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As one of your arms wrapped firmly around his waist, you felt more so than heard Caleb’s chuckle as his hand remained gently in your hair. Subconsciously reaching up and gently rubbing the dog tag necklace hanging around his neck, you glared at his chest as if it were the reason for his departure. Closing your eyes, you gave yourself just a few more seconds in his arms before he had to leave for his training—you hadn’t realized you’d end up dreading it so much. You bit your lip, your brows furrowing slightly as you pouted at nothing in particular before you released your hold on him and stepped back just enough to look up at him and weakly smile.
Caleb gave you a small nod, his hand ruffling the back of your head as he softly smiled. "Don't cry.. I'll be back before you know it." He whispered, gently leaning his head against yours as you forced that smile to remain on your face. As he stepped back, you blinked away the tears threatening to fill your eyes. “..You better be.” You whispered back, your voice just loud enough for the two of you to hear among the bustle of the airport.
Chuckling softly, Caleb tilted his head as his eyes softened. “You think I’d lie to you, pipsqueak?” He teased back, unable to stop himself from softly brushing his thumb underneath your eye to wipe away the single tear that had betrayed you. You gave him a weaker smile this time, a little sigh escaping your lips as you shook your head with a soft, sad laugh. “I’d hope not.”
Looking back towards his gate, Caleb adjusted his duffel bag slung over his shoulder and gave you a little nod. “I gotta go now. Take care of yourself.” He said, a more serious look in his eyes as he watched your face closely. As he spoke, you felt a sudden wave of reluctance hit you.
Don’t go.
Taking in a steadying breath, you quickly nodded once and flashed him a smile to hide the blooming anxiety rising in your throat. “You too, Caleb. Please..” Your voice trailed off, biting your lip as you shook your head and tightened your lips. He gave you a gentle reassuring look, nodding his head once more before lifting his hand in his final goodbye and turning around.
..Don’t go..
Feeling a rise in your chest, you suddenly ran over towards him, grasping his hand in your own and pulling him back slightly. As Caleb turned around in surprise, before he could even speak you quickly pressed your lips to his cheeks before moving back, your cheeks flush matching the shade of his ears as he gave you a little understanding smile.
“I’ll see you later.” He whispered, the words sounding like a conviction as he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your temple before walking away for good this time. You bit your lip, your body screaming at you to run after him but you knew you couldn’t. You watched him walk towards the gate, and he turned around to give you one final wave and a heartstopping smile that froze you in place.
…Please.
You were barely able to raise your hand and return the gesture before he boarded the plane, your mind racing with the sudden rush of feelings in your head. Were you really in love with Caleb? You felt the world spin around you as your mind flashed back to when Caleb first announced that he was going to start training to become a pilot.
“I got in!” Caleb excitedly cheered, laughing with you and your grandmother as he threw his arm over your shoulders. Leaning into his side, you giggled, gazing up at the pure happiness dazzling in his violet eyes.
It was a sight you wished you could see forever.
“How long will you be gone?” You asked, tilting your head curiously. Caleb looked down at you, his brows raising slightly before he grinned, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I uh…actually, I’m not quite sure.” He admitted quietly, and you laughed, shaking your head. It was such a Caleb thing to say you couldn’t even be mad at him.
Your grandmother watched the two of you with a soft smile, shaking her head as she pat Caleb on the back. “Of course you don’t.” She teased lightly, and the three of you just laughed.
You now sat in your bedroom, staring blankly down at your phone in your slightly trembling hands. The screen reflected back a picture of you and Caleb taken on your favorite bridge, your hands nearly touching against the railing. Pressing down on it, you felt yourself tearfully smile as the picture moved, and Caleb’s laughter could be heard from your phone.
You truly were in love with him, and now he was miles away. It would be wrong to wish for him to just come back already, but you felt like you had a million things to say to him. You needed to see him again—to tell him that you didn’t want to miss him like this.
Your hand tightened around your phone as you bit your lip, tears stinging your eyes as you shakily took in a breath. Your mind kept playing back different instances of your life with Caleb—the day when the two of you had gone ice skating for the first time and both ended up on your asses on the ice laughing. The time you tried to cook fried rice together and ended up buying takeout instead. The night you two walked along your favorite bridge and talked about anything and everything you could dream of.
Two nights ago when the two of you sat quietly on the roof gazing up at the sky.
“I’m gonna be up there one day.” Caleb whispered close to your ear, his hand resting behind your back against the roof as he leaned slightly towards you. Humming quietly, you tilted your head as you looked over at him. The stars seemed to sparkle in his eyes as he gazed upwards, a dreamy smile on his lips.
Seeing how happy he looked, you felt yourself softly smile as well. “I’m sure you will be, Caleb.” You murmured back, moving to look up at the sky as well. The idea of him flying up there was daunting at first, but you also knew how brave he was. Adjusting your weight, you felt your fingertips brush against his and you glanced over to give an apology before your eyes widened slightly.
Caleb had turned his head at some point and was already quietly looking at you, his head tilting as his eyes softened. He reached his free hand over, the one you had nearly brushed against, to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
Any words that could have possibly formed on your lips immediately faded away as you blinked up at him, a soft blush growing on your face that was mirrored directly on his as well.
“You’re worried about me leaving.” Caleb whispered, and you felt yourself pout, the blush on your face worsening. How’d he know? “Am not.” You protested, tilting your chin up slightly as he softly chuckled and shook his head.
“Yes you are, pipsqueak. It’s written all over your face. You forget that I know you.” He corrected with an easygoing smile, turning his head back to the stars as he sighed softly.
Shifting beside him, you finally let out a soft breath before pulling a box out of your pocket. When you had found out he had gotten into the aerospace training program, you had bought him a necklace with a dog tag and small charm on it.
Squeezing the box slightly, you quickly set it in his lap, clearing your throat as you nonchalantly looked back up at the sky. “..So you don’t forget about me up there.” You whispered, your ears burning as you watched him reach for the box out of the corner of your eye.
He had a small smile on his lips as he took out the necklace, eyeing it carefully under the soft moonlight. “...You really got me something?” He asked in mock surprise, knowing that any occasion was occasion enough for you to spend money. Shrugging, you felt yourself quietly smile and simply hum at him.
“...Thank you.” He whispered earnestly, and as you turned his head, his face was closer to yours. He had already set the box down, and he once more brushed a strand of hair behind your ear before allowing his hand to rest along the curve of your jaw.
“I’ll keep it next to my heart.” He promised, a fierce determination burning in his eyes as he tilted his head slightly against yours.
Lost in your sea of memories, you barely registered the tears sliding down your face and onto your phone screen, still alight with Caleb’s face.
Love always had the cruelest way of revealing its hand.