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Felix can't feel the pain in the dream, but she can remember what it felt like. The burning in her veins, like her very blood was made of fire. A pounding in her head like someone had taken a hammer to it. And the worst of all, the feeling between her legs.
She dreams of it often, and when she's not dreaming of it she's thinking of it. Trying and failing to fill her heart with disgust at the memory.
Of all the things that Felix feels, disgust is not one of them.
It’s Dimitri's fault.
It’s a regular raid of a run of the mill bandit's camp. It should have been a simple assignment. But the Boar had seen one try to escape, and in her bloodthirsty rage had pursued. Felix had followed—there was no one else around to keep an eye on the beast. That was the only reason Felix had gone after her.
Felix caught up to her deep in the woods near where the camp had been. She's standing over a body; Felix barely spares it a glance.
"Don't go running off, Boar!" She chastises. Dimitri wipes off her spear and gives Felix a look.
"You didn't need to follow me, Felix," she says.
"Somebody has to," Felix says, which is maybe not strictly true. Usually that somebody was Dedue, but in situations where the professor doesn't bring Dedue along, Felix is the one to keep an eye on the Boar Princess.
That Felix need not do this does not once cross her mind. In her head, someone had to keep an eye on the beast, lest she run out of control.
It is only as she gets closer that she realizes Dimitri is holding something. It's a vial filled with a liquid tinged pink. It looks incredibly fragile and breakable in Dimitri's strong hands. "What is that?"
Dimitri looks at it. "I don't know. He was holding it when he died. I was going to bring it to the professor."
Felix clicks her tongue and holds out her hand. "Give it here," she orders. "Your brute strength will only crush it.”
Dimitri hands the vial over. Felix studies it. It really could be anything. She carefully unscrews the top to take a smell of the liquid to see if she could identify it, but as soon as she inhales a smell like burnt hair pervades her nostrils and the back of her throat. She coughs, holding the vial away from her; Dimitri takes it and re-stoppers it again before she turns her attention to Felix.
"Are you alright?"
Felix chafes at the concern in her voice. She doesn't want to hear it. Not when Dimitri is the reason they're in this situation in the first place.
"Let's just get back to where everyone is," she says. "Give that to the professor. Don't break it." Felix's throat still burns from inhaling it.
As they head back through the woods, the first thing Felix feels is a tightening in her stomach and lower. It's a feeling so out of place with the current situation that it takes her quite a fair amount of time before she realizes it's arousal.
What the hell? Why is she so damn horny all of a sudden? It's a feeling she's not really familiar with. She recognizes it from the few times in her life she's tried to masturbate (all those times were failures; for some reason every time she closed her eyes it was Dimitri's face she saw).
It had to have been that liquid. There was no other explanation. She shoots a look at Dimitri out of the corner of her eye. She doesn't seem any different.. That would make sense, though. Only Felix had inhaled the smell.
Oh well. It was strange and uncomfortable, but she could handle it until she got back to her room.
That's when the pain starts.
It feels like her blood has turned to fire in her veins. Her head is pounding, and each step is torture. She puts a hand to her chest and tries to take a few breaths, but her breathing is shallow. And all the while, she feels the same heavy arousal between her legs, the undeniable proof that something is very wrong.
She stops; she has to. She stumbles and reaches out a hand to a tree for support, pain making her head fuzzy. Dimitri is immediately worried, reaching out a hand that hovers awkwardly inches from Felix's back. Such friendly, casual touches are behind them.
"Felix, what's wrong?” There's concern thick in her voice.
"Nothing,” she says. Dimitri's eyes flash.
"Felix, don't be absurd. There's clearly something the matter. What's happened?"
Felix grits her teeth. She closes her eyes, tries to get a handle on the pain, but it's impossible.
"That vial,” she says weakly. "Don't open it."
"The vial...? What did it do to you?"
Felix doesn't answer. She drops to her knees, still using the tree to support her. She can tell from the uncomfortable feeling between her legs that she's starting to soak through her small clothes.
What is this? Why is this happening to her? What the hell was in that vial that just smelling it was making her feel like this?
"Felix, please. I need to know what's going on.” She's using her royal voice. Felix hates when she does that.
But Felix can't explain. She can't and she won't. The pain is too great—and even if it weren't, Felix would rather die than admit to Dimitri that she's horny.
"Felix, forgive me, but this is our only option right now." And with that she heads over to Felix and tries to lift her. But as soon as she touches her—
It's like being doused in water. Relief spreads through her from the spot where Dimitri is touching, and the pain subsides.
And Felix moans.
Dimitri's hands fly off her, blue eyes wide as they stare at Felix in shock. "Wh-what was—?"
Felix covers her face with shaky hands. It had felt so good when Dimitri touched her, and that was over her clothes. What would skin on skin…
No, what the fuck? Why is she even thinking about that?
“Don’t touch me,” Felix says through gritted teeth. Dimitri takes a step back and away from her, heeding her instructions.
“If you won’t let me carry you I’ll have to run to get help,” she says. Felix shakes her head. The only thing worse than Dimitri seeing her like this would be someone else seeing her like this.
“No,” she grunts. “Just—just go. I’ll be fine. I’ll follow after.” There’s wetness pooling uncomfortably in her underthings, and her nipples are hard and aching against her school uniform. Every second that passes the pain increases, and every second that passes the urge to touch herself grows. Surely—surely if she gives in, that will stop this, will make the pain subside. Surely that should be enough.
“Absolutely not,” Dimitri says. “If you won’t tell me what’s wrong I have no choice. I’m sorry if this hurts you.” And she moves to touch her again. Felix scrambles away from her.
“Don’t,” she says. And then she says, “Please,” because she wants Dimitri to touch her so badly, and that’s unacceptable.
Dimitri looks shocked at Felix’s politeness. Then she gets that bullheaded look on her face. “I’m not leaving you like this. Either I carry you back or we both stay here like sitting ducks. Pick.” The last word is an order, and Felix bristles at it.
The pain is too much. She thinks she’s going to pass out from it. She sits on the ground and tips her head back against the tree.
“You can’t touch me.”
“Why not? Felix, what did that vial do to you?”
“Boar—”
“If you don’t tell me I’ll open it myself.”
Felix’s eyes fly open. That would be so much worse. She can’t let Dimitri do that.
“Boar—”
“Tell me.”
“It made me horny!” She shouts. She closes her eyes against the look of shock and confusion that spreads across Dimitri’s face. Felix lets out a frustrated groan. “The vial, it… don’t touch it. Don’t smell it. And please leave me.”
“I already told you I’m not leaving.”
Felix’s eyes fly open again. “Think, idiot! What do you think I need right now? Do you think I’m going to do that in front of you?”
It seems to take Dimitri a moment to put together what Felix is saying, but judging from the way her face turns bright red, she picks up on it eventually. Felix is expecting her to turn tail and run; instead she gets a determined look on her face and says, “I will give you privacy, but I’m not leaving you alone.”
At this point Felix is past caring; the pain is too intense, all she wants to do is shove her hand beneath her skirt. She waves Dimitri off and as soon as she’s disappeared amongst the trees, Felix shoves a hand between her legs.
There’s the slightest bit of relief, but not enough. Her fingers come back soaked, and her thighs are stained with her own arousal. With a groan she untucks her shirt so she can get a hand on her tits, pinching and pulling at her nipples as she starts to finger herself.
She’s very aware that Dimitri is only out of sight, not gone. She’s around somewhere. Can she hear Felix? Can she hear the lewd noises Felix’s fingers make inside her? Why is she even thinking about this?
But just like every time before, her intrusive thoughts will only think of Dimitri. She doesn’t even know what else she would think about. Some random stranger? Every time she tries to conjure up a faceless stand-in, Dimitri’s face appears in her imagination.
She can't focus on that. She needs—she's in so much fucking pain. If it's Dimitri's face she sees then it's Dimitri's face she sees. She's too far gone to care.
There isn't much relief when her fingers seek out her pussy. She's wet, but when she presses on her clit she feels… nothing. She feels an echo of pleasure, but it is not enough to cut through the pain. She tries to play with her nipples too, to add an extra layer to it, but it still isn't enough. It's like drinking a glass of water when you're on fire.
Felix lets out a frustrated cry. It's not enough.
"Felix?" Dimitri's voice comes echoing through the trees. "Was that you? Are you alright?"
Felix is so far from alright. Felix is not even in the vicinity of alright.
"Felix?" Perhaps worried by her lack of answer, Dimitri appears a few moments later. When she catches sight of Felix—skirt hiked up, shirt untucked, hair half falling out of its bun as she sits with her legs spread—and Dimitri turns an alarming shade of red.
"Felix—”
"It's not working," she says, and Dimitri is nice enough not to bring up the tears in her voice.
"Felix," Dimitri says slowly. "Perhaps… have you considered that you might need—assistance?"
Of course she has. That's really the only option, isn't it? She'd gotten hit with some strange affliction that made her need to have sex. What in the fuck?
"I can run back," Dimitri says with hesitation. "I can… can get Sylvain—"
Felix shudders despite herself. "No," she says hoarsely. She doesn't want them to see her like this, any of them, not Sylvain, not Ingrid, not Annette. The only one she would ever willingly show this to—well, she's already here. Felix hates being vulnerable around Dimitri, but she would rather it be Dimitri than anyone else. Whether she likes it or not, Dimitri has already seen every side of Felix.
Although—maybe not every side, Felix thinks, as Dimitri desperately tries to avert her eyes from between Felix's legs.
Felix says, "I don't want any of them."
“Then what are we supposed to do?" Dimitri's voice is desperate, because she already knows what Felix is saying.
"Boar," Felix says. Dimitri shakes her head.
"Let me get help."
"There's no time!" Does she think Felix is happy about this? But the pain is getting worse with each passing minute, and between Dimitri and everyone else—well, Felix might have said she'd rather die than admit she'd choose Dimitri, but actually faced with death now she finds she's not so brave in the face of it. It's that, that fear mixed with the worst pain of Felix's life that has her saying, "It has to be you."
Dimitri looks horrified. Felix might be offended if she didn't feel the same.
Felix closes her eyes and leans her head back against the tree. She's starting to feel more tired than anything. She's almost used to the pain now. She could almost just… drift off to sleep...
A hand touches Felix's thigh, and her eyes fly open.
Dimitri is close, eyes wide and the same shade of blue as the sky. She's taken off her gloves, and the sight of her bare hand has Felix inexplicably blushing.
"I'm sorry," Dimitri says quietly. "You're suffering, and I'm making this about me. I'll help you. Let me help you."
And what else can Felix do but nod? Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Felix has never felt so desperate.
That's the worst part; under the pain still exists the arousal. She's still aching. And as Dimitri's bare hand slides beneath her skirt, the pain starts to abate, leaving only arousal in its wake.
Dimitri's hands are big, rough and calloused as they skim over Felix's leg. She looks down, but that was a bad idea. The sight of Dimitri's hand on her leg—Felix nearly bites through her lip.
"Is this okay?" Dimitri asks. Felix nods, not trusting her voice, and Dimitri's hand goes higher.
"Oh!" Dimitri speaks in surprise when her fingers reach the sticky wetness staining Felix's inner thighs. Her lips drop open, and her tongue darts out to lick the lower one. Felix's eyes narrow in on it.
"Is this okay?" Dimitri asks again. Her fingers are inches away from where Felix needs them; she can feel the heat from them.
"Stop asking," she growls out. Dimitri exhales through her nose and nods before she moves her fingers.
The first touch of Dimitri's fingers brings the relief Felix has been looking for, and she almost sobs as the pain disappears. It’s immediate; Dimitri's large fingers cup over Felix's cunt, one dipping between her folds to stroke through the sheer amount of wetness. Felix tastes blood from how hard she's biting her lip, trying to stop herself from moaning.
That gets harder and harder when Dimitri reaches her clit, calloused finger pressing the lightest amount. Felix rolls her hips, needing more, and Dimitri increases the pressure, correctly identifying what Felix wanted. This was one of the reasons why, despite everything, Felix chose Dimitri over anyone else. Dimitri knew her, in a way Sylvain and Ingrid didn't. Dimitri knew her down to her bones.
She grabs Dimitri's wrist and pushes it downwards, and Dimitri gets the message. One finger pushes inside her, and Felix clenches down on it. Dimitri's fingers are thicker than hers, but it isn't enough. Not yet.
"More," Felix orders, and Dimitri's eyes flick up to her face before she listens, sliding another finger inside her drenched cunt. Felix stretches around those digits, and she physically cannot stop the moan that spills from her mouth at the feeling. It's the relief she was so desperately seeking, the one she couldn't achieve with her own fingers. She rolls her hips down, wanting Dimitri deeper. She swears under her breath as the pleasure spikes through her.
"Felix,” Dimitri breathes out, tone almost reverent as she gazes at the spot where her fingers disappear into Felix's body. Felix closes her eyes, unable to focus, unable to see Dimitri's face so close. All those years spent trying to put distance between them, all ruined because she'd gone and stuck her nose somewhere it didn't belong. Literally.
Dimitri's fingers crook inside her, and there are fresh tears on Felix's face. Close. She's so close.
Felix had thought she knew what an orgasm was, from the few times she'd brought herself to completion. But those were nothing compared to what happens next.
It had never been this easy before, but somehow, with Dimitri’s fingers inside her, her orgasm builds quickly. She’ll blame it on the poison, or whatever the hell it was, and not on the fact that it’s Dimitri above her and inside her.
Either way it doesn’t matter; no matter the reason for it, her orgasm hits her like an arrow to the heart, mouth falling open as her body shakes and writhes on the forest floor. Dimitri’s fingers still but they stay inside her, thick and so damn good, exactly what she needed, she’s exactly what she needed—
Felix comes down with a drawn out groan, relief spreading through her limbs, and she sighs, collapsing back against the tree. Her relief is short lived, however, because it’s then she comes back to reality and realizes she has her legs spread and her skirt hiked up and the princess of Faerghus’ fingers buried inside her pussy.
“Boar!” She says, and Dimitri starts and pulls away, pulling her fingers away carefully from Felix and wiping them delicately on her cape. Felix tries not to think about it.
“Is it done?” Dimitri asks. “Are you better?”
Felix nods, and then she hisses, “Turn around!” Dimitri does so, and Felix hurriedly tries to straighten herself up, tucking her shirt back in and trying to deal with her hair. She undoes it completely and finger combs it quickly before she throws it back up. She stands up on shaky legs, using the tree to support her. Dimitri looks like she’s about to offer a hand but thinks better of it; instead she puts her gloves back on with hands that shake almost imperceptibly.
“We should get back,” Felix says, because she doesn’t know what else to do. Dimitri gazes at her and opens her mouth, but whatever she’d planned to say she changes her mind. She simply nods, instead, and together the two of them head back towards where the rest of their class has been looking for them.
Felix can think of nothing else.
She dreams about it: She daydreams about it. She thinks about it during class. The sight of Dimitri's hands, even hidden beneath gloves, has a blush spreading across Felix's face. She dreams of crooked fingers and blue eyes. She dreams of the best orgasm she's ever had.
But that was because of the poison, wasn't it? It had nothing to do with Dimitri. Right?
Things are beyond awkward between them after that. The professor teams them up for stable duty and then reprimands them when they don’t get anything done; in battle they fight on opposite ends, and one day she has Felix sit out altogether because they cannot for the life of them sync up. Felix is bitter and unhappy, but she doesn’t seek Dimitri out. She doesn’t even know what she’d say.
In the end, it’s Dimitri who finds Felix. Felix has been doing an excellent job of avoiding and ignoring her, so Dimitri has to physically corner her outside her room before they head out on the mission for that month.
“Felix,” she says, using her sternest royal voice. Her wide shoulders take up Felix’s doorframe, blocking her in completely. She crosses her arms and scowls.
“What, Boar?”
“This is ridiculous. We cannot keep on like this, Felix. Please talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Of course there is!” Dimitri takes a breath, tries to settle herself. “What happened, in the woods… we cannot continue to ignore it.”
“Why not,” Felix hisses. Dimitri gives her a dry look.
“You are meant to be my shield,” she says, unbelievably. “How is that going to happen if you can’t look me in the eye?”
And that, of all things, has Felix shutting up, because she’s right. She closes her mouth and looks away.
“Fine,” she says, because what else is Felix supposed to say? Dimitri is right—they can’t just ignore this for the rest of their lives. “But not now. We’re supposed to meet the professor. There’s no time.”
Dimitri looks like she wants to argue, but she decides against it, because Felix has a point. “Promise me we’ll discuss it later,” she says warningly, and Felix rolls her eyes, uncrossing her arms.
“Yes!” She says. “Now move, Boar, so we can go.”
Dimitri gives her one last searching look. “After, then,” she says quietly; and together the two of them head off towards the Holy Tomb.