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Memories Can be the Worst Form of Hell

Summary:

Katcha has been running from her past for years. Desperate to find her brother that ran off to sail the Grand Line, she managed to smuggle herself onto a pirate ship of men, keeping her own gender a secret... Until it wasn't.

Since that night, her vocal chords locked, as well as the ability to admit to her own gender. So when she's offered a spot of the Going Merry, she introduces herself (while writing in a shitty book) under her brother's name.

She never expected to fall for the woman-loving chef. Then after separated from her crew...

Well. She finds herself again.

Chapter 1: Chapter One

Chapter Text

“A woman?” Katcha shrank back in the medical bunk, attempting to hold the blankets to her chest as the group of men stood above her. She’d been whipped the night before and had assumed that she’d be safe to sleep without a shirt as long as she kept her bindings on.


She’d been wrong. The fucking doctor. 


Tears burned the backs of her eyes as she stared up at the captain. He’d been so kind to her when he thought she was a boy. She’d cut her hair, she’s binded her breasts, she had even gone through weeks of not bathing to keep up the charade. 


But now… Now they all were just staring at her like she was a piece of meat. “Please-” That was the only word that she was able to get out before they were everywhere .


Katcha shot up quickly, panting quietly from the memory. The sun was filtering between the leaves of the tangerine trees she’d curled under the night before. But the blanket… The blanket was new. 


Eyes wide, she searched around, freezing when she noticed movement farther into the line of trees. A group of people were digging up a few trees from their roots. Blinking, she carefully stood up, moving as silently as possible to avoid notice. 


Being noticed was never something she wanted. 


Her hands moved to her chest. Bindings and shirt were still in place. Then to her head. A few strands of mousy hair had slipped from her hat, but she quickly tucked them away, panic almost overtaking her as she tried to figure out who had given her the blanket. Who had found her at such a vulnerable state?


“Are you alright?” 


Katcha jumped almost a foot in the air before whirling around, dull green eyes as wide as dinner plates. A woman stood before her, head tilted to the side. Bright orange hair fell over her cheek as she stared down at her. 


“I saw you before I went to sleep and thought you might be cold.” She explained and Katcha tried her best to force words from her throat. Even if she sounded like a woman, it wouldn’t matter. If she could just… Talk again. Since that night, she hadn’t been able to speak. A few noises here and there escaped, but no actual words. 


Finally, she gave up, tapping the bottom of her throat weakly. “You can’t talk?” The girl asked, her voice gentle as she took a step towards her. Katcha nodded slightly. 


Usually when someone realized that she couldn’t speak, they would leave her alone. Not this woman, though. No, she pulled a book from her pocket as well as a pen. “Can you write?”


Communication. She wanted to communicate? 


Slowly, Katcha nodded, watching the woman hurry towards her. “I’m Nami.” She introduced herself before offering the book forward. 


Gripping the book and pen, Katcha wanted so badly to scrawl out her actual name… But she couldn’t. Just like she couldn’t speak, she couldn’t take back what was stolen from her. 


The last time she was a woman, she’d been hurt. Badly. 


“I’m Nor.” She offered the book back to Nami who nodded slightly. 


“Nor. Interesting name.” She hummed. “You seem a bit lost. I’ve never seen you on the island before… So I guess you’re passing through?” Katcha nodded silently, keeping her eyes on her feet. Even though she was able to hide her breasts, she knew she had soft, feminine features. And she just… Wasn’t ready to be called out. “Do you have a plan to leave?”


That caught her attention and she shook her head slightly. 


If she was honest, she wasn’t even sure where she was going. Her brother, Norta, had disappeared years ago and she hadn’t heard a peep since. She wanted to find him, knew that he wanted to sail the grand line… But she didn’t even know if he was alive anymore. All she knew was that she’d search for him until she either found him or died. “Where are you headed?” Nami’s voice snapped her out of her own thoughts. 


“Grand Line.” Katcha showed the pages to Nami who offered a gentle smile. 


“Why don’t you come with us?” Her brain short-circuited. “We’re pirates but-” Nami continued talking as Kat felt her pulse squeezing her brain. 


Pirates. 


Pirates were the kind of people who’d ravaged her home. The people that she’d tucked herself away under the deck. The people she’d worked her ass off only to be…


“Nor? Do you have any kind of skills? Luffy isn’t really picky.” Nami’s voice was so light-hearted. Her face was so open. She… She was a woman and she seemed completely at ease. 


“I can help cook and clean a bit. But I really enjoy writing.” Katcha’s hands moved faster than her brain. 


Nami’s eyes flickered over the pages before grinning. “I bet Luffy would love to have someone write down all of his adventures. Want to come?” 







“This is Nor, he’s coming with us!” Nami explained as Katcha stood beside her on deck. 


Her heart felt like it was going to explode with anxiety. So many men. 


Luffy, the captain, was shorter, but lean, dark hair, dark eyes, straw hat. Then there was Zoro. Three swords strapped to his hip, short green hair, dark eyes, scar across his tanned chest. Usopp. Thin, dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes, long nose. Sanji. Slim, but tall. Insanely long legs. Blonde hair covering his left eye. Grey-blue eyes, curled eyebrow. 


Men. 


She was regretting this decision, but they were already so far from shore and she was not a strong swimmer. 


“He’s going to write about our adventures.” Nami swung an arm around the shorter woman’s shoulders and Katcha had to physically keep herself from tensing. Her hand was way too close to her tit. And yeah, she was good at binding, but there was still a lump… Though, looking at Zoro, her tiny little bump wouldn’t mean much. 


Luffy’s face broke into a huge smile. “That’s awesome!” He practically screamed as he hurried towards Katcha. “Can you fight? Or cook? Or-”


Nami shoved him back. “What he can’t do is talk, so back up!” She snapped before pulling the book from her bag. “We’ve been talking through this book. When we dock again, I’m going to see if we can find something a bit better for us.” She offered the book to Katcha with a warm grin. 


“I can help cook, clean, fight a bit, but overall I’m a very fast learner.” She could feel herself tearing into her bottom lip, but she was too busy praying that this crew accepted her. Accepted her and didn’t… Didn’t hurt her. 


“I’m always happy to have a sous chef.” Sanji perked up after reading the message. Katcha nodded quickly, happy to be helpful day-to-day. 


Usopp nodded. “And having another set of hands to clean will be nice. Especially with Luffy and Zoro walking around.” He hummed. Her shoulders fully relaxed. At least she’d be needed. 


“What the hell does that mean?” Zoro snapped, taking a step towards Usopp. 


Within a few moments, the swordsman, the sniper, and the captain were all chasing each other around the ship, Katcha’s chest jumping with giggles.


Sanji rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Nor, let’s make lunch.” His voice was lazy as he headed towards the back of the ship. Katcha said nothing as she hurried behind him, a hesitant smile on her face. 


Maybe this crew would be alright. Maybe she’d be able to make it to the Grand Line this time.