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“No offense, Dan, but the South is ridiculous and I think you should move away from there.” Phil informed Dan in a tone that left little room for argument. Dan had been telling him various horror stories from his last year of high school. It probably wasn’t the most sympathetic thing Phil could have said, but Dan appreciated it more than he probably would have appreciated sympathy. Somehow they’d already managed to work out a lot of each other’s ins and outs; he knew what Phil was getting at, and he knew that Phil knew he didn’t need legitimate sympathy at the moment. He was sad often enough; he didn’t want to be sad while he was talking to Phil as well. They were lying on their sides, Phil on his left side and Dan on his right, facing their computers, and Dan was painfully aware of the fact that if life was kinder they could be lying exactly the same way in the same bed having this exact conversation face to face. He curled into himself a little more, but Phil was grinning and he would meet Phil in person in 10 days, so it was hard to dwell on the negatives of the situation. Phil’s words had him laughing, which made Phil bite his lip to hold back his own laughter.
“Wow. And where would you suggest I move Phil?” Dan impressed even himself with how much of a deadpan tone he managed to maintain. Phil made him giggly and dizzy at pretty much all times without even trying, so when he was actually being funny, Dan barely stood a chance. He couldn’t help but wonder sometimes if he found Phil hilarious because Phil was actually hilarious or because Dan was hopelessly infatuated with him. Probably both.
“Somewhere Northern, of course. I was thinking maybe, you know, somewhere more like Manchester. It’s a nice place, pretty decent university.” He was joking, really, but it’s not as though they hadn’t mentioned it before. The possibility of Dan applying to Manchester University next year, moving somewhere close to where Phil was. They’d never talked about it seriously, but when Phil tossed it in casually like that, Dan got the feeling that maybe he meant it, maybe he actually would like Dan to be there, with him.
“What a good suggestion Phil! I wonder what other attractions might be in that area. Like maybe tall handsome Youtuber boys or something.” He assumed an overly serious facial expression, but felt bashful saying it, and if the way Phil hid his wide grin behind his hands was anything to go on, Phil felt bashful hearing it. Dan would be lying if he said he understood why; he was AmazingPhil and plenty of people told Phil how good-looking he was all the time. But every time Dan told him, he got the same reaction, and even if he didn’t understand, knowing he could make Phil feel like that filled his stomach with butterflies.
“I think we might have one of those.” Phil nodded as he spoke, and Dan’s mock serious facial expression broke to make way for more laughter. There was fluttering in his stomach and tingling in his fingers and probably hearts in his eyes.
“So I’ve heard.” Dan told him through his snickering. When Phil laughed back, finally letting go of the composure he’d been holding onto for the whole conversation, his tongue crept out the side of his mouth again and his eyes crinkled up and his teeth were on full display. Dan’s heart twinged. All he wanted in that moment was to hear what Phil’s laugh would be like in real life. What his voice sounded like in real life and how it would be different. Or to feel what Phil’s skin would feel like under his fingertips, or better yet, his lips. He would probably have given unreasonable things to fast-forward time.
“Ten days.” Phil whispered. His tone may have sounded a little sad, but the statement still made Dan light back up like a streetlamp at 6pm.
“Ten days.” He repeated, holding up all ten fingers for emphasis. Phil was hiding behind his hands again, and Dan wished he wouldn’t do it. Partly because it made it a little harder to hear him talk properly, and mostly because he was probably at his most beautiful when he was giggling and being shy and looking at Dan with soft, affectionate eyes that Dan could pick up even in the depressingly poor quality of the Skype video call.
“I’m going to kiss you, so much if you’ll let me, oh my God.” Phil told him, his tone light and airy and so infatuated that it made the butterflies in Dan’s stomach just plain violent.
“If I’ll let you.” He replies with his most dramatic eyeroll. “I like the way that you’re actually questioning that as though there’s an legitimate possibility of me not letting you.” Phil shrugged a little with the shoulder that wasn’t pressed to the mattress and looked away from Dan.
“You’re allowed to change your mind if you want.” He knew Phil was scared. When they’d gotten drunk together over Skype the other night, Phil had told him that he was completely terrified of how he felt about Dan. Dan knew, logically, at least, even if it hadn’t really sunk in at all, that Phil had never even had a proper crush before, he’d never been legitimately romantically interested in anyone and he’d never dated anyone or anything. And now apparently there was Dan and Phil had said that he didn’t even know how to explain how it felt to finally feel like this about someone after so long of not feeling it. Dan knew Phil was scared and unsure.
“As if I’m changing my mind.” He told him, hoping it was enough, because what he didn’t know was how to comfort Phil about this. Dan had told him they didn’t have to call it dating and they could take it slow and that he just wanted Phil in whatever way Phil was okay with, and he’d meant it. He was immensely happy that the way Phil wanted him seemed to include plenty of kissing, and he had no desire to cut that out of the bargain.
“Okay. Then I’m going to kiss you so much.” Phil told him again, all grins and innocence and Dan wanted more.
“Just kiss, huh?” he said, his tone flirty. So maybe he wanted to take the conversation in a steamy direction again; sue him, he was eighteen and Phil was so fucking handsome when he smiled at Dan like that.
“You’ve got other things planned then?” Phil asked, his tone matching Dan’s and his eyes scanning sideways a little to view the dip of Dan’s waist. Dan felt heat swirling in his stomach at the look.
“Pretty sure we’ve had lengthy conversations about the other things we’ve got planned.” Dan snaked a hand up to his neck, pulling the neck of his shirt down to reveal his collarbones and grazing his hand over his the tendons of his neck. He shivered a little, and hoped that Phil picked up on his intentions. He was getting far better at this, but he still couldn’t initiate it to save his own life.
“Do you want to have another one of those lengthy conversations?” Phil asked, offering him an exaggerated wink. They both let out a nervous giggle, and Dan rolled his head backwards.
“Oh my God, please.” He keened, slowly trailing his hand down from his neck to the front of his pyjama pants, just out of frame. He wasn’t hard yet, but honestly, he knew it wouldn’t be long. He palmed himself lightly as Phil began to talk.
“I still want to kiss you, though. That’s still number one on the list.” God, Phil had started to use the voice that Dan had deemed his ‘sex voice’ and Dan was feeling it between his legs a little already.
“So tame for you, Phil.” he countered, raising his eyebrows at Phil. He couldn’t help but notice that Phil’s right hand had slipped off the camera as well.
“Who said I was kissing your mouth?” Dan was already on the way there, but the words had what felt like all the blood in his body racing straight for his cock and he wanted Phil to kiss him everywhere, but especially there.
“Fuck.” He groaned. “Where are you going to kiss me then, Phil?” Phil liked it when he prompted, or at least he was pretty sure Phil did, because Phil always offered him a dazed little smile like he was right now. Dan pressed his palm down a little harder.
“Maybe I will start off fairly tame. I’ll start with your lips because I do want to kiss them so badly. I want to kiss your lips every time I look at them. You have perfect lips.” Dan curled those very lips into a smirk as his slid his hand from on top of his pants to inside them.
“I can think of other ways to put my perfect lips to use.” When Phil started talking again, his tone was breathy, and Dan knew he’d done his job.
“Tempting. But not yet. I mean it, I’m going to kiss your lips until we’re both out of breath and you’re going to be begging me for more.” Dan was moving his hand over his cock, not gripping it yet, but ghosting over it with his palm and trying desperately to pretend it was Phil’s hand. It wasn’t easy, because he didn’t know what Phil’s hand felt like yet. But it was easy to give himself over to the sound of Phil’s voice in his ears.
“Begging?” he challenged, seeing Phil’s ears going red and taking note of the way that his arm was definitely moving somewhere off-screen.
“Begging.” Phil assured. Dan’s stomach squirmed and he finally wrapped his fingers around himself. “And then I’m going to kiss your neck, over and over again. I’m going to kiss your neck and suck it just lightly enough to not leave marks and I’m going to kiss lines from your neck to behind your ear and back again until you’re completely crazy from it.” Dan moved a hand to his neck and followed the path Phil had suggested with light fingertips. God his neck was so sensitive and he wanted that so fucking much that he could almost feel it in his own fingertips. He rolled his hips into his hand. Phil’s left hand moved up to run into his hair, gripping it none-too-gently as his eyes fell shut. Dan wished it was his hand so badly that it would have killed his mood if Phil’s mouth hadn’t fallen open at the exact right moment.
“I wouldn’t let you get away with that for long.” He informed Phil. he wondered briefly and idly as he watched Phil’s eyes open again if he had a sex voice at all. Even if he didn’t, Phil let out a quiet whimper, so something he was doing was working.
“No?” Phil asked, voice cracking a little in pleasure, and Dan could see him buck his hips. He was so hot, so goddamn hot, when they did this. His face was dusted red and he always pulled at his hair and messed it up and he made the most outrageously sexy noises Dan has ever heard and he was just so hot. Dan was beginning to doubt he’d be able to handle it in person. It was just his own hand but it always felt so much better when he had Phil to look at. Phil, who was touching himself, too, and thinking of Dan, looking at Dan. Fuck.
“No. I’d push you down into your bed and go straight for your thighs.” He told Phil after an accidental moment’s pause. He hadn’t meant to stare so long, but Phil was just so gorgeous.
“Yeah?” It was more of a gasp than anything else and Dan didn’t know how their suggestions had only just gotten passed kissing and yet he was feeling about as much of a mess as Phil sounded.
“Of course. I’m going to suck marks there, all the way along the inside of your thighs.” Phil groaned, and suddenly the room was far too hot. He needed to get out of some of his clothes, and he needed out quickly. He sat up a little and moved to pull off his shirt.
“Wait!” Phil begged, and Dan’s hands stilled. “Don’t take your shirt off. Not yet.” He tried not to let it hurt. Phil had said ‘not yet’, Phil had told him he was beautiful and hot and handsome and so many other good words so many times, Phil was pink-faced and messy haired and touching himself just to the thought of kissing Dan. Surely this wasn’t an insult. But he couldn’t help but be slightly too aware of the feminine waist and the itty-bitty love-handles as he dropped the hem of his shirt and enquired,
“Okay, why?” Phil had the look on his face again, the one he’d had when he was telling Dan he was terrified of how he felt. Dan knew it wasn’t about his waist or his tummy before Phil said another word.
“I want the first time I see you to be when I can see you properly - this is probably silly, I know – but I don’t want to do this on a webcam that’s got roughly 4 pixels resolution.” It wasn’t silly, it wasn’t. Dan suddenly wished he’d thought of it himself because as he looked at the bad lighting in Phil’s room, the terrible grainy quality, the slight lag of the Skype call, he knew it could never do the moment justice. He was in love with Phil, the dizzy, butterflies, trashy rom-com, head-over-heels kind, and he’d known it for a little while. He wanted them to get naked together for the first time in a way that felt perfect and right. And this didn’t feel wrong, at all, but it didn’t feel significant. So he nodded.
“Okay. So the clothes stay on. Or at least, they do on camera.” He spun the computer to face his bedhead and climbed off the bed behind it. He pulled off his pyjama bottoms and left them pooled on the floor, the cold air hitting his cock and pulling a ridiculous moan from him because he was so damn hard.
“Dan what are you doing?” he heard Phil ask. He didn’t answer, but instead, climbed back onto the bed and resumed his former position, sliding the computer back to face him, slowly, to make sure he didn’t accidentally travel too low.
“The webcam absolutely cannot go any lower than this.” He told Phil, daring to pull up his shirt just enough to reveal his navel. Phil’s pupils were blown so damn wide and he was smiling and biting his lip and Dan was pretty sure it’d been a good move. He took himself back in his left hand and began to stroke again.
“You tease.” Phil told him.
“You like it.” He teased, a surprisingly genuine smirk of confidence spreading over his face.
“I definitely do.” Phil told him. There was a little thread of desperation underneath his tone that Dan felt right in his cock. He loved this. He really loved this. It couldn’t compare to the real thing, he was sure, but there was Phil’s voice and his face and his telling arm movements and it was as close to perfect as he could get when they were still so far away from each other.
“Now, where were we?” he asked, almost surprised to hear that he didn’t sound much better than Phil.
“I believe a certain gorgeous guy was marking up my thighs.” Phil told him, and even through the webcam that Dan knew couldn’t possibly be doing them justice, Phil’s eyes sparkled.
“I’m going to find all the exact places that make you crazy and I’m going to kiss them and suck them and bite them all until you’re desperate.” He told Phil. He didn’t think, he just told Phil what he wanted to do to him and hoped it came out right. He didn’t want to think right now, didn’t need to. Phil wanted him, and he felt so comfortable underneath the heavy amorous haze that it felt so okay to just say whatever he was imagining. When Phil let out a quiet but desperate moan and started to move his hand faster, Dan knew he was right about it all.
“You’re going to drive me crazy.” Phil’s voice was laced with plenty of heat but there was fondness, so much fondness, in his voice that it makes the feeling in his chest temporarily rivals all the sensations below his waist. Phil’s face was a little hesitant, but he didn’t comment or take anything back.
“Damn right I am.” He counters, knowing that wasn’t exactly what Phil meant. But he didn’t want things to get too heavy, he didn’t want Phil to get nervous; he knew it was easier to keep things sexual. There’s a microscopic moment when gratitude appears on Phil’s face, before being taken over by a smirk.
“I’m going to push you up off me and get on my knees in front of you to suck you off.” Phil told him, all abruptness and sex-voice. Dan heard himself moan involuntarily. He squeezes his hand hard around himself, and he can feel his orgasm building. “I’ll take your cock in my mouth and grab your hands and put them in my hair. I want you to pull my hair Dan. Promise me.” his tone is commanding and Dan’s getting so close, God.
“I promise. I promise.” He sounded so fucking submissive, even to his own ears, but he can’t bring himself to mind. Phil whined at his tone, and that only made it better. He was imagining it, imagining what Phil would look like on his knees, Dan’s hands in his hair, and it had Dan so goddamn desperate. 10 days. He reminded himself, squeezing the head of his cock again and shuddering. His back arched and his head ground backward into his pillow.
“I’m going to take you all the way in, and you’re going to hit the back of my throat and I’m going to suck down hard around you, and then I’m going to pull all the way back again just to tease you. I’m going to suck your balls and ignore your leaking cock until you pull my hair so hard that you convince me to suck you again.” The fact that Phil wasn’t even talking in hypotheticals, he was just talking in future tense, has Dan’s legs shaking and he’s going to come, he’s so goddamn close, shit shit shit.
“Phil I’m so fucking-I’m close.” He stuttered out, and Phil’s smirking at him but his face was red again and he had a hand back in his hair, tugging it, so he was not much better off. Dan rolled onto his back, his eyes clamped shut and his mouth open, because he couldn’t look at Phil anymore, he couldn’t, and he needed the better leverage. He presses his thumb through his slit and he was seconds away, seconds
“Come on, Bear, come for me. For me, please.” The ‘please’ was all it took for Dan to tip over the edge, and he came so hard that a string hit his chin. He didnt notice as he rocked into his hand, finishing off completely. But when he pulled his hand away, completely spent, he could feel the sticky liquid there. He was painfully aware of the fact that it was probably all over his shirt as well. He moved his hand up to wipe away the drops on his chin.
“Gross.” He muttered, trying to joke to cover his mild embarrassment. He only then realised that he hadn’t needed to, because a curse word tore from Phil’s mouth and he looked over to see white spurts flying onto Phil’s own shirt. Admittedly, not his chin, but they’d both have a fun clean up job ahead of them.
“Wow, Dan.” Phil murmured quietly. His tone carried the weight of so much affection but still managed to sound so light and content and Dan’s heart was well above the clouds. “You have no idea how happy I am that you’re getting less shy about talking back.” Phil told him with a note of gentle ribbing in his voice. Dan rolled his eyes.
“You gave me a pretty good idea just then.” Phil gave him an amused snort, before looking at his shirt and his bedsheets in front of him.
“I’ve only got a little bit on the shirt. It’s a miracle!” he informed Dan, making him chuckle.
“I’ve got come everywhere and I should definitely go and clean it.” he doesn’t actually want to move, which would present a problem there.
“Go on then. I’ll go fix mine too and then come back.” Dan knew he should be surprised by now, he really shouldn’t but he is.
“You want to come back?” His tone sounds pathetic but Phil was giving him a smile that was so achingly affectionate and Dan really was so damn in love with him.
“Of course I do. What would I rather be doing with my night?” He made it sound as though the answer was so obviously nothing. Dan was suddenly overwhelmed by just how excited he was for the 19th that he felt a little lightheaded with it.
“Okay. We’ll go clean up and then come back. Should we end the call for now?” When Phil shook his head emphatically, Dan’s heart splintered a bit because Phil felt this too. “Okay. Cool. I’ll be right back.” He dragged himself out of bed, seeing Phil move off the webcam and do the same. He hurried so much as he shoved his pyjama pants back on, because a few minutes away were starting to seem like too many. Ten days. Ten days. Ten days.