel insisted on taking out his baby (which they mistook for an ancient mummy). He didn't think he could last much longer sitting in front of the roaring child.
"I'm afraid me and Rhino must be leaving now." Scalpel looked offended at best.
"Already? Well, if you say so. I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship. I would even go as far as to say that the three of us have become as thick as Jamaica!" Wyoming cringed. What was his problem? But when Wyoming looked at his companion, he saw something unexpected. Rhino was laughing right along with Scalpel!
“Hey Rhino, I think we ought to skedaddle”
Rhino's hair sank. It was clear he was having a good time and didn't want to leave.
“Liberation isn't going anywhere” Rhino said with a smile, “And it's not every day you have such an exhilarating potluck!”
“Rhino you scallywag!” Wyoming snapped. Rhino's hair once again sank, and he followed Wyoming away from scalpel and the party.
They didn't talk for a while, neither wanting to break the silence. Finally, Rhino spoke.
“I cannot keep doing this Wyo! My heart can't take it! You…. and… me!!!!!! We simply can't go on like this!”
“Oh Rhino, again with the theatrics!”
“Wyo are you gaslighting me!?”
“No, I would never! Please tell me what the issue is!”
“You think me a weakling! You think me irrelevant! First with iguana Greg. You acted as if I was incapable of protecting myself! And just at the party, you completely dismissed me!”
“My goodness Rhino I had no idea I had offended you so! You should have spoken up!”
Rhino shook his head, “You and I can no longer be… I’m leaving to go be with Deazeray!”
“Deazeray!? That psycho?! He tried to kill me!”
“He said sorry.”
“He tried to kidnap you!”
“That's your opinion.”
“Rhino please! Don't do this!”
“No! We came here in search of liberation!”
“And we will find it, I swear Rhino!”
“Wyo… I don't think I can find it with you.”
And just like that, Rhino walked off into the distance. How could this happen? A single tear drop fell from Wyoming's eye.
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Wyoming hated Deazeray with every fiber of his being. Deazeray was always jealous of his good looks. That's why he tried to kill him. They dated for a while, until Deazeray’s jealous rage took control of him. He had friends too. They were also jealous of Wyoming. This was not good. Deazeray was probably just using Rhino to get to him.
“Oh no! Not everything is about you. That is the mindset that drove Rhino away.”
Wyoming looked left and right, “Who said that!”
“Why it was me! Your shoulder iguana! I'm here to guide you.”
Wyoming looked down to find a full-sized iguana perched on his shoulder.
“Will you help me find Rhino?” He asked
“Yes, my little cookie crumb.”
Together the two of them made it to Deazeray's castle. It was suspicious how the shoulder iguana knew just how to get there…
“Iguana Greg, this place looks weird. It doesn't look like a castle; it looks like a cult castle!”
Shoulder Iguana Greg started to sweat, “Wwwwwwhhhhhaaaat???!!!! Why would you think that?!” It was clear he was being deceitful.
Wyoming was lost in thought, “Yeah... This looks just like a--- WAIT! OH MY GOSH! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! It was so obvious all along! You were not inviting us to an iguana slumber party! You were inviting us to your iguana cult! That's why there were 28 iguanas! I knew that was too many for a sleepover. I bet you wanted me and Rhino to be your human sacrifices!”
“Awwwww! Bwaaaaa! Owwwww!” Iguana Greg cried to the heavens. “I'm sorry! Your right! I didn't mean it though! I was wrong. The cult had me! I didn't realize they were taking advantage of me! That's why I used cult magic to come to you in shoulder angel form. I came to help you save your love from the cult before they sacrificed him.”
“I thought he was with Deazeray”
“That beautiful man was a dummy. The cult took his mind and used him to get to Rhino. The perfect sacrifice. You see, iguanas aren't really good at restraining people. They need human puppets.”
“Wow. I was right and wrong. Rhino was in danger, but it wasn't all about me. Maybe we both need to listen to each other more.”
Iguana Greg was so proud, he had a teardrop in his eye.
“Now let's go save Rhino and his beautiful hair!”
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Iguana Greg and Wyoming stormed the castle and took everyone down with their superpowers. Eventually, they found Rhino in the center of an iguana circle, about to be sacrificed.
Wyoming ran towards him, “No! Stop! Rhino!”
Suddenly, Iguana Greg started to float high into the air.
“I'M IGUANA GREG!!!! I'M YOUR IGUANA SAVIOR! I COMMAND YOU ALL TO GET AWAY FROM MY LITTLE COOKIE CRUMB!”
Iguana Greg burst into light, and all the other iguanas started scatter away from Rhino and pray.
Wyoming ran over to Rhino and untied his restraints.
“Rhino, I'm sorry!”
Rhino leapt to his feet, “No Wyoming. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you. I was angry, and I left you like you were rubbish, but you are not rubbish.”
“I forgive you Rhino. And I'm sorry I didn't pay attention to how you were feeling.”
Rhino held Wyoming's hands, “Wyo… we went on this journey in search of liberation… but in the end we liberated each other”
Wyoming smiled and started to cry happy tears.
That was when they realized something. Iguana Greg was gone. He had burst into light while saving Rhino. They started to cry together, but this time sad tears.
“I'm Iguana Greggggg!!!!!”
“Huh!'' Wyoming and Rhino looked behind them. Standing right there was Iguana Greg! Their love had brought him back!
“What's the matter my little cookie crumbs?”
They raced to hug him, “Nothing is wrong now that we are all together.”
As they embraced, Iguana Greg whispered in their ears, “I’m gonna bite you. I love you.”
The three of them went back to their little town in Pinkbunny Land and lived happily ever after❤️