Work Text:
Dubai, late February 2023
Daniel heard the door open and close.
Heard Armand walk across the room and toe off his shoes.
Felt Armand carefully lift the covers on his own side of the bed and slip in next to him fully clothed, which wasn’t something Armand had ever done before.
Daniel didn’t open his eyes, because opening his eyes would mean he'd have to face this thing head on. This thing that had been hanging over them like the goddamn sword of Damocles for months. That he himself had put a deadline on.
He wanted to go on pretending things could stay as they had been. Just a little while longer.
He moved his hand towards Armand across the mattress. Armand met him halfway and linked their fingers together. His skin was warm against Daniel’s. That probably meant he’d just fed, but it didn’t have to mean that; Daniel had been feeling cold since he’d woken up that morning.
Daniel had had a fucking terrible day so far. His legs hurt constantly now, even if Nasir rubbed them three times a day and pumped him full of painkillers and Daniel did all his exercises like a good boy. The tremors hadn’t been that bad, but that was only because Armand was suppressing them by giving Daniel his blood at the smallest sign of a wobble and working his vampire mojo on his brain.
Daniel hadn’t been this doped up – on legal drugs as well as ancient vampire blood – in years, and it wasn’t even getting him hot and hyped up like it used to. The food he’d been brought that day had all turned to ash in his mouth. They’d gone from fucking like rabbits all over the apartment to maybe some heavy petting before bedtime, because Daniel’s body just couldn’t take it anymore.
Because those youthful years he’d spent living like he was going to live forever or like he was actively trying to kill himself (which all kind of boiled down to the same thing somehow) were this close to catching up with him.
Daniel closed his eyes more tightly and sniffed.
Armand didn’t say anything, for which Daniel was very grateful, but Daniel knew he was waiting.
For Daniel to finally say Yes, to accept what Armand had offered.
A way out. Strong and healthy forever.
All he had to do was say the word.
They both knew Daniel was going to say Yes. They’d known it from the moment Armand had brought it up, because they both knew the type of person Daniel was. And neither of them was ever going to accept the alternative.
But actually saying it, actually committing – admitting that that was still what he wanted… Well, that was fucking terrifying, wasn’t it?
What if it didn’t work? What if Armand took too much of his blood and Daniel just died? What if vampirism didn’t fix him and he had to live forever as a decrepit old geezer? The laughing stock of the vampire world.
What if Daniel couldn’t bring himself to kill people? What if he liked killing people? What if he couldn’t stop once he’d started? Killing three, five, ten people each night.
He'd been an addict nearly all his adult life. The idea of becoming addicted to murder was absolutely ridiculous. Or it would have been if it hadn’t been so fucking likely. Unlike the drugs, which were all very good at making Daniel think he would die if he didn’t get his next fix in time, he would actually need the blood to survive.
And what if they ended up hating each other? If Daniel didn’t turn out the way Armand had hoped? If immortality turned out to be just as much of a bad trip for Daniel as it had been for Louis?
What if Daniel ended up hating himself even more than he already did?
What if…?
Daniel took a deep, unsteady breath and Armand squeezed his hand a little more firmly.
Daniel opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Armand, who looked back at him, his eyes wide and sad, the rest of his face a blank mask.
“How long?” Daniel croaked. “How long since I told you I’d give you my answer within a week?”
“Six days, 23 hours and 42 minutes,” Armand answered without looking it up. He had probably been counting. Could probably tell Daniel exactly how many seconds he still had until the deadline.
“I guess you’ll be wanting that answer, then.”
“That would be preferable, yes.”
Daniel sighed.
After a minute, Armand said, “I don’t want to pressure you.”
“I know.”
“But you did promise.”
“I know.”
Armand turned onto his side and caressed Daniel’s cheek with his free hand. Daniel closed his eyes for a moment and covered Armand’s hand with his own, holding it in place. “I called my kids today.”
Armand said, “Oh?”
Which was pretty hysterical because there was no way he didn’t already know about Daniel’s phone calls to his daughters. A mouse couldn’t take a piss in this place without Armand being aware. Daniel couldn't skip a meal or be two minutes late taking his meds without Armand getting on his case about it and threatening to have his medical team tie him down and hook him up to an IV or stuff a feeding tube down his throat (though he had let up a little since their fight).
Daniel was still stalling. And Armand was letting him.
“Had a good talk with Rachel.”
Armand hummed like he was interested in hearing more.
Daniel just said, “Yeah.”
It really had been a good talk, they’d both agreed it had been, just like they’d both agreed that it was shitty that they had never been able to have a good talk until now, when Daniel knew he was dying. He'd talked to Rachel for nearly two hours. About what she was up to these days, her work at the hospital, her (lack of a) dating life. About how Daniel had been a crap father. How she’d turned out reasonably okay anyway. How he was proud of her.
They’d both known it was him saying goodbye. They hadn’t said it, but they both knew.
“And your other daughter?” Armand asked like he didn’t already know about that as well. “Laura?”
Daniel shook his head. “Didn’t pick up.”
“That’s a pity.”
“Yeah.”
“Perhaps she was at work. Unable to take your call.”
This conversation was a fucking joke.
“I tried three times, different times of day. She doesn’t want to talk to me. Can’t say I blame her.”
“I could…” Armand started before shaking his head and pulling back his hand, which Daniel had still been holding to his face.
“You could what?”
Armand shook his head again and rolled back onto his back. “Nothing. It’s foolish.”
“Armand.”
“No. I don’t want to upset you.”
“Well, you’re upsetting me now. Just say it.”
Armand looked at him for a couple of seconds and breathed out loudly through his nose. “I could compell her. To answer your telephone call. If that was what you needed.”
Well, damn.
Daniel turned onto his side so he could look at Armand more closely. “You can reach that far?” he asked. Laura lived in Michigan, which was about 8,000 miles from the penthouse. The idea that Armand could influence her from here was…a lot.
“I can.”
“You ever long-distance me?”
Armand pursed his lips.
“Armand.”
“Not since I blocked your memories, back in 1985.”
“And before that?”
Armand gave a tiny shrug. “I did sometimes suggest to you that you should return to me. When you ran.”
“I fucking knew it!” Daniel extricated his hand from Armand’s grip, using his free hand to speed up the process. He flopped back onto his back, which was a mistake because moving that quickly made his head spin.
“I’ll not apologize,” Armand stated simply.
Daniel took a deep breath. The world was still spinning around him. Closing his eyes didn’t really help, but it did give him an excuse not to look at Armand. “Whatever,” Daniel said. “I’m over it.”
“Are you?”
“No. But we're not going to get into a fight over some shit you pulled 38 years ago. We’ll be here all month and I don’t have time for that, remember?”
Okay, so maybe that was a low blow, because Daniel knew Armand had barely been thinking of anything but the fact that Daniel was running out of time for weeks. Especially since they’d agreed on that dumb deadline. But Daniel wasn’t about to apologize either.
They were silent for a while, not looking at each other.
Daniel imagined he could actually hear a clock ticking.
He felt like an asshole.
“I love you,” Daniel said. Which wasn’t him apologizing.
It wasn’t.
“I love you, too,” Armand replied.
“C’mere.” Daniel lifted his arm and Armand slotted in against his side, his head on Daniel’s shoulder, his hand on Daniel’s neck. He caught one of the curls at Daniel’s nape and twirled it around his finger.
“Did Louis ever long-distance me?”
Armand sighed. “Daniel.”
“I need to know, okay.” He just couldn’t let it go. “If I…”
“If you travelled to Dubai because you wanted to or because we compelled you?”
“Yeah.”
“Would it make a difference?”
“Can’t you just tell me?”
“So we can fight over something that happened seven months rather than 38 years ago?”
Daniel swore under his breath. “Why d’you have to be such a fucking dickhead about this?” If he hadn’t been so goddamn sore all over, Daniel would’ve gotten up and stormed out. Instead he just lay there while Armand continued to play with his hair.
“You came here to satisfy your own curiosity, Daniel. All we did was send you that letter and those tapes. Louis’ ability to influence others’ actions doesn’t stretch that far, and I truly haven’t since I – ”
“Made me forget.”
“Yes. Of course, if you had remembered, you might not have come. We could fight about that again, if you’d like.”
“Do you want us to fight? Kinda sounds like you want us to fight.”
“You know what I want, Daniel.” Armand sounded tired, dejected. He stopped fidgeting with Daniel’s hair. “I don’t think I can do this without you.” His voice was almost a whisper now. “Face eternity. I don’t know if I want to continue unless you… So if you’re going to tell me No, please just do – ”
“Jesus, baby, I’m not going to tell you No.”
“Then why won’t you tell me Yes?!” Armand pressed himself more closely up against Daniel, as if he was trying to crawl inside him. He grabbed Daniel’s T-shirt so tightly his nails cut through the fabric – Daniel could feel them biting into his skin – and buried his face in Daniel’s neck. “Damn you, Daniel,” he whispered. “I don’t want you to die.”
Daniel didn’t know what to say. He hated that he was hurting Armand like this; it literally made his chest ache. And of course he didn’t want himself to die either. He was just so fucking scared.
“Do you imagine I’m not?” Armand asked.
“Hey!” Armand wasn’t supposed to listen in on his thoughts. That was one of the first things they’d agreed on when Daniel decided to stay in Dubai.
Armand ignored him. “I haven’t been this frightened in centuries.”
“You know, that doesn’t actually make me feel better about any of this.” If one of the most powerful vampires in the world, who had apparently witnessed (and caused) countless of untold horrors in his lifetime, was scared shitless at the prospect of turning Daniel into a vampire, then how was Daniel, who was just some sick old guy, supposed to feel about it?
“Is that what you want from me, Daniel?” Armand let go of Daniel’s shirt and smoothed it down with his hand. “To make you feel better? Because I can do that.”
“Babe, come on, that’s – ”
“I’m not talking about sex,” Armand interrupted. “Though I can of course do that as well. No, I can have you so ‘doped up’ and ‘blissed out’, as you would say, using my doctors and my powers, it would make you forget you were sick. Make you forget where you are, who you are, until you go gentle into that good night. You wouldn’t even register the moment you passed away. You’d just be…gone.”
Gone.
Just like that.
If Daniel hadn’t known there was an alternative, that might’ve sounded like a pretty good way to go.
“But you don’t want that,” Daniel said.
“Of course I don’t want that!” Armand hissed. He grabbed Daniel’s T-shirt again. “I need you to rage against it, Daniel. Burn and rave at close of day. Because you are my light.” He moved back so they could look at each other and put his hand on Daniel’s cheek again before adding, “And you rage so beautifully against everything else.”
“Fuck, baby.” Daniel tightly closed his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, but he was probably going to. And maybe Armand would, too. Even with his own eyes closed, Daniel could still see Armand staring straight into his soul, exuding such intense sorrow and despair at the thought of Daniel dying it made Daniel feel like he couldn’t breathe.
Daniel took a couple of deep breaths – which he was in fact still very much capable of doing, for now – while Armand stroked his cheek with his thumb.
“So how’d we do it?” Daniel asked after opening his eyes again. He felt exhausted but this was a conversation they couldn’t put off any longer. That he knew they should’ve had months ago. “How would we kill me?”
Armand frowned. “I drain your blood until your heart is close to giving out. Then you drink from me, more than you ever have before. Your human body dies and – ”
“No, baby, that’s not – I mean, what would we tell the rest of the world so they think I’m really dead?”
“Ah.” Armand blinked.
“I’m sure you’ve thought about it."
“Yes.”
“Well?”
“Well, options are limited. We can’t give your family your actual ‘remains’.”
Daniel hadn’t actually considered that, but he could see how that would pose some problems.
“We can’t guarantee that they’ll keep you out of direct sunlight,” Armand went on. “And they might want to cremate you. If they opt for burial instead, there’s the embalming. And being buried alive is not something I’d…recommend.”
Armand stopped moving his thumb. His eyes were still on Daniel, but glazed over – far away.
“Is that what happened to you?” Daniel asked quietly.
It took Armand a couple of seconds to come back from whatever memory he had drifted off to. “No.” He shook his head and focused on Daniel again. “But I’ve ordered it done to others. Many times.”
“Jesus.”
Armand moved his hand from Daniel’s cheek to Daniel’s hair and drew little circles on his scalp with his fingers. Armand hadn’t styled his own hair, which fell around his serious face in soft ringlets. He looked like an angel. With large, sad, fiery eyes.
“I’m a monster, Daniel,” he said simply. “I’ve never pretended otherwise with you.”
“I know.” Daniel moved his own hand to Armand’s curls, mirroring Armand’s movements.
“You’ve always known me for what I am,” Armand said.
“Yeah.”
“And loved me for it.”
“Yes.”
It was true. Daniel has always loved – wanted, sure, but also loved – Armand because of what he was rather than in spite of it. Maybe that made him a weirdo, a freak, a sick fuck. It certainly made him a hypocrite. But Daniel couldn’t really care about that, had never really cared, and he didn’t have the energy to continue to pretend he wasn’t any of those things.
“And you love me,” Daniel told Armand. It wasn’t a question. They were beyond questions at this point, at least as far as their feelings for each other were concerned.
Daniel loved Armand because he was Armand, and Armand loved Daniel because he was Daniel.
“I do.” Armand took a deep breath. “I need you.”
“For all eternity?”
“Yes, Daniel.”
“Okay, so. Uh… I’d definitely like to avoid being cremated or buried alive.”
Armand smiled at him. “That does seem like the sensible thing to do.”
Daniel smiled, too. “So I just…what? Go missing? Get lost at sea? In the desert?”
Armand shook his head. “That would deprive your loved ones of closure.”
Daniel scoffed. “I think you overestimate how many people are going to miss me when I’m gone.”
“I think you underestimate it.”
Daniel shook his head. He doubted many people would even really notice if he never came back from Dubai.
“I don’t mean just your family. You are a fairly well-known journalist, and an American citizen. If you go missing, there will be a search effort. Media coverage. That would greatly complicate our going on our merry immortal way.”
Daniel snorted.
“That amuses you? Anonymity is more difficult to attain in this age of constant surveillance and internet access than it has ever been before. Especially since you are already more well-known than most.”
“No, I know, I wasn’t laughing at that. It’s just… ‘Merry’ just isn’t really the first word that springs to mind when I think of you.”
“I am very merry, Daniel. I’m a veritable ray of sunshine.”
“Oh yeah?” Daniel grinned at him.
Armand gave him a small smile. “Yes.”
“I think you might be, actually,” Daniel mused. “My only sunshine.” It was corny as Hell, but fuck it.
Daniel pulled Armand closer against himself and they held each other tightly, Armand’s face buried in Daniel’s neck again, his hand back to fiddling with the curls behind Daniel’s ear. Daniel kissed the top of Armand’s head.
“Okay, so how do we fake my death?”
Armand hummed. “A small airplane, taking you on a sightseeing tour, a tragic crash. Body burned beyond recognition.”
“Shipped back to Brooklyn in a closed casket?”
“Yes.”
Daniel thought about it for a moment. That could definitely work. And he had no doubt that Armand could make sure that whoever burned to a crisp in his stead would officially be identified as the Pulitzer-prize-winning journalist Daniel Molloy. There’d still be media coverage, but no doubt some more exciting news would eclipse his death within a day or two. But…
“Why do you hesitate?” Armand asked.
“I don’t know. I guess just the thought of sacrificing some poor fool to fake my death…” Daniel shrugged.
“If I make you a vampire, we’ll be sacrificing thousands of human lives, Daniel. It would be a deeply selfish thing to do, on both our parts.”
Daniel took a deep breath. He’d always been selfish, really. It came to him pretty naturally. Sure, he’d written about marginalized communities, marched against injustice, used his typewriter to stick it to the Man. It was what earned him those Pulitzers. But in his private life?
Let’s just say he really couldn’t blame Laura for not wanting to take his calls, and he definitely couldn’t blame either of his ex-wives for dumping his ass.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Armand hummed. “And I, for one, do not intend to lose a moment of sleep over it. It’s a price I’ll gladly pay, if it means I get to keep you.”
Daniel couldn’t help but smile at that. “That is both the most fucked-up and the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“I know.”
“I could use the farm, though, couldn’t I?” Daniel asked. “And Damek and Pascal and whichever other human juice boxes you have on your payroll. After I’m turned.”
“You could. But most vampires aren’t suited to a ‘vegetarian’ way of life. I’ve told you this.”
He had.
Daniel supposed he would have to accept the possibility that literal thousands of people were going to die to keep him alive. It didn’t bother him as much as he knew it should.
“And some deaths will be unavoidable. Not just your…body double. The pilot as well. And you will make at least one kill after I make you.”
“That’s non-negotiable?” The way Armand had said it had sounded pretty non-negotiable.
“It is. I’ll not take any chances when it comes to completing your transformation.”
Daniel knew, intellectually, that he should be disturbed by how reasonable that sounded to him.
“And this body double? I suppose he’d have to be about my size.”
“And age. And complexion. You have different blood types but that won’t be a problem. He’ll be identified using your dental records.”
“Which you have?”
“Obviously.”
Daniel closed his eyes and chuckled. “You already have it all set up, don’t you?” Of course he had. You could say a lot about Armand but he didn’t leave anything to chance.
“We could do it tomorrow. I’d only need about an hour for the final preparations.”
Daniel shook his head. “Might be a bit suspicious if I die in an accident the day after I call my estranged daughters.”
“I don’t think it will be. You’re old, they both know you’re sick. I believe it’s only natural for a man in your position to reach out, and to attempt to cross things off your ‘bucket list’,” Armand countered.
“Like flying over the Arabian desert in a chopper.”
“Small private airplane,” Armand corrected. After a couple of seconds, he added, “You don’t have to officially die immediately. I could turn you tomorrow and we could stage the accident three months from now. A year, three years in the future. The two don’t have to coincide.”
Daniel shook his head. “Nah, I think I’d like a clean break. So I don’t chicken out of…how’d you call it? Dying officially. I don’t need to still be ‘alive’ thirty years from now, trying to attend my grandchildren’s wedding receptions in sunglasses, pretending I’m just a very spry, sun-shy centenarian who magically doesn’t have Parkinson’s anymore.”
They were silent for a while. Armand nuzzled down the side of Daniel’s neck, pressed a kiss against his collarbone. “We’d have to do it soon,” he said. “You don’t have much time left.”
“I know.”
There was no point pretending he still had much longer before his body gave out. He’d been declining very rapidly these last few weeks and he could literally feel himself dying.
“Two days,” Armand said, and Daniel knew that was non-negotiable.
“Okay.”
Armand went very still. Then he let go of Daniel and pushed himself up so he was above him, his hands on the mattress on either side of Daniel’s torso. “Okay?”
“Yeah.”
Armand blinked. His face was as blank as Daniel had ever seen it. “Does this mean you accept my offer, Daniel?”
“I mean… Only an idiot would give this up, right?” Daniel gestured vaguely with his hand, not just at the room around them, which Armand had had extensively redecorated to make Daniel feel more at home, but at the last seven or so months they’d spend together. Then he brought his other hand up to Armand’s face and tucked a curl behind one of his ears.
Daniel could never give up Armand. Not with how things were between them this time around.
“I gave you up once,” Armand whispered.
“Nah.” Daniel waved his hand again, dismissively. “We were just taking a little break.”
“To which you did not consent.”
Daniel shrugged. “Eh, I’m over it.”
Armand smiled, then his face turned serious again.
“Do you want me to say it out loud?” Daniel asked.
“I would prefer that, yes.”
“Armand?”
“Yes, Daniel?”
“Will you make me a vampire?”
Armand let out a deep sigh and lowered himself down again, his entire body relaxing against Daniel’s.
“Yes, Daniel.”
He scooted up a little, took Daniel’s face in both his hands and pressed their foreheads together. “I will.”