Chapter Text
Izzy was going to kill himself.
"Do you know Warrior Cats?" A deep voice said from below.
Izzy's head snapped up instantly. He was no longer looking at the rushing water below the bridge he was about to jump off of, wondering how badly it was going to hurt, instead he was wondering what grown man just asked him that question.
Izzy looked down to his side, and there stood possibly the most beautiful man he'd ever seen, looking up at him expectantly.
"L-like the book series?" Izzy asked cautiously.
"Yes, the book series." The man nodded.
"Why?"
The man huffed with annoyance, "Okay, so, I'm the leader of a clan of cats—"
"Shut the fuck up right now. The fuck are you saying to me?" Izzy was interacting with a crazy person, he was probably going to get stabbed.
The man put his hands up defensively, "Oh, so when people do fuckin' war reenactments, it's perfectly normal!" He shook his head, "but when a couple of buds want to reenact Warrior Cats it's weird?"
"Yes!" Izzy nodded. "Insane, even!"
The man stared at Izzy for a long moment before speaking again. "I'm gonna ignore that, and just continue my explanation."
"I'm not gonna listen."
"Yes you will," the man smiled and Izzy felt something in his stomach grow fuzzy, "so, I'm Ed. And I'm the new leader of a clan of cats after we killed our old leader." Izzy must've looked shocked, because Ed quickly explained, "we didn't actually kill him! Fake killed. More like overthrew him. Anyways, we're kinda at war right now and I need a second in command."
"You want me to be your second in command?"
Ed nodded excitedly, "what do you say?"
Izzy looked back down at the rushing water, then to Ed. With a sigh, he stepped down from the edge and offered Ed his hand. Ed took it eagerly and they shook hands.
"I'm Izzy, second in command."
"Who's this?" A large man with a white beard asked as soon as Ed and Izzy walked into the dense trees.
"This," Ed began with souch flourish, it made Izzy nearly blush. He didn't blush though, because he didn't do that. "is my new second in command because none of you wanted to do it."
"He's fucking tiny as FUCK!" Another man yelled. He was tall, with a mullet and handlebar mustache. He didn't look like he'd read Warrior Cats. In fact, Izzy looked at the men he was surrounded by, they were all very cool and wearing leather. How did any of them reenact Warrior Cats?
"Does he even talk?" Handlebar mullet spoke again with a loud burp. "He's been preeeeetty silent."
"He talks." Ed turned to Izzy, "talk, please."
Before he could stop himself, Izzy said the first thing on his mind.
"Why the fuck are you lads playing cats in a family park?"
"Did you just call us lads?"
Handlebar mullet looked at Izzy like he was a weirdo, but he wasn't the one who played warrior cats in a park in his free time…well, he didn't until now.
Izzy shuffled awkwardly, not sure what to say. "You lot?"
"Why do you talk like that? This is America."
"I'm from England!" Izzy was gonna kill this guy and then himself.
"Okay, Calico, maybe let the newbie settle into the clan before you go making fun of him?" Ed gently pressed a hand to Calico's chest, a calming gesture that didn't work. After the two shared a tender smile, Calico grabbed his wrist and quickly twisted his arm behind his back.
"I TRUSTED YOU!"
Calico laughed harshly, "NEVER TRUST A BASTARD!"
Izzy really didn't want to be there anymore. A gentle warmth settled on his shoulder, he looked to see a chubby hand. His eyes trailer up the arm until he made eye contact with the man with the white beard.
"I'm Fang." He smiled with impressive cheekbones.
"Izzy."
"That your real name, or cat name?"
"...Real name." Izzy hesitated to answer. Then he suddenly felt as though he needed to explain, "Well technically it's a nickname, my real name is Israel."
"Nice name. I like it!"
"Thanks. I like yours too."
A faint blush spread across Fang's cheeks and he looked down shyly, "oh, don't joke with me."
"I don't joke." Izzy used his serious voice, so fang would know he was being completely honest. But Fang just looked slightly concerned.
"You must be fun at parties!" Calico butted in.
"Don't go to parties."
"Jesus, what do you do?"
"Work."
"And!" Ed grabbed him in a one armed hug around his shoulder, "you play warrior cats! Yay!"
Izzy nodded slowly "Yup."
He played warrior cats.
Izzy watched Ed climb on top of a tall tree stump with some difficulty, he was wearing a knee brace so he probably shouldn't have been climbing on anything, but he struggled his way up anyways.
"I," Ed made immediate eye contact with Izzy, "Am Blackwhiskers! Your leader!" The men surrounding Izzy cheered. "We defeated Hornigold," more cheers, "now we must defeat the Gentleman Pussy!"
Izzy did a double take at that. Either some idiot named himself after female genitalia, or they were about to fake fight a 13 year old boy.
Ed's speech continued, "The Revenge clan has been seen taking camp near the pond! That's our territory!"
"Yeah!" Calico yelled directly in Izzy's ear, "Ours."
"I heard him," Izzy gestured to Ed with his head, "you don't have to say anything." Calico just shrugged and looked back at Ed.
"WE'RE GOING TO GET IT BACK!" He finished his speech powerfully and jumped off the stump, wincing slightly and touching his braces knee for a moment. "LET'S GO, CATS!"
The Gentleman Pussy looked about as ridiculous as Izzy expected him to. He was dressed in a teal suit, and seemed to have been wearing a waistcoat embroidered with flowers. His undershirt must've been lacy, because he had some white lace poking out from his suit sleeves.
Izzy didn't like him much.
He was talking to someone much shorter when Ed approached him. He decided his plan was to surprise attack him. Go in under the guise of a peaceful conversation, then ATTACK, at his command.
"Will that work?" Izzy asked nervously. Why was he nervous?
"Only one way to find out." Ed winked so coolly
Now they were standing just on the edge of the trees, watching as Ed sauntered up to Stede where he stood beside the pond.
Once he made it to him, Ed looked…Embarrassed? He quickly turned and speed walked back to the trees.
"What's going on?" Calico asked.
"He has his fucking kids with him. They're watching the ducks!" Ed gritted out with a blush on his cheeks. "We were misinformed. That could've been a shit show!"
Izzy nodded in understanding. Then wondered:
Who the hell fucked a guy who LARPS Warrior Cats and goes by The Gentleman Pussy?
Since they didn't go into battle with The Gentleman Pussy, Ed decided it was time to celebrate Izzy's arrival into their group.
"Do you like milkshakes, Izzy?" He asked, engulfing the man in a one armed hug as they walked out of the park.
"I'm lactose intolerant."
"Aw, bummer!" Ed pouted, "well, today's officially your warrior cats birthday, so what do you want to eat?"
Izzy was silent for a long moment, looking at his feet kick rocks while he walked. He was going to kill himself earlier and now a beautiful man was trying to take him out to dinner for his cat birthday?
Izzy didn't know what to do. It was all too much. Everything started to feel fuzzy in his head and he started laughing. Ed giggled with him.
"What's so funny?" He jostled Izzy a bit.
Izzy looked into his big eyes and shook his head, "Today's my actual birthday."
"Well, second in command, happy birthday." Ed smiled down at Izzy with a warmth he'd never felt before. Izzy's heart began to speed up, he felt breathless.
He was dying.
This was what dying felt like.
Ed's gaze slowly drifted away from him and towards Jack, Izzy hated that. An ugly feeling grew in his stomach.
Jealousy.
Izzy wasn't dying. Izzy was feeling something he'd never felt before. Something he didn't recognize because he didn't think he was built for it. Didn't think he deserved it.
Izzy had just fallen in love.