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Mama Carol had had a bit of an ice skating accident, and Nini had offered to stick around for the recovery like the good daughter she was, but her moms, fully aware that their daughter’s early weekend trip home had little to do with seeing them and quite a bit more with a certain international holiday and curly-haired boyfriend, had handed her their car keys and practically shoved her toward the door, telling her to go ahead and enjoy her Valentine’s Day as intended. Well, as close to “as intended” as she could get, after her serenade hadn’t gone as planned.
So, after verifying once more that Mama C was seated on the couch with her ankle elevated, making Mama D swear she would take ice pack duty seriously, and giving each of them a kiss on the cheek, Nini had left, ukulele in hand and giddy smile on face as she climbed into the car. That was where she was now, driving to her boyfriend’s house. Or, wait—she took out her phone, pulled up the address Ricky had texted her this morning and plugged it into her maps app, making an immediate U-turn as it prompted her—her boyfriend’s apartment.
Nini wasn’t exactly upset about how she’d found out about that particular change. Honestly, the knowledge that Ricky had simply just moved was a bit of a relief after the sight of another girl their age in what she’d thought was his bedroom last night. But what Nini still found oddly amusing about the whole thing was how it hadn’t simply just. Come up. Or how she hadn’t seen the change of scenery in any of their FaceTime calls. They talked every day!
But, none of that mattered, because she’d see the place soon. She’d see him soon, in person, for the first time in six weeks. She couldn’t stop smiling.
Nini hummed the tune she had written for Ricky, the one she’d sing for him tonight, as she continued to follow the directions to his place. She knew the drive to Ricky’s old house by heart. There was something almost thrilling in the change of routine. But she supposed this new journey would become routine, too, and that was comforting in its own right.
Soon enough, Nini was pulling up to the apartment complex, and she wasted no time grabbing her ukulele from the passenger seat and sprinting toward the Bowens’ door. She knew Ricky was home alone right now, his dad was clearing out for the night, so it would be Ricky who opened the door. She knocked, waiting. The door began to open.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” she shouted.
And there he was. Ricky Bowen, handsome as ever, wearing that dog tag she’d given him.
“Nini, wh– hi!” He looked surprised to see her, which was strange considering the hourly text messages he had sent her today, counting down the time ‘til his school got out and they could finally be together. She expected him to kiss her, or hug her, or somehow embrace her, but instead he just asked, “how’s your mom doing?” as if this was a casual call between neighbors and not a reunion between lovers.
“Better,” she answered him. She laughed at the way he wasn’t holding the door wide open, only about the width of his body. She knew it was a subconscious decision, but on the outside it kinda looked like he was shielding the inside of his apartment from her. So, she decided to tease him about it. “You hiding something from me?” she asked coyly.
“Oh, yeah, no, uh…” he laughed awkwardly, then opened the door fully and took a step back. “Gina stopped by for a second.”
And sure enough, there was Gina Porter, beautiful and shy, standing in her boyfriend’s apartment.
Nini had not expected that.
It made sense now why Ricky hadn’t been so affectionate upon seeing her; the action would be awkward, in present company.
“Hi, Nini!” the girl greeted, perhaps a bit strained, but kindly, as Nini walked in. The whole thing looked innocent enough. But something still stirred in her at the sight, some emotion she associated with last November. “I was just on my way out. I’m sure you guys have some epic Valentine’s Day stuff to get to…wouldn’t want to get in the way…”
Nini began to nod, like, yeah, they did have things to get to, she should leave, but as Gina reached for her coat, Ricky called out, “wait, Gi!”
The girl stopped.
Ricky didn’t say anything more to her. Instead, he turned back to Nini, placed his hand on hers. Their first touch in over a month. “Don’t let her leave,” he said. And then he left the room. Probably to go to his bedroom, but Nini couldn’t be sure. She didn’t know the layout of this place. She’d never been here before.
She set her ukulele down on the cluttered kitchen table and took a moment to survey the new space. It was a lot smaller than their old home, but she thought it would be good for them, Ricky and his dad. Looking around the living room, it was easy to feel the absence of Ricky’s mother. Photos of her no longer lined the walls. The throw pillows she had chosen weren’t on the couch. And the curtains. The Bowens had new curtains now, ones Nini knew Lynne would never have picked out.
She heard movement from the room Ricky had retreated to. It seemed like he wasn’t coming out anytime soon. So, Nini looked to her companion, who looked just as uncomfortable as Nini felt.
Nini liked Gina very much, and she figured the feeling was mutual, so that wasn’t a problem. But the situation was still awkward. She wasn’t sure they’d reached the hanging out alone stage of their relationship quite yet. Especially not here.
“Do you come around often?” Nini asked, in an attempt to break the silence that had sprung up between them. It came out more pointed than she’d intended.
Gina’s eyes widened at the insinuation. “No, definitely not. We honestly don’t even talk much anymore. I just. Needed a friend. Was having a hard time, missing my mom.”
Nini felt herself relax for the first time since stepping into the apartment. This was all she had wanted, really. For Gina to confide in her, to know that Gina trusted her.
Gina needed a friend. Nini could be one, too.
She walked over to her, placed a comforting hand on her elbow. “I get it.”
The girl raised her eyebrows curiously. “Do you?”
It threw Nini off, the immediate dismissal. She knew Gina wasn’t trying to be mean, her question was only surprised, intrigued, but how could she be surprised? Weren’t Nini and Gina both living apart from their moms right now? Wasn’t it a choice the both of them were making? Who better to understand what it was like to make a choice like that, the unexpected hardships that came with it, than Nini herself? Really, why wasn’t it Nini’s doorstep she’d come to?
But then Nini thought about how excited her mom’s were when she’d told them she was coming home this weekend, how they’d woken her up this morning with heart-shaped pancakes.
Nini didn’t know a lot about Gina’s mom. The only impression she could make of her was from when Gina had called her on Thanksgiving. And all Nini remembered about that night was the tension that had filled the air. The same kind of tension that filled the air whenever Ricky mentioned his mom these days.
“No,” Nini said, pulling her hand back down to her side. She found herself staring at the new curtains again, the curtains that bore no trace of how Ricky’s life used to be, no trace of Lynne. He got it. Nini didn’t. Gina had known that. “I guess not.”
Besides, Gina couldn’t have shown up at Nini’s doorstep, because Gina didn’t know where Nini lived.
She felt really bitter all of a sudden.
“I just know Ricky has also had a hard time with his mom lately,” Gina justified, and Nini wanted to know how Gina knew that, if they really didn’t talk much these days like she’d said.
“I know that, too,” Nini felt the need to say.
But if she was honest, the topic hadn’t come up between her and Ricky since Christmas, when he’d recalled opening a present from his mother under the tree as a child. Nini thought about all the conversations they had had since then, over the phone, every single day she was away at school. They hadn’t spoken about his mother. They hadn’t spoken about him moving. What had they spoken about? Nini was having a hard time remembering.
“He seemed upset about it,” she continued, thinking back to that Christmas night. “But he didn’t want to talk about it.”
She hated that she felt the need to bring that up, as if to say I can tell when he’s hurt too , as if to clarify that him not talking about it wasn’t her fault.
Gina laughed, fondly. “Yeah, I remember I’d have to pry it out of him sometimes. He always felt better afterward though.” Then she blushed, hopefully realizing how incredibly odd and inappropriate it was to be talking about Ricky with her like this, like she was giving her tips on how best to be his girlfriend.
Nini didn’t need Gina’s notes. She and Ricky had known each other since kindergarten.
Gina grabbed her coat. “I should probably go.”
“You can’t leave,” Nini said, though her tone suggested she’d have actually liked nothing more. She took a deep breath, plastered a smile on her face and tried again, “I mean, Ricky told me not to let you. It’s my only job right now. You don’t want Ricky to be mad at me, do you?”
Her tone wasn’t teasing enough. It was too petty. Too challenging.
She hated acting this way. She hated feeling this way. She’d thought she’d moved past this. Sure, maybe they weren’t the type to hang out one on one, but she and Gina were friends now, pretty much. They’d talked at Thanksgiving, and on opening night, and they hung out a bit at the New Year’s eve party.
But she couldn’t help it. It was Valentine’s Day, she hadn’t seen her boyfriend in six weeks, and when she finally went over to his place she found him entertaining another girl? And this girl at that?
She thought about last fall, about acoustic renditions of When There Was Me and You and turkey cupcakes and victory hugs at school board meetings, and could feel herself begin to spiral. “Richard!” she called out, before she could get past a point of no return, “need any help over there?”
But thankfully, he came rushing in before she had finished her sentence, holding something behind his back. “Sorry! All my stuff is in boxes.”
He walked over to Gina, then revealed what was behind his back. It was a familiar light brown stuffed bear. “I want you to have this,” he told the girl in front of him.
It seemed to carry a deeper meaning than Nini was aware of. Gina hesitantly took the toy from his hands, and Nini swore the girl was about to cry .
“That’s your favorite bear,” Nini interrupted the moment, and the sick satisfaction she got from Gina’s look of surprise—because Gina of course could not have known that this was Ricky’s favorite bear because she didn’t know him like Nini did, hadn’t been there when he’d first gotten that bear like Nini had, ten years ago—did little to ease her mind at the sight of Ricky giving her his favorite bear. On Valentine’s Day.
Nini could’ve given her a bear. Not that she understood the significance of it, but like. Anyone could’ve given her a bear. Why did it have to be him?
“It’s my only bear actually,” he said, eyes still on Gina as he explained, “had to get rid of the rest in the move.”
Gina began to shake her head. “Ricky, I don’t want to take something that means so much to you…”
“My mom gave it to me,” he said. “And I know you wish this was coming from your mom, I know it doesn’t compare…” (Nini thought by the look on Gina’s face that that wasn’t the case at all actually,) “…but I want you to have it. Really. You need… You deserve… something. ”
It felt intrusive, in a way, witnessing this exchange between them.
“I’ll take good care of it,” the girl whispered. Then she blinked, taking a step back. “I should go,” she said, meeting Nini’s eyes, then turned back to Ricky. “Thank you.”
Nini grabbed Gina's coat, then held it out to her. “We’re always happy to help out a friend,” Nini smiled. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Ricky stared at the door for a second after she left. And then, with Gina gone, it was like he’d finally awoken to the gravity of Nini’s appearance.
“Nini, oh my god!”
He scooped her up in his arms, and this was how a reunion should be, this was how you greeted your love after not seeing them for a month and a half. He kissed her, and kissed her again, and again, but she pulled back before the fourth one. “Kissing later,” she laughed.
“What?” he looked almost offended.
“I want to play you my song!”
They playfully argued for a bit over who should get to play their song first, to which Ricky suggested they just play them at the same time because, quote, “you never know if we accidentally wrote a perfectly synced duet through the power of love,” which Nini of course told him was ridiculous, and then ended up playing hers first.
Afterward, when Ricky grabbed his guitar and prepared to play his own, he said, “I don’t want things to change between us. Ever,” and Nini wondered if he only said that because he felt like things already had.