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Intro/1st Selection
It was all too simple in Bachira’s head.
He refused to love.
It was the undoubted truth in his life. He saw love as some sort of chain, one way or another it would cause pain, and Bachira hates watching other people do stupid things like that. He believed it would never come for him, there was no need for an unnecessary addition in his heart for fleeting things like “love.”
Despite being seen as an “outcast” he has a habit of glancing at those around him, noticing how small facial features would redden at the sight of the person they “loved.” His glances had no eye contact, no one could feel the thoughtless gaze Bachira held, at least no one until Isagi Yoichi was found. As soon as Bachira made eye contact with him, his monster chanted “that’s the one, pass to him” over and over again. He himself didn’t know why, but he felt as though the entire world demanded he pass to Isagi Yoichi, a nameless soccer player.
During one of Team Z’s practices, Bachira went to fetch a refill for his water bottle. When he came back, he immediately spotted Isagi, secluded from the loud pointless chats, away from everyone else, away from the light. Bachira unconsciously fell into his habit once more, closer and closer to a bottomless pit.
The wrinkle between Isagi’s eyebrows, the harsh panting, the sweat running down his forehead to then drip off of his chin, the precise yet unrefined pounce at his feet, his eyes, eyes that were different from everyone else he’s seen. Eyes that told him Isagi was in his own world right now, not in blue lock, not his home before blue lock, a whole new world. A world that Bachira wanted to fall into, a world where it would be only the two of them, a place he didn’t know where, but a place where he could belong. A place where Isagi Yoichi would be the first one to notice his gaze, a gaze that was no longer thoughtless.
2nd Selection
It was simple in Bachira’s head.
He refused to love.
Even if Bachira closed off his will to love, curiosity took its place all over his body. His desires, his ego, he wanted to be with Isagi until the end, he wanted to know what would happen if he grew attached, but it was simply the time where he had to part, he had to leave. Why was it so hard? Why was it difficult to walk away, follow Rin, who also created excitement, similar to Isagi, yet different in an indescribable way? But if Isagi were to fall bland, well, Bachira wouldn’t hate anything more in this ego obsessed world than that.
He wanted to be won back, he wanted to be on equal footing with Isagi, no one left behind, so he told Isagi to steal him back, to find him once more, but those words held more meaning, he felt the desire to be saved.
During the time he spent waiting, he went back to his old ways. Watching from afar, being left alone with his monster and himself. His thoughts that kept flooding back, what was the point in all of this?
Did he truly want a friend?
Or was there more?
The only undeniable facts were that soccer continued to be fun, more and more, and the other fact is that he was waiting to find someone to share a world where he would be able to rest easy. A world where his monster didn’t matter, feelings didn’t matter, just a world where he could relax in peace. As soon as he finally saw him again, his savior, his friend, his.. home?.. He knew, he was fucked. It all came back to him, no emotion could describe how happy he felt, how excitement pumped adrenaline into his veins, it was all too precious. Too precious for someone like him to hold, it was not love, it was adoration..right?
“Wait for me, Isagi.”
“Please don’t leave me behind.”
Bachira realized. He thought he was the one ahead, he was the one running from Isagi. But, it was the opposite. On this field, in this match, Isagi was running ahead. Bachira could feel the desperation make home in the pit of his stomach, he could tell, this was sadness.
He lacked the ego to make Isagi acknowledge him. It was no use. If he was to lose, he’d be left behind.
There was no choice, he knew what he had to do. Bachira Meguru’s awakening was unexpected by all, it was difficult, reflecting on his true ego. The ego he used to have before he started relying on others, unconsciously always looking for Isagi, his monster. It was hard to accept that he would be alone after this, he would go back to his secluded ways, but his will to be free overpowered all his desperation, he went for the goal, alone.
He no longer wanted to follow the ego to “rely”, but to follow the ego where he was alone.
It was a decision he chose to make. He refused to love.
“Goodbye my dear monster.”
His final shot, the goal that represented Bachira’s ego to fight alone, a battle where he would no longer need anyone else but himself.
It was stopped. Someone interfered, and it was no other than Isagi himself. Even at the end of Bachira’s resolve, Isagi found him. A play where Isagi believed that Bachira would get here alone, a side of him that was never shown. The only one who’s been receiving Bachira’s passes all this time, the one who caused Bachira to open up about himself, the one who first learned about the monster he held, the one who caused Bachira to learn what love is.
No matter what path Bachira would’ve chosen in this match, all endings would include the fact that Isagi Yoichi found him. No matter how much he ran, no matter how much he hid, at the end of his lonely road, Isagi Yoichi would be there, standing in front of him. But it’s okay, he learned to be independent. He knew he could live without Isagi now. He accepted it. After all, he knew, as much as he is alone, Isagi would always remain in his heart.
Bachira no longer needs someone to save him, the only one who could, is himself. (Yet he still holds a small space in his heart for Isagi to stay in, unwillingly.)
3rd Selection
It used to be simple in Bachira’s head.
Yet, he still refused to love.
After all, there was no need for it. Isagi was important to him so it didn’t matter. Playing soccer with him, laughing with him, being able to smile with him. It was all Bachira wanted, and he could keep Isagi by his side, just a little more. Even if it was selfish, he’d pay the consequences later, it was not love.
…. (His resolve was chipping away.)
U20 Match Arc
During a practice match for the upcoming U20 match, Bachira walked up to Reo and asked a question out of the blue.
“Reo!! I have a question!!” yelled Bachira, smiling cheekily.
“Bachira? Sure.. go ahead?” Reo said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly, he knew Bachira was a little.. unique. What kind of question would he come to Reo for?
“You love Nagi right? But you got rejected right? What do I do to get rid of its existence?” asked Bachira, recalling the time where Isagi told him about what happened during the second selection where Reo and Nagi had some sort of argument.
“Eh!? Bachira, where’d that come from? We just had some issues in our friendship, we don’t like each other that way.. Speaking of love.. I’ve seen the way you look at Isagi, what about that?” replied Reo, his tone had clear uncertainty then quickly changed the subject. Bachira didn’t mind.
“Ughh that’s my probl-” Bachira said, until he got abruptly interrupted by Rin kicking the ball towards Bachira, who stopped it effectively, yet still distracted.
“Bangs! Get back in the game, how lukewarm..” complained Rin, running forward, past Reo to get ready for a pass.
“But Riiiin.. I’m having a problem right now!!” whines Bachira, passing the ball with finesse towards Rin as Reo sighed.
“Bangs, we’re on a fucking field. The problem is that you’re chatting during a match, come on.” grumbled Rin, now being chased by Reo who was giggling.
“Fine.. I’ll figure this out later.. soccer’s the number one priority!” said Bachira, not directed at anyone, just a reminder for himself. As soon as he zoned back into the game, his senses were heightened, but in the corner of his eye, he could sense the familiar ego compacted striker.
“Isagi.. this feeling in my stomach is really getting on my nerves.” mumbled Bachira, dribbling past Kurona who attempted to steal the ball.
He knew either way whether Kurona took it or not, somehow, Isagi would end up with the ball again.
Kurona smiled, he heard it all.
….
Love became complicated, Bachira’s head was a mess, it was simple no longer.
“Bachira, I uh.. can I talk to you for a bit? Over there?” asked Isagi, who walked up to Bachira during their break in the cafeteria.
“Sure Yo-chan! Is there a problem?” replied Bachira, smiling as per usual, following Isagi to another part of the cafeteria where no one was sitting.
It was awkward as soon as they sat down. Bachira felt as though the air thickened, he felt fidgety, he wanted the atmosphere to be light again, he spoke up first. “Isagi it’s alrigh-”
“I think.. I might be falling in love with you.” blatantly said Isagi, staring at Bachira’s eyes, dead serious.
.
.
.
“..You’re.. joking right?” said Bachira, praying his ears were fooling him.
“I.. I’m sorry, I just felt like I had to tell you about it. I’m.. I’m not sure what it is yet.. but my gut told me it was love.” hesitantly said Isagi, scared, he was scared.
Bachira could see the fear in Isagi’s eyes, did he look like that too? Clouded with confusion, darkened by desire.. overtaken by that nonsense.. nonsense labeled “love?”
Suddenly everything went silent. There were still chats from the other side of the room, but to them, it was dead silent.
Bachira wasn’t ready. He refused to love, it was supposed to be simple, love was horrible, love was something that muddled into lives, the desire of it is too much. Isagi is someone who deserves all the love in the world, love that Bachira could not give, Bachira was a selfish person, love is a distraction, he wanted to be free, he-
Bachira’s thoughts spiralled, he dared to look up, expecting to see a disappointed face, but instead, he was met with Isagi’s genuine smile. “Meguru.. it’s okay. I didn’t want a response, I can tell, in your eyes, we’re in the same boat here. We’re not ready for a relationship, we aren’t prepared for love, and that’s perfectly okay. For me, it’s enough to play soccer with you.” said Isagi, gently picking up Bachira’s shaking hands. Bachira’s eyes must have given it away.
“Isagi.. I- I mean Yoichi.. Thank you.” Bachira smiled, squeezing the hand he held close. He did not fully comprehend Isagi’s words, but he could tell what they were just by looking at his face and slow actions.
Isagi continued, making eye contact with Bachira, stealing the gaze that was meant to be from afar, yet it was right in front of him. Neither could look away, it was simply impossible. “When the time comes, I’ll be able to open my heart completely to you. But that time is not now. I just simply wanted to know if you would accept it, if you were willing to wait for me to be able to confess with my whole heart.” said Isagi, gently, it was the most patient voice Bachira has ever heard.
Bachira’s expression softened, it was a quiet moment between them, so he continued the tone reserved for only each other. “When that time arrives, I will accept you into my heart. I promise to learn to love you then, I hope you’ll be able to adapt with a new aspect of ego, you egoistic striker.” smirked Bachira, feeling all his troubles leave his body, only leaving a gratifying feeling remaining, and a few little butterflies that failed to be removed from the pit of his stomach.
While that time is not now, Bachira Meguru no longer refuses love, but will allow it to seep into his soul, slowly, almost like poison, but love is not poison, not anymore. Love is something to be gained on the road. When it blossoms, only then will Bachira truly accept his feelings and learn to love Isagi Yoichi. Only then when their independent paths intersect will a new world wake, the world that Bachira would only find in Isagi’s eyes.
A tale of how Bachira Meguru would learn to love.
End/Fine <3