Chapter Text
“So Scully, any New Year's resolutions?" Mulder looks down at her in the elevator, the new millennium just welcomed with a kiss. Scully presses the button to the parking garage and crosses her arms, "A few," she says, and stares back up at him "how about you?"
"C'mon Scully, don't leave me hanging!" he makes a show of waving his cast around as much as possible and wiggles his eyebrows at her, she cracks a smile but makes no move to speak. "Fine, guess I'll go first," he pouts, "my first New Year's resolution is to buy you a drink!" he winks at her as the elevator doors open and skips out, dangling the car keys in his good hand. "To make up for all those birthdays of yours that I've missed." he grins, looking over his shoulder.
"Mulder, you can't drink on painkillers!" Scully calls after him, "And I'm driving, you've had enough excitement for one night." she runs up to the car door and snatches the keys from Mulder's hand, shooing him off to the passenger side and getting into the driver's seat.
“So why my birthday? Not going by dog years anymore?” she quips, glancing at him and putting the keys in the ignition.
“I’ve decided I need to come back to the human realm, Scully, dogs and zombies just aren’t as compelling to me anymore.” he shudders, thinking about the zombies he’d fought off just a couple hours prior.
“Wow, it’s a New Year’s miracle, Fox Mulder admitting he doesn’t find zombies interesting.” Scully chuckles, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel as the car pulls out of the garage.
“You can have that admission only if you give me one of yours! You still haven’t told me your resolution, Agent Scully.” he pokes at her shoulder over the console and turns himself towards her, listening with rapt attention.
Scully sighs and drives in silence for a couple of seconds, and Mulder can almost hear the gears turning in her brain before she speaks “I want to be more open this year, and before you say anything regarding aliens–” she flicks her eyes to him and half-heartedly glares, “–I mean emotionally.” her lips purse in thought before she continues. “I haven’t let myself experience much lately, I want to be more honest about what I feel.” He sees her clench the steering wheel tighter for a moment before turning to look at him, “Does that make sense?”
“Scully, you’re the most honest person I know. I think if you got any more honest they’d finally arrest me.” he says, quirking a smile at her. “In all seriousness, I think I understand what you mean, it’s hard for me too sometimes.” He briefly squeezes her elbow and leans back into his seat, thinking about just how much he wants to tell her. The new millennium may not have ended the world, but it’s definitely eroded his patience, will he wait for the next one to finally tell her how he feels? The kiss felt like a good start, but she might just chalk it up to a New Year’s tradition, and he doesn’t know if he’d be able to survive another seven years for the next.
Despite Mulder’s mind racing the whole way there, the two of them do fall into a comfortable silence, occasionally humming along to the radio as Scully drives them to his apartment.
---
Some cheesy romcom plays on the TV set in front of them, her head on his shoulder as they both nurse a beer, Scully having finally given in to his pleas to have a drink and celebrate the new year. After a while, she feels him shift above her and feels him staring. Tilting her head up to meet his gaze she sighs, "What is it, Mulder?" he’s looking at her with an unreadable expression, something twinkling there in the dim light of his living room.
"Can I kiss you?"
She slowly raises an eyebrow at him and brings the beer to her lips, "You didn't ask when we were in the hospital."
"Well– That– That was different. This is different." He brings his hand up to scratch the back of his neck, averting his eyes while she sets the beer down before bringing them back to her. "Sorry- I just-"
"Yes."
He blinks and his eyes widen, "Yeah?"
Scully tilts her head to the side and brings a hand to his cheek, careful not to bump into his injured arm. "Yes, Mulder. You can kiss me."
And so he does, he tilts his own head down and brings his lips to hers in a small, chaste, kiss. Almost reminiscent of the one they shared in the hospital lobby, except this time he pulls back and watches her face, as her eyes open slowly and her thumb strokes his stubble.
"Can I kiss you again?" he whispers, and she chuckles and leans into him once more.
This time, she opens her mouth to his and they explore each other slowly. Mulder runs his tongue along Scully's teeth, her lips pillowy around his, he brushes against her own tongue and it ignites something within her. She brings her other hand to his face and smashes herself into the kiss, her tongue running along his palate, then pulling back and along his plush lower lip. He sits in a daze, mouth open, as she nips at his stubble and along his jaw and then returns to his mouth, she finds his tongue and sucks. A groan makes its way out of his throat and send a bolt of arousal down, down, down.
"Scu– Scully..." He says, barely catching his breath as he pulls back and raises his hand to the one on his cheek. They look at each other, eyes half lidded and mouths wet. "I appreciate the enthusiasm but I uh- That- That uh-"
"Too much?" She drops the hand that Mulder isn't holding and looks up at him, smiling with her gums on display.
"No– I just–" he smiles and squeezes her hand, bringing it down to the couch, palm up, so he can hold it. "I want you, Scully."
He goes to lean in again but freezes, as if just now realizing the implications. Gripping Scully's hand tighter, he snaps his eyes up to hers as he stutters "I– I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
Scully sighs and brings her other hand on top of theirs. "You remember what I said in the car?" He nods, listening. "I said I wanted to be more honest, and that means being honest even when it scares me. You scare me, Mulder."
His face twists into a frown and he sighs, pulling his hand away, "You could've said no. I wouldn't have pushed."
She doesn't let his hand get far before grasping it tightly in between her own and looking up at him, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Listen to me, Mulder. You're not listening."
She brings his hand up to her lips and places a kiss on his knuckles, "What I mean is, I'm scared if I let myself hope, then it'll all go to hell. I'm scared you'll find some other piece of the truth and go out to chase it, only this time you won't come back." She looks up at him again and he sees tears prick at the corners of her eyes.
"I couldn't live with that. I couldn't live with having you like this–" She gestures between them "–just to have you taken away from me again. I wouldn't survive it." Her head drops down to her chest and she breathes shakily.
Mulder pulls her close and kisses the top of her head, his lips resting in the soft strands, he cradles her against his chest with his one good arm, “Scully…” he breathes, “I hope you know that I would never leave you, not on purpose.” he strokes her back and feels the rise and fall of her chest against his own, their breaths and the soft murmur of the TV the only sounds in the room. “I’m scared too, if that’s any consolation.” he whispers, “The amount of times you’ve had something happen because of me…” his words trail off as he speaks them into her hair, and she lifts her head up and plants a soft kiss to his cheek.
“None of that was your fault, Mulder. I chose to stay with the X-files, to stay with you.” she plants her hands on his shoulders and moves into his lap, bringing herself almost eye-level with him. “I want to try this, Mulder. I don’t want to run away anymore.”
“Scully I– Are you sure? Me?” his eyes are wide and searching, roaming over her face to try to find any trace of uncertainty, “You could have anyone you want, anything– God, Scully, you deserve so much.” He sees a twinge of anger flash in Scully’s eyes and her gaze hardens, her hands come up to cup his jaw and she runs her fingers through the hair at his temples, it feels possessive, as if she’s making sure he won’t run away.
“Mulder, we’ve had so much taken from us, don’t we both deserve this?” her thumbs lightly scrape through his five-o’-clock shadow, her eyes following the sound, “What if what I want– Who I want, is you?” she whispers.
He closes his eyes and chuckles lightly, breathing through his nose, “Scully? Are we sure there are no bees around this time?”
The only noise in the apartment now is the bubbling of the fish tank, the movie having ended long ago, the soft glow of the TV illuminating their faces on the couch.
“Not that I can hear.” Scully whispers.
“Then, Scully, can I kiss you again? Or I guess, again– again?”
“Please.”